> The Stallion in the Library
>  by leonidas701
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> A Stranger Comes to Town
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        *Knock Knock Knock*

        "Hey Twilight, open up."

        "mmmh... five more minutes Princess, then I'll go to sleep..."

        *BANG BANG BANG*

        "Seriously Twi, wake up. I really need your help."

        *Yawnnnn* "Okay, okay, I'm up Spike, what do you need help with? Did a bookshelf fall down on you again?"

        Twilight opened her eyes.

        Uhhggg. Why are my legs so stiff? she thought. She took a look at where she was sitting. I really need to stop falling asleep at my desk. Maybe I should try reading in bed. Twilight raised a hoof up to her forehead and rubbed the bump on it, scowling at the reminder of why she doesn’t do that. Stupid levitation spell. I wonder what Spike needs now? I swear if he’s gotten his tail stuck under another fallen bookshelf I will- Wait, if he’s banging on my door then he can’t be trapped. Twilight started to get excited at the thought of something, anything, happening to break up the monotony that the past couple of weeks had been.

        Twilight lept out of her chair.

        Twilight tried to run to the door.

        Twilight fell flat on her face.

        Oh right, now I remember why Celestia makes me have a bed. 

        After she had picked herself up off the ground and opened up her bedroom door, her assistant, a young dragon named Spike, grabbed her by the hoof and started pulling her down the stairs, hurriedly explaining what was happening while he did so.

        "There's this pony downstairs who just barged in 10 minutes ago, pulled several books out of the shelves, and just threw them down on the nearest table and started reading them," Spike said, "He won't leave and so I need you to tell him off."

        "What?!" exclaimed Twilight, "How dare he." She had spent the better part of a week getting all the shelves straightened up and organized properly! She galloped down the rest of the way and when she got to the ground floor, she saw that the tiny table she had in the main room had a pony sitting at it. It was an earth pony stallion, with a red mane, that had blue tips. His coat was as orange as the flames in her fireplace, at least as far as she could tell. Her view was hampered somewhat by his large, brown, jacket.

        "Excuse me," said Twilight as she walked over to her table, "Who are you?"

        "Isn't it polite to give your name before inquiring about others?" said the stallion.

        "Fair enough, my name is Twilight Sparkle. Now then, what are you doing here?"

        "I'm reading."

        "Why are you reading here, this is my house?" Twilight asked.

        "I thought that this was a public library, and the door was unlocked.”

        That door has a lock?, thought Twilight. 

        "If I somehow got the directions wrong, then can you please point me in the direction of the real library." the stallion finally moved his eyes up from his book and looked at Twilight with a bored, yet polite, half-smile.

        "No, no," Twilight said hurriedly, " You're in the right place, it's just that you’re the first pony to come here since I was sent here, and I guess that I had... Well..."

        "You had what?"

        "I forgot that this place was a public library, I guess I just started to think of it as home after a while," she said sheepishly.

        "Really?" the stallion asked.

        "Well, this place was only recently re-opened, and I guess most of the townsfolk still think of it as just an empty space."

        "Huh. Must be lonely.”

        "Well no, there's also Sp- Spike?" Twilight looked around the room, noticing that her dragon was nowhere to be found.

        "Spspike?" the stallion asked, “What kind of a na-"

        "YAH!" yelled said dragon as he jumped at the stallion from behind. Spike was holding a large fishing net and as he leapt, he swung the net down, hoping to capture the intruder.

        "Spike!" Twilight said as she tried to lower her heartbeat, "What are you doing?"

        "Don't worry Twilight, I've got the intruder right he- Huh?" Spike said as he looked down at his empty net. "Where did he go?"

        "I'm right here," said the stallion. He was standing a few feet to the side of where he was sitting.

        “Oh my Celestia," said Twilight “I am so, so sorry. Spike, you apologize to him right now!"

        Spike, trying to cover up his blunder, said “Twilight who knows why he’s here? Bet he came in to try and steal our stuff."

        "Spike, don't be rude, he's just visiting the library." At the end of her scolding Twilight turned to the visitor and said "I'm sorry sir, he's a little hyperactive sometimes."

        "Huh?” The stallion asked, “Oh yeah. Don’t worry about it.”

        "Well," said Twilight, while wondering how he could be so nonchalant after a dragon, albeit a baby one, had tried to capture him, "I hope that he hasn't dissuaded you from visiting the library more often. Here, let me go set you up with a library card." 

        As Twilight walked off to do just that she realized that she had no idea how to make a library card for someone. As she prepared to tell the stranger the bad news, an idea struck her. She went back into the main room, and asked for the mysterious stranger to come with her. She then went up to her room, found her old note cards, and, using an old magic spell she was taught by Celestia, imprinted his image onto the card.

        "There," she said, "Any books you want to check out just tell me and I'll write them on the back of this card for you."

        "Cool," said the stallion, "I guess I'll check out all of those books I was reading just now." 

        "Oh, you're leaving already?" Twilight said, with a strange feeling of disappointment as she started to check out his books for him.

        "Yeah, it's getting to be about lunchtime. Hey look, I'm pretty new here, and I don't feel like cooking my own food. I don't suppose that you could point me to a good restaurant in this town, could you?" 

        "Ummmm, yeah there's one good one that I know of. I'm fairly new to this town myself, you see."

        "Oh really?"

        "Uh-huh. Just moved in two weeks ago actually."

        "Huh. Now about that restaurant."

        "Oh well you see, I don't really know the address."

        "Oh, that's a shame."

        "We- well, maybe I could show you where it is?" Twilight said uncertainly while thinking, Maybe I could try to make a friend without almost being killed by angry goddess.

        "Thanks!" the stallion said with a grin.

        "Yeah, just let me finish checking these books out for you," Twilight said while calling for Spike to come and write out the book titles on the card.




-----Five Minutes Later-----




        "Okay that's: Who Goes There, Jokers Wild, Orca, Artemis Foal and the Atlantis Complex, and finally The Art of War. Is that all of them?" Twilight said.

        "Mm-hm!" exclaimed that stallion after waving his sleeve over the books. 

        “Wait don’t you want to grab your books,” Twilight said as she reached under the table to get a bag for him.

        “Hungry now!” He then grabbed Twilight by the hoof and ran out the door so fast that her legs were all but swept out from under her.

        Damnit that's the same hoof Spike grabbed me by, I think that leg is almost out of its socket by now. Wait, aren't I supposed to be showing him where to go? She almost looked back to tell Spike to watch the library but then decided there would be no point, because really, what were the chances of two ponies coming to the library on the same day after none had come for weeks. Shame that she didn’t though, because if she had she probably would have noticed the conspicuous lack of a stack of books.
> Introductions of a sort
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        After Twilight had gotten her legs back underneath her, she informed the stallion that he was going the wrong way. He then promptly stopped, let go of her hoof, and turned around so fast that she had to slam her back hooves into the ground so hard that she made grooves in the road in order to stop herself from crashing into him. She then turned them onto the correct path, or at least what she thought was the correct path, and they were now heading merrily on their way to the restaurant. Along the way they struck up a conversation about their favorite books.

        "I like to read biographies of famous ponies. It enthralls me to be walked through their lives, to see all these historical figures as just normal ponies. It's almost surreal," said Twilight. "What type of book do you like?"

        "Well," said the firey stallion, "I honestly enjoy all manner of stories, even childrens books. though I would have to say that my favorite genre by far is science fiction, or speculative fiction as a whole. It amazes me what so many different people think of the outcome that our species is heading towards, from crushing tyranny to paradise. All the possibilities boggle the mind, don't you think."

        "Well I couldn't really say, I honestly never read very much science fiction.”

        "WHAT!!!" yelled out the stallion, "Really?"

        "Really," said Twilight, "Never interested me all that much"

        "Oh you have no idea what you’re missing. Tell you what next time I head to the library I will bring some books that I think you should read, ok?”

        "Ok," responded Twilight, slightly taken aback by his passionate display.

        "Great! Now then, where’s this restaurant you were talking about?"

        "Well it should be-" Twilight suddenly stopped and took her first good look around in 10 minutes. "Not here. Where are we?"

        "Are you saying we're lost?"

        "No... well okay kinda."

        "Oh well, I remember-" At this the stallion got a strange look on his face and stopped talking.

        "Uh, remember what." The stallion shook his head and then said.

        "I remember all the turns you took to g- DODGE!!!"

        "Wha-" was all that Twilight could say before being lifted up onto his back and being moved at what felt like a hundred miles per hour. Good thing too because right afterwards, there was a loud *THUMP* and an oddly shaped hole right where they were standing.

        Out of the hole came a faint "Owwwww."

        After dropping the shocked Twilight, the stallion rushed over to the hole and said, "Hey can you tell us where to find... umm...," He turned towards Twilight, "What was the name of the restaurant that we were heading to?"

        "SugarCube Corner."

        "Thanks. Can you tell us how to get to SugarCube Corner?"

        A figure climbed out of the hole. "I know that voice," it said.

        It looked around. "Twilight! I haven't seen you since the party last week, where have you been?"

        "Oh hi Rainbow. I've been in the library. Where is this place?" asked Twilight.

        "This is my training grounds."

        "Oh. Well, that explains all the holes in the ground. Anyway, wouldn't that be training skies?" said the stallion.

        "Twilight, you never told me you had a coltfriend." said Rainbow Dash, ignoring the stallion.

        "Wha- he's not my-" sputtered Twilight

        "Oh, first date then?" While Twilight’s tongue continued to attempt to tie itself into knots, the stallion decided to speak up.

        "Oh no, it's not a date. You see, Twinkly here was nice enough to offer to show me where a decent restaurant was, but due to my going in the wrong direction, we seem to be lost. So back to my original question, do you know where SugarCube Corner is?"

        "Uh yeah, it's just past the town hall. Here let me show you." Rainbow Dash pulled a map out from one of her saddlebags. "We're here, and S.C.C. is right here. Now tell me how did you get little Twi to come out o-" Rainbow Dash looked up from her map and saw the stallion dragging off Twilight who was still doing her best impression of a motor trying to start. The stallion called out over his shoulder.

        "Okay, thanks, bye, see you around Rainy."

        "Jerk. Who just ignores the best flyer in Equestria like that. Really," muttered Rainbow Dash while she was getting prepped to attempt the trick again. When she was in the sky however she got distracted by a stray thought and nearly fell down again. Wait, did he just call me... Rainy!?




-----Seamless Transition-----




        “So that Rainy mare was one of your friends?”

        “Yeah. She helped me def-” Twilight halted for a moment here, not wanting to chase her potential friend away by telling him that she was a Bearer of Harmony, “Out of a tight spot a while ago.”

        “Oh really. Huh,” the stallion shrugged his shoulders and kept walking, “So if Rainy’s map was right then the restaurant should be just around the next corner.”

        “Ah, here it is,” said Twilight. “ SugarCube Corner.”

        “Finally, I can get some food.” the stallion opened up the door, “Mares first.”

        “Thank you.”

        “So do we go up to the counter and order or just si-”

        *HHHAAAAHHHH*

        “Oh please god no,” prayed the stallion as he put his head in his hooves, “Anyone but her.”

“OHMYCELESTIAITSYOUMRSTRANGERIDIDNTGETYOURNAMEBEFOREORYOURADDRESSSOICOULDNTTHROWYOUAWELCOMINGPARTYWHENISAWYOUBUTYOUWERENICEENOUGHTOCOMEFINDMENOWICANTHROWYOUABIGPARTYWITHSTREAMERSANDCAKEANDBALLOONSANDCAKEANDCONFETTIANDCAKEAN-” the hyperactive mare took a breath and the stallion seized the opportunity.

        “WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP YOU HYPERACTIVE FUCKWIT!” At this the hyperactive mare got a shocked look on her face and ran up the stairs. The entire restaurant went quiet.

        “Thank you,” said the stallion then with a emotional drift speed that would impress Takumi Fujiwara he turned back to a stunned Twilight. “Now back to what I was saying, do we go up to the counter to order, or just sit down and wait to be served.”

        “W- we just sit down.” Twilight said

        “Ok then let’s see they have on the menu. Hayburgers, Prench Fries, hey, why is the dessert section 3 pages long and the meal part only-”

        “Uh. Excuse me.”

        “Yeah.”

        “What the Tartarus was that?” Twilight said, barely keeping control over herself.

        “What was what?”

        “Don’t you what me! what was that outburst just now that you threw at Pinkie Pie. You look like you seriously hurt her feelings.”

        “So her name is... Pinkie Pie,” the stallion said with a scrunched up face.

        “Yes and you should go up there and apologize for what you ju-”

        The stallion erupted into laughter, barely staying in his chair. This not only interrupted Twilight but it derailed her train of thought.

        After a while however the glow receded and the stallion stopped laughing so outrageously, so he was able to say, “Ok, the reason why I just exploded at *teehee* Pinkie Pie is because I have tried literally everything else to get her to leave me alone.”

        “So, you’ve met before?” asked Twilight.

        “Yeah, almost everytime I came into Ponyville she would pop up and do, well, basically what you just saw her do. I have tried everything to get her to leave me alone. I’ve tried asking, I’ve tried begging, I’ve tried bribes, I’ve tried threats, this is the first time I’ve gotten her to leave me alone without having to lose her in the crowd. Wherever I could find one at least, stupid under-crowded suburbia. I shudder to imagine what might have happened if she found out where I lived. Yeesh.”

        “That’s still no excuse for causing a scene in a public place. Especially not in her house. you were seriously out of line,” said Twilight while trying to mimic the tone that Celestia would use with her when she got into trouble.

        “Yeah, I know. I just- I just really really hate ponies like her. *sigh* Look, next time i come into town I’ll swing by this place and apologize to her. Ok?”

        “Yeah, ok,” Twilight said while she made a mental note to ask what he meant by ‘Ponies like Pinkie Pie.’ (Frankly the thought of there being more then one of her made Twilight shiver.) “So what are you getting?” After they had finished eating their food, the Stallion said that he had to get going.

        “What, already? You haven’t even had dessert yet,” said Twilight.



        The check came, and the instant it hit the table the stallion picked it up. “I’ll pay.”

        “No no, I can pay,” said Twilight, gearing up for one of the arguments she always had with her brother about paying for their food, but then she was surprised.

        “Ok, we can split the check if you want,” said the stallion.

        “Oh... Ok,” said Twilight shocked and slightly disappointed that the argument she was gearing up for wouldn’t come.

        “I can walk you home if you like.”

        “Ok sure.” 
        The trip back to the house was filled with a conversation about one of the few books they had both read, Harvest Moon.

        “Look all I’m saying is that there’s no way it could have done that if it were purple!”

        “...Maybe. Oh hey look we’re back.”

        “Cool. I’ll swing by in a week or so to return the books and to bring you mine.”

        “And...?”

        *sigh* “And to apologize to Pie”

        “Good. So long... uh-” said Twilight, slightly confused.

        “What’s wrong?” asked the stallion, a curious look on his face.

        “Well,” Twilight said, blushing “I just realized that you never told me your name.”

        “Oh,” said the stallion. “I thought I was forgetting something. Well, you can call me Card.”

        “Ok, so long Card. Good night,” said Twilight.

        “Yeah you too,” Card said over his shoulder as he headed out. Twilight walked into her tree, said good night to Spike, who was standing just behind the door holding another net- “Just in case the thief comes back!”- and went to her bedroom.

        Well today was a lot of fun, she thought. Made a friend and I didn’t even have to get almost killed this time. Well maybe if you count that part with Rainbow Dash. How did he move so fast anyway? Speaking of today's weirdness, where could he possibly live that Pinkie wasn’t able to find him? And also how did he get his books? He never picked them up, I certainly never saw him carrying them around today. Ah, well maybe I *Yawn*   I.. I should ask him wh- “*Snore*” was as far as she got before sleep overtook her.

> Not So Different
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	*Slam* went the door as Twilight closed the door to the library. 

        "What was that about?" Spike asked Twilight as he put down his tail, having grabbed it to avoid being caught in the door.

        "It- it's nothing Spike." Twilight said as she looked away. "I'm going to go to my room, it's been a long morning. Why don't you go help out Rarity."

        Spike was a bit hesitant to leave his friend, but his mind was quickly filled up with fantasies of Rarity praising him for helping her, and being so attentive, and then she would offer to reward him for his hard work and- "Ok, thanks Twilight. See you soon."

        "Yeah, bye." As soon as Spike was out the door Twilight went up to her room, flopped onto the bed and started crying into her pillow. It's all still the same, I can't believe I ever thought it would be different. As Twilight lay there, drowning her pillow and drenching her sheets she decided that no, she would not deal with this again. She got up out of her bed, went to her desk and started writing. Dear Princess, I am sorry but I can't stay here in Ponyv 

        Suddenly there came a knock at the door. She put the unfinished letter into her drawer and, barely holding herself together, went down the stairs. Bet that's Spike. Thought Rarity would keep him distracted for longer then. She looked over at a clock. 15 minutes. How am I gonna tell him that we need to leave? She got to the front door and opened it, preparing for an exuberant Spike to tell her all about how Rarity dropped her needle and thanked him for picking it up. What she found instead was Card, who said,

        "Hey I finished up all those books and came to return them. I even brought some Sci-Fi from my personal collection." He said as he walked into the tree. A likely story. I bet he's here for the tickets too."Have you ever heard of a book called Dragon's Egg." He turned around, looked at Twilight, opened his mouth-

        Here we go, he'll start talking about all these great book, then probably mention their author who, shock of all shocks, happens to be going to the gala, and can he please go t- But then he said something strange. Something that noone, not her parents, not Shining, not Celestia, had ever said to her. At least not without her leading them into it. Card took one good look at her and then said,

        "Twinkly, what's wrong?" With a look of concern on his face.

        At this Twilight lost it, she broke down into tears where she was standing. Card, after taking off his jacket, went over and held her, whispering comfort into her ear. Twilight couldn't take it, she had to let it out, she told him everything. Told him about being the personal student of Celestia, and how that affected her social life. About how ponies would try to get close to her just to get the ear of the princess, how foals would only pretend to be her friend so that they could get all the cool stuff she had in the palace and then leave her as soon as they had gotten what they wanted. She told him about putting on a brave face so as not to worry Celestia, and throwing herself into her studying just so that she had a way to get away from the pain all the betrayals had caused her. Then, after all that, she told him about being sent to Ponyville by Celestia to learn about friendship, but really to stop Nightmare Moon's return. She told him how she found the elements of harmony along with Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie (who's name caused him to bite his hoof,), Fluttershy, Applejack (who's name made his eyebrows scrunch up), and Rarity. Then she got to today.

        "It all started again," she choked out in-between sobs. "They all started to press me, told me all of their great fantasies of what would happen at the gala. When I told them that I would have to think about it they started in with gifts, trying to bribe their way into my friendship. Then they all ganged up on me, not just my so-called friends but everypony in town. I grabbed Spike and wished they would all just go away. The next thing I knew, I had teleported to the library. You know what's funny though? I would have gladly gone with them, I would have given away my ticket without a second thought, if only they had just said that they wanted to to the gala with me, not just go." She gave off a few hiccups and then stood back up. As Card went to pick up his jacket she said," Thanks for listening. I feel so much better now."

        "No problem," dismissed Card, "but I wouldn't be so ready to dismiss your friends just yet. From what you told me, I doubt that they were doing this on purpose. Why don't you try telling them that the way they acted was rude and hurt your feelings. See how they react when they realize what they were doing. It might surprise you."

        "I don't know if I can see them yet." admitted Twilight with a shaky voice.

        "So wait a while. See if they come to the conclusion on their own after they've cooled down a bit."

        "Are you certain?"

        "Postive," Card reassured her. "I'll even come with you when you're ready to do it. What’s important is that you don’t judge everyone based off of the past, whether it’s your past or theirs."

        "Okay, I guess," Twilight said uncertainly. She wiped off her tears. "So where are these books of yours."

        "Right on that table," said Card.

        When did those get there? "Ok, so I believe you brought up a book named Dragon's Egg? That sounds interesting."

        "Oh, you have no idea."



-----2 hours of reading later-----



        "Well, it's getting to be kinda late. I should probably get going. why don’t you hold on to those books, see if you can get through them all." Card said, while looking at a clock above Twilight's head.

        "You're leaving so soon?" Twilight said, not wanting the one who was quickly becoming her best friend, aside from Spike, to go.

        "Well, I still have to go give Pie that apology you made me promise to give her."

        "Oh, " Twilight said, recalling the outburst at SugarCube Corner. "Well let me come with you. I need to go to Rarity's to pick up Spike, and I want to talk to her about today before my nerves leave me. Carousel Boutique isn’t that far away from

        "Okay," Card said, "Now, do you know where Pie is?"

        "N- no, actually," Twilight admitted, "I haven't seen her since you exploded at her and she ran off to her room."

        "Well that's a good place to start. Even if we don't find her there, we can at least get some food. Let's go." He headed over to and then opened the door, "Mares first."

        "Thank you"

        “No problem. Now, what do you think of your first foray into the galaxy that is Sci-fi?”
     


While they go off on their little walk, let us check in with someone else who’s day is not going so well. TELEPORT TO S.C.C., AWAY!!!!



        *Knock, knock, knock* 

        “Who’s there?” came softly from beyond the door.

        “It’s me dearie. I have your food.”

        “...” Taking the silence as a yes, Ms. Cake opened the door to see a deflated Pinkie Pie, sitting on her bedroom floor with rivulets of tears on her cheeks.

        “Here you go dearie.” Said Ms. Cake, “ I made your favorite. Triple decker pink bombs.”

        “... Not hungry.” At this Ms. Cake sighed, put her tray down onto Pinkie’s bed and then came to sit down next to her. 

        “Dearie, you have to eat.”

        “Don’t feel like it.” Pinkie whispered, not even bothering to look at her mother-figure.

        “Pinkie...”

        “... How could he be so mean.” 

        “I don’t know.” Ms. Cake said, remembering the event that caused her daughter in all but blood such pain. 

“I was just trying to make him feel welcome. I gave him a cake, I tried to throw him a party, I even followed him all around town to see where he lived so I throw him a housewarming party. But no matter what he just ran away... Then he said.. he said...” Pinkie Pie started to cry again. The sight made Ms. Cake’s heart break, and she hugged her, tried to protect her from the world.

“Some ponies are just bitter hateful creatures. He was probably somepony who can only see the bad in things. Ponies like him exist, and they say some hurtful things, but you can’t let them bother you. You need to let your life go on.”

        “...” Ms. Cake sighed again, got up, and moved to pick up the tray.”

        “... Leave it here, please.”

        “Yes, dearie. When you’re done, come down to put it away. Ok?” Ms. Cake said with a smile appearing on her face.

        “... Ok.”

        At this Ms. Cake left the room and rushed back to the kitchen where her husband was.

        “Any progress?” Mr. Cake asked.

        “She’s asked me to leave the tray.”

        “That’s fantastic.”

        “I agree dearie, it’s just...” Ms. Cake got a slight frown, “It’s been three days since that stallion was here. I can’t imagine why she’s still upset.”

        “Pinkie’s delicate, you know that.”

        “I know, but still. I just wish there were more we could do for her.”

        “So do I sweetheart.” at this Mr. Cake swept his wife up into a hug. “So do I.



 Now back to our two walkers. What? No I’m not going to teleport you, they’re right outside! Lazy bums. *grumble, grumble, kids these days..., grumble, grumble* 



        “Ok, we’re here,” said Twilight.

        “Awesome,” Card then turned over to face Twilight, “Now Twinkly are you sure that you don’t want me with you when you 
talk to that Rarity mare?”

        “Yes.” Twilight said with a determined look on her face. “I need to confront them on my own.”

        “Ok, if you’re sure.” Card remarked with an uncertain tone in his voice.

        “I am. Now, don’t you have an apology to deliver.”

        “Yeah, ok. Bye.”

        “Goodbye.” Twilight waved her hoof goodbye at set off on the path to Rarity’s business, leaving Card standing there on his own.

        “Well,” Card said, turning his attention to the restaurant in front of him, “Might as well get it over with.”

        *Chime Chime* went the bells as Card pushed open the door.

        “Hello, how may I help y-” Mr. Cake stopped in the middle of his greeting upon seeing who it was at his door way. His face 
darkened, he snapped out, “What do you want.”

        “I came here to apologize to Pie for my rude behavior.” said Card before he bowed to Mr. Cake and said “I would also 
like to apologize to you for causing such a disturbance in your restaurant.”

        “Oh.” said one very taken-aback Mr. Cake, whatever he was expecting an apology clearly wasn’t at the top of his list. “Well if you’re here to apologize, then I suppose I shouldn’t stop you. Pinkie is right upstairs, here let me show you to her room.”

        “Thank you.”

        “You know, what you said to her hurt her really bad.” Mr. Cake said as he lead the stallion up the stairs. 

        “Really?”

        “Yeah. She hasn’t eaten, has barely talked to anyone, she won’t even leave her room except to go to the bathroom.”

        “Really, now.” Card said with a troubled look on his face, “That’s not good.”

        “I know. Whatever you plan on saying to her, it had better be good. Here’s her room.”

        “Thank you.” Card said as he opened the door. Mr. Cake just walked down the stairs, back to his kitchen.

        Card took his first steps into the dark room, when suddenly he heard a tiny voice say,

        “The tray’s outside Ms. Cake. It was delicious, thank you.” Pinkie Pie said, still on the ground not even turning to look at the door.

        “I’m not Ms. Cake.” Card said in his most delicate voice, but to no avail. As soon as Pinkie heard that voice, the one that had been in her nightmares, she dashed to the farthest possible place in her room she could get to.

        “Wh- What do you want.” She stammered out. Card took a few steps towards her.

        “I just want to-”

        “No! Don’t come any closer!” She said as she tried to push herself into the wall.

        “Fine, I’ll stay here. I just wanted to apologize to you. I am very, very sorry.”

        “Re- Really?” Pinkie asked, peeling herself off the wall. “you mean it?”

        “Yes I d-”

        “YAY!!! I knew nopony could say all those mean things!” She ran over to try to give him a hug, only to crash straight into a wall.

        “Wait what?” Card said with a confused look on his face, “What do you think I’m apologizing for?”

        “For all of those meanie-mean things you said!” Pinkie said as she bounced around, her hair now coming back to full inflation.

        “What?” Card said as he shook his head, “I’m not apologizing for that.”

        “O-o-oh.” Pinkie went as she slowly stopped bouncing around and her hair began to straighten out again. 

        “Yeah.” Card said as he looked at her, “I meant every word I said to you. What I came to apologize for is bursting out at you at, not only your job, but your home. That was very rude of me, and I apologize for it from the bottom of my heart.” At this Pinkie started crying again.

        “B- B- But I- I- I-” She said while whimpering “I did all those things for you. I gave you a cake.

        “You threw it in my face!”

        “I threw you a party.”

        “You fired at cannon at me!!!”

        “I even tried to find out where you live so I could throw you a housewarming party. How can be so mean after all of that.”

        “YOU WERE STALKING ME!!!!” Card said, his hackles fully raised. “Yeesh, don’t you know what the word “boundaries” means?”

        “B- B- But.” Pinkie stammered out.

        “But nothing! You’re like a child who thinks the world revolves around them, and that all of their ideas are fantastic, no matter what anyone else thinks. Did you ever think that maybe my constantly running away from you was a sign I didn’t want to party?”

        “How could you not want to party?” said Pinkie Pie, the very concept seeming ludicrous to her.

        “Anyway,” Card said ignoring her question, “What’s with all the sorrow? You’re acting like you’ve never been insulted be-” He looked over to her and took on a shocked expression. “Oh my God, You’ve never been insulted before, have you?”

        “No one as mean as you has ever been here before.” Pinkie admitted.

        “That explains so much.” Card then suddenly took on a very serious expression. “Look Pie, I can guarantee that I am not the only pony in this city who doesn’t want to party all the time. You seem to be a smart mare, why don’t you try paying more attention to how ponies around you react whenever you show up. What you discover might surprise you. If I am wrong about all of this, then you can throw me the biggest party in the world and I won’t complain. I’ll even tell you where I live so you can have it at my house. I will pay for it all, all you have to do is pay close attention to ponies when you walk by, Ok?”

        “Why should I listen to you? Ms. Cake says that you’re just bitter and hateful, and that you can’t see the good in anything.” Pinkie Pie said, finally standing up to look him in the eye.

        “That is not true, I can see the good in everything. I even see something I like in you.”

        “Oh really, what?” Pinkie challenged.

        “I like your mane.” Card admitted, “I think that it looks very good with all your hair straight like that.” He then opened up the door. “Look, I am leaving now, but why don’t you think about what I have said.” He left the room, picked up the tray outside of it, and, after giving the tray back to a pony who he assumed to be Ms. Cake, he left S.C.C. and went home.



 …  …   …   …   ..Oh, sorry. I was in the bathroom. Anyways, let us check in on Ms. Sparkle, see how she’s doing. 



Ok Twilight, you can do this. Just talk to Rarity and tell her how bad she made you feel with how she acted. Twilight took a deep breath and knocked on the door. “Rarity, I’m here to get Spike, can I come in.”

“Oh, of course dear. Come in.” Rarity said while grinning wildly. “So, I assume that you are here to give me the other ticket?”

“Actually, Rarity-” Twilight said

“I accept of course. Oh I can’t wait to meet my prince charming.” went Rarity, completly ignoring Twilight

“About the tickets-”

“Oh, he’ll sweep me off my hooves, and take me to dinner, and treat me like a-”

“I gave back the tickets. At least I will” This made Rarity stop, shocked at the revelation

“...What.” Rarity said, flabbergasted, “How could you? Why would you?”

“Because they were making my friends fight over me and I started to feel less like I was your friend, and more like I was some trophy to be fought over.” Twilight admitted. “I didn’t want friends who made me feel like they were only there for my stuff.”

“I- I had no idea. I am so sorry Twilight. How can I make it up to you?” Rarity asked

“You don’t have to, just please, never treat me like a prize again. It... It doesn’t feel good.”

“Of course. I am so sorry.” Rarity said again, still with a shocked look on her face.

“Don’t worry about it.” Twilight then looked around and said “Where is Spike? I do need to bring him home.”

“Oh the poor little thing fell asleep. Here let me go wake him up.” She went to a small basket in the corner and started to shake the purple dragon.

“Hmm, Hmm.” Spike woke up. “Oh hi Rarity.”

“Hello Spike. Look, Twilight’s here to pick you up. Thanks for all of your help today sweetie.” At this Spike blushed and stammered out.

“I- I- I- It was no problem Rarity.” Twilight had to stifle a giggle seeing the little dragon shift around like he really had to go to the bathroom.

“Come on Spike, let’s go home.” Twilight called out. “Goodbye Rarity.”

“Yeah, Goodbye Rarity.”

“Good night, both of you.” Rarity said as she saw them to the door.



-----Back at the library-----



“Spike, before you go to sleep I need you to take a letter for me.”

“*Yawn Ok, Twilight.” Spike said as he pulled out his quill and paper.



“Dear Celestia,
        Today I learned that you should not judge everypony based off of what happened to you in the past. Everypony deserves a clean slate when you meet them.
        
Your Faithful Student,
        Twilight Sparkle”

After he sent the letter, Spike fell down where he stood and went straight to sleep. While chuckling, Twilight picked him up and put him in his bed. Now, just one thing left for me to do before bed. She went up to her bedroom and pulled open her desk drawer. Taking the unfinished letter out of it, she used a scissor spell to cut it up into tiny pieces and then threw it into her wastepaper basket. With this act done, she headed to sleep satisfied.
> Where Is My Doggy?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “Look, all I’m saying is that he was a pretty big fan favorite,” Card said to Twilight, “The writers knew that, and so they started to give him more and more abilities that he didn’t have before, and it was starting to get out of hand.” Card and Twilight were sitting in the library, enjoying what had become a sort of daily ritual. Card would come to the library, Twilight would talk to him about the books he had her left the previous day, and they would get into a fun little debate about things in those books that they disagreed on while they read the new ones. Today’s debate was on one specific character in a series that Twilight had just finished. Card thought he was overpowered by the end of it, and Twilight thought that he had just gone through natural growth.

        “I know that, but the others got ridiculous powers too,” Twilight rebutted, “The captain got a sudden boost in his aiming skills, the guard suddenly became a much better fighter.” 

        “Yes,” Card broke in, “But they all had reasons for their sudden increase in abilities. Captain actually started to train his aim more at the end of the previous book and as for the guard, he was never weak it’s just that he was never given a chance to fight until the enemy had already gotten strong enough to wipe the floor with him. Data, on the other hand, went from being hurt by a single story fall in the first book, to kinda being able to deflect arrows in the fourth, and in the eighth he can suddenly be fine from a three story drop, and arrows just bounce off of him at point blank range. All of this with no explanation at all.”

        “Okay, true,” admitted Twilight, “But couldn’t they have just upgraded him in-between books?”

        “Yes, I suppose that possible, but they never bring it up and you can’t give people credit for something they don’t acknowledge in the story. Either way, they took it to pretty extreme levels is all I’m saying. If he made it to the eleventh book, he’d probably be given rocket boots.”

        “Oh, come on the writers wouldn’t go that f-” Twilight broke off, finally looking up at Card, “Do you hear something?” she asked.

        “What you mean that rumbling noise? Yeah,” Card said with his nose still in his book.

        “What do you think it is?”

        “Well it sounds like a stampede of cattle heading straight into the heart of the town,” Card said nonchalantly.

        “WHAT!!!” Twilight said freaking out, “We have to go stop them!”

        “mmmmm...” Card said looking unsure if he wanted to put down his book, just to stop a little thing like a stampede.

        “CARD!!!” Twilight yelled.

        “Fine, ok,” Card sighed as he marked off his place in the book. “Let’s go, ladies first.” As soon as he opened the door, Twilight went running off toward the edge of town to try to stop the cows from reaching the city. Card sighed again and began to follow her at a much more leisurely pace.

        By the time he got there, he saw that the cows had all been calmed down and Twilight was standing there next to a young mare with a blonde mane and a light orange coat. “Hey, Twinkly!” he called out, “Over here.”

        “Where were you?” Twilight asked in a rather angry tone of voice.

        “I was walking,” Card replied in a rather bored tone of voice. “And now that I am here, I can see that there was, in fact, no need for me to have stopped reading. Now then it’s almost lunchtime, pardon me ma’am,” he said turning to look at the mare whose name he didn’t know. “Is there someplace in this town that serves food that isn’t covered in sugar?”

        “Why Twilight, who’s your friend?”

        “Oh Applejack, this is Card.” Twilight turned away from Card to tell Applejack about her newest friend. “He’s the first pony to have ever come to the library to read, and he’s also the one who convinced me to talk to you about how you acted a week ago, about the tickets.”

        “Oh, that was you?” Applejack turned to Card. “Well thank you kindly, if Granny Smith had seen me acting like that she would have been so ashamed at me. I still can’t believe that I had acted like that over just a possible business deal.”

        “Yeah no problem,” Card said with a rather distracted look on his face, “Look, can you answer my question?”

        “Oh, about the food place?”

        “Yeah that one,” Card said, still looking like he was trying very hard to remember something.

        “Oh, well if you just go down this road aways, and take your fourth right you’ll come to a nice little cafe, with some amazing sandwiches.” Applejack said.

        “That’ll do nicely, thank you.”

        “Happy to be of help. Maybe you could come over to my stall sometime. We have the best apples in all of Equestria. It’s just past the main entrance of town” Applejack said with a smile on her face. 

        “Yeah, I’ll be sure to do that.”

        “So long.”

        “Yeah,” Card said. “Yeah, goodbye Jackie.” He turned around. “Come on Twinkly, lunch is on me.”

        “What?” Twilight asked as she turned around to follow him, “No it’s not, I can pay for myself.”

        “Yeah, but,” Card rebutted, “You payed for me last time. I’m just returning the favor.”

        “Oh, that’s not necessary,” Twilight said.

        “Yes it is. I always pay my debts.”

        “Well you don’t-”

        This continued until they reached the cafe and took their seats. After the food had come Twilight asked him about something that had been bothering her. “Card?” 

        “Umm-hmm” Card said looking up from his food, “What is it, Twinkly?”

        “Well,” Twilight began, unsure of how to phrase her question, “How did you know that my friends would react to me telling them off like the way you told me to so well. You didn’t know most of them, and they’re all pretty different.”

        “Oh, is that all?” Card said returning his attention to the mashed potatoes in front of him. “Well, that’s simple. I may not know how your friends behave, but I do know how ponies in general behave. After all, I would be a pretty bad psychiatrist if I didn’t.”

        “Wait, you’re a psychiatrist?” Twilight asked.

        “Yeah,” Card replied. “Why?”

        “How old are you?” Twilight asked with a look of shock on her face.

        “23.”

        “What!” Twilight exclaimed.

        “Yeah. How old are you?” Card asked with a curious look on his face.

        “I’m 21,” Twilight said distractedly, “You’re really a full psychiatrist? A doctor? Really?”

        “Yeah, got my M.D. last year.”

        “Wow!” Twilight said with a look of awe. “That’s incredible.”

        “Glad to have impressed.” Card said with a look of immense self-satisfaction, “Now is that all?”

        “Well...” Twilight trailed off remembering another little thing, “What was with the way you acted around Applejack? It was really strange.”

        “Oh, well she just reminded... me...” Card got a sudden look of understanding on his face and burst out, “She’s the demon baby!” Card then took out a stack of bits, threw them on the counter, and said “I can’t believe I almost forgot!”

        “Wha-” Twilight said, but that’s all she was able to get out before Card ran out of sight, heading towards the town entrance. Twilight sighed, counted the bits he left, decided that they were enough to cover for their meals, and then left to follow him. This must be how he felt when I ran off, she thought.




-----Meanwhile at the town entrance-----




        “Hey!” Card yelled as soon as he saw what he assumed to be the apple cart. “Jackie! I have a message for you!”

        Applejack turned around to see a stallion racing towards her yelling at the top of his lungs. When he got close enough she recognized him as the stallion who was with Twilight an hour ago. “Howdy,”

        “Yeah, yeah howdy,” said a breathless Card.

        “Wow, you look like you could use a drink.” Applejack rummaged around her cart for a while before pulling out a jug. “Here, have soon apple juice.” Card tossed her a couple of bits, then grabbed the jug away, chugging it down.

        While he was doing that, she asked him about the message he was yelling about.

        “Oh, oh yeah.” Card said, “Really good apple juice, this is.”

        “The message?” Applejack asked assuming it to be some order he was told to give to her from Twilight. What it was however, shocked her.

        “Brick told me to tell you that he wants his hat back.” With that done, Card turned around and said, “Well, I feel pretty tired. Hey if Twilight comes looking for me tell her I went home. Kthanksbye,” he said as he walked off, leaving a shocked Applejack behind him.

        A few minutes later, Twilight arrived to see said shocked Applejack and said,

        “What’s wrong? Did Card do something? I would have been here sooner but Mayor Mare wanted to talk to me. Also, she wants to give you a medal.” Applejack shook herself out of her stupor upon hearing her friends voice and said, 

        “No, no. Ah just.. He just told me somethang I never expected ta hear.” Turning back to her friend she then said, “Now what was that about a medal?”

        “Well you see..”




-----The next day, at Applejacks intervention-----




        “Yes, Twilight,” Applejack said with a sigh of defeat. “Yes please, I could really use your help.” Twilight gave a little chuckle then turned around, only to turn around again when she heard a gasp. 

        “What, Applejack?” Twilight asked, “What is it?

        “Where’s Winona?” Applejack started to panic, “Winona! Winona!” At this everybody started to look around, but with no luck. 

        “Ok,” Twilight said, “When was the last time you saw her?”

        “At the bunny stampede,” Applejack said, distraught.

        “Ok, lets go into town and see if we can find her there.”

        “Okay, let’s go!!!” They went into town, spread out to cover more room with the understanding that they would regroup at Twilights tree after an hour and started to ask around. 



        “Oh hey. Twinkly, where were you today? I was beginning to think that you had moved without telling me.” Card said jokingly. He then looked up from his book, and saw what was standing at the door, “What’s going on? Why do you all look so sad?” he asked.

        “Oh, hey Card.” Twilight said in a defeated tone of voice. “We’re trying to find Applejack’s dog, and we haven’t had any luck.”

        “Oh, is that all?” Card asked. “You just need to find a dog? That’s not so hard to do.”

        “Oh yeah,” snapped Rainbow Dash, “I’d like to see you do it.”

        “Challenge accepted.” And with that card took a piece of metal out of his jacket, stepped out the door, put the metal to his lip and blew. 

        “...Well, we’re waiting.” Rainbow Dash said smugly before turning back to her friends, “See, he couldn’t do it either. Now let’s head out again s-”

        Then came a loud “Woof, Woof” from the streets, and closely following behind the sound was…

        “Winona!” said an overjoyed Applejack as she took her dog up into her hooves. She then turned to Card and said “Thank you, Thank you so much! How can I repay you?”

        “A few gallons of that juice would be nice,” said Card as he looked at the scene with a bemused expression.

        “You got it!” said Applejack. “Oh, Winona, don’t you ever do that again!” While Applejack was admonishing her dog, Rainbow Dash was doing a very good impression of a fish.

        “But- but- you- dog-” She looked at Card and managed to force out “How?” He just lifted up his hoof and said,

        “Dog whistle. Very useful.”

        “What?” Rainbow Dash burst out, “Why did you have that?” 

        At this Card gave a bit of a sheepish grin and just said, “That’s a bit of a long story, I’m afraid. Oh hey look at the time, gotta go, bye!” he said as he ran out.

        “I don’t trust that colt,” Rainbow Dash said, only to be ignored by her friends who were still celebrating the return of Winona. After a brief celebration, they all returned to their homes, and went to bed to await tomorrow. All of them, except Applejack who lay awake in bed thinking about the strange stallion. 

        Ah can’t believe that Ah forgot to ask him how he knew Brick. Ah guess Ah was just so happy when he got Winona to come back. After this Applejack reached inside of her hat and pulled out a picture. On it was one little yellow red-headed filly, one medium sized orange filly with blonde hair, and two big red colts, one with an apple-red coat and a blonde mane, one with a coat dark red as blood, a white mane and an uneasy look. When are you coming back? she thought sadly. After looking at this photo for a while Applejack carefully put it back into her stetson and went to sleep, dreaming of the past.
> Regenerating Bastards
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “So, my dad made all these paper stars, and he numbered them from 1-35.” Card told Twilight.

        “Really?” Twilight said as she balanced on a ladder to reorganize the library books, “What did - give me that book would you - did he do with them?” Today they were talking about the most annoying lessons they had ever had. The subject had come up after Twilight came across a particularly brutal form of testing in one of her books, and she mentioned it after Card came in. Right now it was Card's turn and he was talking about how his dad helped him learn about factors and prime numbers.

        “What he did was he set up this game where I would take a number and add that to my score, and he would take all of the numbers that factored into it and multiplied them all together,” Card said as he hoofed up another stack of books to Twilight, “It took me 4 weeks to finally beat that game."

        "Really?" Twilight said with a skeptical look on her face. "Four whole weeks?"

        "Well every time I did beat it, he would raise the amount of points that I had to win by," Card admitted. "First by ten, then twenty, and so on."

        “Oh. Well did it help you?” Twilight asked as she moved over to a new shelf.

        “Kinda, but like most of the things he used to teach me, it had a second purpose.”

        “Oh? What was that?” 

        “It was a way of teaching me how to keep track of everything at once, and to account for all of the possible way something could be altered, and how to narrow down those elements to your advantage.”

        “Was that all?” Twilight said as she came to the final shelf.

        “Well, no,” Card admitted, “It did also leave me with an irrational hatred of starfish.” Twilight gave a short laugh and then put the last book away.

        “There,” she said with a look of satisfaction on her face, “All done.”

        “Great,” Card said as he reached into his jacket, “Now unless something else happens, we can watch th-”

        *Knock Knock Knock* Card let out a sigh. “Dangit.”

        “I’ll get it,” Twilight said as she went to the door, to find behind it a downtrodden Pinkie Pie. 

        “Oh, hi Pinkie.” Twilight waved her friend in, “Come on in.” As Pinkie came into the library, she froze upon seeing a certain orange stallion at one of the tables. She started shaking like she was trying really hard to not run away. Twilight, noticing her friends discomfort, followed her eyes back to Card. After a brief moment of confusion, she remembered the incident at S.C.C. and how badly Pinkie reacted to it. Twilight then said to Card, “I think that you might want to leave, Pinkie seems to be uncomfortable around you.”

        “Yeah ok.” Card said with a sigh, “When you’re done talking to her, come and find me. I’ll be at the cafe.” He picked up the book he was reading and left. Upon the door closing behind him, Pinkie Pie visibly relaxed.

        “Now,” Twilight said as she turned to Pinkie, “What did you want to talk about?”




-----Now, time for time warp! 30 minutes later at the cafe.-----




        “Yo, Twinkly,” Card shouted as he saw Twilight walk up the street. “Over here.”

        “Hey Card,” Twilight said as she sat down at the table in front of the cafe. “Sorry for taking so long.”

        “Don’t worry about it,” Card said with a shake of his head while he tucked his book back into his jacket. “I hope you don’t mind that I ordered for you.” 

        Twilight looked down and saw that there was indeed a daisy sandwich in front of her. “Oh, my favorite!” she said. “How did you know?”

        “You almost always order the exact same thing, I just told the waitress to bring me the usual for you,” Card said.

        “Oh,” Twilight said as she realized just how often she had been eating at the cafe. Come think of it, when was the last time I ate lunch at home? “Well, thanks anyways. you even remembered the extra hay fries for Spike.” She then dove into her sandwich. Card was polite enough to let her get in a few bites before he interrupted her. 

        “So, what did Pie want to talk to you about?” Card asked. 

        Twilight hesitated for a moment before saying, “She was just feeling a bit neglected.” Twilight said haltingly, “You see Rainbow’s old friend came into town today, and when she took up all of Rainbow’s attention Pinkie felt a bit left out.”

        “Really,” Card said with a look of thought on his face.

        “Yeah. She even got the idea that Gilda, that’s the name of Rainbow’s friend, was being mean to her on purpose. She said that Gilda was really grumpy, that she popped her balloons, that she told her to buzz off, and she seemed to be really hung up on it.”

        “Huh. So, what did you tell her.”

        “I told her that since Rainbow hadn’t seen Gilda in so long, then she would want to spend a lot of time with her. I also told her that she was probably blowing things a bit out of proportion due to her jealousy, and that she needed to take a step back and improve her attitude.”

        “Good advice,” Card said, “But there’s something you’re not telling me. What is it?”

        “Well... Pinkie seemed pretty off, like she was confused and kind of upset. I put it down to her feeling left out, but looking back I’m not so sure.” Twilight admitted.

        “Was she doing anything strange?” Card pressed with a suddenly serious look on his face.

        “Well, she did keep on looking at me, and then glancing away. It also seemed like her hair was a little flatter than usual.” Twilight said as she tried to remember the events in more detail. Card took on an even more distracted look, and seemed to be in deep thought. Twilight heard him mutter. “So, I was right.” At this Twilight got confused. Right about what? she wondered. She decided to voice her confusion only to get a startled look from Card and him saying,

        “Nothing. It just turns out that I’ve got something to take care of soon.” Twilight’s curiosity was peaked, but she said nothing, instead choosing to focus on finishing her sandwich.

        When the meal was over, Twilight noticed something as she got her bits out to pay. “Uh, Card. You have some ketchup on your chest.”

        “Oh?” Card swiped his hoof against the stain and then smelled it, before shaking his head, “Nah, that’s not ketchup.”

