Friendship is Card Games: Father Knows Beast · 11:31am Oct 7th, 2018
In this penultimate week of Season 8—going by the US release schedule, anyway—we get the closest thing we may get to an answer to one of the series’s biggest questions.
I really hope it doesn’t turn out to be the closest thing we get.
Yeesh, Twilight. Don’t try to catch Spike or anything.
Thank you, Smolder. I can’t believe Twilight overlooked the whole absence of feathers thing either.
Huh. Interesting to see that dragon parents actually do give their offspring some input… which doesn’t quite mesh with the whole “dragons abandon their young when they molt” thing if all dragons sprout wings after that first molt. I’d think this was a case of the left hand not knowing what the right was doing… except that both this episode and “Molt Down” were written by Josh Haber. 
Every time someone said “dragonish” or “dragonishness,” I wanted to press a megaphone to their ears and yell “draconic.”
The embroidery zone isn’t a consequence of being brought up by ponies. It’s a consequence of being Rarity’s assistant for years.
Smolder may not use pillows, but I can’t help but remember that one prospective dragonlord who wanted to raid Equestria for its pillows in “Gauntlet of Fire.”
I admit, Sludge had me going back and forth for a while on how much he was faking. The agonized groans were pretty telegraphed, but he seemed sincere in wanting to put up a strong front. Plus, there actually is something of a family resemblance between him and Spike, which is especially notable given the sheer range of draconic body types. I could see him actually being Spike’s biological father but wanting to avoid any and all responsibility that might come with it.
Pinkie is best physical therapist. The way to a dragon’s convalescence is through his stomach. (On the other hand, how did Dash even get those other Wonderbolts to agree to this? Has she been promoted to a point in the chain of command where she can actually give orders to other ‘bolts? Celestia help us all…)
Wow. I didn’t think we’d ever get an explicit use of the word “orphan” in the show.
The shocking reveal of a father doesn’t work too well when you telegraph it in the episode title.
It’s a bit odd to think of Spike as being famous nationwide, but at this point, it really isn’t that surprising. A dragon associated with the youngest politically significant princess is going to get some attention.
Dragons in this flashback are not to scale. Though I do really like that design for Spike’s mother.
Finding a migration route could take a lifetime? Yeah, if all the holes in the story weren’t enough of a hint, that one takes the cake. Dragon lifetimes aren’t exactly negligible.
Oh hey, the first mention of Klugetown by name. And the first explicit pronounciation. That explains why there’s no “d” in there. And Sludge does seem like he’d fit right in.
Wait, wait, wait. A prison world? I know that the Scale Collectors and their homeland were firmly in the realm of fabrication, but that language and its believability among the ponies have some fascinating implications about the structure of the world, the universe, and the ease of traversing both.
Credit to Sludge, he does at least humor Spike for a while. Yes, it’s to get the poor little guy to blindly adore and obey him, but… yeah, that actually makes him lose most of the points he might have earned.
Heh. I was wondering if the Hearth’s Warming scene was actually meant to be taking place then or not. The onlookers boggling at Dash were a nice touch.
Poor Starlight. She doesn’t even get a speaking role this episode; she’s just in it for a gag. Also, she apparently counts as a superfluous pony accessory. Make of that what you will.
The sheer audacity of Sludge’s hypocrisy is truly something to behold. He’s like an evil version of Baloo. “Just the bare necessities, my boy. You let me worry about everything else.”
Interesting to note that the door to Spike’s room is actually distinct from the other doors in the Castle of Friendship, being purple with a flame-shaped doorknob that’s probably a huge hassle to those who don’t have horns or thumbs.
The really sad thing about the shot to Twilight’s heart is that this is the closest canon has come to acknowledging her role as Spike’s mother.
I have to say, I really do like how Smolder has been developed as the big sister Spike never had. A shame the rest of the Student Six haven’t really gotten a chance to branch out beyond their group dynamic. It makes Yona’s absence from “Yakity-Sax” stand out all the more.
In all, this does retread a lot of the same ground as “Dragon Quest,” though I can see flight issues and the promise of a biological parent making Spike’s species displacement issues flare up again. The one gets him insecure, the other strikes at a question that’s quietly plagued him his entire life. That said, I do hope someone finally asks Celestia how she got that egg. And as I said at the beginning, leaving us with no true concrete data on Spike’s family is just cruel.
