Present Perfect vs. Season 7! · 6:19pm Jan 28th, 2018
Here we are, another season down, another blog in the hole, and yet another year-in-review posted in January. Be amazed. >:B
This year, I'll be taking my approach from… I think it was season five? Watch the episode, write a paragraph of my thoughts, end with the best and worst moments of the episode. They're being watched in airing order but posted in the order of least to most liked, and of course, I'm using my silly blog titles because darnit, those are funny. :V Time to get everyone mad at me again. Enjoy!
Sucks to Your Cheerimac {Hard to Say Anything}
This is only the second time I have watched this episode. It's that bad. The hardest thing to say about this festering pile of awful is whether Bats is worse. I'm really not sure. This is antithetical to everything the show stands for. It features the CMCs clearly not having learned their lesson to leave romance to the adults, no matter how many times they say it. The stated moral is that romance is about doing meaningful things, but it comes at the end of a twenty-minute cringefest whose actual message is "so long as you do the right thing at some point, feel free to do whatever to try and get someone to like you, it'll work". This episode is steeped in generations of wrong-headed "the boy gets the girl at the end" dreck that My Little Pony in this day and age should be too good for. I can't stand it. Is there anything good about it? Sure: the CMCs are funny at the start, Vincent Tong does an amazing job with the Justin Bieber impression and making Feather Bangs completely loathsome, and hey, they even take time out to mock Spike while he's not there! That's incredible! But that we had to go through this to get to it is not a good prize. This is not a good anything. This might just be the worst episode the show has ever produced, and that's saying something.
Best Moment: When you realize both Cheerimac and Marblemac are dead, dead, dead and canon says so.
Worst Moment: That song. D: FFS, don't talk about milking cows when you're trying to get a girl to like you!
Animal Hugbox {Fluttershy Leans In}
So, I love G.M. Berrow. She really won my esteem by writing the official novels. But her episodes have two hallmarks: jerking off the novels, and not being very good. This one is far and away her worst, full of dead air, awkward dialogue, poor characterization and a terrible message. Yes, for once I'm complaining about an episode's message not because it's confused. The message here is quite clear: don't trust "experts", follow your dreams! In fact, there's an even clearer message if you follow the dots: if you ask people to help you do something and they fuck it up because you're a poor communicator and worse manager who wasn't able to get them all on the same page before the project started, just yell and scream until they either give in or leave! It's the secret to success! God. I can't decide if this episode is bad or infuriatingly bad. When people complain about how Fluttershy acted in Putting Your Hoof Down from now on, I'm going to point them to this episode. That was Fluttershy, untempered, trying to be confident and overdoing it thanks to poor tutelage; this is Fluttershy being a raw jackass with zero prompting. And how about that scene where Fluttershy's friends say they'll be glad to help her and then do the complete opposite of that? The 'infuriating' part comes in with trying to shove a garbage pop psychology fad down the audience's throat, one that's an especially poor fit for the characters and setting. This isn't the worst episode ever, but it's pretty damned close. How did this get greenlit?
Best Moment: All hail our lord and savior, Mug Fish!
Worst Moment: "Hey, kids, it's Big Daddy McColt!"
Hard to Yak Anything {Not Asking for Trouble}
It all comes down to this: Did you think the yaks were funny in the episode they were introduced in? Then you probably enjoyed this one. If you're like me, and you think the yaks are godawful, tedious and irritating, there is likely nothing the show can do to divorce you of that notion. This episode is just the pits. I can't stand it, and it's made worse by the fact that the main conflict is driven by a cultural misunderstanding that no one is willing to explain. Seriously, if Rutherford or anyone had just told her "this is how we think", things would have gone so much more smoothly. That said, I realized while watching it this time that the ultimate fault is Pinkie's. The lesson here is "don't wait for people to ask for help when you can tell they need it". Pinkie was afraid she'd offend their pride, yes, but when she acted in their best interest, she was able to help the yaks and save the day. I'd praise this for having a strong, clear moral, except that it took me at least three watches before I realized it was even there.
Best Moment: "Yak's head never been so clear!"
Worst Moment: Literally any scene with a yak in it. Even that one.
There'll Be No Living With the Twilestia Shippers After This {Celestial Advice}
If this episode had come in the middle of the season, it would have been mostly inoffensive, but forgettable. But as the season seven one-part premiere, it sends a powerful message: set your expectations low. Yes, season seven ended up being better than season six, but this episode promised 26 more episodes of the same: character destruction, no songs, Discord being a dick for no reason other than there would be no plot if he weren't, and general laziness on the writers' part. Even the bad premieres — Crystal Kingdom, The Crystalling (hmm, there's a pattern there) — gave us two full episodes of actual stakes and thrilling something. This was just dull, and set up a bunch of ado about nothing. There was no point to this other than jerking off over the season six finale, which was still a better episode. Fuck's sake, even the one-part finales were better than this, being, respectively, an ensemble comedy that wrapped up a minor plot thread appearing throughout the season, and a rollicking musical adventure that changed the status quo in maybe the biggest way ever. They weren't this. The fans and show both deserved better.
Best Moment: Tossup between Brolight Glimmer and Celestia laughing at Twilight, I really can't choose.
Worst Moment: When you realize they're not gonna send Starlight away like they said.
