Funny Story to Share · 9:54pm Mar 29th, 2016
Something hilarious happened to me this past sunday and i just had to share it with you all 
So...
Those of you who have read my 50 questions list either on my front page or back when it was in a blog might remember...
45. Do you have a fetish?
- I like buff girls. When I say this I don’t mean like the steroid pumped monsters you see in female body building competitions. Think athlete. I like women who are femininly muscular.46. Do you regret saying this fetish?
- No because I was an athlete. I like athlete girls. There's something very attractive to me about strong women. Nothing to be ashamed of.
I don't even know if i'd call it a fetish, it's really just something that i find really attractive. Strong/muscular women. Now lets clarify here as i did in list... there is a certain stereotype/image that a lot of people tend to associate when a woman is described as 'muscular' and im going to go right ahead and reaffirm that. If the woman no longer looks like a woman, not only does that kill the sttraction for me, but it also suggests things like steroid abuse and what not
ANYWAY...
whenever i say i like 'buff ladies' i'm refurring to things like.... (to use anthro pictures from derpibooru as examples):
This:
or this:
Or... uh...
(IGNORE THAT ONE!)
But what does this have to do with the story? It has everything to do with the story 
So those of you who talk to me often know that i wake up at 4:30 almost every morning to hit the gym before work... well... for a long time now there has been this woman who has showed up around the same time who is REALLY... really impressive. Just about has the same body type as Spitfire in the example above.
I've literally been in awe watching her workout because she also does things that would likely break me in half if i tried. She looked older than me, but not by much, i was convinced she was maybe about 28-30. And yes, i thought it was pretty damn attractive.
Now i faced a dilemma... She was easily one of the most impressive women i had ever seen in person, and someone that works that hard on their body tends to be flattered when given general compliments... however... i knew that i risked being labeled a douche simply by being another buff guy in the gym.
So for a good... half a year ive simply gone about my business and not said anything.
Well... last sunday i manned up and decided to say something. And i had the perfect approach too, because i've always struggled to work my trap muscles (between the shoulder and neck) and she was clearly doing something right because i could see hers from across the gym. Not only that, but i knew it would show humility, cause most guys in the gym would never ask a woman for advice on lifting weights, believe me So i led my approach by asking her about it.
And she was very, VERY friendly, and was happy to explain. So that was the first sigh of relief.
THEN SHE STARTED COMPLIMENTING ME.
BEFORE I COULD COMPLIMENT HER.
I was like... oh man... this is going much better than expected. (while trying not to be too distracted by her body... it was hard really, she looks awesome.)
Then the conversation went this direction...
Her: I'm curious, how old are you?
Me: I'm 26
Her: Huh, wow, i have 12 years on you.
O_O
She's 38.
well then...
on one hand i was a little dissappointed because while age gaps arent too bad once you get older thats pushing it a little past the limit (Fire and Misty are 9 years apart, but 12? thats a bit far)
However, like i said, she was really friendly and i made a new friend, so it was really easy to loosen up and just be casual at that point. Hell, i've never had a female friend who is just as dedicated to the gym as i am. So there were plenty of positives to take away from it...
but then when i got home...
realization hit me quite hard in the face...
January 15th: PTH Chapter 115:
Valkyrie pointed up, signaling Bomber, Cannon, and Comet to get back into the action before she turned to check on Calm and Fleet.
“Are you two al—” Valkyrie paused mid-sentence and lifted an eyebrow. Calm was staring with wide eyes at her, his pupils moving up and down her body. She cleared her throat loudly. Calm blinked and quickly shifted his eyes to her face. “And what exactly are YOU looking at?” she asked while furrowing her brow. Calm’s pupils shrank and a subtle blush appeared over his face.
“Uuuuuuuhhhh…” he trailed off, his voice almost cracking in the process. Fleetfoot blinked as she quickly glanced between the two of them. When she put two and two together, she puffed her cheeks out and pouted angrily. Valkyrie just shook her head before turning and pointing to the dogfight above.
“Quit fooling around, have at them!” she yelled before lifting off and shooting back towards the sky.
Calm and Fleetfoot remained grounded for a moment, Calm still stuck in place and a barely audible ‘uhhhh…’ still escaping the back of his throat. Fleetfoot huffed and gave him a flat look.
“You know she’s like… twelve years older than you… right?” she asked with a sharp tone. Calm blinked and shook his head out before looking down at Fleetfoot.
