Top 10 Best (Worst) Comments on "Queen Chrysalis Compilation" · 7:26pm Sep 28th, 2015
Believe it or not, the above video was my first contribution to the Pony fandom, way back in Ye Olden Days of April 2012. If you weren't there for the weeks following the finale of season two, you would not have witnessed the fandom turning into the Chrysalis Channel--all Chryssie, all the time. This Obselescence story, spoofing the phenomenon, sums it up succinctly.
Oddly enough, no one made a compilation of Chryssie's scenes. So I did. It wasn't initially as popular as I expected, so I forgot about it for a long time after. But three-ish years later, it's somehow accumulated 71,244 views. Not too shabby, since I don't really know how to market videos and have made no others. (I was all set to make a Principal Chrysalis compilation, but noooo...)
Now, everyone knows YouTube comment sections are cesspits of stupidity. But sometimes, in the spirit of a million monkeys on a million typewriters, insightful statements do pop up.
This post is not about those.
No, it's about those comments so utterly insane as to make you cringe, laugh, and stare incredulously all at once. Here are the top ten of my, er, "favorites."
#10:
dam her voice send chills down my spine and my quills
#9:
Am I the only one that thinks she looks like a spoon in some shots?
#8:
Equestria is Planet (i thought cuz chrysalis in s2 finale said that questria has more love than any place she ever encountered cuz she couldnt have drained other countries so yeah i think changelings are aliens <3
#7:
Wow who knew Rosedust and her G1 Flutterponies transformed into Vampire-Zombie Ponies who seek to conquer Equestria instead of helping it
#6:
all hail the queen!!! I want her too be real!! i want to serve her and tell her how much we all love her!!! all hail Queen Chrysalis!!!!!!!!
#5
Please, Get Chrysalis to Season 5 and maybe, a sequel to the Rainbow Rocks 'cause I saw green on Adagio's eyes. Could that be a Changeling?
#4:
I WILL DEFEAT YOU CHRYSALIS WITH MY FOUR LIGHTSABERS
#3:
This video is so stupid!!!
The horse voice is a bitch
#2:
9001/10 would bang
And the #1 best-worst comment of them all (you don't have to read the whole thing):
I Know where she and the changelings had blown off to! While they were blown up by Princess Cadence & Shining Armor, Chrysalis and her army gained back control of flying and looked around and noticed that she's in the Pacific Northwest of the U. S. A.! Her army saw a strange tower a. k. a. the Space Needle, also saw 2 weird stadiums a. k. a. Century Link and Safe co field (homes of Seahawks and Mariners). Chrysalis saw Key Arena in the city's center. she turned around and saw tall skyscrapers. They thought a moment and realized they're in Seattle! She and her army need more look see to find out what (state) they're in. They flew more and saw a round dome a. k. a. the Tacoma Dome and saw that they're in Tacoma. Chrysalis with her changeling vision, she found more skyscrapers ahead!
They flew over there and found out that they're in Bellevue. She found a mountain in the distance a. k. a. Mount Rainier. On their way to a place called Yakima, she went past several places in this state. They are Kent, Renton, Tukwila, The Cascades (Stevens pass, Snoquamie pass and White pass), and Mount Rainier National Park. They got there and found a dome that is similar to the King dome, called the Sun Dome. Changeling #378 said, "Where are we?" Chrysalis replied, "Hmm. I don't know. We better look for more places here." Chrysalis and the army flew quickly to the University of Washington (or U Dub; home of the Huskies or Dawgs) when Changeling #200 saw another weird tower that said "Lakewood" on it. The changeling asked the queen if they wanted to check it out and she said "Yeah, let's do it.", and they flew over there to Lakewood and on Chrysalis' P. O. V., she saw the "Lakewood Towne Center". Chrysalis stopped and said, "My Changelings, I believe that we need to split up! Go find everything in this state were in! GO! NOW!" They went everywhere and Changeling #648 found the "Lakewood Church". Changeling #847 saw "The News Tribune Factory".
