Short Hand: Doctor Whooves 3 · 1:03am Sep 1st, 2020
Yet another Earth is soon in the viewer of the TARDIS. Shepherd, the Doctor and Ditzy scrutinize it carefully.
Doctor: "Third time's the charm, I know it!"
Shepherd: "Well... That IS my house."
Doctor: "Good! We're getting closer."
Ditzy: "That's a nice house, Shepherd! But the windows seem kind of small! Oh! I guess that's because you don't fly out of yours! Sorry!"
Shepherd: "No, it's okay. And that is my car... But I don't recognize the other cars in the driveway."
Doctor: "Perhaps it's a party?"
Shepherd: "I guess? Well... Only one way to find out if it's really my home."
Shepherd leaves the TARDIS, and walks up to the door. He knocks on it. The door opens... And he sees himself standing there. The two Andrew Shepherds stare at eachother.
Shepherd 1: "... This... Isn't my reality, is it?"
Shepherd 2: "Doesn't look like it."
Shepherd 1: "Damnit. So, how's your life going?"
Shepherd 2: shrugs "Eh. Can't complain too much..."
Shepherd 1: "I can't help but think that-"
Shepherd 2: "I'm not reacting in the typical way I would if I met myself from another universe? Yeah, I know."
Shepherd 1: "So... Why no freaking out?"
Shepherd 2: "Let's just say this isn't my first rodeo when it comes to the multiverse."
A woman with orange and red striped hair, heavily pregnant, walks up with two children holding her hands. Another baby is crying in the background.
Woman: "Dear, I appreciate you cooking dinner but can you help me set the table-Oh! Um... I don't recall you having a twin brother."
Shepherd 2: "I don't. Allow me to introduce you to my wife-Sunset Shimmer Shepherd. Sunset? This is... Well, me."
Sunset: "And yes, I do say it three times fast." *smirk*
Shepherd 1: "Sunset... That sounds like a pony name."
Sunset: "It is! I was a pony. I crossed over to this universe a long time ago." *She leaned up against her Shepherd and nuzzled his neck, something he returned happily* "He took me in, helped me finish school, one thing led to another... And another..."
Child: "Mommy! Is that Daddy too?"
Sunset: "No, that's Daddy's friend. He just looks a lot like Daddy."
Child 2: "Are you sure? He looks a lot like him. Or Uncle Ben! Or Grandpa!"
Shepherd 1: scowls "I do not!"
Shepherd 2: laughs "You want to join us for dinner?"
Shepherd 1: "If... You'd have me? And my guests."
Shepherd 2: "Of course! The more the merrier!"
Dinner is actually quite nice, and Shepherd and Sunset's kids are delighted to meet Doctor Whooves and Ditzy. But eventually they head back to the TARDIS. Sunset and Shepherd 2 put their kids to bed before coming out to see them off.
Shepherd 2: "I can't help but wonder if we're a magnet for stuff like this."
Shepherd 1: "Me too! Though I am glad you had a happy ending. Er, me. I mean-You know what I mean."
Sunset: "Ha! Happy ending's just the start, kid. But you'll find out eventually. Oh, and uh... If you see her? Please tell Princess Celestia that... I'm sorry."
Shepherd 1: *Nods* "I will... Also, holy crap. Four kids?!"
Shepherd 2: *dopey grin* "What can I say? I've always wanted a big family."
Sunset: "And I love kids... And pregnant sex. But mostly the kids."
Shepherd 1: "Well, good luck you too. And thanks again!"
Ditzy: "Especially for the muffins!"
The TARDIS VWORPS away as Sunset and Shepherd 2 wave it goodbye.
Shepherd: "Well, that was eye opening."
Doctor: "Indeed! And I got a baseline scan from the other you!"
Shepherd: "So...?"
Doctor: "Er... How should I put this...? There's a reason the realities we keep getting can be very random. Indeed, they will probably continue to get far more random."
Shepherd: "Why?"
Doctor: "Well! That Shepherd had only marginal Hume level alteration! But you? Your Hume level is constantly in flux! As though you were exposed to point blank blasts of reality altering energies!"
Shepherd: "... You're telling me that because I got hit by the Elements of Harmony-twice-I can never get home?!"
Doctor: "Well... In a word? No. Not by my ship, anyway."
Shepherd: "But-This reality was really, really close! Can't you try again?"
Doctor: "I will. I'm just saying, it's probably not going to be your home."
Shepherd: "But there's still a chance, right?"
Doctor: "A mathematically infinitesimal chance, yes, but-"
Shepherd: "I'll take it!"
The next reality... Shepherd, the Doctor and Ditzy are suspended over vats by cannibal suburbanites.
Doctor: "Can we give up now?"
Shepherd: "No!"
Next reality... Everyone is made of swarms of bees but have the same personalities as the people Shepherd knew.
Doctor: *using a smoker to keep them at bay* "Can we give up now?"
Shepherd: "NO!"
Next reality... Giant monsters and giant robots fight above them.
Doctor: "How about now?"
Shepherd: "... Maybe the next one?"
Next reality... Everyone's a vampire.
Doctor: "Now?"
Shepherd: Staking his horrible ex girlfriend through the chest with a stake "Almost...!"
Next reality... Next... Next... Next... Next...
Doctor: "Shepherd!"
Shepherd: "Okay okay!" sigh "It really is like gambling, isn't it? No matter what you do or how hard you try, the house will always win."
Ditzy: "Aw... I'm sorry Shepherd. But you know, you always have a home with us."
Doctor: "Exactly."
Shepherd: "... Yeah. Listen, thank you very much for... For trying this for me. I really appreciate it. And, well. It's nice to know I got a happy ending in at least one universe."
Doctor: smiles "Yes, it is."
Shepherd: "All right Doc... Let's head back home."
Doctor: "Gladly."
Ditzy: "Here Shepherd! Have a muffin!"
Shepherd: "Thank you! God, I'm starving! Oh... Which universe did you get this one in?"
Ditzy: "The cannibal universe, of course!"
Shepherd: "... Nevermind. I suddenly lost my appetite."
Ditzy: "That's a shame!" Omnomnom "They're delicious!"
DITZY NOOO
Obligatory post
Hey, as long as that muffin's not made of soylent green.
Well, at least it wasn't a cupcake.
As your mother tells you, and my mother certainly told me, it is important, she always used to say, always to try new things.
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I understand that the taste of those muffins varies from person to person.
After an uplifting moment like that I'd want to try at least one more, as well.