Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #33 · 5:00pm Oct 17th, 2022
One major advantage of having a hefty backlog of publishable reviews (if obviously nothing like the several months and million-odd words that PaulAsaran stockpiles), is that it gives me the bandwidth to do other Fimfiction things. Ideally writing my own stuff, though there’s no accounting for having the optimal drive all the time. More obviously, it also means I can pitch with others. The odd bout of pre-reading or editing, for sure. But also contest judging. Evidently FoME has a screw loose, because he accepted my volunteering to help judge for this year’s October Contest, the Ancestral Tribute one.
And boy, is it a lot of entries. 19 entries alone, more than half the total, came over the weekend in the last two days. What looked like a contest generating not much interest, maybe limping its way to 20 entries all told, ballooned at the end to 31 eligible stories (a few were disqualified), and over 220K in words. Which gives me extra reason to be thankful, because despite doing my best to keep up, I’ve only read half the entries and barely 30% of the word count (lots of 10K stories over the weekend). I don’t know yet if I’ll make reviews out of all these fics down the line for Monday Musings here, but I absolutely will have to for some, otherwise my backlog here will be on life support when all is said and done.
31 entries may seem small, but given this year is on track to have about 1K and change less fics than last year, keeping level in fic output with last year’s FoME October contest is no small feat. MLP fanfic continues to purr along.
Regardless, even among the fifteen-odd fics I’ve read already, lots of solid work, especially if you’re intrigued in seeing non-parental aspects to parents in the world of MLP. Though geez, Well worth a browse to see if any fics there interest you, no need to wait for results and winners! Especially if you like Twilight Velvet, she’s in like 38% of them. I never realised until now how popular Twilight’s parents were, with 540+ and 340+ fics to their name, well ahead of the 2nd place among the Mane 6, the Apple parents (at 141 and 96, respectively). Makes some sense, especially off the old kind-of officially supported headcanon of Velvet being a fiction author (I don’t doubt far more of Night Light’s fics are as a supporting player to her then vice versa). Of course, Granny Smith is the highest parent easily at 951 fics, but she actually appears in more than 3 episodes, so you know.
Meanwhile, my own private corner for evaluating Ponyfic continues chugging along. If you want something a little heavier on the fluff (for some fics) and able to incorporate any MLP character and any aspect of their role, you’ve come to the right place!
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
Pistols At Dawn by naturalbornderpy
Dream A Dream by TCC56
Practice Makes Perfect by Monochromatic
The Council of Friendship by DrakeyC
The Cost Of Life by Softy8088
Weekly Word Count: 34,533 Words
Pistols At Dawn by naturalbornderpy
Genre: Comedy/Random
Luna, Celestia, Twilight, Rarity, Royal Guard
2,930 Words
March 2018Reread
Celestia has already been through reenacting many things Luna missed during her millennium away. Enough to fill a book – literally. When Luna uncovers another, the tradition of settling grievances at dawn via pistols, she is determined to experience this for herself. Even if it means searching endlessly for a grievance to justify it, or worse, making one.
Pure goofy silliness, the mock seriousness of Luna’s drama ramped way up to eleven, and the contrast of everypony around her either taking it super gravely (the Royal Guard, her eventual opponent), nipping it in the bud (Celestia) or paying it no heed at all (Twilight) makes for quite a peppy and light-on-its-hooves little comedy. Even before the ending makes it funnier and sweeter and re-contextualises it with a pure wonder and joy (yes, seriously), the fic is simply too good-natured and innocent for the context of what Luna’s doing to ever come across as more than silly hijinks.
That’s all there is to this, but the snappy pacing and decent array of side jokes in most scenes makes it skip by with pleasant abandon. Perfect for curling up with smile-inducing silliness for a few minutes.
Rating: Pretty Good
Dream A Dream by TCC56
Genre: Drama
Rarity, Luna
8,324 Words
August-September 2022
Princess Luna is very nearly done with her retirement alongside Celestia. All that remains now is hoofing over the duties of dream patrolling to another. Upon learning she is the choice for the role, Rarity is equal parts astounded and honoured, but upon learning the reason for the choice, she is less so. For it concerns a part of her past, a shared experience with Luna, that she has done her best to forget.
It takes immense restraint to take the Nightmare Rarity arc from the comics*, extrapolate a connection between Rarity and Luna from it, and then avoid turning it into a tepid pile of angst. TCC56, naturally, has such restraint, and while the fic doesn’t short-change discussing that aspect openly, it shares equal space with playful, light-without-feeling-frothy dialogue as Luna explains what she feels Rarity should do, and then has some practice with her. And even when the talk turns to a past Rarity would rather have forgotten, it’s kept level and justifiably tense and emotional.
Carrying us through all this is TCC56’s usual writing finesse, playful drifting from casual emotional manipulation of the reader to imagery to little coy asides to bundles of wit in the characters and the prose. It’s a fic that can have a brisk enough pace all while remembering to breathe with the reader. The dream visuals in the opening are most vivid on that front, but they remain frequent enough throughout that, though the fic is technically a “two heads talking” story, it never falls victim to the failings of such fics.
