A smut-peddling armchair general with a love for writing and ponies.
Hasn't it? It's been over a year since I posted a story, and longer than that since I actually watched the show. There's a few reasons for it, but I imagine the prudent question is if I'm coming back or not.
Well, the prudent answer is it's not that simple.
Alright, down 1/3 a bottle of bourbon and bored. So what do I talk about? Uhh, lemme think.
Okay, oddly enough, whiskey fills my head with sad country music. Look up Whiskey Lullaby. That' s the main one. Technically the only one but my life is young.
Or whatever it is you celebrate.
Pretty sure it's my turn to be the drunk uncle this year. My scotch is ready. 
It sure isn't just being sad... Honestly, it might not be sadness at all. Feels more like... emptiness. Loneliness. Like nothing matters, and everything is distant. Like being in pain, but there's no pain. A constant sense of just wanting something to be over, even if you don't know what that something is...
1,000 followers, huh? I gotta admit, it doesn't feel like I thought it would.
Okay, not really.
That's better.
Anyway, rather belatedly, I remembered that I'm supposed to be pretentious and assume that people want to hear me talk. So, I guess I'll do that now. Anyone who wants to know more about me, or my writing, ask me anything!
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How'd you find yourself in the MLP fandom?
AMA huh? if down is the smell of the number green, and i put out an apple pie to cool 15 minutes earlier, how long would it take a bottemless pot to fill?
Hooray for horsefame!
So what's next?
What got you into writing, and writing clop?
3328467
Fallout Equestria, of all things.
This was in 2011. While I was aware of ponies at the time, it wasn't until I found Fallout Equestria that I really tried anything to do with them. I'd been really into Fallout for a few years by that point, so when I found the crossover with ponies it sparked my interest. I utterly devoured that story, even though I hadn't watched a single episode of MLP. I finished what was written of FoE, and then moved on to the show itself, which was in season 2 at the time.
3328479
What do you mean? Cast iron or stainless steel pot?
3328482
More horsefame. Or at least more horse porn.
3328484
Writing itself? That was mostly role-playing, starting about eight years ago. Nothing smutty, actually, but with original characters in a video game universe. That was where I developed my real interest in writing, and began practicing and learning various storytelling elements and the like.
As for clop, it's because I was into it for a while, and once I happened across a group post on this site with an intriguing story idea. I decided I may as well give it a shot, wrote the first chapter of Futa Wrestling, and it turned out that people actually liked it. Who'da thought?
After that, my own ideas just kept flowing. And so I kept writing.
That's the simple answer. The pretentious spiel is a bit more, well, pretentious.
Why do I write clop? Because it's fun, for one. There's a certain technique to it, a flair that demands particular attention to detail and characterization. I find that I really enjoy taking disparate characters and making them work. I like making people tilt their heads and go "huh, that actually works pretty well."
Beyond that, I like figuring out what makes people tick. That's in general, not just cloppy stuff, but I find sexuality to be particularly interesting. Drawing links from one fetish to another, trying to figure out the reasons for them and the primal motives behind them all. It's fascinating, like a puzzle you can solve and yet never finish.
That's why I often find myself writing about fetishes I don't actually have. It just interests me, trying to understand the rationale behind them and putting them into practice.
Plus, I gotta admit, it's a pretty great feeling knowing that you've gotten someone off with words.
3328609 The pizza pan is cast iron and the block of cheese is protected by stainless steel wool.
What is your favourite fetish in clopfiction?
3328643
Anything to do with cum except for gokkun and inflation. Facials, bukakke in general, and internal cumshots are my favorites.
This bears good tidings for the possibility of a Maudity in the future :V
Who's your favorite character to write as/for, and inversely, your least-favorite?
Also, can I call you Son of Darf?
Off the top of your head, what would be your top 3 must read stories on here?
3328684
Favorites? Depends on my mood. Soarin is fun to write, as is Thunderlane. Twilight/Dusk is an obvious choice because I'm pretty similar to her, so she's natural to write. Fluttershy is fun too, and Discord and Pinkie are great for comedy.