Manely Dreadful {It Isn't the Mane Thing About You}
I know a lot of people are really into this episode, but I just can't see why. It's a dull pile of contrivances built to lead up to some impressive pandering. Punk Rarity is great, don't get me wrong, but but when I think back to this episode, that's all I remember. The rest is completely forgettable. It has the overall impact of a particularly creative piece of fanart. Let's have Rarity be focused on one thing and build up her hopes, because it will be funny when they crash! Of course she goes to Sugarcube Corner at just the wrong time and gets her mane messed up. Of course the potions get switched because Zecora hasn't invented labels yet, nor does anyone think to suggest that maybe that happened. Of course Rarity's mane gets messed up on the day of a big mane-centric photo shoot. Of course. :| And, I mean, I like Mr. Breezy getting to speak and being all Scottish, I love the part where Rarity yells at the spooky eyes in the forest, and the scene with Twilight and Starlight is amusing, for all that "mane magic is hard" is yet another contrivance. Punk Rarity just isn't enough to save this. And hey, if you don't agree, think about all the kids with cancer who got to watch this and see Rarity's mane grow back, good as new, after a time wipe. :V I'll be here all evening.
Best Moment: Rarity's mane makes children cry. :D
Worst Moment: What the fuck is Mare's Day? D:<
Cutie Row and Wreck {Marks and Recreation}
Sometimes, there's just not much to say about an episode. They keep coming up with interesting challenges for the CMCs, post-cutie marks, but this one, at least, just isn't that memorable. For starters, it's yet another entry in the litany of "cutie marks make no fucking sense" episodes. So the (best new filly) who loves to paint circles gets a haiku cutie mark? The (second best new) colt who taught her how doesn't? What the fuck kind of sense does that even make? And I mean, the point is something along the lines of "having a job won't keep you from having a hobby", but it kind of does? And these are just kids we're dealing with, so that doesn't even work? Guh. The song, like the episode's cutie mark challenge, is different but forgettable. Watching Rumble find new and creative ways to be a little shithead is amusing, at least. Gotta love him falling off the stage and the way his voice fades out after "throwing" the horseshoe. And I guess if you ship Rumbaloo, you've finally got some canon fuel after seven seasons? c.c But otherwise, meh.
Best Moment: Kettle Corn obsessing over circles.
Worst Moment: Any scene dealing with cutie marks. It's just so frustrating.
Pointless in Sleepyville {Campfire Tales}
This is the kind of episode that can only be evaluated in hindsight, and hindsight tells me that it's the big thing done wrong this season, so I'm going to go into it in some detail.
Think, if you will, back to season four. We had five episodes dealing with each of the mane six performing some kind of exploit that exemplified their Element, thus gaining a token that would be used as a key for the Harmony Box in the finale. In this season, we have an episode about Somnambula, an episode about Mage Meadowbrook, a season finale starring Star Swirl the freaking Bearded, a legend who needed no introduction… and this. Why didn't they give us two more episodes about the other three Pillars? Flash Magnus would be an obvious choice for a remake of this episode, teaching Scootaloo to be brave in the waking world as well as the dream world. It might have upset the season two-ness, but Mistmane's legend could have fit into a reworked Honest Apple, taking the place of Strawberry Surprise. Not sure what you'd do with Rockhoof, but his story sucked anyway, so it would need to be completely rethought. Instead, we get an episode that's basically a sequel to the best entry of the shitshow that was season three, that by being so makes me think maybe Sleepless in Ponyville was overhyped. >.> I mean, I just wanted Rainbow Dash to start punching Scootaloo in the shoulder so she'd toughen the fuck up already. She was such an annoying little nerd in this one, and that's not something I have ever said or even thought about her before. The framing action makes more sense once we understand who the Pillars are and what they represent — Rarity extols the virtues of beauty while setting up camp, Rainbow Dash bravely rescues the fire from the flyders, and Applejack… pitches a tent, I guess? — but it's still boring. And as for the stories, again, Rockhoof's is dull (he got better treatment in the comics, and I'd have loved to see something more along those lines), and Flash Magnus's is relevant but maybe not the most exciting, for all that I love the idea that Torch was into wanton pony-napping in his young and wild days. But it doesn't help that he comes after Mistmane, who doesn't just have the best legend of this episode, but of the whole season. I'm still really blown away by it. I also noticed something interesting this time around: each Pillar in these legends has to deal with the opposite of an Element of Harmony, sort of. I mean, Flash Magnus's loyalty to his comrades gets him in trouble with his superior. Mistmane's opponent is greedy, the exact opposite of generosity. And, uh… geez, why is Applejack's part of this episode such crap? D: No wonder show staff hate her. The honest truth is Rockhoof was too scrawny to join the Mighty Helm, there! I don't think this holds for the two single-legend episodes, but still, interesting to think about. Also, worth noting that the shovel, flower, blindfold and mask are all normal items, but Flash's shield, for whatever reason, is a magical artifact that has its own name and legend and everything. Gotta wonder why that was, why it wasn't "his bravery imbued it with magical fire resistance" or something, but you can't say no to watching a pegasus surf on fire. :D Anyway, in all, this is not a bad episode, but the connective tissue is boring and, on the whole, it could have been so much better.
Best Moment: Mistmane sacrificing her beauty to move an empress's cold heart.
Worst Moment: Rockhoof's nonsensical transformation.
Intense Lesbian Subtext? {Secrets and Pies}
This is one of those episodes I just don't know about. In execution, it's a shoddy Party of One clone. The plot is enjoyable to watch play out, but it's centered around something that really isn't that important, and, I dunno, I just never quite got on board with "Rainbow Dash liking pie is the most important thing ever". It's forgettable. Moreover, it's yet another episode to add to the litany of episodes that demonstrate Rainbow Dash being a shitty person. I mean, yeah, Pinkie might have been upset if she'd been honest with her from the start, but Pinkie is also a good enough friend to understand that some ponies have certain tastes, and be able to respect them. But of course, that would necessitate Dash being able to understand what being a good friend means in the first place, and she's just terrible. Mostly, I just can't interpret the final act of this episode as anything but a lovers' spat. It's hard not to, given all the easy-to-make pie jokes.