The second chapter does lose the needle a little on this, both for being less economical and focused, but also for feeling somewhat less organic in its flow, less controlled. Or perhaps just less assured. But for the fic’s goals, that the only thing to hold against it; the relationship and chemistry between Rarity and Luna here is quite beautiful, and the fic makes me totally ignore having to deal not only with Twilight’s ascension, but the royal sisters’ retirement (and also magic devices to pass on the princess’ duties). Any fic that can not be hindered by its connection to those canon elements is truly something.
Rating: Really Good
* You’d be forgiven for missing it, given the fic lacks the MLP Comic series tag, or the Nightmare Rarity character tag. Must be an oversight on TCC56’s part, it can’t be for spoilers, as the description and cover art makes the Nightmare Rarity connection clear.
Practice Makes Perfect by Monochromatic
Genre: Romance/Slice of Life
Twilight, Rarity
1,145 Words
April 2019Reread
Right on the heels of asking Rarity out, Twilight has learnt that not only did Rarity like her too, but was nervous about asking her out, down to a confession she’d been working on. Twilight finds this most distressing, even upsetting.
First Monochromatic RariTwi fluff here? Apparently so. If you’re not familiar with her work, this is her OTP, and in her shorter works at least, there is rarely much, if any, justification or setup for the ship, beyond the odd bit of flirting where one or both ponies rattle off why they like the other. The good news is Mono is more than efficient enough to make this work, and in the decent amount of her fics I’ve read, they’ve worked, to the point they suffice equally well for me, a non-shipping ghost, and have broadly convinced me of RariTwi. At least, I’m usually positively disposed towards it.
Obviously a fic this short has little else to offer, with Rarity, being the pro she is, having to assure Twilight, in her own way, that Twilight’s muddled confession is every bit as meaningful as the numerous rehearsed ones she herself was working on. Just that and lines so fluffy you’re in danger of sinking into them.
Day at the office for Mono then. You already know if this is for you, and if you’ve never read a fix of Mono’s, this is a good starting point, being as short as it is, though many of her other one-shots that take place in an AU with Twilight as Princess Rarity’s bodyguard have moderate substance and story content on top of the fluff, if that’s more your speed.
Rating: Decent
The Council of Friendship by DrakeyC
Genre: Comedy/Random
Mane 6, Spike
18,601 Words
May 2014-November 2017Reread
Fresh on the heels of her new title as Princess of Friendship, Twilight calls her friends to found a Council of Friendship, where they shall discuss on a regular basis matters pertaining to spreading her teaching across Equestria and helping others on matters of friendship. Turns out running a government with your best friends may not be as smooth as she anticipated.
One part political satire with no leaning other than eliciting humour, one part deconstruction of the show’s governmental system and the characters’ capabilities in leadership roles, all part hi-jinks. It’s not especially evident, as while this is Random, it’s barely enough to justify the tag. Thus, most of it plays the heightened situations straight, or at least, as straight as they can be when Twilight is increasingly frustrated at her friends’ indifference/slackness to her goal. It does lead to the fic feeling sedate, at least more so as it goes on (this is one of those fic that is loosely connected one-shots updated as the author was struck with inspiration, and it shows, with the first two written at the start being the strongest and the last two that build off of Season 6/7 straining pervasively).
Which is not to say this is lacking in humour. You can expect everything from Fluttershy showing insight at random moments, to Spike being utterly fed up with being ignored despite being promised his requests will get listened to, to Twilight straining to reach for useful things for them to do, to a fun intrusion from Discord, to Celestia and Luna openly admitting they don’t agree with the democracy system the Castle favours for Twilight over their effective monarchy, and plenty more. Certainly, one needs to be willing to role with show deconstruction constrained by not challenging the status quo.
It’s a pleasingly goofy read, though one often caught between randomness and playing things straight in a manner that muffles some of the comedy and leaves it feeling rote, especially as it proceeds (the first two chapters in isolation would be a rating higher, and I recommend those folks who are unsure read just those two). That probably makes it sound bad, so rest assured, it’s a read I enjoyed, even on this reread. It just fades from memory awfully quick and feels like a rather scattershot approach to this topic of comedy.
Rating: Decent
The Cost Of Life by Softy8088
Genre: Dark/Sad
Twilight, Shining Armor, Celestia
3,533 Words
May 2013
Twilight’s body has failed her. Without a vital organ transplant, she has no hope of survival. The catch is, she has a mutated protein in her bloodstream, and the new organ will be rejected unless it too carries it. When a donor with the right match finally becomes available, it will show how far some will go to save others. And on top of losing a life, ethics may be the biggest casualty.
Making the mundane powerful in its mix with the fantasy turns out to be the core strength of this story. The central dilemma of what one will do to save another at the cost of themselves is the main one, and coupled with the story’s eventual outcome that I seriously doubt anyone will predict, the perfect kind of “third option from nowhere to a two-choice dilemma” answer, it’s bound to debate a lengthy string of ethical debates in one’s mind. Or at least leave them stunned by what they just read. Especially with the mix of different emotional reactions at the end, both seem and implied as forthcoming.