Least favorite? Trenderhoof is one I've written a couple of times, and I'm afraid I just don't like him. Big Mac is okay, but the "huge, strong, quiet stallion" shtick gets old rather fast for me. I also don't write Shining Armor much, for some reason, even though I don't actually dislike him.
Why would you call me the Son of Darf? I'm more like the traitorous uncle, if anything.
3328732
Fallout Equestria, Cry for Eternity, and An Escort's Journal
Why have you been spreading lies that I squeak? :V
You like King of the Hill and/or Team Fortress 2?
3328875
Lies? Lies are untruths. I speak only truths!
It's true, I'm a terrible liar.
3328889
King of the Hill is great, though I haven't watched it in a while. I've only played TF2 a little, and it's not my thing, but I very much enjoyed the various SFM videos Valve has released for it.
Do you have any must-read books, or at least a favourite genre?
How's your understanding of orbital mechanics?
What's the most unconventional non-crack pairing you can think of? And, just for the hell of it, what's the dumbest crack pairing you can think of?
3328811
What, don't want the opportunity to use a Second Cumming joke?
How did you discover mlp in the first place? And mlp:fim in specific?
And how did you come up with your username? And your avatar? (been curious about that for some time now)
3328910
The Dresden Files is a great series. Urban fantasy stuff, and it's my current favorite.
Orbital mechanics? Err, I know the difference between high orbit and low orbit...
Unconventional non-crack... How about Zecora/Fluttershy? Bonding over their shared interest in nature, and I could imagine Fluttershy being somewhat entranced by Zecora's rhymes. She's also exotic enough that Fluttershy might be able to get over her fear of judgement, given that pony social norms don't necessarily apply to zebras.
As for a crack pairing, let's say TirekxPinkie Pie. You can even make it work by chalking it up to Pinkie Pie showing Tirek that not all ponies are bad and that power isn't everything or whatever.
3328920
i.imgur.com/7ky811k.gif
3328947
The answer to your first question is my first reply here.
As for your second, my name is simple enough. "Marshal" because I've always been something of a history buff, with a particular interest in military history, and I also play a lot of strategy games and the like (particularly grand strategy). "Twilight" just comes from the fact she's my favorite pony, and the one I am most similar to.
As a bonus, even people that hate me have to call me "Marshal." Hue.
As for my avatar, I stumbled across the vector while browsing DA once, so I just found a fitting background that I liked and combined the two. It was actually quite coincidental, considering I was already using this name at the time.
Apparantly I had lost the abilty to read previous posts, wonderful.
Wich story do you like the most on this site? And wich story of your own do you like the most?
3329457
Hard to pick an absolute favorite. I linked a few down in another reply, though.
My favorite story that I've written is Scotch at Dusk. It's my best to date, but more importantly it's more personal than any other story I've written (for more than one reason), so I'm quite fond of it. Before that, my favorite was Soapy Suds and Horny Studs, just because I love SoariLane and how the story itself came out.
Since you've written all sorts of pairings (M/F, M/M, F/F, futa, group, et cetera), and considering that you're the admin of Annoyed Bisexual Male Authors...
What are the biggest differences that you've come across when writing different gender pairings (ignoring the obvious tab-A-in-slot-B differences)? Are we all just marshmallow ponies in the dark? Or do you find that your M/M fics gravitate toward different themes and emotions than your F/F fics?
3332379
I do find that I enjoy writing M/M pairings more, even though I'm not fully sure why (it's not even down to my orientation, since I go both ways.) My story themes are generally no different between M/M and M/F stories, though. That is to say, whatever theme I'm going for in that particular story.
Funnily enough, one of the more irritating differences comes down to syntax. In M/F, you can bounce the narrative between characters with gender pronouns pretty easily, but obviously not in F/F or M/M. This is mostly only important because, well, you're writing about two or more characters acting on each other within the same paragraph, over and over.
So, things get pretty hard to follow if you try to use pronoun bouncing in a same-sex clopfic. The result is either an overuse of names, or Lavender Unicorn Syndrome.