Recovery is Pony Horror · 1:41am Oct 7th, 2022
So, in my last blogs I talked about recovering from the hardest burnout I've ever gone through, a debt accrued over seven years. I realized most of that really was the drive to monetize my work. It shaped everything I had been thinking about my writing for years, now, in subtle and unsubtle ways. Becoming financially stable through other means let me massage all those knots and work something out.
I said I'd come back to art when I had something I really needed to express, and apparently it was a pony story. There was an idea I had that I couldn't make work with anything other than this world, and Twilight Sparkle. So, that's what I wrote. Maybe I'll work out how to write it for a general audience some day but, honestly? It'll be because I wanted to see if I could tell it with photographs.
I think it is the most creative thing I've ever written. I think it is the most conceptually rich, the most vivid, the weirdest idea I've ever sat down and followed through on. I can't remember the last time I've ever been so proud of a piece of mine. I feel liberated.
This is a story about the intrinsic horror of the mind-body connection, and of what we lose by becoming better.
congratulations on being freeer!
Even the cover art is terrifying. I'm in!
I'm sorry, there appears to have been a mix-up; I ordered a MrNumbers story, NOT a full bottle of extra-strength Cynewulf.
... I didn't say stop.
Not my jam, according to the label, but it's from you, so....
5691385
I mean, it's specifically the body dysmorphia that comes from when you stare into your reflection long enough that you can think to yourself "Oh, fuck, I live in there". But it's really meant to be horror playing up on the very specific idea that you - your thoughts, your mind, your intelligence - are being made by a physical blob of meat. And that damage to your physical body can destroy your mind and self.
5691258
I'm always interested in your opinions on things, but this was specifically one of those cases where accurate labeling felt like mislabeling if that makes sense? Like, the literal applications of those terms are correct, but they're used very differently to the associations you usually form from them?
So I'm especially interested if that holds true from someone who distances themselves from those usual connotations.
5691517
Okay, now I'm intrigued! I'll bump this up my list!
It was a hell of a story and while I find it difficult to describe or form coherent opinions about it, I'm glad you feel better for creating it. Congratulations, you have every reason to be proud.
5691532
I read it last night. I recommend it.