Present Perfect vs. Fallout: Equestria: The Blog: The Movie: The Blog · 8:58pm Apr 27th, 2013
Fallout: Equestria.
One of the "big three" My Little Pony fanfictions; quite possibly the most popular story in the fandom. Regardez: it was featured in a certain Cracked.com Quick Fix.
So what's all the hubbub about? Why has it become so popular? More importantly, is it, in my opinion, deserving of such popularity? If you've been following my blog posts, you doubtless have an idea of what I am about to say in the course of exploring these questions, particularly the last one. But let's break everything down. Marvel as I attempt to remember just what this story, that took me a month to read, was about.
The Author
One should always strive to separate an author's works from their person, but I feel I need to start out with this; consider it a disclaimer. Kkat has gained some level of notoriety in the fandom, of which I am not ignorant. I tried to leave out personal attacks in my commentary (minus that last one for when Calamity meets his dad because seriously Kkat, fuck you), and I also tried not to let hearsay about the author color my comments. But there is one thing I have heard about Kkat that I think shows through in Fallout: Equestria, and that is a belief that the show itself is actually grimdark.
I like grimdark, which is to say I'm fine with it as it pushes the boundaries of what we see from show, but I am always aware that the genre on the whole goes against everything that MLP:FiM stands for. And while there's something to be said for a colorful fantasy kingdom where the inhabitants of an idyllic village live right next to a dark and spooky forest full of horrible monsters, the idea that any sort of profound darkness extends beyond that is ludicrous. Even when ancient evils rear their ugly heads in My Little Pony, we can be assured that good will win out in the end. That's part of the message, and that's why grimdark is so antithetical to MLP.
But after reading FoE -- hell, long before I finished -- I am completely convinced that Kkat does not share this viewpoint. This knowledge will inform my review. So with that in mind, let's move on to the substantial parts.
Story
In some ways, I both can and cannot find fault with the story. The main plot itself, the quest of a little pony stepping into the not-sunlight for the first time to try and find a friend, a quest that quickly explodes into trying to save the world, is pretty solid and thoroughly engaging. Add to this the side plot involving How Did Everything Get Like This, as told through memory orbs, audio recordings and the like, and you've got everything I love about post-apocalyptic storytelling.
What holds the plot back foremost is pacing. We get side quests of dubious importance. There are long stretches (the first 16 chapters, chapter 26 to almost the end) where I found myself constantly wishing we could get back to the plot already. Long action scenes near the end of the story run overlong. When the plot is moving, it moves just fine, but when Fo:E drags, it drags hard. I still say that the first third of the story could be removed, or pared down to perhaps two chapters, and we would lose nothing of importance.
Yet the opposite is also true. There are times when large scenes are skipped over, battles and other scenarios later in the story that would have been gloried in had they occurred in the earlier chapters. Quite often, we start a scene in the middle of the action, and are never filled in on what happened prior. The battle of Bucklyn Cross is a great example. Given how much that event haunts the characters afterward, that we see only the start and end of it is a real oversight. This is maybe a bit more of a writing issue than a story one, but the end effect is to leave the reader confused and feeling left out. In short, the amount of detail given to one scene or battle over another is completely arbitrary, bewilderingly so.
Furthermore, as I hinted in the comments on my last journal, there are a lot of holes left unfilled by the end, despite the triple ending. For instance: WHAT IN THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE OTHER MEMORY ORBS HOW COULD LP GO INTO THE SPP AND NOT FREAKING WATCH THEM ALL OH MY GOD D: (Sorry about the shouting; this is supposed to be a serious review. But seriously, how?) Also note that there is an entire large-scale battle that occurs shortly after the final chapter, with life-altering consequences for a number of major characters. There is no way that it could have been fit into the narrative (or is there?), yet I can't help feel that I missed out on something worth seeing.
Setting
This section will mostly be about the crossover. A successful crossover should do two things. First, it should introduce the crossover medium (in this case, Fallout) to fans of the primary medium (in this case, MLP:FiM) in way that they need not have any foreknowledge of the crossover, assuming you aren't writing for a place like fanfiction.net, where no assumption of primary medium can be made. Fo:E does this and does it quite well. I knew nothing about Fallout coming into the story, but I never felt lost by the terminology used.
Secondly, to justify having written a crossover, one should be able to combine the themes of the two media used. Now, I'd like to say that Fo:E did not do this, but quite frankly I have no idea what the themes of Fallout are, and my ignorance of that series will prevent me from making a full review of the story, sadly. But you can definitely see in my above section on the author's supposed approach to MLP:FiM where I might want to say that half of this story is ridiculous, that the grimdark elements overshadow the MLP themes, and that the very act of trying to include those themes, because there are indeed a lot of instances of friendship being a focus, especially where the Elements are involved, feels artificial. It comes off as lip-service in many instances, an attempt on the author's part to say, "Look, this really is My Little Pony fanfiction!"
Of course, there's one more way in which Fo:E falls flat, related to the crossover. If you've read my blogs, you know what I'm going to say:
>video games
This kind of lets up in the middle half, but Fallout: Equestria is peppered throughout with constant reminders that our crossover medium is a video game. Characters behave the way video game characters tend to (a quip from Littlepip about her friends not standing around doing nothing while she's not with them only serves as a reminder). They find healing items that give them something of an invincibility complex, a "We'll take the damage now and heal it off later" mentality more suited to D&D than fanfiction. You can explain the creation of these items, the way in which they work, with magic, yet that magic is not something present in the show. Thus, their existence, their genesis, remains a question mark.
