The reason for the hiatus... · 3:31pm Nov 18th, 2014
I was... hit with quite of a shock last night. One that i didn't see coming at all.
Me and my girlfriend (Most of you know her as Autumn Rain)... broke up last night.
This was not a normal break up. We had been dating for 2+ years, and over that time she thoroughly convinced me she was the greatest woman ever. It had gotten to a point where i was thinking about our future together, where and when to propose to her, and our future family. A future that's now laying in pieces at my feet.
Before i go any further, i don't want anyone to think poorly of her, because i don't. She didn't give me a bullshit reason and kick me out the door like my past relationships. Everything she said to me made sense and that kind of made it worse.
The fact of the matter is, she's only 20, i'm 25. She was probably the most mature 18-20 year old i had ever met in my life, it was half the reason i felt so secure despite the age difference. However, while i had had time to experience the world and be in multiple relationships, she had only had one before me who was a complete douche. She's afraid of commitment because she's still got a lot to figure out for herself and her life going forward.
She wanted to have more experiences until deciding who she wanted to be with or what she wanted to do. I don't blame her... that's how life works. And who knows, she might realize i was who she wanted to be with, but neither of us can look froward and bet on that.
However, at the same time, without her i feel completely broken. She had been the driving force behind a lot of things i have currently been doing in my life. Working so hard in my new job, taking online classes, looking to get a degree... Writing... (I have half a novel written with a protagonist based on her... that's going in the trash...) and now without her my motivation and drive are non-existent... at least for now.
Now look... I live a good life. I have a great family that raised me well and loves me... and i am very well off... but this... It doesn't matter who you are, what your status is, or how much you have going for... losing a relationship that seemed perfect and destined to last forever is a dagger in the heart.
I'm not going to stop writing Piercing the Heavens... but understand me when i say i really need a little bit of time right now, i need to look at my life and try to find something new to motivate me towards the goals i've already worked so hard to get halfway through... just... without her.
There's also the complication of Autumn Rain... i already took down all the art i had that included her or made reference to her... (Sorry mlplover... i had to take down a lot of stuff by you, but please understand why.) She's a character i created to depict her... but there's too much of her in the story to act like she doesn't exist. So i will do my best to simply envision her as an original character. Don't be surprised if she's brought up very little going forward, or if she's no longer seen with my OC. I'll do my best to work around it.
It probably won't be long before i start writing again... but i really just need some time to let it sink in...
Thanks for the words of worry, they mean a lot to me.
Well... shit, man. All I can say is take as long as you need, we'll be here if you need someone to talk to, for anything.
That sucks to hear man.. I can only imagine how it feels like going through a break up like that.
Here, have a hug. *hugs*
That is awful!... Oh Sir Calm I don't know what to say. *BIG HUG* We are here for you. Every one of us. And as Dash says. I won't leave my friends hanging.
When the going gets tough.... We all hold hands and run together...
I know how you feel man. I understand
I won't try too much to comfort you here due to my own inexperience. I can't feel what you're going through, but I can put myself in the same state of mind. I know you must be hurting an awful lot... Just know that we're all here for you.
Oh bud, sorry to hear. Really am. That must suck. But at least it wasn't for an absolutely horrible reason.
I don't know how you may take this, and I don't know what kind of music you like, but if you do like rock music, a great band that helped 3 of my friends through their breakups right after is called The Airborne Toxic Event. Their first 2 albums are basically about the emotions of going through loss. You never know, it may help listening to something new if you like that kind of thing.
Take all the time you need. Heck, if you don't feel like writing romance, but still want to keep writing, maybe writing about dealing with a breakup could be a good thing for you. It could even help you dealing with going through the emotions yourself, and you can describe the main character's emotions perfectly, as it's more personal to you.
Regardless, take all the time you need.
I've never been through something like this because I've never had the courage to ask out any girl I've ever liked, but I'm sure this hurts a lot, because I know I am a romantic person, and trust me when I say I am really sorry about this, but it will help both of you grow as I dividuals.
I'm not sure what to say because I've never been in you sort of situation.
However, I can say that me, and everyone else here is here you you, that's one thing you can always count on dude.
I really sorry to hear it. Don't worry about piercing the heaven we can wait
I have no experiance in any of this so i won't pretend i do, but we're all here fo you
Just remember that you're never alone, mang. I've been through the mill with breakups and I'm glad you're handling things better than I've ever did. Surround yourself with some positivity and you'll be alright.
