Read It Later Reviews #52 – Pop Goes the Bunny, Between the Lines, Operation Get-lestia, Passing the Time, The Pursuit of Academic Excellence (and Ice Cream) · 8:51pm Jul 5th, 2016
Instead of working on a story, I instead spent all evening reviewing stories. I’m not sure if that counts as procrastination or sideways efficiency. But hey, I managed both a set of Read It Now Reviews and a set of Read It Later reviews this week!
Hopefully it will make up for my relative silence this weekend at Bronycon as I assist Bad Horse and the Evil League of Evil get to meet all you happy people who are going.
Today’s stories:
Pop Goes the Bunny by PegasusMesa
Between the Lines by Bad_Seed_72
Operation Get-lestia by Cupcakes
Passing the Time by Rinnaul
The Pursuit of Academic Excellence (and Ice Cream) by Pineta
Pop Goes the Bunny
by PegasusMesa
Comedy, Random
1,383 wordsDeath is a natural part of life. Exploding out of your anus, however, is not.
Why I added it: Prak recommended it.
Review
1300 words of loving similies and metaphors of Angel Bunny exploding, combined with Twilight’s trauma and Fluttershy’s acceptance of the Circle of Life.
Really, I think this story is further evidence of Prak’s theory of humorous incapability between him and I, though I do see why some folks would think this is funny, and there is some stuff in here which… seemed like it should have been funny to me, but didn’t quite push me to laugh.
Recommendation: If you think reading a half-dozen or more gratuitous descriptions of a rabbit exploding, and like characters over/underreacting to something like that, this might be your bag. If that doesn’t sound like your thing, you aren’t going to like this.
Between the Lines
by Bad_Seed_72
Sad, Slice of Life
11,547 wordsAfter Twilight delivers a batch of books to Sweet Apple Acres as a gesture of goodwill, she finds that one member of the Apple Family is not interested in her offerings. Through her efforts to discover why, she inadvertently discovers Big Macintosh's most shameful secret.
Why I added it: I read it a long time ago.
Review
Twilight brings some books over to Sweet Apple Acres, only for Big Mac to behave rather strangely – almost as if he was scared. Applejack encourages Twilight to leave well enough alone, but Twilight can’t, and after observing Big Mac for a while, ends up realizing that he’s illiterate.
So unfolds the story of her confronting Big Mac about his illiteracy, and Twilight learning the tragic tale of why Big Mac is illiterate from the Apple family.
This story is both good and bad. A lot of the core components to it are good – the overall story arc is decent enough, the reason Big Mac is illiterate is not unreasonable, and the story tries to give Spike some agency even though he’s a bit of a tagalong character. The core emotion of the piece is decent enough, and Big Mac feeling awkward about it is not unreasonable.
That being said, some parts of the story feel a bit contrived – in particular, Twilight’s encounters with Big Mac in Ponyville feel a bit convenient, even though they aren’t intrinsically unreasonable. Spike ends up being left behind partway through the story, despite his insistence that he could help and some time spent focusing on his interactions, as well as his own friendship with the Apple family. And the story ends up being a bit melodramatic at times – Spike and Twilight’s last conversation about Big Mac feels a bit unnatural and overwrought.
And in the end, I still can’t shake the feeling that this story doesn’t require 11,000 words to tell.
Still, it isn’t bad, and if you’re interested in a “Big Mac is illiterate” story, this is decent.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Operation Get-lestia
by Cupcakes
Comedy, Slice of Life
6,614 wordsPrincess Celestia is due for an informal visit with Twilight and her friends, but Pinkie Pie seems to be acting even more strange than usual. What is she up to, and will Twilight find out before it's too late?
Why I added it: I read it a long time ago, but didn’t remember it very well.
Review
Pinkie Pie is acting strangely. She set up a fake cloud to tackle Rainbow Dash from. She’s asking Twilight all sorts of weird questions about Princess Celestia. She borrowed a dress form from Rarity. And whenever Twilight wants to know why Pinkie wants to know all these things, the pink pony scurries off.
She’s up to something. And Princess Celestia is coming to town. Is Pinkie Pie planning on *gasp* pranking Princess Celestia?