The same goes for the magical weapons, item shops, finding currency lying around various places (and making jokes about it), palette-swapped enemies... It all just screams "This is based on a video game and I couldn't figure out how to integrate it into MLP."
There are parts of this story that should come off as gamier but don't, most notably the subplot about Littlepip's addiction was so compelling. Using powerups and stat boosters is second nature to video games, but having a powerup that comes with side effects, well! That just doesn't happen. I'd love to see that in a game, actually; I think addiction could be easily conveyed with proper mechanics. However, the existence of this one instance wherein the trend towards video gameyness is bucked I take as the exception proving the rule. It is, essentially, an accidental circumvention of a trope, and its solitude serves to drive home a certain lack of planning or forethought on the author's part. Again, the inconsistency is baffling and in this case, smacks of lack of effort. (I will admit that accusing this author of "lack of effort" in regards to this story rings pretty hollow as a criticism.)
But with all that said, the setting itself, as in the world, its inhabitants, its creatures, and its history, are actually very compelling and probably one of my more favorite parts of Fo:E. Again, I'm predisposed toward post-apocalyptic stories. I would like to think that this is why so many have been drawn to write side stories, but that might be generous of me. If you can believe that ponies are capable of going to war, of industrializing to promote that war effort, then the events that lead up to Equestria becoming the Wasteland are pretty well laid out.
Writing
The writing is also both above and within reproach. I found the minutiae -- word choices, dialogue, imagery -- to be quite excellent. (I have heard that the story has been heavily edited; I never saw the original versions, so I can't judge based on that, but let it be said that I have no idea how much credit is to be given to Kkat.) The descriptions in particular are something I feel I can learn from. When I was not groaning in agony at the goings-on of the story, I enjoyed it for the well-crafted tale that it is. There are some really tremendous narrative diversions used (the parallel storylines, the non-sequential revelation of the backstory, the removal of two days' worth of memories from the narrator, even if that is never resolved) that keep it interesting and keep the reader from becoming too complacent with the narrative.
That said.
The writing was the first place where Fo:E really starts to break down for me, and you all probably know why: constant references to the show. The author seems to have been on some kind of spirit-quest to stuff as many scenes and lines of dialogue from the show as possible into her story. Given that most of it was written during and after season 1, this means a lot of rehashing of old catch phrases, not to mention standout lines that are by no means catch phrases, for which their inclusion becomes all the more confounding. I do not cotton to catch phrasing outside comedy fics (and even then, it's likely best left to trollfic writers), and Fallout: Equestria is a good example of why. Every time we get reminded "Hey, you're reading something based on My Little Pony!" it breaks immersion and tends to ruin the scene, not to mention the practice is simply lazy. Almost never do we see an instance of this occurring where the phrase is given new meaning for its utterance; it's just another "20% cooler" repeated in a new setting, for absolutely no reason.
Possibly worse is the non-referential humor. Again, Fallout and MLP are about as far apart as one can get tonally, and the first overt attempts at humor really struck me as jarring. Black humor I could see, but slapstick? That's something reserved for the show, and in Fallout: Equestria comedy of this sort feels like we're looking at the Wasteland through a My Little Pony-colored filter made of flimsy cellophane. Littlepip's constant humiliation is another source of poorly-placed comedy; I'll elaborate on that later. This is not to say it was all bad. Calamity's kleptomania was a running gag I actually appreciated, despite its >video games overtones. But for the most part, this story was not improved by its humor in the least.
Characters
Here we go. This is the big one. Out of all the aspects of this story I could critique, character is probably the one I have the most to say about. This is Fallout: Equestria's strength, yet not all characters are created equally. Let's take a look at some of the major players.
Littlepip
There are many reasons to use a blank slate Everyman as one's main character. Primary among these is so that one's readership will be able to insert themselves into said character's head and enjoy their exploits vicariously. But especially when telling a story in first-person, tabula rasa does not make for an interesting character. This is not to say LP doesn't have characteristics of her own. But in preparing to write this section, I realized that any personality she has by the end of the story is developed and molded by the events thereof. She may as well have not existed prior to chapter 1.
Still, she works as a stand-in for the audience, if one assumes the readership of FoE to be liberal-leaning bronies (and they aren't all, at least at first, given the number of people who found MLP through this story; that by itself is a whole can of worms I do not want to touch but will later). The specific elements that lead me to this conclusion are delineated in the blog posts, and I kind of can't remember them, but this facet gets more palpable as the story progresses, and I suspect some amount of feedback looping in play as chapters were posted.
What I really found most irritating about her... Is a lot of things. The constant asides, especially in relation to "the little pony" in her head. The colorful expletives got old fast, and they only gained more color through the story. The jokes at the end about just that were pretty awful, too. Her continual whiny self-deprecation, not to mention her tremendous lack of self-esteem irritated me to no end. And again, I can't help but think of this as a way to help the intended audience identify with her. (If it is, then the author truly has no regard for her audience.)
So does Littlepip do anything right? She delivers a number of really good speeches toward the end, but speechifying doesn't really seem to be part of her character. Rather, it's something that becomes expected of someone in her role as a hero, and she just sort of stumbles into it.
Not to mention she's an awfully good shot for never having fired a weapon prior to leaving her Stable. I mean, sure, there's the video gamey SATS nonsense, but the fact is she adapts to life in the Wasteland pretty ably. Yes, there are continual moments where she's faced with something new to her, and in that way she's a good focal character because the reader can learn alongside her. Still, I don't find her to be a good character on her own merits, and what merits she has are not exactly traits the character I'm supposed to be rooting for should have.
