Sweetie Belle 3
Why Am I Crying?
By The Rated Ponystar
Formally Edited by: Clavier, Mr. Minimii and Apple Cinnamon
Edited by: Unnamed Pawn and First_Down
Thanks to Catnipfairy for her artwork!
***
Sweetie Belle did not know how she came to find herself in a cemetery, but she knew that she had to get out of here. Gray, depressing clouds lingered over her head as she tried to find some kind of exit among the field of tombstones inscribed with the names of those who slept beneath them. Just the sight of the written stones made her shiver.
No sooner had she started to fear that she’d never find a way out, Sweetie Belle saw a group of ponies in the distance, slowly marching in the opposite direction. Hoping they could help her escape, she rushed towards them, only to stop when she saw what kind of a march it was and who was in it. Her family, dressed in black and looking down with tears streaming down their faces, braced a small wooden coffin under their hooves as they walked behind Rarity’s friends. Not a single one of them was smiling, not even Pinkie Pie whose mane had completely fallen into a straight downward style. Her fellow crusaders Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, even Babs Seed from Manehattan, formed the tail end of the dour procession. Their black outfits matched everypony else's, but they’d augmented their garb with their crusader capes. A dark, sinking feeling grew inside Sweetie Belle as she realized the most important thing about the funeral march: she wasn’t there.
She wasn’t among her family, crying her eyes out, nor was she beside her friends. Sweetie Belle looked twice, even three times, but there was no sight of her. Her eyes then turned to the coffin held by Rarity’s fellow Elements. No... no this can’t be...
Fearfully, she galloped toward her family and tried to tackle them, but she went straight through and landed face first in the dirt. Spitting out the dirt and grass in her mouth, she turned around and tried again, this time with her fellow Crusaders. Again, she phased through like she was air.
It felt like a lump of ice had formed in her stomach, slowly freezing her from the inside with each passing second, even as sweat poured down her brow. She screamed and cried out for her family and friends, her voice burning in pain with each attempt. But they didn’t look in her direction, exhausted gazes grimly focused on a single open grave up ahead.
Sweetie Belle, tired from her yelling, followed them until they arrived at the coffin’s final destination. Using her magic, Twilight Sparkle hovered the coffin over the grave and, without a word, nodded to the rest of the crowd before opening the top. Sweetie Belle wanted nothing more than to look away, to not see who it was that was inside despite already knowing. Her fears grew more and more as the lid slowly opened up until she saw who it was that lay inside.
She was a small filly unicorn, with a light grey coat, her mane was grayish mulberry with pale, light grayish rose streaks. Although there was no smile on her face, she looked to be sleep on the red velvet pillow her head gently rested on. She wore a bright pink and white dress, with the design looking both mournful and yet beautiful. Her tiny hooves rested upon her chest that no longer raised and fell, with a single red rose held underneath them that tickled the edge of her chin.
Sweetie Belle knew who this filly was. It was her.
I’m dead.
Some small part that wasn’t on the cusp of mental hyperventilation repeated those two words over and over. It occurred to Sweetie Belle that she’d never seen herself with her eyes closed before. Every time she’d looked in a mirror, the reflection was bright and alert, active in some way. Now, it was like she was looking at some other filly with a similar light gray coat and curling mane of grayish mulberry and rose. There was no smile on her face, no grimace of pain. The lips were drawn tight against her mouth, but other than that it was entirely expressionless. Her dress was a beautifully mournful arrangement of pink and white, and a single red rose lay across her chest, barely caressing the edge of her chin. Sweetie Belle recognized her sister’s artistic hoofwork.
It should have been an image of peace and restfulness, but all Sweetie Belle saw was a ghastly farce. Death had removed everything that made her who she was, stripped away her lively essence, until all that remained was a cold body.
I’m dead.
Sweetie Belle sat in horror, unable to cry while her friends and family placed lilies inside the coffin one by one. Rarity tearfully kissed her little sister goodbye on the forehead. Her best friends, her sisters in bond, slowly put her crusader cape inside before kissing her on the cheek each.
“Girls...” whispered Sweetie Belle, wishing she could feel their warm love right now. But, like her corpse, she was stone cold. Twilight slowly closed the coffin before lowering it into the pit and filled it up. When the last of the dirt had fallen, only then did Sweetie Belle sink to the ground in tears. Her cries went unheard as everypony left one by one, leaving the freshly buried grave alone. She reached out in a futile attempt to catch them. “Don’t leave me! Please! I don’t want to be alone!”
