Going to favorite this story and could you do either Twilight or Trixie next?

First, this seems like a good enough clopfic. I mean, it has sex in it.

However, I'd recommend trying to find someone like a prereader, or even an editor, to fix some of the mistakes that are here and there (totally willing to help; looking for work).

Again, seems like good clop, with an interesting idea, and a nice setup (characters at the spa/spa day gone right).

So, yeah. That's that.

YES!!! YES!!!

This clopfic is good please do twilight next

Woah this whas one intens firs chapter. Can't waite for the rest of them also the romance tag mean thet there is porn in it only or there will be a love story in it?

so far this is good but you really need a pre-reader dude or just simply go through it a couple of times checking everything to make sure its sounds and looks right for us readers sometimes the absence basic vocabulary and grammar can throw some people of as for the clop its pretty good i'd give it 7-8/10 especially since its you're first clop fic too so good job and keep this up

2356107 well man i do really need some help and if you are can help me i would really apreciate it very much

2357828

Just PM me and we can get this show on the road. Whatever you need, I'll be more than happy to help.

2357878 um pm? sorry to say but i'm not sure how to do that. i'm not the good when it comes to technology.

2357894

Is there some way I could contact you, then?

skype i have
any other ways i could pm this.

*reads, then spots certain anatomical details...*
Woot! Anthroponies!
Heck, I'm in!

a few grammer mistakes and the indeseshen to contnu but other then that

Ps must continu

Nice story man. I hope to see twilight next or Fluttershy from a request from Rarity.

I liked it, please continue, oh and Fluttershy can be next? Perhaps with Rarity? I want him giving his special treatment to the princesses but leave them for later own, I want him, to build up experience before diving into the challenge ones?

Also, in this world did estrus exist?

Very nice. I would to see either Pinkie Pie or a three way between Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Imagine with Pinkie Pie, she would do stuff that would blow your mind among other things. With Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, when they reach heaven, the "Royal Canterlot Voice" would come into play from both of them if you catch my drift.

2361154 well so far if you read some of the comments. some are prefering twilight, while another are prefering zecora, fluttershy, applejack and even trixe

Anthro? Yeah. Stamp of approval.

As others have said, recommend a pre-reader/editor then this fic would be near perfect. Good job!

Nice story so far, the execution of the love scenes are great, nice dialogues too. Be sure that you don't put all your big guns on one character as it would make the other scene stale and repetitive, character's personality notwithstanding, have some unique variety to create some diversity between each character. I also recommend use the major cast (like Mane6, the Princesses, etc) sparingly as they are like the main course of the story, I suggest using like a background character or 2 before using the next major character, as it would give some...time to think up some great scenes that is involved with them.

However, some work still needs some work. Such as some grammar errors, such as having character name capitalized, and some paragraphs are not consistent with the flow. However, having a proofreader to fix common grammar errors and having a editor to rewrite sentences, will help you out with that.

Hope this helps

Wow......... Just.... Wow....... awesome story

2361238 i'd love to see applejack, and that's logical since you must really get tired and stressed from all that farm work

Not really a romance story, but still a good read.

ok after reading this a second time I noticed that you need to work on the grammer a bit nothing to major just a few words in the wrong places and if you what I can point you to a guy who is great with 2nd person fics

Sign up for our Heavenly Paradise Massage. It'll make sure you come again! And again. And again. And again.

Hope you update soon this fic is good

Okay, I admit that when I saw the title, this would be another poorly written sub-par clopfic. But noo, you had to go and prove me wrong!

This is well written (aside from a few grammar mistakes) , and I expect to see more from you on this theme. MOAR!

I loved it all so much loved the story and the clop both so much:I can't wait to see who's next

HOT
i have a thing for massage-sex

compliments a great story I recommend you continue to write
img.pandawhale.com/42268-You-had-my-curiosity-but-now-y-MK6z.gif

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mlpchan.net/arch/src/mtr_1380251103296.gif
I regret nothing...

Honestly that was a lot better than I thought it would be. I was gonna give up on this fic because it doesn't have the title capitalized in the right places. I'm glad I didn't give up on it.

I have the biggest freaking grin on right now. Like pinkie's

You turn your head in time to see Lotus as she walks out, presumably back yo her post next to the front door.

I think you meant 'to'.

2356787
I read that in Rarity's voice.

......lucky mutt.....hhmm i wonder if i can find a warehouse thats for sale to get so i would have a place for a project for dimensional gateway to equestria

5962421
If you do that take me with you pls

Can you make a prequl chapter of how his life was like before and after he got to Equestria?

5962421 A warehouse u looking for? I have just the thing for you with a condition

7500221 awsome what is condition

You turn your head in time to see Lotus as she walks out, presumably back yo her post next to the front door.

to

She back almost immeadietly after leaving, and you quickly look away, turning your head forward to continue finishing up. Lotus giggles at your behavior.

She came back almost immediately

Well, I would say that this is decent. Decent setup, decent writing, good description of the clop. All in all, I didn't feel arousal, but it was a good enough story that I continued reading anyways. The lack of arousal can be explained several, various ways, such as how I'm not really in the mood for masturbating, simply in the mood to read.

Huh. So he's not so much a massage therapist as he is a prostitute who offers other services.

Two words that define that Famfic: SAVAGE and HEAT Oo

“I’m ready, my dear. Take me up the stairway to Heaven,” she says, almost in a seductive tone.

Not only does this remind me of the song it reminds me of the time I heard someone sing stairway to heaven in the voice of Kermit the Frog

9264450
That line was almost as cheesy as the fact that the author is pushing that Equestria even knows what heaven is.

Last time I checked, the only religious contexts in existence usually revolved around the princesses...

Absolutely awesome

if you guys like and wish to see another pony enjoy heavenly paradise massage. please i welcome that you comment on who you want to read next time.

I just found this story and judging by the fact that there are 60+ chapters I'd say people definitely enjoy it.