Story Reviews » SA Reviews Round 75 · 1:09am Jan 17th, 2016
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
“I need that write-up on my desk by four!”
“Where’s that review of Holder's Boulder?”
“Incoming one-hundred thousand word story!”
RTStephens hid under his desk and covered his ears in the vain hope that drowning out the insistent commands of the Seattle’s Angels admins would help his case. It did not.
“We know you’re there, newbie!”
“You think we’re going to go easy on ya because you just started?”
“If you’re going to hide, the least you could have done is set your Skype to away. Pheh, amature.”
“I’m doing the best I can!” RTStephens cried out from underneath his work station. “This is all too sudden. Too intense. Too not getting paid for any of this!”
“If that’s the best sob story you have, better consider a new line of work.”
“There’d better be a set of reviews past this intro by the time viewers stop reading it.”
RTStephens firmed up his features, balled his fists, and crawled out from under his makeshift fortress of ineptitude. “Fine, you want reviews? I’ll give you reviews! This is Seattle’s Angels number seventy five!”
ROUND 75
Well before Big Mac came to the Pie family rock farm, there was another pony who caught Marble Pie's eye. That pony was very different from Big Mac... and at the time, so was Marble Pie. But her oldest sister, Limestone, was there to watch and to worry.
Well now, this was a ship that I never foresaw sailing. I feel like I should bow out to let alex deal with it, or something, but that would rely on him not being a dead buttface with a butt for a face.
F
What we have here is a story that really builds on characters who've not had massive amounts of screentime to themselves, and does so in a really interesting way. It's not afraid to take these characters way beyond what we've seen, and expands into directions I'd never considered much, but can completely believe. From Marble's shyness, Limestone's jadedness, and Trixie's... Trixieness, all are present by the end, and with damn good explanations as to how they became that way.
Set sometime between the two Trixie appearances in-show, not only does it provide a solid explanation for her whereabouts during this period, but also gives the Pie family a lot of depth. And it's really welcome, honestly. It never quite made sense that such a diverse selection of personalities would all be 100% satisfied with poking rocks all day. Maud excepted.
Limestone's perspective is the one we occupy for this story, as we watch her struggle to help her family as much as she can, stuck in a life she can't help but feel is going nowhere fast. Frustrated, yes. Angry, for sure. But much less cynical than the Limestone we know, and definitely possessing hope for the future. Limestone herself is an interesting character, and but isn't always the focus. A lot of attention is paid to her little sister, Marble, presented as a naive and caring young soul. Much more confident than the one we see in Hearthbreakers. Hell, even Trixie is shown different to the mare we’ve seen. But the key part is it’s a believable difference. While technically not in-character, it’s a small, manageable stretch, and one that the author uses to great effect.
I’m not gonna lie, this is probably my favourite story tagged Romance that’s come out in a good many months. It's a rare beast, a shipping story with properly realised, fully fleshed-out characters. And when they do come along, I think they should be celebrated. Don't you?
The writers of MLP:FiM try their best to cover all their bases to avoid plot holes and such. However, sometimes they leave space available for fans to fill in themselves. When fans take the opportunity to do that, we often we get answers we never knew we wanted answering.
Magic on the Rocks takes advantage of once such opening. Taking place sometime after Boast Busters but before Magic Duel, we follow what may have happened during that time through the eyes of Limestone Pie. Yeah, you heard me. That hardflank with a short temper and a sharp mouth. While not written in first person perspective, we still get her thoughts and opinions on matters surrounding her, filtered through her experience on living on a rock farm. It’s actually very effective, as Limestone acts as a neutral third party, weighing the pros and cons of any decisions presented to her. It lets the readers determine if she’s right or wrong in how she acts.
Not to say that Limestone is a passive character in this. She does make her own choices and acts on them, for good or for bad. She’s a very well rounded person trying to do the best thing for herself and everyone involved.
As I hinted above, we get some answers to questions we never thought to ask. Where did that pink crystal mine under the Pie’s land appear from? Why does Marble Pie not speak during Hearthbreakers? How did Trixie manage to get all that money for the Alicorn Amulet, anyway? It ties all of these in a very clever, and logical, manner with the episodes the story is pulling from and left me fulfilled by the end.
Even though we get some answers, there are some questions left for us as well. Since Limestone can’t be everywhere at once, we don’t get the full picture, particularly with what goes on in Trixie’s head when certain opportunities open up for her. It’s a nice way to leave things up to the imagination of the reader, and let them decide if Limestone did the right thing or not.