The delivery of this material is competent, wasting no time getting through the setup at the start, with Twilight doing everything she can to not let this happen, every argument being neutered. In fact, it’s almost too economical and efficient, at least with a sterile tone to much of it. It fits the subject matter, but leaves it a bit distant for much of the fic until the end comes along. At least, that’s why I think it feels a bit compromised for much of its running time.
Only a bit, mind. This is still a potent dig at the area of fatal organ donation. Sombre topic, ethics of giving one’s life for another, but if you think you’re game for an issue like that, this is your jam.
Rating: Pretty Good
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 0
Really Good: 1
Pretty Good: 2
Decent: 2
Passable: 0
Weak: 0
Bad: 0
Rarity as the Mistress of Dreams. Oh my.
I am, at the very least, curious.
Looks like some formatting errors snuck their way into your review.
5693000
Thanks, my friend. Lesson learned: lay off the caffeine, it doesn't agree with a phantasmal digestive system. Or rushed blog assembly.
5692999
You should be: it is a TCC56 fic, and having read it, I think if anyone is curious, they are bound to quite like it. Go for broke, my friend!
This was actually something I debated about for a while. I eventually opted to leave the tag off because while Nightmare Rarity is discussed, she doesn't actually appear in the story.
Also, I'm glad you enjoyed! The second chapter is indeed a bit weaker, owing to the way the story was created. (I give a brief paragraph on that in my most recent quarterly author's review.) Still, pretty pleased at how it came out and that people are enjoying it.
Well, a couple more to add to the list!
I read Cost of Life and gave it a Thumbs Up, but doing so made FiMFiction retract all the since-deleted accounts' ratings and bring its total Like count from 613 down to 610.
Uh… Oops? :P
5693026
You know, that's actually quite reasonable. Still a case where one could go either way, but I can see it. And the "MLP Comic" tag would only be worth including with the Nightmare Rarity one; on its own, it would be a little off.
I saw that yeah, and it's all perfectly valid, what with Chapter 1 being written a year prior and the second one added recently to justifiably tie it up, written pretty much as you went. I think I read the fic and wrote this review before that blog came up, but in any case, one doesn't always want to include the author's stated reasoning for why something is in every review. I certainly like doing that (for I like reading it), but it can get repetitive fast if not maintained.
Also, heh, I see my reviews are now getting truncated endorsements in your fic's long descriptions.
Have I reached the point of being a semi-recognised face and reviewer/barometer of quality around the site? Starting to, it seems. 
Oh, and just because I'll probably get cold feet about saying it elsewhere (I still find myself lurking outside of my own reviews a lot of the time), I've been reading your fic First Hoof Account pretty much since it started publishing last year, and I've been loving it. Your depiction of a cunning, manipulative Sunset, moving between her plans and orchestrating those around her, capturing her unrelentingly cynical inner voice, steadfast in assuming what she wants is something she should have, the varying attitudes of the ponies around her, and how the pony she's using as a tool is, very slowly, beginning to affect her… chef's kiss, my friend, chef's kiss to all of it. I hope it doesn't end up too long, because I'm looking immensely forward, once it's done, to reading it in a binge again soon after and giving it a glowing review here, and length will naturally increase the wait there. But at the same time, it's a mastery of the slow burn, and I know you're using this fic to practice a slower fic, so I have no doubt whatever length it ends up at will be the right one.
So, yeah, just to let you know you've got another reader hook, line and sinker for it.
5693030
That can happen? Huh. I mean, it makes sense, I'll bet the site's ratings database and algorithm is only set to recalculate its aggregate rating when a new user votes, to save on maintenance.
I wouldn't worry about it; as this must happen every time someone votes on a fic that hasn't been voted on in a while, it's only dropping alongside many others. Plus, on the rating scale, the difference between 613:10 and 610:10 is so minuscule as to not be worth sweating bullets about even for the fanatics. And the fic should pick those three missing likes back in… half a year? That seems about right.
Also, this deleting can have benefits too. A couple of months back, a dislike vanished from one of my stories, and I'll bet it was for the reasons you cite, a fresh like making the system realise one dislike was from a deleted account. Not bad at filtering out the odd bad dislike, no?
5693037
Yeah, pretty sure that’s what it is. I've seen it happen before, for what it's worth; I just thought it was kinda funny that it happened here and now.
Lucky; back in either April or May of '21, two accounts spam-downvoted all of my stories and every single comment I'd made on my profile page up to that point. On one hand, I really don't mind, but on the other… could you at least tell me why my mere presence is such an apparent affront to you?
Again, I'm really not that bothered by it; it's just an old story I found an excuse to tell.
Just so long as the organ in question is not her fucking brain yes I have read this before
5693036
You are far too kind.
Okay, that's going on the list right away then! An author I've been entertained by in the past, too.