The End · 1:32am Jan 30th, 2013
Three times I have considered abandoning The Immortal Game.
That sounds harsh; it is. At no point in the past sixteen months have I suffered any illusions about who’s in control here. I write this story because I want to, and if I didn’t want to, I could stop. It would be a terrible thing to do to you, the reader, but there it is. That door has always been open to me. Three times I considered going through it.
Because the truth is that writing long is a pain in the ass. It’s easy to get high off a good idea and write an entire one shot before you crash, but it’s harder to keep up a sustained addiction. Okay, my analogy fell to pieces back there, but you get the idea. When you write long, there are bumps along the way.
The first time I wanted to bail was shortly after the story was published on Equestria Daily. It barely scraped out a rating of four stars—and now you go “four out of five isn’t bad at all, I don’t see why that would upset him.” The truth is that TIG’s initial rating placed it in the bottom five percent of all fics on Equestria Daily, ever.
It wasn’t that my expectations weren’t met: in truth I didn’t have expectations. It was just that I had come face to face with TIG’s destiny. I would write out the next eighty thousand words of the story in what even I would admit was pretty mediocre writing, receive a little bit of attention and praise for it, and then move on to maybe write something else. Quitting seemed appealing—what did I have to prove by sticking around?
“Always finish what you set your hand to,” says Durnik. I’ve known him since I was seven years old.
I’ve had trouble writing the epilogue. Perhaps that’s an understatement. Never before have I felt so much like I have no idea what I’m doing, like I’m just making shit up as I go along, like I’m a total ameteur playing at epic fantasy the way a child plays at being a knight by wearing a kitchen pot for a helmet. Two months ago I was tearing my fucking hair out trying to figure out how to finish my story, with no ideas in sight.
The second time I considered leaving the story was for altogether different reasons, and it was around the release of chapter fourteen. I was writing The Power to Destroy and God, and an interesting thought occurred to me: why not just have them, well... win? What if Titan never bats away the Elements of Harmony and instead becomes a statue on Celestia’s lawn? What if Terra gets her head chopped off before she ever gets a chance to be anything but evil?
I knew that those two chapters I was writing, with the catharsis from Twilight Sparkle’s unification, were going to be the best in the story. I wasn’t going to top the Battle of Canterlot in the third act no matter how high I turned the volume or how much money I blew on special effects. It was all downhill from here, so why not just call it? Sure, the story would be worse overall, but it would end on a high note and I would save months and months of my own time.
“Always do the very best job you can,” says Durnik. For those of you confused, I’m referencing a character from The Belgariad, a series of novels I read as a boy. And as strange as it sounds, the dialogue surrounding these two lines has always stuck with me.
I’ll explain why the epilogue has been so hard.
I can’t make you happy. I don’t know what you want. See, I’ve gone around to almost a dozen people—prereaders, friends who read the story—and I’ve asked them what they think should go in the epilogue. I’ve gotten messages from readers, too, telling me that character X needs to make an appearance and plotline Y needs resolving. I’ve finished three drafts of the epilogue—the cumulative word total between the lot of them is about thirty thousand—and in each case I’ve had a different set of people tell me they’re disappointed at the lack of element Z.
I could conceivably answer every question that you might have about the events of the story, except then somebody would ask a new question I’d failed to answer. I could write a separate scene from the POV of every major character to give them closure, but that alone is twelve characters and around forty thousand words. I could tie everything up nice and neatly, and the result would be a terrible mess.
And so the third time I considered leaving my fair lady was about ten weeks ago, when I realized that I can’t make you happy. In a very simple sense, and in my mind, TIG has one plot, and that plot happens in a world with a lot going on. Not every question needs to be answered to resolve that one plot. Not every character needs to have their destiny laid bare. And so I thought: the plot is done, the conflict is over, why bother going on with an epilogue that will fail to meet expectations?
Ultimately I decided I was being a lazy dick and hitched up my trousers, but that still didn’t help my predicament. I can’t make you happy.