Her pleas fell on deaf ears. They soon were gone, tiny specks in the distance, as Sweetie Belle cried into her forelegs. It was all over. Her life was gone. Death had finally taken her. And she was doomed to suffer for it.
Suddenly, Sweetie Belle felt the air grow even colder to the point where it made the arctic outside the Crystal Empire feel like Coltifornia. She raised her teary-eyed face to see that the sky had turned red like blood with black clouds covering the sky ominously. The ground suddenly began to shake as she rose to her hooves in terror. An explosion of fire and smoke erupted from her grave, knocking Sweetie Belle back as she moaned and rubbed her sore rump. The smoke covered her vision, but she could see something huge and monstrous slowly rising from the hole underground, a rattling of chains following it.
When it cleared Sweetie Belle screamed, knowing what it was that had risen. With its mouth dripping of maggots and snakes, Sweetie Belle saw the huge skeleton figure of Death itself once again. Its chains lingering in the air, poised for attack. Sweetie Belle could feel her bladder nearly fail her as she closed her eyes, waiting for Death to have its way with her.
It roared as loud as a dragon, and the chains snapped and lunged for Sweetie Belle… only to be pushed back by a sphere of blue energy
“Cease your attack, foul nightmare, or else you shall deal with me!”
The voice that cried out made Sweetie Belle open her eyes and look to the sky with hope. A laugh of joy escaped her lips as she saw Princess Luna, guardian of the night, descend from a portal in the sky and land with her body bent low and aggressive, ready for battle. Death roared once again, but Luna showed no fear as she spoke once more. “I will allow you to haunt her no longer! Be gone!”
With her horn glowing as bright as the full moon, Princess Luna’s eyes turned pure white, waves of light radiating outward. Sweetie Belle watched them engulf Death’s gruesome form, fracturing its bones and melting its chains bit by bit, until a final shockwave shattered the grim specter completely. A molten core of light washed over the landscape, and Sweetie Belle shut her eyes from the blinding intensity. Through the deafening silence that followed they remained closed. It was only after she felt a comforting wing wrap around her body that Sweetie Belle dared to open her eyes again.
She stood on the cemetery; rather she was on a large white disk of pure energy, surrounded by an endless darkness that held bright lights of many colors. At first she thought they were stars, but looking closer at a few of them, Sweetie Belle saw they were liquid spheres and that she could see blurry images of ponies and places.
“Are you well, Sweetie Belle?” asked Luna, looking down upon her with concern.
Sweetie Belle’s answer was a tackle into her chest and a soft sob. Luna held the little filly, nuzzling her head as she let Sweetie Belle cry all her emotions out. Only when she realized she was crying into one of her respective leaders, did she finally mutter, “I’m s-s-sorry...”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, child. It’s alright,” whispered Luna.
After what seemed like an eternity, Sweetie Belle dried her tears and slowly released her grip on the princess. Looking around at the mysterious environment she had found herself in, she asked, “Where are we?”
“This is known as the Dream Dimension,” answered Luna, looking above to some of the orbs glowing nearby. “You may say it is the path that connects us to all the dreams of our world. Very few ponies have ever mastered the magic of dream walking, but it has allowed me to help our subjects with their nightmares and fears for a long time.”
Sweetie Belle shuddered, “It felt so real though. I thought I was going to d-die.”
“I must admit, while I am not new to the concept of my subjects dreaming of their deaths, I have never seen such... vivid fears in one as young as you, Sweetie Belle,” confessed Luna with both awe and concern. She raised an eyebrow. “What has made you dream of such horrible nightmares?”
Sweetie Belle nervously turned away from Luna’s curious yet concerned gaze, unsure if her problems were worthy to be spoken in front of the princess. Then she remembered that Princess Luna had been around for a thousand years, maybe even more. She was one of the wisest beings on the planet, surely she had to know something of the questions that haunted her. Taking a deep breath, Sweetie Belle told Princess Luna everything, from Diamond Tiara’s death to her conversation with Mr. Waddle at the funeral home.
“... And when I got home I just couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I’m going to die some day! I’m going to end up like Diamond Tiara and I don’t want that! I want to live! What’s the point of living if all we’re gonna do is just die in the end?! What’s the point?!” screamed Sweetie Belle before collapsing on her haunches, gasping for breath. She had said so much so quickly that it felt like her throat was on fire.
A glass of water materialized in front of Sweetie Belle, as if Luna had sensed her thoughts. Taking it, she drank the glass before gasping out a sigh of relief when she was finished. Looking at Luna, she waited with anticipation while the princess closed her eyes in deep thought.
