Short Hand: SMILE-3586 · 5:49pm Aug 20th, 2020
S.M.I.L.E.-3586: "The Human"
Item Number: 3586
Object Class: Euclid Keter, pending reclassification to Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: SMILE-3586 is to be monitored by members of Surveillance Task Force 87 ("The Candymares") in the town of Ponyville, the Apple Barony. Weekly reports on behavior are to be sent via Phoenix Fax to S.M.I.L.E. HQ using Anti-Geas and Anti-Hex Procedure Dinohippus-445-Beta. SMILE-3586 has been granted Equestrian citizenship and will be monitored using same procedures for SMILE-2009-1 through -6 ("Holders of the Elements of Harmony") indefinitely. SMILE Agents are not to interfere with the day to day life of SMILE-3586 nor reveal their existence to the entity save in XK-class End of the World scenarios.
Description: SMILE-3586 is a male Homo sapiens, a hominid species native to the planet Earth from a parallel universe. This human is in his late 20s, in good physical and mental condition, with a height of 1.9 meters and an approximate weight of 90 kilograms. Subject has no magical potential or abilities, but due to this seems to have a higher than average magical influence resistance quotient, rated to 280 LW (Lady Wonder scale). This magical resistance grants the subject immunity to most known magical geas and compulsion spells. Subject has been healed by direct hits from SMILE-2009 upon activation, denoting its moral alignment is at the very least "Neutral" (Pending reclassification to "Chaotic Good Level 55.6"). However, SMILE-3586 may have probability manipulation abilities given its continued entanglement in chaotic situations and ability to adapt and survive, though this is not unknown according to ancient records of humans (See "Probably Manipulation in Humans" by Doctor Factorial). SMILE-3586 has been granted Equestrian citizenship and for acts in service of Equestria, a Knighthood by Princess Celestia. SMILE-3586 has been assigned as a protective agent for SMILE-2009-1 through 6, a role the entity has reluctantly taken up.
SMILE-3586 has demonstrated incredible tactile dexterity with its hands and fingers, far more than comparable entities native to Equus with hands. SMILE-3586 also has ability to stimulate other entities through touch, particularly ponies. Victims of this touch report feelings of bliss, euphoria, and [REDACTED] comparable to [CENSORED]. As well as lingering affectionate feelings for SMILE-3586. Given how many mares (and a few stallions) regard the entity fondly, even romantically despite SMILE-3586 being of an entirely different species.
It is for this reason, despite objections from Princesses Celestia and Luna, that Agent Twitchy believes the entity is a potential Keter class threat to Equestria and could lead to an SK-Dominance Shift in power over Equus. Similar entities in the past are known to have attempted this, many in the guise of human beings (See "SMILE-114, AKA Anon" file). This is clearly not natural! Magic of friendship be damned! This is not normal!
You think I'm crazy don't you but I'm not crazy YOU'RE CRAZY I'M THE SANE ONE ME NOT YOU NOT MEEEE-!
Agent Twitchy was subsequently sedated and send to mandatory cuddle therapy.
The fact that Anon is apparently part of the same SMILE as the Elements concerns me to no end.
In any case, an Equestrain SCP Foundation raises some fascinating questions. What in this world is so beyond the norm that it need to be secured, contained, and/or protected?
Either something ate your strikethrough code, or you don't care how SCP classification works. If you do care, anything sapient is Euclid at a minimum, because "Safe" actually means "we can lock it in a box and nothing bad will happen as a result". The potential reclassification to Thaumiel is still valid, because that's "this is the box we lock things in" and he's basically an honorary agent.)
5339532
Your perspective is probably skewed. The elements of harmony, Discord, Starlight, The alicorn amulet, etc. Probably All the princesses, as well as flurry Heart. The stories follow exceptionally individuals who encounter the weird, and makes it seem like that is common, but from this entry, I imagine SMILE considers said things noteworthy.
5339533
It did, unfortunately. I'll work on it when I'm not on my phone.
And SMILE is canon to MLP. Bonbon, aka Sweetie Drops, is a member.
5339553
I wonder what SMILE actually means..
Secure, monitor, investigate, learn and endure?
5339586
I'm pretty sure it has a canon translation already, maybe in the book that brought it back after Slice of Life introduced it.
"Agent [REDACTED] arranged a meeting between Agent Twitchy and SMILE-3586 in hopes that it would decrease her negative emotional response to the entity. After administering the techniques known as a "belly rub" and "ear scritches," in contrast, Agent Twitchy immediately began showing increased emotional attachment to entity SMILE-3586.
Agent Twitchy has been reassigned, pending further evaluation."
Awkward sentence structure. Incomplete?
5339586
Secret Magical Inteligence and Law Enforcement.
At its base function they are a cross between the CIA, and The Secret Service Groups.
So, next tuesday then, probably.
Well, except the Storm King, but the less said about that weird guy the better
Dark Lord Shepherd, here we come!
No wonder the Princesses objected to this. If SMILE was too prepared for this, it'd ruin their vacation!
(Raises hand) I would like to volunteer as a QA technician for this.
...
...
...please?
...(sniffs back a tear)
I really like this one
I'm just wondering how the Elements of Harmony, primordial forces associated directly with that world's reality and likely heavily associated with the development of civilisation, are SMILE-2009. What could possibly fill the other 2008 spots?