Yeah, so... Did anyone notice where I started hoping LP would die? I'd actually be interested to know when that happened. She's far from the worst character in the story though (see: Homage).
Calamity
Calamity is, without a doubt, the most well-rounded, well thought out character in this story. Admittedly, most of his development comes during the second half of Fallout: Equestria, but it is nevertheless there, and thorough. Like I said, the scene at the end where he meets his father is poignant, and I was really upset by the show quote at the end because it deflated an emotionally tense scene, one that was very important for a character I had come to care quite a lot about.
In fact, Calamity is such a good character that this section is going to be extremely short. The only question I really have about him is, why doesn't he just fuckis he Littlepip's friend in the first place?
Velvet Remedy
I spent the entirety of Fo:E in a love-hate relationship with Velvet. As the Face character, I was predisposed to like her, but her characterization is fairly inconsistent. Worse, at her core, I can't help but think that she's basically just a Rarity who sings and heals ponies. She does go a bit beyond that, but not much, and toward the end of the story, Velvet seems to be the most one-note of all the main characters.
What's weird about this is that, out of the three characters I've mentioned so far, who I would consider to be the real core characters of the story, she's the strongest-willed and most likely to cause things to happen because she wants them to, typically the mark of a good character. Much like Rarity herself, Velvet is hard to simply write off, and I liked that about her. Heck, by the end, she herself admits to being a bitch, which is absolutely true, and I can respect that. It's possible that a lot of my dislike of her (which is not entirely what I feel towards her) is based off the fact that she's not above manipulating others to get what she wants.
And as an aside, let me talk about that. The characters in this story are severe dicks to one another on a continual basis. It's worst when directed at Steelhooves; Littlepip herself is never above asking him, "What would Applejack say?" It's like... come on, you know this guy worshipped her figuratively when she was alive, and that's pretty much become literal since she died. The amount of emotional manipulation that takes place in this story, perpetrated by the heroes no less, is staggering and rather upsetting. I have no idea why it was a necessary part of this story, but it sure left a bad taste in my mouth. Moving on.
Steelhooves
I called him best pony, but honestly I just like him because he's a severe badass. I respect him for sticking to his morals, for the most part, even when it puts him at odds with the rest of the group. That's another hallmark of a good character; too much get-alonging is why a lot of stories with large casts can fall flat. That said, his motivations are sometimes a little confusing; Steelhooves is the least predictable of the major characters, though this isn't always a bad thing.
I feel the need to talk about his death for a moment. The decision to kill off Steelhooves, ostensibly who is up to that point often praised for his unkillability by Littlepip and the others, was bold. To kill him off so abruptly was a perfect way to drive home the horrors of the Wasteland; how, at any time, anyone can die after a moment's inattention. (Also, it was a good way to finally showcase that, yes, hellhounds are that dangerous!) But I was shocked at myself, because I had precisely zero reaction to Steelhooves' death beyond an initial stage of disbelief. I wasn't heartbroken, I wasn't sad, it just... Didn't affect me. It didn't help that his funeral was kind of dumb, but I'm really not sure what that lack of reaction means.
Xenith
I really can't say anything about Xenith. She appears halfway through the story, when the four other major characters already have a pretty solid camaraderie going on, and she never really fits in. Her personality is pretty much nonexistant; as far as I can tell, she exists to give Littlepip and company some up-close and personal experience with "insane zebra logic" and to reveal a bit more of Steelhooves' backstory. I never cared about her quest to find her daughter; I never understood any of her motivations. Her whole thing about not wanting to be responsible for herself was almost compelling, but I don't think the author ever used it well.
Homage
It's impossible to feel one single way about Homage due to the fact that she is almost an entirely different pony while in her DJ P0n-3 guise. I really liked the DJ, to be honest: he provides a great way to build the world and make it breathe in the early parts of the story, plus I really got into the whole reputation crafting angle. Seeing the effect that Littlepip has on the psyche of the Wasteland's inhabitants, from an early time, really adds a lot to the story and isn't the sort of thing one sees on a regular basis in fiction, fan-based or otherwise.
But Homage herself? She may as well have been called Plot Device (with all the double entendres that entails). She never had any clears motives for... anything, really, least of all her "relationship" (the million quotation marks are implied) with Littlepip. That's probably why I hate her. I mean, I'm not a huge LP fan in the first place, but even then I was suckered into the reader-standin bit now and again, enough so that when Homage was mocking, embarrassing and humiliating her "girlfriend" at every opportunity, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the little shit.
What they had was not a relationship. It was a naïve individual with low self-esteem clinging to the first person who showed any interest in her. I don't even remember why Homage mentioned being interested in LP in the first place, but I feel it had something to do with the story that Homage herself was building around the "Stable Dweller". So she was in love with a fantasy? Or was she just hero chasing? Neither is a healthy start to a relationship. She pretty much uses Littlepip for a fucktoy throughout, and Homage's actions are in no way good for LP's already low self-esteem.
And that's what my loathing for Homage comes down to: Littlepip has convinced herself that she's not only not worthy of love, but will never find it because she likes mares, and then along comes Homage, who might be interested in her, and suddenly they're totes in wuv, yu guize. By the end of the story, LP has convinced herself that she's in this epic torrid romance or something, which works well for an unreliable narrator, but not so much for having a character with any kind of confidence or self-esteem. What Homage engages in is emotional fucking manipulation, pure and simple, and I was disgusted that she ended up as one of the Elements.
Red Eye
Is it two words? I have no idea.