Now, tell me how you think a real dragon would play these cards…
Lap of Luxury 1W
Enchantment
1W: Detain target creature an opponent controls. That player gains 3 life. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery. (Until your next turn, that creature can’t attack or block and its activated abilities can’t be activated.)
Physical Therapy 3W
Enchantment — Aura
Flash
Enchant creature
When Physical Therapy enters the battlefield, enchanted creature gains indestructible until end of turn.
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2.
The road to recovery is paved with cupcakes.
Scale Collectors 4W
Creature — Ogre Warrior
Whenever Scale Collectors or a Dragon enters the battlefield, bolster 1. (Choose a creature with the least toughness among creatures you control and put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
Some beings look at scaly, firebreathing behemoths and see only a challenge.
3/3
Wonderbolt Support Squad 4W
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
Flying
Hoofcraft — When Wonderbolt Support Squad enters the battlefield, if you control three or more Ponies, Pegasi, and/or Unicorns, return target creature with converted mana cost 2 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.
3/3
Inapplicable Advice 1U
Instant
Draw a card. When you do, target creature gets -X/-0 until end of turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
”It’s simple. Just take two pints of slood and squink thoroughly.”
—Princess Twilight Sparkle
Validate 2U
Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pays its mana cost. (Mana cost includes color.)
Distrust and verify.
Shot to the Heart 3BB
Sorcery
Destroy target creature. That creature’s controller loses life equal to its power.
”Some ponies only get close enough to hit others where it hurts most. They disgrace the name of love.”
—Cadence, Princess of Serenity
Big Finish 4B
Sorcery
Destroy target creature. Other creatures that creature’s controller controls get -1/-1 until end of turn.
”Every finale should be one to remember.”
—Trixie Lulamoon, traveling performer
Draconic Layabout 1R
Creature — Dragon
Defender
R, Sacrifice three other permanents: Draconic Layabout loses defender and gains flying until end of turn.
”What’s in it for me?”
4/3
Shelf-Inflicted Trauma 1R
Enchantment
When Shelf-Inflicted Trauma enters the battlefield, draw a card.
At the beginning of each upkeep, each opponent who scried or surveilled last turn shuffles their library.
Twilight’s first use of earth pony magic was a twitch that told her when her books hadn’t been put back properly.
Orphaned Egg 1RR
Creature — Dragon Egg
Defender
When Orphaned Egg dies, create a 2/2 red Dragon creature token with flying and “R: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.”
0: Sacrifice Orphaned Egg. Activate this ability only if you control no other creatures.
0/2
Simplifying Flame 2R
Sorcery
For each enchantment, that enchantment’s controller sacrifices it unless that player has Simplifying Flame deal 2 damage to them.
The little things in life seem much less important when everything you own is on fire.
Draconic Swagger 3R
Sorcery
Dragons you control get +2/+0 until end of turn. Non-Dragon creatures can’t block this turn.
”Of course we’re better than everyone else. We’re dragons. But most of us are confident enough that we don’t need to rub it in their faces.”
—Dragonlord Ember
Wingcurve Trainer 3RR
Creature — Dragon Warrior
Flying
Other Dragons you control have menace.
”Honestly, no wonder you’ve been having so much trouble. You couldn’t fly your way out of a cloud house with that kind of technique.”
3/3
Meteor Dragon 4RR
Creature — Dragon
Flying
When Meteor Dragon enters the battlefield, choose three target nonenchantment permanents. Destroy one of them at random.
The only thing more dangerous than a diving dragon is one who’s too lazy to aim.
4/3
Migration Scout 4RR
Creature — Dragon Scout
Flying
Whenever Migration Scout deals combat damage to a player, exile the top card of your library. You may have Migration Scout deal damage equal to that card’s converted mana cost to target player or planeswalker. If you don’t, you may play that card until end of turn.
3/3
Song of Savagery 2G
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on Song of Savagery.
1G, Sacrifice Song of Savagery: Each opponent sacrifices X artifacts and/or enchantments, where X is the number of verse counters on Song of Savagery.
Uncivilize 2G
Instant
Choose one or more —
• Destroy target Aura.
• Destroy target Equipment.
• Target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.
Sludge’s plan left Spike with all the creature comforts of a wild animal.
Intercepting Blaze RW
Instant
Intercepting Blaze deals 3 damage to target creature. Prevent the next 3 damage that creature would deal this turn.
