) Disney saw fit to re-release The Phantom Menace in cinemas for one week for the film’s 25th anniversary (only two weeks off). It almost slipped my mind until today, hence Monday Musings being a few hours later (advantage of a Bank Holiday, peeps – a freeGhost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #7 · 5:00pm Apr 18th, 2022
Fluttershy: "Oh my… See, this is why we don't like to invite Applejack over for cards night. She makes Rainbow Dash's poker face look believable. And that's saying something. That's why we suggested she pitch in with Ghost Mike's Ponyfic reviews this week. Blunt honesty there is the name of the game."
So… funny story. When Ep. 5 of Tell Your Tale came out last week, despite saying I wouldn’t go and do more reviews, I thought maybe I could try mini commentary-as-I-watch-the-thing reviews. That style’s worked for others, and I’m not alien to it myself either. Certainly, it would be far more fun to read then the plot regurgitation and notes on specific episodes strengths and weaknesses I used there, and get around how the shorts are much of a muchness that blends together except in incidentals. At only 300 seconds to observe, surely it would be sustainable in stamina, for me and the reader. And best part, they’d be short, short enough I could just attach them as bonuses to this post, getting more eyeballs on them than as individual or compilation posts.
About that last part… This one came out at almost 2,000 words. Yeah. Not sustainable. If I can’t get these out dramatically shorter, they won’t stick, for me sanity or the reader’s. That said, I’ve still gone and placed this one at the post’s bottom. So scroll down to the embedded video to enjoy Tell Your Tale: Commentary Corner, if that’s what you’re here for. Or use it as a visual mark to skip if you’re only here for the fic reviews. Whether this’ll stick around next week and thereafter… that’ll depend on if I can be far more selective on what I note. We’ll see.
Another piece of food for thought – should Generation Five fics stay confined to review weeks of just those fics, or get intermingled with FiM and EqG fics going forward? It’ll depend on whether we start seeing an uptick in fic with Make Your Mark, of course. I’ll certainly mix the generations up eventually, the question is just whether to do it instantly, or wait a while. In any case, I’m sure another Generation Five-themed week will precede Make Your Mark in six weeks time.]
Okay, fic review time. Just six stories this week, though one’s on the longer side just enough to keep the word count hovering about 20K.
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
No Words Required by HapHazred
A Cozy Parent-Teacher Conference by GravityDefyingCoffeeMug
Twilight Sparkle Has a Type by errant
Prank Master by Quoterific
It was Beauty that Killed the Beast by Noble Thought
The Diary Of An Evil Pony by TheBrianJ
Weekly Word Count: 23,206 Words
No Words Required by HapHazred
Genre: Slice of Life/Romance
Applejack, Rainbow Dash
3,705 Words
June 2015Listened to via Scribbler's reading
Over a year ago, Applejack gave Rainbow Dash a deck of cards. Since then, their competitive nature has led to them playing dozens upon dozens of games. Yet tonight, Dash shows up for another bout when Applejack is beside herself worrying about Apple Bloom’s operation tomorrow. Now’s really not the best time for this. But is a strategic bout of wits really what Rainbow’s here to do?
HapHazred challenged themselves with this story to have no dialogue, but where two characters are still interacting. Contrary to expectations for both author-set challenges and dialogue-less stories, this actually works. HapHazred avoids alternate “cheats” to get across dialogue, and the end effect is like an animated short film (except, you know, in written form and without medium displacement). At no point does the characters not speaking feel forced.
It’s enough to paper over the story being quite plain beyond this storytelling gimmick. It’s split into three scenes of descending length, each swapping character perspective, and this is fine. But truth be told, despite winning characterisation, especially for Rainbow Dash, there just isn’t much here. Rainbow comes to cheer Applejack up in a way only she can, and after some hiccups, it works. That’s it. The first half revolving around three rounds of blackjack is probably the best, just due to having more happening than the fluff in the rest. The only other real surprise is how mild the AppleDash is, only coming into play at the story’s end, and even then only in a way that suggests a relationship might be possible, not outright confirming if there already is one (truthfully, the text really leans away from this reading).
In any case, No Words Required is a pleasantly diverting AppleDash friendship with a touch of romance at the end, given a boost by a no-dialogue gimmick executed marvellously. I suspect fans of ships, and especially this one, may get even more out of it.
