• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Andrew Joshua Talon

Just a fellow traveler...

More Blog Posts481

  • 4 weeks
    Stranger in a Strange Land: "Paternity"

    In the Canterlot Throne Room, Discord appears from the stained glass windows. He cackles in merriment.

    Discord: "Bwahahaha! Oh, how long has it been, my dear Celestia-!"

    Ryan: "DAD?!"

    Discord: "Say what-?!"

    Ryan: "My mother said I arrived in a flash of chaos magic! I appeared by your statue! So... I mean, that does kind of make you my father."

    Read More

    7 comments · 407 views
  • 10 weeks
    Plot Bunny Theater: "Mid-Life Crisis"

    Celestia: "I miss the good old days. Remember when we fought Cthulhu, Luna?"

    Luna: "Oh yes. Now that was a battle!"

    Celestia: "Just you, me, him, thousands of miles of open ocean... Except for that island."

    Luna: "What island?"

    Celestia: "Exactly. Oh that was a real fight! He broke my legs and my neck and nearly broke my mind!"

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    4 comments · 350 views
  • 30 weeks
    Short Hand: Favors Between Friends

    Fluttershy sighed. Discord stared in concern at his friend.

    "Hm? Fluttershy? You all right?"

    Fluttershy turned a kind smile on the draconequss.

    "Oh, I'm fine... Just... A little unhappy."

    "Oh? Why is that?" Discord asked, leaning in as the wallpaper turned into eyes.

    Behind Fluttershy, that is. It wouldn't do to make her uncomfortable.

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    11 comments · 731 views
  • 30 weeks
    Aftermath: Every Little Thing She Does

    Starlight: "Hmmm... Maybe I could use my magic to mind control ponies... And make them happy!"

    Starlight is swatted over the head with a newspaper.

    Starlight: "OW! What the-Shepherd?!"

    Shepherd: "First off: Mind control is a no-no. That doesn't make things better, and you should know better."

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    5 comments · 507 views
  • 30 weeks
    Short Hand: Blessings

    Shepherd is woken up by a pounding on his front door. He slowly gets up and staggers to the door. He scratched his chin, yawned, and opened the door.

    Shepherd: "Yes?"

    Diamond Tiara: "You! Human! Bless me!"

    Shepherd: "I... Sorry?"

    Diamond Tiara: "You're a human protector! You've brought great fortune to those stupid Apples! So you should bless me too!"

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    12 comments · 567 views

Short Hand: A New Generation... · 7:19pm Oct 3rd, 2021

In the future, Shepherd, now an old but badass looking man, fell asleep... And then woke up in front of an Earth pony with orange fur, purple mane and tail, and a big smile.

Shepherd: "Urgh... My head... What the hell happened...?"


Shepherd: "I... Who are you?"

Sunny Starscout: "Oh! Uh, hello! I'm Sunny Starscout! I'm trying to reunite Equestria! And you must be The Shepherd!"

Shepherd: "THE Shepherd?"

Sunny Starscout: "Yes! Oh, wait... Uh... It's about two thousand years from your time period. You see... The princesses are gone, the tribes are separate, magic doesn't work anymore, but now it does and now you can help me reunite the three tribes together!"

Shepherd: "..." deep breath "Okay I'm gonna need a minute here..."

Sunny Starscout: "You see the magic spell worked because we're bound by blood! So you must be one of my ancestors!"

Shepherd: "... Two minutes."

Some time later...

Sunny: "... And that's what happened. But right now Sprout is planning something and we need to stop him! Will you help us?"

Shepherd: "Yes."

Sunny: "All right! So, how will you use the power of friendship to stop him?"

Shepherd: "..." dangerous smile

More time later, 'Sheriff' Sprout wakes up from blacking out to a gritty, deep and threatening voice.

Shepherd: "Wake up, punk."

Sprout: "Wha... Where am I? Why can't I see anything? Who are you?!"

Shepherd: "I'm your worst nightmare. The kind that makes punks like you wake up screaming for your mommy. You've got a mommy, right punk? Even scum like you has a mommy."

Sprout: "Wha-what do you want?!"

Shepherd: "Tell me your plan to start a war."

Sprout: "You-You can't get anything out of me! I'm the sheriff of Maretime Bay! You-You let me go and maybe I'll show some leniency towards you!"

Shepherd: "You're in no position to negotiate. Look."

Shepherd removes his hand. Revealing to Sprout that he's suspended several hundred feet in the air from an airship. Being held by Sunny, while Shepherd supervises.


Hitch: "Uhhh... Are... We sure he's a good guy?"

Sunny: "Sure I'm sure! We're not really gonna drop him!"

Sprout: "You-You won't?!"

Shepherd: sigh "Sunny? You aren't supposed to say that. Now you actually have to drop him."

Sunny: "What? That sounds kind of mean-"

Shepherd: "Here." He takes Sprout's leg, and then lets him go.


Shepherd: "See? Now he'll tell me everything."

Sunny: "Um, but you're gonna catch him, right?"

Shepherd: "Oh, sure." Beat "In a second."

Comments ( 13 )

I was kinda hoping he'd ask Sprout how he built a battlemechs.

A shepherd has a crook for a reason, Sunny. Sometimes the herd has to be... disciplined.

Must have learnt that from a dark Knight

From Omni-Man, actualy.

That and sheep are truly dumb animals... I mean world-class dumb. Though I always figured the crook was to fend off wolves.

You know, there’s a joke in there somewhere about shepherds, crooks, cops, and crooked cops lol

(Distant thud, followed by sobbing)
Old Man Shepherd: "Oh, look. He's still alive. Should we go see if he's ready to consider giving up his fantasies of war?"

Ah got you

Reminds me of this scene from Justice League Unlimited

After that Omni-Man inspired scene, it makes me wonder how cool it would be if prolonged exposure to magic gives humans superpowers allowing Shepherd to do actual Omni-Man style feats.

He may be older, but he hasn't lost his edge.

Or maybe he's gained more of one.

The fucks he gives ran out after a century or two.

Plus finding out everything you helped make go down the drain is not helping.

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