Sorry about that buddy. I hope you feel better soon, but take you time to recover. I hope things work themselves out. I really don't know what else to say? Sorry.
I'm not going to storm in here like a random person, saying I'm sorry like alot of other folk do to seem good, even though I am sorry.
I'm gonna say instead here that, I understand your reasons perfectly well and I will respect your reasons for this decision.
I will wait til you feel better and I will by then continue to enjoy your stories. For now, take all the time you need to get up on top again.
// NekoThaCay, AKA, Leopard Cay
i was in the same situation a year ago
even though it's hard , you have to move on , it's still hard to me , but im still seeing my Ex-gf and we're still great friends , so always remember that you're not alone , and to have fun , we're here for you if you need
2602469
2602483
2602484
2602491
2602494
2602497
2602503
2602517
2602526
2602527
2602536
2602538
Thank you all so much for the support. It really means a lot to me. I don't have many people i can go to anymore. She was... kind of the first person i went to when depressing stuff happened to me. Obviously that's not an option, so having everyone here throw in kind words helps a lot...
thank you.
*Hugs* Like Kestrel, I'm inexperienced, but trust me, you have all of us here for you when you need us.
2602546 we understand
2602546 Lean on the possy, lean on your friends. We are there for you.
...I am sorry to hear that...
Since I can't actually help you...I just...I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong...I know, easy to say, but I know that you can do it. You will get through this.
Take all the time you need ;(
Something like this is ALWAYS tough to deal with. But I am sure you will find a way to get over this and ultimately find happiness.
Hey, I'm not the best with words but let me say that I hope you get through this difficult time, and to take all the time you need
and remember everyone is here for you
Damn... I'm really sorry to hear that...
Just remember we're all here for you, and even though we don't know each other in real life, I am proud to consider you my friend.
2602546 No problem. We're here for you buddy.
Were here for ya.
Sadly I have more experience with this than I'd care to divulge but I can help you through this.
The trick is one step at a time but I have your back. I've got broad shoulders so lean on me man.
Wow... take as long as you need, Calm. We're here for you.
I'm really sorry to hear that. I've never been put in a situation like yours, but my mother has, so I can imagine how you feel. Maybe she was the one for you, maybe she wasn't, but that won't stop you from hurting any less. Just instead of grieving over the loss, smile at the memories you've made. Take as much time off as you need to. We all understand. Again, really sorry.
2602548
2602557
2602562
2602577
2602597
2602625
2602705
2602709
2602729
2602730
2602746
2602897
Thank you all as well... knowing i have so many people to show support is heartwarming. You're all the best i could ask for.
I'm sorry to hear this bro. I not one to talk because I never had a true relationship before, but take all the time you need to get back on your feet.
Keep Calm and Move along.
Oh my gosh,I am so sorry for the loss!
Take all the time you need and remember:
Be strong...We will always be ther for you.
PS: Someting like this happened to me a few months ago so I know how it feels,again,i'm so sorry!
Man, life can certainly be a bummer at times. But remember that you've got friends here and we're keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Take all the time you need and know that we'll be here for you.
I KNEW IT
I KNEW IT
even though I'm a middle school girl i can identify ones heart sometimes
i feel really sorry for you
i had a break up with my first boyfriend
he was a bitch
but now I'm now that following somepony else around I DON"T GIVE ONE SHIT ABOUT EM ANYMORE
I FEEL FREE...TOTALLY FREE
for the break up i can take the art down so you can not revive more pain just looking at it
2603143
You can do whatever you'd like with the art on your page, I just didn't want anything related to Autumn on my page anymore. She's technically a character i created since she wasn't into mlp, but since she is a depiction of her i'd just rather not have her on my page...
and thanks
Calm, take it from someone who has been in your shoes before. It will get better.
About 5 years ago, I was dating my ex for 2+ years. I also was thinking of my future with her and the planning stages of proposing to her. Then what seemed like out of the blue, she decided to end the relationship. I was still in college and had a few more years to go and she was either done with college or just about to be done. She ended it so that I wouldn't have to deal with her baggage that her life carries with her and we here both in two different places in our lives. Needless to say, I was devastated when this happened.
Life tends to have a funny way to surprise you. The reason why I say this is because a few months after my ex and I broke up, I met the love of my life and my future wife. I didn't know it at the time mind you but about 5-6 months after the break up, I started to date my wife, whom we have been happily married for over a year now.