Rating: Pretty Good
A Cozy Parent-Teacher Conference by GravityDefyingCoffeeMug
Genre: Comedy, Slice of Life (with Profanity)
Tirek, Cozy Glow
2,724 Words
February 2022
It was bad enough that Tirek had to be called in to meet with Cozy’s teacher. Having to dress up ‘presentably’ and watch what he said while posing as Cozy’s father just made it all the more insufferable. So he’s really not in the mood to be told there's something wrong with Cozy's approach to her class assignments, especially when it’s so obviously better than everybody else's.
This story is really three things rolled into one. There’s a (largely in the background) element of how the Legion of Doom operates in the world of Equestria Girls, and much of it is only implied, or left to the viewer’s imagination. Saying they’re criminals, much like their FiM counterparts are villains, is enough to be getting on with. Then there’s a none-too thinly veiled attack against the schooling system, which would certainly come across as overdone were it not so seamlessly integrated into the main element. That being the teacher getting more and more stunned into silence as the full extent of what Tirek considers ‘good parenting’ comes into view.
For all that the Legion of Doom plotline in the show went to hell, the basic character chemistry between the trio, at least before they started putting their plan into motion, was entertaining. This fic captures how Tirek and Cozy play off each other wonderfully, transplanted to a different setting and adjusted accordingly but still recognisably familiar. The other two elements mentioned above are well-integrated, leaving it feeling like a peek into a well-established world and set of characters. I’m sure many people will want more.
There’s not much to complain about – this was funny, used its arguments well (Brothers Grimm is name dropped at one point), and got decent mileage out of its somewhat macabre streak. The pacing and dialogue are somewhat stilted, but this is only a minor hindrance.
Rating: Pretty Good
Twilight Sparkle Has a Type by errant
Genre: Romance/Slice of Life
Twilight, Rarity
3,348 Words
February 2020Reread
Listened to via Cloud9's reading
NOTE: I remember seeing the cover art commissioned for this fic’s reading floating around, yet I didn’t know I’d already read it before until after I’d listened to it! So it is basically a fresh reading.
I decided to use the reading's cover art for the review, as the story's cover art is awfully spoiler-y (if you can, try and avoid looking at it when clicking on the fic to read it, or just opt for the reading instead).
Plus, this looks exquisite. Oh, if only more authors swapped their cover art out for that commissioned for a reading!
Twilight is frustrated at her non-existent love life, a constant since… well, as long as she can remember. After much hemming and hawing, she finally asks Rarity over tea who nopony has ever asked her out. The answer is going uncomfortably, but explainable at first: Twilight has always either kept to herself and not being easily approachable, being the student of Equestria’s ruler, or being royalty herself. Then Rarity drops the news that a common public perception is Twilight having a certain type she goes for.
Though this is a fic that largely writes itself, especially in this fandom, I don’t want to take away from its polish and choice of direction. It doesn’t keep itself purely to laughs or embarrassment on Twilight’s part as Rarity goes through her points either: Twilight grows a little more okay with this being laid out on the table, and by the end has gotten advice from Rarity on where to proceed. It’s a nice touch to a fic that otherwise rests on two modest, can’t-miss concepts: embarrassment on Twilight’s part for an interest she may or may not have already known being laid bare, and a playful deconstruction of certain elements in both the show and fandom. The fic delivers on both, and doesn’t do a whole lot more.
Not that it needs to: this is a well-paced story with biting dialogue on Rarity’s part, and it zips by its 3.3K words, without even registering it’s just a talk (interspersed with “is Twilight really this dense? Of course she is. Well, here goes nothing” thoughts on Rarity’s part as only she can). Those who like Rarity being super-savvy and smart, and revealing all, will also greatly enjoy this. And, really, who doesn’t like that aspect of Rarity?
Rating: Pretty Good
Prank Master by Quoterific
Genre: Comedy/Slice of Life
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, Applejack
1,781 Words
March 2022
Applejack’s more tongue-tied then a snake who gave lasso wrangling a go at the rodeo when Rainbow Dash shows up to her place covered from mane to hoof in pink dye. After dispensing with the required laughs and providing a sympathy cider, she settles down to hear how Dash got to this stage.