“Sorry, what?” he asked while blinking continuously.
“Ugh… forget it…” Fleetfoot flattened her ears as she turned and faced the dogfight. “Let’s just go!” she took off. “Stupid… pumped up… muscle mare…” she mumbled quietly as she ascended. Calm stared after her while tipping his head.
DID I PREDICT THE FUTURE?!?!?!?!?!
I'm going to frame that last pic
And well, I suppose you did predict the future
Ask her out! Don't let her get away! Age means nothing!
I think predicting is a bit much, have any other things you've wrote down like this become reality?
*blink*
Pffttt...
You are now the first person on Fimfiction to break the laws of physics. (Mabye someone else has done it already, but I'm not directly updated on people that predict futures on Fanfiction websides).
Einstein would be proud son!
Dammit, Calm! You stole Celestia's future sight!
That's a really cool story, too!
Now we just have to wait for the 7th episode of this current season to see if you predicted the future once more!
I say this because here is a link to the synopsis of the 7th episode for the season.
Spoilers!
What?! You predicted the FUTURE!?! GREAT SCOTT!!! Tell me, future-boy, who's the President of the United States in 2016?
So, tell me, Calm, have 1) any of your friends started talking about memories they have involving you that you can't remember, 2) any of your body parts become strangely translucent recently, or 3) you seemed to have an inexplicable urge to drive a DeLorean? It might help explain your new-found clairvoyance.
but also:
WOW talk about irony
To be abundantly fair, my aunt and uncle have a 12-year age gap... And also, you're at her minimum-age line (age divided by two plus seven). I mean... If she's not interested, then that's another thing, but once you're in your mid-twenties, age doesn't make as big a difference as you might think.
Fuck the age gap man! Go wrestle her in bed for dominance!
Holy shit wow
the irony in that Calm. 
YOU STUD!!!!
12 years? Bah! It's just a number! Don't rule it out.
Still it's great that you could connect.
You can predict the future? O-Okay, I'm happy for you, you found your soulmate. Just remember to use your future predicting skills for good.
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/true-story-new.png
JK....about the Avengers part.
Your foresight has a spetactular way of choosing g them bro. Now use the use PTH to predict what going to happen in the next Avengers movie, and Tom Brady braking his leg and is forced to retire.
Nice to see another prophet around here xD
Funny you mention predicting the future since I'm playing Life is Strange.
Can't wait to meet up at the convention this weekend.
Go after her! It's a prediction!
Still, my grandma is 54 and my grandpa is 73 soo... They married when my grandma was 48 for clarification.
Just be careful with your powers calm don't want another cult surrounding you to start up and hey I don't find 12 to be that big of a age gap so if she digs you and you dig her go for it
Also thanks for sharing those first two anthro pics surprised I haven't found those already
At first, I could see where you're coming from with liking buff girls. It made sense. Tough chicks. Got it.
But alas, quoth the great Temmie:
2static3.fjcdn.com/comments/Noo+muscles+r+note+cute+_3469a84fdb13903a2ce95f82d1de828e.jpg
Don't get me wrong, I like strong. But I like strong and slim, like in-show Fleetfoot or King Sombra (or Rapidfire).
That said, in regard to each and every subject your blog post broached, I had the same reaction to all of them:
relatably.com/m/img/what-the-fuck-memes/tumblr_inline_nxoq18svHI1t6ubty_540.jpg
Age? AGE?! Age is for weaklings, Calm Wind! By Jove and all things muscle-y, ask her, my son!
And, I agree that buff girls are the more attractive. That, and petite. Stopping there.
WTF-i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/162/026/131262798979.gif !!!!!
3835288
As long as Soarin is the one who keeps her spirit up throughout it i'll be happy
3835292
*can't talk, busy making like a tree and getting out of here*
3835388
ill be that guy that shows up at a Steelers ravens game and chant's "BRADY SUCKS" the whole time, i dont think either team would complain.
3835525
i commissioned the spitfire one too
3835580
i forgot to mention that she's also short, like, 5'5" i think
3835615 as long as you don't mention Roethlisberger. You should be able to come back alive. Then if you mention Flacco then you'd have about 10 second before the Ravens fans realized what you said.
3835619
sociologiayredessociales.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/megusta.jpeg
I like my women shorter than me with long hair (Shorter the better). Toned is good too, but I don't care much for buffed. I once had a crush on a girl who was five years older than me and ppl said that was a little far apart, but I didn't care. But gosh, I don't know man, twelve years? Course, I like any girl who would compliment me or give any attention to me for that matter. Plus, the older you get, the importance of the age gap becomes less. So, good luck with all that.