Changeling #101 had just found the KOMO 4 Station HQ. Changeling #582 saw the KING 5 HQ. Changeling #300 found the Q 13 FOX HQ. But before long, Changeling #1 found a human (you) at [redacted]. Changeling #1 shouted, "CHRYSALIS! ARMY! OVER HERE! COME LOOK WHAT I FOUND!" Chrysalis and the army rushed to where Changeling #1's at. You look up and you said, "What the Heck?" You went outside and shouted, "O M G! I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I SAW!" Chrysalis said, "Muahahahahahahahahaha! Hey you. one of my changelings found you." "It would be me", said Changeling #1. You bow down to Chrysalis and said, "Welcome to America!" "America, hmm." thought Chrysalis. "Hmm." goes the army. You said, "Do you wanna know what state you're in?" "YES!", they shouted. "You guys are in the state of Washington, a. k. a. the Ever... Green state (you thought I was gonna say "Ever free"), you said. Chrysalis asked, "What are gonna do in this so-called "Washington State?" You reply, "2 words, TAKE OVER!" "WHAT? YOU REALLY MEAN IT?", Chrysalis Shouted with excitement. "Uh-huh, 'cause you're my Favorite villain and you can make a hive next to my apartment. Changeling #436 added, "And we can make a changeling out of you?" You paused for a moment. Put on "Bulletproof" by La Roux, and answered, "I... Always... wanted... TO BE A CHANGELING!" Chrysalis said, "YES, THAT'S THE SPIRIT... Uh. your name?" You said, "Come on Chrysalis, ya should know me! Name's Scott, remember? Chrysalis reply, "Oh YEAH, COME ON SCOTT, JOIN THE SWARM! THE SWARM WANTS YOU!" They made the Hive (2583 square ft. tall & 3000 square ft. wide with floors for you) and you went in and they put you in the cocoon with music proofed and you play "Bulletproof" while it changes you to a changeling (that cocoon changes you in 3 min).
When it's finished, you went out and you're black all over with your hair the same, holes on your arms (not hands) and legs (not feet), wings to fly and sharp teeth. "O! M! G! THIS! IS! THE MOMENT OF MY LIFE! THANKS YOU CHRYSALIS!" "You're welcome Scott, you are the new Changeling #1." You said, "Thanks. LOOKOUT EVERY PONY! A NEW CHANGELING IS IN TOWN!"
#1 is what is this I don't even.
I feel vaguely responsible for bad fanfiction about Chrysalis in Seattle.
And that's how Equestria was destroyed.
This would be awesome.
3427731 That's actually some background fluff in a 'Megan returns to equestria' fic called 'The Elements of Harmony and the Savior of Worlds'.
#10:
Fucking furries.
#9:
...I ...Is she the little spoon of the big spoon?
#8:
Goddamnit Michale Bay, Habro said no!
#7:
...Go on.
#6:
Back off, bitch!
#5
I agree, more Chrysalis. WHY THE FUCK WASN'T SHE THE VILLAIN FOR FRIENDSHIP GAMES!? WHY?!
#4:
...What?
#3:
Oddly specific...
#2:
Oh look, my comment is here!
#1:
I... I... fuck.
whatever you do, don't stumble across a video that has anything to do with sonic the hedge hog. Seriously, don't unless you want to have to pour what's left of your brain from out of the gaps in your keyboard.
No! She bug!
A spoon.
I don't even.
There's a trollfic in this.
3428295
Already been done better.
Cheese grater.
3428483
mwuh :V
#7 is referencing (poorly) a theory that the flutterponies of Dream Valley were the precursors to the Changelings of Equestria. It was an interesting evolution and had some compelling (if wholly fabricated) evidence to back it up that got jossed later.
#1
Kyrie elaison
I don't even
#1.
That's all you can say. It is number one. It was number one when time began. It will be number one when it ends. John Stalvern weeps tears of pure defeat and supplantation at its incomprehensibly beautiful prose.