A very simple, quick little tale, alternating between the present-day and the past events. There’s some nice touches, like Applejack not continuing to laugh at her friend's expense after her first reaction, and some of the jokes and gags are quite good (namely the townponies’ reaction to Dash’s fate). And the early acknowledgment of the close rapport Dash and Pinkie have as prankers, before the former’s competitive nature lands her in hot water, was appreciated too.
It’s still a basic and simple fic, and has some odd choices in prose specifics (constant perspective changes alongside timeline swaps at weird moments) that leave it feeling less than the sum of its parts. Part and parcel for many of Quoterfics’ fics. But there’s enough amusing parts here to make this not a washout, especially if you fancy Dash being disgruntled at having crossed Pinkie and paying the price.
Rating: Passable
This fic had a second chapter added later due to reader demand. For my money, while mostly more of the same, it does unhinge the structural elegance the first chapter had and comes across as more frivolous than a fic that was pretty frivolous to begin with. I’m leaving the above rating as-is, but I suspect had I read this fic when both chapters were there from the start, it might have inched down a tier.
It was Beauty that Killed the Beast by Noble Thought
Genre: Sad (Alternate Universe)
Cheerilee, Rarity
1,958 Words
August 2014Reread
Ponyville is a small town, gossip travels fast, and personal loss affects everypony to some degree. The aftermath of Spike’s greed-induced rampage through town has left ripples only just starting to fade, yet some remain more affected. Amid all this, Cheerilee is reminded of the hat she gifted Spike which was returned to her, and resolves to both give it back, and to help those with the closest bonds move on.
Sad fics are always uncertain, as are alternate endings to an episode. Happily, this delivers on both fronts. The sadness is a subdued kind, where few are wallowing in misery but are more subtly affected, already moving on in some ways but not quite there yet. It’s respectful, and feels reasonably realistic to how people react and move on in such situations. That goes double for being an alternate ending to “Secret of my Excess”, one that’s respectful of it, and isn’t really “about” that episode’s themes and story arc, for the most part. Just uses it as a springboard for a little reflective piece. And spotlighting it through an outsider like Cheerilee who nonetheless has a connection and relationship to the other characters gives it space for different angles to tackle this one from.
A quick, subdued little piece with sadness that feels legitimate but also bittersweet in the end, and thus should work even for those normally wary of the genre.
Rating: Pretty Good
The Diary Of An Evil Pony by TheBrianJ
Genre: Slice of Life (and Drama, untagged)
Fleur de Lis, Fancy Pants
8,312 Words
March 2013Listened to via Scribbler's reading
A unicorn conmare has just finished her last successful seducing-based robbery of a naive pony. Her next locale? Canterlot. Her target? A pony named Fancy Pants. Rich, well-known and single, perfect for her.
Her alias? Fleur de Lis.
I’ll admit, I’d passed on this fic in the past, because of its gimme subversive concept (Fleur being a grifter with Fancy as her mark) and the tricky gimmick of being told almost exclusively through letters. And if I’m being frank, it’s not the best letter-written fic I’ve read – you have to accept that Fleur is writing things in her letters nopony in her position would ever write, and after the “dear diary” intro of each one, that they are basically inner monologues.
That’s just about the only criticism I can bring against this Royal Canterlot Library-nominated fic, though, which is otherwise exemplary. Many in the comments have noted how it was immersive and enjoyable despite the path and end result being predictable and stick, and I will second those folks. Reading about Fleur’s defences getting gradually sanded away as she works her way further and further into Fancy’s life is as unsurprising and comforting as a well-worn pair of loafers.
The scope and intimacy of the story is kept tight, focused on Fleur and her goal with only the occasional side detail as to things like her past, how she gets her targets, etc. This also applies to how we don’t really get to “know” Fancy, given the viewpoint, and yet he still emerges as a character. Usage of a few canon events as key plot-turning points (or the funniest moment in an otherwise-serious story) also leapt out at me. And though the letter entries carry flaws, the actual narrative content, and how they show Fleur’s emotional state while staying clear of just regurgitating information blandly, is worthy of praise.
That’s about the end state of this one. An easily-predictable story that’s no worse off for it, which reaches some intense emotional states for the character and reader, and uses the letter format, if not excellently, very well. As long as one doesn’t expect a masterpiece of the form, they’ll get a very satisfying piece here.