Red Eye was a great villain. I mean, yes, he kind of hits every trope branch on the way down the Charismatic Villain tree, but it's an archetype I like and he fills it well. Really, he had some of the best dialogue in the entire story, and I loved following the twisted logic behind his motives. It's a shame he went out the way he did. His death was a severe anticlimax for all the buildup to confronting him that was made.
The Rest
I find myself scratching my head for other major players that need mention, so let's go to the rogues' gallery.
Gaudina is one of the most unlikely of recurring characters. I seriously had written her off after the whole Shattered Hoof thing and was surprised that she ever showed up again. She never really made a big impression on me, which didn't help in sympathizing with Cage or Reggie either. Cage was an especially poorly used character, as he dies before we know him, leaving his sister's mourning or lack thereof meaningless. Reggie never grew on me after that; much like her mother, she just seems to exist as a talking pair of guns. But the fact that Gaud (I can't not mention how much I completely hate that running "joke") has kids in the first place just felt tacked on. It didn't add anything to her character. I'd call the lot of them flat.
If there's one character I can hate more than Homage, it would be Monterey Jack, and I am including him pretty much for the sake of being able to say this. His motives were so completely impenetrable as to be entirely bullshit, he was a completely unlikable asshat, and he wasn't interesting enough for a second appearance in the fic.
One character I did like was Grandpa Rattle. Admittedly, he existed mostly for plot development and possessed more backstory than actual character, but that backstory was pretty damned awesome. His appearance initially did not strike me as anything beyond a simple stereotypical joke, and I certainly didn't expect him to become as important or interesting as he did. I was always impressed by his existence beyond the one-note, even if the nature of his senility was never properly explained.
Lifebloom never really struck me one way or another. Yes, it's funny that he's gay, and he personifies the Twilight Society and its ascent from selfish hoarding, but that's about it. At least he didn't end up as an Element.
Who else is worth mentioning? Crossroads was cool but mostly plot device. Xephyr may as well have not existed for all the not-adding to Xenith's not-character she did. Stern and Autumn Leaf were both pretty standard villains. I don't think anyone else was more than incidental.
But, this brings me to one more important analysis.
The Non-OCs
And here's where things get icky again. Most depictions of the mane cast, et. al., in this story are good, but no more. (Derpy doesn't count, as she had no character to speak of at the time and still doesn't, really.) But it's a stagnant kind of good. Each character exists as presented in the show, and not a jot beyond. It's hard to get a sense that any time has really passed for these characters. At worst, they become flanderized (a word I am using while not entirely familiar with its connotations): see in particular the Great and Powerful-cum-Goddess Trixie. It's almost worse with Fluttershy, if only because we get an entire chapter from her point of view. While listening to the afterword, I had to continually remind myself of her age, treeness aside, and indeed I was surprised by the first description of her mane being faded. No attempt is ever made to move beyond the characterizations as seen in the show, to mature the characters or build on their relationships.
The single exception to this is Pinkie's Mentals addiction straining her friendship with Twilight. I don't think quite enough was done with this, though, and again, it's the exception proving the rule.
Conclusion
Assuming you haven't completely forgotten what's going on in this post -- and who could blame you, really? It's fecking huge -- I asked two questions at the beginning of this review. The second, I believe, I have answered thoroughly. Fallout: Equestria is not, in my opinion, more deserving of its popularity than any other similar story, whether by theme, setting, crossover, or genre, and is in many ways overhyped. No story should be allowed a third of its length to "get good", especially not when that entails as many words as it does in this case. The glorification of violence and gore reaches levels I can only describe as "despicable". Major characters are poorly rendered and scenes drag on.
But what of my first question? Why is Fo:E so popular in the first place? I can think of but one reason.
Dumb bronies.
Dumb bronies never change.
All right, I'm being facetious here for the sake of mocking the source material one last time. The actual answer, I think, lies somewhere in the sheer popularity of Fallout itself. Its fanbase appears to be rabid, from what I have seen, in ways that do not entirely sit well with me (the aforementioned glorification of violence and gore foremost among them). For evidence of this claim, look no further than the myriad of comments that can be summed up as "I was introduced to My Little Pony through Fallout: Equestria". If that isn't just the most ass-backward thing...
But enough about that. Let's winter wrap-up.
I cannot universally pan Fallout: Equestria, for though it is deeply, deeply flawed, both in execution and concept, there is plenty to enjoy during its length. (The audiobook, again, for those not aware, has a runtime of two and a half days.) Reading it was a huge investment of time, not all of which was fulfilling, but in the end I am glad I read it. If I've wasted any time, it would be in writing this ten-page, five-thousand-word review justifying my opinions against an anticipated tide of backlash -- which I doubt will actually come, as those of you who've been reading my little critiques on my Fimfiction blog have generally seemed friendly to my viewpoints -- that could have been spent adding to a story chapter or writing a one-shot. And now I have to go back and invest even more time into this for editing. Lordy.
As a recommendation, I would say, if you're deeply involved in the goings-on of this fandom's writing segment, it would be worth your while to experience Fallout: Equestria. And by "experience" I mean, read until you can't fucking stand it. Pride is the only thing that got me through that story, especially after chapter 26; I simply was not willing to let it defeat me. But if you have no such aspirations, feel free to drop off after about five chapters or so if it's not catching you, just so you can say you tried.
In short, Fallout: Equestria has become, for better or worse, a phenomenon of My Little Pony fanfiction, and is not entirely deserving of this accolade. It's worth a small time investment unless the reader finds themselves transfixed, but no more.
Rating: 3/5
Fallout: Equestria gets a very grudging "Eh, I liked it". It was almost a 3.5, but then I realized after reading back over my review that that would essentially be giving it an A for effort and fuck that. It was almost a 2, but then I realized that there was either more to like than to hate, or else I spent more time enjoying the story than detesting it. It even gave me a new standard by which to judge video game crossovers.
