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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This one was really fun to write. I got to put more air combat into the mix, which has always been a personal favorite of mine, and this time, Whisper was closely involved.
So the war itself is essentially over, but Serenity is still safe and secure inside their Stable. There's still more to be done, but straight-up military force isn't going to be enough. They're going to need to get tricky... but hey, they happen to have an expert on tricky!
This chapter also hits a milestone that I hadn't expected to reach: Fallout: Equestria - The Chrysalis is now over half a million words long. It's been a long journey to reach this point, and I'm still surprised just how far it's come.
Speaking of how far it's come, while it still got a little further to go, the end is drawing closer. How close? Unless something truly unexpected comes up, three more chapters and an epilogue... and I have most of that already written. Depending on how much writing I get done in the next week, I'll be finishing the story in one or two more updates. The last two chapters and the epilogue will be posted together. After three years of fun and writing, we're nearing the end. It's almost hard to believe.
Ooof, thats a heck of a position to be in. Trapped, with a very active nuke in your bunker...
Glad to see this so darn near to the end, and curious how its going to be.
9167684
I do hope you're proud of yourself for writing this, you have a lot of reason to be.
YESYESYES UPDATE!!!
3 years after first chapter... still getting regular updates. thats dedication my friend.
Over soon?
It's crazy to think that this fic, the first I ever read on fimfiction and possibly my all-time favorite is coming to an end. I can't wait to see how it turns out.
So how far along until it's finished..so I can download the whole thing and read at my pleasure? Like watching the whole season of a show.
9167684
This has been one hell of a ride so far and I look forward to the conclusion. I have loved every step of this journey so far.
9167684
Congratulations on half-a-million words! I found myself loving every word, as you might have guessed!
I like the last couple of chapters but they were unnerving to the extreme fir me. I know Serenity are egomanaics, yet I still expect them to play back with Whisper. This war feels very clean for the ponies side as we only lost the raider queen in her tank from important characters.
BUTT we havent seen the bombling enter the stable itself. I am expecting it to be sitting in the tunnels shitting itself from combat and crying from lackof communication. The moment it gets any communication with the stable, it propably gonna evaporate half ofthe pony army with a bug resurgence.
A big boss fight with Chrysalis is something evryone expects but its a spy story. I cant see Whisper getting into an epic duel but have her have a speech and someone downing Chrysalis with an aimed shot from an unexpected position.
9167684 SEQUAL!!!
Next is the climax of the story! Its finally here! YESSSSSS!!! .....NOOOOOOO!!!!! I dont want it to end! Lol
Wait, couldn't Whisper have brought Echo along in the raid? She seems the most suitable, seeing as she could just teleport the megaspell away from the changeling. Heck, she could probably teleport the changeling too. She wouldn't have problems keeping up with them, either, being an Alicorn and all.
Edit: She's also the most likely to survive the megaspell from close-range.
9167684
It has truly been an honor and privilege to follow your work these past few years. I discovered your writing talent when I empathized with Nictis, in Without a Hive, so strongly. You quickly became my favorite author here on fimfic and even contend with traditional print authors like Alexandre Dumas and David Eddings for my top pick.
After A New Way ended and you announced The Chrysalis, I was forced to go back on a previous statement I made, which was to ignore the massive depression that was Fallout Equestria. Because I wanted to understand the setting of your next story, I worked my way through the original FOE, Pinkeyes, and Project Horizon. I went into that thinking it was going to be torture, and came out--depressed, sure--but also glad I did. I wouldn't have discovered some very good writing if I hadn't anticipated your own so very much. ^_^
Whatever you plan to write after The Chrysalis, you can count on me to continue falling into the stories you weave. If they happen to continue focusing on changelings, so much the better.
9168051
It helps that this has been so much fun to write. Writing is a form of entertainment for me, which has made this whole journey all the better.
9168308
I'm hesitant to lay down a deadline, since I seem to be horrible at estimating that, but I think it's safe to say I should have the rest of the story (About thirty to forty thousand words!) posted within a month. Most of it already has the first draft complete.
9168509
I'm a little disappointed to hear that. I'd been trying to keep it from seeming too "clean" a victory for the ponies, despite how well they did thanks to Whisper's intel. I tried to show that through attrition; Trotsen has lost a good number of their motorwagons (About half), the Loyalists have been worn down to maybe twenty strong, and more than two hundred ponies lost their lives. But that's also not quite as visible as the death of major characters, and most of Serenity's success there came before the whole war properly kicked off...
Thank you for the feedback.
9169054
While I didn't give the reason directly in the story, it was basically to minimize the apparent significance of the Loyalist flight. Echo is probably regarded as a top-tier threat, especially after her actions at Rotwater Creek. The Loyalists taking off is worth keeping track of, but not too unusual. Echo taking off would probably be seen as something major going down. Same for Whisper taking off, which was why Starlight was wearing her power armor to give the impression she was still there.