        “Well what is it then?” Twilight asked.

        “It’s blood.” Card said as he dabbed at it with a napkin, completely oblivious to Twilight’s look of shock.

        “Blood?” she asked, “Where from?”

        “Well, it’s from just about ten minutes before you arrived.” Card said as he rubbed against the stain all the more vigorously. “Come on,” He muttered, “Go away.”

        Twilight, meanwhile, just got an even more shocked look on her face. “How?” she asked. The stain seemed to have no intention of allowing itself to be driven off easily so Card gave a sigh of defeat and put the napkin down, turning his full attention back to Twilight.

        “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. What did you say?”

        Twilight gulped and said, “I asked you how you got a bloodstain on your chest in the short time I was talking to Pinkie.”

        “Oh.” Card said. “Well, that’s an interesting little story.”




-----Flashback Time!-----




        While I was sitting here and waiting for you, I saw a griffon flying across the sky. I thought nothing of it until she touched down in front of the cafe with an expression suggesting she had either just been eaten out, or had robbed a little old mare. 

        “Wait what?” Twilight interrupted.

        “The expressions are very similar. Try doing both sometime and look at your face in the mirror after each,” Card said. “Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah.” 

        After a brief glance around the front of the cafe, she saw that all the other tables were full and so she approached me. As I opened my mouth to offer her one of the chairs, she said ‘Get out of that chair nerd.’ Naturally I was bothered by this and so I, in the politest way I could think of mind you, asked her to leave. 

        ‘Bug off.’ 

        “... Why are you looking at me like that?”

         Despite my asking her to leave so nicely, she acted insulted and responded with, ‘Excuuuse me, bookworm. What did you just say to me?’ She got all up in my face too, about 3 inches away. After pushing her face away from me, I repeated my request although this time I did explain why I didn’t want to leave. 

        ‘I said, bug off, featherbrain. I’m saving this table for a friend.’ 

        She responded with, ‘I’m not asking, I’m telling. Get out of that seat. NOW.’ We went back and forth like this for a good while, until finally I got fed up with it. I returned my full attention to my book, after informing her that I would not deal with her any longer. 

        ‘Look, if you don’t fuck off by the time I count to three, I will punch you.’ She just scoffed, then shoved her face into mine and her talon at my chest.

        ‘Hah. I’d like to see you try’ she said, in what she probably thought was an intimidating tone. I started counting down. 

        ‘1’ She just flared out her wings and and came even closer. 

        ‘2’ I said as I marked off my place in my book and closed it. 

        ‘3’ She still didn’t leave, and as she opened her mouth

        ‘I kn-’ I drove my hoof into the bottom of her beak. That apparently gave her a nose bleed, and the blood from that must have landed on me.’




-----Flashback Time Over!!!-----




        “...”

        “...”

        “...”

        “Twinkly, if you leave you mouth open like that you’re going to let flies in.” Card said.

        “... You-” Twilight said with disbelief, “You hit a- a- a-,” Wait, what do you call a female griffon? Oh well. “A female!?!”

        “Yes,” Card said. “I did warn her first, and she was being a bitch. I didn’t even tell you about all the things she called me.”

        “You still hit a female!” Twilight said indignantly.

        “Not hard enough to do any lasting damage, don’t worry,” Card said as he tried to placate Twilight. “I have pretty good control over my strength, and her nose had stopped bleeding by the time she flew away with her tail between her legs.”

        “But- you’re not supposed to hit females!”

        “Why not?” Card asked. “When it comes to facing consequences, why would someone deserve to get off easy due to something completely out of their control?”

        “Well... Well...” Twilight struggled to come up with an answer. “Because- Well you should-” She sighed. “I’ll get back to you on that.” 

        “Please do.” Card then got out his wallet and threw some bits down on the table as he said, “Look, I have to get going. Please think some more about this, I would like to hear your opinions.” Card then turned around and left, leaving behind a unicorn in deep thought. At least she was in deep thought, until Pinkie found her.

        “Twilight!” Pinkie yelled, causing Twilight to nearly fall over at being yanked out of her thoughts so quickly. As she recovered herself, Pinkie began telling her about her plan to throw a party for Rainbow Dash’s friend.

        “And then she’ll feel so happy about it, that all of her grumpiness will melt away!” Pinkie finished. “What do you think Twilight?” 

        “Huh?” Twilight said having finally regained her balance. “Oh, yeah. That’ll definitely work.” Maybe I should ask Princess Celestia what she thinks about it?

        “Great! Let’s go!” Pinkie then grabbed Twilight by the hoof and started to drag her to the S.C.C. Damnit, that hoof just stopped feeling sore!




-----Later that day, after the party was done-----




        Mr. Cake sighed as he looked over the mess that was left in his bakery after Pinkie’s most recent party, which had just ended. For all that he loved Pinkie, he wished that she would keep the mess down to a minimum. But hey, at least she helped in the clean up. Currently she was aiding his dear wife with all the dishes she had gotten dirty. With another sigh he got ready to clean up the room, deciding to start with the icing stain on the ceiling. How does she get those up there? he thought as he set up the ladder and got a mop, but before work could actually start, he heard a knock at the door. Did I forget to turn the sign to closed again? He let out yet another sigh as he prepared himself for the look of disappointment he would get from the customer he would have to turn away. He opened the door and said “Sorry, we’re closed for the evening.”

        “Oh, that’s ok, I’m not here as a customer.”

        Mr. Cake took on a shocked expression, which only deepened, along with a narrowing of his eyes, as he realized who was standing at his doorstep.

        “I would like to talk to you about Pie,” said Card. “May I come in?”

> Getting Help
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “...”

        “...”

        “...We don’t sell pie here, I’m afraid.” Mr. Cake said, hoping that he’d misunderstood what the strange stallion wanted.

        “Oh, no I’m talking about,” -Card let out a sigh and placed his hoof to his forehead- “Pinkie. I would like to talk to you about her.”

        “Why?” Mr. Cake said as he went outside, closing the door behind him. “What do you want from her?”

        “I want to help her.”

        “With what, exactly?” Mr. Cake said, now taking on a suspicious face.

        “I’d be happy to tell you, but I don’t feel like doing it outside. May I come in?” 

        Mr. Cake felt conflicted. On the one hoof, this was the stallion who sent the mare who was all but his daughter into a massive depression, but on the other hoof Carrot was always told not to judge ponies just off first impressions. Mr. Cake sighed and decided that he should at least hear this stallion out, especially if it has to do with Pinkie. “Come in,” He said as he opened the door. “We can talk in the kitchen.”

        “Thank you,” Card replied.

        “Just wait here for a moment.” With that Mr. Cake went off to speak with his wife, but first, “Pinkie.” He said as he walked in, “We can handle the rest. Why don’t you go to sleep?” His wife looked at him like he was insane, a sentiment that Pinkie seemed to share.

        “But there’s still so much, and I couldn’t just leave you both to do it all alone!” Pinkie said, “Especially since it’s all my mess!” Mrs. Cake opened her mouth to voice her agreement, but Mr. Cake silenced her with his, ‘There is a reason, I’m not insane yet,’ look.

        “Look Pinkie, if you feel so guilty about it then how about you man the store in the morning, as a way of repaying us for this,” Mr. Cake said. “Now go, you look tired.”

        “But I-” Pinkie tried to say, only to be interrupted by Mrs. Cake

        “Dearie, go to sleep. Carrot and I will be fine” 

        “Okay, if you’re sure.” Pinkie then bounded up to her room and started her preparations for the night, tossing back a “Nighty-night night!” towards the Cakes.

        “Goodnight!” Mr. and Mrs. Cake said together, before Ms. Cake rounded on her husband and asked him, “What is it that’s so important that Pinkie had to leave?”

        “We have a visitor.” Mr. Cake then went back to anterior and fetched Card, telling him to follow. When Card reached the kitchen and Mrs. Cake saw him, she had a reaction similar to husbands.

        “What are you doing here?” she said with a very fake looking smile on her face as she sat down at the table, her husband following suit.

        “May I sit down?” Card asked, and received a nod in the affirmative. “Thank you. Now then I would like to talk to you about your daughter Pinkie Pie.”

        “Yes, what about?” Mr. Cake asked.

        “It is my opinion that your daughter has some fairly severe social problems, and I believe that I can help her work them out,” Card said hesitantly, as though he were expecting a severe reprisal. He was not disappointed.

        “And what, pray tell, do you mean by that?” Mr. Card said as he leaned across the table looking like he was about to start throwing blows at any moment, only to be calmed down by his wife’s hoof on his shoulder.

        “Well...” Card said uncertainly, “I believe that Pie has a few... quirks.”

        “And what does that mean?” Mr. Cake demanded. “Spit it out already.”

        Card sighed and said, “Look, Pie has trouble keeping focus, a lack resistance to criticism, and absolutely no social grace. She, in short, acts like a hyperactive child.”

        Mr. Cake took on an absolutely furious expression and said, “Look, if you just came here to insult my-”

        “I did not,” Card said. “I came here because I believe that I can help Pie out.”

        “Help her out with what? She’s perfectly fine. So what if she’s a little forward? She’s still a good mare.”
        
        “Her decency is not in question here,” Card said firmly. “The problem is that there is a difference between ‘a little forward’ and chasing a stranger around the town, trying to shoot a cannon at him!”

         Mr. Cake had had just about enough of this stranger insulting his daughter by this point and was about to get up and show him the door, only to be interrupted by his wife.

        “Let’s say that everything you said is true,” Mrs. Cake said, speaking for the first time since they sat down. “How would you be able to help her?”

        Card took on a look of relief, and said, “I am a psychiatrist, and I believe that I can help Pie by having sessions with her. Find out why she is how she is and help her get past that.”

        “And what if you’re wrong,” Mrs. Cake said. “What if there is nothing wrong with her?”

        “If I am wrong, then I will be able to tell fairly quickly. All that I need to do is speak to Pie, and see if she wants my help.”

        “You want us to let you be alone with her?” Mr. Cake asked through gritted teeth, having gotten his anger back under control.

        “Not necessarily.” Card said, “If you wish, then you could sit in on our first few sessions.”

        “Even if we do let you do this, how do we know that you’re any good at what you do?” Mr. Cake said, “For all we know you could be a complete fraud.”

        “My medical license is right here,” Card said as he took it out of his jacket.

        “That doesn’t prove anything, you could be horrible at your job.” Mr. Cake said with an air of desperation, trying to keep this stallion away from Pinkie but sensing his wife getting suckered into his manipulations. “And you could still be wrong about Pinkie. You’ve only spoken to her twice, and both times she barely said a thing.”

        “I am very good at getting impressions of ponies from brief conversations,” Card said with a look of pride, “I take what ponies do, not just what they say, and build my impression off of that. Subject to change, of course.”

        Gotcha! Mr. Cake thought, and then said, “Fine, if you can tell me a few things about us Mr...”

        “Card. Dr. Card, if you wish to be formal.”

        “Card, I will let you go talk to Pinkie.”

        “Well...” Card said as he took a thorough glance around the room, “I can’t tell much...”

        I knew it, he’s all-

        “But” Card said, interrupting Mr. Cake’s thoughts, “I can tell that you inherited this place, and she got it by marriage. Also that she worked here before you started dating and she asked you out on your first date, though you proposed to her.” Card looked over at Mr. Cake whose jaw was about to hit the floor. “The last thing I was able to tell is that you two are thinking about having a baby, but are not completely sure about it yet.”

        “Wha- how-” Mr. Cake stammered out.

        “Tricks of the trade, ” Card said dismissively, “Now, given your expression I assume I was right, so would one of you please point me to Pie’s room?”

        Ms. Cake gave him the directions, and then focused on helping her husband not fall over in shock. Card thanked her and then headed up to Pinkie’s room.

        “Cup, what are you thinking?” Mr. Cake said to his wife, aghast at her taking a side against him.

        “I was th-” her rebuttal however was interrupted by the sound of hoofbeats rushing down the stairs.

        “Wait,” Card said as he rushed back into the kitchen, “Three pages of desserts, and you don’t have any pie?”

        “Don’t you have a thing to do?” Mr. Cake said with a glare.

        “Oh, yeah.” Card rushed back up the stairs to Pinkies room.

        Mr. Cake sighed and said, “Interruption aside, Cup what are you thinking? You know how fragile Pinkie is, and you’ve just sent the stallion who sent her into a 3-day long depression alone into her room.”

        “He’s also the one who got her out of it, when neither of us could.” Ms. Cake said.

        “So he fixes his own mistakes, big whoop. We don’t know anything about this Card fellow, he could be planning anything. How could you trust him like that?” 

        “Did you get a good look at his eyes?” Ms. Cake said.

        “Huh?” Mr. Cake responded, “What does that have to do with anything?”

        “Those eyes he had were not the eyes of cruelty. The whole time he was talking to us, his eyes kept on flicking up to Pinkie’s room, like he was concerned about her.” Ms. Cake said in an attempt to calm her husband down, “I really think that his intentions are good. Please just trust me on this one, I have a good feeling about him.”

        “But-” Mr. Cake let out another sigh, “Fine I’ll give him a chance. But if I hear a single noise from Pinkie’s room while he’s up there, I’m going to give him what for!”

        “That’s all I ask Carrot.” Ms. Cake, “Thank you.”



-----Meanwhile up in Pinkie’s room-----



        I Wonder Why Mr. and Mrs. Cake wanted me to leave so badly? They looked like they really needed to talk to each other. Pinkie Pie was thinking to herself as she got herself ready for bed, Maybe they finally wanted to get started on that baby. THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!!! I could get to throw a baby shower, and I would get to be the big sister for once! I wonder what I would need to throw a baby shower? Probably s- Her thoughts were broken by the knocking at her door. I bet that’s Mrs. Cake coming up to tuck me in again. I wish she would stop doing that. “Come in!” Pinkie shouted at her door.

        As the door opened, she saw him. Quickly as she could, she backed away to the far side of her room, and her perpetual smile became hollow. “Wh- what do you want?” Pinkie asked nervously.

        “I would like to speak to you.” Card replied as he attempted to close the distance between them. Pinkie recoiled, trying to press herself against the wall. Upon seeing her reaction, Card backed away from her until he was all but standing back out in the hallway. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said in a soothing tone. “I just want to talk to you for a little bit. I promise I won’t insult you either.”

        “Pr- promise?” Pinkie said, “Do you Pinkie Pie promise?”

        “Yeah sure,” Card said, “Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. That work for you?”

        “That doesn’t sound right.”

        “It’s just how I’m used to doing it. Now, may I come closer?” Card asked. “It’ll be easier for me to talk to you.”

        “Okay. I’ll believe you.” Pinkie hesitantly peeled herself off the wall and motioned for the stallion to come to her. 

        “Thank you.” Card said as drew near and looked Pinkie in the eyes, “Now then, my name i-” Only to be interrupted by Pinkie shuddering and looking away. “What’s wrong now?” Card asked with an annoyed sigh in his voice.

        “Those eyes...” Pinkie muttered to herself. They’re just like my nightmares Card rolled the objects in question, and then looked around her room. Upon finding a scarf, he wrapped it around his eyes. 

        “Better?” he asked. Pinkie made a noise that sounded like an affirmation, so he decided to take it as one. “Good. As I was saying, my name is Card.”

        “I’m Pinkie Pie!!!” Pinkie said as she bounced around the stallion. “So Card, what did you want to talk to me about? Did you want to ask me how I made all those delicious cakes? Or what about how I set up all those parties for you? That’s what ponies usually ask me about!”

        “I wanted to ask if you had noticed anything about how ponies react to you.” At this Pinkie stopped bouncing around, and her hair deflated just a bit.

        “Wh- what do you mean?” She said, feigning ignorance.

        “Come on Pie, don’t insult my intelligence. If you hadn’t noticed anything, you would have told me and started to bug me about the party I promised you.” Pinkie took on a severely downcast look, and her hair completely flattened out. Card noticed the sudden lack of bouncy noise. “Please tell me, Pie. Whatever it is, I can help you with it. I swear it on my jacket!” Card said as he took on a dramatic pose. A moment passed, then...

        “Ha... ha.. ha-ha-ha!” Pinkie laughed.

        “Hey, what’s so funny?” Card asked. 

        “You’re posing at a wall,” Pinkie said in-between giggles as her hair re-inflated a bit.

        “Well, nevertheless,” Card said with an embarrassed look as he turned to face...  another wall, “The point still stands. I can help you, but you have to tell what you noticed first.” Pinkie became nervous again but finally decided to tell him.

        “Well,” said Pinkie “There’s what happened today.”

        “The thing with Rainy and her friend right?” Card said, 

        “Yeah.” Pinkie confirmed, “She kept on running away from me, and then even when she agreed to prank everypony with me she kept on looking ready to fly away at any moment. Then Gilda...”

        “Yes? Come on Pie, you were doing so well.” Card encouraged. “Don’t worry, I met her. I know how rude she is.”

        “She called me a dweeb, and said that Dashie didn’t need friends as un-cool as me.”

        “That can’t be it, you’re stronger than that.”

        “No, it was what happened at a party I tried to throw for her. Dashie set up all of these great pranks for Gilda to try to loosen her up. When they all went off, everypony just looked at me. When Gilda started to yell at me they didn’t even try to defend me, and they all just looked at me like it was what I deserved for setting up all of those pranks. Not one pony even tried to see if it was anypony other than me who did it.” as she was talking, Pinkie’s coat faded more and more.

        “It was just today?” Card asked

        “No, it’s like this every day” Pinkie admitted, “They smile at me, but there’s always fear behind it. They- they all look at me like I’m about to explode at any minute. It’s a horrible feeling, and I don’t like it, and I want it to go away!” She said with a sudden burst of passion.

        “And I can help you with that, I can help you change,” Card said, “but you will have to trust me.”

        “But- but I don’t want to stop being me!” Pinkie said. “I’ve been me all my life!”

        “You don’t have to stop being you, you just have to change how you act a little.” Card looked at the night sky, and then said, “Look, I need to get home. If you want me to help you, come to Twinkly’s library. If I’m not there, then she can tell me what your answer is. Good-bye Pie.” Card left, throwing the scarf behind him as he did so.

        I wonder if he can really do what he says he can? Pinkie thought as she closed her bedroom door. Then she remembered that silly pose he had and, because it looked fun, decided to try it. When she put on the scarf however, she noticed something strange. Hey, I can see through this thing just fine!

        When Card got back to the kitchen, he saw Mr. and Mrs. Cake finishing up the dishes. 
        
        “Hey,” Card said, “I don’t suppose you know who I can talk to about getting an office in the village do you?”

        “That would be Mayor Mare, dearie.” 

        “Thanks.”



-----So, here we end for th- What? What do you mean, there’s still one more thing to show? Not you, I’m talking to my boss. Where? Why do they ne- Oh. Well okay then, to the castle it is! TELEPORT!!!-----



        At Castle Canterlot, Celestia and Luna were enjoying a late dinner. Luna noticed something off about her sister, and so decided to voice her opinion.

        “Sister, is there something wrong with thou?” Luna said, “Thou keep on sighing.”

        “Oh, it’s nothing Luna.” Celestia then sighed again.

        “Really, sister?”

        “Really. It’s just that Twilight’s most recent letter has me feeling nostalgic.”

        “Why?”

        “A certain question she asked.”

        “What question?” Luna asked.

        “See if this sounds at all familiar,” Celestia said, “‘Is it right to treat ponies differently just due to circumstances out of their control, specifically gender?’”

        “I don’t...” Suddenly comprehension dawned on Luna’s face. “Ah, yes. That was one of his old favorites right?”

        “Yeah.” 

        “Well I canst see how that lead thou to canter down memory lane.” Luna then realized that she needed to get to work with the moon, and after making her goodbyes, left Celestia alone.

        Celestia teleported to her quarters, and before she fell asleep, pulled out an old photo album and turned to one page in particular. On that page was a photo of one white alicorn filly with rainbow hair, who was arguing with a slightly smaller blue alicorn filly. Standing over both of them however, was an alicorn colt with a yellow coat and hair that was red, but turned yellow at the tips, with a look on his face that said he was goading them on, but a posture that suggested he was willing to break it up the moment it got too serious.

        Celestia chuckled and slid the album back into place as she fell asleep and dreamt of the past.
















All done!


This will be done by the end of today!


What do you think of Card's and Pinkie's Convo so far. along with the talk he had with Mr. And Mrs. Cake


Alrighty, I am here.


Thinking of doing a liitle thing for dragonshy.


> Screw Paperwork
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        The Great and Powerful Trixie was currently in great and powerful trouble. Fantastic, Trixie thought, There goes my last spare wheel. Trixie’s wagon had broken down, again, on the way to her next performance. So much for this path being shorter. Sighing, she took the broken wheel off her wagon and then went inside to attempt to find something to fix it up with. While she was digging through her belongings to find some tape, she heard a curious whistling coming from outside and getting closer. Suddenly all of the old horror stories she heard as a filly came rushing back to her. Taking hold of the nearest heavy object she could -a plastic flamingo if you’re curious- she looked out her door and saw... nothing. As she let out a sigh of relief she suddenly heard a knock at her door, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin. After she got her heart back under control, she went to the door once more and found a stallion standing outside it. 
        
        “Hello, I was taking a walk and I noticed that your wagon was minus a wheel.” The stallion said, “I was wondering if you wanted any help with that.”

        “Who are you?” Trixie asked the strange stallion. 

        “I am Card.” The stallion said. “Who are you?”

        “I am T-” Trixie stopped herself ’I can’t let this stallion know that the Great and Powerful Trixie had travel issues! My reputation would be ruined!

        “Yes?” Card said impatiently.

        “Lulamoon. My name is Lulamoon.” Trixie said cautiously. 

        “Well Lulamoon, do you want some help or not?”

        “That would be appreciated.” Trixie admitted, “I have run out of spare wheels for this thing.”

        “Really?” Card said as he looked her wagon over, “You didn’t restock on them?”

        “Don’t have enough money.”

        “Shame.” Card then took a bottle of glue out of his jacket and glued the pieces of the broken wheel together. “There, that should hold long enough for you to reach Ponyville. When you get there ask for a pony named Applejack, she owes me a favor, and tell her Card sent you. she should be able to give you some of her spare wheels.” Card finished attaching the wheel to the wagon and then turned back to face Trixie. “So, Lula, do you know how to reach Ponyville?”

        “Yeah, I was actually headed there when this happened.” Trixie said as she re-hitched herself to the wagon. “Thanks for your help. Why did you help me anyway?”

        “Honestly?” Card got a bashful look on his face, “I was hiding from my paperwork and thought this would be a good way to keep myself away from it. Anyways, it’s not everyday that you come across someone in the Everfree forest.” Card then made his goodbyes and left as Trixie started heading once more towards Ponyville.


-----Later at the library-----


        Card walked up to Twilight’s door and attempted to open it, only to find that he couldn’t. For the first time since she had moved here, Twilight had actually locked her front door. Confused by this event, though by no means discouraged, Card knocked. When that failed to yield better results, he did the next logical thing and decided to go in through an open window. What he saw inside was a huge mess of books, one very tired looking baby dragon, and a frantic Twilight Sparkle who was currently in the process of doing what looked like attempting five spells at once. Deciding that this show would be more interesting if he knew the background story, he went over to the tired Spike.

        “What’s wrong with her?” Card asked with a jerk of his head towards Twilight.

        “...How did you get in?” Spike asked.

        “Magic. Now what’s wrong?” Card said. Spike made a motion like he was about to argue, but then decided he was too tired to care.

        “Well, it all started this morning.”


-----Spike’s Flashback-----


        Good morning Spike,” said Twilight as she came into the kitchen. “How are you today?”

        “Fine Twilight, but this letter came in for you today.” Spike handed the letter over to Twilight “It’s from Princess Celestia.”

        Twilight took one look at the letter, and immediately started to freak out. She ran off into the library and yelled “I forgot to study!!!!


-----End of Flashback-----


        “I took a look at the letter and it turns out it was a list of spells that Celestia wanted Twilight to learn and she hadn’t finished learning the last batch.” Spike said as he turned to look at Card, “Ever since then she’s been studying nons-- Where did you get that popcorn?” He asked.

        Card decided to ignore that last part and, in between mouthfuls, said, “That doesn’t sound like Twilight. She’s been very good about reading all the books I leave her, and I would think that she would apply at least that level of conviction to her studies.”

        “That’s the problem,” Spike said “You’ve been taking up so much of her brainpower with your discussions on those books, that she’s completely forgotten to spend time on Celestia’s studies.”

        “Really? Is she that unused to having someone to talk with?” Card shook his head sadly before saying, “Either way, I think she’s almost done. She’s slowing down.” Card proved to be right as Twilight soon called Spike over and said that she just had one last spell to test on him. Despite his best efforts to get away, Spike ended up caught and had the spell - a growth spell - cast on him making him grow a mustache. Upon seeing his new lip-fur, he started to talk with Twilight about how it would make Rarity, a mare that Card still had yet to meet for the record, fall in love with him. Card, having learned by now to tune Spike out whenever he mentioned Rarity, turned his attention to finishing his popcorn.

        Soon however, there came a knock at the door. Spike opened it and, after a brief argument with the two strangely proportioned colts who knocked, ran off into the town square to see a magic show they were talking about. Twilight made to go to bed, only to be stopped by Card.

        “Card,” Twilight said, “Let me go, I’m sleepy.”

        “No, you’re too wired from all the studying.” Card said, “You need to relax, and a magic show is good for that. Besides, you can’t tell me that you’re not the least bit curious about this greatly powerful unicorn?”

        “Fine,” Twilight said with a sigh, “Let’s go.” As they headed out Twilight said, “I wonder if the magician could teach me some of their tricks?”

        Card replied with, “I wonder how that growth spell made Spike get a mustache? Dragons don’t have hair follicles on their lips.”

        “No, I met a sea serpent who had a mustache,” Twilight rebutted.

        “That was a sea serpent, they’re different.”

        “They can’t be that different”



-----One discussion about serpent interspecies genetic relations later-----


        “Look, we’re getting nowhere with this,” Twilight said. “Let’s just look it up when we get back to Golden Oaks.”

        “Back to where?” Card asked.

        “That’s the name of the library.”

        “That place has a name?” Card said incredulously. Twilight ignored him as she was noticed by her friends and they called her over.

        “Yo, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash called, “Over here!” Twilight went over to her friends and Card followed her. As Card got closer, Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed and she said, “I don’t believe anypony invited you over.” 

        “It’s a free country and this is a public place,” Card said as he settled down next to Twilight. “If you have a problem with being near me, then you can leave.”

        “Why don’t you-” Rainbow Dash said as she flared her wings in an attempt to be more intimidating, only to be brought down by Applejack grabbing her tail.

        “Now, now Dashie,” Applejack said as she attempted to play peacekeeper, “He ain’t hurting nopony.”

        “Thank you Jackie.” Card said with a grateful nod, before bringing his attention to the wagon in front of all of them. “That looks familiar.” he muttered.

        “What was that?” Twilight asked

        “When does the show start?” Card asked

        Rarity decided to respond, curious about this stallion who seemed to be familiar with her friends. “It should start-”

        “Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” This declaration was met with cheers and applause from those assembled, including Card, as the mare they had been waiting for took center stage.

        “Now apparently.” said Rarity, miffed at a stallion’s attention being stolen from her so easily.


-----You’ve all seen this scene before, but what about from Trixie’s perspective-----


        As Trixie’s usual introduction was met with it’s usual reaction, she experienced that same mixture of anticipation and dread that she always felt when she set hoof on stage. Ok, so far so good. Let’s see how loud I can make them cheer 

        “Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!” And cue fanfare spell. The spell went off without a problem, as it always did, and Trixie took some time to look over her audience to gauge their reactions. Looks good, looks good. Those ponies with the dragon over in that section seem rather displeased though, but that red-headed orange stallion seems to be- Wait red-headed orange stallion? Trixie took a closer look at the stallion in question. Blue tips, brown jacket, that’s him! What is he doing here?! Trixie let off numerous minor spells as she tried to calm herself, It doesn’t matter, he seems to be enjoying it and it doesn’t look like he’s connected me with the mare he saw in the forest. What to do about those hecklers though? A-ha! 

        “Well, well, well” Trixie said with all the ham she could muster, “It seems we have some naysayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?” Better use some more fanfare to liven it up a bit more. Suddenly one of the mares, the rainbow-maned pegasus, opened her mouth to challenge Trixie.

        “So, ‘Great and Powerful Trixie’, What makes you think you’re so awesome anyways?”

        Bingo!, Trixie thought. Now what story to use? The manticore? The hydra? Ah, I know! Trixie responded to rainbow heckler with, “Heh, why, only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded Ursa Major!” Upon those words leaving her muzzle, the crowd went nuts with gasps of shock and cheers of admiration. Perfect.

        Trixie nodded her head in false modesty as she elaborated on her story. “When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic, vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!” This declaration was met with even more rapturous applause. Trixie let that die down as she planned out her next move. Let’s see, they’re all grouped around that lilac unicorn but she doesn’t seem to be all that into insulting me. If I call her out, then one of the others will probably take me up on it. Let’s try it.

        “It’s true, my enthusiastic little admirers!” Trixie said with a laugh, “Trixie is certainly the best in Ponyville!” Cue cricket spell aaaand, perfect! Those three look like they’re about to burst! Should just take a little more.

        “Don't believe the Great and Powerful Trixie?” she said with more laughter, “Well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians -- anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone? Hmm? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!?” There we go, now to present the challenge.

        “Hmmm, how about... You!” Trixie pointed at the lilac mare. Cue music. Oh this is gonna be fun!




-----Now back to Card and Twilight!-----




        Throughout Trixie’s performance so far, Card had been alternating his attention between: the show being put on by Trixie, the one being put on by Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Spike, and some white mare whose name he didn’t know, keeping Twilight from passing out, and finishing his popcorn. Suddenly, however, two of those things merged as Applejack clambered onto Trixie’s stage and took her up on her challenge. 

        “Can your magical powers do this?” Applejack asked as she did some very impressive lasso tricks, finishing off her performance by grabbing an apple of a tree that was apparently just growing in the town square. Trixie trumped her however, by lassoing an apple that had quickly grown in the exact same spot as the last one, along with Applejack, all without touching the rope. Or at least that’s what it would have seemed like to an untrained eye. After Applejack came off the stage, first Rainbow Dash, then that white mare whose name he didn’t know, tried to take Trixie down a peg. All to no avail for Trixie seemingly kept on beating them at their own games, trash-talking them all the while. However, when Spike tried to get Twilight to go up on stage she made an excuse that her laundry was calling her, which ranked up there with some of the worst excuses Card had ever heard, especially considering that Twilight didn’t wear clothes. After she bolted, Trixie seemed to decide that her show was over and started passing her hat around for money, as street performers are wont to do. After tossing a few bits in, Card went off after Twilight to make sure she didn’t collapse in the middle of the street out of exhaustion, and a good thing he did too because when he caught up with her she was barely standing. 

        “So Twinkly,” Card said as he draped one of her legs over his shoulder, “What did you think of the magic show? Personally I thought it was great.”

        Twilight seemed pretty out of breath, but managed to force out, “She was definitely talented, but the way she was showing off seemed a bit much.”

        “What do you mean ‘Showing off’?” Card asked.

        “Well all of the boasting, and the over-the-top declarations,” Twilight clarified, “And the way she humiliated Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity seemed a bit mean.”

        “Well, yeah she was pretty hammy, but I thought it was quite fun. She definitely knew what she was doing, and as for the showing off… well, what did you expect?” Card said, “She was after all, putting on a show. Besides, if anyone was out of line it was those three for the way they disrespected her.”

        Twilight seemed like she had a retort for that, but before she could get it out she fell asleep. Card gave her sleeping form an amused look before slinging her across his back and going the rest of the way to the library that apparently had a name.



-----Let’s go back to Trixie, shall we-----



        Finally, those two have left. Trixie thought as she went back into her wagon, having finally gotten the two strange colts to leave. Still, it was nice to be hero-worshiped for a while. Oh well, now that that’s all over, I can kick back and count how many bits the nice ponies gave me. Trixie reached for her hat and began to pull it out before she was interrupted by a knock at her door. Oh great, those two are probably back. Trixie thought with derision as she went to her door.

        “Look you two, The Great and Powerful Trixie is very tired right now so-”

        “I’m afraid there’s only one of me here. Also, I can see why you introduced yourself to me as Lulamoon. The Great and Powerful Trixie is a bit hard to say in casual conversation.” Trixie looked up and saw the stallion who had helped her out when she was in the forest standing above her with a little smirk on his face. “Hello again.”

        “Hello” Trixie said with a certain degree of surprise. “Thanks again for the help with the wheel earlier. If you don’t mind me being rude, why are you here now?”

        “Well, actually I am here for three reasons.” Card admitted. “The first is because I’m still trying to put off doing my paperwork for as long as possible.” Trixie gave a little chuckle. “The second is to congratulate you on doing some of the best illusionary magic I have ever seen.”

        Trixie was shocked. What? How did he figure out that I was using Illusions? “What do you mean?” She asked nervously, “All of the magic I used was one-hundred percent physical magic.” 

        “Oh come on,” Card said dismissively. “Don’t hide your talent behind a lie.”

        “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Trixie said fidgeting all the while. I put so much effort into that!

        “Why are you so ashamed of it anyways? With how you act on stage, you’d think you would be bragging far and wide about it, as opposed to that fake Ursa Major story.”

        He knows about that too? How? Trixie thought.

        Card sighed and said, “Look, don’t worry, I’m not going to ruin your reputation. I don’t even want anything from you.” 

        Trixie couldn’t see any reason for her not to trust him, and her curiosity was getting the better of her, so she admitted it. “Yes, I use illusions in my shows. Yes, I made up the story about the Ursa Major. How did you figure it out though?” she asked.

        “Well it’s a bit a long story, so would you mind letting me in?”

        “Oh, where are my manners. Of course.” Trixie waved him into her wagon.

        “Wow,” Card said as he entered her wagon to find the inside was much bigger than the outside seemed to suggest. “New model?

        “Fairly new, This ones been amped to be about twice the size of the previous,” Trixie said as she closed the door behind her. “Now, how did you figure out that I was using illusions and that I was lying about the Ursa Major?”

        “I’ll start with the simplest. The Ursa Major thing I had my suspicions about due to the fact that if someone had taken down an Ursa Major, I would probably have read about it. The illusions, however, were much harder to figure out.” Card then sat down and seemed to collect his thoughts for a bit. “Let’s go in order, shall we. For what you did with Applejack I figured out when you somehow managed to pull the exact same apple out of a tree that she did, along with the fact that the other you you made to distract everyone while you were tying Jackie’s hooves up had no shadow. How did you do that same apple thing anyway?”

        “I knew I shouldn’t have taken the easy way out,” Trixie mused. “What I did was simply bring up your memory of her pulling the apple out and used my magic to make it seem so vivid until it appeared to be happening again.”

        “That’s amazing!” Card said. “You have enough control to do that over a whole crowd.”

        “Yes, yes I know,” Trixie said with a hint of a blush on her face. It’s been so long since somepony’s complimented me on things I’ve actually done. “How did you figure out the other two?”

        “Well with Rainy I noticed that her yells never seemed to get any softer, like she was always the same distance away. Masterful work by the way, putting her so deeply in the illusion that she even felt all the sensations,” Card said offhand. “But all the effort it took to do it probably tired you out, so that explains why I detected the illusion you put on that white mare so easily.”

        “Why? I thought I did that perfectly, and it’s not exactly a challenging illusion,” Trixie said confused.

        “You did do it perfectly,” Card assured her, “But the second everybody’s attention was turned back to you, you dispelled the illusion and I managed to catch a glimpse of her normal hair as she ran off. So yeah, that’s how I knew.” Card then stood up and made to leave, only to be stopped by a cry of,

        “Wait,” from Trixie, who was enjoying the first conversation she had had in months without having to speak in third-pony or constantly worrying about impressing somepony.

        “Yes?” Card asked.

        “Umm...” Trixie went as she tried to think of an excuse to keep the stallion here. What to say, what to say... A-ha! “You said that you had three things to talk to me about, what’s the third?” she asked.

        “Oh yeah,” Card said as he slapped his hoof against his forehead, “I almost forgot. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go get those new wheels I told you you could get from someone who owed me a favor. Do you?” Card asked.

        Trixie took a minute to puzzle through everything he just said before realizing that she could finally get those new wheels she desperately needed. She grabbed him by the hoof and all but threw him out her door, herself following closely after. “Let’s go!” she said enthusiastically. 

        “Okay, calm down.” Card said with a chuckle. “It’s a-ways away and you’re heading the down the wrong direction. Here,” he said with a gesture, “It’s this way.”

        “Okay,” Trixie said “Thanks for doing all this.”

        “Hey, anything to stay away from all of that paperwork,” Card said with a dead-serious look on his face.

        “You keep on talking about this paperwork of yours, what is it for anyways?” Trixie asked

        “Well you see, I need to fill it all out to be able to get an office here in town,” Card explained.

        “An office? What for?”

        “Well you see, I’m a psychiatrist and I need an office to meet up with my patients. In order to do that I need to fill out a bunch of stuff with the town hall, and I am really lazy,” Card admitted.

        “Oh,” Trixie said, then she understood the implications of what he said. “Wait, you’re a doctor? How old are you?” she said incredulously. 

        “I will never get tired of being asked that,” Card said with a satisfied smile on his face. “I’m 23. How old are you?”

        “I’m 20, and don’t change the subject!” Trixie exclaimed, “How are you a doctor?”

        “I did a lot of hard studying, and it all paid off. By the way, we have to go up this path.” Card pointed at a dirt road that branched off of the main one that they had been following. “Jackie’s apple stand should be this way if memory serves.”





-----At Applejack’s Apple Stand!-----




        Applejack was preparing to fold up her stall for the day and head home, when out of distance she saw two silhouettes heading towards her. Putting everything back into it’s place, she quickly put on what her little sister called her ‘Sales Smile’. As the silhouettes got closer she identified one of them as Card due to his distinct way of moving head around like crazy whenever he spoke, as he was doing right then to a unicorn. Assuming that the unicorn was Twilight, because who else had she ever seen Card with, she galloped up to greet them with a genuine smile on her face.

        “Howdy Twil-” However, when Applejack got a better look at the unicorn, the smile fell from her face as she identified her as the unicorn who had made all those boasts on stage earlier that day. “Oh,” she said icily. “It’s you. Have y’all come to brag some more?”

        Before Trixie could respond with her own jab, Card decided to cut in. “Now, now, Jackie play nice. Trixie happens to be a friend of mine. Either way, I didn’t come here to start a catfight. I came here to collect on that debt you owe me.”

        “You want that cider? Here.” Applejack went over to her stall and pulled out a jug from beneath it. “Now take that Great and Powerful windbag away.”

        “Oh no, Jackie,” Card said as he shook his head. “I don’t want cider. You see, Trixie here has been having some problems with her wagon wheels, and she’s run out of replacements for the broken ones. I was wondering if you could give her some of your spares.”

        “Can’t she just magic herself up a new one?” Applejack sarcastically asked.

        Card made a move to answer only to be pushed aside by Trixie. “What is your problem?” Trixie asked Applejack. “I can understand you and your friends heckling me at my show, that’s your right as my audience, but why are you being so rude to me now? I haven’t done anything to you.”

        “You haven’t done anything?!” Applejack looked shocked. “What do you call hog-tying me and stuffing an apple down my throat!”

        “I call it ‘Dealing with a mare who was disrupting my show!’”

        Sensing the two mares were about to come to blows, Card stepped in between them and said, “Look, Trixie you did go a bit far in dealing with Jackie and the others, and you should apologize for that.” Card whirled around to face Applejack, “However, you are not blameless either. What would you do if somebody came up to your cart in the middle of the day, and just started to insult you and your apples for no reason?”

        Applejack thought it over. Ah’d tell ‘em to buck off ‘fore I buck them straight back to Ponyville. Applejack let out a sigh and said, “Y’all are right, and ah know to admit it when ah’m wrong.” She turned to Trixie and gave her apology. “Ah’m sorry for insulting y’all like that during your show.” Applejack extended a hoof to her, “Can y’all forgive me?”

        Trixie got a shocked look on her face, “O- of course,” she said as she hesitantly reached out to shake Applejack’s hoof, “I’m sorry for how far I went to try and teach you a lesson.”

        “No worries.” Applejack then turned back to her cart, calling out behind her as she did so. “Ah’ve got to get all o’ this back to the farm. If you’d follow me, ah can give you those spare wheels.”

        “Thank you.” Trixie called out as she went to the cart as well, “Let me help you with that.”

        “Thanks.” Applejack felt her earlier smile return to her face as she worked on breaking down her stall. As for Card, he stood there with a satisfied smile on his face thinking his thoughts until the cart was all put away and Applejack took them to the farm.




-----I wonder what Twilight was doing during all of this time. Let’s find out!-----




        Twilight had awoken to find herself in her bed and upon getting out she noticed that her number one assistant was nowhere to be found. Where could Spike be? she wondered, Usually he’s right by my bedside whenever I pass out. I hope he didn’t go off to harass Rarity again. Twilight shook her head as she realized that that’s probably exactly what he went off to do. She started to head out her door to go get Spike from Rarity’s when suddenly the dragon in question burst into the library like the hounds of Tartarus were after him. The first thought that passed through her mind? Oh dear Celestia, what did he try to do?! 

“Okay Spike,” Twilight said cautiously, “Where did you touc-”

        *ROOOAARRR!*

        “Please tell me that wasn’t what I think it was?” Twilight asked Spike.

        “Ursa- *gasp* Major-” Spike confirmed as he caught his breath. “It’s in the town square.”

        Twilight rushed out of her house and dashed to the town square. When she got there she saw two strangely proportioned colts banging on Trixie’s wagon, along with a very angry Ursa... Minor. Oh thank Celestia, I can probably handle this. I just need a plan. While Twilight was thinking, the Ursa Minor-




-----Who will be referred to as Uri from now on.-----




… Really? Okay, sure, whatever. Anyways, while Twilight was thinking, Uri was getting annoyed at the sound of constant banging on the wooden wagon door. In his rage, Uri attacked the wagon and smashed it, with the two colts just barely making it out in time.

        Okay, I’ve got it! Twilight finished thinking of her plan and snapped out of her deep thought to see a broken wagon before her. I hope that’s insured against wild celestial animal attacks. She then kicked her plan off. Ok, first up is number sixteen.




-----You all know how the scene goes, let’s just get back to Card and Trixie as they headed back to Ponyville with Applejack-----




        “So then, the old idiot tried to steal my hat.” Trixie was telling her new friends about some funny occurrences that had happened to her during her other shows. “He burst onto the stage and-”

        *ROOOAARRR!*

        “What was that!?” Trixie asked.

        “Ah don’t know, but it came from Ponyville!” Applejack tore off down the path towards the village, hoping that she could help stop whatever it was that was happening.

        Card, meanwhile, decided to answer Trixie’s question. “It sounded like an Ursa Minor.” he said.

        An Ursa Minor! In town? Why? Trixie thought, when she heard some mutterings coming from Card, who seemed to be deep in thoughts of his own.

        “...but if the baby’s awake,...” he mummbled.

        “What was that?” Trixie asked Card, “I couldn’t hear you.”

        Card gave a jolt, like he had forgotten that there was anyone else around then said, “I said, ‘You should probably go with Jackie.’ She might need your help.” 

        Trixie turned to follow Applejack, but noticed that Card was going in another direction. After some brief hesitation, she decided that Applejack and her friends could probably take care of it themselves, cast a light bending illusion on herself, and followed Card on his path. After following him for about five minutes, they came to the edge of Everfree Forest. Trixie hesitated, but, after seeing Card walk in, continued stalking him straight into the Everfree. What she saw at the end of his walk, she almost couldn’t believe. 

        “Look, I understand that you’re upset that you’ve been woken up and your cub has run off. However, I cannot let you go into the city,” Card said to the HUGE URSA MAJOR HE WAS STANDING IN FRONT OF! “Rest assured, the ones who did it will be punished and your cub will return to you by sunrise.”

        The Ursa Major gave a low growl.

        “You have my word. Thank you for your cooperation.” Card bowed to the beast and then headed back along the path he took to get in the forest. After Trixie took her jaw off the ground, she rushed along the same path to try and get to Ponyville before he did, all the while What was that? Kept on looping through her head. 

Due to the fact that she was running while Card seemed to be going at a leisurely jog, she made it to Ponyville just in time to see Uri being airlifted out while he was suckling on a jug of some kind. Following the residual trail of magical energy to it’s source, she saw Applejack talking with the ponies she was with at her show, along with...




-----I cast focus shift on Twilight Sparkle-----




        “Heavens to betsy!” Applejack said to Twilight upon seeing her airlift Uri out of town. “We knew you had ability but not that much!”

        “I’m sorry. Please, please don’t hate me.” Twilight plead.

        “Hate you?” came unanimously from Applejack, Rainbow dash, and Rarity, with the latter following up on it with, 

        “Why, whatever do you mean, darling?” 

        Whatever response Twilight would have had to that, we will never know, for at that very moment...

        “AHHHH!!!!” Trixie screamed as she saw the splintered wreck that once was her wagon.

        “What is it?” Twilight started turning around in panic, “Is the Ursa Minor back?” Upon seeing that there were no star bears anywhere around, she focused her attention on the source of the scream. She found the sound to be coming from an azure mare, who was staring at the pile of wood that was the wagon that Uri attacked. Oh yeah. I guess from her scream that she doesn’t have that insurance after all. Twilight came closer to the mare in order to attempt to comfort her, but as she drew near she noticed that the mare in question was the Great and Powerful Trixie. Not that that would have been a problem, if it wasn’t for the fact that Rainbow Dash had seen her too.

        “HAHAHA!” Rainbow Dash’s reaction was... less than polite. “Looks like you’re not so great and powerful after all. Where were you when Twilight dealt with that Ursa Major? Probably hiding.”

        Rarity, being the observant mare she was, cut herself off from joining in on Rainbow’s taunts when she noticed that Trixie wasn’t responding. Rather, she was still looking at the pile of wood, quietly muttering, “no, no, no” to herself.

        “Rainbow, darling,” Rarity said, “I don’t think now is the time...”

        “I bet that you sent that Ursa Major into town to try and show off even more,” Rainbow Dash continued, paying Rarity no heed.

        “Actually, she was with me.” Applejack said as she tried to shut her friend up. “Card brought her over to get some more wheels.” Applejack took one more look at the pile of wood, “Though I think she’ll need a bit more then those now.”

        “I knew all of that bragging was just hot air!” Rainbow continued on, ignoring her friends, preferring to deride the mare who beat her. She probably would have continued if it wasn’t for the fact that Applejack chose to lasso her muzzle closed while Twilight went over to Trixie.

        “Uhhm...” Twilight struggled to think of a good way to comfort her. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

        Trixie finally managed to break out of here shock enough to ask, “How? What?”

        “The Ursa Minor who was attacking earlier took a swing at it.” Twilight said. She tried to put a smile on her face. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s not as bad as it looks. Maybe it can be fixed.”

        “Yes, darling.” Rarity decided to try to help out. “I’m sure that with a bit of work it’ll be good as new in no time!”

        “Everything I owned was in that wagon.” Trixie said, sounding like she was about to cry.

        “Maybe some things survived?” Applejack said after she finished tying Rainbow Dash up.

        “No, no, you don’t understand.” Trixie said. “That wasn’t an ordinary wagon. That was a compression model.”

        Applejack tilted her head in confusion, looking a question at an aghast Twilight.

