The party had moved outside of the manor into a large clearing where there were no tree branches that could possibly get in the way of the view. Everypony had settled down in their groups, laying back to get the best possible view of the show. Everypony, that is, except for Card.
Card was jittering about, pacing back and forth next to Trixie and Twilight, who had managed to ask Celestia to let her sit alone with her friends, a request the Princess was all to happy to grant.
“I can’t believe you set up a fireworks show!” Twilight said. “How did you pull that off?”
“I didn’t, Tron, Odd, and Brick did,” Card said, still pacing as he cast his gaze around.
“What are you so nervous about?” Trixie asked.
“Nothing.”
“It’s not nothing, I’ve never seen you like this.”
“C’mon Card, just settle down and watch the show,” Twilight said. “When did you say it would be starting?”
“11:59,” Card said. He stopped moving and sat down next to his friends. However, even though he had stopped pacing, his limbs were still twitchy. Before either of his friends could question him, the show started, distracting them with the pretty lights and loud noises of the fireworks. They were so held by the display that they didn’t notice Card getting up.
Card set his shoulders, and focused his eyes. He began to walk towards his destination when suddenly, everything stopped.
The fireworks froze in place, the grass he was stepping on stopped bending beneath his hooves, the ponies who were in the clearing with him suddenly froze in all their activity. Even Card, though he was aware of the sudden freeze, found himself unable to move as the time-locked air refused to give way to his limbs.
Despite this sudden, jarring stoppage, he did not panic. After all, there was only one being who was so busy that the only way he could find the time to wish his son a happy New Year’s was by making the whole thing stop.
“Hello son!” Solaris said as he emerged from his teleport, a faint glow covering his body as the air molecules that were blocking his path were sent into subspace until they reappeared when he got out of the space they were trying to occupy.
Card moved his eyes to look at him.
“Oh right.” Solaris’s horn lit up briefly as he teleported all of the air molecules that were constraining Card away.
“Could you have maybe chosen a better time?” Card asked, his gaze flitting over to his destination.
“Sorry, you know how busy it gets at year’s end. Happy New Year’s!” said the King.
Card let out a sigh, shaking his head as he walked over to embrace his father. “Happy New Year’s. Although, you’re off by about 40 seconds.”
Solaris waved it off. “In some parts of this kingdom it’s been 2534 for a couple hours now,” he sat down on the unbending grass and faced the frozen fireworks, motioning for his son to take a seat next to him.
“So, how you feeling?”
Card thought this over for a little. “Right now? A little nervous honestly.”
“Oh? Anything you feel like telling me about?”
“Not really. Personal.”
Solaris made a sound of acknowledgment. The pair gazed at the hanging lights as they contemplated what to say.
“Just think, it's only a few more hours before you’re going to have to start-”
“Ahhdadadatatata,” Card covered his ears. “I don’t want to think about it.”
Solaris chuckled. “You think you’ll be staying here?” he said with jerk in the direction of the manor.
“Yeah,” Card looked at Twilight and Trixie, with their look of awe still frozen in place. “I like it here.”
“Really?” Solaris’s voice took on a hint of concern. “You’re sure it’s not too much?”
“Yes!” Card playfully glared at his dad. “It was a little rough for the first few weeks but I got used to it pretty quickly.”
“Glad to hear you’ve been having fun,” Solaris cast his gaze over the group of ponies. “Wait, what’s Tia doing here?”
“I think she just got bored at the castle or something.”
“Yeah, that sounds like her alright.”
“Has she always been that impulsive?”
“Oh, you do not have the right to call people impulsive. Remind me again what happened at the museum?”
“Point taken. Still though?”
Solaris sighed wistfully as he gazed at the eldest of his younger siblings. “Worse actually. She used to be a real airhead.”
“Really?”
“Oh yes, completely. One time she was trying to change the color of a tree, but she was even worse at magic then than she is now if you can believe that, and she ended up turning it into stone.”
“That’s not so bad.”
