Aug
27th
2014
I had a fight with DH7 today · 3:45am Aug 27th, 2014
For the past 2 weeks DH7 was fixing the grammar mistakes of the first chapter of my story Fluttershy Batwings but he only read the first chapter only. And because of that he does not understand why Fluttershy is the way she is. I keep telling him to read the rest of the story but he refused. Than I lost my temper and called him a snob from Twilight's Library. And now he has made a blog about this You Sound Like Those Snobs From Twilight's Library and I tried to apologise to him for losing my temper but for some reason I can't make a comment in that blog because I always get a error message. I hope this does not mean that he has blocked me
Oh, so it was you he was talking about? Oh geez man, you must have said some pretty nasty things. I mean, I can understand losing a temper, it happens to the best of us. Look, he probably just needs time to calm down and get centered.
Want me to tell him you're sorry?
It's probably best to wait a week, y'know give him time to calm down and PM him just in case he did ban you. I'm use to losing my temper but I know after a day or two I'm usually back to my old self. Give him time and then PM him. Hope this helps.
That typically means you've been blocked
2405038 This is what I said to him that made him angry
2405074 Yes
2405083 I just PM him
2405322 I hope not
Dang, I'm sorry. I hope you guys make up!
2405434 Hope he forgives you. Good luck.
2405434
Alright then. What exactly do you want me to say to him? Or just say, "ProMonarchyGenius says he's sorry and wants your forgiveness"?
I can understand where your both coming from. You think he's being a judgmental snob and he thinks you're being proud and unreasonable. HOWEVER (and you might get mad at me for saying this), he might have a point. He might be offering good advice and you should at LEAST consider taking it. But I also think that he should read the rest of the story before making a full final judgement.
2405590
2405642 I hope we do make up soon
2405726 Yes
2405912 I know that my grammar is not the best. From what I got from him is that he really is against the idea of the story itself
2406437 Did you ask him why?
2406453 He did state that he hates Batman Returns.
2406437
It is done.
2406462 That's not a good reason...
2406598 Good
2406604 Well that is the impression that he gave me. Maybe my mistake with my story is that after the scene where baby Fluttershy is found by the sewer dwelling rabbits I put the story to jump 20 years later but what I should have done was set the story10 years later where Chapter 3 starts and Chapter 3 is the first of the flashback chapters in my story
2406656
He seems...I dunno the word for this.
2406656 I have no clue what you just said...
Well, this explains quite a bit. I think you might have what some refer to as 'selective hearing', which would explain why you apparently missed my explanation of what Twilight's Library is the first time around. You're referring to an old debate we had about the violent portrayal of Batman in the movie. I never once said I hated the movie, and in fact, I said it was one of my favorites, and a huge source of nostalgia.
I argued two points.
1. I believed that Tim Burton's version of Batman was too violent, and thus not faithful to accepted conventions. This is by no means is to say that I dislike the movie. I'm just willing to criticize something that I like. I try to be very precise in both my praise and my criticism.
2. I disagreed with the notion that 'The Dark Knight Rises' was more childish than a children's show. I may or may not agree with the notion that the acting was immature, but I'm willing to accept that as a valid assessment. That, however, is not the same as saying that it's as childish as a show meant for children.
I'm kind of 'meh' about The Dark Knight Rises, but I don't like gross exaggerations. I don't care if someone hates the movie. My point was that particular statement was about as accurate as saying that the movie rapes babies.
I never once said that I hated Batman Returns. This is an example of assuming what has been said, rather than listening to what has been said.
---
I posted a link to the Google Docs document in our PM exchange. From what I gather from some of your comments, I'm not sure if you looked at it. I basically gave a line-by-line analysis. What I said via PM was really just a quick summary.
I've deleted the blog post. It was fucking stupid of me to vent in that manner in the first place. I at least had the sense to keep names out of it, but the damn thing was written from rather impulsive feelings. How people handle criticism is a volatile issue with me, right up there with homophobia and genocide (which I know, makes absolutely no sense.) I'm not particularly patient when trying to convey a point, either. I am easily angered, impulsive, and very aggressive with my views. It's something that I've been working on, as such a prickly demeanor is not beneficial in dealing with some of the younger forumgoers that I often run into.
It was the equivalent of me screaming into a pillow. I blocked you, because I didn't think I could reason with you. More than anything else, I was agitated that you still have sore feelings about Twilight's Library, even after I explained what they are, and what it is that they do. I've been rejected as well, and I'm pretty sure they didn't read a whole chapter . . . there's no need.