        “A compression wagon is one that is bigger on the inside then the outside.” Twilight explained. “Everything in it is put in a pocket space, so that several things can fit in it. But if that’s the case, then why didn’t anything rematerialise?”

        “When the object binding a pocket space is destroyed, the pocket space is destroyed along with it.” Trixie explained, trying to distract herself from what happened. “Now I have no money, no food, and no house!” Trixie once more looked close to tears. “What am I going to do?” she sobbed.

        Everypony around her felt a surge of sympathy, even Rainbow Dash, who had been listening to the conversation while she struggled against her bindings, felt bad. While they all tried to think of ways to help, Card finally came back into town. 

        “Hey guys.” Card looked at all the downcast faces. “Whoa, who died?”

        “Hey Card,” Twilight said to her friend. “Nopony died, but in the Ursa Minor attack, Trixie’s wagon got smashed. Now she’s lost everything.”

        “Really?” Card said with an intrigued look and a devious smirk. “Interesting.” He walked over to the crying mare. “Yo, Trixie.”

        “What?!” she snapped. “Oh, it’s you. Sorry.”

        “No problem, perfectly understandable. Look, do you want some help?” Card offered.

        Trixie was tempted, how could she not be, but her pride got in the way. “I don’t want your charity!” she exclaimed.

        “Who said anything about charity?” Card asked. “I’m not that generous.”

        “Then what do you mean.”

        “I’m offering you a job as my secretary,” he explained. “I’ll pay you twenty bits an hour for the first two weeks, with a possible raise after you’ve settled in. In exchange: you’ll do my all my paperwork, run reception at my office after I get one, along with any other little errands I don’t feel like doing myself.”

        Trixie was shocked, as was everypony else. Twenty bits per hour was a decent amount of money, why would Card be throwing out that much on a mare he had just met that day. The one who actually voiced her disbelief was, surprisingly, Rarity.

        “Darling, what are you thinking?” she asked. “Even I’m not that generous.”

        “Ah agree, where would you even get all that money?” Applejack added, throwing in her two cents.

        “I’m a doctor,” Card said in a voice like you would use to talk to a small child, “We tend to make a good bit of money. Speaking of, are there any houses for rent in this town? I can’t very well have my secretary sleeping out on the street, what kind of image would that send?”

        “Yeah, there are a few houses for rent near the south end of town,” Applejack said. “Y’all’d havta talk to Mayor Mare about renting them though.”

        “Well okay then, it’s settled,” Card said with an air of finality, turning to Trixie. “At least, it will be if you agree to this arrangement. Do you?”

        Trixie was speechless. “Yes, o- of course,” she forced out, only to ask, “But why?”

        “Hmm?” Card was busy looking at some prints next to the pile of wood. “What was that?”

        “Why are you helping me?”

        “You severely underestimate just how much I hate, hate, HATE paperwork,” Card said. “Now then, Jackie, if you wouldn’t mind could you take Trixie to the Mayor’s office and get that rental business started?” he asked.

        “Sure thing,” Applejack said as she walked over to Trixie. “Come on sugarcube, town hall is that way.” 

        “Oh wait, I almost forgot,” Card said as he pulled a bag out of his jacket. As he tossed it to Trixie, he said “That should be 4000 bits Trixie, consider it an advance on your first couple weeks salary. Be careful with it, I won’t pay you any more until you’ve worked all of them back. Take tomorrow off to get familiar with the town, but the day after I expect you to meet me at the office. It’s at 1870 Forestview St. and Sloat boulevard.”

        Trixie felt her heart swell. “Thank you!” she yelled as she and Applejack walked off, “Thank you so much! Good night!”

        “Yeah, good night.” Card waved them off. While he was doing this, Rarity came over to Twilight and whispered in her ear.

        “You’ve found yourself a good stallion there. You should be careful somepony doesn’t steal him from you.” Rarity then straightened out and said out loud, “It’s getting late, and I must get my beauty sleep. Good night!” 

        Twilight’s tongue had decided to start training for the Equestrian National Yoga Tournament. She only snapped out of it when Card came over to her and started talking.

        “Okay, two things,” he said. “First, why is Rainy tied up?”

        “Oh dear Celestia!” Twilight rushed over to her friend and began to untie her, apologizing all the while. When she finished, Rainbow Dash thanked her and flapped off, yelling good night as she did so.

        “Okay, that doesn’t answer me, but I guess it doesn’t matter any more.” Card shook his head. “Anyways, the other thing is I need to know who awakened Uri to begin with.”

        “Who?” Twilight asked.

        “The Ursa Minor, who woke him up? They’re in serious trouble.” As Card said this, he stuck a hoof out behind him and tripped the two colts who were trying to run away. When they got back up, they found a pair of hooves holding them. “I assume it was you two?”

        “Yes, yes, we’re sorry, we’re sorry.” Snips and Snails blubbered in unison. “We just wanted to see the Great and Powerful Trixie do her magic personally. We didn’t mean to cause so much trouble.”

        “Really?” Card said

        “Yes, really!” 

        “Well, since you’re minors I guess I can let you off easy this time,” Card said as he let the two of them go.

        “Thank you, thank you!”

        “But,” Card said threateningly, “You must promise me that you will never set foot in the Everfree forest, or bother Trixie, ever again. Do. You. Understand.” With each syllable, Card switched his glare between the two of them.

        “Yes, yes never again.” They swore up and down, and then ran off as fast as their legs could take them.

        Twilight looked down the dust cloud that the two colts had left behind, and then turned to Card saying, “Don’t you think you were a little hard on them?”

        “Nah, the official penalty that the two would have gotten for entering the lair of an Ursa Major is way worse,” Card said dismissively, “A few months imprisonment if they were lucky.”

        “A few months!?” Twilight said, “Just for going into a cave?”

        “Yeah. That was incredibly dangerous, and there are ponies who get off on doing things like that. If we don’t punish them harshly, then more will try to do it, and a lot of them would get hurt. Possibly killed.” Card explained.

        “Okay, I guess that makes sense,” Twilight said doubtfully. “I’ve gotta head home.”

        “Yeah, so do I.” Card let out a sigh.

        “What’s wrong?” 

        “I just realized, if I start to work here, really work, office and all, we probably won’t be able to hang out at the library so much.”

        “Oh.” Twilight felt downcast, as the fact that she wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with her friend anymore sunk in.

        “Well, at least it’s only five days a week. And hey, now we have someone else to talk to as well.” Card tried to look on the brightside. “Trixie seems smart, and I know she likes to read. Having a third perspective in our discussions will be fun.”

        “Yeah, you’re right,” Twilight said, feeling a small smile come over her face. “Good night Card.”

        “Good night Twinkly.” The two friends went their separate ways.













What do you think of my version of Trixie


ursa minors are bears made out of stars right?


Howdy. no complaints so far, so no worries.


Hi dude


> Interlude: What Card did during Dragonshy
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Card woke up and started up his daily morning routine. He got himself out of bed, fixed himself some cereal, made himself some klava, and then went out to take a short walk while he enjoyed his drink. However, upon exiting his house Card noticed an ominous fog of black smoke was coming down from the mountains, and covering up the sky. When he saw this, he took a sip of his drink, smacked his lips a few times, and then tore off straight-

        “Fuck that, I’m on vacation.” 

        Back into his house? What are you doing?

        “Huh? What was that? Oh hey N, how’s it going?” Card said as he turned around, looking in all directions. He seemed to be talking to himself.

        “Oh come on man, don’t be like that. I’m the only one here. Well okay, Ike’s here but I mean, come on, it’s Ike. He can’t exactly tell anyone.”

        How can you even hear me? You’re not that far along yet.

        “You know how flimsy the walls are here, Jackie could probably catch a whisper and she’s the most orderly pony I know. Now then, how’s Maria?”

        She’s fine, now tell me why you’re not going after that smoke!

        “Because I’m on vacation. Besides, if I’m right, then it’s out of my jurisdiction anyways.”

        What do you mean?

        “Look, what kind of smoke is that?”

        You know I can’t tell you that.

        “Look N, just do it to confirm, just this once. Please? For me?”

        Hhhhhhhhhhhnn fine. It’s Dragon smoke.

        “Yeah that’s what I thought. That makes this a diplomatic matter, which puts it firmly outside my jurisdiction. Besides, if it was anything serious the old fogy would’ve sent Silver or Shade by now.”

        Yeah, but still. Twilight and her friends are going up there, don’t you want to protect them?

        “Twinkly’s a big girl, and so are her friends. Look if you want to pester me, then at least make yourself useful. Help me decide how much of a raise to give her. The two weeks have passed and she’s done some fabulous work!”

        Really? Like what?

        “Like the fact that her control over her magic is so fine, probably from all the delicate illusions she uses, that she can keep track of, and fill out, TEN pieces of paper at once. It’s amazing to watch, she doesn’t even use pens.”

        What do you mean?

        “She just takes ten little ink balls and rolls them around the paper, using her magic to lift them up every so often.”

        Isn’t that horribly inconvenient though?

        “Yeah, but she still does all ten sheets faster than I could do one! When I asked her about it, she said that it was something she used to do to improve her control, and she just got so used to it, and it looked so impressive, that she just uses it now as her standard form of writing.”

        She seems pretty on the ball. You’re paying her 20 bits a day, 5 days a week right now right?

        “Yeah, I was thinking of raising it to 25. What do you think?”

        Nah, with how good you say she’s done you should show her more appreciation. Make it 27.

        “Yeah, I can work with that.”

        Sweet. How’s Trixie doing anyways?

        “Actually a lot better than I thought.”

        Really? How?

        “Well she’s getting on fantastically with Twinkly. When they start talking about magic, It gets so incomprehensible that I just ignore them.”

        It can’t be that bad.

        “Let me put it this way. It’s the type of talk that Tron would have whenever he gets excited.”

        Oh god!

        “Yeah, you understand now don’t you.”

        Yeesh. But they get along then? Even without you making her read those silly books of yours.

        “They are not silly! But yeah, they’re practically best friends by now. I’m almost jealous. Anyways, enough of this conversation, where’s Aoc? I like her, she’s quirky.”

        She’s off enjoying the spring break. That’s why we can’t just drop this conversation, we have no one to do the transition.

        “Glad to see you value my company so much. Anyway, next time you see her tell her I said hi. I’ve got to go get ready for Pie’s first appointment.”

        That’s today?!

        “No, it’s tomorrow. But I’ve got a lot to prepare for it, so if you don’t mind...”

        Okay, fine. I’ll have to be there for the session, you understand?

        “I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand.”

        Great! In that case, see you tomorrow.

        “I’d say see ya, but considering how far away from here we’ll be, I shouldn’t.

        Right. Bye.

        “Bye,” And with that Card went all the way back into his house, and fell asleep. Lazy bastard.

         “I heard that!”

> First Appointment
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “Okay, ma’am if you would just sign here, here, here, initial here, and stamp here,” the delivery mare said to Trixie. After Trixie had done so, the delivery mare stepped away, leaving only the long, wide, brown package at the door to the Card Psychiatric Offices. 

        I wonder what’s inside? Card didn’t mention a delivery today. Trixie thought as she dragged the package over to her desk. Then again, he also forgot to tell me about the paper shipment, my desk arriving, and the pizza delivery yesterday. Trixie rolled her eyes. I’ll just have to give it to him when he’s done. After putting the heavy box against the wall, Trixie went behind her desk and got back to doing the work she had been in the middle of before the delivery came. 

        Trixie had been working for Card as his secretary for a full two weeks now, and she had to admit that it was one of her better jobs. The workload, if a bit large, was fairly simple, made all the easier by her talent for focusing on multiple things at once. Certainly it gave her a lot of free time, and Card was nice enough to give her a lot of leeway to listen to music and read on the job so long as she finished all of her work by a certain time, and followed the three rules: Always be polite to the patients, always refer to him as Dr. Card in front of them, and always treat everypony who comes in for a meeting that you see on the street as though you have no idea they had ever been here.

        Overall it wasn’t a bad job, and the apartment that she had been able to get thanks to Applejack’s haggling was very nice for what she was paying monthly. Speaking of Applejack, she really helped Trixie recover from that bad first impression, to the point that she was able to call Rarity and Rainbow Dash, if not friends, then at least not enemies. That, along with the friendship she was able to strike up with Twilight over their studies of magic, went a long way towards making the little village feel more like a home to her. Certainly more than the lonely wagon had been.

        Okay, thats all of the papers for that patient filed, now then who’s the next one he’s seeing? Trixie went through the list of patients coming in today. Silver Spoon has already been here today, Roseluck has already visited, Colgate- she’s here right now, then up next is... Pinkie Pie? Trixie recognized the name of the bubbly pink mare who occasionally hung out  with her and Applejack. She hasn’t been here before. Why would she be coming here? She seems pretty mentally sound, if a touch quirky. Weird, looks like her appointment was the first one ever scheduled. I wonder why it took her this long to come in? Trixie shook her head, deciding that it’s none of her business. Anyways, Card’s current session should be ending right around-

        “Okay Ms. Colgate, I hope that you’ll be able to take my advice to heart,” Card said as he walked out of his meeting room with the light-blue unicorn he was meeting with. 

        Ah, speak of the devil.

        “Yes, thank you for listening Mr. Card,” the mare said.

        “Thank you for being willing to talk.” Card made a motion towards Trixie. “My secretary will help you set up your next appointment. Trixie,” he called.

        “Yes Dr.-” the mare -Colgate- flinched at hearing the word, “Card, I’ll get to work on that right away.” Trixie turned her attention away from the files and towards Colgate. “Now then, when would you like your appointment to be?”

        “In the afternoon would be nice...”

        “Okay, the next opening is-”

        While Trixie was setting up the appointment, Card fidgeted around the reception area, thinking about how he would tell her about the raise he was going to give her. While his eyes were wandering, he noticed the package that was leaning against the wall. After hearing Trixie wrap up the scheduling, and seeing Colgate leave he went over to her desk.

        “Trixie,” he said, “We’ve certainly had a lot of business haven’t we?”

        “Yes,” she agreed, “We can thank Applejack and her friends for making all those recommendations to the ponies they knew were going through rough patches.”

        “Yeah, they were definitely a big help, and so have you.”

        “Hmm?”

        “You remember what I said about giving you a raise after two weeks?”

        “Yes, yes I do.” Trixie was getting noticeably excited.

        “Well I decided to bump up your salary from 20 bits an hour up to 27.” Card smiled.

        “That’s so generous.” Trixie was beaming, “Thank you!”

        “Yeah, I’m awesome.” Card got a smug little smirk. “Now, I can do this in two ways. Either I give you those seven extra bits each day, or I take your full salary and put it towards paying off the advance I gave you, so instead of paying it off in two more weeks with a little bit of extra spending money, you pay it off in about eight days and then get paid in full. Which will it be?” He asked.

        “I guess...” Trixie thought for a little bit. “I guess I would rather pay it off quicker. I still have a good bit of that advance left, I can get by for another few days.”

        “Ok, excellent!” Card turned his attention to the box. “Quick question: How many more patients do I have today?”

        “Just the one,” Trixie said as she flipped through the files. I could really use a computer. she thought. Out loud she said, “Pinkie Pie actually, but I don’t remember ever arranging an appointment for her.”

        “Ah,” Card said as he opened up the box, “Yeah, I actually set that one up on my own.” Card let out a whoop as he finished opening the package. “Yes! The pool table’s finally here!”

        “The what?” Trixie asked, confused.

        “The pool table. You know, billiards?” Card explained, then pantomimed the action of striking a cue ball. “Pew, Pew?”

        “I know what a pool table is, I was asking what we need one here for.” Trixie took her turn to clarify.

        “Well we need it because it’s honestly a lot easier to get a grasp on somebody if you have an opportunity to see them focused. Not to mention that ponies feel more comfortable playing around then just sitting and talking to someone who they barely know.” 

        “Yeah, and that’s all you got it for,” Trixie said skeptically. 

        “You know me too well,” Card sighed, but with a grin. “I also just really like to play pool, and I didn’t feel like bringing one over from my house. This way we have something to do when it’s all slow.” Card then started to drag the box inside his office. “Now come on, help me set it up, then you can knock off early.”

        “Okay Card, whatever you say.” As she walked in, Trixie was already thinking about what she and Twilight would talk about today.




-----Hey I’m back from my Vaca dudes. Now then, let’s jet ahead to after they were done setting up the table.-----




        “Okay, so: cues?” Card listed off

        “Put together.” Trixie responded.

        “Balls?”

        “Set up and ready to break.”

        “Chalk?”

        “Placed.”

        “And the table is in the perfect place to not hinder me if anyone just wants to talk. Perfect.” Card was satisfied. “Ok, Trixie you can leave now.”

        “Are you sure?” Trixie asked as she was already heading towards the door.

        “You know I am.”

        “Yeah, that’s why I knew there was no harm in asking.”

        Card gave a short laugh. “Bye Trixie, I’ll meet up with you and Twinkly at Thousand- Golden- Honey nut-... The library. I’ll see you at the library in about an hour.

        “Okay, see you then.” Trixie waved goodbye and then was out the door towards her friends house.

        After Trixie left, Card spent a few minutes going through his appointments for tomorrow, staving off his boredom, until there came a knock at the door.

        “Finally.” he muttered under his breath as he opened it.

        “Hello Mr. Card,” said a nervous Pinkie Pie.

        “Please don’t call me Mr. Card,” Card said as turned around to show her to his office. “I can’t be that much older than you.”

        “Really?” Pinkie said as she bounced into his office. “How old are you?”

        “How old are you?” Card countered.

        “I’m 21!” Pinkie said with all the enthusiasm of a four year old holding up her fingers. 

        “Huh, interesting.” Card stopped walking and got into his big comfy chair. “I’m 23. Now then, let’s get over to business. First question, why didn’t your parents come with you? I thought they didn’t trust me,” Card asked.

        “My p- parents?” Pinkie had become nervous again.

        “Mr. and Mrs. Cake,” Card clarified.

        “They’re not my parents,” Pinkie said quietly as she looked everywhere but at Card. Card noticed this bizarre behavior and sighed.

        “What’s wrong?” he asked.

        “It’s those eyes. They keep on showing up in my dreams ever since you yelled at me,” Pinkie meekly said.

        “Well I won’t able to do much of anything if you’re too nervous to look at me Pie.” Card thought for a minute and then made a motion like he was trying to snap fingers he didn’t have. “Wait here,” he told Pinkie as he went over to his desk and started to rummage through the bottom drawers. “Aha!” he went as he emerged from behind the desk now wearing this,








And this.








        ...Needless to say, Pinkie was no longer nervous. In related news, Card was feeling somewhat self-conscious, probably due to the mare rolling around on his floor laughing at him.

        “A-hem.” Card cleared his throat and made an attempt to salvage his dignity. “So I take it that you’re no longer nervous?”

        “Yes. *tee-hee* I feel much better now.”

        “Great. Now if you don’t mind Pie, could you please answer a few questions before we start?”

        “Okie dokie lokie!” she said as she bounced around the rather spacious office.

        “Okay, first question,” Card said as he looked at his clipboard. “What is your full name?”

        “Pinkamena Diane Pie!”

        “Nice name,” Card tossed out offhandedly. “Question number the next: Where do you currently live?”

        “At SugarCube Corner!” *Boing, Boing, Boing*

        “Okay... Question number the final: Do you know how to play pool?” Card asked as he looked up from his pad.

        “I love to play in the pool! Especially when I have toys, and it’s hot, and I’ve been able to fill it up with whipped cream, except this one time I ran out of my supply so I had to take some of Mr. Cake’s whipped cream that he keeps in his and Mrs. Cake’s room that’s surprisingly full what with-”

        “No, no, no.” Card cut her off, shaking his head. “I meant the game with balls and sticks that you play on the table over there.” Card rose a hoof to point out the brand new table in question, with the balls already prepped and the cues leaned up against it.

        “OHHH!!!” Pinkie went as realization dawned in her eyes. “No I don’t. Is it fun?!”

        “Well I think so.” Card went over to the table and threw a cue to Pinkie. “Do you want to play? I can explain the rules as we go along.” His answer came in the form of nearly being knocked over by a bouncing Pinkie Pie.

        “I love to try new games!” she flounced. Flounced? Flounced.

        Card let out a sigh and and muttered, “You are going to make some future boyfriend very happy.”

        “What was that?!” Pinkie turned back to face him.

        “Nothing!” Card got a stricken expression. Crap, that was supposed to be in italics! 

        After recomposing himself, Card explained the rules of pool to Pinkie and started to ask her questions while they played.

        “So if the Cake’s aren’t your parents, then where are they?” Card said as he lined up his shot to take the 6-ball into the corner pocket.

        “They’re still living on the rock farm!” Pinkie managed to still be exuberant despite her intense concentration.

        “Oh? You grew up on a quarry?” Card asked, having decided to forgo his easy shot in favor of cutting her off. 

        “Yeppers!”

        “So, why did you decide to leave?” As soon as the question left Card’s lips, he could almost feel the temperature drop a degree, Celsius not Fahrenheit, and saw the face-splitting grin drop off of his patients face.Picking up on Pinkie’s discomfort he sighed and went over to her side. “Look, if you don’t want to talk about it yet, you don’t have to. I can understand if you feel uncomfortable telling someone who’s almost a complete stranger your life story.” He put a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder. Almost immediately the smile returned to her face and she took her shot, pushing her 12-ball closer to a pocket. Satisfied, Card went back around the table to sink; first the 3-ball, and then the 5-ball, meaning he now had two balls left to Pinkie’s five.

        “Wow!” Pinkie said. “I didn’t even notice those were open!”

        “Yeah, I figured,” Card said distractedly, as he missed his next shot, putting the cue ball right in the perfect position for Pinkie to get the 12-ball in.  “Damn!”

        “Yay!” Pinkie cheered. “My turn again!” Pinkie took and made the easy shot, but accidently sent the cue ball after it.

        “And that’s what we call a scratch,” Card said. “It means that now I can take the cue ball and put it anywhere I want on the table. Good thing too, we’re almost out of time and I should wrap this up.” With that said, Card switched pushing the cue to his dominant hoof. “8-ball, side pocket.”

        “Wait,” went a confused Pinkie, “I thought you said that you could only hit the black ball in after you took out all your other ones.”

        “Yeah. I did.” Card put the cue ball down, and lined up his shot. He fired the cue ball off towards the 6, bouncing it into the corner pocket and ricocheting the cue ball into the 8 which went straight into the side pocket. 

        “And that’s game,” he said with a satisfied smile. “Now then, before you leave I would like to give you a little assignment.

        “Okie dokie lokie!”

        “I would like you to, before our next meeting, figure out one thing about each of your friends that you don’t like about them,” Card said.

        “What? Why?” the confused Pinkie asked. “I like everything about my friends.”

        “If you like everything about someone, then you don’t know them well enough,” Card explained. “Really knowing someone, being their friend, is about seeing all their bad parts and liking them in spite of it. Besides, you seem to have a problem with focusing so much on one aspect of something that you ignore all it’s other parts.”

        “What do you mean?”

        “When we were playing pool, you didn’t notice that I had two shots perfectly lined up. You could have easily pushed one, or even both, out of the way, but instead you focused on getting the 12-ball closer to a place you could knock it in from. Your ignorance cost you the game.” 

        “By doing this,” he went on, “You’re forced to pay attention to something you would usually ignore, along with getting a deeper understanding of your friends.”

        Pinkie, still a bit confused, said, “O- okay. I guess. But-” Pinkie got a concerned look on her face.

        “But what?”

        “What if I don’t like what I learn,” Pinkie said in a very small voice, head tilled low. “What if I can’t keep on liking them. What then?” Pinkie almost seemed ready to cry. Card pushed her chin up and gave her a comforting smile.

        “Look,” he said encouragingly, “I understand why you’re worried, but trust me. I’m sure that you’re a good enough judge of character to not have picked up any bad ponies as friends. Besides, if you like them as much as you seem to, then I’m sure that nothing you could learn would change that.”

        Pinkie seemed to take a little comfort in his words, and agreed to the task. After scheduling an appointment for two weeks from now, Pinkie left.

        After making sure that everything was in order: the files were in place, the pool balls were all racked up, etc. etc., he closed up the office and went over towards Twilight’s library, looking forward to unwinding with his closest friends in Ponyville.
> On Screwing and Sleepovers (Part 1)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

         “Yeah, because there’s no way a pony would ever have sex with a robot,” Card said rolling his eyes, sarcasm so thick it’d take a chainsaw to cut through. “I mean: Animals, vegetables, rocks, things that vibrate, and conveniently sized holes sure, but a submissive android who looks exactly like a beautiful mare? Never!” Card took on a mock aghast look.

        “Well maybe he has some self-control,” Trixie shot back in defense of the book’s protagonist, “What do think Twilight?”

        “Uh- duh- mm-” Twilight was unfortunately unable to respond, due to her brain trying to process all of the imagery that Card just brought up, and her face flaring up because of each one to the point that there was some smoke coming off her horn. Card and Trixie took one at her predicament and did what any good friends would have done. They immediately put their hooves up on the table for balance to avoid falling due to excessive laughter. As Card’s laughs began to peter out to chuckles, he went off to the kitchen.

        “Where are you going?” Trixie asked in between laughs and gasps for air.

        “I’m going to go get some ice water and shove Twinkly’s horn in it.” Card responded.

        While he goes off to do that, it occurs to me that I should probably provide you with some context for what just happened. You see, it’s currently Friday afternoon and on Friday afternoons, Twilight, Trixie, and Card like to grab a random book off the shelves of the fiction section and take turns reading aloud from it, and comment on it as they go along. Today’s book was about a mere finding her husband after 5 years, on a far-away planet after one of his research expeditions lead to him being stranded there. While he was there he came across a mare android and with her help eked out a life in the desolate wasteland. When his wife found him, she thought he might have cheated on her, to which he responded by saying that since she’s an android, he would never sleep with her. This lead to Card’s earlier comment, which lead to an overheating Twilight Sparkle and a laughing Trixie Lulamoon. There, you get all of that? Good, because Card just came back into the room, balancing a cup of ice water on his head.

        “Trixie, a little help please?” Card called out. Trixie used her magic to levitate the cup over to Twilight and dump it onto her head.

        “You feel better?” Trixie said to a sputtering Twilight.

        “Yes, the feeling of ice all over my head felt just fantastic,” Twilight snarked, secretly relieved to have be shocked out of her trance, as she levitated a towel over. As she turned her head to put the towel on, she caught a flash of orange and white outside her window. As the towel dropped onto the floor, she rushed over to open her door and call her friends in from the storm. “Applejack! Rarity!” she yelled.

        “Jackie and who?” Card said as walked over to the door. Upon getting a good look, his eyes widened. “Holy shit!” he swore as he got a good look around, “Who put that picnic table there?! Oh, and also when did it start raining?” He got no answer to either of these questions, as Twilight was too busy herding her friends in through the door. 

        “Thank ya kindly for yer hospitality,” Applejack said courteously. “Oh howdy Trixie, Card.”

        Rarity turned towards Applejack and snottily said, “Uh, do be a polite house guest and go wash up please, won’t you?”

        As Applejack grumbled out a response to that and turned around to go hose her hooves off, Trixie got up and said, “I can help you out with that.”

        “Why thank y’all.” Applejack said, before shooting a glare at Rarity. “Good to know some ponies still care about others needs.” As her and Trixie both went outside, Twilight started to talk to Rarity about maybe her and Applejack staying over.

        “Oh,” Twilight said, remembering that she currently had company and turned to Card. “Of course you can stay too.”

        “Huh?” Card asked, having only half heard that. Most of his attention was still on figuring out how that picnic table got there.  “What was that?”

        “Would you like to spend the night?” Twilight asked.

        “Oh yeah, sure.” Probably got flipped all the way here from the picnic ground by an angry stallion with fantastic aim. Satisfied with the explanation he made up, he turned back to the library. 

        “YAY!” Twilight yelped as she started to flip through her book, “Okay, step one: Makeovers.”




-----After Applejack and Trixie finished washing off Applejack’s hooves, they went back inside to find...-----




        “What in tarnation?” Applejack gasped, seeing Rarity apply some kind of green gunk onto Twilight’s... eyelid? Wouldn’t that just make it go into her eyes when she opened them? Oh well, what do I know. Anyway, Trixie also walked in on the same sight, but her reaction was markedly different.

        “Ooohh, Facials,” Trixie said with a smile. “Can I get some of that?”

        “Sure darling.” Rarity went over to apply some of the... slime, I think, to Trixie.

        “Now wait just a gol-darn minute. Ya make me wash the mud off my hooves, but it's okay for y'all to have mud all over yer faces?” Applejack sai- Wait that’s supposed to be mud?! What type of mud is green?! Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be narrating.

        “Silly! This is called a mud mask. It's to refresh and rejuvenate your complexion.” Rarity explained.

        “We're giving each other makeovers! Eee-hee! We have to do it, it says so in the book.” Twilight said with a childlike glee as she levitated said book over to Applejack.

        “Slumber 101: Everything You...” Applejack read, before taking on a shocked expression. She started to leave, saying “Oh hey, heh, would'ja look at the time. I gotta skidaddle on home quick. I'm powerful late for, uh, fer somethin'. Uh, g'night.” She ran out the door, saw a bolt of lightning, screamed, and ran right back in. “Or maybe I'll sit here for a spell,” she said with an absolutely terrified expression.

        “Hooray slumber party!”

        Trixie tried to convince Applejack to join in. “Come on Applejack, it’s not so bad.”

        “Besides Applejack, you don’t want to ruin Twilight’s first slumber party do you?” Rarity asked accusingly.

        “Well...” Applejack looked around for some reason to not have to cover her face in that sludge, no I am not calling it mud. Her eyes fell upon Card. “Why don’t Card hafta put one on?”

        “They tried,” Card said as he munched on a cucumber, “I kept on wiping it all off.” He gestured to the pile of green-stained tissues next to him.

        “Well if Card don’t need to put that stuff on, I ain’t neither!” Applejack said adamantly.

        “Come on, please!” Twilight said with her eyes in full puppy dog mode.

        “No!” Applejack shook her head. “I’m sorry Twilight, but nuthin y’all could say will convince me to put that gunk on mah face.”

        Twilight just opened her eyes wider.




-----Five minutes later-----




        “...You all look ridiculous.” Card chuckled as he looked up from his book.

        “Oh you be quiet!” Applejack snapped out, her blush so bright it was visible through the layers of slime on her face. “How much longer do Ah need to leave this on?” she asked Rarity with a pleading tone of voice.

        “Oh, only a few more minutes. Unfortunately, somepony ate the cucumber so we can’t go through a full facial,” Rarity said as she shot a death glare at Card.

        Card, completely ignoring the attempt at intimidation, turned to Twilight as he marked off his point in the book. “So, what are we doing after this?”

        “Oh, let me check!” Twilight levitated the book over the herself. “After makeovers we’re supposed to... Tell scary stories! Oh this is so exciting! We’ll do everything by the book, and then this slumber party will be officially fun!” Twilight said with an excited clap of her hooves.

        “I’m pretty sure officially fun is an oxymoron,” Card muttered, thankfully escaping Twilight’s earshot.

        “Okay, time’s up,” Rarity announced.

        “Phew,” went Applejack as she wiped the slime off of her face. “Thank Celestia we’re done with...”

        “Now it’s time for the curlers!”

        “Ahh, horseapples.” Applejack swore.




-----Five more minutes later-----




        “Okay, makeovers check!” Twilight said as she poofed away the curlers. “Now, who wants to go first for ghost stories?”

        “Me!” Applejack volunteered, “I'd like to tell y'all the terrifying tale of the prissy ghost who drove everypony crazy with her unnecessary neatness. Oo-oo! I'm sure y'all are familiar with that one?” She said drenched in sarcasm, her eyes never leaving Rarity’s.

        Rarity took it in stride and replied with a barb of her own. “Never heard of it, but I have a much better one. It's the horrifying story of the messy, inconsiderate ghost who irritated every pony within a hundred miles! Oo-oo!”

        “That’s not a real story, you made that up!” Applejack said as she got up into Rarity’s face.

        “It’s a ghost story, they’re all made up.” Rarity shot back condescendingly. The two mares appeared to be close to blows, but fortunately they were interrupted by a crash of thunder, and the lights going off.

        “AHH!” Went the two mares, before Twilight got between them with a lantern.

        “I've got one!” she enthusiastically said. “This story is called The Legend of the Headless Horse.” After taking some time to huddle around the lantern, everyone watched as she started her story.

        “It was a dark and stormy night, just like this one. And three ponies were having a slumber party, just like this one...”




-----One Sleepy-Hollow ripoff later,-----




        “...and just when the last pony thought she was safe, there, standing right behind her, just inches away was -- the Headless Horse!” Twilight screamed for, standing there, just behind her, was a horse with blood coming out of it’s stump of a neck. As Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack screamed and grabbed hold of one another, they heard laughter. Trixie and Card were rolling along the floor, laughing so hard that they nearly lost their heads.

        “Oh... oh...” Trixie panted as she dispelled the illusion, “You three should have seen your faces.”

        “Nice one!” Card said as he raised his leg for a high hoof.

        “That was not very nice!” Twilight said.

        “Ohh?” Card asked as he raised an eyebrow, “Tell me Twinkly, what were you planning to do with that?” Card gestured at the blanket Twilight had put behind her with the intention of using it to scare her friends.

        “Well, anyway,” Twilight coughed out, embarrassed over having fallen for her own intended trick, “Ghost stories, check. Now then, who want S’mores?!”

        “I don’t know,” Card said as he pointed at Rarity, “We’d need a lot graham crackers and chocolate if we want to cover that marshmallow.”

        Now it was Applejack’s turn to fall over laughing, as Rarity started to blush.

        “Wha- How dare you?!” she stammered out, alas, to no avail as Card was busy helping Twilight and Trixie set up the ingredients.

        “Come on, Rarity, Applejack,” Twilight yelled out. “It’s time to start cooking!”

        As Applejack picked herself up, and Rarity recomposed herself, they went over to help Twilight make S’mores.




-----You all know how to make S’mores right? Good, then I can skip this part-----




        “And done!” Rarity said as she looked up from her perfectly symmetrical s’more. “Ta-da!” She said with a flourish.

        “Ooohh,” Twilight went as she admired the hors d'oeuvre.

        “Impressive,” Trixie said, talking about Rarity’s showmanship, not her ability to put things onto other things.

        Applejack, hoofing her roasting marshmallows over to Card, went to the table and ate the treat.

        “Mmm-mmm!” she went with a supremely satisfied look on her face. *burrp!*

        Rarity let out a sigh, saying, “You could at least say excuse me.”

        “Aw, I was just ‘bout to, but you interrupted me. Pardon,” Applejack said flatly.

        While those two glared at each other, Card split the rest of the marshmallows with Trixie. As they stuffed them into their mouths, Twilight went over to her book and marked off what they had just done. “S’mores, check. Now the next item of fun we have to do is Truth or Dare.”

        Upon hearing this, Card’s ears perked up. “Truth or Dare?” he said as he swallowed the gooey marshmallow innards. “I love that game!” he went over to Twilight to set up the rules.

        Applejack, having heard the same, opened her mouth, probably to hurl another insult at Rarity. However, when she heard what Card had said, she seemed to think better of it, closing her mouth.

        Rarity, who was prepared to send a comeback at Applejack seemed shocked that no insult was coming her way. “What is it?” she asked concerned at seeing the look of concentration on Applejack’s face.

        “Listen Rarity, can we call a truce?” Applejack asked.

        “Why?”

        “He knows Brick. I need to know how.” Applejack said with a pleading look, “Rarity please.”

        Rarity mulled it over for a bit, before finally saying, “Fine. I’ve got some things I wish to ask about as well.” as she looked between Card and Twilight.

        “Thank you!” Applejack looked like she just found out that the blazing inferno at Sweet Apple Acres managed not to burn a single tree.

        “Hey, are you two done yet?” Card asked. “We’re about ready to start.” Card, Twilight, and Trixie were all sitting, well Trixie and Twilight were sitting, Card was lying down, in a circle on the floor around a bit. Applejack and Rarity came over and sat down across from one another. 

        “Okay, good we’re all here,” Card said, “Now then, here are the rules.” He gestured to the coin, “When you pick someone, you flip the bit and if its heads, it’s a dare. Tails, and it’s a truth. Keep it PG-13, Dares end when the game does, No picking the pony who picked you, and no daring someone to tell you the truth about something. Understand?” he asked. As four heads nodded their comprehension he continued. “Good. Now then, as she is our host, Twinkly goes first.” 

        Twilight looked around the circle, before finally settling onto..., “Trixie!” she said as flipped the coin. “Heads!” Twilight got a mischievous smile, which made Trixie very nervous.

        “Wh- what?” she asked.

        “I dare you to dump a glass of ice water onto your head!” Twilight said triumphantly, summoning a cup.

        Rarity and Applejack exchanged looks of confusion as Card chuckled and said, “Why Twinkly, I do believe I’m rubbing off on you.” Trixie, for her part, turned almost as white as Rarity, but levitated the glass out of Twilight’s field, took a deep breath and... *Sploosh!!!* turned it up onto her mane, completely undoing all the work that Rarity had just done on it. As Trixie shivered, Twilight let out a small laugh and levitated the towel she had used over to let her dry off.

        “Sorry.” Twilight said, still grinning.

        “N-n-n-no p-p-pr-problem.” Trixie chattered out as she wiped all the ice off her face and out of her hair. Through the towel she noticed Card chuckling. Let’s see how much you like it! she thought maliciously. “I pick Card!” She exclaimed as she flipped the bit. Damnit! she internally swore upon seeing the result. “Tails.”

        “Ok, so what do you want know?” Card said as he rolled over onto his stomach, his front hooves under his chin.

        “Umm...” Trixie’s eyes cast about for something to ask him, before her eyes landed on his jacket. “List off everything you have in your jacket.” she said.

        “Ok, one microt.” Card said as he swung himself into a cross legged position and started to rummage around in his front pockets. “Ok,” He started to draw things out one at a time. “We have: a d4, a d6, a d10, a d12, another d10, a d20, and...” He took out a small bag of bits and started counting them. “one, two, four... 28 bits!” He started putting everything back in.

        “Wait, that- that can’t be everything!” Trixie incredulously said.

        “Yeah, what about the inside?” Twilight asked. “You’re always pulling things out from inside your coat.”

        “Sorry, the only thing I have in my jacket right now is me.”

        “Impossible! Today I saw you pull out a ladder and then put it back in!” Trixie was nearly in hysterics.

        “Don’t be silly,” Card said dismissively, “Have you seen how thin this jacket is? how would I keep a ladder in it?” Card scoffed. “That’s silly.” Card went back to lying down on his stomach and started looking around, trying to decide who to pick. “I pick... Marshmallow.” He suddenly said as he pointed a hoof at Rarity, who was sitting right next to him.

        “Sorry, what did you call me?!” A flustered Rarity said, trying to ignore the snickerings of Applejack and Trixie.

        “Well you haven’t exactly introduced yourself to me.” Card pointed out.

        “Of course, what was I thinking.” Rarity, attempting to recover, extended a hoof to Card and introduced herself. “I am Rarity, seamstress extraordinaire. May I ask who you are?” She said with much eyelash fluttering. 

        “I’m Card, M.D.” Card flipped the coin, and it landed on heads. “And I’m daring you to...” he tossed a look out the window, “Go stand outside for five minutes,” he said.

        “What!” Rarity started panicking at the thought of all the work she had done on her hair being ruined. “Y- you can’t be serious.”

        “Yeah, and I’m going out there with you so I can make sure you stay out in the rain and don’t hide under anything.” Card was still looking out the window.

        “Are you sure I can’t change your mind?” Rarity whispered into Card’s ear in what she probably thought was a seductive tone of voice. And to be fair if it was tried against any other stallion it probably would have worked, but as this was Card... Well...

        “Come on, let’s go.” Card said as he grabbed Rarity by the mane, don’t ask me how, and yanked her out the front door. As soon as they left, Applejack jumped up from her seat and locked the door behind them.

        “Applejack, what are you doing?” Twilight asked.

        “Look, if ah know Rarity at all, she’s gon wanna head back inside as soon as the furst water drops ge’ inna her mane.” Applejack replied, “Ah’m just makin shoor she follows the rules.”

        “Oh. Well I guess that’s okay then.” Twilight said, ignoring the banging on the door.

        “Hey, while those two are outside, you two wanna wait or keep playing?” Trixie asked.

        “Let’s keep playing.” Twilight said.

        “Shoor, but as Ah’m the only one who hasn’t gone yet, can ah pick?” Applejack asked.

        “Yeah, okay.”

        “Makes sense to me.”




-----Meanwhile, outside-----




        “AHHHH!” Rarity screamed as she banged on the door. “LET ME IN, LET ME IN!!!!” Card grew tired of this rather quickly, and so walked on over to the mysterious picnic table.

        “So Madam Picnic table, if that is your real name, you mind telling me how you got here?” Card asked.

        “PLEASE!!!” Rarity was sobbing.

        “Comeon... Tell me.”

        “PRETTY PLEASE!!!”

        “Tell me.”

        “MY HAIR IS IN RUINS!!!”

        “TELL ME!!!”

        “TO SAY NOTHING OF WHAT’S HAPPENED TO MY COAT!!!”

    

        “Damnit, that usually works.” Card muttered.

        “It’s all... brown! and dirty!”

        “Ok madam, I didn’t want to have to do this, but you’ve forced my hoof!”

        “And brown!”

        Card took a lighter out from inside of his jacket.

        “I can barely see my own cutie mark!!!”

        “Last chance madam table!!! Tell me your story!” The table refused to make so much as a squeak.

        “Oh my poor, poor, beautiful white fur!” Rarity had, by now, just fallen to the ground crying.

        Card started striking the lighter. *chick*

        *Sob Sob*

        *chick* *chick*

        *Sob, Sob*

        *chickchickchickchick*

        *Sob, Sob*

        *CHICKCHICKCHICKCHICKCHICKCHICKCHICK*

        Rarity had by now noticed that nopony was paying her any attention and so got up off the floor. She walked over to where Card was interrogating and attempting to torture a picnic table..., Wow, never thought I’d have to say that again. Anyways, once she got close enough, she plopped back down onto the ground and started crying again.


[img]]


        *Sob, Sob*

        But her efforts were in vain, for Card was still trying to get his lighter to work. He decided to turn to the oldest, most time-honored, and manliest way of fixing things there is.

        *Smacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmack*

        Meanwhile, Rarity was... *Sob, Sob*ing in an almost annoyed tone of voice.

        Card had decided that hitting his lighter was doing no good, and if that had failed then clearly the problem wasn’t with the lighter. He took a quick look around and then discovered the reason that his lighter wasn’t lighting.

        “Oh yeah…,” Card said as he looked to the sky. “Rain... That’s made of water...”

        “Ahem.” Rarity got up looking positively pissed off, and cleared her throat right behind Card. He didn’t notice, instead...

        “CURSE YOU MOTHER NATURE!!!”Card fell to his hind legs and shook his hoofs to the sky, then stopping momentarily as a thought struck him. “OR WEATHER PEGASI... I GUESS... DOESN’T REALLY ROLL OFF THE TONGUE THE SAME WAY THOUGH.”

        “AHEM!!!” Rarity cleared her throat even louder, this time getting Card’s attention.

        “Oh hey.” Card said, just now remembering why he came out here. “How’ve you been doing?”

        Rarity didn’t deign to dignify that with a response, instead testily asking him, “Has it been five minutes yet?” through clenched teeth.

        “Huh? Oh yeah, it’s been like seven.”

        “...What.”

        “Anyways, just hose yourself off and we can go back inside,” Card said, ignoring Rarity’s building anger.

        Come Rarity, you’re better than this... Rarity thought to herself as she walked over to begin washing herself off.

        Card went off to join her, but first he paid his respects to a worthy adversary. “Well done Madame. I applaud you your courage.” He bowed to the picnic table, and then threw the lighter back into his jacket.

        After Rarity finished washing off, Card walked up to her.

        “Come On, let’s head inside.”

        “How? The door’s still locked!” Rarity asked in a huff.

        Card let out a short laugh. “Oh, like that’s ever stopped me.”

> On Screwing and Sleepovers (Part 2)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


-----Last Time on the Stallion in the Library-----




        “CURSE YOU MOTHER NATURE!!!!!”




-----And Now, The Story Continues-----




        “Hey all, we’re back.” Card waved to the sitting mares as he emerged from Twilight’s kitchen followed by a miffed, soaking Rarity.

        “Hi.” said Twilight

        “Hey”

        “Howdy.” Applejack said with a wave.

        “Harumph.” Went Rarity, turning up her muzzle as she levitated the towel over to herself.

        Card went back to laying down, before asking a question that had been on his mind since he entered the room. “Trixie?”

        “Yes?” Trixie said distractedly.

        “Why are you in a straitjacket?”

        “Dare.”

        “Oh, so you kept going?”

        “Yes we did.” Twilight interjected. “We didn’t want to wait five minutes.”

        “Ok, so whose turn is it then?”

        “Well, we all had a turn while you two were outside. So I guess it’s Rarity’s.”

        “Great. Rarity, pick a pony.” Card gestured towards the now dry mare.

        After another glare that once again escaped Card’s notice, Rarity chose, “Twilight.” She flipped the bit and it came up tails. Rarity racked her brain trying to come up with something to ask Twilight, but her anger at Card kept her from focusing. Finally she just chose to ask something that she had noticed when she first came in. “Why was your mane all wet earlier?”

        Twilight blushed again, but eventually just said, “Trixie poured a glass of ice water on my head.” in a tone that very clearly said she didn’t want to go any further into it. “Anyways- I choose Card.” She flipped- Tails. Before she could ask Card anything, she heard a cheer.

        “Whoo!” Trixie burst out, standing next to the straitjacket she had just been wearing. “Told you I could do it without magic Jackie!” 

        Rarity, Applejack and Twilight clapped at the accomplishment.

        “Well done!”

        “I’ll be durned.”

        “Very impressive.”

        “Yeah, congratulations.” Card said as he threw the straitjacket into the fireplace, then went back to his spot lying down. “What?” He asked as he saw the confused mares before him.

        “Uhh, Card?” Twilight said.

        “Yeah?”

        “Why did you just do that?” The instant the words left Twilight’s mouth, she regretted them. The air seemed to get colder as she saw Card’s eyes turn hard.

        “I don’t like straitjackets.”  The mares were all taken aback by the amount of pure spite that came along with Card’s words.

        “Oh... Okay.” Twilight said hesitantly as she backed away slightly.

        “Anyways, now it’s my turn.” Instantly, Card’s previous cheerful demeanor returned. “I choose Jackie.” Heads.

        “Hmm...” Card appeared to be in deep thought, looking at Applejack with a level of scrutiny that made her feel as self-conscious as Fluttershy. As Applejack shifted in her seat, she was startled to hear Card actually tell her his dare.

        “Give me your hat.” He said.

        “Wha? Why?” Applejack asked.

        “Because I want to be able to say that I was alone in a room with four naked mares.” Card said impatiently. “Now give.”

        Applejack forked over her hat, and Card immediately put it on his head. 

        “Card, I think that hat might be a bit to sm- huh?” Trixie broke off confused at the sight of the stetson growing to accommodate his larger head.

        “A One-size spell?” Twilight said. “Applejack how did you get a enchantment like that? It takes a ridiculous amount of magical power, I could barely do it.”

        “It was like that when Ah got it.” Applejack said. “Anyhow, my turn now. Ah pick Rarity.” Heads. “Ah dare ya to go wipe all that make-up off yer face.”