Best Moment: "Also, how d'you get outta here?" Other ponies not knowing how to get out of the part planning cave is the best running gag ever.
Worst Moment: Rainbow Dash being a shitty animal owner.
It's Not Your Brain, It's Just the Flame {Fame and Misfortune}
It's easy to see why Larsen washed his hands of this one. Taken at face value, it's a fairly amusing episode about not being able to predict how other people will act to a creative work. Taken in the context of the release of Pennyroyal Academy, it's a cry for help from someone whose work has really gotten away from him, a lesson about how your intentions can be completely lost after publication. But given all the fandom mouthpiecing by background ponies — the Fluttershy scene might be the worst of these — and taken in the context of the recent e-mail leak (which, I should add, I haven't actually read), you kind of get the feeling the MLP team is sick of us. :/ And sure, an argument can be made that you're only gonna get mad about this episode if you take the fandom too seriously, but I can't deny anyone's anger regardless. I mean, some indication that fan reaction is valid would have gone a long way to assuage hurt feelings. It's nice we get G4 Toola Roola and all, but there's really nothing enjoyable about being told you're not appreciated. This episode just feels malicious.
Best Moment: "MY EMOTIONS, DARLING!" XD Rarity once again steals the show!
Worst Moment: It was almost "every time a background character opens their mouth," but that song. D: Ugh, I don't care if it's supposed to be bad, that still means it's actually bad.
Doesn't Thor Use a Hammer, Though? {To Change a Changeling}
I really do not know what to think about this episode, aside from "Who the fuck let this through?" I haven't seen tone-deafness this bad since Mare-Do-Well, and the only thing keeping it off my list of worst episodes is Trixie. She single-hoofedly saves this from being a total trainwreck by being her adorable, terrible self. Starlight even gets a good turn, not just as Trixie's not-exactly-straight-mare (:V), but with that rousing speech that makes me think she's actually got some kind of use. I even enjoyed seeing Thorax be terrible at ruling, not to mention what a bunch of colorful hippie terrible Flutterponies the changelings turned into. Seriously, they suck at being Flutterponies. But the message is just total crap, completely wrong-headed, and not the kind of thing anyone should be thinking is acceptable for children's television in this day and age.
Best Moment: Literally everything Trixie does. She's the best.
Worst Moment: Remember, kids, abuse is love and bullying will save the day! :V
Everything Wrong With the Flintstones {Rock Solid Friendship}
This is honestly a really good episode, but I can sum up the best moment/worst moment of this episode as "any scene with Starlight" and "any scene with Pinkie", Pinkie ruining the former when both are present and Maud's effect on me being dependent entirely on who she's with. I mean, look, Maud is one of those characters I've never really gotten. I didn't like the episode where she was introduced, I loathe the episode with her, Pinkie and Rarity from last season, I just don't care about her and don't understand why others do. Starlight, meanwhile, I'm only barely starting to not-hate seeing in the show. Yet an episode that mashes the two of them together as friends turns out to be the best thing to happen to either one of them. After seeing this for the third or fourth time, I'm starting to feel like it really does give us some insight into Maud as a character. And it's far and away the single biggest (positive) moment of character growth for Starlight since, like, season five? The scenes of the two of them learning a little about each other, bantering ("You're… messing with me." "Am I?") and so forth are just great. And I wish to sweet fuck Pinkie would shut the hell up. She hasn't ruined an episode this hard since season 4. What were they thinking? I don't know what else she could have done, what conflict there could have been without her being a godawful annoying busybody the whole time, but goddammit, she makes this episode tedious, and that really makes it hard to appreciate what goes on.
Best Moment: "Get us out of here, boy."
Worst Moment: The cowbells.
The Incredibly Metal Journey {A Health of Information}
I love this episode because, along with Mage Meadowbrook's legend being pretty awesome, it reminds us that Equestria is full of terrifying things. Also, because it's the second time this season a character has come close to legitimate death. Zecora almost died, Fluttershy almost died, heck, even the doctor caught the fever and reached the "leaves and branches" stage! That's hardcore. And yet, at the risk of just repeating a better reviewer's opinions, I have to agree with DWK: Twilight never once seemed to care. The "physician heal thyself" message was a good one, but poorly executed overall. I mean, in the same episode, Twilight is A) excited by the word "library" and then visibly disappointed to find out said library is a single bookcase, and B) entirely not excited by the prospect of a research project that requires reading every book in her library. Do you see what I'm getting at? And I'm sorry to say, analyzing from this angle really does dampen my enjoyment of the episode. :/ At least it was nice seeing Zecora again, and Cattail makes a good side character.
Best Moment: Fluttershy trying to dig under the door.
Worst Moment: "Is there anything that can be done for such a terrible conundrum?" It's only twice so far, but I can't stand seeing the show fail the Zecora Test, especially in an episode so focused on Zecora's rhymes.
Daring KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY {Daring Done?}
Daring Do facing the smearing of her name over a legitimate ethical conundrum? What a fantastic idea for an episode. I especially like that it wasn't one of those "The villain is just blaming things on the hero to make them look bad" scenarios, either; she really did destroy the statue, and that she helped rebuild it at the end was quite satisfying. It's fitting G. M. Berrow wrote this, considering all the references to her books. But she hasn't quite hit her stride as an episode writer yet, and after the tale is told, the whole thing just falls apart. It's funny that literally no one realizes it's Caballeron, but they could have figured it out. It's not like he was trying hard or anything. Then Rainbow forgets how to fly so she can get captured, then there's the ass-pull with the steam vents you clearly can't see in the long shot of the acid slime pit. (Aside: holy fuck, Pinkie puts the slime-covered blindfold in her mouth in the finale, so what's the big freaking deal about slime?) It's just a bunch of contrivances so there can be a resolution, and there are far more creative ways it could have gone. In sum total, this ends up just being an okay episode that I think I like far less than I used to.