Also, I'm saving the first pic myself.
3835617 You have excellent taste sir
3835607
3835288 Just hope they don't completely bastardize the wonderbolts this time around
3835398 Oh you're going too can't wait to meet ya!
3835607
Agreed.
Still, I want it to be Skittles... and I want Silver to call her that.
You've ruined me... and I have no room to complain xD
3835872
You and me both. But, like I told the rest of the Expanded Wondeverse writers: Calm's Wonderbolts will always be the cannon Wonderbolts in my mind. I like the show, and I love a lot of the stuff they do, but Calm writes the Wonderbolts better than anyone I've seen, so if they screw them up again, I'll just smile and be happy that I'm a fan of Calm's work.
Calm, leave the future to itself or you might get in trouble
you goober/boob. First of all, good on you for finally manning up and talking with her. Took you long enough, and I hope it boosted your self esteem some to show that they wont instantly eat you or something.
We're making progress, slowly, but were making progress
Laughed for 10 minutes at that Krusty picture when this first went up. Came back now to see if it was still funny.
It is.
Personally, I prefer women with a hint of a 6 pack and some muscles. Kinda like Korra from The Legend of Korra. That Spitfire and Fleetfoot are a little too muscle-y for me. Not that I would kick them out of bed mind you.
3836680 same goes for me also and korra is a good example even as an anime character
3836065
hence why i screamed into a pillow when Misty Fly spoke up in Rarity Investigates.
I'm just way too used to my Wonderbolts, im always super nervous whenever they appear in the show. I've heard from a few of my reaqders that they actually REFUSE to watch any Wonderbolt episodes after rainbow falls.
3836393
i had the perfect excuse to say something
"You clearly know what you're doing, i was wondering what lifts you do to work your traps. Yours are like, twice the size of mine"
Gotta know who you're talking to, someone who works their that hard is not only flattered by compliments about it, but is also very willing to talk about what they do. I guess this was easier because it fit my environment
3836394
that picture about summed up my internal reaction when i figured out how old she was
Was ecstatic when she was being so friendly and even telling me how great i look, then '12 years older than you' *spontaneously combusts*
3836680
Yeah my preferences tend to be a little more than most. It's more than just the look for me, (although i do find it very attractive) as someone who works out hard, and has earned a strong body, i know firsthand that it takes a heck of a lot of perseverance and dedication. Those are good qualities to find in people. It can be found outside of the gym, obviously, but it's something you can see. Not to mention it's also much harder for women to build muscle due to much less testosterone.
So i think it's attractive, and i think it says a lot about drive and goals... and so if i see a woman who has pushed herself even further and has more to show for it, yeah it gets me
Calm Wind; predicting the future since 2016!
Max I've ever benched is 55kg for 5 reps before I turned to jelly, so I'm pretty sure everyone at my gym is stronger than me, regardless of muscle group
At least you can talk to someone in the gym without looking strange. At my gym, everyone just plugs in their headphones and blocks out any attempts at communication.....me included
Although I do hear the occasional words and snickers when I wear a Star Trek shirt.....
3837449
I just take all of them with a grain of salt. Most likely I'll watch it, and smile, then go read more fanfiction.
Then there's me, the fat blob trying to take a nice 30 minute jog while the guy in front of me has been going full speed in front of me for more than 4 times as long a I've been doing.
(Seriously, that happened to me. Made me boost my time up to 45 minutes.)
Eh, after a certain point age is nothing but a number-it boils down to maturity levels. And like you said, at the very least you made a new friend. And major kudos to her for being in such awesome shape, past a certain age it really does become a struggle (I'm still working on regaining my core strength-my two year old murdered my abs).
As for the upcoming episode, I admit I made a weird screeching noise when I read the synopsis. My husband asked me if I had something stuck in my throat
. I'm just happy Dash seems to be achieving her dream in the show, and am keeping my fingers crossed there is no Wonderbolt character assassination.
WIZARDS ALERT! EVERYBODY BOW DOWN THOSE THE ALMIGHTY WIZARD CALM WIND!
3835619
Excuse me, 5'5" is not short, is average height for a woman. Anything from 5'2" and below is considered petite. I just barely qualify.
3843453
quiet you munchkin! *squishes you*