And though it's almost a solid year later, have my list of alternate chapter titles.
Introduction: "And Then Kkat Said 'Friendship Is Grimdark, Bitches' and Half a Million Words Happened in Her Horn"
Prologue: "In Case You Forgot This Was Based on a Video Game"
Chapter 1: "I'm the Only Raging Lesbian in Stable 2... Wait, No, Nevermind"
Chapter 2: "Welcome to EquestriSHITSHITFUCKSHITFUCKSHITSHIT"
Chapter 3: "DO YOU EVEN WATCH THE SHOW?"
Chapter 4: "No, Seriously, That Was Fucking Zombie Derpy in the Last Chapter. What in the Actual Fuck?"
Chapter 5: "Welcome to Stable 63!"
Chapter 6: "Planes, Trains, and Actually Just Trains. And LSD."
Chapter 7: "In Which We Are Reminded of the Plot (Hurr Hurr)"
Chapter 8: "In Which Horn Rape Is an Option"
Chapter 9: "It was a bludd spring daty & the clouds was up"
Chapter 10: "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished"
Chapter 11: "Diamond Tiara's Final Fuck You... Never. ENDS."
Chapter 12: "Boota Boota, Calamity?"
Chapter 13: "It Even Comes With a Garage Where You Can Store All Your Blinged-Out Cars"
Chapter 14: "Just Say HELL FUCKING YES to Drugs"
Chapter 15: "Dude Looks Like a Robot"
Chapter 16: "Last of the Shit Chapters"
Chapter 17: "The One Where It Gets Good"
Chapter 18: "Lesbian Sexual Tension"
Chapter 19: "Buy My Little Addict Rehab Clinic Playset Today!"
Chapter 20: "The Other One Where It Gets Better"
Chapter 20.5: "DU-NAAA NA NAA, DU-NUH, DU-NUH"
Chapter 21: "Fifty Shades of Vore"
Chapter 22: "Never Follow the Plot When There's Shit to Explore"
Chapter 23: "Dog Jesus Died for Your Lewts"
Chapter 24: "Jesuslestia and Jesusluna Died for Your Feels"
Chapter 25: "A Stupid, Stupid Plan"
Chapter 26: "SUPER ZEBRA PIT FIGHTER II TURBO XTREEEEEEEM!!!"
Chapter 27: "Whose Bright Idea Was It to Bring the Zebra Again?"
Chapter 28: "Calamity Finally Gets Some"
Chapter 29: "I'd Like to Welcome You Back to the "Littlepip Sucks" Show"
Chapter 30: "Bad Hellhound, No Biscuit"
Chapter 31: "A Totally Serious Treatise on the Horrors of TainPFFFTTTCHH"
Chapter 32: "Meanwhile, Steelhooves Is Like, 'Hey Guys, Can I Be in the Story Again? :('"
Chapter 33: "Adventures in Not Really Doing Anything"
Chapter 34: "Steelhooves Has Rejoined the Party"
Chapter 35: "Operation Shock and Dead"
Chapter 36: "Dare You Not to Think of Golden Showers"
Chapter 37: "Fallout Equestria: That's What She Said"
Chapter 38: "Bull Freaking Horse Shit"
Chapter 39: "Full Grimdark Consequences"
Chapter 40: "Hooked on Radiation"
Chapter 41: "Spike Gets Picked Last for Kickball"
Chapter 42: "Fight Scenes! Huh! What Are They Good For?"
Chapter 43: "Littlepip’s Interesting Day"
Chapter 44: "One Big Sex Joke"
Chapter 45: "Game Over"
Epilogue: "More Horse Words"
Afterword: "Because Reasons"
Actually, Steelhooves' death, for me, was a telling example of how this story was not the best thing since sliced bread. It felt too much like it was a "necessary death" because somebody had once told the author that realism comes by reminding the reader than in real life, anyone can die... but the manner of death was therefore a moral driven home with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. It served no narrative purpose, fed no ideal and made no sense.
Maybe I'm too enamoured with the Heroes Death tropes, the "blaze of glory" type endings, but the "punk death" just left a bad taste in my mouth. The only similar thing I can think of where it worked was in the movie deep blue sea where Samuel L. Jackson gets eaten by the shark, right in the middle of his Big Damn Hero speech. It served a lesson there, because it was the bait and trap for the watcher. In this story, Steelhooves just dies. It stank of "being edgy" and the flaky funeral afterwards just felt lame, and it made his character into a joke.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the whole story has an incredibly definite "I was playing a game of {insert RPG here} to write the text", and it broke my suspension of disbelief and made me assume that the author had, at that point, a hitherto powerful character go down due to unlucky dice rolls. It ruined the immersion and killed the narrative, for zero cumulative effect.
That point also marked a turning point in the speed of the story itself, and it became painfully obvious where the will to wrap up all loose ends became stronger than the will to construct a narrative - the first half of the story is side quests, the next quarter is establishing the main plot, and the last quarter is the rising action, climax and denouement all at once. It leaves the story very lopsided, and for the length it is, that's a shame. The first half should be cut in half, and the last quarter needs to double in size to properly balance the work. And the side-quests need to demolished into the bargain.
I'm not saying it's bad, because it's not - it's one of the only mlp stories I have downloaded (mostly because the pdf is the only way to actually read it without going insane) and it's on my list of "stories I will read again one day". True, it's a long list, but for a fanfiction crossing ponies and a game I have minimal exposure too, that's pretty high praise.