A little ash never hurt anyone.
Imaginary Matriarch 2U(ur)R
Creature — Dragon Illusion
Flying
Whenever Imaginary Matriarch becomes the target of a spell or ability, return it to its owner’s hand. If you do, create a 2/2 red Dragon creature token with flying and “R: This creature gets +1/+0 until end of turn.”
4/4
Enticing Baker 3GU
Creature — Pony Citizen
All creatures able to block Enticing Baker do so.
Creatures blocking Enticing Baker get -2/-0.
Where unicorns have spells and zebras have potions, earth ponies have pastries.
2/4
I watched this one when it aired in Australia, and I find I am not at all eager to watch it again
I think this was altogether the wrong kind of emotionally challenging material for me.
Oh, you're right! :O So much in the movie was left unnamed, and it's just so weird that we get any references to it at all during the season.
It's a good and well-animated gag though, I liked that bit. :)
On the whole, I disliked this episode quite a bit, and spent most of it just hoping that this tedious creep wasn't really Spike's dad. I'm glad he's not. The only redeeming feature is getting to see more Smolder and Spike interaction, which I really enjoy.
Apparently it's one of Faust's early concept art from way back when.
This is amazing and you need to expand the idea into a full fic. At first, it starts simple, with just this. Then her leg starts itching whenever somepony drops by unscheduled. After that, an ear wiggle whenever one of her students forgets their homework. Soon, Twilight becomes completely inundated with unwanted physical stimuli that enhance and enable a return of her season one neurosis. As she is slowly driven insane, it eventually gets to the point where she runs to Pinkie for advice.
Do it. You know you want to.
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I'd read it.
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At least it has some manner of canon name. There's a reason I keep calling Twilight's place Namepending Castle.
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Yeah, this one had definite issues. But Smolder makes for a good big sister to go with Mama Twilight.
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I won't deny that I'm tempted. Though I can't help but think that Twilight will just get Moondancer to come to Ponyville and study Twily Sense. (After all, she can't be expected to objectively examine herself, now can she?)
I couldn't help but think of that one story.
Lap of Luxury: Good for buying time to get your alternate win-cons out, but I mostly want to combo it with Tainted Remedy.
Inapplicable Advice: Twilight is Izzet confirmed. Who else uses weird language like that?
Validate: Strictly better Rethink. Not that's particularly noteworthy, but still.
Shot to the Heart:
And you're to blameIt's a kicked Agonizing Demise, but for R cheaper. Not truly strictly better, but alt least you could play this in a non RB commander deck.Big Finish: The card I want to compare it to is Public Execution, but it's cheaper, gives everything else -1/-1 as opposed to -2/-0 and is at sorcery speed, so it's not really vying for the same slot.
Draconic Layabout: So Torpid Moloch, but with +1/+1 for 1 more, a better creature type, and you can sac anything, not just lands?
Shelf-Inflicted Trauma: This is definitely a sideboard card, but I can see it making a difference against a UB surveil or combo deck that uses surveil/scry to dig for pieces.
Simplifying Flame: 9 times out of 10, I'm gonna just want Aura Barbs to kill them. If an enchantment is enough trouble for you to try and get rid of, unless they were already losing, they'll almost certainly just take 2 to keep it.
Draconic Swagger: Now this is a fun sweeper. This feels common to me, and a pauper dragon deck is gonna love this.
Meteor Dragon: a 4/3 flier for 6 is meh, but a free Wild Swing as it ETB is neat.
Migration Scout: A riskier Chandra, Torch of Defiance's +1 (damage=card's CMC instead of 2) that procs of combat damage of the 3/3 flier it's on seems like a lot of fun, but it feel EDH to me.
Song of Savagery: You do know there's only one other card in the history of Magic that makes an opponent sacrifice an enchantment, right? Why not target?
Uncivilize: 8 times out of 10, it's just a pricey Giant Growth, but I like the combat trick potential of this, especially if they have an aura/equipment giving first/double strike.
Imaginary Matriarch: Neat ability, but the hybrid mana in a colored mana cost just annoys the crap out of me, especially when it's on something with CMC 4 or greater. the amount of times you will be able to pay 3UR but not 2(ur)UR are so minuscule that they don't need to be thought about, and 2U(ur)R is an aesthetically displeasing mana cost.
