Story Reviews » SA Reviews #80 · 12:04am Mar 28th, 2016
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
“Tell me again, when did we install rocket boosters in the roots of the Seattle’s Angels Secret Underground Base and Tree Fort and turn it into a space shuttle?”
Pav glanced up from the compact in his hand and afforded a brief pause in running his hair behind his ear. “When alex predicted the end of the world and blasted off for Titan in the rumpus room.”
“Wait, that’s what happened to our rumpus room!?” Red Squirrel gawked at the back of Pav’s chair. “Plum said he closed it off because CSquared crashed the Little Tikes into the Cozy Pumper and blew up half the underground base.”
“I miss that Little Tikes…” Razgriz said, wistfully gazing into the distance.
There was a moment of silence.
“Gentlemen—” Professor Plum gave Ferret a nod “—and gentleferret. We lost many fun play cars, scooters, and swing sets in that rumpus room, but we have to remember where we are—who we are. We have a mission to complete. The future of FimFiction depends on us.”
Faintly, in the on-screen display of the rear-facing camera, a mushroom cloud rose from the surface of the earth, and the swirl of clouds shifted with the force of untold megatons of fandom rage.
Every Angel gazed on, silent. Some in horror at the atrocities committed, others in loss of friend and family. But every heart beat with fear—fear of a new and relentless terror.
Flurry Heart fanfiction.
“Celestia help us all,” Squirrel whispered, making the sign of the Two Sisters.
A moment passed where Plum mustered the courage to again take the reins. “Detach thrusters,” he said, sliding his leafed stem over an array of buttons on the arm of his chair.
On the monitor, a flash of light split the base of the tree from the trunk, and the roots fell away to the emptiness of space, along with a bed and a dozen Luna plushies and PJs.
“Wait!” Corejo said. “That was my room!”
“Millions of fic readers are losing more than just their rooms, Core,” Sock said, grim. “They’re losing their faith in the fandom.”
“Which is why we’re here,” Plum cut in. “Sock, put us into orbit.”
“Affirmative.” The starscape ahead shifted upward as the canopy of the Tree Fort dipped to show the curvature of the earth. Sock pulled back on a thruster and pressed a few buttons. A high-pitched hum wound down until it left the bridge in silent weightlessness.
A female voice that sounded an awful lot like that of a ferret came from the overhead. “Orbit achieved. You are now free to move about the cabin.” The little seatbelt lights dinged off.
“Excellent.” Plum unbuckled his seatbelt and floated gently from his seat, twisting around to fix the rest of the Angels lifting from their seats. “Now, we have a job to do. Intern!”
“Yes, sir!” came a muffled voice. There was a thud from the broom closet door. The handle jiggled, then a pause. “What can I do for you, sir?”
“Establish communications with Wanderer D back home.”
“I would love to do that, sir! There would be no greater honor, sir! But, uh, you told me to stand here in the dark, sir! And, uh, you seem to have locked me in, sir!” The door handle jiggled again, and something wooden thudded against the door. “Ow… uh, sir!”
Plum shook his head. “Typical interns,” he muttered. “CV!”
“G’day, mate!” Cerulean Voice stepped up beside Plum’s chair, the only Angel seemingly unaffected by the lack of gravity.
Plum stared at him, blinked, then cleared his throat. “Right. CV, begin transmission…”
ROUND 80
After her life was turned upside-down by Deathwing burning down Ponyville and Equestria getting flooded with adventurers from all of Azeroth, Carrot Top struggles to save her farm from bankrupcy. Opportunities for extra money are everywhere, but the world now plays by new rules. Can she learn them quickly enough? Or is there a different solution altogether waiting for her?
A tie-in story to Capn-Chryssalid's World of Ponycraft
Adventuring isn’t for everyone. sometimes you’re happiest as an NPC. Ponies join the Alliance in World of Warcraft and shenanigans result.
This to me is a perfect crossover fic. I am aware of WoW, and even know a bit about it thanks to being a fan of the early warcraft games and knowing people who play the game (because who doesn’t, it’s like knowing someone who’s had mono) but this is a perfect blend of pony and WoW. Both worlds blend beautifully together, with equal fantasy elements present. I never felt like one world was taking priority over another, both work together to make a greater whole.
Our story follows Carrot Top as she tries to adjust to the new world order and make some money to pay her employees. She decides to give questing a shot but manages to get lost and killed in short order. After having a very annoyed deity explain why being able to come back to life isn’t such a great thing she resurrects and is rescued by her friends Blossomforth and Cloud Kicker. They’re inspired by the pair from the Winning times verse, but much more toned down.
