Totally Tapped · 7:13am Mar 29th, 2016
That was it.
That was all the limiters.
What you saw this weekend was what I've been hinting at for half a decade: the full extent of my writer's abilities, my shipping abilities, my WAFF-creation skils.... everything.* At this exact present point in time, Courage and Change is the absolute best I am capable of.
I swore I'd never go Absolute Best again because doing so was how I originally burnt out from fanfic, but sometimes you just gotta go, "well... what the hell?"
I'd forgotten how much work goes into one of these things, though. A love story that also contains a substantial amount of sex. A lemon that has a point to it. My muse has been running on adrenaline for two and a half months straight and the delayed reaction has finally hit me.
Mentally, I am so utterly exhausted right now. I'm completely drained.
I can't imagine anything.
Oh, I'll recharge. I'll always do. It'll take me longer than usual, though. Right now, however, it even hurts my head to think of words to write for this blog post. I'll try to power through anyway, though.
This project got off the ground in mid-January when, out of the blue, my ol' pal Shax told me he would draw any Sunlight** scenario I wanted as a gift. After doing a triple take, I knew what I wanted almost immediately. And then he went and drew it, and the result is the cover of the story that's taken pretty much taken the EQG fandom by storm on every single social media we hang out on. Mwaha.
Meanwhile, Shax's art (when he's drawing something that isn't too -ahem- intense for me to look at, anyway) has always had a way of... jump-starting my imagination. I was originally just going to write one of my usual tender scenes, yet something this time snapped in me and suddenly I'm all WHY DON'T I WRITE MY FIRST LEMON IN A DECADE CAUSE YEAH THAT'S A GOOD IDEA
What followed was a sometimes painful journey of relearning how to do just that. See, while I don't have any trouble directing sexytimes (I consider it a fun character exercise--e.g. what would really get Sci-Twi's butter churning? etc.), I have always had problems with prose, and more so, translating said sexytimes to prose. I almost gave up a few times. It was hard. But in the end, I found a few literary north stars that allowed me to re-evaluate my approach, revamp everything, and come out with something I didn't hate reading back to myself. Learned so much about engaging all five senses with words, and it was glorious.
And then nanashi, my editor and bestie, got a hold of it, and just went absolutely nuts. It helps that Sunlight (specifically of the Science Variety) is one of her MLP OTPs. She fought the good fight, to as much exhaustion as I, especially during the final hours. Brought this whole thing to life, she did. Love you forever, girl <3
Meanwhile, as much as this project was for her, it was also for IJAB, who'd reconnected with me some months ago. He's been a great friend and someone who can kick me out of my worries when they threaten to overtake me. His moral support and knowing that this sucker would knock him flat on his ass were BIG motivating factors the whole way through. 
You crack me up, little buddy.
::sigh:: You know what the funny part is? It's not like I'm special in this fandom or anything. This fandom is massive and there are so many people who've come before me in it and who will come after me in it that have been better than me at even my chosen forte, and will be better than me. C&C may be the best I can do, but from what I've heard, it's probably no, I dunno, Romance Reports or Spellbound Fireflies or (insert your favorite romantic magnum opus here). Still love the heck out of it though.
And yet I still do this. And still want to do this. Just write MLP characters being mushy together, collect 300 likes, and move on, lather, rinse, repeat. At this point, it's a routine, varied only by how much work I put into an idea. But eh, hobbies are hobbies. I still find it fulfilling, and that's all that matters.
That said, I'm taking steps to up my writing game and start turning out things that don't depend on someone else's IP to have legs. But that's the very indeterminate future. And as the future comes I'll let you all know if I eventually move on. I promise.
But for now, I want to thank all of who you participated in this little... experiment. Even amidst some unpredictabilities both pre- and post-release, looking back on it, I think I'd call it quite the success. I hope you all had fun.
We sure did. And who knows--Team Delightful's stars may well align again. Of course, even if they do, things may or may not turn out like they did this time around...
Good night, everybody.
~B
*Actually, beyond everything, because nanashi did a bang-up job bringing out everything I wanted to do with my writing and then some. Please thank her. A lot.
** ...yes. "Sunlight." For the love of all that is Celestial. if you actually, unironically call it "Sunsetsparkle," I instantly brand you a horrific hipster. No exceptions. :D
I've been waiting three whole months to use that screencap.
I guess they'll have to be a fight between calling the Twilight / Sunset Shimmer paring Sunlight and calling the Starlight Glimmer / Sunburst relationship the same.
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3834101 I've waiting three whole years to write a clopfic that isn't stupid. Now that this is finally out I can
swap out some names and publish it as my own workread it to learn the secrets to good sexytimes writing.It's good to know that your story was a success, Bookish.
As for me, after many weeks of rigourous editing and re-editing, my story, Good Sport, has been approved for Equestria Daily. They did give me some last notes to touch up on whilst they approved it, and I've pretty much cleaned them all up.
So sometime today, given the popularity of the website and taking into account when and how many people are on it, my story should appear soon.
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Whoa, congratulations! I can't even get on there anymore! :D
I liked Good Sport in its original form so I can't wait to see this revised version.
You shipped them so hard you ran out of brain juices.
well i will say i loved your most recent story and can't wait to see more...if you need some help thinking of ideas i have MORE than plenty that i've been looking to share
All that work you put into this story was definitely worth it, and I look forward to whatever comes next once your batteries are recharged.
And this is coming from someone who isn't a SunLight shipper. And will admit to a little jealousy.
I'm fairly certain the only reason derpi uses "SunsetSparkle" is to not confuse the shipping tag with a tag for sunlight as in actual solar electromagnetic radiation. It's certainly not a unique problem when it comes to punny ship names.
It was most certainly worth the time and effort. Thank you for it, Bookish. See you next untap step.
And it thoroughly deserves that. As far as magnum opus' go, this was pretty damn great. Hopefully your exhaustion is eased by having made a bunch of Sunlight shippers and EQG ficcers very happy!
I don't even like Sunlight or non futa lesbians. Or romance. And SciTwi rubs me the wrong way sometimes. And no one got raped.
But I know a good story when I read one. You did good.
This was truly an amazing story. I've only been reading your stuff for a few weeks or so and, haven't been in this fandom nearly as long as you have. Still, I've been trying to get my creative juices flowing as well. This story actually made me rethink the direction of my work. Sunlight is definitely my OTC after all and, my premiere fic could have easily stepped on it. SciTwi and Sunset really can heal each other of their common pain, and you showed that beautifully.
I swear this came up in a discussion I had a couple days ago...
Love you back, Sparkle Bro. Rest, recoup, tend to your muse. You worked really hard on this one.
It might just be me, but at 1:31, it looks like Flash is giving Lex Luthor the mother of all nipple twists.
I miss you too, Sam & Max.
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Y'know, I'm not sure I was there for it? Maybe I was, I dunno. Care to expound?
Skype IM if you wanna.
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::hugs you both::
3835445 I'll ping you when I get done with my shift if you wanna talk
Having just finished up leaving my thoughts* on the story in question, I'll say this much: that effort shows up in the story, and then some, and I mean that in the best possible way.
As for that indeterminate future you mention? I gotta say, watching as you've grown as a writer in this fandom, seeing you move from strength to strength, always finding new ways to surprise and satisfy my needs as a reader? I am only too excited to see you grow even more. Wishing you only the very best on this front, and for whatever it's worth, you have my every confidence. ^_^
*and incidentally, yes, this is what you can expect for your stories from this point on; not as exhaustive and detailed as I'd like, but it covers the most important stuff, and means that I do in fact get you my thoughts on the stories in a relatively timely fashion. l3