I'm not an alt! You're an alt! The whole darn system is an alt!

Call me Cheese Sandwich, cause I'm here to make you laugh!

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Forget not that I am a derp.

Just some guy, riding out his time.

Imagine Nancy Drew with a thermonuclear capacity and you've pretty much got the idea.

Writer of long, character-driven smut of astounding filthiness, lesbian mind-control a speciality. Short-Fic Commission Slots Now Closed

I...I am a monument to all your sins...