Carrot Top decides adventuring isn’t for her and decides to do what she does best: negotiate a good deal and bake. Thanks to the high prices adventurers pay for good food, she strikes a deal with Berry Punch and starts baking up a storm.
Her good fortune doesn’t last as two goblins move into town and start trying to muscle Berry out of business. Between a bad outbreak originating at the bar and being able to offer more services, things start looking grim. Carrot however comes up with a plan to give them a taste of their own medicine and show them ponies are not so easy to mess with.
This story is a great look at how WoW might go if ponies were to get involved and the minor characters never failed to crack me up. Everything from how can you arrest someone who’s already dead, to how you deal with necrophages is discussed and given it’s own classic pony take.
This one caught my eye, not because of the crossover (though that’s a part of it), but because this is a sister story to the fic that convinced me to give My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic a chance in the first place, World of Ponycraft. In that story, the crossover isn’t just melding the lore together, it also meshes in the mechanics. All those silly quests, job classes, character descriptions hovering above their heads, and many more get poked fun at while also delivering a great adventure story.
Braininthejar took inspiration and decided to build upon the world Capn Chryssalid created. However, instead of focusing on the well known characters going on an adventure, he decided to focus on how such a world would affect the background ponies. We follow the exploits of Carrot Top who is definitely not suited for adventuring. Being a quest giver though, that’s more like it!
Now you may be thinking how a story about a pony who’s essentially an NPC (a term that gets an amusing alternate definition) would be interesting, but the life of a quest giver is fraught with peril. Carrot Top can’t face down the Horde with a fly swatter without having to be resurrected, but what she can do is use her business mind to set up lucrative deals with the local ponies, while also squaring off with two goblins looking to reign in on her territory. And if she needs a rare drop from a roving pack of timberwolves? Hire a random group of adventurers of course! That’s what they’re there for. I got surprisingly invested in Carrot Top’s ordeal as she thinks of new ways to make it in this new world.
Other well-known background ponies team up with Carrot Top to expand the cast, but luckily it doesn’t get so big you won’t be able to follow who’s who. Everypony gets their unique moments to shine when it comes to the face-off at the end.
The biggest hurdle this story faces is that the terminology and in-jokes rely heavily on having played World of Warcraft. However, if you’re a fan, you’ll get a few good chuckles at the game’s expense with some of the sillier aspects of the MMO genre. Even me, who hasn’t played the game, knew enough gaming terminology to follow along and smirk.
If you’re a fan of World of Warcraft and are looking for a little bit more, then you can’t go wrong with this one. Don’t take it too seriously and have a good time.
Anything can fly with enough force behind it, even Scootaloo. An adult and still flightless, Scootaloo poured everything into a jet powered suit to get her into the air. But, with her debts mounting and the Hearth's Warming Derby organisers frantically updating the rules to stop her ever racing again, she has to fly faster than ever before if she wants to keep her wings.
Something the show has always danced around is the issue of failure. Sometimes, ponies just don’t make the cut. Sometimes, ponies just don’t get along. And sometimes pegasi just don’t fly. But this story takes Scootaloo’s disability and literally jets into the sky with it, featuring a Scootaloo who could become Rocketmare with her own custom-built jetpack, and an undying determination to fly under her own power—even if it costs everything.
This story has two major sections, the first where we’re shown just how desperate Scoots is to fly by herself, and a Rainbow Dash determined to carry Scoots her entire life if necessary. This is an interesting tension that I think is somewhat lacking in the show—what happens if Scootaloo really can’t ever fly? Will she be all right being carried by Rainbow Dash, okay with admitting she’s the only pegasus who can’t fly? Will Rainbow Dash be so loyal as to support Scootaloo through every bad time that that entails? The questions are exciting to ponder and this story takes them head-on.
The climax occurs during a race that Scootaloo has been using her titular jet pack to reach, and plans to win with. The jetpack itself is a nice little bit of detail, and its totally in line with Scoots’ personality: it uses her own pegasus magic to power it. Spitfire is, surprisingly, the main antagonist, wheedling Scoots about her circumventing rules with her fancy machine and determined to show her that broken dreams don’t belong in the sky. The race itself is described at an appropriately breakneck pace, something that actually feels like what creatures who can fly at supersonic speeds might do, but the author always makes it clear this is Scoots’ story, using her as a fixed viewpoint.
Scootaloo has a do-or-die attitude that becomes downright self-destructive as the story goes on, and will probably spark some controversy, but pride and ambition always go hand-in-hand with extreme risk. The story, I think, takes the easy way out by the very end, but this is a great study of a future Scoots that is far, far more interesting than the direction the show is taking with her. But that’s just my opinion; either way, you should read this story.