It told me what you can get if you get a lot of fans, what you can end up with if you really work at it, and what not to do when writing. I think I'm done ranting about it now.
As an aside, the whole "powerups have bad side effects" is lifted straight from the games, so it's not really a subversion of the gaminess.
I wouldn't quite agree. These kinds of elements are so easy to edit out their inclusion must be deliberate. Kkat is just being cute / thinks "lol vidya gaems" is funny and appropriate comic relief for the story. The FiM quotes are pretty much the same way.
That actually works like that in Fallout. There are guides on using glitches to cure yourself of addiction while keeping the benefits.
Well, that was interesting and probably necessary to keep me from getting too swept away in the story, assuming it's not already too late for that. I wish I knew how to approach stories like this with a critical, analytical mindset like yours. The only way I can think to get that mindset is to write a lot myself and become more familiar with the inner workings of the craft.
I've been waiting to ask the following question since I first caught wind of this little project of yours: Is there anything you want prospective FoE sidefic writers to learn from all this? Let's assume that "don't do it" doesn't qualify as advice in this case.
Incorrect. FO:E has never been edited, to my own dismay (not counting the editing done before publishing a chapter, of course). The people who made the printed book weren't even allowed to correct typos! Kkat says that she wants FO:E to stay preserved in exactly the state it was released in so that she could see her writing progress over time. I understand the sentiment, but I very much disagree with it.
Anyway, thanks for all the time you've spent reading and reviewing this doorstopper! I've certainly enjoyed it.
...Now go read Murky Number Seven.
Thanks for the review.
This was pretty much my impression of the fic from the get go, other than that there was no evidence anywhere I saw that Homage was not the best girlfriend ever. Not that I cared about that.
Good review, and about what I expected to see based on what I remember of the 20 chapters or so I managed to get through.
And now to make a self-indulgent leap in conversational topics: have you read any of Harmony? I can't remember.
PP, regarding DJ Pon-3, the Jekyll and Hyde act seems to be because kkat directly ripped most of that characterization from Three Dog in Fallout 3. Much like a great deal of the good ideas used in FO:E.
As someone who is a big fan of the Fallout universe and has played all of the games put out for it, this whole story made me -very- angry in a lot of parts simply because kkat doesn't even bother to lampshade the fact that she's straight up copy/pasting characters, settings, and events out of Fallout 3 and Fallout:New Vegas.
She could at least have had the taste to use stuff from the better, earlier games.
1038557
How about 'don't fucking do it'.
Great review, and it has been a lot of fun reading the series of blog posts about this.
...you'd have a better rating if you'd have actually played Fallout 3 or New Vegas.
Oh hey, somepony owes me a link to that one guy's FoE review. I forget whose it was.
1038473
No, I think you're on to something there.
Having someone die was a good idea. Having someone die abruptly, and for pretty much no reason, was also a good idea. But having it be Steelhooves wasn't necessarily the best choice (I would have voted for Velvet myself, although that would have destroyed Calamity). I think the purpose was to set SH up as a martyr. Because Littlepip especially continued to hold his memory and think about what he would have done in certain situations. And he's a good character to martyr, but really, that wasn't the best way to kill him off.
Mostly, what I took out of it was "Nopony is safe". Even the two hundred year old badass cloaked in metal armor can just up and fucking die if he's not being careful. (It was still a pretty shitty way to go.)
1038499
Damn. Well, thank you Fallout for getting down with that.
1038528
Totally legit. Of course, "just being cute" is never a good reason to include anything in a story.
1038557
DON'T DO-- Oh. :B
I'll tell you once I've written my side story. The serious one, that is.
Also, story analysis is something you can pick up. Take literary analysis classes if you want the basics, and hang around people who do it if you want things to make sense. There are plenty of reviewers in this fandom, after all, and many of them are quite good at what they do!
1038565
That's weird. <.< Someone told me that. Well, giving her all the credit/blame is easier then. I would count her as a good writer, just one liable to make poor decisions during the writing process.
1038580
HOMAGE IS THE WORST >:( I should write a fic where she spends her last days wandering in a drug-induced haze, talking to SPP towers and pretending like Littlepip can hear her. And then she dies alone like she deserves.
1038631
Yeah, I'm all caught up with it. And when I say FoE gave me a new standard to hold video game crossovers to (that is, watching out for >video games), Harmony is pretty much what I immediately think of. Not that it's >video games, only that it's the first video game crossover I think of anymore.
1038670
Ugh. It's so hard to know what to do about crossovers when you're only familiar with half of what's going on.
1038878
Glad you liked it! :D Just to reiterate, I'm not doing this with Past Sins, which I'll be reading... Probably next month sometime. You can maybe expect another big blog post review, at least.
1038911
Too many stories to read, no time for video games. :V
By the way, does anyone know where I can get a spoilerific overview wiki style synopsis of this fic?
I don't want to read it but I do want to understand it.
1039089
Well, thanks. Once I have the opportunity to do so, I'll be sure to look into some kind of adult education course about this. Better yet, I can ask around all the pony fic IRC chats to look for reviewers to befriend.
I don't want to go too in-depth about the side-stories I'm planning, but you made me think that it would be cool for me to have characters emotionally manipulating each other and getting into unhealthy relationships, but make it intentional and have actual consequences and calling them out for it. And I'll try to make up for or at least downplay the deficiencies you pointed out above.
I'm slightly surprised that you're working on a side-story, and I probably forgot about any prior announcements you made. I thought for a moment that you were sick of this and wanted to be done with it, but I guess you're enamored enough with the setting that you wanted to make better use of it than dumb ol' Kkat, huh?