“And then, because she was so convinced that her spell had worked because the tree was now gray, she went on trying it out on every tree on the palace grounds. When I found her she was close to tears in frustration because she couldn’t understand why her spell could only make the trees turn that one color, and she had petrified over three-quarters of the arboretum.”
“Wow. How did you get her to stop?”
“I got Noc-Noc to cast an illusion over the trees so that it looked like they were changing to the color she wanted, and eventually she got bored and left. I punished her later by making her do Noc-Noc’s chores for a year.”
“You didn’t have her fix the trees?”
Solaris shuddered. “Can you imagine what Celestia could have done to those trees if she tried to fix them? No, I got a friend of mine to take care of that.”
Card chuckled. All of his nervousness had left his body by this point, a fact that his father took notice of.
“Well, I’ve got to get back to work,” Solaris said as he started teleporting back in all of the air he had removed to allow Card to move around. “Enjoy the last few hours of your vacation,” Solaris hugged his son goodbye and teleported out, canceling the spell.
The fireworks started crackling again, and the grass gave way. Card took a deep breath and remembered his objective. He headed over to the edge of the clearing, where Pinkie Pie was sitting alone watching the fireworks with a teeth-baring grin on her face. He sat down next to the pink mare with a mumble of greeting as the fireworks began counting down, a great booming voice accompanying the numbers that appeared in the sky.
Ten!
Pinkie Pie looked over to Card, her grin softening into a more genuine smile as she lingered on him before her attention went back to the fireworks.
Nine!
Card smiled back, his mind suddenly racing.
Eight!
Should I? Shouldn’t I? You two shut up!
Seven!
His gaze darted around the field, as he took another deep, unnecessary, breath to calm down.
Six!
He started fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket.
Five!
He reached in and took out a coin.
Four!
Heads I do, Tails I don’t.
Three!
He shut his sense off as best he could from those particular possibilities and tossed it up into the air.
Two!
He was so focused on not focusing on the coin that he didn’t notice Pinkie Pie turning his way until she grabbed him by his lapel.
One!
Pinkie pulled his head closer to her, pressing her lips firmly against his.
Happy New Years!
Cherries. Interesting. Card then stopped thinking and focused on returning the kiss he was enjoying so much.
Tails.
Great job on the story. I read this story first on fanfiction.com, but I lost track of it because I couldn't follow it. Oh what joy I had when I found the story here! It is remarkable that you were able to blend this story in with the actual show in such a way that Card could be removed from the story and it would be just like the real show. A definite upvote for you!
vacation? so he goes back to doing what exactly i know that will be said in the next volume probably i just wanted to type it down
Called it. I called it. That Card and Pinkie would fall in love. Great job. Awesome. Just Brilliant.
As promised, I am updating my older comment from Chapter #36.
WARNING: LONG COMMENT AHEAD.
I've only got one complaint. You seem to have a few typos here and there, and in a few cases there appear to be words missing or homophones used. I'd give examples, but I'm being lazy right now, plus I'm tiiirrred.
Actually, I have another. That THIS STORY IS OVER.
If you want I can proofread your stories for you; I need something to do with my spare time.
That offer also extends to your other works, not just this one.
Note, however, that I said proofreader. I'll give non-grammar/spelling advice if asked, but I try to stay away from that kind of thing. I'm pretty bad at it.On second thought, I will provide plot-related advice for things like continuity issues or unclear sentences. I won't question your choices for the plot, and I'll try to stick to proofreading in terms of corrections. I'll just point out non-grammar/spelling errors.Comments, in (approximate) story order:
I've crossed out (using strike-through) the ones which were resolved and added an explanation.
Well, massive star bear, we meet again.
Odd how, despite N and Aoc not being there, Card can argue with himself. And kinda awkward.Apparently, they WERE there, but just didn't tell the author what they said.Stupid manticores, hunting outside of their territory. Poisoning Rainbow Dash. Making her hate Card less. Wait, not that bad after all...
"Donuts, go nuts"? Whaaa?
I love the way that you used an interview-style format without the names of the people. It is quite interesting to imagine the other side of the "conversation".
The double twist about Solaris being King and Card being Crown Prince was brilliantly executed. Well done. What the hay was that orb, by the way? Is it just one of those things about Card?