I’m a little embarrassed that the solution I ended up using took me so long to come to. See, I can make myself happy. I can write what I feel is a balanced ending and leave it at that. And while that might seem simple—it is, after all, how I wrote the rest of the story—believe me when I say I terrorized myself for months over this.
The purpose of this blog is not to extoll my excellent work ethic—though I’m aware it does that to some extent, which is a little annoying. Instead I want to offer up a bit of explanation as to why it took so long to write, and I wanted to say this:
I’m glad I didn’t give up writing this story when it was only ten thousand words long: I’m glad I wrote it through to the end. I’ve made friends I hope to keep for decades to come. I’m grateful to twenty thousand people who let me share a story with them. I’ve learned that building a skill takes thousands of hours of practice, and that writing is a hobby I can hold onto for the rest of my life.
I have a lot to learn.
You chose a hell-of-a time to post the epilogue. Right in the middle of the shitstorm.
Edit: No need to pander to us readers! Always remember this. Thank you for putting up with us and sticking it out to the end. Your story is one I will not forget until the day I die.
I personally am glad to see that you've stuck it out.
Now to read!
I somehow didn't realize there was anything left to write. I counted this story finished and finished well long ago. Given that this is the case, I don't think we really need an epilogue. I'm sure it would wrap things up better, but things were plenty done for me when you last posted on it.
Wisdom isn't the first thing I'd expect to get out of a David Eddings book, but it sounds like it's worked out pretty well for you so far. Thanks for sticking to it, whatever the inspiration.
Thank you for finishing the story, it was one hell of a ride, you deserve every thumb up you received and then some
All in all, i'm very happy you continued what was the first fan fiction i ever picked up, and what has grown to be what is possibly my single favorite piece of literature to date.
You may have a lot to learn, but don't forget all that you've mastered.
Silver out!
769823
One of the great things about reading it while I was seven was that I had no idea how terribly generic the plot was. I was experiencing it for the first time.
Ah, I'm going to savor this epilogue.
With it now being complete, I can honestly say that TIG is my favorite fic in the fandom. There's nothing you could do in this final chapter to make me change my mind about that because, as you said, the plot was already over. And I enjoyed every second of it. In fact, it's one of the reasons why I decided to take the plunge and start writing out the stories I had in my head.
Thank you for this
my past two months waiting for this has been something like:
" (like once a week after two weeks had passed from the last chapter)
"sure is taking a while, but im sure it can't be dead, there's only the epilogue left, no one would leave their story unfinished when there's only the epilogue left, especially one so incredibly good and popular....please don't be dead
really glad you stayed with it until the end, TiG is probably my favorite story in its category, maybe favorite amongst all of the ones i've read (at the very least it's on shared first place with others).
769915
Being told that I helped somebody else come to write their own stuff remains one of the surest ways to make my day. High five.
Cadet is sad :(
This story is up there with Growing Pains and Airstream's current duology, imo :v
769857 There's something to be said for coming into the Belgariad later in life. My then-fiancee and I managed to cover it and the sequels aloud over a few weeks a couple of years ago. It becomes hilarious when you get bored and start (consistently) substituting ridiculous phrases for the ones he likes so much.
At this point, "It makes sense, Belgarath" has become a household saying for redundant or really blatant exposition.
Loved the Belgariad. One of the first book series I bought myself. Even if it WAS from a used library book sale. And because this seems like a better place than the actual chapter (and I apologize if you don't want to field questions like this), did you decide on what happened or what you wanted to have happen to Discord? I don't recall reading anything about him in the chapter.
The only way you could've made me unhappy is if had given up.
Heck, I would have been happy with how it ended in the last chapter before the epilouge. I loved this fic and the world and the abilities you have given us all. You have inspired me sir to add some new spells to my own stories (bladecasting is now a wizard spell). You found a way to wrap us all around your finger and we love you for it. So thank you.
And as you said, writing is a great hobby one that is only growing and you can only get better at it the more you learn.
769966
Eddings was so good at writing characters I reread those books every couple of years because it's like visiting old friends.