Best Moment: The whole Somnambula story.
Worst Moment: Probably when Dash forgets she has wings. :/
Time for the Nursing Home, Rarity {Forever Filly}
This is maybe not the most entertaining episode, but the cleverness in the dual narrative continues to tickle me. I mean, this is just a great idea. FIrst, you've got the CMCs, who are in a new status quo these days, with a nebulous, open-ended goal. There are decidedly fewer things to do with them after showing off that new status quo, so bringing on one of their sisters as a foil is a fantastic idea. Then there's the whole "learning to live in the present" theme. I mean, it really is a story about coping with growing up, from all sides. And learning to treat her younger sister as a young professional instead of a baby is a really great character moment for Rarity. I dunno, I like this one, I think its message is good, maybe I just enjoyed seeing Zipporwhill again. :B
Best Moment: "So sorry, dear. You're tiny."
Worst Moment: Whenever Sassy Saddles opens her goddamned mouth.
Unicorn Drivers, No Survivors {A Flurry of Emotions}
New headcanon: Flurry Heart is not the first natural-born alicorn in Equestria. The rest have simply been lost to time, as they utterly destroyed their homes, caretakers, and all around them, finally being left to turn into the monstrous denizens of Tartarus or starve in the wilds. It makes tons of sense, when you think about it. :V I find this episode pretty great. It's low-stakes, slice of life, extremely entertaining, and full of cute moments. I really have to hand it to the animators and writers for giving Flurry a little bit of personality while remembering she's still a baby. The early scene of her playing bears with Auntie Twily is fucking adorable as hell, and you also get things like her being unable to replicate her aunt's wink. Like, that's totally a baby thing, it's great. Meanwhile, Cadence and Shining are a hoot throughout the whole B-plot, they're hilarious. It's not perfect, of course: the 'showdown' between Twilight and Flurry at the hospital is somewhat tedious, and the message is confused by the circumstances. I mean, the first time Twilight scares Flurry, it's because she gets too into their game and goes beyond a level of play that's comfortable for a child, another good baby moment. But then she has a successful heart-to-heart with said baby at the end? Doesn't quite compute. Still, a fun, cute episode, and one I don't mind rewatching.
Best Moment: Gusty the Great vs. Grogar
Worst Moment: "The B.A.E."
Keep Discord and Fluttershy On {Discordant Harmony}
It's hard writing blogs like this in the age of DWK without just spouting off observations he's made, but in this case, I have to hand it to him, because he's saved this episode in my eyes. The worst thing about it is that it's boring, more or less by design, but it does two important things. First, it convinced me not only that Discord and Fluttershy are actually friends, but that this is a good thing. We've had so many terrible episodes starring Discord, and they're frequently bad because he's such a dick, you have to wonder how anyone can stand being near him. Which leads me to point number two: this doesn't just make Discord likable, it makes him relatable. I mean, Dungeons and Discords probably did more to the former, but this picks up where an episode like Make Friends but Keep Discord really falls down. Think about that one: he's afraid his friend has replaced him with another friend because he's incapable of grasping simple concepts like "you can have more than one friend", so he acts out because he's a giant baby. In this episode, he doesn't understand "people who are different can be friends", so he acts out… by giving in to his deepest self-doubts. And it's not just that he almost fucking dies, it's that he's all but oblivious to it while it's happening. Like, shit, that's hardcore! And maybe those self-doubts spring whole cloth from this episode, but they feel natural to his character. Like I said, you realize this isn't some one-sided thing, or Fluttershy taking pity on him; they are friends, and that is good for both of them, and it's kind of a sobering realization to have. So yeah, not the most entertaining, for all that it's full of the great visual gags that tend to mark Discord episodes (I'm partial to the singing tea bags and Discord's Mr. Rogers getup; that tea salespony is fucking adorable, too), but definitely a worthy entry into MLP:FiM canon.
Best Moment: "Pinatas hate bats." :V
Worst Moment: "Are you sure you're friends with Fluttershy?" Like, geez, both of you, I don't care how cute you are, mind your own damn business. :|
When in Doubt, Turn Into a Bear {Triple Threat}
Can we just take notice of how much of a hypocrite Twilight is for telling Spike he's getting worked up over nothing? >:V Thank you. So, it was no surprise that Spike got an episode this season and it centered around him fucking everything up by doing things he should know better than to do. But if you ignore him? This episode's kind of great. The real surprise was Thorax and Ember's heart-to-heart, and the elevation of both characters onto my liked list. (I really never had much opinion about either of them beforehand.) Thorax is such a sad-sack, it's hard not to like him, and the foreshadowing for Times They Are a Changeling was an unexpected payoff. But the real star of the show is Ember. She's an amazing fish out of water who steals every single scene she's in. Casually racist, smears muffins on the wall, allergic to friendship: best dragon. :D Of course, I can't lay all the blame on Spike; speaking of hypocrisy, Twilight especially, but Starlight as well, should probably not have let things get as out of hand as they did. They definitely know better. But hey, at least we found out the Cutie Map can summon single individuals, as well as non-ponies, and Spike's cutie mark is his entire head. :V
Best Moment: Ember's inability to tell ponies apart.