Rating: Really Good
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 0
Really Good: 1 Pretty Good: 4
Decent: 0 Passable: 1
Weak: 0
Bad: 0
Tell Your Tale: Commentary Corner
Starting right in with a musical number, following one pony into a building two pegasi entered. Didn’t take long for Pipp to leave her mark on Maretime Bay with this mane beauty salon. Guess Rarity’s business savviness crossed generations too. Pipp wastes no time getting this newcomer settled.
And the rest of the Mane 5 are here too! We saw some stallions in the entrance shot, but nice to see Hitch getting a swift new manestyle, being apprehensive beforehand but liking it. That’s probably the most respectful moment he’s had thus far. Of course, Zipp is avoiding her sister’s dogged attempts to get her in a chair.
Okay, tapping a mirror to cycle between hairstyle options for Izzy. It’s got just enough of a fantastical edge that it doesn’t feel too annoyingly modern-app. You take what you get.
The salon’s app review system only has three ratings corresponding to one, three or five stars. This simplification is probably to make them read well on phones that kids/the fandom will mostly be watching these shorts on, but yeah, not the best.
Now we have the clip from the trailer that shows Pipp’s two main backup staff dancing and singing along with her. Between the stallion's golden wings and guitar pendant necklace, and the mare's gradient orange-to-pink mane and… having horseshoes painted with a pair of quavers… (yeah, not a fan) they feel too visually specific to be mere background ponies. Wonder how prominent they’ll be going forward.
Seems the whole store is decked out in music-themed things. The stage has playback button textures, the runaway is set against an oversized cassette player with speakers. Accurate for Pipp, though a bit too obviously plugging a real playset, even if it hadn’t already been revealed.
5-star ratings really rolling in, though with mane styling turnaround spanning mere seconds, I’d be impressed too, even as hairless as I am. Zipp’s in full flee mode now her sister’s locked on, the rest of the Mane 5 are chiming in for backup vocals (though Izzy might want to pick a style that doesn’t prohibit visibility next time), stallions are flexing their new coiffures… things are looking pretty good!
And the musical number screeches to a halt when the mare at the start leaves a “meh” 3-star rating. I can sympathise with Pipp holding her tongue and thanking Posey (of course she’s called Posey, obvious G1 nod is obvious) for the review. Gotten the odd “eh” reaction without further comment in my time, and they’re always barbing after a string of positive reception. There’s a few not-half-bad comedy moments here with Posey freezing, pupils darting back and forth, Pipp’s eyes twitching, Posey smiling sheepishly, then leaving Zipp-style. Typical as it is, it’s certainly closer to this webseries’ best-executed visual timing moments than the worst.
Stunned solid. Phyllis walks in, and I mirrored everypony’s gasps (easily my biggest bodily reaction thus far in Tell Your Tale). My first thought? “Dang, did not expect her to pop up this soon. Is my G5 fic going to get jossed before the proper show’s even started?” Because her tight frown, and everypony’s horror, does not make it seem like she’s on good terms with many ponies here. Let’s see how she’s characterised.
Of course, not too surprising in retrospect that she’s here to try some mane styling. Garbled background dialogue vaguely suggests her poor reviews of other places have shut them down (YouTube’s auto-captioning only goes so far). Guess her opinion still carries much authority. The indoor Western tumbleweed would agree with the tension. Phyllis’ voice is not very accurate (and she was previously played by a veteran actress, who also voiced Marlin’s wife in Finding Nemo, of all things), but let’s see if she stands on her own by the end.
Pipp tries to plug the shop’s name, but Phyllis cuts across with a laugh, saying they’ll see about her being the new stylist. Don’t worry Pipp, YouTube’s video title has your promotion covered. Given how presentable and stylish Phyllis keeps herself, her having high standards for mane styling is a reasonable first use of her character.
“What can I do for you?”
“Surprise me.”
Really channelling the “serving the health inspector” feeling, aren’t they? Pipp’s lockjaw is understandable, especially as Phyllis goes on about her prior reviews on this premises. Seems “Free All You Can Eat Pizza” is a lie. Pipp is so nervous by this casual gossip that Phyllis’ “‘Hair today’? More like ‘Out of Business Tomorrow’!” quip makes her shear off part of the back curl, creating a bald spot.