The pacing of this episode was just the worst. It seems like they thought of a storyline for a season-long arc, then crammed everything into a single episode. He even has a Starlight-esque montage of doing things with all the Mane 6...
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Honestly, if Sludge is supposed to be Spike’s father, I’m thinking we should also make Scales his mother, so Spike can have the shittiest possible genetic parentage among Dragon kind. Take it to the level of absurdity, and make Discord his godfather!
Hell, Celestia could have picked up Spike’s egg after defeating Scales, basically the equivalent of those adventuring parties who adopts a baby orc after killing their parents. (up to you if Scales is dead or not.)
This episode was probably my least favourite of the final third of the season, but that's not because it's awful; just because the rest of the season has been really rather good. This one had some plot holes, as you point out, and the resolution (while better than having Sludge as canon family) is still unsatisfying.
Onto the cards!
Yikes, Lap of Luxury is terrifying. Any number of UW Control decks throughout history would love this. Force opponents to overcommit into a big Wrath. The opponent's life total doesn't matter if you're maintaining control. I don't think the concept is inherently broken, but I fear {1}{W} is too cheap for the repeatable cost.
Physical Therapy is the kind of combat trick I love to play. Expensive (probably a common, right?), but definitely surviving this combat and making it significantly stronger in future ones. The flavour... bypasses me a little, I must admit: Pinkie's recovery method for Sludge was hilarious (and it's a beautiful touch that it was by far the most effective), but I'm not sure that part of the therapy is the one that's going to leave him with +2/+2?
Nice use of reflexive triggers on Inapplicable Advice, though I'm not sure it's strictly necessary. Instant-speed discard isn't much of a thing these days. Or was the point to allow you to still cantrip even if the target becomes illegal?
I like Draconic Layabout. Particularly I like that the card it most reminds me of, Torpid Moloch from original Ravnica, was a Lizard too. That and the way that this one doesn't fly until you pay it. It could do, sure, but why would it?
Shelf-Inflicted Trauma is the kind of text I really wish Wizards would use. Dimir Spybug and friends are great build-arounds for Guilds of Ravnica, but they could have been so much more if they'd just added some nice backwards-compatible text to say "scry or surveil" rather than just "surveil". The card itself is an entertaining hoser, and priced sensibly to be playable in the metagame where scry/surveil gets too effective without doing much apart from that. I fear Play Design wouldn't like the idea of repeated shuffling though.
Simplifying Flame is interesting. Since it's generally worse than Aura Barbs it could probably be {1}{R}, but I like that it's a plausible red "answer to enchantments", even though punisher effects are always the worse of the two options. (Typo in the flavour text, btw.)
Meteor Dragon is hilarious, playable, and the flavour is spot-on for the episode. Great job.
Migration Scout is potent and cool. It could be another place for reflexive trigger use, if you wanted the controller to be able to pick their targets once they've seen the CMC. Of course, it's more random-red-draconic to make you pick the target beforehand.
Song of Savagery is... oh, it's "Just Can't Be A Dragon Here". Not using that name because it wouldn't fit on the card title bar?
Uncivilize is impressively potent maindeckable sideboard tech. I like it. Except when I'm on the receiving end of it.
Intercepting Blaze is a perfectly playable card, but it's a pity that it'll attract comparisons to Lightning Helix all day long. I guess maybe a bit less so if it's common.
Pity not to see a reference to Smoulder and Spike's friendship / pseudo-siblingship. Hard to do in card form, I guess, which is the perennial problem with red emotions.
Aaaand now that I've written all that, I see that digiman619 has completely preempted about half my card comments... Sir Digiman, you need to come on over to MagicMultiverse.net, we could use your kind of card assessment skills over there.
I think the Scale Collectors are meant to be the Storm King's forces, whether Sludge made them up or not, so that line has some interesting implications. I'm not sure if you've been keeping up with Oliver's blogs, but he had a rather fascinating theory, which he conceptualised even as far back as the movie's release, that the Storm King is actually an invader from another world or universe, and this episode jives rather nicely with that.
One of the many reasons I didn't like this episode very much is that I seriously can't believe Celestia hasn't answered this already. Even all the way back in season two with Dragon Quest, I had trouble believing that Spike or Twilight hadn't asked about this before now. But for us to be eight seasons in and for them to have still not asked this question is simply beyond my ability to accept.
