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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Welp, see you in another three months!
...Okay, okay, kidding Actually, part of the reason for the delay is that I wanted to be absolutely certain that I would have the next chapter out reasonably quickly after this one. As much as I love being an evil writer at times, there was no way I'd let something like this hang for too long.
So, good news! The next chapter is already written and in for editing, and I've even got decent progress on the chapter after that! More good news! This term's schedule is much more conducive to writing (Leaving lots of time open when there aren't other things going on to distract me), so I've kept up the pace even with the new classes. Hopefully new chapters should come at a good pace once more.
OHMYGODANUPDATYAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!
Gonna read it nooooooow!!!
Well crap, this was certainly not what was expected, but a hell of an ending point.
And huh, looking forward to one hell of an answer to the cliffhanger.
8675439
featured once again, my friend. nicely done!
This was a good chapter, you got that whole cool build up of gained alliances and everything coming together to work together and that stuff and that BAMN THAT CLIFFHANGER.
Now.. here is the question that will nag at me for a while
How long was that a thing.
Heads-up: Non-MLP series/franchise tags are a thing now, including for Fallout.
Yaaaay, update!!
I love this story. And then this cliffhanger at the end!! And now I'm waiting for the next chapter.
*dances around*
8675439
Ah sweet! When will you upload it? The suspense will kill me!!! Xp
AAAHHH! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT DUDE! AFTER THAT LONG HIAUTUS AND AT LAST GETTING THIS AWESOME CHAPTER, YOU LEAVE IT ON THEBIGGEST CLIFFHANGER OF THE STORY!!? AAAARRRRHHHHH!!!! XPXPXP
awesome chapter bro, everythings starting to fall into place. Xd
Near the end I was wondering why whisper was thought monolouging, then halfway thru it I realized what was about to happen, I knew how it was going to happen too, I was partially screaming at her "IT'S A TRAP!!!. now I'm gonna be wondering what happened till the next update! Evil writer!!! Lol
Again great job man! This is like my top ten favrit stories on here. Xd
When you said in your previous blog post that this chapter would end on a big cliffhanger, I had assumed that this chapter would end with the beginning of the assault on Sanctuary. I didn't expect this.
(Though admittedly I was getting suspicious when there didn't seem to be enough chapter left for something big to happen, so I figured it out once Starlight reappeared and wanted to go somewhere private.)
Awesome chapter. It's good to be back!
8675910 Also I'll second this comment. You're going to want to add the Fallout tag now. I mean, obviously everything old gets grandfathered in whenever the tagging system is changed, but it's still good to be on top of things.
Right as Starlight showed up, acted odd and asked Whisper to talk in private, I knew it wouldn't end well!
Welp. You sure know how to make an unbelievably awesome story, that's for sure!
... and you continue to make my night!
the end
hey nice chapter, glad u are back
Rejoce! The wait is finally over!
Not realy a cliffhanger though, since Wisper wrote it in a diary we supposedly reading now.
Ah yes, the "I need to talk to you, in private" trap. Never gets old.
Alright, I see two ways this could go, since the main character in a first-person narrated story can't just die off before the end or be unconscious for a major plot event. (Unless Phoenix is playing silly buggers with us and is going to suddenly have the next chapter start out in third person...)
One is that Whisper knew it was a trap. If a changeling replaced Starlight, she would kind of have to unless changelings can choose to give off emotion just like a pony. That lack of connection would immediately give away any infiltrator trying to impersonate a member of Whisper's group. If Whisper knows it's a trap and the attacker doesn't know they've been found out, it would be fairly simple for her to turn the tables.
The other choice, and god do I hope this isn't the case, is that Whisper never heard the shot because the bullet came through the window. Starlight was never replaced, just mind controlled long enough to get Whisper into that room so someone outside could take the shot. Really, using a gun at all seems like a terrible idea, since ideally you wouldn't want anyone in Mareford to have concrete proof that changelings are real, and a dead body is pretty solid proof, but if you're gonna, having the agent outside the room is really the only way to ensure that they get away after taking the shot, since even a silenced pistol would be loud enough at that range to alert Dusty and Sickle.
We also have no proof that Whisper is the one being targeted. It's entirely possible that Starlight was the target (since the one in the room pretty much has to be real). Just to make this little cliffhanger even worse.
8675439
Methinks Whisper got a little too comfortable dealing with ponies XD
Sickle better be getting up and saving Whisper cause she noticed starlight didn't react to her crass comments like normal. Figure she still owes Whisper after the whole knocking her unconscious and nearly killing her bit.
Also nice to see this updating again been reading since it started just never had an account to comment with till now.
