Short Hand: Metal Elephants

Twilight and Shepherd descended into a little explored part of the archives, below the main vaults.

Twilight: "This is essentially a large warehouse where the Princess and other mages cast stasis spells on whatever we found. Honestly, there's so much junk from your world here!"

Shepherd: "Hey, it's not just my world. A lot of those things had to have been from alternate Earths. Don't blame just my world!"

Twilight: "Sorry... Anyway, this section is known as the 'Metal Elephant Herd".

They came to several large objects, covered in tarps. Shepherd frowned.

Shepherd: "Metal Elephant Herd?"

Twilight: "Well that is how the discoverers described them. We now know they're some kind of large machines. There's over two dozen of them, along with other odds and ends-Like they came out of some kind of storehouse with gear and spare parts! I was hoping you could tell us what they are?"

Shepherd pulls the tarp off one of the "Metal Elephants". He gapes in amazement... And then grins.

Shepherd: "Oh yeah. If they're in as good of shape as they look? I might be able to do more than that..."

Some time later... When the Mane 6 are overdue from exploring the mountains, Shepherd heads to the area with some Royal Soldiers. They find a town, and Shepherd spies on it with his binoculars.

Shepherd: "... I can see a prison cell... There's Pinkie Pie's hair! I'd know it anywhere."

Metal Jacket: "That's good sir, but how are we supposed to get them out? All we've got is thirty ponies, and you! We're a small scouting force, we'd need to call in the reserves to take a town!"

Shepherd: "We can't risk it. Who knows what these guys would do to them? No, we need to try some overwhelming force..." grins "And thankfully, I have just the ticket!"

Starlight Glimmer had tried to get some sleep the night before. She was rudely awakened by some of her minions pounding on the door.

Starlight: "WHAT?!"

Minion: "S-Starlight! There's a-A few metal elephants coming up the mountain road!"

Starlight storms out of her house and glares.

Starlight: "What do you mean metal elephants-?!"

And a group of M4 Sherman Tanks drive up, while Shepherd sings something loudly over one of their speakers.

Shepherd: "Buh buh buh bahbahbah, buh bahbahbahbahbah, buh duh bah dahhhh~!"

Starlight: "... Oh... Oh buck."

Shepherd: "Hey! I'd like to speak to the leader of this village!"

Starlight: "You... You can't come into our town and just make demands!"

Shepherd: "Huh... Well before that. I have a joke. Knock knock."

Starlight: "Wha-?"

Shepherd: "Knock. Knock."

Starlight: scowl "... Who's there-?"

Shepherd: "H-E MOTHERFUCKER!"

The lead Sherman fires a round, blowing up an empty wagon. Starlight's followers take one look at that and flee for their lives.

Starlight: "WHAT?! NO! COME BACK!"

Shepherd: low voice "Good work, Metal Jacket. Perfect aiming!"

Metal Jacket: "Wait, we can aim? Well that makes things a lot easier!"

Shepherd: sigh "They sure do, buddy."

Comments

[Wild Zontars]

infogalactic.com/w/images/0/07/Elefant_USAOM-01.jpg

𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖋𝖆𝖓𝖙

[Spiritus Arcane]

Ponies Und Panzer...

[DreamKitsune]

Well, damn. When I read 'metal elephants' the first thing I thought of were these. How awesome would that have been?
static.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/1/16/AT-AT_2_Fathead.png

[Grahf]

5612870
nah I'd probably describe those as giant metal camels

[sykko]

I was kinda hoping that Shepard would have found where they keep the 'Mechs from the BattleTech universe and see him cream his pants as he stares up at a Timber Wolf.

Shepard: *over the loudspeakers of the Timber Wolf in his best Nicolai Malthus impression* Ponies of Our Town! I issue a batchall to your leader!

Starlight Glimmer: *stares confused* A what?!

Shepard: You refuse my batchall?! *turns her house into a pile of flaming wreckage with a single shot of an m-pulse laser(c)*

[Hazey Logic]

I'm proud of myself for guessing what these were.

[Dan]

5612869
CMC Sensha Do team, YAY!

[Dan]

5612870
It would be more Canon than Disney's heresy.

[Even Evil Has Standards]

Does Metal Jacket have the voice of R. Lee Eremy?

[Tyler117]

In an alternate timeline: Shepherd finds T-34s and sings "Katyusha" into battle.

[FoxyLove]

I would have thought that AC/DC'S Big Gun or the A-Team's theme would have been better songs in my opinion. ;3

[Moon_Fire]

5612916
YES.

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

5612916
I like the T-34 as well. Actually both American and Soviet tankers really liked their allies' workhorse tanks. But what can I say? "A Bridge too Far" is one of my absolute favorite movies ever.

[Blade Star]

Shepherd singing made me think of this.

[Nyerguds]

Aww, I was expecting Mammoth Tanks.