If this all sounds interesting, give this one a try. Marble Pie has hogged all the attention from the fans, so it’s nice to see the other Pie sister get some love. She may just end up being your favorite by the end.
You may never have heard of him, but Dr. Caballeron is one of the most infamous treasure hunters in the world. As a pony whose whole purpose in life is to loot ancient artifacts for bits, you would assume he is an arrogant, prideful and smug pony who you would love to buck in the face; and you'd be mostly right.
Still, even a pony like that can swallow his pride when he needs help, and there is nopony he can trust more than his former partner, Ms. Daring Do.
Oh, man. We are all about those character-building for the ponies who've had next-to-no screentime, today, aren't we? And who can blame us, when we've got stories like this one out there.
Before I dive into the story itself, I just want to gush about Dr. Caballeron's name for a moment, here. It stems from the spanish word Caballero, which has a couple meanings. The first is Gentleman/Knight/Scholar. The second is Horseman. As in, someone who rides/takes care of horses.
It's a pun on both his character, as a spanish-sounding gentleman, and a pony pun at the same time.
Isn't that great?!
But I digress. As much as I love his name, Dr. Caballeron isn't the only character in this story. In fact, he's arguably not the focus, and neither is Daring Do. In the end, the biggest star of the show is the past these two world-famous explorers once shared, and the bonds that were broken when they stopped sharing. It's absolutely gorgeous, in that way. What they once were juxtaposes beautifully with the present events; Caballeron seeking out Daring in a bar, seemingly to taunt her about his latest acquisition.
There's a lot of depth here, for a character with such little screentime. Admittedly, the strength of the character he presented during that screen time gave authors like Comet Burst a lot to work with, but that just makes it all the more interesting when the author takes them in a completely different way than the one one might have expected, from such a short glance.
All in all, a very satisfying, suitably Indiana Jones-esque character piece. Go check it out.
Daring Do is one of the more blatant pop culture references that Friendship is Magic has made, but one that’s so much fun that we can’t help but love her. What better way to introduce an adventuring pony with a knack for finding ancient artifacts scattered all over the world than by copying the most famous man to make digging in sand pits look cool, Indiana Jones? However, FiM didn’t stop there, introducing a corrupt and conniving rival in Caballeron, a character molded after one of Indiana’s more ruthless enemies, René Belloq.
One of my favorite scenes from Raiders of the Lost Arc is when Jones and Belloq are just talking in the cafe, Belloq saying everything he can to get under Indiana’s skin. Comet Burst pays homage to that scene here, ponifying it in clever ways. In a sleazy, non-descript bar, Caballeron seeks Daring Do out, not to take her out of the picture, but to ask for her help. It’s a wonderful bi-play of two characters who started in the same profession, but have taken different paths that set them at odds with each other. It plays around with the idea that you keep your friends close and your enemies even closer.
Comet Burst gives some interesting depth to Caballeron. He’s more than what he seems, even though his end goals are for profit. Through Caballeron’s talk with Daring Do, we also see some hints of fleshing out the mare herself, getting a glimpse of the two’s past and how it has affected her. I came away both surprised and a little heart broken.
While the story is just one scene, it’s complete in it’s setup and conclusion. It also teases us with the promise of a grand adventure about to take place, leaving me wanting to know more. A mark of a good story is giving us what we did and did not expect and drawing us into the world these characters live in. I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing a sequel, but I’m content with how it ended.
So, don’t go burying this story in the desert for a thousand years waiting for it to be worth something. It’s priceless now, so go check it out!
The winter’s wind is blowing hard.
Legend says that little ponies who don't honor the spirit of friendship on Hearth's Warming Eve will draw the attention of a beast who will take them away forever. Tonight good fillies should hide their heads... because Grogar is coming to town.
Well then.
This was a thing.
Thank you for checking out my reviews! They're all done now. Nothing more to see here
No? That's not enough? Well, okay then. This was a thing. Based on the Krampus legends of old. So if you know your Germanic folklore (or your mediocre-at-best Christmas movies), then you've probably got an idea of what's in store, here.
For those that don't, Krampus is kind of like the Ghost of Christmas' NOPE. The evil counterpart to Saint Nicholas (one of the precursors to Santa Claus), he does a bit more than putting a lump of coal in your stocking. As in, "whip bad children and drag the worst offenders down into the depths of hell" levels of "a bit more". Full of Christmas Cheer, that fellow.