769967
He's out there, but he knows that if he comes back he's going to get stoned by three alicorns who are now armed with Titan's spells as well as the Elements of Harmony. Not exactly a situation that works to his favor.
This made my day. And easily canceled out the still-undecided feelings I had for the coronation.
Thanks for sticking with this; it means a lot to me and, I'm sure, many others too.
769967
Also, sorry for the double comment, but that is a ridiculously cute avatar. Jesus.
770013
you know, that makes such a crazy amount of sense that I'm honestly shocked that I didn't think about it before.
769951
It helped me as well.
If my new projects become successes, expect to receive praise for being part of the inspiration. It wasn't just you, but you played a HUGE part in my desire to improve my own writing.
TIG remains my number one and I predict that no other will take its place for a LONG time.
Thank you!
Silver out!
770028
heh, thanks! for it and other adorable pictures, check out this deviant art page
Sweet, I'm about to start reading the epilogue. Just FYI you'll want to mark the story as complete or fanboys like me will think there's going to be more. I can't wait to see how you ended this.
770069
I totally forgot to do that. Thanks.
Only four stars? Now I'm pissed. This fic deserves four THOUSAND stars!!
On another note, would you mind if I looked into making a fanmade video game out of this? No promises, since I know very little about game design and already have a lot of stuff on my plate, but I'll definitely try.
769951
If you like hearing, then you should know it was the same way for me. I never really wanted to write anything until I read your fic (it's all pretty awful, but hey, I like doing it). Easily my favorite of the fandom, if not my favorite thing I've ever read.
Sweet rosy hell! I read about a third of that and decided you should have stopped! I'm very glad that you didn't, don't get me wrong, but still, it sounds like you tried your damnedest to run yourself straight into the ground! Sounds like you need to step back and take a breather for a bit.
I love the ending and considering how many balls you had in the air it is a truly magnificent way to end this amazing story
. My only problem is that I don't know what happened to Sir Unimpressive, but that's an acceptably minor complaint in a story like this
Star Rating on EQD is ridiculous and broken. It's only a judge of weird popularity flavored with the whim of whoever tagged it at the time. My Little Dashie is NOT a six star story. I refuse to allow that. But anyway.
Congratulations and kudos on finishing the story, and doing it the hard and rewarding way. It requires so much commitment and obsession just to make it through one of these. The thing I wrote was half this length and I could feel my will breaking at points. But I think it makes you grow as a writer in ways that maybe short pieces don't.
You have no idea how much you've disappointed me, Aesthetic.
770304
I know you wish the final scene was one huge orgy, but that doesn't make sense at all. I'm not even a bird, for one.
770342
How can I go on any heists with you knowing that?
We're through, man.
770351
What? I can still fit in the mini, stop being racist.
Oh. A 'meh' kind of day and TIG is done. Talk about ending on a high note. Here's to a story well done! You totally can't see it, but I'm toasting you. It's the thought that counts, or so I've been told.
770355
You smell like hot dogs though. You're gonna give us away.
770420
Well you smell like unsauced pizza. Just imagine that. Just imagine how embarrassing it's going to be when a guard finds you and realizes you didn't even sauce your pizza.
770451
Look, I don't know what kind of communist pizzas they sell you up there in Mooseland or whatever, but our pizzas? They come with sauce. It sits between the crust and the cheese.
Ahh, I've been waiting to see how you wrap it up. It's a pity you put yourself through such a ringer for it, though I figure most want to see how you end it rather than a specific ending. What's the point of writing as a hobby if you're writing what someone else wants you to write rather than what you want to write?
Sees what you did with that last line.
(Through tears I might add.)
If you ever write anything else, I'm there.
Thank you.
Thank you for not giving up.
I'm about to start the third "episode" (chapter, but I'm using TV show parlance) of my own magnum opus. I know I'll suffer schedule slip if I post it as I go, not to mention all the arching details are still baking and settling, so I'm writing the entire 30+ chapter fic before even thinking about posting it. Writing long sucks hard.