        “Done.” Rarity said as she quickly used the towel that was still right next to her to sponge off her mascara and eyeshadow.

        “That was quick.” Applejack said taken aback. “Ah was expecting a bit more of a fight.”

        Rarity, ignoring Applejack, immediately levitated up the bit. “Card,” She said with enough venom in her voice to make a basilisk blush. The bit came up heads and she sprang up, magiced up a ridiculous dress, all blue and pink and frilly and with a ridiculous hate that looks like it belonged at a renaissance fair.

        “Put. It. On.” Rarity forcefully said as she shoved it at Card. Let’s see how much you like being humiliat- 

        “Done.”

        “Huh?” while Rarity was thinking her evil thoughts to herself, Card had quickly put on the dress and gone right back to laying on the floor. “Wha?”

        “How did you that so fast?” An awestruck Twilight asked.

        "This is not the first time I've had to wear a dress.” Card said. “Or, incidentally, the 26th."

        If you listen carefully, you can hear all of Rarity’s dreams for revenge shatter. Anyways, following that bit of weirdness Twilight decided that they had had enough of truth or dare and declared the game over. Card got out of his dress, revealing that he had somehow managed to put it on without removing his jacket, Applejack got her hat back, and Rarity, catching sight of herself reflected in the window, yelped and rushed off to the bathroom to re-apply her makeup.

        “What’s up next Twinkly?” Card asked as he scooped up his bit and threw it back into his pocket.

        “According to the book, it’s... pillow fights?” Twilight was confused, “Am I supposed to make some sort of pillow golem- Mff!” Twilight was finding it hard to talk around the massive pillow that was just thrown in her mouth. After she spit it out, realization dawned on her. “Oohhh. I get it, pillow fi- Mff!” upon spitting out yet another pillow, she realized that the fight had already started. 

        Applejack had a nice stack of pillows right in front of her, doubling as cover as she kicked them at the other ponies, mostly focusing on Rarity. Rarity, for her part, was doing a good job herself, grabbing and levitating the pillows around her as she launched them around the room, mostly focusing her onslaught on Card. Trixie was doing something similar, but she had only one pillow that she was keeping constant control of, making it go way overhead only to boomerang back and hit directly on the back of your head, or sending it off at one pony, only for it to change course midway and zoom off towards somepony else. She was the one who had nailed Twilight twice. Then there was Card. He decided to forgo any ranged attack and just grab a pillow between his teeth and rush around bashing the mares over the head, across the back, at the legs, just tanking through any pillows that went his way, all the while with a mad grin on his face.

        Seeing all of the fun, Twilight gave a whoop and jumped right in, sending her pillow directly at Trixie’s legs with the goal of tripping her up. But Trixie saw her coming and leaped over the incoming projectile, sending off one of her own. Twilight intercepted the pillow with her own magic in midair, trying to redirect it straight back at Trixie. The opposing magical pushes grew so strong that the pillow burst in a cloud of spinning white feathers, through which came Card boping Twilight right over the muzzle before he took a shot from Rarity that made him stumble. Rarity, seeing her chance launched all the pillows she had at her disposal straight at the dazed stallion, but her tunnel vision lead to a direct hit from Applejack’s pillow straight to her perfectly combed and curled hair, ruining it for the third time that day, causing her to now focus all her attention on Applejack. The battle went on like this for quite a while, getting more and more intense, everypony getting more excited and hyper until-

        *Smack* *Slam*

        Card had hit Twilight across the side so hard that she hit the floor. Upon seeing that she wasn’t getting up, all the rage left his body. 

        “Time out!” He called. However only Trixie heard him, rushing over as Rarity and Applejack continued their back-and-forth.

        “Hey!” Trixie yelled, trying to get the dueling mares to cease. However this attempt failed as well. A stray pillow veered off in the direction of the unconscious Twilight, only to be stopped by Card’s hoof, his blue eyes cold as ice.

        “I said,” He spoke in a penetrating whisper, as all heat seemed to escape the room, “Stop. It.” He looked between Rarity and Applejack who had dropped their pillows at the sudden chill up their spines that had nothing to do with the seeming cold. This act done, he directed all his attention to the mare on the floor, who he carefully checked over. Finding nothing other then a minor bump, he lightly smacked her into consciousness.

        “Owww...” Twilight moaned as she awoke. Blinking she asked, “What happened?”

        “I got a little carried away.” Card said. “Maybe we should stop the fight.”

        “Oh. Well it is getting a little late.” Twilight looked at her clock as she rubbed her head. “Let’s head on off to bed.”

        “Marvelous! I was feeling a touch tired.” Rarity said. “So where are the beds?”

        “Oh they’re-” Twilight stopped as a sudden realization struck her. She let out a nervous laugh.

         Card decided he was thirsty, and so left to go get something to drink.

        “What’s wrong Twi?” Trixie asked as she noticed her friends discomfort.

        “Well... You see...” Twilight hemmed and hawed around the subject before just spitting it out. “I only have two beds.”

        “Ah don’t mind taking the guest bed.” Applejack said.

        “I’m fine with that too.” Trixie threw in.

        “Okay then!” Twilight cheered, satisfied that this problem had been resolved so quickly. “So, Rarity I guess you’re sharing a bed with me.” she enthused.

        “What?” Went a mortified looking Rarity. “I couldn’t possibly take your bed away.”

        “Well you three won’t all fit onto one.” Twilight explained.

        “Then I will use the guest bed, let Applejack sleep with you.” Rarity said.

        “Why Ah could never! What kinda houseguest takes away her hostess’s bed?” Applejack said.

        “Fine,” Twilight said with a sigh, as she turned to face Trixie, “You sleep in my bed.”

        “Sorry Twi,” Trixie said as she shook her head. “Remember what happened the last time I laid down in your bed?”

        Twilight let out a shudder as she remembered the horrible rash Trixie had gotten after just being on her sheets for a few minutes. “Good point. Then it’s between Applejack and Rarity.”

        The two mare’s started arguing.

        “You sleep with Twilight!”

        “No, Y’all can sleep with Twilight! I’ll be fine with Trixie.”

        Naturally, these last two lines were when Card came back into the room. After some brief flashes of thoughts that I couldn’t describe without bumping up the rating, he remembered what they were talking about when he left. He also decided that this argument could go on for hours, and so he reached into his jacket and pulled out some straws.

        “Here.” He said, thrusting them into the mare’s faces. “Two of these have blue tips, the other two have red tips. Red gets the guest bed, blue takes Twinkly’s room.” After a few glares between Applejack and Rarity, the mares agreed and drew straws. Twilight and Trixie shared the guest room, with Applejack and Rarity taking the master bedroom. “There, everybody happy?”

        “No.”

        “Naw.”

        “No.”

        “I don’t really have a choice, now do I.”

        “Perfect.” Card gave a nod of satisfaction. “Now then, let’s hit the hay.” As the mare’s went off to their sleeping places, Twilight noticed something amiss.

        “Card?” she asked

        Card gave a grunt of acknowledgement. 

        “Where will you be sleeping?” 

        “I’ll be fine.”

        “Well do you need anything? Pillows? Sheets?”

        “Well, I’m pretty good on pillows,” Card said as he lifted up one of the dozen still scattered around the ground, “But some sheets would be nice.”

        Twilight levitated some sheets over to Card, before turning to leave.

        “Good night.” She called out.

        “G’night. Oh,” Card said suddenly remembering something, “Tell Trixie I said good night to her too.” He said this so earnestly that Twilight couldn’t help but giggle a bit.

        “I will.” And with that Twilight went to her guest bedroom.




-----In Twilight’s guest bedroom-----




        Still as fond of redundancy as ever, aren’t you Aoc? Well I was planning on going through Card’s nightly rituals, but apparently Aoc wants to see the mare’s preparations instead. I apologize for the inconvenience. Anyways, Twilight and Trixie were lying in bed, having a nice chat.

        “That was a lot of fun, wasn’t it?” Twilight asked Trixie.

        “Yeah.” Trixie gave a contented sigh. “The pillow fight especially. I haven’t gotten to charge my horn like that since my last performance, I thought I was getting out of practice.”

        “Oh. Well, you know,” Twilight hesitated a bit.

        “What is it Twi?” 

        “If you want, you could study magic with me. Only if you want to!”

        “I’d love to!” Trixie beamed. “I’ve never had as much fun arguing with somepony about magic as I have with you. Practicing with you can only make it more fun!”

        “Oh this will be so amazing!” Twilight was nearly hopping in her bed. “I haven’t had a chance to study magic with somepony else before!”

        “Really?”

        “Well Spike helps me out sometimes, but that’s usually just as a place to test my spells.” Twilight admitted. “He isn’t much help with the technical stuff.”

        “Oh. So what book off your shelves will we be studying first? Although, honestly I can’t imagine you haven’t already read them all.” Trixie said with a short chuckle.

        Twilight started shuffling nervously around in the bed. It seems that she forgot that Trixie might actually want to know where the spells she was studying were coming from. You see, Twilight hasn’t told Trixie about her being the Princess’s personal student.

        “Well...” Twilight hesitated, carefully choosing how to proceed. “You’re right, I have studied all the magical books in this library.”

        “So what will we be studying?”

        “I don’t know yet. The Princess sends me a new list to learn on sundays.”

        “The Princess?”

        “Yeah.” Twilight let out a sigh. “I’ve Princess Celestia’s personal student since I was 13.”

        “Huh.” Trixie mulled this over. “So should I come sunday afternoon?”

        “What!” went a shocked Twilight.

        “Bad time? Then when should I come?”

        “No, no, sunday afternoon will do fine, I mean, I just meant... Is that it?”

        “About what?” Trixie looked confused before comprehension dawned on her. “Ohh, you mean about the Princess being your personal tutor?”

        Twilight gave a nod.

        Trixie gave a shrug. “I don’t see why who taught you magic should make a difference to me.”

        Twilight let out a small sigh of happiness, only to suck it back in when Trixie kept talking.

        “Speaking of.” Trixie rolled over so she and Twilight were nose to nose. “What were you thinking earlier that made you blush so hard?”

        “Oh. Well it was just...” Twilight’s mind went back to the incident, specifically all the things that were racing through her mind. The image with the rabbit, and the carrot, and the chicken, and the vibrating pebble, and Twilight’s blush was back in full force.

        “Are you okay?” An amused Trixie said. “Do I need to get the ice-water again?”

        “NO! No, no, no, I- I think I’m fine.” Twilight gave a shudder remembering how it felt to have all that ice going through her mane.

        Trixie started laughing. “You’re acting like a scared virgin about to take the plunge.”

        “i’m not a virgin.” Twilight whispered.

        Trixie’s laughter ceased. “What was that?” she said as she pointed her ear at Twilight, not sure she heard her correctly.

        “I’m not a virgin.” Twilight said a bit more clearly.

        “O- oh.” Trixie said awkwardly. Frankly I don’t blame her, how do you respond to something like that in casual conversation. Well, as casual as pillow talk can be. Still, seems like Twilight still has to learn some more social graces.

        Twilight, sensing the awkwardness, decided that it was late.

        “Yeah Wow, look at the time!” Trixie said, trying to hide her embarrassment. “Uh, G’night.” She rolled over and immediately started feigning sleep.

        “Good night Trixie.” Twilight also rolled over so the mares back’s were facing each other and started to fall asleep, happy about having gotten one on Trixie in exchange for all the time Trixie had gotten her flustered.

        Trixie’s last thought before falling asleep? I hope this awkward go’s away by morning, otherwise it’ll be the second most awkward time I’ve woken up in Twilight’s bed.

        What about Twilight’s final thoughts? Stupid, stupid, stupid! I forgot to tell her that Card said goodnight! I hope he won’t be too disappointed in me.


> On Screwing and Sleepovers (Part 3)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
-----Last time on The Stallion in the Library-----




“You sleep with Twilight!”

“No, Y’all can sleep with Twilight! I’ll be fine with Trixie.”




-----And now the story continues-----




        And so ends a good day with a delightful- Huh? You want me to do what? Are you sure? All of them? All five? Okay, you’re the boss. Ahem, Sorry about that everyone, I have just been informed that we have a bit more to do before I can call this finished. Who’s up for a little dream-walking?




-----I am!-----




        Aoc, even if you weren’t you wouldn’t have a choice. Now then, for the duration of our little voyeuristic outing, I will be represented with italics, and Aoc will just be in plain bold. 

        Now then, Aoc if you would?

        Sure thing N. Let’s see, who should we start off with? Well Trixie’s closest. Into her brain! Whee!

        Ouch. Well we’re inside now, let’s see... Oh, there she is! Why is she doing that?

        Maybe it’s just her way of practicing. Haven’t you ever had something you worked so hard on that you started to work on it in your sleep?

        Yeah, you have a point. Oh! I almost forgot to do my job, my sincerest apologies. A-hem.

        Trixie was sitting alone in the center of a room. She was surrounded by various and sundry objects, and she appeared to be attempting to make each one do a different thing. She was trying to make the tea kettle whistle, to make the rope dance, to make a books pages flip, etc. etc. However while her magical control was enough to reach all the objects separately, she lacked the sheer power to make them do exactly what she wanted. The kettle merely gave off an impotent whine, the rope just wiggled a bit, and the pages were barely coming up, instead just sliding to the opposite side, etc. etc. until finally she could keep the magic flowing no more and released all her spells

        “Huff, Huff.” Trixie heaved “Just a bit stronger, just a bit stronger.” She repeated this mantra to herself over, and over again as she geared up for another try.

        Admirable tenacity, don’t you think Aoc?

        Yeah. The mare’s determined, I’ll give her that. But, unfortunately this dream doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Let’s get out.

        Very well, but please be more-

        Yoink!

        ...Did you just say ‘yoink’?

        Oh shut up, we’re out aren’t we?

        Sigh... Fair enough. Now then, who next?

        Let’s take a peek into Twilight’s head, she seems to be having an interesting dream.

        I agree, look at her twist and turn. It’s a miracle Trixie hasn’t woken u- Ahh! Yeesh, warn me before you do that!!

        Why?

        So I can brace myself!

        How exactly do you brace yourself for going into someones dreams via their ear?

        Ugh... We’ll come back to this later. For now, look at Twilight.

        Twilight stood in front of a massive row of bookshelves, trying to reshelve some books that were recently checked in. 

        “Why does Card insist on folding the corners down on the books h-” Twilight suddenly stopped as something caught her eye. Something that should not be there. “What’s a cookbook doing in speculative fiction? Did Spike misplace it? Well, no problem I’ll just put you back into your place when I’ve finished with all of these. Now the-” Twilight stopped in her tracks, seeing another out of place book. As she looked closer at the bookshelf she was putting books back into she noticed that it was full of all kinds of books, except the ones that were supposed to be there. “No, no, no,” she started to mutter to herself. “This is wrong, all wrong, you’re not supposed to be here.” Then she happened to take a look at the book she was currently in the process of reshelving “A History of... Eastern Oka? What have I been doing?” She started to hyperventilate seeing all the books she had put back, thinking they were all where they belonged, into the wrong places. “No. No! No! NO!!!”

        Hey what’s going on? Why are we back in the bedroom?

        Looks like she just woke up.

        Well I guess that explains the scream. Dear lord, Trixie’s still asleep.

        Kind of a lame nightmare though. Why are all librarians neurotic?

        I dunno. Well anyways, we’re all done in this room.

        To Applejack and Rarity!!!

        AHH!! There, we’re here, now let go of my hand!

        Oh, sorry.

        You should be. Seriously, I know my arms are short but they don’t need to be stretched.

        I said sorry, yeesh. Now stop grumbling and let’s go into Rarity. You ready?

        Yeah, sure whatever.

        There we g- Why is it so dark in here?

        Heck if I know, it’s Rarity’s subconscious.

        Well let’s try to- AHH!

        What happened?

        I tripped over something. Seems to be a chair.

        Huh. Okay my eyes have adjusted now, looks like we’re in some kinda auditorium. Wow, that’s a lot of balconies!

        House seems pretty packed too. I don’t think I can see a single chair that isn’t filled.

        Well would you have a dream where you perform to a small crowd?

        Good point. What’s that runway for?

        It’s Rarity’s fantasy, what do you think it’s for?

        Stop condescending at me! When do you think t- maw’tok!

        Given the spotlight you were staring directly at just turned on, I’d say the show starts now.

        hhh... Ow. Hey, why’s Card here?

        I have no idea. Either way, it’s clear Rarity doesn’t know Card very well.

        What makes you say that?

        When have you ever seen Card sit still like that, without something directly in his face?

        Oh. Well, either way let’s get outta here.

        Agreed, It’s bad enough when Maria drags me to see these stupid things.

        Well that was boring. Hey, what’s wrong with Applejack?

        Looks like she’s crying.

        No shit, Sherlock. Why do you think she’s crying. And smiling. This is weird.

        Well, let’s find out. Do your thing Aoc.

        Ok, hold on!

        Oww. You could have been a bit more gentle.

        Yeah, I could’ve.

        ...Bitch.

        P’tahk

        Sigh... Hey, why is everything so... so...

        Sepia?

        Yeah.

        This seems to be a memory.

        Really now? Oh hey there’s Applejack. She looks really young, like 14.

        Hey, who’s that unicorn in the hat she’s talking to? And why are they sitting in such a bare bedroom?

        Oh god. That’s... that’s Brick. Wait, I can hear her.

        “Ah just... Are yah sure you have to go?” Applejack said morosely.

        “Yeah, you know how huge an opportunity this is for me A.J.” Brick said, “It’s the top med school in the kingdom, all of my hard work has finally paid off.”

        “Ah know, Ah know.” Applejack had her head tilted down, her long hair covering her eyes.

        Brick let out a sigh. “Ok, what’s wrong?” he asked.

        “It’s jus... when you make it to that big fancy city, with all those big fancy hospitals and big fancy ponies... What if you dun... dun...” Applejack was openly sobbing now.

        “What if I don’t want to come back?” Brick tenderly said.

        Applejack just gave a nod, still sobbing. Brick began to rub along her back with one of his hoofs, attempting to to comfort the cry filly, while his other hoof rubbed his head and fiddled with the stetson on top of it. He looked lost for a while before suddenly an idea struck him.

        “You know the story behind this hat?” he said as he took it off of his head.

        “N- nope.” Applejack said, her sobs subsiding. 

        “This hat was the first thing I ever bought with the first paycheck I ever earned. I saw it in the window of a shop and knew I just had to have it. One day, I noticed that it was feeling a bit too tight. Turns out I was starting to outgrow it. Now, I could’ve just thrown it away, got myself a new one, but I loved this hat so much that I went into that big old library in town and started researching how to make it a bit bigger. I must have spent five hours a day at least, until I finally found a spell that would make it fit no matter how big the head it was put on. Now, you know I’m no great shakes at magic, I can barely lift a pen, but I studied that spell harder than I had ever studied for anything else, until finally, after weeks of trying, I got the spell just right.” The whole time he was talking, he was looking down at the hat with a slight smile on his face, remembering the simpler times. He let out a sigh,

        “This hat is my most prized possession, more than this house even. So-” He said as he placed the hat onto Applejack’s head, lifting her chin up with one of his hoofs so he could look her in the eye, “You take good care of it, because, no matter how long it takes or what gets in my way, I’m going to come get it back.”

        At this, Applejack sprang up from the bed she was sitting on grabbing Brick in a huge hug. Tears began streaming down her face again, but this time she was smiling underneath them.

        I think we’ve seen enough of this. Let’s get out.

        Y- ye- yeah.

        Aoc? Aoc, are you crying?

        Shut up, it was a sweet moment. A-hem, now then all we have left is Card right?

        Oh yeah. This is bound to be interesting.

        Definitely. Come on, let’s go to the main room.

        ...

        ...

        ...

        ...

        ... Okay, I don’t know what confuses me more: where he got the king-sized waterbed from, or where he got enough water to fill it up with.

        I just hope that none of the unicorns trip over this thing in the morning. All that water would not be fun to mop up.

        Yeah. Anyways, lets head in.

        Aaaaand away we go!

        Aoc? Aoc! Oh, there you aaaaa- What the hell are you doing? Aoc. Aoc! Aoc, stop dancing!!!

        I can’t help it! It’s! to! Catchy!!!

        Oh jeez, how do I even begin to describe this. It’s... Well it’s... You know what, here. Draw your own conclusions.

        I can’t take it anymore! I’m getting us outta here! Hold on tight!!!!

        Owww... Hey, this isn’t the... What the... Hhhuuuuuh?

        Yeah, this isn’t the outside. Looks like we haven’t reached the center of Card’s dream yet.

        You know what. Screw it, I don’t care just get us out.

        I can’t do that, we have to go through all of his layers of dreaming before I can pull us out. It’s like a river that has a current you can’t fight against, and each dream layer is a rock that you can hold onto for a period of time.

        So we have to go through all of his fantasies?

        Yep! Don’t worry, there’s only a couple more layers before we reach his true center. Let’s go!

        ...Ok, you know what, screw it, I'm not even going to bother questioning it. Let’s just keep moving.

        Fine.

       Uhh... Do you see that?

        No, and you don’t either!

        Agreed. There, this is his last level of subconsciousness. This is strange, have you ever seen anything like this?

        What, you mean two heavily barred doors within the depths of someones mind? No. Hey hey hey.

        What?

        What are you doing?

        Uhhh... Getting us out of here? Like you said too, remember?

        Don’t be so hasty, this is the first level of his brain without any obnoxious music. Let’s see what he’s dreaming of.

        Yeah, ok. Which should we take, door number one or door number two?

        He’s behind door two.

        Huh? What makes you so sure?

        It’s all locked from the inside.

        Good point. So how do we get in?

        *Knock, knock, knock* Hey Card, open up!

        “Hi N. So you’re the one I’ve been detecting snooping around in my head.”

        I’m here too!

        “Hey Aoc. Listen, you both can come in but I have a little work that I need to finish up right now.”

        Card was sitting at a wooden desk in a large chair, his jacket hanging up on a coat rack next to the door. He had two large filing cabinets next to him, one on each side. Suddenly he looked up with an annoyed expression on his face.

        “Must you?” he said in a frustrated tone of voice. And yes, I must. With a roll of the eyes and little sigh, he turned his attention back to the file in front of him. Where was I? Oh yes. The filing cabinet to the left of him was divided into six parts, reading from top to bottom as: Magic, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity, Honesty, and Laughter. On his other side was a similar cabinet, this one reading: Chaos, Pride, Honor, Wisdom, Courage, and Strength. Speaking of which, why are you doing this in your head?

        “It’s the safest place for this type of information.” Card said as he rubbed out one of the words he was writing. “Hey make yourself useful and tell me how you spell histrionic.”

        H, I, S, T, R, I, O, N, I, C,

        “Thank you Aoc.” Card got up from his desk and closed the folder, putting it into the drawer marked Generosity, before the drawers and the desk all melted away into the floor, leaving him standing in white space, with only a coatrack for physical company.

        ...

        “...”

        ...Wait, not that way!

        Card just shook his head and attempted to change the subject. “Now then, what brings you-”

        What was up with those weird dreams we saw coming in? The ones with the music and pretty girls?

        “What, I can’t fantasize in my own dreams?” he said with a smirk. And you have some very weird fantasy’s.

        “Hey!” he said indignantly. “I only have a thing for redheads, you have no right to talk mister feather, leather, and chains!” 

        He does have you there N.

        “Anyway, this doesn’t answer the question of why you’re here in my dream? Thanks by the way, now I’m definitely not going to get any decent sleep,” Card grumbled.

        Well at least you have company. Twilight’s awake too. She had a nightmare.

        “Twinkly had a nightmare?” he said with a look of concerned curiosity. And yes, she did. A very strange one at that.

        Trixie is a very deep sleeper.

        Card gave a grunt and pulled his jacket on. “Well, my work is all done. Time for me to wake up. Good day N. Aoc.”

        So long.

        Bye. 

        Well, that’s everypony so I guess we can talk normally now.




-----Great!-----





        As Card woke up, he spent a few seconds lying in bed with a look of concentration on his face. He then gained a very satisfied look, apparently having succeeded in whatever he was attempting. Thus gratified, he arose from his bed and walked towards the staircase leading to the second floor. However, he stopped on the way, apparently having discovered something very interesting to do with a particular section of wall, gazing at it very hard. He strode back to his bed and attempted to move it, a task he found was not without a great deal of difficulty. After some failed attempts to grip the bed and drag it, he settled on a process of standing to the right of it, pushing it ever so slightly with a loud grunt, then moving a bit closer and doing it again. He repeated this until the bed had successfully been moved over three feet to the left of where it was. 

        After a brief three-way staring contest between him, the piece of wall, and his (apparently very heavy) water bed, he gave a nod of approval and headed up the stairs out to a window overlooking a part of the roof. Lying down on that roof was Twilight, taking advantage of the brief clear skies brought on by the weather pegasi’s break from causing the storm to do some stargazing.

> On Screwing and Sleepovers (Finale)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
-----Last time on The Stallion in the Library-----

 









-----And now the story continues-----




        Twilight was sitting down on her little piece of roof, her head tilted up ever so slightly, gazing up at the stars. Her brows were furrowed, her horn giving off it’s distinct purple glow, and her mouth was moving, soundlessly listing off the names of all the stars and constellations. She gave off an air of one trying desperately to distract themselves. Fortunately, that distraction soon presented itself in the form of one very bored stallion.

        “Room for one more?” Card asked Twilight from the window.

        “Oh! Oh, yeah, uhh, sure,” said Twilight, flustered from being drawn so roughly from her thoughts, as she slid over a little to make room. “I was just stargazing.”

        Card came out over the windowsill, lying down on his back next to Twilight. “Couldn’t sleep?”

        “No,” Twilight responded, hoping he wouldn’t push the issue.

        Luckily he didn’t, choosing instead to make an indistinct noise of understanding. “Me neither,” he then said, accompanied by a pair of glares that I think were supposed to be at me and Aoc, but to anyone watching he seemed to be exceptionally angry at the sky and the ground.

        Following this the two gazed up at the sky in silence for a few minutes, until Card broke the silence.

        “It all seems so big from down here, doesn’t it?” Card said wearily

        “Yeah.” Twilight said with a sigh. “I missed this.”

        “Missed what?”

        “This.” Twilight waved her hoof between herself and Card. “Us just being together, relaxing, talking, just the two of us.”

        “Really? But we still do all that.”

        “Yes, we do but... with Trixie around it feels different,” Twilight admitted.

        “What do you mean?” Card asked, “I thought you liked Trixie. At least it certainly seems that way with how much you two talk together.”

        “I do like Trixie, she’s fun, she’s smart, and she does things with magic I could never think of!” Twilight said with a smile.

        “Then what’s the problem?”

        “It’s just...” Twilight said as she took on a downcast look, “You and her spend so much time together, and even when it’s all three of us together it’s her arguing back with you, her making fun of those books with you, her laughing at your dirty jokes while I just sit there blushing like a little filly.” A few tears started collecting around her eyes, “You and her go back and forth, only sometimes remembering that I’m there and... and...” At this point the tears started rolling down her cheeks. “I don’t want it to happen again,” she blubbered out.
 
        Card reached into his jacket and pulled out a few tissues, wiping off her face saying, “I can’t understand you with your voice shaking like that, calm down.” He pulled her into a gentle hug until she stopped crying, and then he said, “Now what do you not want to happen again?”

        “I don’t want you to forget about me.” Twilight said, pulling herself together. “Like my brother did.”

        “I won’t for-” Card stopped mid-comfort, shocked. “Wait, you have a brother? Nevermind, not important.” He shook his head out and let Twilight go. “What happened?”

        Twilight got a far-off look in her eye and, leaning against Card for comfort, started telling her story.

        “When I was little, me and my older brother did everything together. We would go together to see movies when they came out, and he would always let me pick which ones to watch. He would help me out with my homework, even if it meant he wouldn’t have enough time to do his own. He would play house with me, and even let me play with his dolls, although for some reason he got mad when I called them dolls.

        Then, when he started middle school he couldn’t watch me after school anymore, because now his school day went longer than mine. My parents were busy during the day, so they got me a foalsitter.

        And she was nice too! She would give me cookies and play little games with me as she walked me home from school, she even taught me a secret little dance because we were such good friends. It was a good time, she would take me home, or to the park, or to some other fun place and got me home before my brother and parents did. Then at home, I had Shiny to play with. I thought it was perfect, until my brother asked me to let him meet this foalsitter I was talking so much about.

        The second they met, something came over them. My foalsitter started staying a little longer, waiting to speak to my brother. My brother would spend most of our time alone asking me about Caddy. Eventually, Caddy started coming over on the weekend and all three of us would be together. As time went on however, my time being with both of them at once started to become time they spent together using me as an excuse. Soon they started going on dates together, and I was out of the picture entirely. Caddy would still come pick me up on her own, but she started to take me straight back to house more often and would just wait around for my brother to come home so they could head straight out. I lost both of my best friends at once, and they didn’t even seem to notice when I just gave up altogether and started my study of magic, trying to fill up the hole I felt with knowledge.” Twilight lifted her head and looked Card straight in the eyes, Purple meeting blue, as she continued. “And now, with you and Trixie already spending so much time together without me, and spending your time with me still focused on each other... Well…,” she broke off, only for Card to pick up the slack.

        “You’re wondering how long until your magical discussions with Trixie turn into you reading while she waits for me to finish up?” Card said in an understanding tone. Twilight just gave a single sad nod.

        “Well don’t worry!” Card brightly exclaimed. “Trixie isn’t my type, and I have very good reason to believe that I’m not hers. Besides, most of the time we’re in the office either we’re both busy, or she’s talking about her last discussion with you.” Having reassured Twilight to a degree he thought satisfactory, Card lay back down on the roof and started muttering to himself. “7,”

        “What was that?” Twilight asked.

        “Don’t worry about it.” Card said. “6,”

        Twilight cast her mind through the night, remembering how it was. “This was such a good sleepover.”

        “5,”

        “We were able to do all things in the book,”

        “4,”

        “Everypony had fun,”

        “3,”

        “It was all just perfect.”

        “2,”

        Twilight let out a contented sigh, saying “Nothing could ruin this night.”

        “1,”

        Twilight laid down next to Card...

        “0.” 

        *Crash* and a few second later, *Boom*

        Only to immediately spring back up again at hearing the loud noises. “What was that!?” She yelled.

        “That, Twinkly,” Card said as he calmly lifted himself off the roof, “was the crushing sound of irony. And also a tree crashing into your living room.”

        “What!” Twilight jumped back into the house and ran down the stairs, Card slowly following behind. When they got to the living room, there was a rather large tree sticking out of the side wall. The other three mares quickly came down stairs as well, Applejack sporting some rather noticeable tear streaks that she was quickly wiping off.

        “What happened?” Twilight asked.

        “Tree happened,” Rarity dryly stated, before turning to face Applejack. “I was trying to tell you: you’ll pull the tree inside if you do that.”

        “How?” Card asked, standing atop his waterbed that was roughly one foot to the right of fallen tree.

        “I- I don’t know.” A nervous Twilight responded, “The magical lightning rod was supposed to attract all the lightning within a 300 mile radius. Did I do the spell wrong?”

        “Even if you didn’t, the weather ponies are all supposed to avoid aiming lightning at houses,” Card said. “What the hell happened?”




-----Meanwhile, up at Ponyville Weather HQ-----




        “Okay, who’s been misfiring all those lightning bolts?! Is Derpy up here?”




-----Back to the sleepover-----




        “Well, either way we need to fix it.” Trixie said.

        “Yeah, you and Rarity get on that,” Card said. “In the meantime me, Twinkly, and Jackie are going to go see why that rod didn’t work. Twinkly where did you set it up again?”

        “It’s just above the top of the tree,” Twilight responded.

        “Great, let’s go.” 

        “Now just y’all wait ah minute,” Applejack said. “Why do you need me there? Ah should be cleaning up mah own mess.”

        “Because I have a feeling we’ll need you, now come on.” Card grabbed Applejack’s stetson off her head and ran up to the roof, Applejack following close behind with Twilight only slightly farther away. When they reached it, Card threw the stetson back to Applejack and looked up at the large purple magical lightning rod Twilight had cast.

        “Now why’d ya do that for?” An angry Applejack asked as she fixed her hat back onto her head.

        “Fastest way to get you up here, now then let’s have a look,” Card said, gazing at the rod and immediately noting the obvious problem. “Twinkly?”

        “Yes?” Twinkly responded, still looking for a magical problem with her spell.

        “Why isn’t this grounded?”

        “What does that mean?”

        “Nevermind, it all makes sense now.”

        “What, what’s wrong with it?” a slightly distraught Twilight asked.

        Card turned around to face Twilight, saying, “That rod isn’t grounded, meaning the charge has nowhere to go, meaning it now holds the energy of who knows how many lightning bolts.”

        Twilight was completely lost. “Huh?”

        “It’s full. Dangerously full,” Card tried to simplify.

        “Oh.” Realization dawned on Twilight, “Well then I could just dispell it,” she said as she prepared to do just that, only to have her horn smacked by Card.

        “If you do that, then all the charge will go straight into your body,” Card warned. “And kill you.”

        “Oh.” Twilight quickly ceased the casting of her spell. “Well then what do we do?”

        “We disperse the charge.”

        “And how do we do that?”

        “I have no idea,” Card admitted. “But I know who does.” He started rooting around inside his jacket, finally pulling out a large ornate mirror. He stood the mirror up in front of him and then said, “Polar Neutron.”

        Twilight just looked at him with an odd expression on her face. “What are you doing?”

        “Making a- Oh there you are! Hi Tron!” Card said as the mirror darkened and then cleared up, revealing a dark blue pegasus stallion with black hair that stuck out all over the place, and a pair of glasses on his face to go with the very pissed expression he also wore.

        “What the fuck do want?” Tron snapped. “It better be important, I have to give a lecture in...” Tron looked to his right before bringing his attention back to Card, “Four hours.”

        “Oh yeah, It’s like 3 o’clock where you are right now,” Card said as realization dawned on his face.

        “What time is it for you?” Tron asked.

        “Oh, about 3 o’clock.”

        Tron just let out a sigh and facehoofed, then saying, “I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you so much.” 

        “Ahh, that’s just the sleepiness talking.” Card said with a wide grin.

        “Where are you anyway?” Tron started looking around, trying to see behind Card.

        “Oh, uhhh, he’s at my sleepover.” Twilight said with an uncharacteristic blush in an oddly soft tone.

        “Sleepover...” Tron took a moment to compute what she said, before his eyes went wide. “Please tell me you didn’t play a drinking game with him!”

        “N- no. no I didn’t.” 

        “Good.” Tron let out a sigh. “Never drink with him!” Tron pointed a hoof at the still-smirking Card. “He. Does. Not. Get. Drunk. Ever. And he will keep you drinking until you’re funny enough to amuse him.” Tron shot another glare at Card, who just shrugged it off.

        “Oh come on, I’m not that bad.” Card said in his defense.

        “Oh really?” Tron got an incredulous look on his face. “You remember my last birthday party?”

        “I’m surprised you do.”

        “I DON’T!” Tron yelled.

        “Okay, that is not all my fault, you’re the one who tried to drink 24 brain hemorrhages in a row.”

        “Oh you are so full of-” Tron stopped mid-sentence, as he caught a flash of orange and blond. After spending a few moments working his jaw, he eventually settled on just pointing at Applejack and saying, “Is that Bones’ demon filly?”

        “Yeah actually. Turns out her name’s Jackie.” Card said as he turned around and brought Applejack in front of the mirror.

        “Huh. Well... she grew up.” Tron looked like a kid who had just seen his teacher outside of school as he looked Applejack up and down. He looked at Card and said, “We are keeping her away from Odd.”

        “Wait jus’ a min’,” Applejack said. “Y’all know Brick too? Well how is he? Does he still remember me?” Applejack excitedly asked, completely ignored by Tron who muttered under his breath, “And the voice, dear giants.” Then quickly saying. “Oh, we are keeping her far away from Odd.”

        “Be a little hard, considering.” Card said as he gestured towards his neck.

        “Oh? Oh. Interesting…,” Tron trailed off, before he snapped himself back to focus. “What did you call me up for?”

        “Oh yeah,” Card said, remembering why he brought out the two-way. “I need to know how to safely discharge a magical lightning rod that isn’t grounded.”

        “...Okay, first off: Who’s dumb enough to set up a magical lightning rod without grounding it?” Tron asked.

        “I did...” Twilight said sadly.

        “Secondly,” Tron went on, giving no acknowledgement that he heard Twilight speak. “You’re going to need a very long insulated wire, along with something to attach it to the ground with, and sand paper.” 

        “Okay, got’em.” Card said, having pulled out a long coil from his jacket, along with a stake with a loop at the non-pointy end, followed by very coarse sandpaper

        “Perfect. Now, you’re gonna want to drive the stake into the ground, then peel off about a foot a insulation from each end of the coil with the sandpaper. After that you’ll need to tie one of the ends off around the stake, then find someway to touch the lightning rod with the other end without actually touching the rod yourself.” Tron finished, “Think you can do that?”

        “Yeah, yeah I think I can.” Card said as he gave a few slow nods, already beginning to strip off the wire’s insulation.

        “Then fuck off and let me get back to sleep.” Tron let out a yawn. “Transmission over.”

        The mirror blinked, and then went back to doing it’s normal job of being a reflective surface as Card put it flat on the floor and swept his jacket over it, making it disappear.

        “Now then, Jackie.” He pointed at the orange mare, “You are going to lasso that rod with this wire when I yell up here, think you could do that?”

        “Now you hold up, how do y’all know-”

        “Good. Twilight, the second all the charge has left the rod, you’ll have to dispell it.” Card finished striping both ends of the wire and started to head down after tossing one end to the ground below, saying, “Everybody got it? Good.”

        “...Wha jus’ happened?”




-----Meanwhile, downstairs-----




        “And that’s the pesky tree gone!” Trixie said triumphantly.

        “Thank you for your help darling.” Rarity said, “I couldn’t have done it alone.”

        “No problem. Now help me mop up all this water before Card-”

        “Before I...?” Card said as he descended the staircase, “What.” He looked down at the puddle of water that was on the floor, in roughly the same place and of similar volume as his waterbed, which was currently on the floor. And the bookshelves. And the fireplace.

        “Well Card-”

        “You see, darling-”

        Card held up a hoof, cutting them both off. He then let out a sigh. “I don’t have the time to deal with this right now, just clean it all up.” He then left the library entirely, going outside and picking up the wire he dropped. As he took out the stake and started to drive it into ground, he noticed the picnic table that had so vexed him before. Taking a good long look at it, and the stake in his hoof, he got a brilliant idea.




-----Back on the Roof-----




        Applejack was getting impatient. “Hey Card!” she hollered over the edge. “Y’all ready yet!?”

        “Oh! Hee-hee-hee, Yes, yes, YES!” came the reply. “Ready when you are!”

        Applejack, not at all perturbed by this slightly psychotic reply, sent up her makeshift lasso of wire and wrapped it around the magical lightning rod. Almost immediately the purple glow around the rod went out, although that may have just been in contrast to the sudden huge orange glow that was now right behind Applejack.

        “BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!” Card screamed out laughing. “FOOLISH TABLE!!!! That is your punishment for resisting! What do you say to that!” he said.

        As if in response, the mysterious and now ablaze picnic table let out a spark that landed square in between Card’s eyes. He responded with the expected subtlety.

        “OWWWWWWWW!!!” he screamed as he rolled on the ground. Eventually the spark went out, and he looked over at what had become just a small indistinguishable figure in a mid-size fire.”Victory is mine!”  He then looked around him and noticed the four mares standing around him, laughing. He joined in with a few chuckles before saying, “Does anyone still have those marshmallows?”




-----Several Bags of Rarity’s Family Later-----




        “Is it bigger then a barn?” Applejack asked

        “Nope!” Twilight said with a giggle.

        “Is it smaller then a saddle?” Rarity asked. Why do these ponies have saddles if there are no humans here? Anyways.

        “No!” Twilight said as she rotated her marshmallow stick, “Only three of your twenty questions left.” Wait, they’re playing twenty questions and just nowgot to asking about the size? They are the worst players ever!

        “Is it alive?” Trixie asked.

        “Yep! Only two left!”

        “Is it... a six-legged pony with a purple polka-dotted mane and shootin' stars comin' out of his eyes?” Applejack asked.

        “Who flies through the air all over the world to hide magic, sparkly eggs?” Rarity chimed in.

        “Yep!” Twilight said.

        “Really?!” an incredulous Trixie asked.

        “Noa” Twilight said as she took her perfectly golden-brown marshmallow out of the flames. “Oy on reft,” she tried to say around a mouth full of marshmallow.

        “Well, ah’m stumped.”

        “As am I.”

        “Same here.”

        The three mares turned their heads to Card, who was busy with the difficult task of balancing fifteen marshmallow sticks in his mouth. “Huh?” he said as he noticed the attention he was now getting.

        “Well?” Rarity asked.

        “Well what?” Card replied.

        “What do you think it is?” Trixie said.

        “Oh is that all?” Card turned his attention to his marshmallows that were close to being that perfect shade of charred black. “It’s Spike.”

        “What! No way.” Applejack scoffed.

        “You’re right!” Twilight said. “For real!”

        “Ok, how did you figure that out?” Trixie said with a sidelong glance.

        “I didn’t, I just said the first thing that popped into my head that was bigger then a saddle, but smaller than a barn.” Card pulled his marshmallows out of the fire, noticing something interesting as he lifted his head up. “Hey Jackie.”

        “Yeah?”

        “Doesn’t farmwork usually start with the sunrise?” Card asked as he pointed to the rising sun.

        “Ah, horseapples!” Applejack swore as she rushed off to her farm. “See y’all later!” she called out over her shoulder.

        “Well, I had better start getting ready at the boutique. So long.” Rarity left.

        “Yeah, and I’ve got to go feed Ike,” Card said as he gulped down his marshmallows. “See you both later.” Card left.

        Trixie left as well, after making her goodbyes to Twilight to get ready for her work day.

        Twilight put out what was left of the bonfire and went inside to write her letter to Celestia. After she was done, she heard a knock at the door.

        “Hey, Twi, I’m back!” She heard Spike say as he walked in the door. “Do you know what happened to the picnic table I ordered?” Spike asked.

        With a laugh, Twilight began recounting the events of the night to her little dragon.
> Enter the Everfree
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        It’s all mah fault, Apple Bloom thought as she walked along the forest path. If Ah hadn’t tried to follow Zecora then none of this would ‘ave happened. No, no! Ah can’t think like that right now. Remember what Applejack always says. ‘If you make a mess, yah gotta clean it up.’  But what if she tries to put a curse on me? What if she turns me into a frog, or a newt, or a beatle. What if she just laughs at me? Apple Bloom’s thoughts were so consumed by this that she didn’t realize that she was at Zecora’s hut until she almost ran into the front door.

        Well, Apple Bloom thought with a gulp. Ah guess I better start cleanin up that mess. Summoning all of her courage, Apple Bloom lifted her front hoof and knocked at the door. Once, twice, three times she knocked with no response. Maybe she’s not home? Apple Bloom cautiously thought before suddenly the door opened, and standing there above her was Zecora. 

        They stood there, just looking at each other while Apple bloom tried to use whatever courage she hadn’t used up on opening the door to speak. After a few seconds passed Zecora smiled at the little filly. 

        “Step right in little one, I have some tea that’s almost done,” Zecora said as she stepped aside to let the filly in. Apple Bloom was so stunned by this display, so far from what she was expecting, that her automatic responses took over.

        “Thank you kindly,” Apple Bloom said as she walked through the door. Upon entering the door she was struck by just how alien the place looked. The masks on the wall, the cauldron on the floor, the figure laying down, and the rows of shelves with unmarked bottles, along with many other odd trinkets here and there.

        “You must have come for a reason so why don’t you sit,” Zecora said, startling Apple Bloom out of her haze. The zebra continued speaking. “I’ll make you a cup of tea while you tell me about it.” Zecora walked off to an alcove where a kettle was steaming.

        “I recommend you accept the offer.” The figure on the floor spoke, startling Apple Bloom again. “Zecora makes a mean cuppa.” 

        “O- ok. Thank you.” Apple Bloom hastily said as she sat down on the floor. “Wh- who are you?”

        “Isn’t it rude to ask someone else’s name before giving your own?” The figure asked amusedly. 

        “S- sorry, mister!” The slightly scared filly responded.

        “Oh calm down, I was just kidding.” The figure turned to give the filly a comforting smile. “My name’s Card.”

        “Ah’m Apple Bloom.” 

        “Nice to meet you.” Card said. “Now then, looks like the tea’s done.”

        “Indeed it is,” Zecora said as she emerged from her alcove carrying a kettle and three cups. After she placed a cup in front of every pony present, she took her own seat across from Apple Bloom. “Now then little Apple Bloom, tell me why you’re in such a gloom.”

        “Well it all started when mah big sister, Applejack, woke up today.”




-----Flashback time!-----




        Ah was getting up out of bed, ready to start work on mah chores for the day, when Ah heard a tiny little scream comin’ from Applejack’s room. I ran outta my room faster ‘en Ah’ve ever moved before, but when Ah got to her room Ah didn’t see Applejack anywhere. Ah started looking around until Ah heard a little grunt coming from her bed. Ah took a closer look and saw a teeny tiny little Applejack hanging off her blanket, holding on with her teeth. Ah quickly grabbed her up and put her onto her bed.

        “Thanks sugarcube.” She said as moved her jaw ‘round. “Ah don’ know how long Ah coulda hung on.” Then she started looking around her all panicky like. “Where is it? Where is it?!” 

        “Where’s what?” Ah asked.

        “Mah hat! Ah can’t find it!”

        “It’s right over here.” Ah picked her hat up off the floor

        “Thank Celestia!” She said, then she turned kinda sheepish. “Ah, sugarcube.?”

        “Yeah?”

        “Could y’all put the hat on me?” 

        “Uhm, Ah don’t think it’ll fit.”

        “Just trust me.” Ah still wasn’t sure, but when that hat touched her head it shrunk to fit her perfectly. After she spent some time making sure the hat was on right, Ah asked her what happened.

        “Ah don’t know, but Ah bet that Twilight does.” So, Ah picked her up and carried her over to Twilight’s house. Oh, Ah don’t know if you know her, but Twilight is-

        “I know Twinkly quite well, and I’ve been telling Zecora about her,” Card interrupted. “Along with your sister.”

        Good, then Ah don’t have to tell you where we went. But, when we got there Ah found out that Applejack wasn’t the only one who was having problems. Rarity had her mane in a mess, Rainbow Dash had her wings on backwards, Pinkie had a swollen tongue and it was all orange and covered in blue polka dots. Oh, they’re-

        “I know who they are too,” Card said. “I’ve told Zecora about them as well.”

        Well they were all standing around outside Twilight’s door, along with Fluttershy and a Blue mare who Ah didn’t know, but apparently mah sister did. After they all said their hello’s and such, they started talking ‘bout what happened, and they all said it was Zecora’s fault. Eventually Twilight came down, her horn was all messed up though,  and let them us in and she and that blue mare-

        “I believe that mare of blue, is Trixie who you are referring to.” Zecora was the one to interrupt this time.

        “Well done.” Card said.

        ...Well anyways, Twilight and Trixie started tearing through Twilight’s books, trying to find out what happened. Everypony started to yell and scream that it was Zecora, and that they should come and find out what happened, but Twilight kept saying that curses don’t exist and there was some other reason for all of it, and Ah just started thinking that if it was Zecora who did it, that it was mah responsibility to come ask her for help since if it wasn’t for me then they wouldn’ be in this mess. So Ah came here.




