Fic recs, April 12th · 8:46pm Apr 12th, 2017
cleverpun is seeking writers for a collaborative story! The basic idea is pretty neat. :D There's even a group for it!
I'm in the middle of a longish audiobook and was going to read an equally long fic for my fifth today. Then it turned into Twilestia. Why must fanfiction hurt me? :( So you get something short and awful instead.
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A Summer Twilight by Larathin
Reading by DrWh0oves
Genre: Sad
I had planned for this to be the last story in the previous review blog and read My Little Assistant instead because of the note that this was a follow-up. I needn't have worried; while this can work as a sequel, it stands alone perfectly well. It's funny, all these old fics I'm dredging up by going through the oldest fic reader channels on my list finally are actually making me nostalgic for the time when Twilight could live out her life as a normal unicorn and librarian. At the risk of sounding like a canon decrier, it seems to come from a completely different show. Anyway, this was a nice example of its own genre — future fics about Spike outliving Twilight — until Luna shows up. Her cameo feels very expected; the "it gets better, never easier" sentiment is appreciated and tones down the immortality angst some, but I've seen it before. And then she reveals that the note Twilight wrote right before she died, meant for Spike, has been withheld for him all these years? Like, way to paint Celestia as the bad guy. Still, a decent enough fic if you want to re-experience a normal, non-Princess Twilight through the eyes of those who loved her the most.
Recommended If You Like Sad Fics
Long Live the Queen by DrakeyC
Genre: Cutie Re-Mark
Swept to yet another timeline, Twilight soon finds herself in the presence of the Queen of Equestria.
New tag because I realized "AU" or "time travel" don't quite cover what went on in the S5 finale. This fic is in an odd place. It takes the theme of that episode and slots in another "bad end" future for Twilight to visit, but she spends so much time there, it stands at odds with the episode. (Points for Twilight making an effort to fit in, though.) The reveal mid-story of the Queen, along with what she does at the end, make this a really fun read, but the writing is often flat, and the plot amounts to little more than "characters talk about what's different in this AU". Still, if you wanted to see more possible futures, the fun parts of this piece will likely overshadow the poor.
Recommended If You Like AUs
Intransigence by Twifight Sparkill
Genre: Character Piece
Princess Luna tries once more to reform one of her subjects by dream.
Be warned: this one's dense. And it's not so much impenetrable as you'll find yourself occasionally rereading a sentence, noting all the big words, and thinking, "Does that mean anything?" Unsurprisingly, this works against the piece. I like the idea of the central character having an existential crisis in this situation, but it doesn't seem like much is done with said crisis, and the conclusion reached by Luna at the end is as confusing as it is unsatisfying. This possibly means I wasn't paying enough attention, but for as short as this piece is, that density of verbiage makes it feel three times as long. It's exhausting to read. And it fails the Luna Test.
Recommended for Luna Fans
Basking by Pascoite
Reading by Illya Leonov, et. al.
Genre: Slice of Life
When Celestia falls mysteriously ill, Twilight must learn to raise the sun.
The core of this story is jubilation, and the story itself revels in it. The language is fluid, languid, in no hurry to get where it's going, content to, yes, bask in itself. The main idea is believable in show context, and though there's a bit of headcanon discussion by the characters toward the end, it's still a very lovely, warm piece.
Recommended
Berry's Bottom Bottle by mikesnipe
Mature: Sex, Gore
Genre: Trollfic
Berry Punch has more problems to worry about than this.
So this is a story where Berry Punch gets a wine bottle stuck in her ass. If that's not funny by itself, the fact that she basically establishes this and then sets about ignoring it is. That said, this does not have a pleasant ending, so be warned. I still laughed.
Recommended for Terrible People
Sky Stinger Thinks the Holy Grail Is Down His Toilet by Blueshift
Genre: What
So, once upon a time, I wrote a clopfic called Behold, Behold, the Flying Princess Cometh. While I was writing it, I asked a chat room for ideas to include. I got rather a few, all of them terrible, from Majin Syeekoh and Blueshift. This fic, then, is the culmination of that list of terrible jokes — some of which I actually used! — written by Blueshift because he thought I wasn't gonna use any of them, which I convinced him to post not half an hour ago. In this story, you will find: projectile vomit, poop, anime, and some very questionable opinions on what one can find in a toilet. Things you will not find: sensemake. It's glorious.
Highly Troll Recommended
Yeah, that happened to one of my high school teachers. Well, almost. It was in her vagina, but -- yeah. That. That happened.
She switched towns eventually because literally everybody was talking about it. Must've sucked for her, but still. One of my teachers got a bottle of wine (or was it champagne? Can't remember) stuck down there and had to go to the hospital. I kinda always wondered how she managed to get there by herself. I like to think she sorta waddled.
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You really do lead a charmed life.
"the writing is often flat, and the plot amounts to little more than "characters talk about what's different in this AU"."
Yup, absolutely agree. I remember when I published it being surprised to see it make the top of the feature box, because it really is rather dry.
All the same, thanks for reading and the review.
That feel when Berry's Bottom Bottle was written for me.
Milk, you'll never live it down my dear.
RE: the last one: Talk about a shitfic.
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LALALALALAM I CANT HEAR YOU LALALALALALALA IT TOTALLY WASNT REVIEWED ALALALALALAL STILL CANT HEAR YOU
You're a masochist, Present dear. Thanks for the review as always - it inspires me to KEEP TRYING and hopefully one day WRITE SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T HURT OTHERS.
... although hurting people with bad fiction is sort of my fetish. You probably noticed that.
BBB was all right. Maybe a little low key, not really weird enough. End was... I dunno. Also disagree with her on mixing good scotch. But not so much with cola/more generally as a highball.
Holy Grail was great. Also now I want that list of anime. :V
Basically with you on all points for Intransigence. It took me too long to see it was the Nightmare, and though short, the concentration of $20 words slowed things down enough that investment in what was going on was wearing down before the end. And the nature of the connection between the end and the rest wasn't something I could exactly parse. Especially Celestia.