Opening them, she then said, “Oh, Sweetie Belle. What you ask are questions all sentient life has asked since it first was created. It is a mystery that you will not find an answer to, even from somepony like me.”
“W-what...” whispered Sweetie Belle, eyes widening. “B-but you’re Princess Luna! You're so old that you have to know, right?!”
“Alas, I do not know the truth of death and its purpose. Perhaps no being on this earth can,” answered Luna, who then nuzzled the shocked filly. “But this doesn’t mean I cannot help you find peace with your fears and guide you into understanding that death should not be the focus in your mind. Rather, it is life that should be.”
“Life? How can I worry about life when at any moment it can end just like it did for Diamond Tiara?” demanded Sweetie Belle, gritting her teeth. “She was my age and she’s gone. Never coming back. I hear ponies say she’s in a better place, but what better place could there be without her friends and family to guide her? And what if there is no better place? What if there is nothing that happens when we die?”
“Even if there is or isn’t, is there anything you can do about it?” asked Luna, raising an eyebrow. “You speak about death being so terrible, like it is something that has to be avoided. How do you avoid such a thing, Sweetie Belle, when no other being has been able to? It is a fate that we must all share in the end.”
Sweetie Belle glared at Princess Luna and her unchanging expression. The little filly couldn’t even believe that she heard that from an ageless alicorn of all things. “Oh yeah? Well, not all of us can be immortal princesses who will never die. It must be nice not having to worry about dying like the rest of us. You get to sleep and eat and be happy in a warm place while the rest of us rot in our cold graves!”
If Rarity or her parents were here, or any other pony to be honest, they would have been aghast to see Sweetie Belle yelling at one of the two rulers of the land. This dawned on Sweetie Belle just a little too late as she gulped and awaited her punishment. Fearfully, she looked at the spheres filled with red and black, where she could see glimpses of screaming ponies, monsters, and other nightmare-like proportions. I’m sure to be sent into one of those for the rest of the night!
To her surprise, Luna shook her head and looked at Sweetie Belle with a small smile. “Sweetie Belle, you believe I am immune to death, but you forget that when I said ‘it is a fate all of us must share,’ I also meant myself.”
Sweetie wasn’t sure how far her mouth could drop, but she was certain its limits were being tested. Luna continued, “Sweetie Belle, despite what you and others believe, my sister and I are not invincible. We are just as capable of dying as the rest of you. My sister and I have been through many battles since the day we became alicorns. There were times when both of us received wounds that would have proved fatal if not for luck.”
“Was it... was it scary?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Yes, Sweetie Belle. The prospect of facing my death was scary at times... but then there were times when I had begged for it.”
Sweetie Belle waited in deep silence as she saw a twitch or two from Luna’s stone cold face. How much had Luna seen in her thousand or so years of living? How much pain and suffering and death had she seen time after time again from those she called friends, family, and maybe even lovers? To see the mask she wore crack, no matter how faint the line, was an eye opener for the filly.
Sweetie Belle had a hunch of what specific event that Luna was talking about and decided to take a guess. “Are you talking about when you were up on the moon? For a thousand years?”
Luna only nodded, her voice growing colder as she replied, “You have no idea how it is, Sweetie Belle, to wake up in a cold, lonely place where there is no warmth, no love, and nopony to comfort you. I saw the world before my eyes, across the great void, and yet I could not interact with it. My sister, my friends, the ponies whom I loved and trusted I had betrayed, and I was helpless against my darker feelings, manifested into a monster. I spent every moment in that prison in regret, begging for an end to my suffering as I was helpless in my own body, a tool to be used by my inner wrath. Even after I was freed, I felt such sorrow knowing that everything had changed.
Such suffering moved Sweetie Belle’s heart that she slowly walked over and hugged the night princess. Luna wrapped a wing around the tiny filly, and they held each other in silence. Sweetie Belle then began to imagine herself in Luna’s horseshoes. If she had been banished for a thousand years to never see her family, her friends, and Ponyville ever again, it wouldn’t be much of a life. Would I even be unafraid of death...?
“How did you get over it?” asked Sweetie Belle, looking up at those ancient eyes.
This time Luna did smile and she nuzzled the filly, her eyes shining with hope and joy like the orbs that surrounded them. “I learned that while I have lost so much, I could regain what I once had and more. There is so much about this age that fascinates me. Ponies have achieved such wonders; there is always something new for me to learn, I have subjects that love me, friends whom I trust, and a new family. Besides my sister I have my niece, Shining Armor, Twilight and her friends. They are there for me, and have helped me slowly recover from my fears.”