-----Flashback Over!-----




        “Can ya help them?” Apple Bloom asked Zecora, who just gave the filly a small smile and said,

        “Little one, don’t be afraid. I would be happy to give your friends aid.” Zecora moved over to her shelf of bottle and, after selecting a few, moved over to her cauldron and got to work. “Their affliction is easy enough to remedy, poison joke cure is an old recipe passed down in my family.”

        “Thank ya so much!” An overjoyed Apple Bloom said. 

        While the mare’s got busy fixing up the antidote, Card was staying strangely silent. He had a look of deep thought on his face, only broken up momentarily when he took sips of his tea. 




-----Meanwhile, Outside The Hut-----




        “Oh, I look horrible!” Rarity whined, referring to her already messed up mane and coat along with the various and sundry leaves and twigs that had gotten caught in it as they walked to Zecora’s hut.

        “Plis place plooks horrible!” Pinkie Pie slurred as she lifted up part of Rarity’s hair to let her see. 

        “Oh my!” Rarity gasped. “That place really does look horrible! Nice decorations though, if you like creepy.”

        “What’s Card doing there?” Trixie asked as she took a closer look.

        The assembled mare’s collectively let out some form of “What!?” and looked through the window.

        “Hah!” Rainbow Dash said. “I knew he wasn’t any good!”

        “What?” Twilight, Trixie, and Applejack all turned and asked.

        “Well, why else would he be hanging out with an evil enchantress like Zecora?” Rainbow Dash said in attempt to justify herself.

        Pinkie Pie started to sing, then realized she couldn’t and turned to Fluttershy. Fluttershy let out a sigh and began to sing Pinkie’s song as Pinkie danced. The other mares ignored the events, Applejack beginning to talk.

        “Now just you hold on a second! Card might be a touch odd, but he ain’t evil!”

        “Well to be fair darling, how much do we really know about Card?” Rarity asked.

        “Ah know enough!” You know, Applejack’s defense of Card would be a lot more impressive if it didn’t sound like she was getting helium pumped into her lungs. Fortunately Trixie joined in.

        “Yeah. Card hasn’t done anything wrong since I’ve met him, and I’ve probably spent the most time with him out of anypony here.”

        “Look, it doesn’t matter why Card is here,” Twilight said, trying to mediate between her friends. “What matters is that Zecora is here, and if Card’s with her she can’t be all bad.”

        “Oh come on, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash said. “Look at the signs!”

        “Scary masks, confusing incantations, and a big bubbling cauldron?” Twilight let out a sigh. “Maybe she’s just making soup.”

        “Yeah? Then where’s Apple Bloom?” Rainbow Dash asked.

        “Shh shh shh,” Pinkie Pie went, trying to shush the other mares. “Shecora’s joing sometind.”




-----Inside the hut-----




        Zecora stuck her hoof in the cauldron. “Mmm! The perfect temperature for ponies I presume. Now where is that little Apple Bloom?” Zecora asked as she looked around. 

        “Ah’m in here!” Apple Bloom called out from the kitchen alcove, “Ah’m just refilling the kettle, Card drank all’a the tea!”

        Speaking of Card, he chose this moment to stand up and move over to the cauldron and began pushing it.

        “My friend, why my work do you disturb?” a confused Zecora asked. “Is there something that has you perturbed?”

        Card didn’t respond and just gave the cauldron one last push. “Okay,” he said as he looked between the door and where the cauldron was. “Here should be safe.”

        Apple Bloom spoke from the kitchen. “What’re y’all talking ‘bou-”

        “AH’M COMIN’ APPLE BLOOM!”

        “AAAAHH!!!”

        Rainbow Dash and Applejack came barging in. Applejack ran straight to Zecora and climbed up her, pulling her hair, biting her ears, grabbing whatever she could reach and pulling. Rainbow Dash flew in and through where the cauldron used to be standing. As she tried to turn around she was stopped by a yank on her tail.

        “Hello Rainy,” Card said with a little amused smirk on his face and his hoof stomping on Rainbow Dash’s tail. “We really must stop meeting like this.”

        “Let! Me! Go!” Rainbow Dash said as she struggled to free herself.

        “No.”

        The rest of the mares came in, led by Twilight. “We’re onto you Zecora! I didn’t want to believe you cursed us, but the evidence is overwhelming!” Twilight said, followed by:

        “You made me look ridiculous!” Rarity,

        “You made me sound ridiculous!” Fluttershy,

        “Bua mafre joinak hicicuas!” And Pinkie Pie.

        Zecora just took a long slow look at all the ponies assembled, then turned to Card and said, “These are the ones who you wanted me to meet? They, who upon meeting me immediately mistreat?”

        “Mistreat?!” Rainbow Dash said indignantly, “You cursed us, and are trying to eat Apple Bloom!”

        “What’s going on out here?” Apple Bloom said as she emerged from the kitchen.

        “Apple Bloom! You’re alive!” Applejack jumped off of Zecora and ran in front of her sister. “Don’t you dare touch her!”

        “Why wouldn’t Ah be alive?” Apple Bloom asked as she looked down at her sister.

        “Because Zecora is an evil enchantress who cursed us and was gonna cook you up into soup!” Twilight shouted.

        “Enchantress?” Card asked, not taking any weight off of Rainbow Dash’s tail as he turned to face Zecora. “Wait, I thought you were a shaman?”

        Zecora managed a pretty good nod of affirmation through her laughter, while Apple Bloom began speaking.

        “Oh Twilight. Did those silly fillies finally get in yer head? You know there's no such thing as a curse.”

        “Apple Bloom, sweetie,” Twilight said. “You can't just stand there and tell me this isn't a curse.”

        “Actually, you’re both wrong,” Card said. “Curses do exist, but this isn’t one. What it is, is poison joke.”

        Zecora nodded in agreement, saying, “If you will remember back, the words I spoke were quite exact.”

        “Beware, beware you pony folk. Those leaves of blue are not a joke,” Twilight recited. “Wait, those leaves are what did this to us?”

        “Yep,” Card said. “They’re called poison joke. Picture Pie, only in plant form and you’re pretty close to what they are and do. Though they thankfully are stuck in one place. Well, usually.” Card then turned to Rainbow Dash who was sitting on the floor and pouting. “I’m going to step off now.” Card did so and walked over to where Trixie was standing, watching the proceedings and enjoying the show. Card reached into his jacket and started to hand things to her, whispering instructions while the mares kept talking to each other. “You need to fill this up and then...”

        As Card and Trixie whispered and the others talked, Rainbow Dash skulked out the door. He embarrassed me, he made me yank out almost half of my tail, he turned some of my best friends against me and I can’t even fly home because of these stupid messed up wings! Rainbow Dash was consumed with thoughts like these as she walked back from the hut. I can understand Twilight, she’s been spending so much time with him the she’s started talking like him, but Applejack! She’s been like my best friend since I moved here. I haven’t seen Card help her out with the harvest, or make sure her farms get all the rain she needs, or watch over her for a full week when she got sick so her brother could keep the farm running. What’s Card done for her? Oh, he found her stupid dog, woop-de-fucking-do! Rainbow Dash let out a scoff. Then she let out a sigh, as she looked at the ground with sorrow-filled eyes. I guess being the element of loyalty doesn’t work both ways. Rainbow Dash was so distracted by her thoughts that she didn’t even notice she was walking deeper, and deeper, and deeper into the Everfree Forest.

> Step into my parlour
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        This has been a bad day for me. First I wake up and I can’t do magic, then my friends all come in the middle of the morning and it turns out that they had all been struck by some kind of disease as well and assumed I knew how to fix it. The second I told them that I didn’t, they all started freaking out and made it so hard for me to concentrate on trying to find a cure that it took me twice as long as it should have, even with the help of both Spike and Trixie. Of course, since I couldn’t find one they all started to think it was a curse and I got swept up in it! I even went so far as bursting in on poor Zecora, who was just trying to help us get out of a situation we wouldn’t even be in if we had listened to her advice. If the princess could see me now, she would be so disappointed. Oh well, I should at least ask Zecora how she made the cure. After all, it might come in handy someday. I broke in on the conversation she was having with Rarity, Pinkie, and Fluttershy about her choices in decorations.

        “Excuse me Zecora, but how did you make the cure?” I asked. “I couldn’t find a remedy in all of the books I checked, or even any mention of what poison joke was.”

        Zecora, still explaining the meanings behind all of her masks to Rarity, moved over to a shelf filled with books and pulled one out. “Here is the book, you see. Sad that you lack it in your library.” She said as she gave me the book. I took a look down at the title.

        Supernaturals: Natural remedies and cure-alls that are simply super!

        ...Of course. I’m starting to understand that concept Card calls irony. “Actually, I do have this book, but I didn't look inside because the title was so... Weird,” I say, trying to fight my blush. “Supernaturals: Natural remedies and cure-alls that are simply super. I...I... I'm so sorry Zecora. I had the answer the whole time, if only I had bothered to look inside.” I thanked Celestia that she wasn’t here to see this.

        Zecora gave a chuckle, “Maybe next time you will take a second look, and not judge the cover of the book.” 

        I told Spike to take Applebloom home and watch the library until I came back. When he left I tried to ask Zecora how to use the cure, but was interrupted by a shriek  from Rarity.

        “Stop splashing me! What are you doing?!” Rarity cried.

        “Testing out the cure,” Trixie replied as she kept on spraying every inch of Rarity with the spray bottle she was levitating.

        Whatever Rarity would have said in response to that, I will never know because suddenly her hair and fur started moving. Quickly it began going backwards through it knots, each individual strand getting untangled and straightening itself out until Rarity was left with a completely straight mane and tail, along with a flawlessly groomed coat.

        We all stood in shocked silence for a few seconds, broken, naturally, by Pinkie Pie.

        “Thaity, hur hall hack wo tormal!” At least that’s what I heard, what she probably said was more along the lines of, “Rarity, you’re all back to normal!”

        “Yes darling, I believe it is!” Rarity said. “No more getting caught on every single loose branch in the forest, and I can finally see again!” While Rarity started checking herself all over to make sure it was all gone, and Trixie moved over to start spraying the rest, I noticed Zecora speaking to Card with a confused look on her face.

        “How did you make the potion so quickly take away her defects?” She asked, “Usually it requires a long bubble bath to start feeling the effects.”

        “Well thats the thing about old remedies, usually there have been improvements made to them over time. I try to be familiar with all the latest versions,” Card responded. “For this specific case I just threw in some of this.” Card reached into his front pocket and pulled out a small bag, half full of some kind of powder. He suddenly turned to face me, saying, “Twinkly it’ll be easier to hear us talking if you’re not standing fifteen feet away.”

        Fighting the embarrassment I felt at being caught attempting to eavesdrop, I walked over to where they stood. “Sorry.” I mumbled out. I don’t know why, but Card can make me feel like I was a little filly who got caught stealing from the cookie jar.

        “No problem, anyways,” He turned back to face Zecora, “It’s a reaction agent, it speeds up the reaction between the patients skin and the cure, meaning they don’t have to soak in it for hours.”

        I was about to ask him what that all meant, but I was interrupted by a sudden shrill scream from outside. Turning around, I saw: a full-sized Applejack, Pinkie with her tongue back in her mouth along with a very strange expression on her face, and a smile on Fluttershy which I assumed meant her voice was back to normal. Before I could even get past the first syllable in “What was that?”, Applejack went racing out the door shouting, “That’s Dashie!” 

        All of us quickly went galloping out the door after her, Trixie not even having enough time to remove the spell on the spray bottle that made it follow her. Through the forest we ran, following cries for help that kept on getting fainter and fainter, until they stopped altogether. 
The sudden quiet made us double our efforts to reach our friend, and finally we came upon Rainbow Dash’s body, prone and bruised.

        Standing over it were two manticores, both fairly wounded and both salivating. Quickly Applejack and Rarity ran towards them. Applejack skidded to a stop in front of one, quickly turning and bucking it in the jaw to send it flying back, Rarity knocking her target back as well with a well placed strike from her front hoof to its stomach. The manticores quickly shook the stun off, only to run away when they saw that there were now six mares blocking the path to their would-be prey.

        As soon as we were all satisfied that the manticores weren’t coming back, we turned our attention to Rainbow Dash.

        “We need to get her to the hospital!” Applejack yelled as she moved to lift Rainbow Dash onto her back.

        “No!” Rarity shouted, “It might be too dangerous to move her right now!”

        “If we do nothing, she might die!”

        “Wait!” I said, getting in between the two as an idea struck me. “Fluttershy, you fix up the animals that come to you, could you examine Rainbow Dash?” I asked the shy Pinkette.

        “I... I’ll try.” Fluttershy muttered as she quickly lowered herself to inspect Rainbow Dash’s wounds.

        “Well, Fluttershy? How is it?” Applejack asked, her voice loaded with concern and panic.

        “I can’t tell, her backwards wings are making it hard to see.” Fluttershy mumbled. Trixie quickly levitated the spray bottle over to Rainbow Dash and quickly applied the cure to her putting her wings rightside up, taking some time afterwards to fix my messed up horn. Fluttershy continued her examination, her face getting visibly more relieved as she moved along Rainbow’s body. “It looks good, none of the bruises are to bad and she has no broken bones.” 

        At this remark, all of let out a sigh of relief until Fluttershy suddenly stopped cold. Putting her head right next to Rainbow’s back, she inspected two puncture wounds closely, even smelling them. As she was doing this tears started to build up in her eyes. 

        “What Fluttershy? What is it?” Applejack nervously asked.

        “She... she got bit.”

        “So? It’s just a little bite right?” Rarity said, trying to be optimistic. “Right?”

        “It’s not just the bite, is it?” I asked as I lowered my head.

        Fluttershy shook her head, “They got their venom into her. Whenever I see an animal with manticore venom in them... they- they-” Fluttershy finally just broke down crying.

        “...How long?” Trixie asked, her eyes locked on the two marks.

        “Usually it’s only half an hour,” Fluttershy said in between sobs.

        “Isn’t there an antidote?” Applejack asked.

        “Ye- Yes. But it’s so expensive that the hospital can’t carry it.” At this last piece of news, everypony started crying, our sobs the only sound in forest until.

        “She’s not kidding about the price,” Card said as he strolled out from between the trees. “It costs me like, 4000 bits per dose. Oh yeah, I need that back.” He strolled over to Trixie and bit the spray bottle out of the air, throwing it into his jacket. “Now then, I will leave you mares to your mourning. Good-bye.” He turned to leave, only to stop midway and turn his attention to the sky. He spent several seconds just standing there, until finally he spoke again.

        “Well yeah, I could, but it’s so expensive, and I would have to take them home, and you know how annoying that is,” he said to the sky, pausing as though he was waiting for an answer. Apparently he got one, because then he started speaking again.

        “Okay, you have a point, but still- Oh don’t you start!” he said as he turned his attention towards the ground. “Well I- True, bu- But if- Even so-” He spoke, switching his attention between the sky and the ground each time he tried to speak, getting a steadily more annoyed look on his face as he did so. “If she- To be fa- Look can I please finish a sentence!” he suddenly yelled, pausing for a moment with his ears cocked. “Thank you. Jeez,” he said with a sigh. 

        By this point everypony was looking at him, and I was weirded out enough to try talking to him. “Uhh Card? Who are you talking to?” I asked.

        “Not you,” he said with a dismissive wave in my general direction. Turning his attention back to the sky, he sighed. “Now then, as I was saying, I could cure her but-”

        “What?!” All of us yelled out at once, leading Card to just throw up his hoofs in an ‘I give up!’ pose. Fluttershy stood up from where she was crying and walked towards Card with a expression of pure anger on her face. 

        “Now listen here!” she yelled as she fixed a glare on him so powerful that it made me flinch, and I was behind her! “How dare you try to walk away from a dying mare you can help! You will take her to your special house, you will give her the cure, and you WILL make her better! Do. You. Un. Der. Stand,” she said as she shoved her face closer and closer to Card’s with every syllable.

        While she talked, I heard Rarity whisper, “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her use such a strong stare before!”

        Card’s lips started to quiver, and his eyes started to water. Taking this as a sign of submission, Fluttershy turned around with a satisfied look on her face only to lose it when she heard a sound coming from behind her.

        “Pfft~” Card let out, “Ha, ha, ha, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!” Card started laughing uproariously. Fluttershy tried to fix another glare onto him, but that just made him laugh harder. As Card laughed, Fluttershy got a sad look on her face that just got deeper with every “ha” he let out. When it got to the point that she looked like she was about to start crying, the laughs started to taper off.

        “Ha, okay, pick up, ha, Rainy,” he said in between chuckles, “That was worth the 4000 bits.” He started walking off again, only to turn around when he reached the edge of the clearing. “Well, do you want her cured or not? Follow me!” After a brief shared glance between the six of us, Pinkie Pie went after him. Soon Fluttershy and Trixie followed, even Rarity despite her look of apprehension. As Applejack quickly placed Rainbow dash onto her back, we started off walking through the thick of the forest. 

        As he lead us deeper and deeper into the Everfree, I became aware of a pressure or rather a lack thereof. You see, I had been fairly deep in the Everfree before this and throughout the whole trip there was a sense that on the other side of every tree was something just waiting to jump out, to attack me and my friends, but this time it just wasn’t there. At least, not in full. I still felt like something was around that wanted to jump out at me but it seemed almost... afraid, I guess. I thought that maybe they just remembered us from the last time we were here, but while we were walking I began to concentrate on the feeling, trying to distract myself from the fact that my friend might die at any moment. What I noticed was another strange aura mixing with the first, but this one wasn’t coming from the forest. 

        It was an aura of protection, of warmth, but not of kindness. It was almost like it was saying, ‘As long as you are in my range I will watch over you, but only because I simply do not care enough to adjust my range to exclude you.” I found this even more unsettling than the aura of constant danger, because at least that one took notice of you as opposed to just making yourself feel worthless.

        While I was trying to ignore just how meaningless it made me feel, I was granted a welcome distraction in the form of Rarity speaking up, trying to fill the sorrowful silence with conversation

        “Umm, excuse me Card.” Rarity said as she ducked a tree branch, making sure not to get any leaves in her mane, “But where exactly are you taking us?”

        “To my house.” He called back.

        “Well, if you don’t mind me asking, where is that?”

        “Near the center of the forest.”

        “Near the center?”

        “Well, it’s kinda hard to pin down the exact center when the damn thing keeps m- DAMNIT!” He suddenly stopped and cried out.

        “What? What’s wrong?” Applejack asked.

        Card just let out a short scream of annoyance, then he kept walking.

        Applejack quickly caught up to him and asked if there was something wrong with the cure.

        “No, no it’s not that.” Card said as he waved her out of his way, “It’s just that I just realized that the manticores were trying to hunt outside of their territories, which means I have to go talk with them later.” He let out another sigh, bring up one hoof to massage his forehead. “You know, for a vacation I’m really not getting much of a break.” With that non sequitur out of the way, silence fell back over our group as we continued walking, with the next interruption coming a few minutes later when Rarity spoke up again in a whisper.

        “Beg pardon darlings, but does this seem familiar to all of you?” She asked.

        “Now that yah mention it, yeah,” Applejack responded as she looked around, taking care to not let Rainbow Dash fall off.

        “Same here,” I said.

        “Me too.” Fluttershy spoke up, opening her mouth for the first time since we got moving.

        “We’ve been walking through a forest, the scenery hasn’t changed in fifteen minutes.” Trixie said, “It all feels pretty familiar by now.”

        “Maybe,” Rarity admitted. “But I don’t think so. Pinkie, what do you think?” Rarity waited a few seconds but got no response. I looked over at Pinkie Pie and she was walking like she was in a trance, her eyes locked on Card. Applejack nudged Pinkie, snapping her out of... whatever she was doing. When Rarity saw that Pinkie’s attention was on her, she repeated her question.

        “Yeah, don’t you remember?” Pinkie Pie asked, but she sounded distracted. “This is the place that used to have all those mean nasty little ghosties.”

        As soon as she said that, I started looking around. Upon closer inspection I could see where the trees could look like scary faces and freshly turned ground that looked like it had been ripped out recently, above where the trees roots would be. I picked up my pace, not wanting to go through the experience again. Fortunately, we were soon out of the forest and came upon a very familiar river.

        “Oh, this where that nice sea serpent lives,” Rarity said. “I wonder if his mustache came back in nicely.”

        “So Card, which way from here?” I asked.

        “Straight.” Card responded.

        “Wha’?” Applejack asked as she stopped in her tracks. “Yah mean to say Ah need to swim across that river while carrying Rainbow?”

        “Nope.” Card walked over to the riverbank but when he reached the edge he jumped straight into the river. At least that’s what I thought was going to happen, but rather than fall into the icy waters he stopped roughly six inches away from the water’s surface. He quickly made a series of jumps from one invisible platform to the next, reaching the other side of the river in a few seconds. “There, now you go.”

        “Okey-Dokie!” Pinkie Pie walked up to the river and made the exact same series of jumps as Card, taking only a slightly longer time to reach to other end then he did.

        We all stood in stunned shock, unable to believe what we had just seen, until Card spoke again. 

        “Well? What are you waiting for, come on, jump across.” He said with a faint note of annoyance in his voice.

        “Jump acro- On what!” Trixie yelled, giving voice to what I’m sure we were all thinking.

        “What do mean?”

        “There is nothing there!”

        Card got a look of confusion on his face, “What are you- Oh!” Comprehension dawned on his face as he jumped back across. He walked over to where Applejack was standing, his mouth wide open.

        “Uhh Card, what are y’all doing?” She asked.

        Card just walked around to her side and looked at Rainbow Dash’s wing, suddenly he said, “No, the color’s are too similar.” He shook his head and looked around, his gaze eventually landing on Fluttershy.

        As he walked over to her, the shy yellow pegasus started shrinking away from him. She looked like she thought he was going eat her. Well she wasn’t far off, as Card quickly went to her side and started yanking out feathers with his mouth, each tug punctuated by a little squeak from the petrified mare. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven feathers he pulled off, and when he was done he walked back over to the river bank and started jumping again with his mouth now full of yellow. This time he put down a feather on each space he landed on, and moved it over to the center of where he was standing before he jumped to the next place. When he got back to the side of the river where Pinkie was standing, he called out for us to jump across. 

        We all looked at each other, none of us wanting to be the one to see if this would work or not. Surprisingly, Fluttershy was the one that stepped up, with a determined look on her face. She began hopping across the river to each of her feathers, making little noises each time she landed. 

        Once she had made it across we all quickly followed, first me, then Trixie, Rarity, and finally Applejack. After we had all made it across, Card started walking again but fortunately we were now in a fairly open area and the aura of fear started to dissipate. We kept walking along until I came across something I hadn’t expected to ever see again, and was in the wrong place regardless.

        “What are the old castle ruins doing here?” I asked. I was sure that they weren’t in a large open field the last time I saw them.

        “Darling, forget about those old ruins,” Rarity said with a voice coated in want. “Look at that!” I followed where she was pointing her hoof until I saw it. A massive mansion, easily as big and expensive looking as any you would find in Canterlot. The sight floored me, I was in shock until I noticed that Card was opening up the doors. We all quickly rushed inside, straight into a very large room with a few massive chairs and a very long couch. I thought I saw a blue blob, but when I looked again I couldn’t find anything.

        “Okay, Jackie put Rainy down here,” Card said with a gesture towards the massive couch. “I’m going to go get what we need to prepare the antidote. Be back soon.” And with a wave he opened a door and disappeared into another room. As soon as he left, we all started talking.

        “How did he get this place?” Rarity asked.

        “How did we get across the river?” I asked.

        “I wonder if he’ll be willing to show us around later?” That was Trixie.

        “I hope he’ll be able to fix Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy spoke in that small voice of hers. The sudden reminder of why we came hit us all hard and left us speechless. As one we all turned to where Rainbow Dash was lying down and saw her drenched in sweat, heard her faint breaths. All the good cheer we felt evaporated, and a suffocating silence fell over us. For endless seconds we stood there, motionless, contemplating what might happen, until a door slammed and Card stepped through carrying a bucket loaded with medical equipment.

        At the time a small part of me was very confused as to how he left through a door on the right but came back from the left, but most of me was happy about seeing him return holding a way to save my friend. He quickly shooed us away from our spots in front of Rainbow Dash and got to work with a look of complete focus I had never seen on him before. He quickly took out a marker, marking a spot on her neck with an X. Then he turned and asked Trixie to take one of the syringes he had and to stick it in that spot and draw some of her blood out. I was briefly insulted by the fact that he had asked Trixie and not me, but thinking about it it does make sense. After all, she is his secretary and he’s probably used to having her help with any  problematic patients. Anyways, once the syringe was filled he poured it all out into a vial that contained some clear liquid. When all the blood was in the liquid, he took out a small machine and placed the vial into one of the little metal rings on it. He turned the machine on, which made it spin and the vial was flung around in a circle. He sat down and began to watch it go.

        After a few moments of nothing happening Applejack spoke up. “Well?” she said.

        “Well... What?” Card asked, not taking his eyes off of the spinning machine where the liquid in the vial was starting to turn a very dark pink.

        “Shouldn’t ya do something?” Applejack sounded on the verge of hysterics. “Ah mean It’s almost been an hour, Rainbow could die at any moment!”

        Card scoffed, “Yeah, if she weighed about 50 pounds and had the metabolism of a rabbit. Manticore venom takes at least three hours to be fatal.”

        “What? Isn’t it kinda useless as a weapon then?” Trixie asked.

        “If you plan to directly kill, then yes. Manticore venom isn’t meant to be a directly fatal strike, it’s meant to subdue prey with the least amount of damage to the tasty bits as possible.” Card started doing his weird little thing his does to help him remember if he’s forgotten something, where he sort of sweeps his eyes back and forth while smacking one of his front hoofs against the other. He apparently didn’t think of anything as he got up and started walking out the door.

        “Now hold up,” Applejack said. “Where in tarnation are ya going?”

        Card was unable to answer as he was out of the room by the time she finished talking. With Card out of the picture for a moment, we started talking.

        “Do you really think he can do it?” Fluttershy asked, repeating her earlier question in her quiet little mumble, her eyes still locked on Rainbow Dash’s still form.

        “He said he could, and ah believe him. He don’ strike me as a liar.” Applejack responded.

        “What if he doesn’t think he’s lying?” Rarity said.

        “Wha’d ya mean?”

        “Well, with all due respect to our host we all saw him arguing with nothing earlier... and he was losing.”

        “Maybe he was just thinking out loud, I do the same sometimes,” I said, in defense of my friend.

        “Yeah, besides he talks like that all the time,” Trixie added. “He even has names for them.” Trixie was not helping.

        “Eve-” Rarity’s response was cut off by Card re-entering the room, this time through the same door he used to leave, eating a green apple.

        He took a few steps in the room, before his eyes went wide. With an exclamation of, “Rope!” He quickly turned around and left again, all of us watching him with varying degrees of confusion.

        “...Even so,” Rarity said as she snapped herself out of her confusion, “Darling, I saw him declare a vendetta against a picnic table, then set it ablaze with lightning!” Speaking of, I still need to get a new picnic table for Spike. He apparently was planning on using the last one for a private something-or-other with Rarity. Yeah I know it’s rude, but paying attention to Spike every time he talked about Rarity would take up so much of my time, I would have no time to study. Anyways, Spike was so mad about it he tried to tackle Card the next time he came over. It went about as well as you would think it did. Anyways, back to what Rarity was saying. 

        “Not to mention he chooses to live in one of the most dangerous places in Equestria. Twilight, even you have to admit he’s not normal.”

        Rarity’s words left me uneasy. So uneasy in fact, that I wasn’t able to come up with answer to give her. Fortunately I was saved from just standing there like a foal called up to front of the class- Dear Celestia, Card is rubbing off on me! Anyways, Trixie spoke up.

        “No, Card isn’t normal. In fact, he’s about as normal as a purple apple at a vegetable market.” He’s rubbing off on Trixie even more.  “But even so, you should hope that he knows what he’s doing. Because if he doesn’t, Rainbow Dash dies.” 

> Manor of Mayhem
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        We all stood there, waiting out the endless seconds until, finally, Card came back in.

        “Okay, A.J. I’m gonna need you to lift up Rainy off the couch,” He said as he came in carrying a very large plastic sheet and some very thick wide ropes, almost like long belts. “Trixie, Twinkly, Stay-Puft, you need to spread this plastic around the couch and the floor, it’s all one sheet so please be careful.” If it wasn’t for the seriousness of the situation, I would’ve laughed at the fact that Rarity knew who Card was talking about right away. So while we were unrolling the plastic over the couch and letting it pool around the floor, Card took the belts over to Applejack and started doing something I couldn’t see and wasn’t paying much attention to due my full focus being on making unraveling the plastic without tearing it. In fact the only reason I even noticed was because Trixie said something.

        “Oh, is now really the time for that Card?” I looked over to Card and saw he was trying to tie Rainbow Dash up.

        Rarity stopped levitating her part of the plastic, and ran over to where they were. As she tried to untie the belts around Rainbow Dash and rip them out of Card’s hoofs and mouth, she managed to spit out, “What do you think you’re doing!?”

        “I’m trying to restrict her movement.” Card said as he tried to tug his belts back.

        “Why?!”

        “Because what I’m about to stick into her is going to make her thrash around like a fish on a hook.” Rarity started blushing and let go of the belts. I don’t blame her, my concentration was disrupted as well and I dropped the plastic wrap. In fact, everypony started blushing, except for Trixie who looked like she was trying to hold back a laugh. After a few seconds awkward silence, where the other unicorns and I finished covering the couch and floor and Card got back to trying to tie up rainbow Dash, it was broken by the last pony you would expect.

        “Uhh... excuse me,” Fluttershy said. “I’m sorry but...”

        “Yes?” Card responded like he was only barely paying attention.

        “You’re doing it wrong.”

        “Huh?”

        “Well... I mean...” With each word Fluttershy got a darker blush on her face. “You’re supposed to tie her up around her wings, then attach her front and back legs.”

        “Look, you do it,” Card said as he shoved the belts onto Fluttershy. He continued talking as he walked over to his spinning machine with the vial of liquid, which had now turned white strangely enough. “Tell me when you’re-”

        “Done.” Fluttershy’s voice was so quiet I barely could hear her. Applejack had no such problem.

        “Dang, you had her trussed up faster’n a shotgun bride!”

        Fluttershy was trying to make herself look small as possible to get attention off her. This was aided by Card suddenly bursting into a flurry of activity. He pushed Applejack over to the couch and shoved Rainbow Dash off of her back, placing her underside up on the plastic-clad couch. He grabbed the last remaining needle in his bucket, one with a very long point, and filled it with all of the liquid in his machine, leaving only a lump of gray at the bottom. He jabbed the needle straight into Rainbow Dash’s heart and the effect was almost instantaneous. 

        Her chest started to rise and fall more noticeably and much faster, and her breathing went from inaudible to heavy pants and gasps. It was still a troubling sight, but it was better than the previous lack of motion that seemed so very wrong coming from the always active Rainbow Dash.

        “Ok, one of you make sure she only pukes in that bucket,”  Card said with a gesture as he began to leave again.

        “Where are you going?” I couldn’t believe Card was just going to leave like this, I mean what if the antidote didn’t work? What if it wasn’t enough? What if it was too much? How could he just leave me- I mean her like this? Didn’t he care? I tried to voice my concerns and was met by Card going up to me and giving me a few firm shakes.

        “Stop blathering!” He said. Once I had calmed down, he answered my first question. “I am going anywhere but here for the next ten minutes. It’s going to get very messy and I don’t want to see it.” I looked over to Rainbow Dash and saw her starting to strain against her bonds, rivulets of black streaming down her sky blue coat. When I turned to ask Card just what he meant, I found that he had already left and, turning back to Rainbow Dash, that she was beginning to struggle against her bindings..

        The next five minutes or so were all a blur of all of us trying to keep Rainbow Dash on the couch -a task made much harder due to the fact that she was now covered in that black sweat- making sure she kept all of her throw up in the bucket while trying not to add to the amount in there myself, and hoping that the belts keeping her from moving more than a bare minimum amount held. Not a moment too soon she began to calm down, going into a much more natural looking sleep excepting the patches of black liquid on her coat. We took off her bindings and settled down for a moment to catch our breath, me personally feeling like I had just gone through an all night study session for five different tests at once. In a couple more minutes, Rainbow Dash started to wake up.

        “Ugh... what happened?” she asked as she slowly sat up and looked around. “Where am I? Why is my throat so sore?” She gave a few sniffs and scrunched up her nose. “Ugh, what stinks?”

        We all rushed up to embrace our friend, knocking her back against the couch. While we were doing that, Trixie was explaining to her what had happened. I only caught the last part though.

        “Then Card took us here, gave you the cure, left, and we’ve been spending the last few minutes keeping you from hurting yourself while your body purged itself of the toxins.” Upon the reminder of what kind of state Rainbow Dash’s body was in right now, namely covered in black sweat, we all released her. Rarity even recoiled and leaped to the other side of the room, starting to try to wipe the black sweat off of herself but only succeeding in spreading it around more.

        Rainbow Dash didn’t seem to notice though, as she was focusing on one specific part of what Trixie had said. “Card took me here?”

        “Well no technically, Applejack carried you.” Trixie said, but Rainbow Dash seemed to ignore her.

        “H-he did all that?” She looked very conflicted, “But...” She shook her head, and got up off of the couch. “I- I’m sorry, I need to... bye.” She walked out the room, closing the door behind her, shaking her head the whole way.

        “I should go help her.” Fluttershy mumbled out, as she followed after her.

        “Well, that should take a while darlings, so I think I’ll try to go find a shower.” Rarity said, “A house this large must have quite a few.”

        “What, can’t handle a little sweat mussing up yer coat?” Applejack teased.

        “I’m afraid not all of us have the luxury of being always so covered in sweat that anymore just slides off.” Rarity shot back as she left.

        We all sat around for a minute, making small talk, until Applejack decided to leave, pleading that she was worried about what was taking Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash so long.

        The second after she left, Card came back in. “Okay, she should be fine by now so you can all le-” He stopped talking as he got a good look around the room. “Twinkly?” He asked, his voice suddenly strained. “Where is everybody?”

        “Well, they all left-”

        “WHAT?!” Card yelled. While I was shocked by this outburst, Trixie stepped in to try to calm him down.

        “Call down Card, I’m sure they won’t break anything and they’ll be back soon,” she said.

        “No, you don’t understand. Oh this is a nightmare!” Card started to massage his temples.

        “What do you mean?” I asked. Card couldn’t be this mad just because of some ponies walking around his home. He didn’t seem like that kind of pony. It turned out I was right, Card was worried about something much worse.

        “Look,” he said as he walked to the door he just came out of. He opened it up, standing to the side so we could see into the room clearly.

        “Yeah?” Trixie asked, as confused about this as I was, “What about it? It looks like a normal dining ro-”

        She was cut off as Card closed the door and opened it again, this time revealing a library. He did it again, and this time it lead to what seemed to be a weight room. As he continued opening and closing the door, revealing a new room every time, he started speaking, pausing every time he closed and opened the door.

        “The rooms, in this house, are constantly, moving ar, ound.” 

        “...What?! Why? How?!” Trixie asked, mirroring my own thoughts quite nicely.

        Card stopped opening and closing the door, and began explaining. “This house has around 300,000 rooms. When they first built this place, they got really tired of having to go so far in their own house and so made it that you could get to any room from any door. But you have to know how to do it, and it’s really tricky. Hell, it still takes me a few tries most of the time. If they went through these doors, they could be almost anywhere in this house by now,” he finished.

        “Almost anywhere?” Trixie asked.

        “Well, a lot of the house is inaccessible to most, but that still leaves about a hundred rooms that they could be in. In all likelihood, if somebody doesn’t find them they will never get out.”

        “Well how do we find them?” I asked.

        “And even if we do, how do we find our way back.” I hadn’t even thought of that, Trixie had a good point. Fortunately Card had an answer to both our questions.

        “Wait here,” he said as he left the room for a few seconds. When he came back, he was carrying two large coils of fairly thin rope in his mouth. “Hwt oo et o u-”

        “What?” Trixie and I asked.

        He spat out the ropes, and began speaking again. “What you need to do is tie one of these ropes around one of your hooves and the other end around something in this room. When you walk around the house, the rope will leave trail you can follow.”

        “What’ll keep the rooms from changing and snapping the rope?” I asked.

        “As long as there is something crossing the threshold of the doorway, the rooms will be connected together and move as a group,” He explained. He started gathering up the sweaty plastic on the floor, grabbing the bucket as well. “Now, I have to go throw all of this away. You two know the rules. Good luck, have fun!” And with that he left.

        Trixie and I quickly did as he instructed and, with a shared word of goodbye and good luck, started off on our searches.

        The next half hour was, for me at least, fairly uneventful. The only noteworthy thing that happened was me coming across a book Card had borrowed from the library and said he had lost. I made a mental note to talk to him about it when I next saw him and continued on.

        Eventually I found myself in a room filled with rows and rows of shelves of food, going to the ceiling. As I went along each of the aisles, trying to see if any of my friends were hiding between them, I found Rarity. 

        Rarity was busy organizing all of the different shelves of food, as they were in quite a state of disarray. There were apples stacked next to a single bread that was teetering dangerously on a pile of bananas and canned peaches. All of this was next to a pile of strange grey chunks wrapped in plastic, and Rarity was going from aisle to aisle taking all the food of one type and trying to put them together. Resisting my urge to join her in dealing with this messiness, I instead called her name.

        “Oh, hello there Twilight.” She said as she hurried past me while levitating a stack of boxes. “Would you mind helping me with all this?” She was acting remarkably calm for somepony who had been lost for the better part of an hour.

        “Rarity, what are you doing?” I asked.

        “Well, I was walking around, trying to find a shower when I stumbled across this mess.” Rarity said, “I couldn’t bare to see such a mess lying around, so I’ve been doing some tidying up.”

        “Rarity, it’s been an hour!” 

        “What?” she stopped moving and all the things she was levitating fell to the ground.

        “Yeah.” I gave a quick version of what Card had told me. 

        She reacted with a surprising amount of calm. “Well then, I suppose we should get moving.”

        “You’re taking this all really well.” I pointed out.

        “Darling, every time I go to Manehatten I get lost,” she said with a chuckle, “This place can’t possibly be anywhere near as dangerous and confusing as that city.” 

        Whatever force governed irony was apparently very mad at me today, as the second she said that I heard a loud scream come from somewhere inside the house. We both immediately started running through the other rooms, Rarity staying behind me so as not to get separated again. While we were running I started thinking about Trixie, and if she was okay or not.




-----Trixie Talking-----




        Well, let me start off by saying that this is a very strange dream. I mean, after all that had happened today, I was expecting a very different kind of night-time fantasy. But, I guess there’s no harm in this. So you want to know about what happened today right? Well, okay.

        The day started off with me being very bored. Card had given me the day off because we didn’t have anyone coming in, and so I was left with nothing much to do. I decided to go visit Twilight, hoping that she wouldn’t mind me coming in at so early an hour.

        When I got there, I saw some of the strangest things I had seen since I traveled with that circus a while back. There was a white mare that I later recognized as Rarity who looked like she was attacked by an aggressive pack of hair rollers, a fairly good-looking pegasus with more rainbows on her then I had seen anywhere outside a LGBT pride rally pegasus, that I think was one of the ones heckling me at my last show, with her wings on backwards. There was that pink mare patient of Card’s that had her tongue swollen and covered in orange and blue, and a perfectly fine, if adorable, little yellow pegasus with pink hair that looked strangely sad for some reason. Naturally I went straight to her.
        When I started talking with her I found out what was wrong with her. She had one of the deepest voices I had ever heard on a mare. Not the deepest mind you, but up there. Anyways, I stood there trying to talk to the shy mare for a few minutes until a little yellow red-headed filly ran up, carrying a very tiny Applejack.

        What happened next would take too long to explain, but suffice to say that they ended up running to the Everfree forest and I ended up following them because, well I really had nothing better to do. Eventually we ended up at a zebra’s hut and, after an embarrassing incident for pegasus with the backwards wings who I now knew was named Rainbow Dash, they got cured of all their weird body problems. While I was dispensing the cure, Rainbow Dash got up and left before I could give it to her. One thing led to another and she ended up poisoned.

        You know, no matter how many times you see it, you never get used to the look ponies have when somepony they care for deeply is dying. I forced myself to ask the question none of them would, of how long she might have left, and then just left them to their mourning. 

        Then Card came and, after an argument with the two imaginary friends he has, he calls them Aoc and N from what i’ve been able to tell from all the times he’s talked to them in the office, along with him being amused by... Fluttershy? I think that was her name. Anyways, I don’t blame him for laughing like he did, it was like seeing a mouse try to stare down a lion. He took us to his house where he eventually made the cure with some help from yours truly.

        After that is when things got interesting. Long story short, turns out he lives in a house that works like one of those sliding puzzles, where every room can move around on its own. Everypony other then me and Twilight got lost, and so when he came back he threw a fit, scaring the horn off of Twilight, and then told us how to find them. He left and Twilight and me went down separate doorways, me feeling really dumb with a string around my back hoof.

        Anyways, after just walking around for twenty minutes and finding squat, I came into a long hallway filled with doors. I shrugged and opened the one closest to me. I opened the door and behind it I found... a wall.

        Okay, I thought, that’s pretty strange, but I just turned around and opened the door behind me. Behind that door was... another wall, with more of the same tasteless wallpaper. I started going down the hallway, opening every door, finding nothing but wall behind each one. I kept on going because I told myself that Card wasn’t the type of pony to just put a hallway doors going nowhere in his house right? Right? Finally, after ten minutes of opening and shutting doors,  I came to the final one. Just for the record, by this point I was expecting my nightmares for the next few months to include the constant slamming and opening of doors. Anyways, this last door wasn’t on side wall, it was directly across from the door where I started. Okay, I thought, This is it. This is that door that won’t lead me to a wall. Well, I was technically right. I opened that door, slamming it against the wall. Suddenly,

        Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna ruuuun around and, desert you.

        The scream of frustration I let out was probably heard all the way in Canterlot. I bet Twilight didn’t have to deal with anything like this.

        I’m sorry, you smell what? What do you mean, you ‘smell a trans-’




-----Sparkle Speaking-----




        So Rarity and I kept on walking through the house, making small talk as we went. Well, she made small talk and I politely pretended to listen. I know it’s rude, but there is only so much gossip about celebrities I don’t know and upcoming trends in fashion that I can stand. As I nodded and made various sounds of agreement, I was paying attention to all the strange rooms we were passing through. There was one that held nothing but buckets and buckets of strange dice, one that had all of it’s furniture on the ceiling, and one that had nothing in it but looked big enough to fit all the ponies in Ponyville. These are just a few, and just the ones I could describe. 

        Suddenly Rarity said something that made me pay attention to her.

        “I can’t imagine how Applejack felt when Applebloom ran off like that. If Sweetie had suddenly just ran off into the Everfree like that, I don’t know what I would do.”

        “What?” I asked. “Who’s Sweetie Belle?”

        “Oh, she’s my little sister.”

        “I didn’t know you had a sister. Why haven’t I seen her?” With all the times I had to go get Spike from the Carousel Boutique, I had just about seen every inch of the place. The idea that there was a little filly running around that I hadn’t noticed boggled my mind.

        “She’s been with our parents for the past month or so. She should be coming back in a couple weeks when winter starts,” she responded. “What about you Twilight? Any siblings?”

        “I have a big brother,” I said hesitantly. Rarity seemed to sense my discomfort and so dropped the subject, leaving us walking in awkward silence for the next several minutes.

        The silence was broken upon me opening a door to reveal a bathroom behind it, with a very large shower.

        “Finally!” Rarity shouted. “Twilight, do you suppose Card would mind me using his shower?” she asked, already turning on the water, “I would rather like to be rid of all this.” She gestured at her body, still covered in Rainbow Dash’s black sweat. I had honestly forgotten about the whole reason why she had left, and had stopped noticing the smell as well, until she pointed it out.

        “I don’t think he’ll care,” I said as I wrinkled my nose, remembering that my coat was covered in the stuff too. “Just be quick.”

        Rarity whooped and jumped in. After a little vigorous scrubbing from her, she started talking again.

        “You know Twilight, you have hooked quite a catch,” Rarity said.

        “What do you mean?” I asked.

        “He’s a doctor, he has a mansion as big as any I’ve ever seen in Canterlot, and he’s not hard on the eyes either,” she explained. “You have found yourself quite the coltfriend.”

        “...What?” I said in disbelief.

        “Don’t play coy darling. I recognize the signs.”

        “Card’s not my coltfriend!”

        “Oh please, I’ve seen him taking you out to that little cafe,” Rarity said as she stepped out of the shower and began to dry herself off.

        “Yeah, with Trixie!” I said as I went into the shower. Seriously, I couldn’t believe what she was saying! Card’s more like... Hmm? Oh sorry, I just realized something. Card’s been more like a big brother to me over the last couple months then Shiny has been in years...

        Sorry, back on topic.

        “Well then who is on your mind?” Rarity said.

        “W-What are you talking about?”

        “I may be wrong about you and Card, but I know a mare with a crush when I see one,” she said confidently. “Who is it?”

        My mind immediately went to the stallion I had seen in the mirror at those nights ago, with his dark blue coat, and his vibrant purple eyes piercing even behind his glasses. The pegasus smart enough to solve our problem without even seeing it. I realized that I hadn’t responded to Rarity’s question yet and it had been a full minute.

        I felt my cheeks flush and I decided I was clean enough and stepped out of the shower, taking another towel off the rack. Rarity was standing there with a little smirk on her face, and silently prodded me into stammering out an answer.

        “I- It’s stupid. I’ll don’t even know anything about him, and I’ll probably never see him again. I can’t even remember his name.”

        Rarity just gave me knowing look and chuckled a bit. “All right, all right,” she said. “Come on, we have to keep looking.” She went back out the door, holding it open as I went through. I bet Trixie didn’t have to deal with level of embarrassment on her search.




-----Trixie Talking-----




        ‘-ition.’ You’re really weird. Then again, you’re in my dream so... Ah, screw it. I’ll think about it tomorrow. 

        Where was I? Oh yeah, hallway of pain.

        So, after spending some time just listening- Don’t look at me like that, it’s a pretty good song! Anyways, when that was done I went back out the way I came, tieing a bit of the string around a doorknob so I wouldn’t stumble across it again, and went through another door. The next few minutes were pretty uneventful, although I did come across another hallway. This one just had six doors, not counting the one I came through. Five of the doors were locked and they all had some weird design on them. One that stands out was a set of scales, you know the kind you use to weigh things, with three dishes instead of two.

        Other than that hallway, the next interesting thing that happened was when I came across Rainbow Dash.

        I found her walking around, grumbling to herself. When I came up to her, her face briefly brightened but sank when she saw who I was.

        “Oh, it’s you.”

        “Well hello to you too.” She gave me a look. I asked her what her problem was.

        “Well,  I’ve spent most of today humiliating myself, one of my best friends has betrayed me, I was poisoned, and now I’m lost in the house of the most infuriating stallion in Equestria!”

        I asked her what she had against Card.

        “He is not normal!” she shouted. “He’s hiding something big, and probably dangerous, and I’m the only one who cares!”

        I called this out as the bullshit it was, and she continued.

        “It’s not just that! How does he always know what to do!? A.J. loses her dog, he has a dog whistle! We get a case of poison joke, he happens to know a super-fast cure! More than that, he always knows where I’m going to crash!”