Oh, but I kid. I don't think she's dumb, but she's not perfect either.
Actually, now that I think about it, I have actually blogged about the first volume of Project Horizons on another blog. I'm thinking of posting it here, where people who actually care about pony fics can see it, but it's embarrassing in parts. There are analytical moments I'm proud of, but I also make calls on it I regret now and descend into fanboy squeeing or weepiness once or twice.
Let's see, my options are: do nothing; make blog posts linking to the original blog entries on Wordpress; copy and paste the entries in my blog verbatim; reread the first volume of PH and revise my original blog statements. If I go by this last option, it's going to take at least a month to transition this to the Fimfiction blog, but otherwise it'll only take a day, a week at best. Which option would you guys recommend?
Damn, I really do need to update My Little Metro.
Anyway, I agree with you on pretty much everything. This was a lot of fun following.
It was a great review, and tons of fun reading about your reactions throughout the story.
If you ever do decide to read another story in the Fo:E universe. Listen to 1038565 and read Murky Number Seven. Between Project Horizons, Heroes, Pink Eyes and MN7, the latter is probably the best of these sidefics in my opinion.
1039123 Here you go. Taken straight from the Fallout: Equestria wiki (yep, there's a wiki).
A few people on the IRC brought this to my attention, so I figure I should say something:
I honestly wasn't expecting so many positive notes. And almost all the negative notes fell into one of three catagories: things that are very Your Mileage May Very and thus others might love (the humor, quotes from the show), things that you shouldn't be reading a grimdark, video-game crossover if you don't like (gore, violence, elements reminiscent of video game mechanics), and reasonable complaints (pacing issues, the fact I can't write romance to save my life).
I've been reading your blog and found it a lot of fun.
The review is bloated and a bit nastier than necessary, and I'm the last person who should complain about that.
Thanks for reading. You'd promised to a while ago, and I really respect your commitment even when you didn't like large amounts of the story. And thank you for the review and the blog. (The blog really was a blast to read.)
--Kkat
1039123
It's got its own wiki. <.< (Edit: Oh look, Unknownlight linked you to it, what a swell guy. :D)
1039182
Go4it, dude. Reread the fic if you need to, keep in mind that second experiences of art can change one's opinion, and then post awayski. :D
Also yes, I've had a side story planned since around... Chapter 30 or so. I've also come up with a number of ideas for parodical one-shots that I may or may not write.
1039225
Part of me hopes that, once I get back into MLM, I don't suddenly see >video games everywhere. c.c There are a lot of similarities between your fic and this, many of them necessarily so, but I don't seem to recall that having been a problem. I could be wrong, it's been a while why aren't you writing more oh god squirrel D:
1039282
I refuse to read any side stories. I double-refuse to read any side stories that are longer than FoE itself.
1039634
...So, we meet again...
I am so confused right now.
If you come away from my review with anything, I would like it to be "You are a good writer, Kkat." I truly believe this. I also truly believe that, at least with FoE, you had a tendency to fall into the trap of "Wouldn't it be cool if..." but so many writers have, and I am hardly the person to blame you for doing so.
Video games aside, my biggest complaint about this story is the high level of grimdark. I mean, I've read grimdark, I like grimdark, and even other video game crossovers like My Little Metro, where there's gore and violence. But Fallout: Equestria takes that grimdarkness to extreme, almost absurd levels at times, and I often found myself asking "why?"
Oh god help D:
I would like to, right the heck now, mention something: the one spot where I attack you directly. Mounting levels of frustration with the story broke at that point, but that kind of thing is not cool and I'll apologize now. If anything, take heart that you were able to write such a good character that I could become so invested in him that I would want to, essentially, defend him from his writer. Because if there's one thing that makes me glad I read Fallout: Equestria, it's Calamity. Bravo to you on his behalf.
Oh gosh, I'd forgotten about that. D: Probably for the best. You got an unfiltered opinion this entire time because I figured, even after finding out you actually have a fimfic account, that you wouldn't actually be reading my blogs. :) I'm glad you were entertained.
Good to know that info wasn't just coming from hearsay. Again, I'd forgotten all about that conversation.
Y'know, I tend to take a "we're only getting half the story" view of the show myself. That's why I often write the mane cast as acting a little older: having relationships, getting drunk, swearing, that kind of thing. And it's not even the dark parts that I object to (if you cut a pony in my stories, they will bleed), but the grimness. Individuals' definitions vary, but basically what I'm saying is, everything in the show turns out okay for all involved, save perhaps those who start a given conflict. There are no casualties. There are, frequently, no consequences at all. So interpretations of the actual show setting itself that take a bleaker tract are what get me going, "No, you're wrong."
Regardless, there's merit in grimdark, if only for being able to push the boundaries of a show meant for children. Apologies too if I came off harshly. I have a funny feeling I will making myself into a hypocrite in the near future, should I move forward on this side story thing. :)
Wooooah! This was interesting as hell. You have a completely different opinion to Ezn!
As promised, http://eznwords.tumblr.com/post/14858277066/foereview
I definitely agree about a lot of criticisms you had to make here. I'm not sure about the >too-vidya comments though, since I think most of the 'gamification' conventions used (power ups, healing, stats, VATS) are used completely on purpose—I took the whole thing as like a big, scripted MMO playthrough transcript, and from the context of the game most of the gore and stuff makes sense. I can see how it could be annoying for someone who hasn't played the game though. (well let's be honest here, how many people jump into a 625k epic crossover without actually checking out the source material? xP)
The one thing you don't seem to mention, which Ezn does, is the pretentious quotes and one line paragraphs. I'm not sure which version you read, but the rough'n'ready version Ezn and I read was full of quotes and vignettes and other silliness that actively put me off. Maybe your edited version spared you that horror/pain. Lucky bastard.