What I am trying to get at (probably poorly) is that yes, it is going to suck and hurt right now. There will be days where you can't do anything but be in a state of depression and misery. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and no, it is not an on-coming train. It will eventually get better. How long? I cannot say for everyone is different but it will happen. I have found that life tends to do things like this for a reason. For instance: If my ex and I hadn't broken up, I probably wouldn't be married right now.
That being said, don't worry too much about the haitus. Take as long as you need to recover from this and just know that all of us are here for you.
2602935
2602975
2602987
thank you all so much, it means a lot to me to have so much support in a time of need.
2603164
That is a very heartwarming tale. This is actually the second 2+ year relationship i've gone through... so i have some experience dealing with it. This times a little tougher though cause the first ended up being one of those "what the hell was i thinking?" relationships. This one was much more real and true. But alas... life throws things at you.
I'm confident i will be fine... but i'll have to carry this sudden blank space in my chest for a while...
Shit man... sorry to hear that, we are all here for you remember that.
But she said that she wanted some more experience so... maybe after some time... she might come back. 2 years is alot so just keep in touch with her.
And you can't just throw that novell away she's still that wonderful woman you meet.
2603187
Thanks. As much as i would like the reassurance that she will come back to me, i can't bet on that. It's better for me to just go on my way for now.
Thanks for the support, it means a lot.
2603149
i understand
just don't start going to the you know where now mister calm wind
it hurts
in fact i was the one who dumped my X
scaring me with the topic that he's going to kill everyone
including me
and other stuff like that
so i couldn't take it anymore, so i dumped em
he wanted to crawl back tome, so I'm like no, no way mister
last year he was so innocent HE EVEN GAVE ME A FLOWER FOR VALENTINES DAY
i know how it is
Aww am so sorry calm 9
*hugs* I can kinda understand me and my ex dated for 3 years until he died that was the most i cried since forever and the thing about was we would talk about the future. its been 7 month. It takes a time to be cured but you have everyone loving and caring support 
awweeeeeee
im so sorrrryyy calm...
im so sorry that youre going through all of this..
i feel so sad now....
Oh man... I know what your going through. I went through the same this in February this year. It was a relationship of over 3 years and within a minute it was gone. I too lost all motivations to do anything, so many things I loved to do only filled me with dread. I know I had issues that needed fixing, but when the first reason she gives is "my friends don't like you anymore" which was only referring to one of her friends, it destroyed me...
I saw two different doctors, both wanted to put me on meds for depression and anxiety, which had started in the years before I even had a relationship. But i pushed through, just like you can, like we all know you can. Six months after all that happened, I'd managed to control it all, and in the end, she came back to me.
I'm only 18...
Your bigger, stronger, more experienced with life. Your going to get through this and come out the other side, into the bright light of a new day.
Good luck... And see you on the other side.
Im really sorry to hear this bro. I know I dont know you outside of all this but I can tell you truely are a great guy and I hope she realizes that too. Take some time off, and please know me and all of your other fans are here for you.
2603685
IT IS
AND IT SHALL BE THE 2ND WORST THING IN THE WORLD
Oh my...I'm sorry...that sucks...
Hey, Calm Wind. Just know that the team and I are all here for you. I can't say I'm sorry, for I am in experienced, and though I have yet to feel the heartbreak that you have felt, I can put myself in your shoes if I imagine hard enough. This is a hard time for you, so take all the time you need from writing, I can wait, we all can. Take time to figure everything out and just do what friends do best: talk. Hopefully happiness will fly into your heart again at some point in life.
Sincerely,
Ender
P.S. We all reach through the screen to give you a huge hug.
2603232
2603302
2603392
2603399
2603525
2603611
2603673
2603781
2603849
Thank you all for being there for me...
I'm... doing alright i guess. It really struck me hard again when i got home today, but reading your comments has been helping me cope.
I'm not gonna be okay for a long time, but i appreciate all your efforts more than you could imagine.
I'm sorry for you
Trust me calm things will be ok! I'm crap at the whole relationship thing but I'm sure everything will be ok
I have something that might cheer you up, I have some art that I will post soon and one of them is for you
well it's the whole possy but I think you might like it 
Please be happy
2603912
thank you for your concern, it means a lot to me.
And i'm watching you on deviantart, so i'll see it when you post it, thanks ahead of time.
I'll try to be happy... probably won't be for a good while, but i'll try...
2603866
Hey, that's why I'm here! Sort of. But really, never let life get you down. It's tough, but you are tougher.