        Now, I’m pretty good at reading body language. After all, being able to tell how your audience is feeling is a necessary part of being a magician. So, I was able to tell that that was only part of what was bothering Rainbow Dash. I pointed this out to her, and she had this to say,

        “He- He just makes it all look so easy! We can be working our plots off and he’ll just come in a solve the problem while looking half asleep! You’re his secretary, have you ever seen him put even a slight bit of effort into anything!” 

        Here I had to pause for a moment. Not because I couldn’t think of anything, but because the only one that came to mind was so strange. 

        The first day I met Card, I saw him talk an Ursa Major out of attacking the town. The whole time he was talking to it he had a look of complete focus on him, like he was carefully considering each and every syllable he spoke. I felt like that shouldn’t be something I tell anypony though, especially as I don’t think Card even knew I was there. So I just told her that despite what she thought, Card had saved her life so she should give him the benefit of the doubt, I left out the part about him not wanting to, and either way we had to find her friends.

        “What do you mean?” she asked, stopping dead in her tirade against Card.

        I told her everything that had happened after she left the room, along with the rules Card had laid out for how the house worked.

        “Well then what are we doing standing around here! Let’s go!” I was so shocked by her one-eighty in mood that I almost forgot to grab her.

        “What is it?!” she asked. I told her that I had to tie a piece of the rope around her so that we wouldn’t get separated. I quickly tied a piece around her back hoof while she tried not to fidget, making sure it was a fair distance away from me, and as soon as I was done she went out the nearest door.

        The next few minutes were fairly uneventful, but I was distracted from the tedium by the very nice plot in front of me. You wouldn’t think that a pegasus would have particularly nice leg muscles due to them usually flying everywhere, but Rainbow Dash was a very welcome exception to the rule. 

        Why are you looking at me like that?

        Yes, yes I am indeed a lesbian. 

        ...That bit of awkwardness out of the way, back to the story. Eventually we came to a very strange room. Fairly large, it was all white and very brightly lit. There was no furniture in it, except for a pedestal against the wall. On it there was a little red metal ball, and above it was a sign saying,

        “This is Super Happy Fun Ball.”

        Rainbow Dash let out a scoff. “How much fun could this stupid little thing possibly b-”

        She was cut off by the ball suddenly opening up and sprouting two layers of metal blades. They started spinning, slow at first but quickly getting faster. 

        As the ball began to hover, I noticed a piece of the sign that was previously obscured by it. 


WARNING: DO NOT TAUNT! RESULTS OF TAUNTING INCLUDE, BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO:
-LASER BURNS
-LOSS OF HAIR
-LOSS OF TAIL
-SUDDEN VASECTOMY
-VACATING OF BOWELS
-IRRESISTABLE URGE  TO MONTAGE
-DOORS NO LONGER OBEYING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS
-FEAR OF BARBERS
-FEAR OF CUPCAKES
-FEAR OF GARDENS
-FEAR OF YELLOW MARES
-DOGS AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER
-AND LOSS OF ABILITY TO SING, EAT, THINK, BREATH, AND LIVE


        “Rainbow Dash,” I said, distracting her from the ball that had now sprouted antenna that were arcing electricity.

        “Yeah?”

        “Run.” She didn’t need to be told twice.




-----You All Know The Drill-----




        After the incident in the shower Rarity and I got back to searching for our friends, but by this point we were both fairly tired. After all, we had been walking around for a good ninety minutes or so by this point. Thankfully, it wasn’t very long before we came across Applejack in a bright green kitchen, that had a very strange smell come to think of it, looking completely lost.

        “Hey, Applejack!” I called out to get her attention.

        “Howdy!” she said as she rushed up to greet us with a relieved look on her face, “Oh mah stars, y’all have no idea how happy Ah’m to see ya.”

        “Yes, yes Applejack. We’re glad to have found you,” Rarity said as she embraced her friend, me along with her.

        After a moment Applejack pulled back from Rarity and I, saying, “Please tell me ya know how to get outta here?!”

        “Don’t worry, this rope will lead us back,” I said. As I looked at the rope however, I noticed that it was almost completely taut. “Speaking of, we don’t have much more. I think we should start to head back.” I untied the rope from myself and tied it off on the handle of the oven. Rarity and Applejack evidently agreed as they started heading back, following the rope as it hung a couple feet off the ground.

        “Phew. This place is so darn confusing!” Applejack said as we walked. “You know I came across no less than five rooms, all that looked exactly alike!”

        “Actually, they probably were all the same room,” I said. I started explaining to Applejack about how Card’s house worked, along with all the strange rooms we had seen. Rarity added in her comments about some rooms she had come across before I had found her, and Applejack told us about a few odd things she had seen as well. This story swapping kept us occupied for most of the long, more or less straight, walk back to the room we started from, which was broken up only by us grabbing some food from the large room I found Rarity in and taking it with us. It was a fairly good pace, until Rarity came to a room that I had found fairly early on but didn’t find particularly interesting. Rarity, on the other hoof, was a different matter altogether.

        “Oh. My. Celestia.” She stood in awe as she looked around her at all the various accessories. One wall was covered in jewelry of every shape and size and style, another with coats, shirts, dresses, skirts, and other types of clothing I couldn’t even identify. There was one wall covered with nothing but hats, and across from it was a wall that was just one huge mirror. Each wall looked to be fifteen feet high and at least thirty feet long.

        “Come on Rarity,” Applejack said as she nudged her enraptured friend, “We need to keep moving. Who knows, the others might still be missing and the sooner we get back the sooner we can look for them.”

        “But- But-” Rarity stammered out until she finally regained enough sanity to form a complete sentence. “But, just look!” she said as she spun around gesturing everywhere, looking like a foal in a playground.

        “We have to go,” Applejack firmly said.

        “Oh please, just five minutes. Please.” Rarity begged me. After a little while I gave in, convincing Applejack to stay as well. After all, I reasoned, our friends could all take care of themselves, and nothing we had seen since we got here was all that dangerous. How much trouble could they possibly be in?




-----Trixie Talking-----




        So as me and Rainbow Dash were running from the spinning kill-ball of death, screaming ourselves horse, I finally got the bright idea to close a door behind us as we ran through it. This idea should not have taken me thirty minutes to come up with. I plead being scared and tired. I didn’t even know I could run for a solid thirty minutes, let alone at that speed. Seriously, I still feel sore and I’m dreaming! 

        Anyways, the ball crashed into the door and we heard it hit the ground. I can not put into words, how good it felt to no longer hear that annoying whirring noise! I finally understood what they mean when they say the release from pain is the ultimate pleasure.

        By this point, I was out of breath and Rainbow Dash was a bit winded, so we took a little break at the door to relax. As we did, I noticed what room we were in. It was a brightly lit, fairly temperate room, filled with trees. As my breath started to quiet down, I heard a soft whispering.

        “Here, try it like this,” it said.

        Rainbow Dash heard it as well, but she apparently recognized the voice as she quickly sprang up and rushed towards it, dragging me along by the rope. “Fluttershy!” she yelled.

        I heard the voice give out a soft, little, frankly adorable, scream.

        “Eeeeeeeee.” 

        I stood up and walked to where Rainbow Dash was standing, seeing the cute little yellow pegasus from before, you know, the one that tried to intimidate Card, hiding behind a tree with only one large eye sticking out from behind it. In front of that tree was a little grayish blue... thing. 



        A very fluffy, little grayish blue thing. Seriously, the thing looked like it was 98% hair and 2% glowing eyes. The little thing was standing in front of the tree, looking like he was trying to guard it, but shaking nervously. The second I stepped into view, it jumped up into the air and disappeared.

        Rainbow Dash paid it no heed, and just went around to the other side of the tree and gave her friend a hug. “Oh thank Celestia you’re okay! Let’s get out of here!” she said as she tried to pull her friend along.

        “It’s nice to see you too. Um... Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy asked uneasily.

        “Yeah?” 

        “Are- Are you alright?” The little mare asked, only to see her friend looking at her incredulously. “I- I mean,” Fluttershy said hurriedly, “You left so angry, and it’s been so long since, and I just wanted to know, but if you’re okay then that’s great and I- I- Sorry.” The mare finished, looking down at her hooves.

        You know, I have to admire her. Alone in a confusing house for a couple of hours, getting more lost with every turn she made, and her first thought upon getting rescued is if her friend is still in a bad mood. Speaking of that friend...

        “Yeah Fluttershy, I’m fine,” Rainbow Dash said. “Now let’s get out of this crazy place!” 

        “What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.

        I quickly filled Fluttershy in on what had happened in the house and how it worked.

        “Now let’s get out of here before something else tries to kill us!” Rainbow Dash said. I won’t say she was tempting fate, but... The second she said those words, the house started moving.




-----Sparkle Speaking-----




        “Okay, now what do you think about this one?” Rarity asked Applejack and I as she put on another dress and set of earrings. I had long since given up on actually forming an opinion about what she was trying on and was now just counting the seconds until the time was up in between regretting my decision and wondering why Card had so many clothes in his house when all he seemed to wear was that brown greatcoat.

        “Ah don’ care, Rarity can we please just get going?” Applejack begged, but her pleas fell on deaf ears as Rarity went back to the wall and started picking out another outfit while she put her last one back on. I began to wish for something interesting to happen, or for time to speed up. Well, I got one of those wishes.

        Now, for some reason, the room started to move. Not shake like an earthquake, it was raising up on one side, then down, then up on the other side, then down, violently and jerkily. It felt like it was being picked up and flung around, and we began sliding around with it. I don’t remember the events very well but it seemed to go on for at least fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes of sliding and crashing and bumping into each other, it was a miracle none of us got hurt! But it did end eventually, and when it did we rushed outside of the room as fast as we could. And then we had to go back to pick up Applejack’s hat that she had dropped. It took us ten minutes of searching to get find that hat among all the clothes on the floor in the room, but when we did we continued on our journey back to the room we all started from, this time making it.




-----Meh-----




        While the room was shaking up like a boat in a tsunami, I was the only one suffering! The other two were just hovering in the air. I swear I must have hit every single tree in that room. At least Fluttershy had the decency to cringe whenever I got hurt, Rainbow Dash was just laughing at me. But she wasn’t laughing for long, as eventually the string connecting us got so tangled up at the bottom of the trees, that a good shake ended up pulling her down and slamming her straight into the ground where she joined me in my pain.

        After a good few minutes of this torture, the house finally calmed down. I was covered in bruises, Rainbow Dash was covered in bruises, Fluttershy was fine but from the way she was cringing you would have thought she was the one we kept slamming into. Eventually Rainbow Dash got over her pain enough to stand back up.

        “You see?!” she said. “This is why we have to leave!”

        “B- But what about the others?” Fluttershy timidly asked.

        I told her that I was sure Twilight had found them by now and they were probably already back. I didn’t mean a word of it, but by this point I just wanted to be done with this all. Then I remembered how long it took me to get here. Even discounting the time I wasted in the hallway of bullshit, the journey back was enough to make my bruised, aching muscles groan. 

        Luckily we didn’t have to make it all the way back. Fluttershy’s little friend came back, armed with a saucepan. After Fluttershy convinced him we weren’t going to hurt her, and explained our situation his eye’s lit up. He motioned for us to follow him.

        We went after him, and eventually he led us to the other side of the room to another door. He jumped up, twisted the handle, and opened the door to reveal Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and...

        “FOOD!!!” Rainbow Dash yelled as she sprinted over to where they were eating. Me and Fluttershy joined her, and we all tucked in. After a few minutes of nothing but the sounds of eating. Rainbow Dash and Applejack got into a fight, but I didn’t care enough to pay attention to it.




-----I’m not being paid enough for this-----




        Trixie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash all burst into the room just as we had finished setting up the food. The whole time we were eating, I noticed Rainbow Dash glaring at Applejack, and then turning away when she looked at her. Eventually, Applejack had to bring it up.

        “Rainbow, why are yah giving me the stinkeye?” she asked.

        “Oh, no reason,” Rainbow Dash said, her voice drenched in sarcasm. “You just sided against me, one of your best friends, for the sake of a stallion who you’ve barely known for two months!” Rainbow’s voice rose to a yell.

        “Oh, is that what this is about?”

        “Yes! How could you do that to me!”

        “Do what? Disagree about you calling mah friend evil when he hadn’t even dun nuthing to yah?” Applejack was yelling now too.

        “He’s not right! He lives in Everfree, he has a house out of a nightmare, none of us know anything about him, he never takes anything seriously, and have you seen the way Pinkie acts around him? She’s terrified of him, she can barely look at him!”

        “She was also the one walking closest to him when we came here,” Applejack pointed out.

        “Pinkie what do you-” Rainbow Dash looked around the room. “Where’s Pinkie?” Come think of it, I can’t even remember when she left. Fortunately, she choose then to re-appear.

        “Here I am!” she said in her usual exuberant manner. Her hair flat, but from sweat, and she seemed very tired: I mean she was actually pausing in between her words for once and she her face was flushed, but somehow she was wearing the biggest smile I had ever seen on her.

        “Pinkie, where were you darling?” Rarity asked.

        “Ooh! I was-”

        “Where’s Card?” Rainbow Dash asked with fire in her eyes.

        “Oh, he’s putting away the mattress.”

        “...What?” Applejack asked.

        “Well he said he needed to put it in the cleaning room. I don’t blame him; we did get it really dirty,” Pinkie explained, still with her massive smile on.

        “Uhh... What?” Rarity asked.

        “Hey everybody,” Card said as he walked into the room carrying a mug on his head.

        “Oh, there you are!” Pinkie bounded over to him. “Did you put the mattress away, ooh what that?” Pinkie said as she tried to climb on top of him to peek inside the mug

        “Yeah, I might just end up throwing it away though, we really did a number on it!” Card answered, “And as for this,” He rolled his eyes up to the top of his head to point at the mug, “This is just water. You really left me dehydrated.”

        “I know! It was soooooo much fun!” Pinkie said,  “Can I come over and do it again some time?! Please? Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please,”

        “Sure, if you can find this place again. Just give it a while first, I can tell I’m going to be sore tomorrow. I didn’t realize I had gotten so out of shape.”

        “But you kept it up for such a long time! I had to stop moving before you did.”

        By this point, a layer of awkward had set up around all of us. None of us did anything and the only ones not blushing were Trixie and Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash eventually spoke up.

        “Now listen here!” She said as she stomped up to Card. “What was the deal with your damn deathball!”

        “Oh, so you’re feeling better.” Card said. “Glad the antidote worked.”

        “Answer the question! What was with your deathball!”

        “Deathball... Death ball...” Card said as he thought. “I’m pretty sure it’s in the shop right now. At least, Tron hasn’t sent it back to me yet.”

        “What!? Then what did we run across?!” She said, motioning to herself and Trixie.

        “I don’t know, what did you run across?”

        “That damn... Super Happy Fun Deathmachine!”

        “I don’t have a super happy fun deathmachine. I have a Mega Happy Fun Deathmachine lying around here somewhere, if you want it.”

        Rainbow Dash was fuming, and so Trixie was the next one who spoke.

        “She’s talking about the Super Happy Fun Ball.”

        Rainbow Dash nodded her head in agreement. “The damn thing nearly killed us! Stop laughing!”

        Card was quietly chuckling. He opened the door to the outside and stepped out, keeping the door open. The instant he stepped outside, I noticed Pinkie flinch a little, but not much. He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a small red ball. The instant that ball was visible, Rainbow Dash and Trixie both ran to the farthest wall and pressed themselves against it.

        Card lifted the ball to his face. “Booooooo.” He said. Tiny little blades came out of the ball and it started hovering.

        “What have you done!” Trixie screamed.

        Card ignored her and plucked a blade of grass from the ground and held it to the ball. The moment the blades touch the blade of grass, they ran back into the ball, and it fell to the ground.

        “It’s a prank toy,” Card explained as he lifted it up off the ground and threw it back into his jacket. “Oh shit!” he suddenly said. Before I could ask him what he meant by that, a tiny symbol appeared on the wall above Rainbow Dash and the ball fell onto her head. This was apparently the last straw for her.

        “That is it!” Rainbow Dash said. “I’m leaving!”

        “What, no thank you for saving your life?”

        “Thank... You...” She said through gritted teeth. 

        “Wait up, I’m going with yah,” Applejack said. “Thank y’all for yer hospitality,” she said to Card.

        “Yes, thank you,” Rarity said.

        Me and Fluttershy thanked him as well as we left, Trixie hanging back for a slight moment before she joined us.

        We waited until we were out of sight of the house to realize that none of us knew where we were going. Fortunately Pinkie seemed to have some idea and we eventually made it out alright.  I came home, dictated my letter to the princess to Spike, went to sleep and now we’re here. 

        That is all, yes. Oh, wait. The Princess did send me a letter telling me that she was going to be here in a few days time. Oh, what am I going to do! there is so much I need to prepare, we need food, and I’m going to have to show her my progress! Oh, so much studying to do! There is no time to sleep, what am I doing he-




-----Finally, the Last One of the Day-----




        So Card and the pink mare who was one of his clients came back, they apparently had sex or something, I don’t know, I was about ready to collapse at this point. I did find it funny at how many of the fully grown mares, all of whom were at least my age, were blushing at an innuendo. 

        Then Card freaked me out by pulling out the murderball, but it turned out to have been a prank thing and now I have a fear of marbles. When we all left, I had to ask him one question.

        “That just now, was that on purpose?”

        The bastard just gave me one of his little smirks and winked at me. “See you at work tomorrow.”

        Then I came to my apartment and collapsed into my bed. Then you showed up, all white and coatless, with your desk and strange machine and started interviewing me. All in all, this was a weird dream. Hey what’s that you have? Amnesia wha-
> Master of the Manor
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Ooooh! This is new! I’ve never had somepony join me in my dreams before, although you look really funny, some parts of you are kinda brown, others are all white, and where’s your tail? Oh, is it tucked in your pants? Say, how did you learn to walk like that, I thought only I could do that! Also, what’s are those things growing out of your hooves? Oh, well!

        This makes everything so much more fun! Now we can play on the seesaw and go on slides and play on this trampoline! Wheeee!!! Why aren’t you bouncing?! C’mon this is fun!! Oof! Hey, where did the trampoline go?

        Oh. You’re not here to play. Well then why are you here Mister? You want me to talk into this box? Okie-Dokie! Fdjsioapeor ewdjsadjdwior sdjewrj weisajdjweop-!

        What’s wrong, I’m just doing what you asked. Ooooohhh, you want me to talk about what happened today? Okie-Dokie!

        So I woke up at the same time I always do, which is really really early! I needed to get everything started for today, I had to make the cake mix, start the fudge, make the frosting, and refill the ice cream jars! It’s a lot of work, but Mr. and Mrs. Cake have been letting me do it all by myself for almost a whole ye- What?

        How did you know that I went into the big house? Are you psychic?! That would be so cool! Tell me, what am I thinking?! Ohh, you just want me to tell you what happened. How can you not have time for games, everypony needs to have time for games?

        Oh well, I guess I should tell you. When we got to the big house, I was really surprised! Every time I went into the Everfree forest, I would always somehow end up in front of it and I didn’t know anypony lived in it! I don’t know why, it just makes me feel safe. But I couldn’t think of it for very long, because Rainbow Dash needed help and so I went inside and then... and then...

        Hmm. I don’t remember. I walked into the house and the next thing I knew I was in a hallway and I heard music. Then I saw a pony come dancing up the hallway next to me, humming along with the song.

        “You might as well be walking on the sun,” he sang as he came up next to me, stopping when he saw me. It was Him. He looked me right in the eyes, and I almost flinched just out of reflex but I noticed something different about Him. It’s hard to put into words, It was like... Like he was completely relaxed, he didn’t have a care in the world and it showed in his eyes. They were like a cloud, just drifting along and having fun looking at all the things around it. It was so different from those hard blue eyes that show up in my nightmares and flash like lightning about to strike.

        “Oh hey Pinkie! What are you doing here?” he said, still bobbing his head to the music.

        “I don’t know!” I started to bounce around to the music, stopping suddenly when I realized that He had called me Pinkie. He never did that before. “I just came into the door and next thing I knew I was here!”

        “Huh. I guess I didn’t put up enough of a block.” He looked concerned for a moment and then just shrugged it off. “Oh well, no harm done. Hey, what are you doing?”

        “Dancing!” I said as I kept jumping around, his eyes following my movements.

        “Huh.” He turned around and started to walk towards a less scary-looking door.

        “Ooh, Where are you going?” I called out as I followed him

        “To the dance room.” He said as he faced me, “You wanna come?”

        “Yes! Dancing is so much fun!” 

        “Yeah, I like it too.” He started to open and close the door.

        “What are you doing? Are you trying to get rid of gremlins?” Sometimes I would see Mrs. Cake open and close a door over and over again when we had a problem with the batter we were making.

        “No, It’s just not responding very well. Ah-ha, there we go!” He had a huge silly grin on his face as if he had just been told that he had won a million cupcakes. “Come on, follow me.”

        We walked through the door and I saw we were in a big BIG room, with a shiny ball on the ceiling and squares on the floor. There were a bunch of speakers around us, all picking up the song that was playing in the other room right where it was when we came to this room. He walked over to this screen on one of the walls and started scrolling through the songs. While he was doing this I came up to him.

        “What are you going to play first?” I said as I kept dancing around.

        “Would you not do that?”

        “Do what?”

        “Smile that big fake looking smile. It’s depressing.”

        “What do you mean?” How could a smile ever make somepony sad? They make ponies happy that’s why I always smile, so they don’t feel bad around me.

        “It looks like you’re trying to convince everybody that you’re happy so they won’t bother you. I have a feeling that’s not the case, but still it makes me uncomfortable.”

        “Oh. Okay.” I said as I put on my seriously serious face of seriousness. “Is this better?”

        He took a look at me and barked out a laugh. “Now you look like you’re trying really hard not to poop. Here, look.” He pointed to a mirror. I took a look and started laughing, I looked so silly!

        While I was laughing, he finally made a choice. The song stopped and a new one started playing. The ball on the ceiling started spinning and the squares on the floor started to light up.

        “OOH! I haven’t heard this song before!” I said as I started jumping around.

        “I thought you might like it!” He said with a smile, “It even has a special dance to go with it.”

        I love special dance songs! “What is it?!” I asked him.

        “Here, follow my lead.” He started jumping around, spinning and kicking. I tried to follow him along.

        “Well done! You caught on faster than I did!” he said as he jumped around next to me. “Now watch this!” He stuck both of his left hooves up into the air while bouncing on his right and then quickly flipped around so he was in the air tummy up and then landed bouncing on left with his right hooves in the air.

        I clopped my hooves together. “That looks like so much fun! Let me try!” I almost almost did it, but I fell when I spun around.

        “Hahaha, are you okay?” He gave me a hoof up.

        “I’m fine, let’s keep dancing!” We danced and danced, through so many songs that I couldn’t believe I had never heard before! I have to make sure to ask Vinyl if she recognizes any of them so she could play them at my next party! There were fast songs that made us go crazy, and a couple smaller ones that let us both dance with more control! There was even a really slow song that made Him grab me and start twirling me around! It was so much fun, and I wouldn’t have stopped if my tummy hadn’t started to rumble. Oh well, I guess that’s what happens when you can’t fit most of your breakfast into your mouth!

        What’s a knife?

        Oh well, when my tummy began to roar I tried to ignore it but He heard it.

        “Okay, let’s stop for a little while. I’m getting tired and I need a shower, and you sound like you’re pretty hungry.” He lead me through the door and brought me to a big kitchen with a lot green! “You can eat anything you want, I’m going to wash off.” He left and I started looking around the room. 

        I started opening the cupboards and looking through the refrigerator and then I saw a full pie! A really big one too, filled with some type of brown nut. Actually, pies are one of the things Mr. and Mrs. Cake haven’t taught me how to make. For some reason whenever I tell that to anypony they think it’s funny, but no one will tell me why.

        Ah, well! So I started to lift it to my mouth and then He came barreling in through the door!

        “Don’t eat that!” He grabbed the pie out of my hooves, which was really rude of him to do after he said that I could eat anything in the room! I tried to say something, but he kept on talking. “It’s my only defense against CandleJack!” He froze and got a really funny look on his face! Like he was sad, and angry, and surprised all at once. Then the room got all cold and He hung his head. “Oh Fuck!”

        “Hello.”

        He grabbed the pie off of where he had put it down, and shoved it towards a funny walking pillow attached to a blanket.

        “Goodbye,” Mr. Blanket said as he took the pie and disappeared. 

        “Well great!” he said but he stretched out his words like taffy, that way ponies do when they aren’t being serious. “Now I need to make a new pie.” He opened up this big door that went Whoosh! up above the oven that had lots and lots of books in it! I couldn’t even read the titles off of some of them, they were up so high!

        “Neh. Neh. Neh.” He started jumping up and down. It looked like fun so I jumped with him.

        “Neh. Neh. Neh,” we said. All of a sudden He got really grumpy and with one final Neh! just stopped. He crinkled up his face like he just bit into a rotten cupcake, and yelled.

        “IKE!” 

        I wondered if that was the name of one of the voices he was yelling at earlier, probably the one in sky because the one in the ground was a mare. But I was wrong because then there was a POP! and a little gray thingy was standing on top of the shelf.

        “OH! What’s your name little Filly! Or are you a Colt?! You know, it’s really hard for me to tell sometimes and you don’t look like a normal pony so I can’t-” I was stopped when He started to speak.

        “Ike, hand me that book.” He started to give instructions to the little thing- No! No, bad Pinkie! I know it’s name, it’s not a thing! Sorry, Ike. So, He was giving instructions to Ike. “No, the red one. The other red one. No, no, that’s blue, Ike. Look, it’s the one to the left- Other left. Yes. Yes, that one.”

        Ike took the book and disappeared, then came back, holding the book out in front of him with an adorable little grin! OOOHHH! I should see if I can make him a Gummy have a play-date! Then I could give them little hats and teach them the dance, and it would be so cute!!!!!!

        Oh yeah, I was telling a story. I hate when storytime gets interrupted, so I should stop stopping myself and- Oops I’m doing it again. Sorry!

        So Ike gave Him the book and I saw it had a delicious picture of a pie on it!

        “Why do you need that?” I asked Him.

        “Because that was my last pie, and I need to make more now,” He said. “And you are going to help me!”

        “YAY!!! We get to bake!” I was going to learn how to make a pie! “Okay, what’s first?!”

        “Well, first I’m going to set the oven to preheat and then I’m going to try and find all the things we need for it.” He opened the book and threw it up into the air. “Let’s see, what are we going to- Walnut pie!” He said as the book landed open on the page with a picture of a pie with no top. “Okay, set to 350 and we need... Okay!” He went to the oven and set it to preheat. 

        “Now then, we need to go and find the ingredients. Come on, follow me,” he said as Ike jumped up to his head. We walked through the door and came to this HUGE room! And it was filled with so much food! I almost couldn’t believe it!

        “Now Ike, I need you to keep a lookout for these ingredients.” As He listed off the things we would need for the recipe, I looked at him and it was so funny! He was standing there all relaxed and he had Ike on his head, pretending to be all Serious Seriousface! I started laughing and He turned towards me. “What’s so funny?” 

        “Why is Ike on your head?” I asked.

        “Because if he was on my back, he might damage my jacket!” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Now come on, the oven will be done in a couple of minutes, we need to get everything.” He started walking down an aisle, and then turned around.

        “What’s wrong?” I asked.

        “Someone has moved everything around! Ike is this one of your pranks?”

        Ike shook his head all NO!-like.

        “Well, either way it doesn’t look like they moved it all to far.” We got everything we needed, and then we left.

        “So what do we now?!” I asked, I was hoping we could keep dancing! I like dancing!

        “Now we make the pie.” 

        “What do you mean?” There was no way that the oven could have warmed up in time! The oven I have a home can’t heat up that fast and I live in a bakery! But I was wrong, it was done! I need to ask Him if we could get one for SugarCube Corner!

        We started making the pie, me making the crust while He and Ike made the filling. It was all fine until He started screaming.

        I was really scared for a minute, until He started laughing. “Damn it Ike, you sunnavabitch!” I saw that his face was completely covered in egg, with the yolk right in between his eyes. I started giggling to when I saw it.

        “Oh, so you think it’s funny huh?” he said as he came near me. “Why don’t you try it!” He picked up another egg and broke it, splitting it over my head. I kept laughing, even while I stirred the batter. After that it was a lot of silence, but not that kind you get when your parents are fighting, or you just told a joke and nopony laughed. It was a good silence.

        Eventually we finished making the pie and set it to bake. I didn’t notice at the time, but I think Ike had left sometime while we were mixing. I wonder where he went?

        I was so busy making the pie that I had forgotten that I was hungry, but my tummy was happy to remind me.

        “Hey!” it said, “Remember that you were supposed to feed me? Whatever happened to that!?” At least I’m sure that’s what it would have said if it could talk, but since it can’t it just rumbled a little. But it was not alone, His belly roared too! I wonder if tummy-rumbling is contagious? I know laughing and yawning are, but- Oh, I’m sorry I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Hee-hee~

        “Let me show you my favorite thing in my house,” he said. He went over to the refrigerator and grabbed a watermelon. He took the watermelon and put it into a box that was just above the counter. I was going to ask why He would take a watermelon out of a cold box to put it in a smaller, warmer box when I heard a noise. Like a Whirrrr, Shink, Shink, Shink, Shink, Bloush, Thuck, Thuck, Whirrrrrrrr, Ding! When the box Ding!-ed, He grabbed a big glass bowl and put it up below the box. He pulled the lever on the side and a bunch of watermelon slices came falling out. 

        “This is my watermelon peeler,” he said. “I had a friend of mine make it for me in exchange for hiding some stupid killer machine he had. Best trade of my life! Here, try one.”

        I took one of the slices out of the bowl and so did He, but when I tried to take a bite I was stopped when I saw him open up his refrigerator again.

        “Are you going to get another watermelon?” I didn’t think that we could eat two. But I will never find out, because he pulled out a bunch of tall cans.

        “HHHH! Are those-?” I asked.

        “Every flavor of whipped cream imaginable,” he said. He grabbed a brown and black one and a salt shaker and put on the same table as the bowl.

        “What are you doing?” I asked. “I’m not sure, but I think salt doesn’t go on sweet things.” I learned that when I tried putting seawater into the cupcake mix. But that was a long time ago, like almost a whole week! 

        He took a slice of melon and sprinkled it with salt. Then He flipped it over and started making layers of whipped cream, first one brown then black then brown then black over and over and over until it was bigger than my face! He took a bite of it a let out a sound that sound like a cross between a yelp and a kitty cat purring.

        “Here, try it.” He hoofed over his slice. I took a big bite and nearly got my mouth around his hoof by accident.

        “Oh, I am so sorry!” That keeps on happening, and I’m trying to stop it, but I keep forgetting how big my mouth is. He wasn’t angry though, he just laughed. “Don’t worry, there’s plenty more.” And there was! He had raspberry whip cream, and strawberry, and something he called a snozzberry and lemon and peach and banana and vanilla and marshmallow and apple and cherry, but actually I don’t think he had plain, and he also had the chocolate and peanut butter that he put on his first slice of course!

        We ate, and we ate, and we ate, until the stove went Ding! and the pie was done. We took it out and put it out to cool on a window that I must have missed before that let out to a dark place that was very cold. He looked up at the ceiling and saw the big clock that took up the whole thing and said, “Do you want to do something really fun?”

        “FUN!!!?” I slid up to him.

        “I’ll take that as a yes. Come, follow me.” We went through a door and the next thing I saw was a really, REALLY, REALLY big room! All grey, and hilly, with rails, and slopes, and a slide, and half of a disproportionately thin pipe for how big it was, and a big block in the middle slightly raised.

        “What are we going to do here?” I asked.

        “It’s a surprise,” he said. He went opened the door and started to pull out a mattress. It was normal sized, but he couldn’t move it very well on his own so I helped Him! We dragged it out to middle of the room and then He lied down on it. He patted the mattress part that he wasn’t on and so I lied down on that part. It was just a normal size mattress so I had squeeze really close to him. I asked him what was going to happen, but then it happened so it probably sounded like this:

        “What’s going to haaAAAAAAAAA!”

        “Hold on!”

        There wasn’t anything on the mattress for me to hold on to so I just held on to Him. What was happening? Well, the whole room was going up and down and left and right, we were sliding and going up the ramps and into the air and down the slides as the house moved. After a couple minutes, He yelled out to me.

        “You having fun yet?!”

        I went “WHEEEEEEEE!”

        He laughed and said “Watch this!” He stuck out a hoof and let it hit a post holding up a rail. When it collided, we started spinning! It was like those rides at the fairs, you know the ones where they attach you to a big swing and start to spin you around. It was then that I remembered why I didn’t go on those rides after eating.

        “I think I’m going to be sick!” I yelled.

        “Oh, sorry!” I looked up at His face and he looked like he was focusing. Like Mr. Cake does at the start of spring. Suddenly my tummy felt all better. “There, that any better?”

        I thought maybe I should ask Him how he did that, but I realized that if he wanted me to know how, he would have told me. I just got back to cheering, and hugged him even tighter.

        We were going around the room for I don’t know how long. It was like when you go to a party at dusk and then you look outside and the sun’s coming up. The house stopped moving and we eventually slowed to a stop.

        “Let’s go again! Let’s go again!” Somehow I had ended up on top of Him while we were sliding around.

        “Sorry, but the house can only keep dancing for a little bit. You wouldn’t want me to tire the poor thing out, would you?”

        “Oh no, I am so sorry house!” I tried to apologize, but I couldn’t tell if you were supposed to apologize to a house through the ceiling or the floor, and so I just kept on looking up and down and up and down and up and down and- Oh, sorry again!

        I would have kept on trying to apologize, but then little Ikey-Wikey popped up again.

        “What is it?” he asked Ike.

        Ike made some strange motions with his front hooves and then pulled out a bit of string.

        “Really?!” he said. He nodded and then turned to face me. “Your friends are all waiting for you. I will go try and stuff this in the washing machine then go see you all off.” He left the room, dragging the mattress behind him. I was wondering how I was going to get out, but then Ike had me follow him. 

        I came into the room where my friends were all sitting, or standing, or shouting. Oh hey, those all start with S. Strange. I told them all what I did today, but they just gave me some funny looks. Then He came back and it turned out that he managed to prank Rainbow Dash without Him even knowing it! I can’t even do that! He also told me that I could come visit if I can find the house again, and that’s easy-peasy! Then we all left and I had to show them the way out of the forest because they didn’t know it. Well, I guess I don’t really know it either, it’s just my Pinkie Sense telling me how to leave. But one funny thing did happen on the way back.

        Rarity came over to me and started asking me funny questions, like did he wear protection, was it nice, did he respect me.

        Well, we didn’t wear helmets, so I told her no on the first part, but it was a lot LOT LOT of fun, so I said yes to the second part. I couldn’t tell what she meant by respect me though, so I didn’t answer that. She kept on asking me those types of questions and looking at me funny. Seriously, you’d almost think me and Him had sex. Then I came home and worked the bakery counter for the rest of the night and then I went to bed and I saw you and you asked me to- Hey what’s that powder you have?

        Is that sugar?

        I don’t think it’s a good idea to just eat plain su-

        Why did you just blow it into my face?

        Hey what’s the frying pan fo-

> Royal Reveal
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        I can’t believe it! Trixie thought gleefully, using the parts of her brain not being occupied with the monotonous work involved in filing insurance claims and sorting out patient records. They asked me to put on a magic show as part of the Princess’s entertainment! It feels like it’s been forever since I got to perform! Trixie had been spending hours each night practicing and figuring out what tricks she wanted to do in the half-hour she was given, even excusing herself early from the daily meetings at the library. Not that was any great loss given the circumstances.

        I wonder how Twilight’s doing? She seems pretty stressed out about this visit from the Princess. Well I guess I can’t really blame her, it’s the Princess of our whole kingdom after all, but she seems really worked up over it all. She could barely concentrate on the magic the Princess sent along with her note telling her she would visit tomorrow. The whole town’s been in a frenzy trying to prepare. Oh well, at least it should be pretty fun. Trixie noticed that she had stopped moving, and forced herself to get back to her current larger-than-average workload. It had better be fun, I can’t believe this many ponies waited until today to reschedule their appointments. Thank Celestia- Trixie paused a moment to appreciate the irony of thanking the pony who’s the reason she’s in this mess, Thank Celestia that Card’s generous enough to give me all the money we get for being this inconvenienced. Now then, for the grand finale should I do a...

        Trixie continued to think about her upcoming show until she heard the door to Card’s office open, and out walked two mare’s, one a mint green unicorn and the other a pale yellow earth pony.

        “Thank you so much for your advice Dr. Card,” The mint one said.

        “No problem. I’ll see you both soon.” The two mares waved goodbye as they exited, shutting the door to the waiting room behind them. Once they left, Card turned to Trixie.

        “Pencil them in for another appointment in a week, same time but on sunday.” After they started getting a good amount of client’s who needed to be seen weekly, they had extended their working hours to being open on the weekends in the middle of the day. It was a bit rough at first, but since it was on the weekends Card was allowed to charge a little more than the weekday rates. All in all, a fair trade.

        “Okay. Still an hour and a half right?” Trixie asked as she made a note of the appointment.

        Card nodded his head.

        Trixie put away the appointment records to input into the computer, that she had finally been able to convince Card to buy, later. She took a moment to gaze at the picture of calm her boss was radiating. Card felt her eyes on him and spoke up.

        “Is there something on my face?” he asked.

        “How are you not excited?” Trixie asked incredulously. “Also, yeah just above your lip- No other side. There, you got it.”

        “Thanks. As for the excited part, I don’t really care. I mean, I’m not the one who’s going to perform.” Card walked into his office and grabbed a brown-paper covered box. “That reminds me. Here.” Card placed the box on Trixie’s desk. “Consider this a thank you for putting up with all this recent nonsense.”

        Trixie tore open the wrapping paper and opened the box to reveal, “A new outfit! Thank you so much!” Inside the box lay a new purple star-studded cape and hat combo. “I was worrying about performing without a costume!” She got up from behind her desk to hug her friend. “Thank you so much!”

        “I think you already said that,” Card pointed out as he hugged her back.

        “I don’t care! Thank you!” She let go of Card and put on her new clothes. “Well, how do I look?” She struck a pose.

        “You look-” Card was interrupted by a rolled up sheet of levitating paper very rudely appearing directly in front of his eyes. “Oh come on, does he not know the meaning of the word ‘vacation’?” He grabbed the roll out of the air and peeled up the wax seal, leaving Trixie looking at an upside down seal and the blank side of a letter. But her mind was not un-occupied.

        That was one of the cleanest transports I’ve ever seen. No whirling dust, no flash of light, just suddenly there. If it didn’t appear right in front of you, you probably wouldn’t notice it. Trixie admiration of the spell’s caster was cut short as she noticed the seal. What a strange looking mark. Just a sun with twelve tendrils, how boring. At least the horseshoe Celestia puts on her letter’s to Twilight has little holes for decoration. Trixie was snapped out of her reverie by Card rolling up the scroll and throwing it in his jacket with a scowl on his face.

        “How the hell did this happen,” he muttered. “What lis-” A small postcard appeared in front of Card’s eyes, in much the same remarkably unremarkable manner as the scroll.

        “Oh,” Card said as he took it out of the air, “Well, I guess this isn’t so ba-” Irony must have it out for ponies in this town, because the postcard suddenly had its backside flip down, and down again, leaving Card with a list three times bigger than the one he had before. Card sighed, and began to rub his temples.

        “This is going to take me ages,” Card muttered. “I don’t have any appointments tomorrow right?” he asked Trixie.

        “No, everypony rescheduled,” Trixie said after a quick glance at the appointment calendar file she kept open on her computer. “The next appointment you have after today isn’t until Sunday.”

        “Great. Well, it looks like I’m probably going to have to miss your show. You think you can handle it without me there?” he said in a friendly semi-condescending tone.

        Any sorrow Trixie felt at her friend not being able see one of the biggest performance’s of her life was dashed away immediately, but she still had to ask, “Why? What’s going on?”

        “Nothing serious,” Card reassured her, seeing the worried look on her face, “Just a mistake I made that’s going to take a long time to clean up. If I leave as soon as we’re done here, I should be able to be back in town by tomorrow evening.” He took a quick look at the clock they had mounted on the wall. “Now then, I have to go get things ready for our next client. See ya.”

        Trixie waved at him as he went into the office. Now then, back to filing. She turned around and saw the stack of papers that she still needed to go through. Joy.




-----Closing Time-----




        “Take care,” Card said as the last patient of the day left the office. “Okay, Trixie, could you lock up?”

        “Yeah, sure.”

        “Great.” Card threw a key on Trixie’s desk and rushed out the door.

        A few minutes later, Trixie had finished locking up all the files and left the building carrying her new costume in a bag. I had better put this away before I go visit Twilight. Should probably pick up Relicary while I’m there, It’s probably overdue by now. Trixie thought. She started down the road that lead to her apartment, mulling over her planned set for the show. She was so caught up in her thoughts, she didn’t notice she was home until she had nearly slammed into the front door.

        She entered in the passkey to let herself in, and rode the elevator up to the floor her apartment was located on. As she walked in she once again noticed the mess on her floor, and once again contemplated tidying up all the books and knick-knacks that cluttered it up. Oh, why bother. It’s not like anypony else will ever see the inside of this place. Since she had moved in all those months ago, Trixie had yet to have any guests over. Not Card, not Twilight, and as for inviting mares to stay over, it was kinda hard to do that when there were no places in town to pick any up.

        Damn small town, Trixie thought. The closest thing to a club here is when Pinkie throws her parties, and all the mares there are either straight or taken. While she was bemoaning her lack of a sex life, she dropped the bag with the costume onto her queen-sized bed, Damn waste of money, and picked up the trashy romance from her nightstand. When she was nearly out the door, her stomach rumbled. She went over to her small kitchen and looked into her refrigerator, seeing it was empty aside from a half full carton of milk, and few apples, some carrots, and container that held what was left of the salad she ordered for lunch a couple of days ago. Taking the salad out, she reminded herself to go shopping for food.

        After she finished her meal, she grabbed the book and left her apartment, leaving her plate on the table to clean at some later time. As she walked across town to the library, she saw signs of ponies hard at work, from street cleaners picking up any loose speck of dust they saw to shop-owners arranging and rearranging their window displays. Guess this far out in the country, a casual visit from Princess Celestia is a huge deal, she thought, Although, I guess Twilight played a big part in whipping them up into this big of a frenzy. Trixie let out a small chuckle as she remembered how much her friend was flipping out.

        A little while later, she finally arrived at the library. “Twilight, I brought back- Hey, where’s Twilight?” Trixie asked as she looked around the room.

        “She’s off trying to make sure everypony else’s house looks nice,” Spike said with a hint of scorn as he balanced precariously on a ladder, trying to fit a book back into it’s place.

        Poor Spike, Trixie thought as she looked around at the mess. Maybe I should help him. “Do you want some help?” she called at the pre-pubescent dragon, shocking him out of his concentration and making him tumble down the ladder into knocking over a huge pillar of books.

        “Would you?” he asked as he dug himself out of the pile.

        “Okay, stand back.” Trixie focused on her horn, forcing her magic to her will. A faint pink glow surrounded her horn, along with ten books. She called them over to her and, after checking all of their spines, sent them over to the places in the shelves they belonged, simultaneously picking up ten more books and bringing them over to herself. She repeated this cycle four times until she suddenly stopped. Panting heavily, she walked over to the bathroom to wipe the sweat out of her eyes, an awestruck dragon following her.

        “Wow! Twilight can’t do anything like that!” Spike said. “I mean, she can levitated books into their shelves, but she whenever she tries doing more than one at a time, the- Hey, are you okay?” he asked, noticing Trixie all but hanging off of the bathroom sink. “You look like you just ran through all of Ponyville.”

        “Yeah… Yeah, I’m fine,” Trixie said in between gasps for air. “That… That just takes a… A lot of energy.” She turned on the bathroom faucet and began drinking from the stream of water.

        “You sure you’re fine? I can do the rest of this by myself, you put away most of books that were up really high.”

        “Ahhhhh,” Trixie sighed as she removed her mouth from the water, “Nah, don’t worry. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll be able to help you with the rest of them,” she said.

        “Okay, if you’re sure,” Spike said doubtfully as he went back into the library.

        After a while, they finally finished cleaning up the mess.

        “Yeesh, it’s dark,” Spike said as he looked out the window. 

        “Yeah, it’s almost winter. Nights are getting longer,” Trixie responded.

        “Oh hey, Twilight’s back.” Spike ran to the entrance and opened up the door for his returning master. “How’s it been?”

        “Great!” Twilight said jubilantly. “Everything’s going perfectly according to plan! And, I got this fellow!” Twilight bowed her head, and out of her hair came…

        “A flying ping-pong ball?” Trixie asked.

        “It’s called a Parasprite. Go to Fluttershy’s she’ll be happy to give you one,” Twilight said.

        “No thanks, I don’t do well with pets.”

        “You sure?” Twilight pressed.

        “Yeah. Oh, that reminds me. Card told me to tell you that he won’t be here for the parade. Apparently something more important came up.” 

        Twilight was shocked, “What could be more important than a visit from the Princess?”

        Trixie shrugged her shoulders, “Oh, and don’t worry. I won’t bother you tomorrow night. I know you probably want to spend some time alone with the Princess, without anypony else here.”

        “What! Of course I want you here.” Twilight came over to Trixie and gave her a hug. “Why wouldn’t I want the Princess to meet my best friend?”

        “Oh…” Trixie was left speechless. “Well then. Uhm. It’s getting dark, I should probably be heading to bed. I’m probably going to spend all of tomorrow worrying about my performance. I’ll see you after my show.”

        “Oh dear!” Twilight took a look at the clock. “I should be going to sleep too, I can’t see the Princess all tired. Good night!”

        “Yeah, good night.” Trixie gave Twilight a hug to pay her back for the one she just gave her and left.




-----The Next Day-----




        “Thank you! Thank you!” Trixie yelled to make her voice heard over the roar of the crowd, “The Great and Powerful Trixie would love to stay, but her time is up. Thank you all and,” Trixie took a bow a swept off her hat, moving it in front of her body as she did so. She quickly cast a light illusion over her audience, making it seem as though the parts of her body that had the hat swept over them had disappeared. Once the illusion had gotten to the point that her whole body had vanished she dropped her hat in front of herself, letting it flop there on the floor. “Good-bye,” she said quietly, warmly, using her magic to send out the sound to the ears of every pony in her audience making it seem like a good-bye from an old friend. While the crowd was still raving, the curtain dropped down.

        Trixie let out a sigh of relief, Whew, glad that’s over with, she thought, I hope nopony noticed my little slip-up at the beginning. She remembered how her first illusion faltered when she saw Princess Celestia standing in the front row center, along with Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, Spike, Rainbow Dash, and the cute yellow pegasus, the really shy one whose wings kept on fluttering whenever she made something suddenly appear. What was her name again? Butterscotch? No, that doesn’t sound quite right.

        I wonder why Twilight looked so tired though? Did something happen today? Trixie hadn’t left her apartment since she woke up, she had spent the whole day working on making sure the show was perfect. Town square did look like a bit of a mess, she mused as she picked up her hat and walked off the stage, checking it for dust. Let’s see, there are still three more shows, so thats about an hour and a half. Then there’s the big party after that, and that’s supposed to go ‘till midnight. Trixie packed away her new costume into a bag and went out of the backstage area. She could hear the band that was following her act start their set. 

        She toyed with the thought of going down to sit with Twilight, but the area around her happened to be part of the area around the Princess, which was packed. None of the acts coming up really interested her all that much either. Well, no point in sticking around here. Might as well go home.