8677058
Yeah, Whisper should notice the lack of love. She can't be that distracted, right? Something's fishy. I'd also be pretty paranoid and constantly check my pipbuck for hostiles.
FUCK
8677058
8677276
Do note, however, that 'emitting' love has always been portrayed as an active thing. For example, Whisper could only feed on Starlight's love for her mother when Starlight was talking about her and bringing up those memories. Similarly, Starlight's feelings of affection for Whisper come up when she's thinking of Whisper (Whether consciously or unconsciously). If she's not thinking about Whisper (Say, more distracted by something else), then she'd be emitting little or none. Same if there's some other strong emotion that's occupying her thoughts (For example, when she's been upset, she gives off little or no affection, followed by a surge when Whisper comforts her). Or consider how Whisper senses Starlight's love for her Lancer when she's boasting about it, but not when she's just using or carrying it.
As for the PipBuck, they're terribly unreliable at picking out changeling Infiltrators. Remember, Whisper assaulted and knocked out several changelings in the middle of their hive, and didn't show up as hostile until it turned into a firefight! So it's possible that an assassin wouldn't show up as hostile until they went for the shot.
And... yeah, Whisper possibly got a little distracted and complacent, there.
8677776
The thing with the Pipbuck was one I was aware of. After all, as you mentioned, Whisper herself proved that they can be deceived as long as you're aware that you need to deceive one.
But the clarification on the emotion sense is interesting. The thing with detecting love directed at others is one I was aware of. It's part of the reason it would be unreliable at best for detecting changeling infiltrators outside the small group that's particularly close to Whisper. But I wasn't aware that it could be completely drowned out by other strong emotions. It had always seemed like it was a sort of low-level passive thing that was always there. I mean, Whisper herself didn't even notice when Sickle started feeling attached to her until Whisper stopped to think about it.
So that does lend credence to the possibility that Whisper just got complacent. Though, I would counter that by saying that a small, background detail like that, particularly one so pervasive as the feeling of being loved, would be even more shocking in its sudden absence than it ever would be in its presence.
I still maintain that Whisper isn't unconscious or dead after that shot, since she's the main perspective character and she really can't be dead or unconscious for a long time right now (unless you *really* want to drag this cliffhanger along and switch up the narration in the next chapter...). I mean, that whole last section is basically literary lingerie. It shows off just enough to draw us in and make us imagine everything it's implying, all without ever actually showing us anything concrete. It never actually says that anything bad happens, it just implies it and let's us fill in the gaps with the worst things we can imagine.
But if you kill or maim Starlight, we're gonna have words.
8677911
Oh, nice. Thank you for introducing me to that phrase. That's such a perfect way of describing something like this. I love it!
8677940
Lol, I'm glad you liked that. It popped into my head while I was taking a shower and I just had to share it. Because shower thoughts are best thoughts.
Whoa. Didn't see that coming.
Was Starlight somehow replaced by a Changeling? That's what makes the most sense to me. Or maybe it is actually Starlight and she has some other goal or motive. It doesn't seem like her at all to do that though, so I'm going to go with Changeling theory. The question is how she was replaced without anypony noticing.
Of course, I now fully expect to be wrong and utterly blindsided by next chapter.
So looking forward to the next chapter! Cliffhangers suck, but at the same time, the suspense is far greater when you have to wait for the next chapter to be released!
Son of a bitch...
Ye fokken wo0t
So Starlight was replaced at some point between the escape from Serenity (unless they had the foresight to plant a fake Starlight, which given their reaction, or rather lack thereof, to Whisper's escape plan seems unlikely) and now. The reaction of the infiltrator at Trotsen seems to suggest Starlight was replaced after that, although it's possible that was just a cover up.
Still, I expect that killing Whisper would be an ASAP priority for Serenity, and they probably would have done it during the search for the Enclave loyalists if they could, so that means that Starlight was either replaced at Gemstone, or at Mareford.
Did some close reading, and we remember that Whisper slept with Starlight the day before getting shot, which would have even an even better opportunity to shoot Whisper.
Right after Dusty says this, a potential infiltrator gets the opportunity to capture/kill Starlight or even just impersonate her while she's busy with the motorwagon, and kill Whisper...
...Wait a second.
How does Whisper get shot by Starlight with her standing in front?! Why would she leave the door open if she was planning on shooting Whisper?! It's possible that I'm just missing something and Whisper did indeed turn her back on Starlight before being shot, or something else that we never really considered.
Also, we've assumed that since Whisper said there was a shot that she was shot by a bullet, but back in the escape from Serenity we read that even intentionally injuring someone else is enough to show up red, so Whisper had to put them to sleep instead. Did Whisper get tranq'd?
