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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Sapphire Shore. I want to hear her sing
Maybe it's been too long since I looked at this story but I don't remember the writing/editing being this bad. The amount of uncapitalized names is annoying by itself but combine that with some of the most atrocious grammar I have seen on this website. What person really says "What happen?" People would use the proper tense of "what happened?" Throw in missing commas and you have one of the hardest to read 20k words ever. This needs editing to not be so hard to read.
I vote for Sapphire Shore.
Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash.
4787099 i know i know i have alot of errors k.
Sapphire Shore!
Rainbow Dash defintly Rainbow Dash
Pinkie Pie.
And hows about the treatment causes her to put on ome weight for a few months, if you catch my drift.
sapphire shore
Shore
Sapphire Shore, I imagine Rarity being fascinated not because they are rolling on the hay because hey its his job but because its a perfect opportunity like Rarity will say 'IIIIIdea!'
She could ask him to rot her so hard that she will need some time to regain her conscience and Rarity then strike and tell her about her business and how much she will just love to help her make another design for her incoming concert. I can imagine
Oh Celestia! you are going to give a special treatment to Sapphire Shore!?
"Rarity please its just for a job but if it is to much I can cancel and…"
Cancel?! heavens no! honey you must take her! you must rut her like there is no tomorrow!
Look at her confused "What?"
I have being DYENG to make Sapphire Shore design for years but her agenda is so tight that I can't go near her, but if you can tire her up enough I will had more than enough time to offer my services!
"Rarity I don't think that will be…"
Please honey! I…I'm willing to join in
"What?!"
If not after then perhaps during the season yeah! I can talk with her and you can drink as much milk of me as you want its a win/win
Start to drool
Honey?
P.S: Why would Luna will be furious? he save everyone, wouldn't she be more concern?
4789255 yes however luna was still in the hospital and he didn't tell her he was leaving to save an empire. so she's a little tick and alittle happy as well
4789352
He didn't tell? Celestia practically TOSS him into the train before he can say ANYTHING, he is innocent if anything CELESTIA is the one in BIG trouble
Sapphire Shore Plz
Sapphire Shore. Lightningace has a great dialog for what might happen in such an event.
The shores
Sapphire Shore
4790231
Hey thanks I like to put a picture into how good that sounds
4790231 heck yeah
Sapphire Shores
Madgod demands Sapphire Shores.
Sapphire Shore or Pinkie Pie, either one would be a great read and please keep up the good work. Storm's.....Enthusiasm with the ladies vs his buddy had me in stitches as do most of your chapters. hope the next one is just as great!
Sapphire Shore.
4791584
thanks dude glad you like it
sapphire shore
First of all the chapter was awesome beyond awesome it grabs you and won't let go I loved it all I just can't chose a fav part.it just keeps getting better and better .Second SAPPHIRE SHORE I can't wait to see what happens between them all next and what happens next to them all.
Sapphire Shores
Can I submit an OC to befriend the human?
4797560 sure but be best to put on private message. i can use a small bio and learn a bit about your oc. k nothing to serious just have these about him
name
looks:
occupation:
bio:
and personality:
kay those i need alright
sapphire
Awesome chapter man and Shapphire
Sapphire Shores
Sapphire Shore.
4832740 yeah but then again that would end the story from there now would it huh. besides i prefer my characters alive even though i would enjoy the see their insides sometimes. and before you ask am i that f@#ked up the answer is yes i am.
4832740
I don't think so, I mean Ms Cake practically trow herself at him and forgot to look the door and in that society we all know mares can't control themselves some times if anything she should be mad at Ms Cake for be so careless and force poor 'me' to tell the bees and birds talk
……and as punishment she will had to hold the next CMC sleep over…on her house muahahahaha!
Okay Im going to say this out of curiosity. hoity a toity.
I have to ask, what happened? I don't remember this many errors in any chapters of this series. Sentences you have to read a few times to get the meaning. Names and places not capitalized. Did you write this in a rush? As for my vote, I say Pinkie Pie because he got his other marefriends alone during massages, so it's Pinkie's turn. BTW, why was Luna so pissed at the human at the end?
I took a look through the story and not to be mean; but you do know that umbra is a unicorn and not an earth pony right? Just to be sure. Oh I'd also like to see Sapphire Shore.
I'm worried for another thing.
If it's true that a princess is "immortal", Twilight will be young for a long time, and her friends will die for old age.
Sapphire Shore.
I loved this chapter thanks to the fight scenes and what made it even better is how you incorporated assassin's creed into it. You didn't rush out with anything too op. You eased it in slowly unlike others who would throw it at the readers and make the main character over powered. you need to work a bit more on the grammar but all in all this is a very acceptable chapter. I give it a 7 out of 10.
4904187 hey thanks man and yes some parts are like assassin creed due to my love of the series and i always wanted to do something like that. however the creed family will not be mention at all in the story but it doesn't hurt to have the special weapons a skilled assassin carries. and with the humans parkour abilities and kind heart for the citizen sometimes he feels like a american enzio. that's what i believe so far again thank you.
4929328 no trying to be rude or anything but did you write enzio on purpose or did you mean ezio perhaps?
lol he has chrysalis (i didn't forget she called him master as if she is his submissive) and now umbra at his call as well and the main 6 and one princess of the night with his kid and i think a whole town damn this guy shouldn't be complaining i wish i was in his place
5002249 Oddly specific....
4949596 yes however he is not a member of the creed family. yes the hidden blade is a part as well as the honor however it's different
5004575 indeed
5003081 and that's a bad thing?
5007773 Not necessarily. However your use of pedobear as an avatar maybe.... or not.
This is the internet after all. So in any case howdy!
5007947 Pedobear? Is that was this is?
I just thought it was a cool looking bear...
5007996
I think you and I are gong to get along just fine here.
4866725 Since the human left without telling her, that's why she's pissed I would also like to see Sapphire Shores