        Trixie was walking out of the building, carrying her bag, relishing the evening air, and enjoying the sense of well-earned emptiness that came with knowing that the information you had crammed into your brain had served its purpose and could now be let go.

        A shout of “Trixie!” came from just behind her. She turned around and saw Twilight exiting the theater, along with-

        “Your majesty!” Trixie gave a quick curtsy, only for the bag of clothes she had balanced upon her back to tumble off. They were saved from hitting the ground by a soft orange aura.

        “Oh please, there is no need for that,” Celestia said as she lowered the bag to the ground. Despite her words, she had an expression of faint joy on her face.

        “I- I am so sorry,” Trixie stuttered out as she attempted to levitate her bag back onto her back, a task made much more difficult by the fact that her nervousness made her unable to properly steady the bag.

        “Here, let me,” Twilight said as her bright, bold, purple glow replaced Trixie’s faint, pale, blue one around the bag. Once the bag was steadied by her, the three started moving towards the library and Trixie was suddenly struck with the realization that something was wrong.

        “Forgive me for asking this Princess, but why aren’t you still inside enjoying the rest of the show? Also if you’re out here, where’s Spike?” Okay so I was wrong, it was two things.

        “Spike wanted to keep watching the show,” Twilight said, by which she meant, ‘Spike wanted to keep watching Rarity watch the show’, “and Princess Celestia wanted to leave.”

        “I’m afraid that I wasn’t terribly interested in most of those performances,” Celestia said. “I was going to simply appear at the start and then quietly make my leave, but my dear little student insisted on staying to watch your show.”

        Trixie apologized profusely. “Oh, I’m so, so, sorry to have inconvenienced you like that.”

        Celestia dismissed her apologies with a wave of her hoof. “Don’t be, that was some of the absolute finest illusionary work I have seen in a long time,” she said. “Your level of fine control is staggering, Ms…” Celestia cast a significant look at Twilight.

        Twilight, realizing her blunder, introduced the two with a blush on her face. “Trixie, this is my teacher. Princess Celestia, meet my best friend.”

        “Charmed,” Celestia said as she extended a hoof that Trixie took with a mix of reverence and fear, “I must say, it’s so nice to finally meet you.”

        Trixie was afraid to opening her mouth, for fear she might puke.

        “I can’t describe how happy I was to hear that my precious little student had found a friend to study with.”

        “Thank you for letting me do that.”

        The rest of the walk was spent just mindlessly chatting, to the point where Trixie forgot she was speaking the Princess.

        “We’re here,” Twilight announced as they came up the the library. She unlocked the door and let them all in.

        “I’m going to make some coffee, anyone else want some?” Trixie asked as she placed her bag on the floor and went into the kitchen.

        “Yes please,” Celestia said.

        “Me too,” Twilight said.

        Trixie set a full pot of coffee to brewing and came back into the main area of the library.

        “So, Princess Celestia,” Twilight said hesitantly, “what brings you here?”

        “Ahh, well I’m afraid that this visit was not as random as I may have lead you to believe,” Celestia admitted with a serious look on her face.

        Twilight got a look of terror, She’s going to send me to magic kindergarten! she thought.

        Celestia noticed the look on her disciples face and grinned, saying, “Nothing bad, I assure you.”

        Twilight gave a sigh of relief.

        “My little sister’s birthday is coming up soon, and I’d like to have you and the other elements of harmony present at her dinner as guests. She hasn’t gotten very much interaction outside of the palace I’m afraid, and I’m hoping that being around ponies who she doesn’t know very well but does trust will help break her out of her shell.”

        “Oh!” Twilight got a stunned look on her face. “Oh. Of course, but…” Twilight cast a look at Trixie, who was sitting there feeling awkward.

        Celestia noticed and reassured Twilight, saying, “Of course, Trixie is more then welcome to come as well.”

        “I am honored, Princess,” Trixie said humbly.

        “Yes, thank you. It’s not just that though,” Twilight said, “there’s someone else, my other friend.”

        “Oh? Your letters never mentioned another,” Celestia said.

        “I didn’t know how to describe him…”

        “Him?” Celestia said, drawing out the word with a gossipy look on her face.

        “No! No, no, no. It’s not like that, really,” Twilight said.

        Celestia felt some disappointment at Twilight’s words, which she could tell were honest and not the deflections of a young maiden who’s refusing to admit her love. “Oh. Well, who is it?”

        “His name is-”

        *Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

        “I’ll get it.” Twilight stood up and opened the door. “Oh, hi Card. We were jus- Yeah, please come right in.” She said to stallion walking past her into her kitchen.

        “The outlet in your kitchen is just to the side of the stove right?” he called out.

        “Uhmm. Yeah. Card, this is-”

        “Thanks Twinkly!” He disappeared into the kitchen. “Oh sweet, you already have some fresh made!” he said from inside.

        The three mares looked at each other in turn, each stunned. Trixie and Twilight for how Card just completely brushed off the Princess, and Celestia for another reason altogether. As one, the mares stood up and went into the kitchen. Insert joke about that here.

        Inside the kitchen they saw Card take the coffee pot, and pour it all into a machine that Twilight and Trixie assumed he pulled out of his jacket. Once all the coffee was in, he closed the lid and began pushing on the lever.

        “Mggnhhgnnahggnfaa,” and various other sounds of exertion came out of his mouth. Now that he was standing still long enough for the mares to get a good look at him, they could see obvious signs of severe fatigue. His eyes were drooping, and he kept on leaning his weight against the counter.

        Eventually he was able to press all the coffee through the machine, at which point he poured the strange colored liquid into a boiling pan that he took from his jacket. He set the pan onto Twilight’s stove and turned up the heat. He then sat down in front of it. After a few seconds of watching it warm up, he spoke.

        “Boil, damn you,” he said with a look directed at the pan that may have been called a glare if it wasn’t being delivered through eyes that were fighting to stay open.

        “I could make it boil right now,” Celestia offered. Card didn’t even turn to look at her.

        “H-” Card sighed, putting his hoof firmly onto his forehead. “I’m tired, would one of you two explain to her why that wouldn’t work,” he said as he waved his hoof around in Trixie and Twilight’s general direction.

        The two previously mentioned mares jaws slammed straight into the ground. Card was insulting the Princess! The most powerful mare in Equestria! What was he thinking? Did he want to take a little trip to the moon. They focused their gaze onto Celestia, trying to see how she would react to this. She shrugged it off.

        “Are you making Klava?” she asked.

        Card let out a sound that was heading towards being a grunt of affirmation but got lost along the way.

        “Might I have some?”

        Same sound again. That was the last noise in the room for the next minute until the liquid finally boiled, a thin layer of oil covering the top of it. Card setup a filter cloth and poured the klava through into a large container. From that container, he decanted the steaming hot klava into a mug and added some cream and sugar to it.

        He took a deep draught. As he drank, he became noticeably more awake. He lowered the mug for a second and let out a deep, satisfied, “Aaaahhhhh.”

        When she saw that he was finally fully coherent, Celestia said, “Hello Card.”

        Card took one look at her and went right back to drinking.

        Celestia was confused for a brief moment, before she look down and saw that she was wearing her regalia. With a short little chuckle at herself, she levitated her necklace and her tiara off of her body.

        Once the two pieces of jewelry were safely on a table, she turned her attention back to Card, who now had his full focus on her.

        She flared up her wings, and extended her forelegs. Card saw this and rolled his eyes, but he put down his drink and walked over to her.

        “It’s good to see you again Card,” Celestia said as she embraced him.

        “Yeah, it’s nice to see you too, Auntie.”

> Realization
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Honey. Cream. A strange hint of hickory that should have seemed out of place but flowed beautifully into thick scent of the coffee. This strange, enticing mix of smells brought Twilight back into consciousness. As she opened her eyelids, she became aware of a blurry figure standing over her. The groggy blurriness that accompanies waking up soon based and the figure soon resolved itself into Princess Celestia.

        “Oh good! You’re awake,” Celestia said as she lowered the mug she was levitating in front of Twilight’s nostrils onto the floor.

        “Ughh,” Twilight said as she attempted to force herself to sit upright. “What happened. Ow.” She gingerly touched the side of her head, finding a small bump that wasn’t there before.

        “You fainted,” Trixie said from the place where she sat on the floor, drinking from a mug that had the same smell as the one that revived Twilight.

        “Why?” Twilight asked. “Did another pillow hit me?

        “No,” Trixie said.

        “Well then what happened?”

        “Beats me,” Card said as he walked out of her kitchen with a recently refilled mug. “I was in the middle of being suffocated by my dear old auntie- Oh there she goes again.”

        *Thunk*

        Fortunately, Twilight was still sitting down and fell back onto the pillow they had placed under her unconscious head. As such, reviving her was a much simpler task the second time around. This time it was Card who was standing over her as she awoke, Trixie still at her side.

        Twilight reacted with the grace you would expect her to, “Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-” she said as she did a stunning impression of a fish gasping for breath.

        Card lightly smacked her to get her back to her senses. Once that was done he asked, “Are you okay?”

        Twilight nodded dumbly.

        “Are you sure?”

        “Yes.”

        “Good,” Card said as he helped her back to her feet. “What are you looking at?” he asked Celestia.

        Celestia was gazing at the three with the most peculiar expression upon her royal visage. “Nothing,” she said with a slight smile.

        “Right. Well, if that’s all.” Card left the library room and went back into the kitchen. Shortly after, the three mares could hear the sink turn on. 

        “Twilight, are you sure you’re okay?” Trixie asked.

        “Y- yeah. I’m fine.” Twilight’s mind cast out, looking for something, anything that could change the subject. She finally saw her opportunity when her gaze fell upon an unclaimed mug on the table. She quickly levitated it over to herself. “What’s this?”

        “That is Klava,” Celestia said. “It’s a very good drink that is quite popular farther in the north-east.”

        Twilight gave it a try. As she did, her mouth became overrun by sensation. The sticky sweetness of honey, diluted and yet strengthened by the strange thickness of cream. Right there alongside it, not melding together but not completely separate either, was the fresh, rousing taste of coffee, but without any of the bitterness accompanying it that she had grown accustomed to. All of these tastes, held together by the faint undercurrent of hot cinnamon and smoky hickory.

        “Wow,” Twilight said, her vast vocabulary taking a momentary leave to allow her brain more processing power to enjoy the experience.

        “I know,” Trixie agreed.

        As Twilight prepared herself for another sip, her eyes fell upon her clock. “10:25! How is it so late?”

        “The first time you passed out, it took us a while to wake you up,” Celestia explained. “Card had the idea of using the klava as a type of smelling-salt.”

        This reminder of her fainting and, more importantly, the reason she fainted, caused an awkward silence come over Twilight as she stood there sipping her drink.

        Eventually, the sink in the kitchen turned off and Card came out.

        “Well it’s been fun, but I really need to get going,” Card announced as he head to the door.

        “Oh no you don’t,” Celestia said.

        Card groaned. “What? I still have to send in my report, and I have work in the morning.”

        “You’re not heading out alone like that.” Celestia was firm. “You look like you’re about to fall over.”

        Indeed, in the hours between Card arriving and having his Klava, his body had gotten over the initial caffeine rush and signs of tiredness were once more decorating his face. Signs that became obvious to Twilight and Trixie once Celestia had pointed them out.

        “I’ll be fine,” Card said. As he turned to face his aunt, he caught sight of the looks of worry on his best friends faces. He sighed. “Look, if it bothers you that much, I’ll call up an escort.” He reached into his jacket and drew out a small bell made out of some strange purple substance.

        The sound it made as he rang it was quite quiet, almost non-existent, but it seemed to reverberate in the bones of those who heard it. He tossed it back into his jacket and took a seat by the door.

        Trixie, deciding that now that one of her friends was no longer unconscious it was the perfect time to tease the other one, said “So, your Highness-” And was immediately cut off.

        “Don’t,” Card said as he held up a hoof. “Please, just- don’t.” This wasn’t like Celestia where the dismissal of formalities was done with a small smile, showing that she did get a thrill out of being called Princess. As Card asked Trixie not to call him, “Your Highness,” His expression was uncomfortable, almost pained.

        Suddenly, Card stood up. “Come on Trixie,” he said.

        “What?”

        “I’m not going to have you coming into work tomorrow all drowsy. Come on, I’ll take you home.”

        “Oh.” Trixie was taken aback by this proposal, but agreed. She walked over to the door, the Princess and Twilight coming up as well to say good-bye

        “Good-night Princess, Twilight.” She bowed to the Princess and hugged her friend.

        “Good-night Auntie.” Card gave his aunt a hug, quickly struggling his way out of it as she started to squeeze him too tight. “Sweet dreams Twinkly,” he said as he lifted up a hoof and messed up her hair. “See you tomorrow.”

        “Yeah. See you,” Twilight said hollowly, heading back towards the center of the library.

        “Oh, that reminds me!” Celestia said. “Card, I know you haven’t met Luna before but it’s her birthday soon. I would like it if you could come over for a couple of days.”

        “Yeah, I know,” Card said as he opened the door. “The old fogey already told me. Can’t wait.”

        He and Trixie stepped outside into the darkness. “Wait, what about your escort?” Trixie asked.

        Card spotted a pair of glowing lime-green eyes. “There he is.”

        The eyes grew closer and closer, until finally they came into the light pouring out from Twilight’s library. They were attached to a large wolf, that seemed to be made entirely out of wood.

        “Timberwolf!” Trixie shrieked. She began backing up, and started gathering up magic to repel the vicious animal.

        Card reached out and stroked the wolf along its head. “Good boy,” he said as the timberwolf sat down, its tail wagging. 

        Card turned back to Trixie, “Come on,” he said with a jerk of his head. “Let’s go.” He started down the path and, after she picked her jaw back up, Trixie left as well.

        Celestia closed the door behind the two, and started chuckling to herself as she put on her tiara and necklace. “He’s growing up,” she whispered. She then turned her attention to the lilac mare in the center of the room. “Well Twilight, I must be going soon. While I’m here would you like to give me your friendship report?” 

        “...How?” the downcast mare muttered.

        “Excuse me?”

        “I told him everything, I trusted him, why won’t he trust me?”

        “What do you mean?” Celestia asked.

        Twilight finally noticed that Celestia was still in the room. She decided to ask her the question. 

        “How do you know if somepony is your friend or not?” Twilight asked. “Even if you think of them as one of your best, how do you know they think the same thing?”

        Celestia was left speechless. “Is this about Card?” she finally asked.

        “Yes!” Twilight yelled, tears boiling in her eyes but refusing to fall. “I told him about Shining Armor, about being an Element of Harmony, everything! And in return, he tells me nothing! How is that a friendship!?”

        Celestia attempted to comfort her apprentice, but her attempts were shaken off. She tried to think of someway to assure her pupil that things were alright. Her eyes came upon the pillow that lay where Twilight had fainted.

        “You know, Card is the one who put that there,” she said.

        Twilight looked upon her with confusion. “What?”

        “He heard that you had fallen and forced himself out of my grip to rush over to your side. He even carefully checked you over to see if you were okay,” Celestia continued. “When he saw that you were fine, he grabbed a pillow and put it under your head. Then he went off to make you Klava for when you woke up. Whenever he saw that it was starting to cool, he drank it and quickly made you a new cup.”

        “He really did that for me?” Twilight asked disbelievingly.

        Celestia nodded. “My nephew is very slow to open up about his history. Even I don’t know all about what he’s been through. But I do know one thing. It’s a very rare occasion indeed that he goes out of his way to inconvenience himself to help someone else. Even if you know very little about someone, even if they are unwilling to tell you about themselves, it does not mean they do not care for you.”

        Twilight nodded her head. She understood, “Card will tell me about himself when is ready. If ever. Thank you, Princess.” Twilight bowed.

        Celestia put on a subtle smile, embracing her student. “I think that the friendship report will be unnecessary today. This was very fun.”

        “Good night Princess.”

        “Good night, my little pony.” And with a flash of light and a little pop, Celestia teleported away.

        I think it’s time for bed. Spike can let himself in. Twilight made her way up to her bed and collapsed, taking a well deserved rest.

> Confrontation
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “Can I see your ID?” Trixie asked the light blue mare.

        “Certainly. Here.”

        “Thank you.” The light blue mare, Colgate, had just gotten out of her appointment with Card, and Trixie was checking over her insurance to make sure it covered it. By this point Trixie had been working for Card for two months, and she could go through the necessary motions in her sleep so her mind was free to linger on the point it had been stuck at for the last few hours, ever since last night.

        I have to tell him, it’s only fair, she thought. Yes, that does it. As soon as this mare is gone, I’m telling him.

        “Okay, everything checks out.” Trixie hoofed Colgate's insurance card and ID back to her, along with a receipt. “Good-bye.”

        “Good-bye. Thank you, doctor,” Colgate said to Card as she left.

        “No problem. See you next week.” And with that, Card shut the door behind her. He turned to face Trixie.

        “We only have an hour for lunch, let’s get it delivered. I say pizza,” Card said as he walked over to her desk, sitting down across from her.

        “I’m gay,” Trixie blurted out.

        “So, what do you want?” Card asked as he picked up the phone.

        Maybe he didn’t hear me? Trixie thought. “I’m a lesbian. I-I like mares,” she said, a bit louder this time.

        “You know, I don’t think it’s legal to order those. And I know it’s illegal to eat them,” Card said. “Maybe a sandwich,” he mused.

        Trixie had known she was a lesbian for a good few years, since she was a teenager. While she had long since come to terms with her own sexuality, she still hesitated in telling other ponies, largely because they all had such huge reactions to it. Some were congratulatory, some were a bit uncomfortable around her afterwards, and a couple ponies flat out cut all ties with her, but they all had some kind of reaction, good or bad. But apathy? That was a new one.

        “No, no pizza’s fine,” she said, a bit distracted by this unexpected turn of events.

        Card dialed up the pizza parlor and just ordered the usual, half triple layer four cheese for him, and half mega combo for Trixie, along with a couple cans of root beer.

        Once he got off the phone, Trixie asked him, “Doesn’t it bother you?” but what she meant was, “Don’t you care?”

        Card raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Why? I wasn’t planning on sleeping with you.”

        Oh, well I guess that ma- Hey! Trixie thought. “What’s that supposed to mean? Am I not good enough for you?” she asked in mock seriousness.

        “Eeehhh.” Card looked her up and down. “You’re not my type,” he said with a smirk.

        “What! Look at this!” Trixie said, still in the same joking tone, as she ran her hooves along her body. “How could you not want this?”

        Card just let out a small chuckle, “Pizza will be here in 30. You wanna go shoot some pool?”

        “Yeah, sure.” Trixie and Card went into his office and over to the pool table, where Card always kept the balls racked up and ready for play.

        “You really need to repaint these walls,” Trixie said, as she always did whenever she went into Card’s office. “Just plain white, not even any pictures or posters or anything. It’s so… boring.”

        Card ignored her, instead picking up his cue and asking her if she wanted to break. Trixie said yes, and the game began.

        After a few shots, Trixie’s mind wandered back to what he said earlier. “So, who is your type?” she asked as Card lined up his shot.

        “Not telling.” Card hit the cue ball away from any of his scores. “Your turn.”

        “Why did you do tha- Oh you bastard.” Card had managed to position the cue ball in such a way that Trixie would either have to risk knocking one of his balls in or hitting the eight-ball in by accident. She chose to knock his 10-ball in, all the while glaring at Card’s smirk.

        “What about Twilight?” Trixie asked, bringing the subject back. “Is she your type?”

        “Nah. Studious schoolfilly doesn’t really do it for me,” Card said. “And there’s something about her haircut that just bugs me. Dammit, missed.” Card straightened up.“Your turn.”

        “Hmm…” Trixie lined up her shot, “What about, say, Rarity? Classy, mature, takes care of herself.” Trixie knocked the 4-ball in. She gave mini-hoof pump and starting looking for her next shot.

        “Too much makeup, too much of a drama queen,” Card said. 

        “Rainbow Dash? Sporty, playful, focused- Which I really should be right now, shit.” Trixie had just scratched the cue ball.

        “That’s what you get.” Card retrieved the cue ball. “Anyways, Rainy seems like she would be a pain to date. With how self-centered she is, every disagreement would become a huge argument. I know a few guys who like that, but I’m not one of them.” Card put down the cue ball in a place where he could sink both the 12 and 15-balls, and started chalking up his cue.

        “Wait, what?” Trixie asked, confused. “Who’s talking about relationships? I’m asking who you would like to bang. You know, one night stand.”

        “Oh.” Card took his shot, but messed up the rebound and missed the 15. “Well then I can make it easier on you. I don’t like one night stands, and honestly I don’t really care about just sex.”

        Trixie cocked her head to the side and let out a confused sound, followed by, “What do you mean?”

        “I just don’t think it’s that great.” Card missed the 15 again. “Your turn.”

        “You just said you have a type.”

        “There are certain traits I enjoy more than others. Now make your move.”

        Trixie tried, but was so distracted by this that she completely missed. Trying desperately to refocus herself, she picked up where she left off. “Fine then, what about Jackie? She’s tough, sweet, fair, honest, hard-working, compassionate, and smoking hot.”

        “Did something happen between you two?” Card asked as he lined up his shot with the 14-ball.

        “I asked her out,” Trixie admitted.

        “How’d that go?” He took the shot, and sunk it. “C’mon Trixie, step it up. I’ve only got two left and you still have five.”

        “Yeah, yeah, rub it in,” Trixie mumbled, before going to back to Applejack. “She turned me down. Said she wasn’t looking for a relationship.”

        “Ah.”

        “Yeah. And also, she’s straight.”

        Card clicked his tongue sympathetically. “Sucks.”

        “Nah, it happens,” Trixie said. “I’m used to it. But we weren’t talking about me, what do you think of Jackie?”

        “She’s okay. Little too serious for my taste, and a bit too set in her ways, but overall fine. I do have to say though, she probably has the nicest body out of all the mares you brought up. Perfect balance of muscle tone throughout her body, as opposed to say, Rainy, who is a little lopsided. Too much specialized exercise.” He missed the 15 ball again.

        “What about Fluttershy?” Trixie asked while thinking, Yes, got her name right!.

        “Who?”

        “Yellow pegasus, pink hair, butterflies for a cutie mark.” Trixie described as she lined up her shot which, if she did it right, would not only sink her 3-ball but put her in a position to put away her 6-ball

        “Oh, I think I know who you’re talking about.”

        “Well?” 

        “Well what?”

        “What do you think of her?”

        “Meh.”

        “Meh?!” Trixie was so shocked she missed her shot completely, but she didn’t care.

        “Meh.”

        “But she’s so cute!” Trixie said in disbelief.

        “Yeah, and that’s really the problem,” Card explained. “She’s cute. Just cute. Twinkly is cute and smart, she’s always willing to learn more and try new things. Rainy is cute and athletic, she’ll encourage you to do more. Stay-puft is cute and regal, she’ll always make things seem classier than they are. Jackie is cute and grounded, she’ll always keep you focused on how good things are. But Fluttershy is just generically cute, with everything accompanying that. It’s boring, at least to me.” Card sank the 15-ball. “8-ball side pocket.” He made the shot, and the game was over.

        “What am I?” Trixie asked.

        “You’re cute and charming. Wanna play again?” Card said as he racked up the balls

        “Sure, but you break now. You wanna hear what I think of you?” Trixie asked.

        “Nope. Come on, I’ve broken, you go.”




-----Near the End of the Lunch Break-----




        “You know, it just occured to me,” Trixie said as she finished off her last slice of pizza, “My apartment is way closer to Ricardo’s then this place. Why is it always delivered faster here?”

        “They like me more,” Card responded. “I tip better.”

        “Huh.” 

        The two friends sat in comfortable silence for a few seconds.

        *Ring-Ring-Ring*

        The alarm on Trixie’s desk went off, signaling the end of their lunch. While she went to go turn it off, Card walked back into his office.

        “I’ve got to go prepare for the next patient, would you clean this all up?” he asked.

        Trixie gave a grunt of confirmation and set about throwing away the pizza box and soda cans, along with picking up the napkins they had used and just left lying around the floor.

        As she was busy doing that, the door burst open.

        “Hello!” Pinkie cried as she bounced in, carrying a small pink bag around her neck. She went over to Trixie and started talking to her. “I have a meeting with the doctor only it was supposed to be four days ago but then I had to start planning a huge party for the Princess so I couldn’t come and had to change times to right now so I told myself,” Pinkie shifted her voice to a faux-serious tone,  “‘Pinkie, remember when now comes you need to go to the four floor-’ That’s so much fun to say! Four floor, four floor, four floor, oh wait I was telling you why I’m here. Well like I sai-”

        Trixie cut off Pinkie. “You have an appointment?” she asked as she pulled up the appointment files on the computer.

        “Uh-huh!” Pinkie said as she vigorously nodded her head.

        “What is your name?”

        “Pinkie Pie!”

        “Do you have some form of ID?”

        “Uhhmm…” Pinkie scrunched up her eyebrows and thought really hard. “Oh!” She reached into the little bag and pulled out her Ponyville resident’s ID. “I almost forgot why I brought that! Here!”

        Trixie checked that the ID matched the medical records. “Okay, you’re good. Feel free to go in.” She hoofed back the ID and waved Pinkie through the door.

        “Thank you!” Pinkie bounded into the office.




-----Inside Card’s Office-----




        “Hello, Pie,” Card said, already wearing the pimp hat and shutter shades.

        Pinkie Pie took one look at him and fell down laughing.  Card sat in his chair, waiting for the mare to stop rolling on the floor. After a few minutes she did, and got up.

        “You- You can take thos- those off,” Pinkie said in between giggles.

        “Oh?” Card asked as he took the hat and shades off and placed them upon his desk, picking up a notepad. “Please take a seat. So, you’re no longer having the nightmares?”

        “Nope!” Pinkie gleefully replied as she lay back, before stopping for a moment and saying, “Well, yep, but nope,” she said, her eyes far off in thought.

        “What do you mean?”

        “Well sometimes your angry eyes come and glare at me and I’m really scared, but then you’re nicer eyes come and I feel better. Also, sometimes there are eyes that just look a little bored watching it all,” she recounted, her hair slowly becoming more and more straight. “But it doesn’t happen very often.” Pinkie then sat up and looked straight at Card. “How do you that anyways?” she asked.

        “Do what?”

        “Become an entirely different pony,” Pinkie explained. “First you were all meany-mean when I first met you, then you became all nicey-nice when you came to visit, and right now you just seem blank, like all you are is something for me to talk to and listen to.”

        “Huh.” Card wrote something down in his notepad. “I believe I asked you to do something when you were last here? How’d that go?”

        “It went fine,” Pinkie replied. “You were right, I was able to find something I didn’t like about all of my friends.”

        “And how has that affected how you see them?” 

        “It hasn’t. They’re still my friends, and that will never change!” Pinkie said adamantly.

        “I see. Would you care to tell me what the things that bothered you about them were?” Card asked. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but telling someone will help make you feel better about it.”

        “Okie-dokie.” Pinkie lay back down onto the therapist sofa. “Let’s see…,” she thought.

        “Well, first there’s Rainbow Dash,” Pinkie said, the words pouring out her mouth like a waterfall. “She’s a great friend, but she only ever helps out if somepony has a really REALLY big problem. She never helps with anything small, it always has to be something big enough that she’ll be thanked for it.

        “Fluttershy is always nice, and always willing to help me even if it bothers her, but she’s so… so… spineless. Don’t get me wrong, she’s brave where it counts, like in the dragons cave!” Card raised an eyebrow, but Pinkie didn’t notice, “It’s just, she’s never brave for herself.

        “Rarity is generous, but she never just relaxes. She’s always trying to get somewhere, she never stops.

        “Applejack is devoted and works so hard that I can’t believe she can still walk without falling over, but she never tries anything new. She doesn’t trust it. You know what she always orders? Vanilla cupcake with chocolate frosting. Always. Can you believe it? How can she never try anything else for nearly FIVE years? It’s unbelievable.

        “Twilight is always willing to learn, whenever she starts talking about magic she looks like the colts and fillies that press their noses up against the pastry glass who can’t believe how many different things there are. But she’s so stubborn. She didn’t even consider that the poison joke might be a curse, called the idea silly. She was right, but still!” Pinkie finally finished, her chest heaving.

        “Is that it?” Card asked.

        “Yeah. You were right, I do feel a bit better, thanks!”

        “What about Mr. and Mrs. Cake?”

        Pinkie froze. “Wh- what about them?”

        “They’re important to you too, what did you find out about them that you don’t like?”

        Pinkie’s hair went all the way flat, and slightly gray. Card noticed this, saying, 

        “If you don’t want to talk about it-”

        Pinkie stopped him, “No, no. It- It’s just…” Pinkie sighed. “They gave me a place to live and a job, they put up with my parties, they got me Gummy, they’re so nice, but…”

        “But?” Card gently prompted.

        “They met me when I was sixteen, I’m twenty-one now, and they treat me like I’m ten!” Pinkie shouted the last part. “I’m not a little filly, and they think I need to be protected! I go into the Everfree forest almost daily, I’m in charge of one of the most important parts of winter wrap-up, I even helped defeat NightMare Moon!” Pinkie’s eyes were starting to water. Card hoofed her the tissue box her kept on his desk for just such occasions. She took it and wiped her eyes. “Thank you.”

        “You okay?”

        “Yeah, yeah I think I’m fine.” Pinkie balled up the napkin and threw it into the wastepaper basket near Card’s desk. Her eyes bounced around the room for a while, before settling on the pool table. “Can we play a game?” she asked as she gestured towards it.

        “Oh, certainly,” Card said as he got up out of his chair. “You still remember the rules?”

        “Yep.” Pinkie grabbed a cue.

        “Okay then, you break.” After she did so, Card asked her another question.

        “You said you feel like Mr. and Mrs. Cake treat you like a filly, correct? What do you mean by that?” 

        “They just always talk to me like I’m ten,” Pinkie said as Card took his shot.

        “Could you elaborate?” Card’s shot failed to make any balls go in.

        “Well, whenever I show Mrs. Cake my ideas for something new to sell, she always talks about it like it’s the greatest thing ever made.” Pinkie lined up her move.

        “I don’t see how that’s bad.”

        “It’s just the way she acts. Like she doesn’t think I can handle criticism. I can deal with being told I’m wrong, or that I made a mistake.” Pinkie knocked in the 2-ball, designating her as solids for this game.

        “And what about Mr. Cake?”

        “He always acts like I need to be watched at all times. He always asks me where I’m going, and if I ever have a stallion over he freaks out.” Pinkie failed to connect on her next move, but she continued speaking regardless, “He won’t let me try and help out with the bills. I use water and electricity in the house too, and I want to help pay for it, but whenever I bring it up he just changes the subject.”

        “Hmm.” Card pocketed the 13-ball, but then paused for a minute to think. “What do you call them?”

        “Huh?” Pinkie cocked her head to the side.

        “When you talk to them, what do you call them?”

        “I call them Mr. and Mrs. Cake. What else would I call them?” Pinkie asked confusedly as she leaned on her cue.

        “Do you know their first names?”

        “Of course I do! It’s Carrot and Cup,” Pinkie said, almost offended.

        “Why don’t you try calling them by their first names,” Card suggested. “Calling ponies by their last name makes them think of you as an inferior, or a foal in this case.” He turned his attention back onto the game. He made an attempt at the 11-ball but missed completely.

        “You really think that would help?” Pinkie asked.

        “Yeah. Do the work without being asked, take some initiative, clean up after yourself. Things like that, things that show them that you don’t need their help, go a long way in making others respect you,” Card explained.

        Pinkie took a shot, missed, and said, “Okie-dokie, I’ll try it. Thank you.”

        “It’s what I’m here for. Speaking of…” Card trailed off.

        “What?” Pinkie asked, a touch concerned.

        Card gathered his thoughts briefly before speaking, “You are a well adjusted, fairly stable, very perceptive, intelligent mare.”

        “Oh. Thank you!” a flattered Pinkie said.

        “So, I don’t think I can help you very much. Rather, you don’t need my help. I’ve shown you the road that can take you to a better place, but you’ll need to travel it on your own. If it ever comes to a point where you really, honestly, think you need my help, just give me a call. Other than that, there’s not much I can do for you.”

        “What are you saying?”

        “I don’t think you need to set up another appointment. At least, not right now,” Card finished, and with that he turned his attention back to the game.

        “You think I’m normal?!” an uplifted Pinkie asked/hoped, her hair back into it’s fullest, pinkest, and curliest form.

        “No,” Card stated.

        “Oh.” Immediately Pinkie’s hair went back to being straight.

        “Why would you want to be? Normal is boring, normal is dull. You’re fun, you’re bright.”

        “Oh!” Pinkie got a bit of a blush, barely noticeable against her pink cheeks.

        Card didn’t notice, and was still talking, “What you aren’t, is broken. And so, you don’t need me fix you.” He took his shot, and nailed in the 12 and 10-balls.

        “Well, th- thank you,” Pinkie said, suddenly shy.

        Card made an attempt at the 9-ball, but accidently hit the eight ball in. “Damnit,” he swore, before turning to Pinkie. “You wanna play again?”

        “Sure!” Pinkie said, and so the game was started anew. Pinkie was back to normal, but with one strange difference. Her mane was still bright red, as bright a shade it had ever been before, but her hair wasn’t piled up into a mess of curls. Instead, it hung around her face, like a waterfall. While her brain processed what just happened, the rest of the session went in a comfortable silence, only interrupted by the clack of the balls and the swearing of Card.

> Pillow Talk
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “10:45 p.m. bound for San Prancisco has arrived,” boomed over the loudspeakers of Canterlot station.

        “FINALLY!” was heard throughout the station as a cyan blur came bursting out of the train.

        “Oh calm down, darling.” said Rarity as she wheeled her luggage off the train, “You’re making a scene.” 

        Rainbow Dash’s enthusiasm could not be contained, flying in circles around her friends as they made their way off. “It feels so good to fly again after four hours inside that cramped little box!”

        “It was hardly cramped,” Twilight pointed out as she began to look over a map she had pulled from her saddlebag. “We had a whole car to ourselves.”

        Rainbow Dash ignored her, “No more stuffy air!” She began to add little flips to her circles.

        “Really, now! Ponies are starting to stare!” As Rarity continued her attempts to calm her friend down, Trixie started talking.

        “Four hours of her bitching on the train, and when we get off she starts doing this?” she groaned. She meant to mumble it to herself, but Applejack happened to hear.

        “Ah know,” she whispered. “Ah can’t believe Ah’m saying this, but Ah almos’ prefer her bellyachin’.”

        Trixie giggled, before saying, “Well look on the bright side. At least now she’s farther away.” The two mares had a good chuckle over that before a sharp whistle from Twilight got their attention.

        After everypony made their way next to the train where Twilight was standing. 

        “Ok, is everypony here?” she asked.

        “Uhm…” Fluttershy meekly raised her hoof.

        “Yes, Fluttershy?”

        “Where’s Pinkie?” she said in a quiet voice.

        Quickly each mare’s head began to twist and turn as they looked over the station to find their energetic friend. It was a few tense seconds before Rainbow Dash finally said,

        “There she is!” she motioned towards a nearby dessert stand, where Pinkie was all but pressed up with her nose against the glass. Quickly the group rushed to the mare.

        “And I’ll have a chocolate-cherry, and a vanilla-mint chocolate chip, and- Oh hi!” Pinkie’s attention shifted her friends, asking them, “Did you know that they make ice cream filled cupcakes here! I can’t believe I never thought of that, that’s such a good idea! And the cupcakes are HUGE!!!” the overjoyed mare made wild motions with her forehooves to properly demonstrate their hugeitude. I know that’s not a real word, but I’m using it anyways. I’m the narrator. I can do that.

        Twilight sighed, and shook her head. Typical Pinkie. she thought. “Okay, if that’s everypony, we should make our way to-”

        “Where’s Card?” Trixie asked.

        “...I don’t know,” Twilight admitted. “I haven’t seen him since we got on.”

        “Oh! He said he was going to take a nap!” Pinkie said as she paid for her many purchases, “I thought it was really weird because when we left it was evening, but I guess he was just really tired. He didn’t even come out to eat any of the cupcakes I brought, and I made sure to bring enough for him too!” 

        Just for the record, Pinkie’s definition of, ‘enough for all eight of us!’, fits the standard definition of, ‘Enough dessert for the entire city of Ponyville, after every pony in it had gone through a particularly nasty breakup.’

        “Well I don’t see how he could have slept with all the noise,” Trixie said with a scathing glare at the now somewhat calmer, Rainbow Dash. A glare that Rainbow Dash responded to with, a very mature, sticking out of the tongue. 

        Before the situation could escalate up to the fourth grade level of insults, Twilight got back the mares attention, saying, “That still doesn’t tell us where he is…” she took on a worried look as she glanced around the station.

        “Maybe he didn’t get off the train?” Rarity suggested.

        “No, we would have seen him on our way out.” Twilight’s face was a mixture of worry and concentration as she ran through the possibilities, “None of the doors were closed and there’s nowhere he could have be-” Suddenly she got interrupted by the yell of a train attendant.

        “Sir?” the attendant called up the side of the car they were just using. “Sir! Sir, I’m sorry but you need to get off of there!”

        As all the mares turned to look at what was happening, they saw a figure atop their car suddenly sit up.

        Card smacked his lips as he blinked the sleepiness away from his eyes. “That was such a nice nap,” he said as he looked around. “Oh, are we there?” He got up, dusted off the back of his jacket, and pulled a small trampoline out of it. He made his way over to the side of the boxcar and dropped the trampoline onto the ground below. He jumped off, bounced off the trampoline, and then noticed that he was being yelled at.

        “Are you nuts?” Twilight yelled, looking like she was about to slap him, “Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to be on top of a moving train?” 

        “Calm down, Twinkly,” Card said as he shoved his trampoline back into his jacket, “You’re overreacting.”

        “I’m with Twilight here,” Trixie said. “That was really stupid. If you fell, then, even if you survived somehow, you’d be lost.” she pointed out.

        “Yes, but the important thing is that I didn’t fall,” Card half spoke/half mumbled, as he ran his hoof through his hair and across his face. “Now come on, we’re making the chauffeur wait.” He attempted to head towards the pony carrying the sign with ‘Twilight Sparkle and Friends’ on it, along with the rest of the mares, but a hoof on his shoulder made him stop.

        “The chauffeur can wait a little longer,” Twilight said firmly, as she craned her head back so she could look him straight in the eyes. “We need to talk about this. That was dangerous, and reckless, and possible illegal- And just what is so funny!” Twilight said, a little bit hurt at Card laughing at her concern for him. 

        “It-it’s nothing,” Card said as he stopped giggling, but he still had a little bit of a smirk on his face. “Look, it really makes you two worry that much?” he asked.

        Twilight and Trixie both nodded.

        “Yeah,” Trixie said.

        “Well then I’ll stop. Now come on, I think the rest are getting impatient.” Indeed, the five sleepy mares waiting at the stretch limo were looking a bit cross. Well, except for Fluttershy of course, that mare couldn’t look cross if she were crucified. And Pinkie, she was still scarfing down the massive cupcakes she had bought. But the other three were growing livid. 

        So, Card, Trixie, and Twilight all joined them at the limoscene, and in a couple of minutes they were heading off to their hotel rooms, generously provided to them by the crown.




-----One Limo Ride Through the City Later-----




        “Here we are ma’ams,” the limo driver said as he pulled to a stop. “The Crown Solar Hotel.”

        The ponies all shuffled out of their ride, Rarity pausing to take her case out of the trunk and to toss the driver a nice tip. By now, it was around 11 o’clock p.m., and fatigue kept the mares from making very much idle conversation. That is, until they actually got their rooms.

        “So, we have four rooms, all next to each other,” Twilight said as she returned from checking the party in. “I guess the question is, who wants to be where?”

        “I don’t care.” was the general consensus from the party.

        Card pulled out eight sticks, each with one end colored red, blue, green, or yellow. He held them out in front of himself with the colored ends hidden and said, “Choose. You share a room with whoever gets the same color. No argument, or this will take forever.” 

        The group agreed to these rules and so they drew their lots. It ended up that the pairings were as follows: Rainbow Dash would share a room with Trixie, Fluttershy and Applejack would share a room, Pinkie Pie and Twilight were together, and Rarity got stuck with Card. The group went up to their floor and, after the exchange of many mutual wishes of pleasant dreams, split off into their respective rooms to get ready for bed. Let’s check in on them, shall we?




-----Rainbow Dash & Trixie-----




        “I’ll take that one!” Rainbow Dash said as she dashed over to the bed nearest the balcony, shoved the window open and collapsed onto the mattress.

        Trixie rolled her eyes and, seeing as her options were limited to the other bed or the floor, started to get herself ready to sleep as she sat upon the other bed. She was in the middle of hair to be in front of her face, something she did because she sleeps on her back and doesn’t like it when her hair is flattened, when she noticed that Rainbow Dash was looking at her very intently.

        While moving her hair away from in front of one of her eyes so that she could see more clearly, she smirked. “See something you like?” she said flirtatiously. 

        Rainbow Dash just sighed. “Why does everypony think I’m gay?” she muttered.

        Seriously? Trixie thought as she looked at RAINBOW Dash’s RAINBOW mane and RAINBOW tail.

        Rainbow Dash shook herself out of her defeated confusion, and asked something that had been bothering her for a while. “Why are you friends with him?”

        “Oh? What do you mean?” Trixie asked. “Is there a reason you’re friends with Applejack and Rarity?

        “That’s not my point.” Rainbow Dash looked around for a second, like she was trying to find the right words to use. Eventually she said, “Look, you’ve known him for, what, like two, three months?”

        “Yeah…?” Trixie was curious as to where she was going with this.

        “And Twilight’s only known him for like, five. About the same amount of time she’s known me.”

        “What’s your point?”

        “If it was me who spent the whole train ride on the roof, Twilight wouldn’t have acted like that. At worst, she would have rolled her eyes at me and told me to stop fooling around.”

        Trixie was starting to get a little impatient, “Do you have a point somewhere in there?”

        Rainbow Dash sighed and locked eyes with Trixie. “What has he done for you to make you two care about him so much?”

        Whatever Trixie was expecting it wasn’t that, and she was quite taken aback. Her lack of any response forced her to resort to defensive measures. 

        “Why do you want to know?” she asked.

        “He’s lazy, and distracted, and stuck up, and arrogant, and secretive, and rude, and feel free to stop me from insulting your friend any time now.”

        “You haven’t said anything I disagree with yet,” Trixie admitted.

        “Okay, so how are you such close friends? What makes you so loyal?” Rainbow Dash asked.

        Trixie was troubled. Why was she so close to Card? Sure, he hadn’t given her any reason to dislike him, he had given her a job after all, -well, less gave, more forced it onto her,- and made sure she was settled in. But still, in such a short amount of time, Card had become a very important pony to her, and for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out why. Apparently her face made her worries clear, as Rainbow Dash quickly spoke up.

        “Look, just forget about it. I’m sorry for bringing it up, I didn’t mean to bother you.” she stood up and flicked off the lights. “Good night,” she said as she went back to her bed.

        “Night.” Trixie rolled over and folded herself into her blankets, but unlike Rainbow Dash, who fell asleep the moment her head hit her pillow, it was a good while before the blue unicorn’s troubled mind surrendered to the sandstallion.

Well, that was…

Boring

Shut up Aoc, just take us to the next room.

*sigh*




-----Fluttershy & Applejack-----




        “Which bed do yah want?” Applejack asked.

        “Oh, uh, I’ll be fine with either, you can pick first,” Fluttershy said in her characteristic whisper.

        “Well then Ah guess Ah’ll take that one,” Applejack pointed to the bed nearest the balcony, “Vacation or no, it just wouldn’ feel right waking up without the sun in mah eyes.

        “But we’re on the east side of the hotel…” Fluttershy pointed out, though her voice was too low for Applejack to notice.

        “Welp, Ah’m tuckered like a bull at a rodeo, G’night.”

        “Good night…” And with that, the two mares tucked themselves in and fell asleep.

        After spending most of your time taking care of sick animals, you start to get a sort of awareness when something is wrong with one of them. Fluttershy, compassionate vet that she was, was no stranger to suddenly getting a feeling that there was something that needed her attention in, say, the middle of lunch, or even when she was asleep in her little villa. But, on her vacation the sensation was so unexpected that, when it woke her up only a half-hour after she had fallen asleep, it took her a few seconds to recognize it.
        
        She got up out of bed, wondering what it could be, and saw a stetson-wearing silhouette on the balcony of her hotel room. She walked up to it and confirmed that it was Applejack.

        Applejack didn’t notice her concerned friend walking up to her. Her gaze looked out onto the city, but her unfocused eyes showed her attention was far, far away.

        “E… Excuse me?” Fluttershy said.

        The unexpected sound snapped Applejack out of her reverie. “Oh, hey there sugarcube. You couldn’t sleep either huh?” she said.

        Fluttershy mumbled something in response.

        “What was that?”

        “Is something wrong?” Fluttershy asked in a slightly louder voice.

        “Huh? Nah, Ah’m fine.”

        Fluttershy may be quiet, but she’s a smart little pony, and certainly a very observant one. Even if she wasn’t though, she could tell what was bothering Applejack. After all, she was there with the rest of them what they all tried to convince Applejack to come along, despite her claims of being needed on the farm. It was her who brought up the idea, very quietly of course, of bringing in Granny Smith, to assure Applejack that the farm would be fine for a few days while she went to have dinner with the Princess. 

        “It’ll be okay…,” Fluttershy said, awkwardly patting Applejack on the back in an attempt to reassure her. “They’ll be fine…”

        “Ah know,” Applejack sighed, “It… It just don’ feel right, yah know? The idea of boppin’ around the big city while there’s work ta be done.”

        Fluttershy had no idea how to respond to that, so she choose not to. After a few minutes of just standing around outside, looking at the city and the skyline, Applejack let out a huge sigh.

        “Yah know what,” Applejack said, “Yer right, Ah’m here now, there’s nuthin Ah can do. Might as well enjoy it.” Applejack walked off the balcony and back into her bed, with Fluttershy following suit.

You know, Fluttershy says the smartest things when she doesn’t speak. Anyway, who’s next on the list?




-----Twilight & Pinkie Pie-----




        “Whee!” Pinkie yelled as she burst into the room. She leapt onto one of the beds. “Oh Wow This Bed Is Huge!” she said as she rolled around on the blankets, pushing them around and making them kick up into the air, “It's So Nice!!! I Wish Could Get One This Big Back Home, But My Room Is So Small, I Wouldn’t Have Enough Room! Even If I Did, I Definitely Wouldn’t Be Able To Get It Through The Door!” By this point, the blankets were flipped completely upside down, and were sideways in their covers. Suddenly, Pinkie stopped moving and let the blankets fall down onto her, as she said, “Wait, Silly Pinkie, You Have A Lot Of Things To Do Tomorrow Right? Right! Time For Bed! Nighty-Night!” and with breaking speed that would impress even the most paranoid of soccer moms, Pinkie dropped from sixty to zero and fell asleep.

        Twilight took the opportunity to finally step into the room. Well, that could have gone worse, I guess, she thought. She took the book that she was reading on the train out of her saddlebag, planning to finish it off before she fell asleep. She shrugged off her saddlebags, clambered onto the bed that was not being occupied by a sugar disposal unit in the shape of a pony, cracked open her book and got reading. There were only about fifty pages left, so she polished off the book within ten minutes.