Halfway in now, and I’m sure you too are predicting Pipp will, after a moment of self-doubt, improvise and make some new style/fix, which Phyllis will love after a moment of tension, giving a great, toy-promoting image for this place. Not being predictable isn’t a strong suit of this format. Well, “It Isn’t the Mane Thing About You” has set a franchise precedent for this kind of moral.
Pipp’s so upset she runs out, Zipp in chase, leaving Sunny, even the energetic and improvising sort, to pop some cucumber slices on Phyllis’ eyes. Over her glasses, naturally. And Sunny spins that they’ll help with wrinkles. Not unless they work through glasses and a centimetre of air to the skin, dear.
Not much to say about Pipp being down in the dumps and Zipp reminding her of her prior confidence and swagger by pointing out all the prior delighted customers on the streets, down to prior customer Posey growing to like her new mane, though fleeing in embarrassment at a compliment on her new hairdo. Condensed down that much, this part of the formula remains pure whiplash. It’s given the most marginal of boosts by Zipp avoiding Pipp earlier and coming to her aid here, though it would have rang much stronger in a longer episode. I’ll try to not harp too much on the scripts not being adapted to the runtime, but it is an unavoidable factor while watching. This episode doesn’t even seem to have a moral or takeaway, beyond a moment of doubt and getting back up again. Another hallmark of rushed or not-thought-out kids’ fluff, missing a concrete lesson and thinking that’s enough. It’s exactly that kind of routine recycling which leads to characters lacking proper personalities and coming across as plot vehicles.
Oh dear. Sunny is a mare of many talents, but mane styling ain’t one of them. Seems the other stylists are too afraid of Phyllis’ reputation to help. Rule No. 43 of pony towns; only main characters can be brave enough to pitch in, everypony else follows a “scared unless ordered otherwise” mantra. Ask Ponyville’s Flower Girls. And Phyllis’ lists of prior stores were just asking for poor reviews. Though that Golden Tree of Knowledge sounds like a better story than the one we’re getting.
Cut musical reprise montage of Pipp doing her thing to fix Phyllis’ rat’s nest. Well, Pipp does have experience from all those years of being a pop star. The flash of her cutie mark at finishing the job is so brief one might miss it, but it’s clear now they just do that when a pony excels at their talent, or at moments of extreme friendship. Could be a proper thing in the series, or totally unexplained and uncommented on.
I do like the visual of Sunny chewing on a nail heel, only for the mare stylist to zipp over and hooficure it back to perfection, while remaining ultra-nervous herself.
Exactly the same, huh. Shades of Twilight’s “I’ll just have my usual”. Pipp’s smug smirk as everypony else waits for Phyllis’ reaction suggests she’s that good at probing what a pony will like and balancing that with what looks good.
I give it 3 minutes before Phyllis realises her combover tapered off. Then again, probably no one will be brave enough to tell her. Hope Pipp’s rating app/website doesn’t allow for ratings to be changed! Though if Posey upgrades to a five-star, it’d mitigate the blow.
After a tepid but sincere thanks from Pipp to Sunny for covering and Zipp for being there for her, we get the thumbnail shot of Pipp’s delight. Zipp has voluntarily sat in a styling chair, paying off a moment at the end of the reprise where she got intrigued by her mane’s reflection in a mirror.
“Oh my pony.” These writers do not yet have a handle on the horse puns.
Pipp’s suggestions makes Zipp instantly regret her decision. Though they do include a mane-hawk. Honestly, not too far removed from the toothpaste-do, she’d probably like it. Though the pigtailed-with-bangs combination… hey, it’s an ending note. Also, these shorts really need a fade-to-black like the FiM or EqG shorts, the 0.4 second wait before the smash cut to credits remains too addled on sugar. Come on, Hasbro, a fade-to-black on a static image/repeating tweens is practically costless, and these shorts vary in length.
Okay, these credits actually do relist some of the Mane 5’s cast for background ponies, with Pipp and Izzy’s voice actors performing double duty. Lots of “random pony”. Guess DHX’s “[role] pony [number]” system didn’t carry over. And the two stylists are named Rocky (the pegasus male) and Jazz (the earth pony female). Continuing simpler names relative to G4.