“But they won’t be around forever! They’ll fade away!” pointed out Sweetie Belle.
“Yes, they will. Even I will fade away someday, Sweetie Belle, but that is the nature of change,” explained Luna, smiling. “Every day, something in the world is changing. Life goes on and finds new ways to evolve, just like we ponies have over the past thousand years. Seeing these changes, adapting to them, and living our lives with those changes that slowly change ourselves; this is what we do as living beings. Your world has changed with Diamond Tiara’s death, has it not? Change is not always pleasant. You will be hurt many times. Yet, there is always some good that comes out of it. You just need to find it.”
“How will I know when I find it?” asked Sweetie Belle, leaning forward.
“You will know,” said Luna, spreading her wings and walking towards the edge of the platform they were on. She studied the dream orbs for some time until she smiled and turned back towards Sweetie Belle. “Do you wish to enter a dream with me, Sweetie Belle? To find the answers you seek?”
Sweetie Belle nervously stepped in line with Princess Luna and looked at all the various orbs in different colors. Each one represented the individual dreams of ponies around the world, sleeping blissfully unaware that she and Luna could enter them at any time. She feared that another dream, similar to her own, awaited her, and yet she saw the dreams of those in orbs of bright colors, glowing like the sun at the start of the morning. Her inner crusader, seeking adventure, told her to go forward.
She nodded at Princess Luna and took her hoof as the two of them floated into the void, flying past the various orbs. Princess Luna was stern in her concentration as her horn glowed, like a beacon in the night, but before long they had arrived at their destination: a yellow orb, smaller than most, but it glowed just as bright.
Turning to Sweetie Belle, Princess Luna said, “All you must do, Sweetie Belle, is gently put your hoof on the orb and let me do the rest.”
“O-okay,” whispered Sweetie Belle as she lifted her shaking hoof. Slowly, her hoof lowered itself upon the orb just as she closed her eyes. It felt like she was dipping her leg into a pool of ice cold water, yet she could feel a sense of peace the moment she touched it. She turned to Luna, ready to learn her next task, when suddenly the orb grabbed her and began pulling her inside.
Before she had a chance to fight back, it had consumed her.
***
When the light had faded, Sweetie Belle found herself in a bright sunny field, with flowers of all kinds spread across the green grass. It was a much welcomed environment from the dark cemetery she had been in only minutes ago. She sniffed the air, surprised to that it smelled similar to the fields of Ponyville during the spring time. Princess Luna soon faded in beside her and urged her to follow.
In silence they walked, Sweetie Belle observing more of the nature-blessed dream they had found themselves in. Luna didn’t seem to take any care of the beautiful land. Rather, she focused on a clearing where Sweetie Belle could see some ponies up ahead. They were an earth pony family of four, the father holding a bat while the shorter of the two colts, who shared his father’s shade of brown fur and bright yellow mane, threw the ball as hard as he could. The baseball cracked against the bat and sailed overhead where the older brother was waiting.
Unlike the others, he seemed to take more after his mother, a light magenta mare with a darker purple mane. He looked to be a few years older than Sweetie Belle, his golden baseball mitt cutie mark shining in the sunlight. Strangely, he was bald. The back of the colt’s head was shaved so close to his coat there were barely any signs of a mane ever once existing. He leaped up and caught the ball, landing hard on his backside, but quickly got up and proudly showed his family the caught baseball.
“Who is he?” asked Sweetie Belle, nodding to the bigger colt as he tossed the ball to his younger brother.
“His name is Shoestring Catch,” answered Luna, smiling. “He dreams of becoming a real baseball star and playing in front of a crowd.” The smile on Luna’s face faded. “Sadly, he will never have that dream as he originally had hoped.”
Before Sweetie Belle could ask why, the mother called for her family to join her by the picnic table for lunch. Shoestring Catch told them he would be there in a minute and, to Sweetie’s surprise, started walking towards them. He stopped and bowed before them in greeting. “Nice to see you again, your majesty.”
“You can see us?!” stated Sweetie Belle, stepping back in surprise. Princess Luna and Shoestring Catch both laughed at Sweetie’s expense while the filly crossed her forelegs and huffed. “It’s not funny.”
“Sorry,” apologized Catch before stretching out his foreleg. “I’m Shoestring Catch, nice to meet you.”