So now that I've explained some of the inspiration behind this story, and you can see the Horror/Thriller tags on this fic... you can probably guess where this one's going. Featuring Grogar! Everybody's favourite G1 villain! Or... at least in the top five. Top ten, for sure. Right, guys?
F
All joking aside, Jade Ring here does a fantastic job of building a truly fantastical villain. Grogar reads how a proper Grimm Fairie Tales monster should, being all horns, chains, and horrible unknowableness, with little tinkling bells thrown in. He's menacing, and monstrous, and a bloody great threat, just as he should be. He's one of the villains that you don't beat. You survive.
And that's pretty much all I've got to say about that. Between the Krampus legend giving you your basic plot, and plenty of Gushing about Grogar's suitable levels of menacingness (I don't care if that's not a word), the only other thing to talk about would be the ponies in the story. And they're... pretty good. Most of them, anyways. The biggest thing I struggled to get through in this story is the Button Mash/Sweetie Belle shipping subplot. It's... tolerable, but thankfully doesn't occupy a lot of screentime.
One last thing to make note of. The ending to this story hit me like a goddamn freight train. I don't honestly know what I was expecting, but hell, it wasn't that. No spoilers. Read it yourselves, ya filthy animals.
You know how in video game RPGs, where non-playable characters love to tell you the most obscure legends and rumors? You know how ninety-nine percent of the time, those legends and rumors turn out to be true?
If you ever manage to find a portal to Equestria, apply that logic to the world of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. You’ll live longer. Trust me.
It’s Hearth's Warming Eve in the Apple house, and all the good little fillies (and one colt) are gathered to spend a wonderful night hanging out and being besties with each other. At least, that’s the plan going in. This takes place after Crusaders of the Lost Mark, so Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara are still learning how to get along with the CMC. It’s not easy after all the negative history the two groups share and tensions quickly rise when Silver Spoon lets it slip that Santa Hooves doesn’t exist. Things calm down a bit when Granny Smith tells them the tale of Grogar, who’s this story’s version of the Krampus, and warns them that bickering will only summon him and cause him to capture naughty fillies for his nefarious means.
Naturally, the former bullies don’t buy it and continue to rile up the others. What follows is a tense and creepy descent into panic and madness as characters are picked off, one-by-one, by a mysterious and menacing force.
I love the imagery and buildup that starts the story off, gradually raising the dread and tension until it ramps up to peak paranoia and insanity. It’s very Lovecraftian in how the characters gradually decline in rationality, letting primal instincts take over when the manure starts hitting the fan. The author has a good grasp of playing up the unknown, leaving the characters and readers alike to wonder just what’s going on and how they are going to manage surviving the encounter.
All the characters are pretty well utilized, though there is one set of ponies that may have some readers rolling their eyes at how fandom pandering they are. They didn’t bother me though, and it lead to a very satisfying Moment of Badass.
A good show of thrills and horror make this a great way to balance out all the cute and sweet Christmas stories that flood the fandom this time of year. Take a gander, but keep the lights on afterwards.
STORY 4
Solace, by Pearple Prose
A young Celestia and Luna venture into the Whitetail Wood in pursuit of the Star Eater, a monstrous magic-eating dragon.
The cost of victory is greater than either could have expected.
First of all, I'm contractually obligated to post the following:
Blame Pear
Second of all, WOOOOOOORLD-BUUUUUIIIIIILDIIIIIIING. GOD I love me some world-building. And this is a damn good example of it. Short, sweet, and full of nice little headcanons to build upon. Starring only Celestia and Luna, they embark upon a journey to slay the dreaded Eater of Stars, which is an absolutely awesome sounding creature.
Solace definitely isn't an epic-length novel, not even breaking the 2k words mark. Concise, it focusses on contrasting/comparing the personalities of the two Alicorn sisters. The two aren't quite the same as the versions we've seen in the show (it is set thousands of years in the past, after all), but the author clearly sets in motion the events that form who they will be. It's really clever how he managed to do that, actually, considering the low word count. Every interaction between the two, and even between them and the outside world, further reinforces their relationships, characters, and their manner of thinking. It's really quite lovely, and I would definitely love to see more, similar stories from this author (or any author) in future
[Insert Obligatory Epic Fight Sequence Here]
Man, we really are all about the stories building on side-characters this round, aren't we? Well, suck it up, cos they're all solid ways to spend your afternoon.