Worst Moment: Spike failing to be a good friend to Thorax yet again.
Chronic Hornsturbation {All Bottled Up}
Trixie is love, Trixie is life, Trixie is utter perfection and she has great hair. Why couldn't this have been the season premiere? I mean, it wouldn't have been any less disappointing as a premiere than what we got, but at least it's entertaining. I mean, the worst thing I can say about this is that I love half of it. I don't think they could have stretched "Trixie and Starlight search Ponyville for the map table" out to a full 22 minutes; I just wish the B-plot had had less Pinkie cheering about how great friends her friends are, and the mane six singing about how great friends they are. It's like, fuck's sake, we know already! But seriously, this has a cleverly illustrated lesson, presents a good milestone in Trixie and Starlight's friendship, and yes, the song joke was funny even if the song itself comes off as a way to fill time.
Best moment: "I wear many hats."
Worst moment: Any scene without Trixie in it. She's the worst, which is why she's the absolute best.
Uncommonly Boned {Uncommon Bond}
It's really easy to take this episode as "Sunburst gets all the mares". Given the number of NEETs in the fandom who are prone to latch onto him as an equally awkward, nerdy standin for themselves, I have to hate this episode for giving them more reasons to be insufferable. Like, c'mon, DHX, don't stroke the fandom's ego that way. Still, if this episode does anything right, it's make me genuinely feel bad for Starlight. That's a long way for her presence in the show to have come since season six. You also have to feel bad for Sunburst; being friends with someone so clingy and trapped in the past and, let's face it, mentally unstable, has to be trying. I don't think I have much to say about the episode itself otherwise, save that his interactions with Trixie were, perhaps unsurprisingly, the best parts of it. :)
Best Moment: TWILIGHT SPEAKING OLD PONISH :D
Worst Moment: Starlight yet again finding new and creative ways to fuck everything up with magic.
Don't Trust Anypony Over 40 {Parental Glideance}
I know people hate this one, and it just goes to show that cringe humor in MLP is really YMMV, but this is one of the funniest fucking episodes the show has ever produced. Almost every scene has at least one big laugh, and on top of the ridiculous antics of Rainbow Dash's parents, we get to learn a whole bunch of stuff about her, for all that lots of it is really confusing. But like, look at the comedic timing on Windy Whistles congratulating Rainbow on a diatribe well done: it completely deflates what otherwise would have been an awkward scene, because this isn't meant to be a deep, emotional drama. It works so good! Plus, I can't get over Scootaloo playing the orphan card; yes, we know she has a dad now (I'm honestly ruing the tradeoff with "get canon lesbians" here), but that scene is still enticing, even with that foreknowledge. Calling this Rainbow's best episode does take a bit of cynicism, but come on, things like her having character and integrity are relics of a past era; we gotta get with the modern Rainbow Dash, the flying punchline, the walking vending machine of awesome! :V I just cannot find it in myself to not enjoy this one. Y'all are wrong, 'swhat I'm sayin'. V:
Best Moment: The sound effects on the door.
Worst Moment: When Dash's parents learn nothing and you realize she had nothing to apologize for.
Applejack Is Clothes Racist {Honest Apple}
Goddamn, do I love this episode, and I'm going to explain why by talking about the one scene I really dislike: Rarity playing guitar. It's over-the-top and pandery in a way that befits modern episodes, season five and beyond. It stands out specifically because the rest of the episode is so season two. You've got a focus on two ponies with a third as not-overreaching moral support. There's major cameos from characters we haven't seen for ages. It's about fashion. Though Applejack coming to realize what the moral is on her own, more or less, is something of a twist for message delivery. But yeah, this whole thing is great, from top to bottom, thanks in no small part to four amazing new characters. (I'm including Strawberry Sunrise, of course.) Granted, Star Streak gets overshadowed by the others in terms of character, but I love his futurist Bauhaus aesthetic, and I think he had the best designs. And while Applejack is the fall guy for being a jerk the whole time, I just want to state that Rarity gets the actual Bad Pony award this episode, for having this terrible idea in the first place, following through with it, and not reigning her girlfriend in sooner. She's great, but this is totally her fault. That said, this is some of the best Rarijack fuel since Trade Ya! and I lit'rally wouldn't have it any other way. :D
Best Moment: A tossup between "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" and "I faint!" Photo Finish is the best.
Worst Moment: Applejack tearing up the hat. She may not like the result, but she does know the value of hard work.
She's Everything Inside of You That You Wish You Could Be {A Royal Problem}
This episode raises a lot of weird and uncomfortable questions. It's also full of holes. How, for instance, did Luna manage to survive essentially 24 hours without sleep? But you know what? I don't care. Even without the presence of Daybreaker — literally the best thing to happen all this season (close second, Smuglestia; close third, Luna, Princess of Social Anxiety) — absolving this episode of its ailments, it's still just that good. The only thing really worth complaint is that this was almost a great episode for Starlight, but just as she's starting to become a good character, she seems to go back to her old ways. Cutie mark swapping isn't quite on the same level of evil as mass mind control, but it's still the same kind of thing and does nothing for her development. Still, I'm not that invested in Starlight, and I am invested in the Princesses, and this was everything I wanted from an episode about them.
Best Moment: Daybreaker. Literally everything about her, most especially, "Ugh, so much black! We get it, you're sad." That may be the best line in the whole season.
Worst Moment: We finally got the epic Royal Sisters episode we've been clamoring for for years, and it's about Starlight fucking everything up with magic again.