Well, let's just get this out of the way. It's a Scootaloo story on the internet, so you know it's going to be about her being unable to fly and/or her relationship with Dash. In this case, it's both of these things, and if you're anything like me, this is probably going to elicit either an eye-roll or a sigh.
Yeah, pretty much this
And yet, as Obs' Most Dangerous Game competitions set out to prove, just because an idea's been done before, doesn't mean it can't still be done right. And that's what billymorph's done here, with a story filled with break-neck action, tons of character-drama, and high-tech tomfoolery.
Scootaloo, the titular jet-powered pegasus, is tired of being carried around due to her inability to fly. Well, "tired of" is a bit of an understatement. More accurately, she's furious. Not at others, but at herself, and diverts all the rage into her work, pushing herself and her machine further than any thought she could go. And further than she should, arguably, as it becomes rather self-destructive, but I shan't spoil what happens. You'll all have to find that out for yourself.
Probably the biggest surprise in this story was Spitfire, as she's the main antagonist here (aside from, arguably, Scootaloo herself). When first introduced as such, I'll admit to being sceptical of the Wonderbolt's characterisation, but by the end of the fic I was totally on-board with it. Again, no spoilers, but her motivation does justify her actions pretty decently, in my opinion.
One final note: I found the ending to be... a bit on the weak side, if I'm totally honest. It's not a bad ending, and it certainly could have ended a lot worse. I just felt it didn't quite live up to the rest of the story's admittedly pretty high standards. But that may just be me being a fussy old fruit. Meh. Still well worth the read.
#notallpegasi
Sapphire Shores demanded a special kind of lace for her dress to the Grand Galloping Gala, a style which you may only use if you get personal permission from its designer, an extremely picky frontier pony from Stitchtown, the fashion capital of the wild west. This sets Rarity on the course of an adventure which tests both her physical limits and her skills as a designer. If she plays her card right, she may even save her own town.
It's a tough life out on the frontier, a life on the edge, without rules, without order, where the difference between death and survival hinges on your speed with a... sewing kit?
In Equestria's West, Rarity has to seek out and gain permission to use a very particular form of lace, from a mare who all but rules a remote fashion capital. Secret Societies (after a fashion), confusing challenges, donkeys (!!) and a set of characters that would be at home in Blazing Saddles make for a stomping read.
The stand-out in this is Rarity herself, of course. As she faces off against Ramarack, her stubbornness and determination shine like a lake in the desert. This is the Rarity that we came to love on the show, unable to back down from a challenge once she's set herself to it, or when her honour (not to mention her reputation as the greatest fashionista in all Equestria) is on the line.
In a world where duels are fought with needles and thread, where ponies live and die by the cut of their couture or their ability to put on a show, Rarity fights to take home the prize before she inevitably rides away into the sunset.
Welcome to the Budellini Western.
This is the perfect fic for anyone who’s ever wanted fashion to be more meaningful. If you’ve ever felt fashion needed more combativeness, this is the fic for you. If you’re less a fan of that then look anyways for the Western flair and Opal getting put in her place. Not to mention amazing ocs, solid friendships and just a teensy bit of shipping.
This is an alternate west take from AAAAAAPLEOOSA and it does a really solid job of it. It imagines the Wild West has their own fashion capital, complete with eccentric fashionistas and it’s own strange code of rules. Instead of gun duels, we get fashion duels.
Rarity has an order request using some exceptionally rare lace and starts out to get it with her usual ambition and quickly discovers she may be over her head. She doesn’t let that stop her, and plunges gamely onwards, never shirking any of the strange challenges set before her. They range from being dragged behind a mule to a fashion showdown in the middle of main street to dealing with a very spoilt filly.
The characters really shine in this piece and they feel as though they could even be a part of the show we all know and love. Tamarack herself feels a bit like how Rarity could’ve been if things had gone differently early on and Chaps Chaparall cracks me up with her fruit hat.
There are all kinds of treasures to be found in Canterlot's antiques district: out of print books, out of fashion clothing, baroque-styled furniture...and the occasional object of unimaginable magical power.
Fortunately, one of the Elements of Harmony has found it.
Unfortunately, it's Rainbow Dash. Can the pegasus be trusted to wield such power responsibly? Can anypony?
“Be careful what you wish for.”
This foreboding little aesop gets used quite a bit in storytelling, from literature to the occasional one-off episode of a few television series. Typically, it’s a lesson that always gets learned the hard way, whether the vehicle is a mystical wish-granting artifact or something a little more mundane.
In If Wishes Were Ponies, Rainbow Dash stumbles across an ancient lamp while going antiquing with Rarity in Canterlot, and while the setup of the story sounds almost ridiculous enough to be its own story idea, the meat of this fic is Rainbow’s encounter with the djinn inside the lamp. The genie of the lamp offers her three wishes and she eagerly accepts, with predictable results.