Great job introducing Card's friends. I especially enjoyed how you introduced Polar Neutron, though his first appearance outside of a mirror was better IMHO. Tron's thoughts compared to Twinkly's - erm, Twilight's - is a wonderful juxtaposition.
I like Guile, he reminds me of myself in many ways.
It's not 51.4 degrees, it's 51.428571 repeating, period 6. Not sorry in the slightest.
When Odd's healing thing is shown, how does it happen? I'm confused.
For the scene where Tron becomes Twi's tutor, it seems like EVERYONE wants Twilight to get with Tron. Even Celestia.
Speaking of shipping, Applejack with Odd? Though I like how his name is Audacity and the first thing he says to AJ is "Dear giants, you’re gorgeous." I have to admit, he ain't entirely wrong.
Ooh, so I count at least three ships as of "The End o- Oh, You Get The Point": Polar Neutron/Twilight Sparkle, Card with Pinkie Pie and Audacity with Applejack. Any more that I missed like the oblivious fool that I am? Excluding the ones in the canon show, that is.
What, exactly, happened at the museum? Is this just a reference that will never be explained?? AAAARRG!!11!!one!!1!!
Wait, Card was being indecisive? Then again, not surprised that Pinkie decided for him.
Looks like they're gonna mess up that mattress again!
Some random questions:
Why is Pinkie immune to the white powder? Why do we HAVE to fall back on the old-fashioned ways?
Do we meet Card's mom ever? That would be interesting.
When are you planning to release the next story in this universe? I can't wait!
Overall, great job sticking as much as possible to canon. I quite like the original story arcs though, I'd love to see more of those. Maybe something about Card talking with the Changelings? That would play out oddly...
I like the text in the book on the cover image. Can we get the full text? Pleeeeaaaase?
You darn well better keep writing these. I expect to see new releases until MLP:FiM is no longer produced. And then some. OK?
Great song choice, though links would be nice instead of forcing readers to take a break from reading to look up the songs.
Another bugbear: sometimes you use the author's note bubble, other times you write it into the bottom of the text, and at least once you did both.
A last bugbear: In titles, typically, article ('a', 'an', and 'the') are not capitalized unless they would be capitalized in normal, non-title text under the same circumstances (First word, word immediately after a colon or full stop, etc.).
I can't wait to read more.
I've gone through it and tried to fix all the typos I found, but no guarantee that I caught all of them. I doubtlessly made many on my iPod while originally writing this.
If you notice a distinct change in tone throughout this, it's likely because I wrote the newer section while happier. Not entirely sure why, but I will not complain.
I'm probably gonna add more as time goes by and I reread this at not-2AM, but for now this will do.
3830822
OK... For this, I use double hyphens instead of en dashes because I can't be bothered to figure out how to insert an en dash here. Sorry.
Right. TBH this made me a little bit angry because I'm editing for him and I feel stupid for missing these, but then I realized that I'm on like chapter 8 and most of these are after that. I have been fixing most of his stupid punctuation and bugging him about the whole exclamation point thing. Though the point of the lack of spaces when Pinkie was excited was to show how quickly she spoke; then again, I suppose a metaphor comparing her speech to Niagara Falls could work as well.
About the "switching to first person" issue you mentioned, he explains it by saying that N and Aoc are taking sick days or some such, so he had to come to the ponies in dreams. That's in one of the author's notes, IIRC.
About the ellipses, the sentence "Twilight opened her eyes.. " wasn't meant to have an ellipses. That was a typo.
Are you sure you've read and understood the whole story? Even the interludes? Because it's explained that the scene break guy (the announcer) is actually a character. Apparently, a f-- Actually, that might be a spoiler. I shouldn't say it.
As for the story issues, if Leo hasn't read this when I next talk to him, I'll yell at him about these. Hopefully the next update ought to fix a bunch of your issues.
Let me know if I missed anything too major; I tried to read most of your comment but since I had to scroll up and down I very well could have.
werewolf
Ok know I’m worried, for the characters.