If they find a valid reason to reject a story, such as mine, then the rest of the story won't matter. I lurk in their rejection thread, and I can tell you that they often reject stories that they like. They do this because people expect a certain level of quality from the stories in their archive. If you were submitting a story to a publishing house, they would reject it for very minor mistakes, and no amount of persuading would convince them otherwise.
As for me, I was acting as a reviewer/editor for a single chapter I was never a part of your target-audience, and I tried to convey that from the very beginning. There's no point in trying to convince me to read the later chapters. The rest of the story could really be engaging and explain every issue I had with the first chapter . . . that's not the point, like, at all. The fact that you kept trying to give me spoilers and kept trying to convince me that the future chapters explain everything, only gave me the impression that you had missed the point entirely. I don't know how to make that any clearer than I already have.
Regardless of how awesome the later chapters are, that doesn't change my initial thoughts. Readers tend to hit the back-button if they don't like the first paragraph. My assessment was that I thought some readers might be turned off by some of the portrayals in the first chapter. Even if the second chapter fixes everything, my assessment would still be the same. That assessment doesn't change just because things start to get better five-thousand words later.
I was actually operating on the belief that everything you told me was true. If the future chapter explain everything, then great. That does nothing to change my concerns about the chapter that I looked at.
Does this make any sense to you?
I'm not a recreational reader here, and never have been. Think of it less as someone passing judgment, and more as someone giving objective advice. I'm not the guy you need to be convincing of anything . . . I'm just a drive-by opinion that you can choose to ignore. This is how one takes criticism. We smile, we nod, and we ignore all the crap that we didn't agree with.
The people you need to convince are your readers . . . with your writing.
I've recently sent an 800-word excerpt to two non-brony fanfiction writers for feedback. Both had trouble understanding the it. I didn't reply with "But you haven't read the whole thing!" That would be silly, considering this excerpt is the only thing that's going to be seen by the people that I'm eventually going to send it off to—I need that fandom-blind, story-blind feedback.
You positively, absolutely, can not expect readers to read past the first chapter without having an opinion. You need to convince them, through your writing, that the second chapter is worth reading. Trying to convince an editor that the future chapters make everything all better really doesn't do anything for you.
Now, it's important to note that everything I've said is dismiss-able. There's nothing that I've said that you are bound to take to heart, and there's certainly no reason to persuade me of anything. I could be wrong, and it's up to you to decide that for yourself . . . it's between yourself and yourself, and not between you and me, if that makes any sense.
In any case, the characterization was not my biggest issue with the fic. Some will probably be put off by the characterization, as I was, but I'm sure that others will find the story interesting enough to look past that. Far more pressing is your awkward sentence-structure, overload of information, and the constant shift-tense. More than anything, I think this is keeping you from having a better ratio.
I've analyzed the fic as far as I intended. I can't afford to go into 'edit' mode for another chapter, and I'm not capable of passively reading something without hanging off of every error. It's an ability you lose as you continue to write; prepare yourself for that one. You might get another person to look at it, but I wouldn't do that just yet, and I certainly wouldn't submit it to Rage Reviews just yet.
Perhaps you should hold off on doing anything about the characterization until you get a second opinion, but the commentary on the technical, the grammar and punctuation, needs to be applied to the whole fic before you ask someone else to look at it. You get more out of an editor if you do what you can before having them look at it.
2407199 You have to read the story to understand
2407058 Ok
2407269 I'm sorry for snapping at you. I only mentioned Twilight's Library once when I lost my temper and it was from my last message to you. I did look at the Google Doc and I was going to use it and even give you credit by having your name in the story description. I had to name names in this blog post because it was the only way I can talk to you since you blocked me. Maybe my mistake with the story is the order of the chapters. What I should have done was after the scene in chapter 1 where baby Fluttershy was found by the sewer dwelling rabbits instead of going to 20 years later I should have gone 10 years later where the events of chapter 3 starts when Fluttershy was freak show performer at the circus. And you calling my story the second worst thing you read in Fimfiction really hurt me. I lost hours of sleep labouring for my story especially the later chapters. I am not writing some silly 1'000 word one shot story here. I really picked my brain to make the characters especially Fluttershy believable. Remember how Fluttershy behaved in that episode Putting Your Hoof Down when everypony treated her like crap. Well imagine that but 1'000 times worse and that is why Fluttershy became so dark and warped by the time she became 20 years old
2407269
2408193 I'm glad you two made up.
2408325 He has not replied to me yet