The story of Twilight freaking out while we catch glimpses of Pinkie Pie doing various silly things, this is a pretty fluffy piece which was intended by the author to be show-like in nature. And in the end, I think they succeeded at this reasonably well; the overall arc of the story is cute enough, and the ending works reasonably well. It is never uproariously funny, but it is consistently mildly amusing, from the various phrases Twilight comes up with to describe Pinkie Pie’s nefarious scheme to Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.
If you’re in the market for something kind of silly and kind of sweet, this might be up your alley.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Passing the Time
by Rinnaul
Slice of Life
4,996 wordsOn top of her universal magical talent, teleportation was Twilight's specialty. With her newfound Alicorn power, even vast distances would be within her reach. She was so certain that there was nowhere they would find themselves other than their destination, she even offered to teleport herself and Celestia all the way to the Crystal Empire, together.
Of course, nowhere is exactly where they find themselves.
For a week.
Why I added it: It looked interesting, and was one of the most also liked stories on The Stars Ascendant.
Review
Twilight decides to test out her new alicorn powers by teleporting herself and Celestia halfway across Equestria.
As the description of the story implies, this wasn’t her best decision.
The pair are trapped in a blank void, but it allows them to summon temporary surroundings with their thoughts. And so, Twilight seeks to occupy the pair of them, experimenting with the space while trying to entertain herself and Celestia.
Ultimately this is very much a character piece about Twilight and Celestia, with Celestia being her beatific self and Twilight being a bundle of eager-to-please nerves. Celestia’s patience with Twilight as Twilight bounces from idea to idea is kind of fun to watch, and I generally like the story’s portrayal of both characters.
That being said, this strength is at the same time this story’s greatest weakness; ultimately, the characters never go beyond the patient, playful mentor and the anxious, energetic student. There’s more to Twilight than that, and indeed, more to Celestia (though admittedly she doesn’t have a huge well of characterization to pull from show-wise). At nearly 5,000 words, the story ultimately ends up lacking in variety, and feels a bit repetitive. Over the course of the story, Twilight tries something and Celestia gently teaches her by demonstration why it doesn’t work something like five times. While there’s nothing sacred about the rule of three, it actually exists for a reason – namely, too much repetition without some sort of subversion can get boring. In the end, Celestia points out the correct thing to do, and unfortunately, it probably could have come much sooner and I don’t think the story would have lost much – several of the things in the story didn’t really ultimately say a whole lot of new stuff.
Ultimately, while their interactions are kind of sweet, I felt like this story was longer than it needed to be, and I felt my attention waning part way through the story. When we finally get to Celestia and Twilight doing the thing I most wanted them to do, there’s a time skip, and the story ends, without showing anything much about what they were talking about or even what impact it had on them. There was a lack of a real sense of development or progression in the story, or even real conflict; it was a pure slice of life thing, but without any real climax or much in the way of rising and falling action, it just kind of felt flat.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
The Pursuit of Academic Excellence (and Ice Cream)
by Pineta
Comedy, Slice of Life
9,912 wordsProfessor Crystal Clear, Chairpony of the Board of Examiners at Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns has always taken pride in running a fair set of admissions tests to accurately assess all candidates and select those most deserving of a place at the elite academy. Together with her colleagues, she has upheld the highest standards of academic excellence, and managed the school examinations with the utmost professionalism.
Then there came the day they met Twilight Sparkle.
Why I added it: I enjoyed its prequel, The Brightest and the Best.
Review
Documenting the immediate aftermath of Twilight Sparkle taking (and passing) her exam, this story follows up on The Brightest and the Best, following Twilight and her newfound companions as they follow around Princess Celestia while the professors attempt to escape the parents who all want to know if their children passed the exam, courtesy of one Twilight Sparkle already knowing.
Alas, this story felt very scattered and unfocused compared to the first story; the first one had the contrast between the students and the teachers, and between the various students. The piece ended with the irony of them trying to set an extremely difficult or outright impossible task for Twilight Sparkle which the audience knew she’d succeed at.