The Episode No One Cared About {Once Upon a Zeppelin}
By this point in the series, we'd seen all the mane six's parents, including Twilight's, so I hadn't been anticipating, say, them being the best parents ever. Seriously, aside from Applejack's, Twilight's parents are the most "these are obviously the people their daughter came from" in the series. Rainbow and Rarity's parents, by contrast, are more what their daughters were running away from, while Fluttershy's parents were lazily designed and disappointing. >.> But an adrenaline junkie and a huge dork who've become fucking yuppies in their middle age? Unexpected, hilarious, perfect. This ended up being a good episode about princesshood, too, and Twilight got to be her wonderful, adorkable self. (Major points for Spike in that opening scene, too.) But of course, the real star was Iron Will in an unexpected late-series cameo; he totally stole the show. I hadn't ever considered him to be unscrupulous, but I'm thoroughly satisfied with his performance, not the least reason for which is him giving us one of the all-time best gags of the show. Sometimes, everything comes together and an episode is magic.
Best Moment: NO REFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Worst Moment: No make Twily cry ;_;
They Are All Made of Stars {The Perfect Pear}
I'm not sure there's anything more to say about this episode. It's damn near perfect. Both Felicia Day and William freaking Shatner are in it, and they're not the best thing about it. It steals a great narrative shtick from Cutie Mark Chronicles, another excellent episode. And it only gets better in hindsight. Check out that first scene, where Apple Bloom introduces herself and Grand Pear gives her some preserves for free. You know, you fucking know damn well, the instant he lays eyes on her, maybe as late as when she gives her name, he's going, "She's probably my kin. No time like the present to start making amends." He fucking knows her, and it's probably tearing him up inside. Grand Pear might actually be my favorite part of this episode, a character topping Moondancer and even Cranky Doodle Donkey in terms of personal tragedy. I mean, Pear Butter and Bright Mac are tragic in their own right, but they overcome their tragedy and just die offscreen; they're more a part of the tragedy of the current living Apples. But a stallion who turned his back on his own daughter, coming back decades later to try and reconnect with the family he left behind… God, it kills me. Everything about this episode kills me, and I love it. It doesn't quite beat out Amending Fences as my all-time fave, but the difference is so infinitesimal it may as well not exist. (And speaking of hindsight, you think between the Pears in this episode and Strawberry Sunrise in Honest Apple the producers were getting some of their Applejack hate out? <.< I mean, it makes you think.)
Best Moment: The two of them "dancing" across the market. I just get choked up thinking about it. ;_;
Worst Moment: That horrible split-second when you think all those fan comics about Applejack hating other kinds of fruit have come true.
Don't Meet Your Idols {Shadow Play}
How do you top numerous characters nearly dying and Rainbow and Twilight's parents being amazing? Bring back Star Swirl the goddamn Bearded. What a finale! It's rare I can look at an episode, any episode of this show, start to finish, and go, "Yeah, that was a good idea." The world-building! The lore! The lesson! Starlight gets to save the world and it actually feels earned this time, because it comes from her character, her perspective, something unique to her instead of being in the right place at the right time. I continue to be amazed that they were able to juggle a cast of fifteen: the mane six, the Pillars, Starlight and Sunburst, and they even found something for Spike to do. Star Swirl's pridefulness being his downfall is fantastic; I especially love that bit at the end where he says he never counted on the power of the magic of friendship. It lines right the heck up with season three. And they finally defeat a major villain with actual friendship! I can't believe they took on their own trope like that, and it's so satisfying. I honestly don't know if I like this or Perfect Pear better, but I think in the end, it really doesn't matter. This feels like the culmination of a five year-long event, and it's just so fucking good.
Best Moment: Can I just say "the whole episode"? Because it's kind of the whole episode. Okay, but it's definitely the Sirens. :D
Worst Moment: Twilight's kind of amazing in this, but watching her gamefully fuck everything up by letting her fangirling override her common sense and the good advice of her friends is painful.
All right, time for copious lists! First, the season in easy-to-compare order, with color-coded tiers:
Shadow Play
The Perfect Pear
Once Upon a Zeppelin
A Royal Problem
Honest Apple
Parental Glideance
Uncommon Bond
All Bottled Up
Triple Threat
Discordant Harmony
A Flurry of Emotions
Forever Filly
Daring Done?
A Health of Information
Rock Solid Friendship
To Change a Changeling
Fame and Misfortune
Secrets and Pies
Campfire Tales
Marks and Recreation
It Isn't the Mane Thing About You
Celestial Advice
Not Asking for Trouble
Fluttershy Leans In
Hard to Say Anything
Now, an overall top 20. I've had to expand the list because geez, do we have a lot of episodes these days:
1) Amending Fences
2) Shadow Play
3) The Perfect Pear
4) Party of One
5) Hurricane Fluttershy
6) The Cutie Re-Mark
7) The Cutie Mark Chronicles
8) Crusaders of the Lost Mark
9) The Last Roundup
10) Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?
11) Once Upon a Zeppelin
12) Top Bolt
13) A Friend in Deed
14) Sisterhooves Social
15) A Dog and Pony Show
16) Rarity Investigates!
17) Luna Eclipsed
18) A Hearth's Warming Tail
19) Viva Las Pegasus
20) Sleepless in Ponyville
Now for everyone's favorite, the worst episodes! Again, expanded to ten:
160) Applejack's "Day" Off
161) Over a Barrel
162) Every Little Thing She Does
163) Fluttershy Leans In
164) Where the Apple Lies
165) The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well
166) Lesson Zero
167) Newbie Dash
168) Bats!