...That, and Echo might have issues with following directions if she decides there's a better way of doing things.
9169071
That's quite the high praise! And it's wonderfully encouraging to hear that my writing encouraged you to read a genre you previously had no interest in, and I'm particularly happy to hear that you enjoyed it! It feels nice to have encouraged something like that. Thank you.
I absolutely plan on continuing to write, of course. It's a fun hobby! I've already got another story demanding to be written, though in a change from my last several stories, it isn't pony-related. There might still be some bug themes involved, though. I seem to have arthropods on the brain.
9167684
I’m simultaneously happy — over half a million words and I’ll get to know the end soon! — and sad — the end is coming soon!
I think this is a really impressive FF. Granted, I had trouble understanding a lot of the smaller details of the war, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying it!
A cat? Seriously?
I already like her!
They’re the enemies, but I have to respect their determination and loyalty.
This feels ominous, considering how Serenity’s tactic was to stir up a storm to sneak the megaspell past.
9169373
I mean we didn't have any scenes of Whisper stopping due to the tragedy around her. There were no low rank ponies trying their luck to eliminate her, there were no scenes where Whisper got a breakdown due to seeing like a mountain of mishandled changeling bodies. I mean there are a couple war scenes I kindda expected but there were no real scenes that war fics have where the protagonist has a meltdown and we don't see it here. Maybe it's me beeing a huge conneseur of grimdark where the winning side has maybe an eight of their numbers after evrything is done but let me tell you that it doesn't make the story a bad war fic.
It's partally due to Whispers nature of a professionalist that does never operate at the front lines for even a secound, she's always part of a reaction force that just skips through the gritty parts or she just hangs around camp. To be honest I expected her to have a meltdown when seeing ponies gathering the bodies from the great battle and asking some ponies to set them aflame, only to have hillbilly ponies not doing that to spite her kind.
"interface between the PipBucks and the armor were working"
"interface between the PipBucks and the armor was working" or "interfaces between the PipBucks and the armor were working"?
"every single pegasi was diving"
"every single pegasus was diving"?
"looked back to the pursing Loyalists"
"looked back to the pursuing Loyalists"?
"holding them loosely at my side"
"holding them loosely at my sides"?
"I may not have any experience with weather manipulation"
"I might not have any experience with weather manipulation"?
9167684
Congratulations on the milestone!
And thanks for writing. :)
9167684
I have very much enjoyed this story. You know a story is good when you are getting to the end and you get sad because you know it will end, but you still want to see how it ends.
9169614
This one makes me really happy. They may be the "bad guys", but I wanted to show that they're not evil through-and-through. There's good qualities in there, things that we can respect, even if we disagree with their goals and have to fight against them. We may be seeing a bit more of that in the near future, too...
And yes, Sunbeam is so very cute, and I wish I had introduced her earlier in the story.
9170194
Ehh, Whisper isn't really a "breakdown" kind of mare, unless it's over something deeply personal to her, like the death of her queen and sisters. After waking up to her dead queen, handling the decayed remains of her own sisters, the scenes of bloodshed Sickle or various raiders have unleashed (From the army depot to Paradise Beach to Boomer), and of course, the nightmare of her own hive, she's kind of lost any sense of squeamishness. She even makes note of that in one of the chapters I'm working on. She's already had her breakdowns, over far more personal matters, and has learned to cope.
One of the selection criteria for Infiltrators is a highly stable emotional state and good stress management, and that's even before training to help reinforce those areas. Even then... she's still lingered on the sights of death, including the somber focus on the number of bodies they rode past on the way to Rotwater a couple chapters ago. She's not unaffected by it, by any means, but it doesn't have the same personal sting as seeing her own dead sisters swarming and trying to eat her.
That said, I'm not sure why the ponies would be trying to eliminate her. I mean, nevermind that repeated victories have a great way of pacifying internal tensions. Some ponies still don't care much for her, and there's been some tension and harsh language and even threats thrown around, but the leadership of every faction is mostly on her side and entirely against killing her. Any pony who might want to see her harmed would know that their own leaders would beat their flanks if they tried... assuming there's still a flank to beat once Echo is done with them.
Incidentally, the next chapter does touch a fair bit on that last subject. Not the "eliminate her" part, but the tensions and leadership stuff. It also shows why "hillbilly ponies" refusing to let Whisper do something would not in any way prevent it from happening...
9171242
Yeah, I know. I was mostly thinking of what I saw in truely grimdark war fics where the win is acheved by grinding forwards and the winner coming on top just barely and survivors beeing just enought to continue their species. It's not this kind of story, conflict and protagonist. But as a Fallout: Equestria endgame conflict it was top notch as evry death does feel much more impactful due to smaller scale.