Anyway, I think out of five I would agree with 3. I would probably go for a 3.5 though, just because. The whole 'reason why it's popular' thing is a little unfair; I haven't read anything in the fandom quite like Fo:E. I haven't even found any of its own spin-offs and fanfics that engaged me like the original did, and I've read the big ones. I even gave up halfway through on some of them, which is kinda rare for me. I've even
readtried to read Short Skirts' magnum opus but that didn't quite get me like Fo:E. Maybe I'm just dumb, who knows. Maybe I just haven't been looking hard enough? Are there any like, 'Essential MLP fiction guides'? I suppose I should continue my perusal of the EqD five-star list or whatever...Generally though I'll have to say I did enjoy the hell out of the bulk of it though. Littlepip was too whiny, there was a lot of fluff, the first third could definitely be cut, and most of your other criticisms apply, but it was definitely one hell of a ride. Mad props.
obligatory "Y'all know this is just my opinion, right?"
1039914
Ah, thank you sir. :D
Hard to notice while listening to an audiobook. :B
I've not read Background Pony myself, but I've heard it has some major issues. It's also pretty much #4 in the Big Three now.
As for essential fiction guides, I dunno. Using the EQD star rankings is good (up until they stop existing; also if you want to read shipping, expand that list to 4-stars), going somewhere like One Man's Pony Ramblings is also good, though kind of the same thing.
Also, just read Ezn's post, and I wouldn't say we're that far apart, though he was far more forgiving overall. But then, I think that's the difference between reading it serially as it's being written (he says he started when chapter 19 was new, so it wasn't even halfway finished) and reading it a year+ after it's not only been finished, but become one of the biggest things ever in this fandom. Not to mention I set out with an eye to both analyze and snark it (and ended up enjoying it despite that!)
1039951
it shows how disconnected I am from this whole thing... I guess Background Pony has eclipsed The End of Ponies in popularity but I mean EoP xP I too have not read BP yet, hopefully he changes his style up a little from EoP in that one...
dammit
I guess it's a little unfair to compare this review with Ezn's directly then, although I'm pretty sure that Fo:E was quite popular even while it was being written. It just boils down to Ezn being much more cuddly and soft that you! (and a dirty hipster like me, getting into things waaaaaay before they were mainstream) (deliberately omitted pun)
maybe I'll make a little image macro of essential ponyfics a la LINK who knows.... I could just shove together everything from One Man's Pony Ramblings and EqD
1040042
After I wrote that, I wondered if you mightn't've meant EoP. I haven't read that either, but I've also heard it has problems. :B So take that as you will.
1039951
So what are the big 3?
I know FO:E and Past Sins.
What's #3?
If Background Pony is #4...
End of Ponies?
Antipodes?
Project Horizons?
Through the Eyes of Another Pony?
Oh and do you read The Sweetie Chronicles? It's a great way to take a brief dip in a couple of the FO:E side stories without actually reading one.
1040224
The Big Three are FoE, Past Sins and My Little Dashie, sadly. And we already know my thoughts on MLD.
Other contenders are Background Pony and I don't really keep track beyond that.
Sweetie Chronicles is somewhere in my list of audiobooks, so I'll get to it eventually.
1040266
Oh, big 3 in popularity, not length then. I gotcha.
Looks like it was quite a journey. But it looks like... there are eyes in your blog. If I ever manage to remember I'll sent a message about some comments I wanted to make. Just out of the view of prying eyes.
1040382
Oh yes, not length at all.
I mean, Project Horizons is like twice FoE's length, and it's still not done. There's some crazy-long shit out there, but most of it isn't that well known.
1040771
I know what you mean.
Just encountered a 167 chapter long (and these are normal 3000~ chapters) story the other day.
The blog was an interesting read, even though I wish there had been a little more context for a bunch of your thoughts. I personally got kind of bored with Fallout: Equestria around chapter 11 or so, so I had no idea what you were talking about through a bunch of it. That added a bit to the humor, but a little more context sometimes would have been nice. Still, I had some fun reading it.
1041148
Nature of the beast, I'm afraid. :B Like I said, won't be doing that format again, or at least not planning to.
1040266
I understand why Past Sins is included, but what's with MLD? It's not nearly as notable.
These people had it easy. I was introduced through cupcakes.
Yeah, this actually happened.
1112158
Try this.
Head up to the top of the page and click Browse. Change the order drop-down to Views and hit Filter.
Note the difference in views between positions 1 and 2. That's why it's included. Or at least the start of why.
1113121
the fu... how is this possible?
1113406
Sorry for the necro, but I just wanted to say that binging your vs. blogs about FoE was a blast and this review is solid. I'll always adore Fallout: Equestria, but it was fun seeing it through somewhat more critical eyes.
(Also, for some reason Google doesn't have your older blog posts indexed, so I had a hell of a time finding this series after seeing from your vs. Eternal blog (which I was put onto by TD's hot-n-fresh review of Eternal) that you'd read FoE.)
4450140
Possibly has to do with not having tagged things back then? I dunno. Don't wanna do it now. :B
Also holy shit why are you commenting on this it is old and bad D:
4450260
I couldn't help but read it after hearing that you didn't absolutely hate FoE, had to find out what you thought.
Thank you for this review. I think I had too high expectatives of the fanfic. Now I'll be able to read it without the poison of hype.