From there, this becomes a very animated tale that never breaks pace and never stops entertaining, even during those moments when the djinn takes a minute to exposit on the rules and nature of the lamp’s magic. The djinn turned out to be one of my favorite characters here. She sort of fits the archetype of the sardonic butler, having a dry personality yet willing to serve the pegasus who freed her from the lamp. Of course, I use the word ‘serve’ a bit loosely here. While the djinn is willing to grant Rainbow Dash’s wishes and explain the mechanics of genie magic in a way she’s able to understand, she bears little sympathy for Rainbow when her wishes backfire spectacularly on her, at least initially. Everyone else who appears is portrayed well too, from Rainbow herself to the rest of the Mane 6 when they make their appearances, and each one adds to the wackiness of whatever scene they’re in.
If you’re a Rainbow Dash fan and want to read a fun story about her, If Wishes Were Ponies is the fic for you. If you want to see Rainbow being an idiot and having that come back to bite her hilariously, then this is the fic for you too. And if you’re just looking for a delightful pony comedy story, well then what the hell are you still doing here? Go on, read it already or add it to your RL list.
In full recognition that I’m downtalking the story a little more than one might expect, I’ll start my review by noting that If Wishes Were Ponies was not, for me, the laugh riot that it seems to have been for Phazon. This may or may not just be me—too rarely do I get more than a chuckle out of even the comedies we feature here on SA, and while I did at least chuckle here at a few choice moments, I could also point at things like gags I which thought ran too long for their payoff.
Still, I was perfectly happy viewing the story in a more Slice of Life–tinted light (but on that note, I’m not entirely certain the Adventure tag was the best choice for categorizing the fic, so heads up). And the major draw here, for me, was the characters. Fun interplay between what I took to be carefully exaggerated versions of the familiar faces. A nice, decently original personality for and/or take on the genie OC. Silly situations that arose naturally from said characters rather than feeling forced just to feed a gimmick.
There’s no more I could say about the plot that Phazon hasn’t already said which wouldn’t be spoiling past the setup. Also, apart from a few pervasive punctuation quibbles, I’ll state that I found the editing to be decently well done—not very much to trip over as you go. And while, again, I wasn’t as struck by the comedy as much as I always hope to be, snappiness can certainly be found buoying up parts that needed it.
Take my review as an addendum to Phazon’s, I suppose. If Wishes Were Ponies is a fairly short piece, and even if I might’ve caused you to temper your hopes a little on the comedy front (though, obviously, everybody’s allowed to have a different sense of humor than mine), there are things to be gotten out of reading it. Give it a shot.
The hum of the transmission feed cut out and the room fell silent. Every Angel stared at the static on screen.
“Did… Did they get it?” Corejo asked.
Nobody wanted to answer. A long moment passed before Plum found the will to speak. “I don’t know.”
His voice sounded weak. He cleared his throat and busied himself with the panel of buttons on his chair. “I don’t know,” he said, bolder.
The tick-tack of his stem alone filled the room and slowly it became apparent that all eyes were upon him. What was to come, only the Sisters knew, and by their mercy would it be so. He let a silent thought drift through his head that they were all a part of their divine plan.
“What do we do now?”
The question weighed on every mind in the room (and broom closet), and lifting a mountain would have been easier than finding the courage to voice an answer. But he was their leader, and they needed him now more than ever.
“We wait.” Plum stared at the monitor, where another flash of light lit up the dark side of the earth. “And we pray.”
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
mfw that intro
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3831557 It's almost as if you can't accept the majesty of Flurry Heart into your heart.
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.....ugh.
Why.
Why did there have to be a filly princess?
I hate you so much hasbro....please end me...
Man, there's been 80 of these? ... I feel old.
3832816
I've been writing SA reviews for nearly three years now.
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3832871
My story was in the second feature. I just... it's been so long.
1000 years in the future, a Luna plushie will return to earth, amidst dark legends of it's own origin. There will be much rejoicing.
Hm. There's a very sore thumb in there amongst the recognised reviewers we've come to know, and I hope - having gotten to know and marvel at his irascible wit - he's not a guest for long amongst you cherubs... I mean, wings AND a halo? Pft, he's put up with me for years! He SO deserves the mad paradise bling!
Way to go, Phazon! I'm so proud of you! You're my good friend, and I cherish your harsh, demeaning comments! ... er, in a beneficial way. Anyway! Still proud!
PS: I am not his alt account.
PPS: I removed the bold, italics and bright red colour from his name in this post. Out of respect. Might put it back later.