The scowl on Sweetie's face soon disappeared and was replaced with a small smile as she hoof bumped it. “I’m Sweetie Belle, nice to meet you. How do you know Princess Luna?”
Catch bowed his head again before answering, “Princess Luna’s been a good friend while I’ve been sleeping in the hospital. It gets really lonely, so she comes by and keeps me company. We talk or play baseball, and she’s been a big help for me since... well... I got sick.”
“I’m so sorry,” said Sweetie Belle. “What are you sick with?”
The colt’s eyes slowly lost a bit of their dim as he sighed, looking at his dream family who was laughing and eating without him. Sweetie Belle watched a small tear drip down his cheek and pour into the grass below. Yet despite this, he still had a smile on his face. It was sad, a hint of pain behind it, but peaceful all the same.
“I have cancer,” he answered, taking the baseball and throwing it back into his mitt.
“C-cancer?” whispered Sweetie Belle, covering her mouth. “Is that why...”
“I look like I got into a fight with a pair of scissors and lost?” joked Catch, pointing to his bald head. “Yeah, but really that’s some of the better side effects of having this. The worst ones are the pain, feeling like you're gonna be sick a lot, and well... dying.”
“Y-you’re d-dying?” gasped Sweetie Belle. Standing before her was a future corpse. A future husk. He would become what Diamond Tiara was now: a shell to be buried, alone and in the dark. “I-I-I-I’m so sorry. This is terrible and... wait...”
Sweetie Belle looked around the dream in disbelief. This couldn’t have been right. Where were the dark clouds and the gloomy feeling? Everything in this dream was all sunshine and rainbows, and yet this boy freely admitted that he was dying. Sweetie Belle looked at his confused expression, wondering how he could be so calm knowing that death’s door was close. Even more confusing is why would Princess Luna think me meeting him would help me?
“Something wrong?” he asked, tilting his head.
“H… how? How are you so... easygoing about this? Aren’t you scared that you’re going to die?!” asked Sweetie Belle.
The colt looked at the mitt in his hoof and slowly nodded. “Yeah... it’s scary. When I first learned that I couldn’t be cured, just treated, and that my life was over in a few years... I never felt more scared in my life.” He bit his lip before sitting down. Shaking his head, he slowly took off the mitt and held it with both hooves, staring at it like it was a piece of lost treasure that was valuable only to him. Princess Luna walked over and wrapped a wing around his back for comfort, to which he gave her a small smile in return before turning back to Sweetie Belle. “I was angry... scared... like everything in my entire world had just come crashing down. I was upset because all my life I wanted to play baseball. Now I was never gonna be in the majors because I got an unlucky break.”
He turned to his family. “I was miserable. And I made sure everypony knew it. My family, my friends, all of them. I just pushed away, but that only ended up hurting them. It was bad enough that we all knew I only had so long to live, but my attitude wasn’t helping at all.” He turned back to Sweetie Belle and smiled. “Then one day, I looked at myself in the mirror and realized this wasn’t who I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be some angry young colt who was unhappy all the time. I wanted to be alive. So I smiled again. I played again, despite my doctors telling me to take it easy. I spent a lot of time on the bench, sometimes playing an inning or four. Sometimes none if it was a bad day. But I still played because I wanted to live. Playing was living to me, and I didn’t want to end my life wasting away.”
“But... you’re dying!” pointed out Sweetie Belle.
“So? There was nothing I could do to change it, but there was something I could do before it happened. I could live again and feel alive. It was better than worrying about it and thinking about it all time. I felt better, my family felt better, and I was making everything feel normal again,” said Shoestring Catch, as he leaned forward. “Let me ask you something, Sweetie Belle. If you were going to die tomorrow, and nothing could prevent it. What would you rather do? Spend as much fun as possible with your friends and family? Or sit in your room waiting to die, alone and afraid?”
“The former of course!” scoffed Sweetie Belle.
“Why is that?” asked Princess Luna, with a small smile.
“Because... because...” Sweetie Belle tried to think of an explanation why the first one sounded like the better choice. “Because I would be happier! If I sat around waiting like that I would... be miserable...”
And then it hit her. That’s what she was doing now. That’s what she had been doing since the moment she learned about Diamond Tiara’s death. She was acting like a pony that had taken the second route. And the worst of it was the fact that she wasn’t dying like Shoestring Catch or already dead like Diamond Tiara.
She was alive.
She was alive, healthy, and well. So why was she afraid? What did she have to fear?