8679014
Whisper led the way into the room, but when Starlight didn't close the door, Whisper turned and stepped back to do so, which would naturally put Starlight (Now further in the room) behind her.
imgflip.com/s/meme/Heavy-Breathing-Cat.jpg
8679014
Happy thoughts until she turned around? A tranq? A second shooter aiming through the window (assuming the room had one)? It's clear starlight left the door open so whisper would turn around and close it but it's not fully clear how she managed to pop friendly until the moment of intent. Though i suppose the fact that she is still able to log these events means it wasn't lethal.
Also now I'm curious as to sickle moving around had some sort of significance.
8679222
Also I'm really happy with the way this story is able to catch me off guard and maintain my interest with each time i return to it. I wish i could fast forward time yo the next update!
Son of a.......well...that...that was like a shot in the dark
.....eh? ......eeeeh?
Oh come on, phoenix, i had to. That joke only had one chance, i had to pull the trigger!
XD
On a side note, damn....best twist ive seen in a while.
Just makes me question one thing......is it another changeling...or was she a sleeper agent all along???
Right when I was thinking "Wow, we're at the climax already? This feels kinda sudden." we get another wrinkle in the story.
Not sure how I knew, but as soon as 'Starlight' walked in, I felt an alarm go off in my mind. I'll just blame good instincts, because I can't see any evidence that might have clued me in.
Dun dun dun!
Oh god I'm so excited dude! I can't wait for that awesome new chapter to come out!!!
When is that by the way?
Oooh. Bad idea, pal
Wow, so friendly
It's not easy trying to be the stoic one
Hah!
Excellent response
Not like Sickle needs any weapons to be dangerous... not even mentioning Echo
Yay, enthusiasm!
Aaaahahahaha! Busted!
But of course that immediately confirms to Dazzle that Whisper is indeed the same person
Gah. Kind of suspected this from the lack of greeting. At least she survived...
lawl. Screw the mood!
Sure, sure
Sickle sense tingling! Somewhere, somehow, Whimper is embarrassed!
Ooh. Interesting addition to the army.
Heehee.
Emphasis on "try to"
Changeling Queen Whisper and her Royal Guards
Someone you've known for years, suddenly acting like an enemy? Sounds like more changeling replacement...
It's about time
Goddammit. They got Star...
Remarks and corrections:
> “She’s our guest, so watch your fucking mouth you disrespectful cunt.”
Comma before "you disrespectful cunt".
> What does that leave them with.”
End this sentence on a question mark.
> Right now, they’re making their way to Mareford, who has the best fighting force in this part of the Wasteland
"to Mareford, [which] has the best fighting force"
> “We still have the rig we welded on to tow the other motorwagon, shouldn’t take much to modify it.”
Should be a semicolon before "shouldn’t".
> in order to save far more is a common cliche
"cliché"
> A good Infiltrator lures their target into a false sense of security
That should be "[lulls] their target into a false sense of security".
It’s not that complicated Star just went out to go work on the car with echo at the same time a changeling mimicked her and walked in.
I'm probably a bit late to comment on this, but I always thought it was spiracles or where the changeling slime was produced out of.
When the Gemstone ponies joined up I couldn't help but think of this song. I don't imagine many will make it back.
https://youtu.be/MRX4AtqNMRQ
Never heard it? It could have been at one of her friends...
But, assuming things are as seems most obvious to us readers...
...Whisper fell for her own ploy. But that's why it's so popular: it's goddamn effective.
...it seems like Serenity is desperate to try something like this. Whisper is no longer key to stopping the unfolding events, so going for her shouldn't be that effective. In fact, it may be counterproductive.
...it's a suicide mission. For fairly skilled personnel. Which leads me back to the desperation point.
Sickle probably noticed what I noticed... 'Starlight' didn't respond to Sickle's comment like she normally do
You really love trying too kill of the good ponies dont ya surprised you didnt have the changling kill Starlight
11295424
It's basically a clandestine war at this point, and the changelings hit with a major advantage. Would kind of weaken their threat if they launched an op with every advantage in their favor yet didn't manage to cause some serious damage. Serenity hadn't done much directly before this. At this point, it was time for them to act. In setting, because it was in their best interests to cripple any offensive against them. Narratively, because it demonstrates just how dangerous Serenity can be and how lop-sided the fight will turn out if they aren't able to force an overt resolution. That was my reasoning, anyway.
As for Starlight, she wasn't a target because she's of no strategic importance to Serenity. An assassin targeting her means an assassin not targeting someone else. Someone who's probably a lot more important to the conflict than what is essentially just some random pony.
Holy shit this ending makes me feel nauseous. Might've fallen if I wasn't already lying down