This short was much better than A Home to Share at fusing a music number into its cramped runtime, telling a story somewhat suited to 300 seconds, even if the micro-pacing was still rushed and erratic. And, by lacking Nightmare Roomate’s poor Izzy characterisation and Sisters Take Flight’s lack of a plot, this sits with Zipp’s Flight School as the best of the shorts thus far. Or , more accurately, the least problematic. I think I actually incrementally prefer this – less making minor characters out to be idiots/lemmings, no flashback contradicting the inability to fly, Phyllis’ characterisation is within the ballpark of her personality in a way Zoom and Thunder’s absolutely were not. And while the social media-ness of it all still leaves me stone cold, there were fewer jokes that fell desperately flat, and a couple that even transcended technical malnourishment or their clichéd nature.
The events and characters as depicted here are still pure assembly line paper-thin fluff, the format of the scripts and animation still puts a low ceiling on the character and entertainment value, and the moments on the character’s doubt and getting back up again are as tiresomely rote as ever, target audience necessities be darned. But, you know… I won’t rule out the possibility of the shorts settling into a groove of being incrementally better than their start, if still hamstrung by the format. Not the worst place to land for what amounts to a mirror pool clone of “Spice Up Your Life”, and that episode isn’t a paragon of smart writing choices itself. The royal sisters focus thus far is even marginally successful, though it feels marketing driven, Pipp being “modern and relatable” for Generation Z.
Oh, final thoughts on Phyllis’ voice; it’s a vague fit for the character’s uptight, high-standards personality, though the more one-note snootiness does clash with her prior portrayal that could be more upbeat and layered. Course, she’s not supposed to be overtly likeable. Pretty clear by now that minimal casting/voice direction was given to characters beyond the Mane 5. Guess Haven voice matching closely was a happy accident. We’ll see how Phyllis fares going forward. Really hope Alphabittle (who we know is present thanks to toy reveals) fares okay, Hitch’s VA doesn’t inspire confidence there.
Twilight Sparkle Has a Type appears to be my kind of story.
The Diary Of An Evil Pony is one of those stories I feel like I should be more critical of, but I ended up liking it anyway.
As to the new episode, I liked it in general, even if it felt like they were trying too hard to make Pipp the new Rarity. Poor girl doesn't stand a chance against that level of class.
5651600
It is, 100%, your kind of story, to the degree that as I was proofing before posting earlier, I thought, "Hm, I'd be very surprised if that one doesn't grab PaulAsaran's attention like a Pinkie to a cupcake". You'll note I implied those more into Twilight/reformed unicorn antagonists ship fics, or satirical takes on such, will dig it more than I did. A good reviewer knows when to know what demographic a fic will most appeal to. Thankfully, it was plenty entertaining besides.
Very true – it certainly feels, after the fact, like it can't have been all that, due to the routine nature of it and its delivery, among other things. But there's minimal arguing with the investment and enjoyment level I got out of it. Enough to nudge it from Pretty Good to Really Good.
Couldn't comment on everything, but yes, it is alarming that the overt focus on Pipp thus far has mostly served to model her after Rarity. And here we were all most worried about Izzy becoming a Pinkie clone (Nightmare Roomate didn't provide enough evidence on that, but I suspect next week's episode will give us a good indication). It's especially alarming given the film straddled a good balance of the characters certainly being similar to the G4 Mane 6 in some aspects but different enough to feel like their own thing, even if they're not nearly as dynamic (yet). As ever, Make Your Mark in 5.5 weeks time will be the first proper judge.
wow that is a lot to say about a five-minute short c.c
5651668
And that’s the pared-down version. Didn’t mean to crank out almost 2K, it just came out as I was watching. And I can’t even say with a straight face that the short’s content justifies it.
I am sort of known in most walks of life for not being succinct when it comes to analysis/commentary. At least, I used to be – one thing I’m very glad for in these fic reviews is getting them out short and sweet every time now. A ghost learns and improves!
It might take a while to apply that same compactness to this stream-like commentary style, but I am determined to keep it shorter next week. At the bare minimum, a short that isn’t introducing a new location/playset and reintroducing a character, as this one did, will require less space. Hopefully.
Least the commentary’s entertaining! And comprehendible to someone like yourself who’s skipping watching the shorts altogether.
5651676
quite so! :D
I loved Twilight Sparkle Has a Type!