But that just proves that noone from Whispers team sacrificed anything. Noone got hurt for extended periodes of time, besides Whisper walking off an assasination and that is the precize reason why it does feel at least a little bit clean. I mean nopony even broke a leg...
It's a small war for extinction. Its realistic to assume some ponies go crazy to develop big rasism against changelings and as the conflict progresses try to take Whisper down to exterminate all changelings, so this never happens again - at least in their mind. And I feel such a reasoning wouldn't be automaticly shut down because it's practicality in wartime.
You still didn't answer if you prepare up a sequel...
9171370
Well, none of the main characters suffered much, unless you count Sandstorm. Sickle got a bit messed up, but she downplayed it.
No plans for a sequel at the moment, though I've got some little ideas dancing around that might become one. I think I've got a couple other stories I'm going to do before that would be a possibility, though.
9171438
Sicle is hurt all the time and she will walk it off if she still has all of her limbs. [she still has her tail? hmm...] And with how unceremonially the story itself sends Sandstorm off, I would count her as a secoundary character at best.
The natural solution is one of Whispers clutch, making an adventure couple years into the future. Maybe even 2 or 3 of them to be a core for a team. I had one crazy idea for a changeling storyline in a F:Eq story that you might find insipiring if your willing to take it to PMs...
9172255
I've already got the basic idea of what I'd do for a sequel, but thanks
This is going far too well. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Mega spell doesn't have to be in the stable. One little hiding spot outside with a stable reinforced and prepared for close proximity blast would be enough to wipe out half the army, command element included and changelings are known for their tunnel nests. It's possible they could have a second door to a back door shooting off to some far off place.
Also, it's entirely possible that changelings have all the evidence they need to suspect a breach of comm sec. I'm actually surprised that they seem to not know it already but their successes with guerilla warfare after the last big battle could have been chocked up to the tactics themselves.
I’m kinda disappointed how easy this has been for them they should not be able to do this well against a properly organized and trained military.
Guess who's back to reading ponyfic?
Point Firefly, here we come!
Interesting. Wonder what exactly the purpose of this is.
Huh. They're being sneaky, I guess? Making Serenity wonder WTF they're doing, I expect.
Pff, flying completely blind on nothing but EFS... that's gotta be messy
Hah. Haven't seen many FO:E stories where there isn't at least someone complaining about that, somewhere
Mission accomplished, lol.
Ordinarily they might see such a departure as a chance to attack while the enemy is without air support, but given the fact their megaspell drop plans are already put in motion, I doubt they'll bother.
It's probably gonna make them all really nervous about what they're up to, though
Ohh. Clever.
Ohey. This op is big enough to potentially blow their largest tactical advantage? After this they may figure out the enemy has access to their comms...
Um. Whoops?
Ohboy. This is gonna be a thrill ride to the end, isn't it?
Ooh. She's gonna have to go after it herself
Now if only there was a way to make it detonate on arrival there
Whoo, one instant body upgrade!
Your armour may become a little too snug like that, though...
Ah yes. They can do that trick too
Ahh, crap. Serenity has the megaspell in the home base now, and they might realize their comms are compromised.
Then again, a megaspell in the hive is a nice setup for eventually setting it off there
Actually, now I think about it... Serenity is a nuclear bunker. From the moment the army arrives they could technically just leave the damn thing outside on a timer and close the big door
Though I guess that would trap them in a heavily irradiated area for another few decades...
Interesting. Guess the megaspell option is not a very viable one for Serenity.
Well, the original Chrysalis would be far too self-absorbed to make that kind of sacrifice, but with this whole zealous bunch, I dunno
That storm will break loose soon anyway, though, with or without interference.
Indeed...
Eh. Taking out their comms? That's a pretty noteworthy contribution
Enemy is holed up? Shell the shit out of them
That's... expected, but not good.
Well. Unless they find the megaspell on the outside of it. Then they can just set it off and forget about the whole place
Not counting the fact Stables are built for long-term self-sufficiency?
Woo! Managed to get it all done before the storm!
Remarks and corrections:
> Sunbeam, a cute yellow pegasus that looked deceptively pretty for a soldier
I'd say "[who] looked"
> I really wish I could have had more time, so I could whip up a program to filter out
Should be "I really wished" and "so I could've whipped up". This is all past tense, after all.
> I felt my heart hammer at that, and I radioed Dusty to make sure he knew.
This sounds weird. It sounds as if she's radioing Dusty to tell him her heart is hammering
Ah, another one here:
> “It’s good. Comfy”
Missing period at the end.
is that a penis joke?