Unfortunately this story lacked that sort of cohesion or ironic end. The scattered nature of the professors’ response, the fact that over the course of the story we end up following Celestia, Twilight and her friends, two sets of professors, Miss Harshwhinny, Spike, and some fireponies lead the story to feel like it was all over the place. There were some cute jokes slipped in here and there, including a few call forwards, such as one to the Cutie Map, but ultimately this story didn’t really do it for me. There was cute stuff, but it didn’t really quite feel like it came together as a cohesive whole.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Summary
Pop Goes the Bunny by PegasusMesa
Not Recommended
Between the Lines by Bad_Seed_72
Worth Reading
Operation Get-lestia by Cupcakes
Worth Reading
Passing the Time by Rinnaul
Not Recommended
The Pursuit of Academic Excellence (and Ice Cream) by Pinetta
Not Recommended
As I finished this review set yesterday, hopefully today – the day I posted this – I shall devote myself to writing.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 136
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 491
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1946
And yet it's by far my most-upvoted story, and the third most viewed. Goes to show that plotless, meandering slice-of-life plays well in this fandom, I suppose. The fact that the two stories with more views than it are clopfic probably says something about the fandom, too.
Yeah, this was far from perfect. Honestly, I've never understood why it did so well beyond I guess people like how I wrote the characters. The problems mostly come fro me starting it months before I posted it and just throwing in whatever gags I thought of, eventually realizing that the only place for it to go was "Celestia relates my personal headcanon for a couple thousand words" and deciding that would be telly and awful, and then shelving it until I eventually slapped a quick ending on and posted it cause I was trying to do Oneshotober.
If I was going to redo it, I think I'd have two separate stories here. One being the "stuck in a void" gimmick, but with Twilight trying to free them and losing it over her attempts actually being the plot, and one where Twilight (and maybe some friends) finds that painting and it's a framing device for Celestia to talk about how Equestria was made, etc.
4070480
I know that feel, bro. I mean, I think anyone who writes enough different genres and stories is going to come to the same conclusion. As xjuggernaughtx has observed, when there's less to offend in a story, it's going to have less downvotes, even if it's less daring and interesting as a result.
So you are going to Bronycon? Sweet! We can travel across the country to finally meet each other, rather than skipping across the state line for a weekend!
I'll be looking forward, at any rate.
4070480
To be fair, a lot of what drives story popularity is title + summary + cover art + tags. I mean, I'm surprised I put off reading that story for so long; Twilight and Celestia interacting is something I enjoy reading, and I hardly think I'm alone. Hell, my own formerly most popular story is a story about Luna and Celestia talking to each other about Twilight in extradimensional space, and it shares a lot of likes with your story - clearly, there's a vast underserved market for slice of life Princess conversation fics set in extradimensional space.
4070509
We clearly like doing this the hard way.
You going to be part of the Congress of Black Hats?
Woo, attention! Thanks for the review!
Edit: I will say, though, of all the stories to review, you had to pick that one? I don't wanna be known as the exploding-rabbit author.
4070544
Prak liked it, and we had been having a conversation in The Royal Guard over whether or not he and I had utterly incompatible tastes in humor, as he often finds things I don't find funny funny, while I often find things he doesn't find funny funny. So I decided to read it.
Turns out he was right. Though I will admit I was vaguely amused by some of the descriptions of Angel exploding.
Sadly, the only other story of yours that I've read is In Her Majesty's Absence, which I read long ago, before I started doing story reviews (I did like it, though). I've got Rarity's Quest to Save Literally Everything and LIttle Bundle of Purity on my read later lists. If you have a better suggestion, feel free to make it.
4070518
Makes perfect sense. It's the same thing that drives you to pick up a book in a bookstore. The book cover will draw your eye first (cover art/tags; if you like fantasy, a guy holding an axe with mystical runes carved on it is a good sign). Then you read the title. If the combo works you turn the book around and read the summary. At that point you decide whether to buy it or not.
Of course, in FIMfiction you don't end up weeping for your 15.99 if the story ends up being a pile of doodoo.
Further proof that we are the same person. :|
4070529
That's the plan!
4070785
Are you going to Bronycon?
If not, everyone is going to start getting suspicious.
4070912 If he goes, then he's obviously you, because we know you're going. And if he doesn't, then it is because he's not a real person and therefore also obviously you.
I know she likes her cakes and sits around most of the time but I don't think her rear is that big... .