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna’s past is one of the most enduring mysteries that the show has only hinted at. We’ve gotten a few snippets here and there chronicling some of the highlights, enough to wet the fandom’s appetites and wanting more. All we know for sure is that it was a busy year for the sisters one-thousand years ago.
This story does something similar, giving us just a glimpse of an adventure that probably became just a footnote in the totality of their reign. It’s set during Discord’s era of chaos and the two alicorns are doing what they can to set things right. Their task this time around is to slay a beastie that Discord set loose, one that’s eating up magic and draining the life out of the Whitetail Wood.
Such a setting would lead you to believe that we’re about to embark on a quest of some magnitude, but the author keeps things short and sweet. It’s the byplay between Celestia and Luna that are the highlights here, showing a closeness and camaraderie that we don’t get to see much of in the show. You believe that these two share a close bond even in the short amount of time we get to spend with them.
It’s also worth noting how different the two behave. Given that this takes place over a millenia ago, Celestia and Luna are much younger and have yet to grow into their leadership roles that we have seen. It’s a neat quality of this story how even a small adventure such as this can change the two in ways that aren’t immediately apparent but will have a profound impact later down the line.
If there’s one thing that left me disappointed with this story, it’s the encounter with the monster. I was hoping for a little more meat to the fight given the buildup. However, it’s not the goal here to turn into an action story, but rather the journey and the ramifications of it.
If what you want is a taste of sisterly bonding in a world that’s much different than the one we know today, give this one a shot. The fans agree that there is never enough Tia and Lulu.
“Meh, I’ve seen better.”
RTStephens’ lowered his head, unable to make eye contact.
“Think we should keep him around?”
“Maybe. He did pull through with the round, so there is that. Besides, if he’s not in, who’s going to do the roun? You?” Raz chuckled, slightly.
“Alright, newbie. You’re in, but on one condition.”
With renewed hope in his eyes, RTStephens looked up to the admins. “Yes?”
One by one, the Seattle’s Angels admins took off their shoes and tossed them at RTStephens’ feet.
“You’re polishin’ our shoes before every round from now on. Better make ‘em shiny or you’re out of here.”
With that, the admins, sans footwear, walked away, leaving RTStephens with naught but a rag, a bottle of shoe polish, and a glimmer of self-respect blossoming within his chest.
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
Hey everyone! If you've made it down here, you're either seconds away from posting an angry rant at us for being terrible at what we do, or you just read the whole thing. Hell, maybe you even enjoyed it!
Either way, you may be interested to know that you could be posting in siteblogs too! Either come do what we do, and help find stories that deserve more exposure than they got, or go prove how awful we are at everything, and that we're total scrubs m8
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Come check it out!
That Grogar fic sounds fantastic. :D
Okay...
So many brilliant stories right in front of me, yet so little time to read them all.
Wait, it's actually possible to join the Angels? I thought the canon was closed forever. Hallelujah, I guess. (if you asked me, I probably wouldn't say no... well, maybe after this semester)
hdwallpapers.in/walls/the_75th_hunger_games_quarter_quell_district_12-wide.jpg
3692119
The angels are looking for recruits all the time. However, there isn't really a process to apply. It's more of a "Don't find us, we'll find you" sorta deal.
3691783
You'll love it. Ehehehehe...
Thank you for the kind words on Magic on the Rocks! I feel I should mention, because I wasn't clear from reading your reviews if you knew this, but Trixie working on the rock farm between her episodes is canon. The details, not so much, but she was definitely there for at least a little while, as we learned in Magic Duel. Also, this prompted a good dozen or so different Marble/Trixie (or Inkie/Trixie at the time, since we were a long way from the Pie family getting names back then) pictures for me to choose among. The ship has basically vanished in the intervening couple of years, but I don't want to take credit for making it up.
Congrats RT, you're an intern.
I was wondering why I had suddenly gotten favs and comments on that story.
Thanks, SA!
P.S. Are there open interviews or is this you need a man on the inside?
3692833
I'll refer you to 3692169
I wonder which story I'll read first... lol
Professor Plum.
I Love You.
Witty and humorous all the way to just before the rant-a-rage box and I loved it.
Also ur scrubs m8 :D