• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Andrew Joshua Talon


Just a fellow traveler...

More Blog Posts441

  • Today
    Short Hand: Perilous

    Starlight: "Listen, Shepherd... I know we've had a lot of animosity between us, and I understand why. So... I've been working with Twilight and Cadence on a solution."

    Shepherd: "And that is?"

    Starlight: "Well... Cathartic punishment to help reinforce proper perspectives on good and evil."

    Shepherd: "Which consists of...?"

    Starlight: "... Spanking me."

    Read More

    3 comments · 105 views
  • Today
    I'm Not a Goddamned High School Harem Protagonist! 2

    Luna gets a T-shirt with OPPAI on it, and tight shorts-Which do nothing for teenaged Shepherd's hormones. Celestia remains in naked apron mode, though she put on some racy panties. Clearly, both princesses-er, principals-are still massive trolls no matter what universe.

    Celestia: "How is your omelet, Shepherd?"

    Shepherd: "It's fine..."

    Read More

    7 comments · 176 views
  • Thursday
    Short Hand: The Pound

    Shepherd is taking in the sights of Manehattan, looking around the park. He buys a hotdogs, tries it... And then begins choking as his face turns red..

    Shepherd: "HRUKK! HACK! HARGLE!"

    He bursts out of the bushes in front of some well to do mares, trying to ask for help.

    Shepherd: "HRRRAAAGGHKKK!!!"

    Mares: "EEEEEK!"

    Read More

    11 comments · 300 views
  • Wednesday
    Short Hand: Metal Elephants

    Twilight and Shepherd descended into a little explored part of the archives, below the main vaults.

    Twilight: "This is essentially a large warehouse where the Princess and other mages cast stasis spells on whatever we found. Honestly, there's so much junk from your world here!"

    Read More

    15 comments · 295 views
  • Tuesday
    Doohickey and Music Box

    Shepherd helps Doohickey out with an upgrade for Music Box.

    Shepherd: "And I do it like this?"

    Doohickey: "Carefully! Just tuck it in... You all right, sweetie?"

    Music Box: "I'm okay Grandpa!"

    Shepherd: "Annnd... How is that?"

    Doohickey: "Hm... Not bad."

    Read More

    8 comments · 273 views
Oct
3rd
2021

Short Hand: A New Generation... · 7:19pm October 3rd

In the future, Shepherd, now an old but badass looking man, fell asleep... And then woke up in front of an Earth pony with orange fur, purple mane and tail, and a big smile.

Shepherd: "Urgh... My head... What the hell happened...?"

Sunny Starscout: "YES! IT WORKED! THE MAGIC WORKS!"

Shepherd: "I... Who are you?"

Sunny Starscout: "Oh! Uh, hello! I'm Sunny Starscout! I'm trying to reunite Equestria! And you must be The Shepherd!"

Shepherd: "THE Shepherd?"

Sunny Starscout: "Yes! Oh, wait... Uh... It's about two thousand years from your time period. You see... The princesses are gone, the tribes are separate, magic doesn't work anymore, but now it does and now you can help me reunite the three tribes together!"

Shepherd: "..." deep breath "Okay I'm gonna need a minute here..."

Sunny Starscout: "You see the magic spell worked because we're bound by blood! So you must be one of my ancestors!"

Shepherd: "... Two minutes."

Some time later...

Sunny: "... And that's what happened. But right now Sprout is planning something and we need to stop him! Will you help us?"

Shepherd: "Yes."

Sunny: "All right! So, how will you use the power of friendship to stop him?"

Shepherd: "..." dangerous smile

More time later, 'Sheriff' Sprout wakes up from blacking out to a gritty, deep and threatening voice.

Shepherd: "Wake up, punk."

Sprout: "Wha... Where am I? Why can't I see anything? Who are you?!"

Shepherd: "I'm your worst nightmare. The kind that makes punks like you wake up screaming for your mommy. You've got a mommy, right punk? Even scum like you has a mommy."

Sprout: "Wha-what do you want?!"

Shepherd: "Tell me your plan to start a war."

Sprout: "You-You can't get anything out of me! I'm the sheriff of Maretime Bay! You-You let me go and maybe I'll show some leniency towards you!"

Shepherd: "You're in no position to negotiate. Look."

Shepherd removes his hand. Revealing to Sprout that he's suspended several hundred feet in the air from an airship. Being held by Sunny, while Shepherd supervises.

Sprout: "EEYYYYYAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Hitch: "Uhhh... Are... We sure he's a good guy?"

Sunny: "Sure I'm sure! We're not really gonna drop him!"

Sprout: "You-You won't?!"

Shepherd: sigh "Sunny? You aren't supposed to say that. Now you actually have to drop him."

Sunny: "What? That sounds kind of mean-"

Shepherd: "Here." He takes Sprout's leg, and then lets him go.

Sprout: "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Shepherd: "See? Now he'll tell me everything."

Sunny: "Um, but you're gonna catch him, right?"

Shepherd: "Oh, sure." Beat "In a second."

Comments ( 13 )

I was kinda hoping he'd ask Sprout how he built a battlemechs.

A shepherd has a crook for a reason, Sunny. Sometimes the herd has to be... disciplined.

Must have learnt that from a dark Knight

5591139
From Omni-Man, actualy.

5591131
That and sheep are truly dumb animals... I mean world-class dumb. Though I always figured the crook was to fend off wolves.

5591131
You know, there’s a joke in there somewhere about shepherds, crooks, cops, and crooked cops lol

(Distant thud, followed by sobbing)
Old Man Shepherd: "Oh, look. He's still alive. Should we go see if he's ready to consider giving up his fantasies of war?"

5591154
Ah got you

Reminds me of this scene from Justice League Unlimited

After that Omni-Man inspired scene, it makes me wonder how cool it would be if prolonged exposure to magic gives humans superpowers allowing Shepherd to do actual Omni-Man style feats.

He may be older, but he hasn't lost his edge.

Or maybe he's gained more of one.

5591573
The fucks he gives ran out after a century or two.

5591573
5591577
Plus finding out everything you helped make go down the drain is not helping.

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