169) Hard to Say Anything
Next, top 10 songs, expanded but otherwise unchanged from last year. "You're in My Head" was not, but not top-tier:
1) Luna's Future
2) I've Got to Find a Way
3) The Flim Flam Brothers
4) The Art of the Dress
5) The Goof-Off
6) Becoming Popular
7) The Magic Inside
8) Say Goodbye to the Holiday
9) The Pony I Want to Be
10) Winter Wrap Up
Now, for the seasons themselves! Season seven was, all things considered, about as good as season two. It has a couple episodes I really hate, a few that were horribly misaimed, and bunch that were really fucking good. It's a tremendous improvement over season six that nevertheless keeps a similar feeling. I mean, maybe the feeling is "Starlight's part of the main cast now", but still. Though I rank it square in the middle overall, I consider it one the good seasons overall. So, seasons ranked from best to worst:
5->1->2->7->6->4->3
Ranking the season premieres!
5->2->1->3->6->4->7
And ranking the finales:
7->5->4->2->3->1->6
And that's it! I think I can say the show has earned my good graces for another season, though two may be pushing it. I'm still ready to get off the ride, but if they can maintain this level of quality? It may not be such a hassle. Now if only they can tighten their fucking security this year. :|
Next, I think I'll rewatch season three, because it's been a while and sticking to a "four seasons ago" rewatch schedule seems like a good idea. Keep those crapsacks fresh in the ol' coconut, y'know? Meanwhile, stay tuned for My Dickish Pony...
...Huh?
Interesting that you found Hard to Say Anything the worst episode when I rated it as one of the best and funniest.
It was 100% pure, unadulterated shipping! I had a huge grin on my face during the whole thing, and couldn't stop laughing at the way they both flirted with Sugar Belle. I suppose it all depends on how you watch an episode. Most of the fun I get from the show depends on how many lewd jokes I can make, and in that regard this one certainly delivered. Cream pies anyone?
I really liked DWK's "Twilight probably didn't know it was fatal" shindig at the best possible explanation for her lackadaisical approach.
People say this, but that's only because they blocked out all memory of What about Discord?
I'm convinced that there was some editor that mangled the message or theme of this episode. It's the only thing that makes sense.
Maybe because i avoided watching it until after the season was over because the synposis made it seem so bad, but I was pleasantly surprised by this one. I thought it would be another 28 pranks later.
You're stretching it. It seems like you like the whole episode. The message is that if someone doesn't fit in, they can still have a role, especially older/little brothers.
Nice to see we basically agree, given how much we differ on individual episodes. I'd rather start it 2 5 1 but whatever.
I seriously don't get what anyone sees in the pillars, their legends, and any of the shit surrounding them. It's a mystery to me because all of those episodes were just too god damned hard to watch.
Honest Apple, Secrets and Pies, and well... I guess perfect pear were about all I really liked this season. The rest I had to struggle to even remember what your reviews were talking about.
Also there's no wrong way to fantasize. That's basically an open license to ship :V
This is what I came for. Praise be.
>ctrl-f "Carrot Top"
>zero results
PP, how can you write so many words and still manage not to talk about the important things?
Seriously though, it's interesting that, despite having seen only part of S7, I managed to catch all five of your least favorite episodes. I'll choose to take that as a sign that the season got better in the second half.
Also, you are oh-so-very-wrong about yaks, and someday I will manage to convince you of the inherent hilarity of SMASHING.
This is a stalker's philosophy.
Re: Intense Lesbian Subtext
If you haven't watched DWK's video about the episode, drop everything and go do it now. He goes there, he goes there and moves in all of his furniture, and he lives there. I will never be able to say the words "pie crust" with a straight face ever again.
Makes perfect sense!
I have to disagree strongly about the best part of Parental Glideance. The best part was seeing Derpy in the flashback scenes, finishing further and further back as her eyes became more messed up. I damn near cried when I saw that.
Plus zeppelin cruse ships are cononically a thing now!
Which makes it one of the best plot threads for me. I freakin' love Twiggles, but she's not perfect, and failing in this way make perfect sense. What she learns from it will make her a better pony.
4783737
DWK has a knack for "fixing" bad episodes with a simple adjustment. He ought to be hired on as a script doctor!
You've found an episode you dislike more than "Bats!" This is surely the big news here.
4783734
Scootaloo was like "I wish I had parents that supported me", i.e., either her parents don't support her or she doesn't have them to begin with, and also side canon about Scootaloo having a dad and living with her aunts has been confirmed as happening next season, to everything that I know.
4783736
It's 100% pure, unadulterated doing romance wrong and spreading more of the incorrect ideas we as a society have about how to treat people we like. :| I won't stand for it, in this show least of all. I need to write that blog post...
4783737
Me too. It's just the kind of thing that, if it had actually shown up in the episode, would have solved literally everything. I mean, they get to Zecora's at the end and Twilight's wait, "Wait, she's turning into a tree? Why didn't you tell me?" and it would have been funny, to boot.
4783806
First, how did you do that? D: God, how do people find all these fucking random bits of code on this site?
Second, Twilight at this point should pretty much be the most boring character in the show. Short of princess-related lessons, she should know this stuff by now. And every time she fucks up something like that, I just have to shake my head in shame.
4783912
HtSA is bad on outside-the-show merits. It just makes me so fucking angry, this is the kind of bullshit Faust was trying to stop. D:
4783936
I've never much liked "Hard to Say Anything", but I quite liked the message I got from it: fairy-tale romances aren't real-world relationships, even in Equestria. That said, about 20 out of 22 minutes weren't about that. Is it my least favourite episode ever? Nope. That's still "What About Discord?" which I've disliked more every time I've seen it. But it's probably in the bottom ten. I know I have some weird opinions (not hating "Bats!", for one) but I suspect I'm fairly mainstream in not liking "HtSA".