I like how Smolder is starting to realise actually seeing "dragon customs" affect creatures she cares about shows her they're not as great as she thought. And I know she claimed Sludge wasn't acting like a proper dragon, but the story she told her fellow students was loved because, and I quote "[...] dragons like hearing about weak, kind creatures getting defeated."
Not so much fun when you see it happen in real life, eh, Smolder?
This episode was on point with fine details. There were cosmetic things like the sunbeam coming in when RD was making it snow. There were also the cracks and pops from Sludge's legitimately injured body (or at least, it had ME convinced he was injured). But they're also used to prop up the characters, and what would otherwise would go unsaid. During his recovery montage, Sludge was genuinely surprised that there are people like the ponies who exist that would help him out with no payback expected.
But at the end, as Sludge is flying away, did anyone else notice what Spike said? "I can't believe I thought somepony like that... could show me how to be anything." The pony vernacular is just THAT ingrained in him, even though this season the main characters have been purposefully using the more inclusive "creature."
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This episode really poses the question of what does it even means to be a dragon. When Smolder was first introduced, she was the most civil dragon in the entire setting besides Ember. We're at the point now where she probably interacts with ponies (and others) even more than Ember does, thanks to an extended civilian lifestyle with them. What Smolder seems to be mentally associating with dragon culture is a strength-based warrior society, where violence and callousness can still represent the virtue that she might yearn for. Smoulder has a sense of ethics, and it's debatable how much of that comes from before and after the School of Friendship. But she wouldn't want to admit that; the Dragon world view has been that Right and Wrong are irrelevant in the face of what can actually be accomplished or gained.
But Sludge was pretty on point when he says dragons take advantage of the naive and gullible, or spend all day laying around on wealth they didn't really earn. The only difference between Sludge and classical dragons like Smaug is his small size, meaning he has to rely on beguilement by necessity. This is where he diverges from what Smoulder's self-made justification. Most of the specimens we've encountered would probably count as "real" dragons, but most of them really aren't good people. Comparing the dueling morale codes of these two is like comparing the Orcs of Warcraft, and the Orcs of Tolkien. One is a noble savage made harsh by circumstance, and one is a sniveling spiteful dog whose species is a personified virus upon the world.
By the episode's end, the concept of a dragon is still up in the air. Dragonhood isn't rejected like back in Dragon Quest. The dueling heritage also isn't treated like two separate rooms with a revolving door in Surf and/or Turf. Terramar gets to be a hippogiff or seapony whenever he feels like it. But no character can definitively say if Spike acts like a pony or a dragon. The issue becomes so up in the air, the audience gets to have an interesting internal debate, but also conclude that both of those terms are too shallow to describe a person.
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I can understand that. This isn't meant to be an episode a fan watches over and over (except the clips with Spike and Smoulder/Twilight). Watching a manipulating conman be showered with affection, then lead an impressionable child around by the nose, and be shameless by the end of it is a hard sell. Especially for a more humorous and upbeat show like Friendship is Magic. What weighs this episode down the most is the objective plot hole that's been with us for 6 seasons now, that's why no character just ASKS Celestia about where she got a dragon egg, or why it was turned into a preliminary test at her school. But it feels a bit unfair to hold that against Father Knows Beast, since finally filling in that gap in our knowledge wasn't the story it ever intended to tell. The episode's individual strengths, and failings, get dwarfed by the overall structure of the series it's part of, since it deals with the foundations of Spike, a literal pillar of that structure.
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Very good points.
Heh. By the end, Smolder said it must be hard not knowing who you are. However, she's also growing further away from the traditional idea of what makes one a dragon... including showing vulnerability. Ember chose wisely when she told Smolder to stay at the Friendship School. Makes one wonder how much Ember knew about her. Maybe she was so protective of Smolder when she thought she was missing because she knew, deep down, Smolder doesn't have it in her to be a a vicious, out-for-themselves dragon.
Now we just need to get Cadance involved with those three drakes. There must be some combination there..!
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sounds interesting, do you have a link?
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Sure. This is the Oliver's page, and this is the particular blog I was referencing, though he also followed up on that theory in this one and possibly a few others I might be forgetting.
He does a lot of canon analysis like this and comes up with some interesting theories. If you like FOME's blogs, I recommend giving Oliver's a read as well.
4953515
Thanks.
I tried googling him and somehow ended up on a blog focused around diaper fetish fiction instead…
So, thanks for the link.
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No problem.