I keep wondering if it's worthwhile, but it's been firmly rooted in my head for a year. Figuring out how vampires work in a world of magic, weaponized friendship, and co-ruling physical goddesses is an excellent mental exercise. Then I wonder if anyone's even interested, or if what I've written is just crap, or if my editing skills can make the crap suck less, or if I'll ever actually finish it. And of course, will I get the sort of praise that justifies the effort I'll be pouring into the writing? Intellectually I realize that expectations are just preconceived resentments, and motivation should come from within. But dammit, I want to see someone genuinely post a Kane clap gif or something. I want to know that my writing matters so I don't end up regretting it.
While I understand how we authors never feel entirely satisfied, your so-called 'mediocre' is one of the best stories I've read in a long while. I recommend it to pretty much everyone who so much as mentions ponyfics, and I've heard it recommended out of the blue. I look forward to seeing how it ends. Thank you for not quitting, and thank you for a truly epic tale.
P.S. The right kitchen pot has excellent protective qualities without sacrificing range of vision. Grab a large lid and utensil of choice and you're set to take on any number of ninjas. True story.
Why are everyone's blogs sounding so much like they're preparing to pack up and ship out?
Sooooo it just so happened to fall on the same day that Twi was officially announced as a princess. I honestly have no idea how this could have been timed anymore perfectly. I'd make some corny DnD reference about luck rolls but I still don't think that it could describe this. Funny enough I was just telling my friend this morning that I had no clue when this was going to update again. Ha there is so much coincidence today for me
Now, TIG is absolutely fantastic, Twilight's entire arc in particular being so ridiculously nuanced that flarshethbargle. Yes.
And the epilogue is the capstone on all of that...but there was one thing, at least for me. I reached "THE END" of The End, and, well...
What happened to Rainbow Dash? She had the whole complex arc, and then she seemed missing from the finale. I'm not just forgetting she died or something, am I?
I've gotta say it's been one hell of a ride Aesthetic, and thanks, for every minute of it.
And about the EQD star thing, I doubt it was any fault of your story's, as was evident by its six star rating a little later on. At the time the mindset of EQD was "oh look more of this grimdark crap" and was plagued by roving bands of instant one stars to anything shipping or grimdark. It's part of the reason they got rid of the star rating system anyway.
I just want to say, I both respect you as an author and a person, Aesthetic. You've woven a fantastic tale and no matter what doubts you may have about how your ending won't meet satisfaction know this: you have done something very few people can do. You've put your soul into this story. And the result will be something fantastic no matter what doubts you may have had.
I remember asking you months ago about a sequel and your response then was something that made me laugh. Not because it was particularly funny, but because you actually responded. You were under no obligation to as I was just some dude who read words you put to type. Doubt you remember it by this point, but it was "The sequel will be Ponies Make Love, a serial clop fic in which Twilight is taken on as Luna's pupil, and must learn the ways of night. Specifically, she must learn how to have disgusting pony sex with everything she sees."
Thank you for all the hard work that you have put into this story. All the time it must have taken from you. bask in the e-fame you will get. You have earned it.
And get to working on Ponies Make Love.
i am glad that i am not the only avid reader of David Eddings. i love the Belgariad, the Mallorean was icing, then came the Rivan Codex, Belgarath the sorcerer, and lastly Polgara the sorceress. after that i dug my mental teeth into the Ellenium and then the Tamuli. so many good memories found in these books. so many old friends made through reading of the adventures and conversations they had. is it any wonder that i have each book in my personal library? in hard cover and paper back?
now that TiG has wraped up and sung its swan song i have to wonder what will come next for you? have you any other epics kicking about in your head that are just begging, no, demanding to be let out?
Thanks once again for this wonderful story!
Thank you for sticking with it, Aesthetic. You might not be able to make everyone happy, but you succeeded with me at least.
Glad to see you didn't quit B, Remember, write for you first and your audience later, our opinions mean nothing compared to your own!
-Minty