4783936
Check out the BBCode Guide under the Help menu; it's got all sorts of cool things going on. For that particular trick, just put quote=the text you want in the opening brackets.
I think love often makes people do dumb things they really know aren't smart, and Twi has had a hero-boner for Star Swirl forever.
4783953
Least favorite? Has everyone forgotten Over a Barrel? Heap-big offensive native stereotypes and canon events so mind-bogglingly stupid they have just been ignored by all the other writers ever since. No? Anyone?
4783969
Okay, all of that may be true, but counterpoint: at least the train in that episode looks like a friggin' train, and not a vapid mockery of everything young girls are professed to love.
4783981
That's a fair point. But it's not Polsky's fault.
4783969
I'm not fond of "Over a Barrel", but it doesn't annoy me as much as "What About Discord?" The latter episode comes across as saying, "Hey, if your friend is getting increasingly upset and frustrated by you making in-jokes in front of her, don't apologise or try to explain them. Instead, double down and make her feel even worse." I can accept Discord doing that because, well, he's Discord. But for all five of Twilight's closest friends to do so is too much. I did like nerdy Twilight at the start of the episode, but it went downhill after that and stayed there. It probably doesn't help that I've been in Twi's position, more or less, and it was a really unpleasant experience.
4784054
Oh, I'm right there with you! What About Discord? is also one of my least favorite episodes, and whenever the episode title is mentioned, it always triggers the knee-jerk mental reply, "Fuck Discord!"
4783738
I'm at 1, 2, 5, 7 myself. But Secrets and Pies is carrying this whole season. If they had made this e24, then I'd be able to say they picked a real strong episode to go into the finale with. But they didn't. =(
And yes. I will freely admit the intense lesbian subtext is about 50% of why I like S&P so much. I'd kinda given up hope of getting more interactions between characters I actually care about, but Honest Apple and S&P really caught me by surprise.
I have to object here: while TBNE is one of my favorite finales, maybe the favorite, the best I can say for MMC is that it had ambitions worthy of a finale episode. But its execution was godawful, and in fact I think it's one of the worst episodes of the show. Compared to Celestial Advice, which is just mediocre and pointless... I gotta give it to the boring one.
100% agree.
Yes, but Sweetie getting PISSED OFF was pretty great too.
We needed room to peddle trash pop-psychology and stupid ideas about how to start dating someone. Also to confuse how cutie marks work. These things matter, dammit! :V
I think it might be connected to the staff having trouble making (non-party pony) earth ponies... really interesting and relevant in legendary scale stuff, especially individually rather than as part of Team Harmony! or whatever. Possibly because they never bothered to communicate any kind of earth pony magic that carries that sort of thing or is interesting on the scale of unicorn or pegasus magic.
I'd say the actual worst was it coming out after its sequel comic, which was a rehash of the episode itself and makes Pinkie look terrible.
And not for the first time. Sure, she may not be what everyone imagined S1 - S3 and ultimately her reintroduction, but damned if she isn't funny and adorable and a shining beacon of hope.
I'd put mine as the X-way tie at the end. It kind of devalued the concept along the way for me, and could have been worked around in any case by giving the runners-up jobs/whatever anyway.
Still 100% disagree with you on "A Royal Problem" clearing the bar of "remotely acceptable." :V
4783953
What About Discord is pretty bad, no lie. It's like, bottom fifteen for me.
4783969
I think by this point my anger for Over a Barrel has dwindled somewhat, if only because I can remember the intro fondly as one of the funniest sequences in the show's run. Doesn't make up for the terrible everything else, but does push it up the list a bit.
4784135
You've got a point about the earth ponies there. I mean, even if you look past the nonsensical power-up sequence, what is it that he does? He digs a trench. Sure, he does it really fast and impossibly, but it still doesn't quite hold up to fending off two grown dragons or outwitting a sphinx.
I tell you, if I was going to redesign the mane six for a G5 reboot, I would absolutely leave Applejack in, but I would make her Rainbow Dash. (And not just because I really hate Rainbow these days.) She's rootin' and tootin', but also the one who's constantly trying to prove herself, fending off her own insecurities because she has to be strong, she has to be the best. You wanna make Applejack an interesting character again without losing what makes her her, go with that.
4784346
Strange... I remembered the episode and had forgotten the beginning! Yes, that was a great scene.
4784346
And then make Rainbow Dash Rarity. And make Rarity Twilight. And make Twilight an earth pony.
oh wait :P
4784346
It occurred to me later on that they succeeded pretty well with Mage Meadowbrook... by making her nostripes!Zecora. :| With little bits of Fluttershy's personal abilities.
Nice review list.
Haiku when properly written follow a cyclical / circular theme.
Every one of these "assessments' just filled me with mild low-level rage. I'm sorry that we don't seem to watch the same show, and I wonder why you're still here if you hate it so much?
4783734
Single instance of a similarly colored pony
You've clearly got this wrong. The canon supports CheeriSugarMarbleMac, obviously.
4786008
This is true. :B
Well, except for the "Cheeri" part. Unless she's into mind control or something, y'never know. >.>
Ah, a Vertical Horizon fan. :D (Everything You Want, 1999/2000)
4788298
This comment makes me feel so good
It was a simpler time ;_;
4788393
I had to go to the UK to get their first two albums (literally. I was visiting an ex-girlfriend and doing some research in museums) because Running on Ice and There and Back Again were just duo albums. They weren't signed to a label until Everything You Want came out. And while I was over there, 9/11 happened and it took me three extra days to get home. o.o;
4788402
And then times stopped being simple. D: Wow.