Looking at this colt, this dying colt, who held a gentle smile and courage in the face of his inevitable death, Sweetie realized that if anypony had the right to feel scared and alone it would be him. But here he was, enjoying what remaining time he had left. He was fighting to still be “alive” in all sense of the word, not just for himself, but for his family.
And all I’ve done, a pony with no illness, is just weep in fear of death, thought Sweetie Belle, feeling a wave of guilt wash over her. Sweetie could remember how scared her sister was, and how she’d pushed Rarity away every time she tried to help. How much have I been scaring her?
Shoestring Catch tilted his head and asked, “Why are you worried about this? Are you...” His eyes widened. “...Are you dying as well?”
“What? No!” Sweetie Belle shook her head. “A... a classmate of mine died recently, and I just... just...”
Shoestring Catch took his hoof and lifted her chin up, looking at her with understanding in his eyes. “This was your first time with death, right?” Sweetie Belle nodded. “I see... Yeah, it’s scary the first time. Even scarier when you’re the one that’s going to die.” He turned to Princess Luna and winked at her. “But thanks to the princess here, I learned that it’s better to enjoy your life, however short, than live in misery and fear. That way, we can be happy and others we love can be happy. We may not be able to control how we die, but we can always control how we live.”
Slowly but surely, Sweetie Belle felt a smile decorate her face as she looked at the strong colt in front of her and realized that there was truth to what he said. Ever since she heard that Diamond Tiara died, all she had done was sob in fear; fear that she too would one day. And while the thought of dying was still scary in her mind, the idea of being alone and unhappy was even scarier. She had friends, family, and a cutie mark to find so she could know what she was destined to do in life. And was crying in her bed all the time going to solve that?
No... I need to live... thought Sweetie Belle. What’s the point of life if you don’t live it? I might as well be dead.
“I think we have come for what we needed,” interrupted Princess Luna as she rose off her haunches and nuzzled Shoestring Catch. “Thank you, Shoestring Catch. I will let you continue with your dream, uninterrupted.”
Shoestring Catch nodded and turned to Sweetie Belle. “It was nice meeting you. If I don’t see you again... I’ll see you in the next life.”
“S-same to you,” replied Sweetie Belle, nodding. Although she was smiling, she couldn’t help but cry inside as she watched Catch gallop back to his family. She wished that she had known him sooner, or at least could do something for him.
She turned to Princess Luna and asked, “Is there anything I can do?”
Luna smiled and wrapped a wing around her. “If you want, I’ll take you to see him in his dreams every so often. He’s a good colt and deserves good friends.”
Sweetie Belle nodded in thanks before she felt her body rising up in the air as everything around her turned white.
***
When Sweetie Belle could see again, she was floating in the Dream Dimension once more. Princess Luna, floating right next to her, asked, “Do you have the answers you seek?”
Nodding, Sweetie Belle smiled at the princess of the night and said, “I... I think so. I mean, a part of me is still sad and afraid but...” She closed her eyes and gave a toothy smile. “I think I’ll be alright now.”
Princess Luna smiled back before closing her eyes, horn glowing. “That is good to hear. Now it is time for you to head back, Sweetie Belle. “Know that if you ever need help, I am always with you in your dreams.”
Luna’s horn glowed and that was the last thing Sweetie Belle saw before the light returned once more.
***
Groaning, Sweetie Belle put a hoof over her head to cover the rays of sunlight coming from her window. With a loud yawn, she looked around and saw that she was in her room. A knock on the door preceded its opening and alerted her to her sister’s presence. The older unicorn stared back at Sweetie Belle with worry.
“Sweetie?” asked Rarity, biting her lip. “Are you feeling okay? Last night you didn’t come down for dinner and...”
Sweetie Belle didn’t answer at first, the last memories of her nightmare ebbing and mixing with her time in the Dream Dimension and her time with Shoestring Catch. She remembered what he told her. With a small smile, Sweetie Belle jumped off her bed and looked out the window to where life was continuing, and she was a part of it. It was still a world without Diamond Tiara, a world where death still lingered. But it was also a world where she was alive, and she had much to do.
Turning to her older sister, Sweetie Belle nodded, “I think... everything’s going to be okay.”
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4033406
Awwww
Nice chapter.
And sorry about your friend Colin
4033418
Thanks
.... yeeeup. Very...very glad I favorited this awhile back.
This was a very good read.
Well done!
4033419
No problem.
How did I forget to favorite this when I made an account?
...And this Sweetie Belle "Key" Chapter was somewhat depressing, yet at the same time cheerful. Not quite sure if that was what you were aiming at, but... It's always great!
Keep up the great work PonyStar-broski!
A writer writes from experience... Perhaps that's why this is so realistically tragic...
Hmm interesting take. Not sure if I like this chapter but your running into issues where if you don't want to introduce religion is difficult. Personally I am very glad that for myself I have knowledge of what comes next. Hurts to see people who don't have that peace.
4033443
I have mentioned religious beliefs a bit in this story, not too much since it's not a main focus.
I hope the next Apple Bloom chapter IS the epiphany chapter. I'm really scared for her. I really am! Also...
Correctional highlight. You should fix it.
As per usual, have a fave, a like, and a mustache for Spike. 
These are the magic words that Tingle created himself. Don't steal them!
That was an amazing chapter, thank you.
It will be interesting to compare it to "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils" in a few days.
Why the hell I didn't faved and liked this before!?
Changed
Welp.
I'm tearing up.
4033545
I agree. She's blaming herself too much.
Koloo-Limpah! *Sparkles.*
(Sorry, but I couldn't resist.)
You know Rated, you never stop to amaze me. Ever single time I think that I have got the rest of the story down you give me something new. But that's one of the reasons why I love your work so much.
Great joob as allways.
Also sorry about Colin, I hope that he is happy whatever he may be now.
This was a very powerful chapter. And it helped. Thank you.
4033406 I have to applaud your reasoning for doing so. Thankfully, you are one to be honest and polite about it, which places you well above many in this world.
Another excellent chapter, and I'm sorry to hear about your friend. If it makes you feel better at least you got to see him in his last few years. One of my newest friends in middle school died suddenly in the time between 7th and 8th grade, and he seemed perfectly healthy when school had let out for Summer. It's amazing how much can change in the span of a few days, or even a few months.
This was a very good chapter I'm glad that Sweetie Belle won't have nightmares about death anymore and it's nice to see Princess Luna in this chapter and I really like how Luna can take other ponies into someone else's dreams and it was a nice touch making an OC character based off your deceased childhood friend. I hope the scootaloo chapter will be as good as this seeing that the next chapter will talk about Cheerlie and Scootaloo's dad's past.
Amazing as usual. I felt my eyes start to sting a little bit there.
Sorry about your friend.
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If that does happen, please send me a link.
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Thank you
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Just to let you know that not all atheists are assholes, I'm sorry about your friend. I'm glad he got as much as he could out of this life.
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I never said they were. I'm friends with a bunch of atheists. Did I say that somewhere if so let me know so I can avoid any future problems.
4035000
Oh wait, now I see what you were saying. Thank you.
I had a feeling Sweetie Belle would be the easiest of the three to set to rights. Apple Bloom will be next when she realizes that she can't wish ponies dead and Scootaloo when she realizes that the loss of one diminishes us all be that one skunk or angel.
I'm so glad to see an update! This is such an emotional story. I just lost a friend, a fellow brony, two days ago to a stroke. I'm still a mess over it. This story helped a bit to get through it. Sometimes you gotta just live.
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I'm sorry for your loss
This story is emotional bombshell after emotional bombshell, isn't it? Well, I enjoy it. Keep up the good work.
Everytime I think my feels won't be attacked by the next chapter you somehow end up doing it, I salute you you magnificent bastard, I congratulate you for being someone that knows how to show emotions and not go for cheap comedy or randomness to fill your pages, keep being awesome.
Very well written chapter. You know you are not the first person I know to make a character based on someone who passed away. Angleraye who wrote a series of stories about the children of the character of Sailor Moon named Sailor Pluto's daughter Maggie after the stillborn daughter of friend to honor her memory.
You do your friend's memory honor by adding a spark of light from your memories of him to this piece. It shows that despite the fact he is gone from this world, he still continues on in those who knew him, people like you.
Good chapter too, excellent use of Luna and her dream walking, I've already liked and fave'd this but I'd do it again if I could.
Wow. You never cease to create deep-reaching stories. I can kinda tell that you've had some experience with the topic of death, as there are some things I've noticed in this story that can only have been written by someone who should theoretically be able to see Thestrals (I apologize in advance if you do not get the reference, or if you do, but I actually assumed too much). That will be helpful, as some of the best writers use their own personal experiences to help them write. Keeping this in mind, I know that I can look forward to the next chapter, once it comes out.
(Even though I might not look forward to the strong feels that I'll be likely to experience.) 
"Live your life to the fullest".
Another powerful chapter. I'm glad Sweetie's story is wrapped up. Not that it hasn't been extremely well written and engaging, but I still usually try to avoid thinking about this kind of stuff. Looking forward to the next Scootaloo chapter.
Also, I'm very sorry about your friend.
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Thanks. And Sweetie has one more chapter to go. The funeral of Diamond Tiara.
4035943 Oh, okay. Well then, looking forward to that as well.
Okay, so I have read this whole story today for the first time. Here's what I gotta say: Please please PLEASE don't have a long hiatus like you did between these last two chapters. This is an awesome story of astounding quality, grasping realities that few other fanfictions have. It's personally impacted me reading it, giving other perspectives on events in my own life.
4033406 But it is good that it makes you have feels, shows that it is well written :)
"Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter and sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away" - Steven Tyler, Aerosmith, Dream On
worrying about death makes as much sense as trying to hold back the tide. when your time has come, your time has come. it's not worth losing sleep over.
as in the quote above, live life to the fullest; nobody will ever know when the good lord will call us back.
Hmmm...I'll be honest.
I really really enjoyed this chapter. It was beautifully written and powerful. Sweetie Belle's arc here didn't resonate with me personally as much as Scootaloo's or Applebloom's, but I liked the resolution and Sweetie Belle coming to terms with the concept of death, as all children eventually must do. For a young child (well, filly) like Sweetie Belle, death can be a huge thing to wrap one's head around. And of course, I enjoyed Luna's part in all this.
My view of death is generally one of acceptance. Which, I suppose is a healthy view. I believe in an afterlife for both animals and humans, so that may have something do do with it. Although I think my greatest fear of death isn't so much ceasing to be as it would be the thought that I'd be forgotten in the minds of my loved ones. I want to be remembered for having left my mark on others, (hopefully in a positive manner) most of all. Maybe that's a little selfish.
I look forward to the penultimate chapters for the other two CMCs.
I'm sorry about your friend. At least he lived the rest of his life happily.
I don't think I mentioned it, but I kind of wish that Scootaloo could stay somewhat apathetic towards Diamond's death, just to have a different perspective. She doesn't hate her entirely, but she can't forgive her for what she put her through.
I don't know how you feel about your friend. Although I do understand. I had a friend who had cancer. She was the strongest person I know. She died at the age of 10. This is an amazing chapter and I think it brought an epiphany to me. I fear death as well and I know to live life to the fullest. Thank you.
very good chapter. extremely believable, i am sorry for your friend.
i think my first death experience was my Nana it made me very sad but i cant remember if i ever feared death. i believe in Jesus Christ and that i will go to heaven after dying so i don't really fear it.
I'm assuming that Shoe string is based on this guy?
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121006083901/mlp/images/thumb/3/3d/Rainbow_Dash_caught_by_patient_S2E16.png/640px-Rainbow_Dash_caught_by_patient_S2E16.png \
I wondered if more of this story was based on personal experience. I hope writing it, as well as the fandom's feedback, was therapeutic to you.
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No he is based on a friend of mine until cancer took him
4039597 That would be understandable, as Scootaloo does have a point. Just because Diamond Tiara is dead and had a tramuatic life doesn't mean we should feel completly sympathetic to her. Yes, even someone like her didn't deserve to die young, but she had many opportunities to make things right that she never took. Let's not forget that she esentially called Scootaloo worthless because she couldn't fly. No matter how you look at it, that sort of behavior crossed the line, especially since she never apologized for it.
Man, I'm really sorry about your buddy. He must've been a good kid.
Poor Sweetie Belle... It's almost as if she were with the Ghost of Christmas Future, seeing Bob Cratchit and family weep for Tiny Tim.
I never thought I'd see Princess Luna help save Sweetie Belle from her nightmares and make her understand through Shoestring Catch.
Luna wishing to die, all because of what she had done as Nightmare Moon... That's pretty powerful. I imagine Sunset Shimmer would wish the same thing, before realizing that she has friends that can help her.
Aw... Sweetie Belle's gonna be okay!
If I wanted to live forever, I wouldn't want to be like Mr. Freeze:
Or Count Dracula:
Or the Sith Emperor:
With only the fear of death, life becomes existence. That's why living is so important. An excellent chapter.
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Congratulation! YOUR THE 1000 COMMENTER!
Luna is awesome.
I just love this story. I really like Shoestring Catch. It's hard to create a good oc that blends in flawlessly with a story, but you did it perfectly.