        Once that was done, she went over the list of places and things that they absolutely, positively, had to visit during the two days they were spending in Canterlot. After a short scan to make sure she had left nothing out, she put the itinerary onto the bedside table, used her magic to flick the lights off, and went to sleep.

        Don’t you look at me like that, what were you expecting to happen? Did you think Pinkie was going to spend all night bouncing on the beds, with Twilight desperately trying to fall asleep? Oh, please.




-----Card & Rarity-----




        When Rarity had found out who she was stuck sharing a room with, she was very upset. This was the stallion who had been so uncouth as to ignore her pleas for sympathy when she was stuck in the freezing rain, getting dirty, wet, and miserable, in favor of attempting to torture a TABLE! Rarity was not a horribly conceited mare, in her opinion, at least not in regards to her personal looks. Even so, being submitted to such indignities as those, and then ignored by the very one who forced her into that situation, well, that cuts open a wound that does not heal easily.

        She had tried to get even with him many times. She had forced him into a particularly ugly dress, only to find that he did not mind it. She had attempted to “accidentally” spill a small amount of ink onto his precious jacket, naturally she meant to help him get rid of it later, only to find that she could never get it to hit. She had even gone so far as to convince Spike to sprinkle a small amount of poison joke onto him when he was in the library, but he never showed any effects. 

        It wasn’t until she really thought about what it meant that they were going to be sharing a room together, that she got an idea. She would attack him in the most painful place you could attack a stallion.

        Let’s see much how he likes being ignored! she thought with a sinister smile. She walked into their room, and put her plan into motion.

        “Excuse me, darling,” Rarity said, turning around so that she could look him in the eye. “It’s been such a long day, would you mind if I used the shower?” Step one: Give him an idea of control.

        “Meh.” Card grunted, before seeing what was in the room. “Sweet! Ceiling TV!” He grabbed the remote from one of the bedside tables, and turned it on. As he lay down on the bed, Rarity grabbed a few important items from her luggage and headed off to the shower that was attached to their room.

        Normally, she would have taken some time to admire the decoration and size of the room: It was almost the size of the room they were sleeping in, which was itself big enough to house two king-sized beds, four nightstands, a massive chair, and a wardrobe. Right now, though, she was a mare on a mission. After a quick shower, only ten to fifteen minutes, during which she made sure to get all of her makeup off, she carefully dried her coat and tail, making sure her hair stayed straight and wet. She then carefully put on just enough makeup that it would look like she wasn’t wearing any, and wrapped a towel around her body just tightly enough that it showed off her curves, but loosely enough that it left a good deal to the imagination. After wrapping another towel very loosely around her head, collecting her mane inside of it, she stepped out of the bathroom.

        “I’m done,” Rarity said as she walked towards Card, swaying her hips from side to side. Card didn’t seem to notice her, so she used her magic to tap him on the shoulder. This caused Card to turn to face her. Now that she was sure of his attention, she spoke again. “It’s all your’s,” she said through half-lidded eyes, in a tone bordering on seductive, “If you want it, that is.” Step two: Entice. 

        “Nah,” Card said, turning his attention to the movie he had just started.

        “Oh?” Rarity said. She then pointed at the ceiling, “So, anything good?” Step three: Seem interested.

        “Oh yeah,” Card said. “It’s called The Thing. It’s one of the best horror movies of all time.”

        “Horror?” Rarity raised an eyebrow, “I quite enjoy horror movies. Would you mind if I watch with you?”

        “Go right ahead.”

        “Thank you.” Rarity lay down on the bed right next to Card, close enough that they could accidentally bump into each other, but not close enough that it would be uncomfortable. Being that Card was lying down on his back, his forehooves crossed behind his head, Rarity chose to tilt her head a little, just enough that her head touched Card’s forehoove. Step four: Establish physical contact.

        About five minutes or so into the movie, Rarity sat up. Taking care that her head was still in Card’s field of view, but not enough that she would seem to be attempting to distract him, she slowly unraveled the towel from her head, slowly making her deep purple hair cascade around her head as she shook it around. Step five: Tease.

        Rarity actually rather disliked horror movies, she found them to be quite silly, with an over-reliance on shock. Still, she found a use for them. They gave her an excuse to bury her head in her date’s chest, and so give off an air of vulnerability that stallions seemed to love. What she didn’t expect was finding one that actually was scary. So scary, in fact, that after a certain point, she completely forgot her plan and dove underneath the blankets, not coming out until the end credits rolled.

        But roll they did, and so Card turned the TV off. Rarity was thoroughly embarrassed, her plan was in shambles, and Card had once again ignored her in a time of very obvious vulnerability. By this time, Rarity had started to lose confidence in her ability to seduce stallions. She decided to go all in.

        “Oh, darling,” she said as she rolled on top of him, her voice quavering and her eyes wide open and fearful. “That was so terrifying. I- I can’t imagine how I’ll be able to sleep, surely I’ll have nightmares.” Instantly her voice shifted into a seductive lit as she placed her forehooves directly onto his chest, “Won’t you help me wipe away those scary memories?” her hooves started to travel south and she closed her eyes and bent towards his lips.

        Right before she made contact, Card’s mouth split open in a massive yawn. Rarity recoiled, not expecting the sudden turn of events.

        As she sat on Card, Card smacked his lips a few times and looked around. “Would you mind getting off of me?” he asked, in a tone that was either tired, bored, or both. Without waiting for an answer, Card pushed Rarity off of him. Not hard mind you, not enough to do her any harm, just enough to get her off of him. He rolled over onto his stomach and fell straight asleep, his jacket warming him up more than the blankets he was lying on could.

        Rarity was livid. She had all but presented herself to him, thrown herself at him, and he had the gall to be bored!? It would have been bad enough if he had gotten angry, or nervous, or just flat-out rejected her, at least that would have shown that she was having some kind of effect on him, but to ignore her! Rarity hastily collected herself with as much dignity as she could manage, and stormed into her bed. Still, to be fair, Card did make sure she didn’t have any nightmares. She was too busy dreaming about various ways of punishing him.

> One Day in Canterlot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        *Burrrp*

        “Really now, darling?” Rarity said in disgust.

        “What, can’t handle a little gas Rarity?” Rainbow Dash said.

        Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Trixie all walk into a bar were all relaxing in Twilight and Pinkie’s room, finishing up the breakfast they had ordered from room service.

        “So, what’s the plan for today?” Trixie asked.

        “Glad you asked!” Twilight said as she pulled out her plan, “You see, I’ve made a-”

       “Oh, the Grand Canterlot Central Mall is unveiling the winter lines! We should make a stop there,” Rarity said.

        “Uhh, okay, I guess we could,” Twilight scribbled in a little note on her planner, “But then we-”

        “There’s a rodeo show, at the Pavillion,” Applejack said. “Ah’ve been meaning to check it out, but Ah’ve gotten the opportunity.”

        “A rodeo?” Rarity said.

        “Hey, yer dragging me along to that prissy mall, least yah could do is watch a show with me.”

        Rarity sighed, “Fair enough.” Besides, there were bound to be a few trim stallions in tight pants running around, and Rarity never turned down eye candy.

        “Well fine,” Twilight said, making another mark on her list, “But then I’ll need to-”

        “That reminds me!” Rainbow Dash suddenly stood up. “The Wonderbolts are doing a special teaser for their winter solstice show! When’s the rodeo?”

        “Right ‘round 2 p.m., ends round 5.”

        “Perfect, the show is right after that! And I can pick up tickets for the real show while we’re there!” 

        “Huh.” Twilight was starting to get a little annoyed. “So, we can do that, and I guess-”

        “OOH!” Pinkie said. “There’s this really big all-you can eat buffet, it’s like three floors of food, and it’s all supposed to be really, really good! We neeeeed to go there for lunch!!!”

        “Uhh…” Fluttershy whispered, “There’s also supposed to be an exotic animal petting zoo inside the mall Rarity’s talking about. Can we please go there… Only if it’s okay with all of you, I wouldn’t want to impose.” She hid her face behind her mane.

        “Of course we can go!” Rainbow Dash said.

        Twilight took her paper and started ripping it, tearing it into smaller and smaller pieces until she finally just threw it all up in the air in exasperation.

        Trixie noticed this. “Hey, are you okay?”

        Twilight sighed. “It’s nothing. Come on, let’s go wake up Card.” 

        She walked out of her room and into Card’s right next door. She opened the door and- Huh. I didn’t know horses could squee.

        Her friends all rushed over, thinking she was hurt. They all asked her what was wrong and she just pointed a hoof at Card. Well, not Card, rather his head. And not really his head, as much as the blueish-gray, pointy eared, sharp clawed puffball that was currently sleeping on top of it.

        Immediately, the mares rushed over to Card’s bed.

        “Hey there little guy,” Trixie said.

        “You are just adorable!” Rarity said.

        “Hi there, it’s nice to see you again,” Fluttershy whispered out. “I guess you probably don’t remember me.”

        This was the scene that Card slowly woke up to, a heptet of mare gathered around his bed all cooing in his direction. “You know, I have nightmares that start exactly like this.” he mumbled out as he tried to rub the sleepiness out of his face.

        “What is that adorable thing?!” Rarity demanded to know.

        “What are you…” Card tried to run his hoof through his hair, but suddenly found his progress blocked, “Oh.” He picked up the fuzzball on his head and set him down onto the bed. He then stretched himself out, trying to wake himself up while he answered, “This is Ike, my- my- Uhh… My Ike.” he said with finality, “Somewhere in the last few months he decided my head made a good nest, I guess.” he yawned and began to straighten his jacket as Ike began to stir and awaken.

        “Hey Ike.” Card said, “How you doing.”

        Ike let out a adorable little yawn, followed by a cute grunt. This lead to all the mares around the bed going “Ahhhhhh…”, which lead to Rainbow Dash immediately praying that nopony heard her make such an embarrassing sound.

        Card either didn’t notice them or didn’t care, as he kept on talking with Ike. “So, now that you’re here, you wanna hang around?”

        “Mmm… Eh-eh.” Ike shook his head.

        “Okay, take care.” Card and Ike shook paw-to-hoof and then Ike jumped up into the air and vanished in a flash of light. 

        While the mares all stood around confused for a moment, Card got out of bed and pushed his way past them. “I need to take a shower,” he mumbled out as he walked into the bathroom.

        After a few seconds, the mares got out of their cute-induced stupor, and realized what just happened.

        “Come on, let’s go,” Rarity said as she started to leave.

        “What?” Applejack said.

        “Well darling, he’s taking a shower,” Rarity explained. “Who knows how long he’s-”

        “OK!” Card slammed open the door as he walked out of the bathroom. “Sorry I took so long, what did you all come here for?”

        “You were sayin'?” Applejack looked at Rarity, who was flushed with mild embarrassment.

        “Shut up.”

        “Good morning!” Twilight said to Card, who repeated the phrase, “Now come on, we need to go to the mall.”

        “Okay, I’ve got a few things I need to pick up there.” Card said, “Did you call up the chauffeur?”

        “Eep!” Twilight jumped into the air and dashed back into her room, picking up the telephone and calling the limo company.

        A few second later she ran back, saying, “They’ll be here in five minutes, let’s head down.”

        The group all made their way down to the lobby.




-----Five Minutes Later-----




        “Yeah, well Ah would like to see one o’ them Wonderbolts hold onto a raging bull by the horns fer longer ‘en a second.” 

        Before Rainbow Dash could make her rebuttal, her and Applejack’s conversation was interrupted by Twilight.

        “There it is!” she said as she pointed out the window towards the limo that had just pulled up, “Quickly now, let’s- Oh no, where’s Card.”

        “Hi,” Card said as he walked from the front desk to the seven sitting multi-colored mares.

        Twilight grabbed him and began rushing out towards the limo, her bemused friends following. Eventually they all got in.

        “Where to?” the driver asked.

        “Grand Canterlot Central Mall.”




-----Later, at the Cornucopia Buffet Hall-----




        The collective were all sitting at their table, enjoying the afterglow of a massive, delicious, lunch. Each pony had no less than three plates in front of them, and at least half a dozen cups.

        After a few minutes of nothing but silence, aside from a few contented groans, Twilight said, “Okay, I think we’re done here.”

        “Yeah. I don’t think I could eat another bite,” Rainbow Dash said, and the other mares all seemed to agree, as they starting getting up from their seats and leaving. All except for one.

        “What’s wrong, Pinkie?” Fluttershy whispered, seeing the pink mare remain sitting down, her forehooves crossed over her stomach.

        “I don’t feel so good…,” Pinkie said.

        “Huh, no wonder,” Trixie said.




-----Flashback-----




        “Can you believe it!” Pinkie said as she came back to the group, naturally having bolted off the second they were given a table. “Half of the entire top floor is a HUGE ice cream station!” 

        “Uh, are y’all sure yah wanna eat so much?” Applejack said, gesturing to the mountain of food Pinkie had piled onto the plate on her back. A mountain that not only cleared the top of her hair, but kept going for a good six inches. “Yer gonna regret it.” 

        By the time Applejack had finished her sentence, Pinkie Pie was already half-way through her plate. The mares all gave a collective sigh and shake of their heads, then went off to start getting their own food.




-----Flashback End-----




        “So, are you regretting it?” Rainbow Dash asked.

        Pinkie Pie shook her head, “NoooOO.” she doubled over and clutched her stomach harder.

        “Are you going to be okay?” Rarity asked.

        Pinkie nodded her head, “This happens sometimes. I just need to go lay down for a few hours.”

        “You can come with me,” Card said, the first words he had spoken in the last half-hour. When they got to the buffet, he had quickly split off, gotten several plates worth of food, and came back to the table, where he had quietly sat reading one of the books he had bought at the mall, the only one that he hadn’t chucked inside of his jacket. The book he was still, in fact, reading.

        “What?” Trixie asked.

        “I’m heading back to the hotel room.”

        “Why?” 

        “I’ve got nothing else to do here for a while.” Card dog-eared his book and stood up, gesturing to Pinkie Pie. “Wanna come?”

        Pinkie gave a weak nod and got up to follow him. Card and the mares all left the restaurant. He flagged down a taxi while the mares waited for their limo to come pick them up. Just before he got into it, he stopped.

        “Wait, when are you all going to be back at the hotel?” he asked.

        “Uhh…” Twilight thought for a moment before shaking her head, “I don’t know.”

        “Around 5:45,” Rainbow Dash answered. “The teaser ends at 5:30. Why?”

        “Perfect,” Card said with a grin. 

        “Card,” Trixie said, “What do you have planned?”

        “Now that would be telling.” Card got into the taxi and told him where to go while Pinkie slumped against his shoulder. The taxi sped off just as the limo came to take the mares to the Pavillion.




-----We Were Going To Talk About The Shows, But Nothing Interesting Happened There So Instead, It’s Back To The Hotel With Card and Pinkie-----




        Pinkie limped her way to her room, Card following close behind.

        “Oh no,” Pinkie said. “Twilight has the room key.” She turned to Card, “Can I please stay in your room? Just for a while? Pretty please with frosting and nuts and cherries?”

        “I’m going to be reading my book, so no talking.” Card opened up the door and went over to his bed. Pinkie made a motion of locking up her lips and followed, laying down on Rarity’s bed.

        After a few minutes of silence, Pinkie started to moan and roll around.

        “What’s wrong?” Card asked.

        “It really hurts,” Pinkie said. “My tummy feels like a cream puff that’s already full but somepony is trying to put more in.”

        “How do you normally deal with it?”

        “Usually I lay behind the counter at SugarCube Corner. Hearing all those ponies talk helps distract me.”

        Card was silent for a second, then he said, “I think I’ll finish this book later.” he placed it down on the bedside table, grabbing the remote that was on it. “You want to watch a movie with me?”

        “That sounds like fun. What movie?”

        “I don’t know yet.”

        “Okie-dokie-lokie.” Pinkie slid off of the bed and clambered onto Card’s, a small, almost inaudible, moan accompanying every step she took. She settled in, leaning against his chest as he turned on the television and chose a movie at random.




-----A Few Hours Later-----




        “No, I am your fath-”*pause* 

        “AWWW!” Pinkie said, looking up at Card. “Why did you pause it, we nearly got to the part where his face goes all funny!”

        Card gently moved the pink mare off of his chest so he could get out of bed. “They’re back.”

        Pinkie quickly leapt up and out of the bed, nearly landing on Card, and raced into the hall to greet her friends.

        “HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI!!!” she rattled off, grabbing all six of the mares in a big hug.

        The mares all responded with their own, far less hyper, greetings and detached themselves from the hug. Card then entered the hallway as well.

        “Hi Card,” Twilight said.

        “How was caring for the living vacuum?” Trixie asked.

        Card ignored both of them, instead addressing the group as a whole, “In five minutes, I’m going to the Sinful Virtue. Who wants to come?”

        “WHAAT!!!” yelled Rarity and Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash actually taking off in surprise. 

        All the other mares were taken aback by their friends reactions.

        “What’s the big deal?” Applejack asked.

        “How have you never heard of it?!” Rarity said. “The Sinful Virtue is the top club in all of Canterlot! Everypony who’s anypony goes there!”

        “It has a separate room for every genre of music, each with it’s own bar, and that’s not all! It has game rooms, fight rooms, who knows what else!” Rainbow Dash said. “It’s the coolest place in all of Equestria!”

        “So are you two coming?” Card asked.

        “Oh darling, don’t be foolish,” Rarity said. “By now the line must go around the block. There’s no chance you’ll be able to get in.”

        “I am so in!” Rainbow Dash said.

        “Okay, anyone else?” Card asked.

        “Ah think Ah’ll sit this one out,” Applejack said. “Ah never cared much for the nightlife.”

        “I’d rather stay here,” Fluttershy whispered. “Sorry.”

        “I want-” Pinkie shouted before collapsing to the ground, moaning. “Actually, maybe I should stay here. Hey, this way I can finish the movie!” Pinkie went back into Card and Rarity’s room.

        “Are you sure you can get us in?” Trixie asked.

        “Yeah,” Card said.

        “Then I’m in.”

        Card nodded, before turning his attention to the one mare who had yet to speak. “What about you Twilight?”

        “I would love to, but I was planning to go visit somepony,” Twilight said. “Sorry, it’s just that I haven’t seen them in so long, and-”

        “Don’t worry,” Card said. “Okay, if you’re coming, then let’s go!” he started towards the elevator.

        Applejack and Fluttershy went back to their room. Rarity hesitated for a moment, seeing the confidence in her friends eyes. Suddenly she cried, “Wait for me!” and rushed to the elevator before the doors could close. Twilight rolled her eyes, and went into her room to grab a few things before she went to visit her brother.




-----At Sinful Virtue-----




        Card, Rarity, Trixie, and Rainbow Dash exited the limo. The line in front of the club was so long, that it had wrapped all the way around the massive block the club took up, making the back of the line just past the first pony in line.

        The mare’s looked nervous, but Card just walked up to one of the bouncers, a hulking dark yellow stallion in a three piece suit. The bouncer’s eyes narrowed, his face contorted into a grimace, and he looked like he was about to shout, then Card took a small card out of his pocket and showed it to the bouncer. Immediately, his expression changed to one of respect. He bowed to Card and was about to wave him through, when Card walked back to where the mares were standing, their jaws dropped in awe, and told them, “Come on, let’s go in.” 

        They walked in through the double doors and found themselves in a semicircle of a room. A small door opened up, and a middle-aged unicorn walked out. 

        “You are Card, correct?” he asked Card.

        “Yes. These are my friends.” Card gestured to the mares.

        “Ah, excellent. If you three could please hold out your left front hooves?” 

        The mares did so. The unicorn levitated three black bracelets out of his saddlebag, clipping them onto their forelegs.

        “Those bracelets identify you as friends of the house, allowing you complete freedom in where you may go, along with making sure that the staff knows that you are not to be charged,” he explained, levitating 3 small folded paper rectangles out of his bag. “Here are your maps, there is also a large version in each room. Please, enjoy yourselves.” he bowed and exited the way he came in.

        Rainbow Dash quickly scanned her map, picking a place to go. She flew into one of the other rooms, tossing back a “See ya!” as an afterthought. Rarity was a bit more subdued, carefully looking over her options before choosing where she wanted to go.

        “Card, you’ve been here before,” Trixie said, her face buried in the map. “Where do you recommend? Card?” Trixie looked around, but the stallion was no where to be found. “Huh.” Trixie turned her attention back to her map, thinking, Oh hey, MC Escher is playing in Electronica. Sweet. Trixie folded her map up and headed off towards the electronica room, one last thought passing through her mind before she entered. I wonder where Card went?




-----Where Card Is-----




        *clap clap*

        “Come in.”

        “Hey Shade,” Card said as he entered the office.

        “Card,” Shade said as he got up from behind his desk to shake Card’s hoof. “How’s it going?”

        “It goes.” 

        Suddenly, the tiny beige dragon that was perched on Shade’s chair flew over to the pair and circled around them before flying in Card’s face. When he didn’t react, it looked at Card with disdain. Shade smirked a little.

        “Nice to see you too, Morrogar,” Card said to the dragon. “How’re Silver and Guile?”

        “Guile’s doing good; his grades could be a bit better and Silver’s really riding him about it,” Shade said as Morrogar landed on his back and glared at Card. “Speaking of, Silver’s getting a bit worried.”

        Card raised an eyebrow.

        “It seems like some of the provinces have problems with the treaty, and Silver’s going to have to go between them a lot pretty soon. He doesn’t want to drag Guile along with him, because he’ll be moving around really often. He’s been worrying about what to do with him.” Shade paused for a moment, then rolled his eyes. “Anyways, what brings you here?”

        “I was in the city, decided to come get your report in person.”

        “Still hate going through paperwork huh?” Shade walked over to his minibar. “Drink?”

        “You know what I like,” Card said.

        Shade let out a sigh as he poured out a glass of gin and a glass of peach brandy. “I would think that you of all people would be a bit more interesting with your drinks,” he said as he hoofed the brandy over to Card.

        Card took a sip from it and looked at Shade expectantly over the glass.

        “Well, it’s all been fairly quiet,” Shade said, starting his report. “No one’s really been making much of a fuss. There were still the one or two idiots who tried going to the crown, or thought they could blow off paying their debts, but nothing out of the ordinary. Sticks is dead.” Shade took a moment to down his drink and look coy, “It seems that somepony somehow managed to get past his bodyguards and stuck a dagger straight through his eye when he was going to visit his mistress. Blade and Glowbug split his territory.”

        “His right eye, I bet,” Card said. “Look, cut to the chase.”

        “Fine, fine. Did you hear about the incident over in Kohto?”

        Card blinked.

        “Right. Well, somehow it got out that the soldiers who did it were on a mix of sake and keshwa seed. So, some bleeding hearts took action and convinced the Emperor to start cracking down on keshwa farms. The whole thing’ll probably blow over in a year or so, but until then nobody’ll be growing keshwa anywhere in Oka.”

        “So, what do you plan on doing about it?” Card asked.

        “I think I’ll suggest that some of our big suppliers start exporting over to Oka, maybe a couple from Griffonia too. I’ll have to make sure that they don’t get too greedy. Probably set up links between them and the old dealers, keep the competition going.” 

        “You think you can pull that off?” Card asked.

        Shade just gave him a look that said, “Look who you’re talking too.”

        Card extended his hoof. “Bye Shade.”

        Morrogar hissed at Card. Shade glared, then shook it off. “Bye,” he said as he shook Card’s hoof. He opened up the door for him, calling at him as he left, “You stay away from the tables.”

        “Don’t worry,” Card said over his shoulder. “I have no intention of bankrupting you tonight.”

        Shade chuckled, closing his door and returning to his desk to get back to business. 




-----In The Electronica Room-----




        Trixie sat at the bar, sipping at a whiz-bang, casting her eyes along the room when suddenly she was disturbed by somepony taking a seat next to her.

        “I’m surprised you’re not out there,” Card said. “I thought you’d jump at the chance for some flirting. One silver bullet, please,” he asked the bartender.

        Trixie sighed. “I’m out of practice. I can’t even tell which of them are worth going after anymore.” She swiveled around to face the bar.

        Card’s silver bullet arrived in it’s silver shotglass. He lifted the shotglass up and looked at it for a couple of minutes. 

        “Way I see it, you have three options,” Card said, facing Trixie.

        “What do you mean?”

        “Well, there’s the green earth pony over by the wall, the one with tangerine hair. She’s a little fidgety, and was glancing over and quickly looking away quite a bit when you were just sitting here alone. Then, when I came and sat next to you, she seemed a little disappointed. Still peeking over here though.” Trixie was experienced enough in these matters to not look, and took Card’s word for it, as he kept talking, 

        “Also, there’s the magenta unicorn who’s drinking a bit down the bar behind you, she’s looked your way a few times, but always focusing on that,” Card gestured to the black bracelet Trixie was given, “Meaning she knows what it means, and might just be interested because of it. Don’t know if you’d wanna go for that type.

        “Finally, there’s the teal pegasus, over at the second table from the dancefloor. She’s been talking with her friends and checking out every mare in the room, but she lingered on you a little while. She’s pretty obviously here to have fun, she drank enough for a buzz and then stopped so she wants to remember her night, and seems to be trying to figure out what bit of fun to take home for the night.” 

        “How did you figure all that out?” Trixie asked.

        “It’s not that hard if you know what to look for,” Card replied. “I think you should go with the teal.”

        Trixie thought for a second, then shook her head. “Nah, I’d try to take one of them back to the hotel, and I’m not the only one using my room, remember?”

        “Oh, that reminds me.” Card reached into his front pocket and pulled out a room passcard for the Crown Solar Hotel. He hoofed it to Trixie. “Room 114.”

        “...What?” Trixie couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

        “Take it. Enjoy.”

        “Card, I- I can’t accept this. Those rooms cost thousands of bits per night.”

        “I know, and if you don’t accept it, I will have just wasted 6000 bits.” Card could see that Trixie was still shocked. “Look, if it makes you feel any better just think of it as an early new year’s bonus.” Card got up to leave. He placed the card down on the bar in front of Trixie and said, “I’ve got business elsewhere. See you tomorrow. Good luck.”

        When Trixie picked up the card and put it inside her saddlebag, Card left the room. At the same time as he left the club, Trixie got up and asked the green earth pony if she wanted to dance.




-----What has Twilight been doing? Let’s check where she went-----




        Okay Twilight. You can do this. So what if you haven’t seen them since they first moved in together, they can’t be that bitter. It’s Shining and Cadence, nopony cares more about you than them, Twilight thought. These thoughts had been running through her head ever since she had first decided to come visit her brother and babysitter, and had only gotten louder the closer that she got to their house. She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Oh no! What do I say to them! Stupid, stupid, why didn't I think of this before! Calm down it’s-

        The door opened in front of her, revealing a moderately tall, toned, white unicorn stallion with two-tone blue hair. Silence went between them, as Twilight did her best impression of a deer in headlights. 

        “Twily!” Shining Armor said as he embraced his little sister, “It’s so nice to see you again!” After the shock wore off, Twilight returned the hug. 

        “Hi Shining.”

        When the two split up, Shining Armor waved her into his house, “Come in, come in. Cadence! Come here, you won’t believe who just turned up!”

        “I’m coming, I’m coming.” A pink ailcorn entered the living room, a look of absolute shock covering her face as she saw who the mystery guest was. “Twilight!” 

        The two mares ran across the room to each other, doing a silly little dance while Shining Armor tried hard not to laugh. Once their dance was concluded, they hugged, Cadence’s wings wrapped tight around the filly she watched grow up.

        “How have you been? Oh, your timing could not have been more perfect, I just put some tea on! Come on, we can talk in the kitchen.” Cadence led her coltfriend and Twilight into the kitchen. Once they were all settled, Twilight started speaking.

        “I’m really sorry I couldn’t come visit you two sooner.”

        “Oh don’t worry about it Twily,” Shining Armor said. “I’m sure that studying with the Princess was taking up a lot of your time.”

        “Yes, we understand,” Cadence said as she placed a teacup in front of all assembled. “The important thing is that you’re here now. So tell us, how’s it been? I’m sure that you’ve collected some stories in the last three years.”

        “Well, I could tell you a few.” Twilight launched into recounting some of the funnier events that happened while she lived in the castle and studied under Celestia.




-----Many Stories of Spike Getting Hurt Later-----
-----(Seriously, is he sure he wants to chase after someone whose job requires constant proximity to tiny pointy things?)-----




        The three ponies were all laughing, Shining having on several occasions nearly launched tea out of his nose. Twilight straightened up.

        “Oh, but I still haven’t told you about the most important thing!” she said. “This year, right around the end of summer, Princess Celestia sent me off to a little town called-”

        *Ding-Dong*

        “Now who could that be?” Cadence asked.

        “Whoever it is, they’ll have to come back later,” Shining Armor said as he got up to go answer the door.

        “No, I’ll take this one,” Cadence said, nudging her coltfriend back into his seat. She walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, where the front door was located.

        Twilight was grateful for the interruption, as it gave her a bit of time to collect her thoughts and start planning out exactly how she was going to talk about everything that happened to her in Ponyville, when suddenly all her thoughts were knocked out of her head by something entirely unexpected.

        From the front door of the house, came a yelp, surprised, overjoyed, higher-pitched than normal, but unmistakably from Cadence. A yelp of 

        “Wild!”

> Meet the Siblings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Today was just a huge mess. Between trying to control my company in the royal guard while they fought over who had to work what shift on New Year’s, and Princess Celestia deciding that it was a good day for a random inspection, on top of my regular shifts actually guarding her and Luna, I spent most of the day exhausted. 

        Still, at least I have the joy of knowing that I have Cadence waiting for me back at our house. Three years and I still get a little thrill every time I think of it, our house. So I came home and took a load off. I showered, talked to Cadence for a little bit, then I went to go watch some T.V. Cadence was going to join me after she set the kettle boiling, but then the doorbell rang.

        I went to go check who it was, and there she was. Twily. I hadn’t seen her in so long, not since our housewarming party, that I almost couldn’t believe it was her. I hugged her, brought her in, she and Cadence did their silly little greeting dance, and then we all went into the kitchen to catch up. She told us about some funny things that happened during her lessons, Cadence and I told her some of our stories, we were on our third or four cups of tea, it was all going great. Then our doorbell rang again.

        Cadence went to go answer it. A few seconds later, I heard her shriek. I rushed to the door, ready to attack, Twily right behind me. But as we got closer, I could hear some other pony talking.

        “...o tight, let me go. Let me go!”

        When I reached the entryway, I saw Cadence hugging somepony I had never seen before. She was hugging him so tightly, that he was actively struggling against it, his forehooves flailing about. He was the one who I heard speaking. I asked Cadence who he was.

        “This is my cousin, Wild,” she said. “I asking him why I haven’t seen him in the last seven months.”

        “Look, I’m sorry, I’ve been busy,” he said, still pushing against her, “Now would you please let me go?!”

        Cadence released him from her hug, and he collapsed on the floor to glare at her as he gasped for breath.

        “Here, peace offering.” He reached into the plastic bag he was carrying around his neck and pulled out a cylinder. I recognized it as a can of candied rose petals, they’re Cadence’s favorite snack and so I always make sure to pick one up whenever I get groceries.

        “Thank you!” Cadence said as she tried to hug him again. He yelped and dodged backwards, holding the can out in front of him like a shield. Cadence frowned, but levitated the can out of his hoof and put it on a table somewhere. Suddenly she seemed to realize that Twily and I were there. She blushed, which always make my stomach do funny things, and started to introduce us.

        “This is my cousin, Wild,” she said to us. “Wild, this is my coltfriend, Shining Armor.”

        The stallion, Wild, looked at me with a shocked and confused expression, his mouth gaping as he looked between me and Cadence. “Wha- Bu-” He gestured at me and looked at Cadence and made a little weird confused noise. Then he shrugged and went, “Okay.”

        Despite how rude this was, I still tried to be polite. After all, I had gotten much, MUCH, worse from Cadence’s dad when I first met him, and I’m sure that if some colt ever tried to date Twily I’d be rude to him too.

        I shook Wild’s hoof. “It’s nice to meet you,” I said. “Cadence has told me a lot about you.” She really had, one of Cadence’s favorite things to talk about is her family.

        “Funny,” Wild said, “She’s never mentioned you.”

        “What!” Cadence said. “That’s not true, I’ve told you about him loads of times!”

        “Really? You sure?”

        “Yes!”

        “Huh.”

        Cadence groaned. She gestured to Twily, making me take notice of her for the first time since I got up from the table. She was standing there with a really weird look on her face, somewhere between confusion and anger.

        Cadence tried to introduce the two of them, “Wild this is-”

        Wild grinned and he walked over to Twily, interrupting Cadence when he said, “Twinkly!” He ruffled Twily’s hair, “What are you doing here?”

        “Do you two already know each other?” Cadence asked, sounding as confused as I felt.

        “No, you see I’ve gotten into the habit of rubbing the heads of total strangers,” Wild said with a deadpan expression on his face. “What do you think, Enza?” he scoffed.

        “Well with your track record, I wouldn’t be surprised.” 

        “You’re not one to-”

        “Card?” Twily said, interrupting them. “You’re Cadence’s cousin?”

        I briefly wondered who Card was, but then Wild spoke.

        “Yeah,” he said with a groan. “Please don’t hold it against me.”

        “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean!” Cousin or not, I wasn’t about to let some stranger with a tacky name come into my house and start insulting my mare! I started walking over to him to grab him and possibly throw him out, but then the tea kettle whistled.

        “I think we should all go to the kitchen, it’s far nicer there,” Cadence said. “And I think my tea’s getting cold.”

        We all walked into the kitchen and sat around the table.

        “Wild, do you want any tea?” Cadence asked.

        “Earl Grey,” Wild said.

        Cadence poured him out a cup. The second it was placed in front of Wild, he took our sugar holder and started pouring the whole thing in.

        “Enza, do you mind?” he asked with a gesture at his cup.

        Cadence used her magic to open up our freezer and pulled out a few ice cubes. She levitated them over and dropped them into his cup.

        “Thanks,” he said, focusing so hard on his tea as he stirred it that looking back, I’m almost positive it held the secrets of the universe. Of course, at the time it was a different story.

        I asked him what he was doing here, and he ignored me. I asked what brought him into town, and he ignored me. I was beginning to get a little pissed off, I’m not used to ponies just flat out ignoring me like that. Apparently it showed because Twily, she was sitting right next to him, started to look a little worried.

        “Card,” she hissed out, “Don’t be rude!”

        Wild continued to ignore the world around him. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done to him, if it hadn’t been for Cadence speaking up.

        “Let’s play a game.” Just like that, Wild’s attention was off the tea, and fully focused on Cadence.

        “What game?” he asked.

        Cadence levitated sixteen shot glasses out of our cupboard, along with a bottle of gin. As she filled up the glasses, she explained the game. 

        “We all have a lot to ask each other, and this seems like a nice way to do it. We all take turns asking everyone at the table a question. If you don’t want to answer, you take a shot. Once all your shots are gone, you’re out of the game.” She placed four glasses in front of each of us.

        I asked her if she was sure about this. You see, Cadence really cannot hold her liquor. Like, at all. Two drinks and she’s under the table. Yes, in addition to finding a mare who was kind, caring, enjoyed sex, and genuinely liked my family and most of my friends, I also found one who was a very cheap date. Karma must be kicking the ass of someone in my family. Actually… Spike’s a pet, I wonder if he counts.

        Anyways, Cadence said she was sure.

        “Uhh…” Twily said. “I don’t know…”

        “Don’t worry,” I said, “If you don’t want to play you don’t have to.” I don’t think Twily noticed me, her attention was fixed entirely on Wild.

        “Look,” he said with a sigh, “I’m taking you back to the hotel, nothing will happen to you. You’ll be fine.”

        Now, I may be three years out of practice as a big brother, but there was nothing in that sentence that didn’t send massive red flags up, from what he said to the way Twily looked at him while he said it.

        “Ugh, does it have to be gin?” he asked Cadence.

        “Well how else am I supposed to give you any reason not to drink it,” Cadence replied.

        By this point, I was convinced that he was a massive alcoholic out to take my sweet little sister to a hotel and date-rape her. I was so busy glaring at him that I didn’t notice Cadence starting the game. 

        She decided to ask me a question first, “Dear, do you remember that we’re supposed to go to the castle for dinner tomorrow night?”

        Oh crap.

        “Of course I do,” I said. I couldn’t even get all the way through making a mental note to pick up my suit from the cleaners tomorrow before Wild spoke up.

        “You know, it’s not nice to lie to your marefriend.”

        “You forgot?” Cadence said to me with huge puppy-dog eyes.

        “What? No, no, I didn’t forget.” That orange motherfucker wasn’t even looking at me, how the hell could he tell I was lying?!

        Cadence sighed sadly. Hoo boy, I’m going to need a few boxes of rose petals to make up that. Fortunately for me, Cadence shifted her attention to Twily.

        “Twilight, what is your exact relationship with Wild? Is he your coltfriend?” she asked.

        “What?!” Twily said, “No, no, he isn’t! He’s more like my-” Her eyes flicked to me a couple of times, “My- *Gulp*” She snatched a shot off the table and downed it. 

        After she finished coughing from shotgunning straight gin, she looked flustered, which is a good thing; I always enjoying seeing my sister tongue-tied. Cadence looked like she had just found out something worth remembering, and Wild… You know, for all of the time he spent staring into that thing, I don’t remember him ever actually taking so much as a sip.

        So, know it was his turn to be asked a question. Cadence seemed to have a little trouble thinking of one, so eventually she just asked him, “Do you have a marefriend of your own?”

        Wild tore his eyes away from his cup. “Excuse me?” he asked. Perfectly normal reaction right? Nothing to get excited over, especially since he very possibly didn’t hear her. Well Cadence didn’t seem to agree with my stance on that, as her jaw just about smashed into the table.

        “You mean there really is one?!” she asked him.

        “What?” Twily asked, just as confused as me, “What makes you think he has a marefriend. He just asked you what you said.”

        “No, if he really didn’t know what I had said, he would have just grunted,” Cadence said. “He only ever says excuse me when he needs time to think about what he’s going to say!” I hadn’t seen Cadence this excited since I got us front-row tickets for some pop group she was a fan of. Between this and the way Twily seemed to regard him, she had chosen the seat right next to his even though she had been sitting at a completely different place before he came, I was starting to wonder if I should feel jealous.

        “No,” Wild said. “I don’t have a marefriend.”

        Cadence looked briefly upset, but Wild wasn’t done speaking.

        “But, there is a mare I’m interested in.”

        “Really!!!” Cadence said, “What’s her name, what’s she like, tell me, tell me!”

        “Oh no, I answered your question, let the next pony go.”

        “Awwww.” Cadence looked crestfallen, but I know her, and I could tell that she wasn’t going to drop it any time soon. 

        I was the one next to Cadence, and so I got to ask the questions now. I decided to start with Cadence.

        I asked her why she had never introduced me to Wild before. After all, with how she talks about him, I had to wonder why we had never met before.

        She said, “Well, I had always wanted you to meet him on your own.”

        “What?” I asked.

        “Meeting Wild for the first time is always an experience, but it has to be one-on-one,” she said. “I still remember when I first met him.” Cadence had that look in her eye, she was gearing up for a story. Before she could start, she was interrupted by Wild groaning.

        “Please don’t,” he said, covering his face with his hooves. “Nopony wants to hear that.”

        “I’m sure Twilight does, don’t you Twilight?”

        Twily looked a bit flustered from suddenly having the attention be on her, or maybe it was from the gin she just shotgunned, but she did say yes.

        “And you sweetheart?” Cadence looked at me with her enormous puppy dog eyes, which she very well knows that I can’t say no to. Even if she hadn’t used them on me, I was curious what could bring such a reaction from her and Wild.

        In the face of our unanimous decision, Wild groaned again.

        Cadence began her story.

        “One day, my parents took me to the castle to visit Celestia. Apparently she had an announcement to make to the whole royal family. We got there a good hour early, and were told to wait in our room. 

        “Back then, I was a bit… impatient. I couldn’t stand just waiting for something to happen, and so I snuck past my parents and left the room. I was aimlessly walking through the halls when I came across a little orange colt, all on his own. I thought he was lost, and so I decided to try and help him.

        “I introduced myself, and I was about to ask him where was trying to go, when he asked me, ‘What makes love worth it?’

        “By this point, I had already started to get a little bit of a reputation as a love guide, and so ponies had often asked me questions like, ‘What is love?’, ‘How can you be sure love is true?’, ‘Is love real?’, but I had never before been asked a question like this. Oh, but he didn’t stop there. 

        He asked me, ‘Heartbreak is supposedly one of the worst pains somepony can go through, and for most ponies, they will go through it countless times before they met the pony who is perfect for them. Not to mention, that love is so easily abused, you can fall in love with someone who take advantage of that fact, who uses you like a sponge. Even if you do somehow manage to find the perfect mate, somepony who loves you as much as possible, and who you love in return, there is still the fact that one day they will die, leaving you alone and in some of the greatest pain you will ever feel. So, what about love makes it worth going through all that hardship?’”

        I looked at Wild, with his head still buried in his forehooves. Twily looked at him too, and he looked up at her.

        Cadence seized on the opportunity to rub his cheek. 

        “You were just the cutest little nihilist!” she said.

        Wild glared at her out of the corner of his eye. “I hate you,” he said, then to Twily he said, “It was a phase. I try not to think about it.”

        Twily looked disturbed, but seemed to accept it. “So what happened after that?” She asked.

        “Well,” Cadence said, “I was shocked. I hadn’t heard anything like it before then, and I had certainly never heard it from a twelve year old.”

        “I was ten,” Wild interrupted from within his forehooves.

        “But you looked twelve. Anyway, by the time I snapped out of it, he was gone.”

        That weird story out of the way, I decided to ask Twily the next question. Twily looked like she was trying to figure out how she felt about what she had just learned.

        I wanted to try and help her get her mind off of it, so I asked her what she had been doing for the last few months, the months she was going to tell us about before Wild came. I knew all about her defeating NightMare Moon, every guard in Equestria knew that, but I wanted to hear about how she had been. So, I asked her what was her favorite moment since she had done it.

        I thought it would take a few minutes for her to think it over, but she knew right away. Apparently, she has this unicorn friend named Trixie. A couple months back, Twily had asked her if she wanted to study magic with her, and she had said yes.

        It was so weird, seeing her eyes light up when she started talking about this mare. I hadn’t seen Twily that happy in a while. She clearly thought highly of the mare, and happy as I was that she had made such a good friend, it did kinda bother me. For so much of her life, I was Twily’s best friend, and having that title taken from me… I’m not gonna lie, it stung a little. 

        Still, eventually Twily’s story ended, and it was time for me to ask Wild something. I got his attention and, for the first time in the whole night, he looked me in the eyes. I instantly regretted it.

        A few months ago, near the start of the spring, there was this stallion I brought in. He had been spotted cleaning a knife covered in blood by his neighbor. We went over to his place, and we found out that he had stabbed his wife and kids. I took him to the station and, without me leaning on him even a little, he confessed. Not only had he killed his wife and his kids, he had woken them up to do it.

        He didn’t have a plan, he hadn’t even moved the bodies from where they had fallen. I asked him why he did it, and he said that he just wanted to know what it would feel like, to hear his kids and wife pleading with him not to do it. He was curious. He got sent packing to an asylum of course, but the whole time I was interrogating him, he never seemed crazy. Until I looked in his eyes. 

        There was no joy in them, or anger, or fear, or madness. Not even a bit of sadness at what he had done. His eyes weren’t empty either, at least not completely. It’s hard to describe, it wasn’t nothing, but it wasn’t exactly something either. It was like… like looking at a blank piece of paper that you knew could be filled up with anything depending on what the person holding it felt like doing, and you knew the person wasn’t going to bother thinking about why he was doing it, just that he wanted to.

        It was that same thing that I saw when Wild looked straight at me. It shook me, rattled me so bad that I forgot what I was going to ask him. I just blurted out, “What’s your job?”

        “I’m a psychiatrist,” he said, and I cannot describe my relief when he went back to looking at the teacup after he answered me.

        As for the rest of the night, not much happened. Twily eventually got a bit tipsy, and so Wild said it was time for them to leave. I was going to offer to go along so I could make sure nothing bad happened to Twily, but given how Cadence seemed to regard Wild I wasn’t sure she would appreciate me acting suspicious of him. So, I was very surprised when, as they were getting ready to leave, Cadence insisted that we go along with them.

        “Wha’?” Twily said, “Don’ be shilly. Card can take care of me! He isn’t afraid of anything!”

        “I don’t care how fearless you think he is, I’m not letting you walk with Wild at night.” Cadence said, “I don’t want Wild walking alone at night with Wild!”

        “Oh come on, you can’t still be worried about that?” Wild said. “Do you see a moon?” Because tomorrow is the solstice, the longest night of the year, Luna decided to bring about a new moon a bit early, in order to save up her strength for keeping the moon in the sky for a full 16 hours.

        “Besides,” Wild said. “I’m not a seventeen year old anymore.”

        “Yes, and I hesitate to imagine the damage you could do now!” Cadence said. I have no idea what she was talking about, and when I asked her about it later she asked that I don’t press the issue.

        Anyways, Wild was still trying to convince her that it would be fine, “Look, if it’ll make you feel any better, I’ll summon up an escort.”

        “No Wild, we’re not taking that risk! That is final!” Cadence said. “Or else I’ll tell Twilight the story about the hippo and the coconut!”

        Wild’s eyes widened. “Ok, you win.”

        “Hmmph!” Cadence turned to me and asked if I wouldn’t mind coming with them. Of course I didn’t, and so we all left.

        I was keeping Twily steady while she insisted that she didn’t need help, and Cadence was watching Wild like a hawk. Every so often she would say “No.” and he would sigh. He kept on slowing down and trying to wander off so often, that I thought Cadence might just give up. But she kept at it, even grabbing and dragging him at some points.

        Eventually we got to the hotel and dropped them off. As we walked back to our home, I noticed Cadence looking at me and giggling. 

        “What, do I have something on my face?” I asked.

        Cadence just sighed and said, “It was nice seeing Twilight again.”

        “Yeah. Yeah it was. She’s really grown.” I thought back to hearing her talk about her friend, and her stories. My little sister was a full grown mare now.

        “Indeed,” Cadence said. Something told me that she wasn’t just talking about Twily. 

        I wonder what tomorrow’s dinner is going to be like?

> Interlude 2: The Morning After
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Twilight woke up feeling like her head was being bashed around by a pair of sledgehammers.

        Oww, she thought. What's happening... Who did I make angry?

        *Knock Knock Knock*

        Oh great, now I can hear them too. Twilight pushed her head underneath her pillow and tried to ignore the pounding in her head. It wasn't until the knocks started getting louder that she realized she wasn't imagining things, somepony was knocking at her door.

        I should probably go answer that. She tried to climb out of bed, but made the massive mistake of opening her eyes, exposing them to the sunlight streaming in from the window. Upon feeling her eyes being fried like eggs, she decided to screw getting out of bed and just tried using her magic to open up the door. It took her addled mind a few tries to get the door handle to work properly, but she did eventually get it open.

        "Good morning, Twilight!" Trixie proclaimed as she walked into the room, her face beaming with joy.

        "Aagh!!!" Twilight said, pressing the pillow down even harder onto her head. "Not so loud."

        Trixie took note of the pain in her friends voice, and while it didn't wipe the smile from her face, it did make her stow away what she was going to talk about for a few minutes.

        "What's up?" she asked.

        "It feels like my head is being used as a drum with hammers as the sticks, and the light makes my eyes feel like needles are being shoved through them." Twilight said.

        Trixie gave a thoughtful, "Hmm." She asked, "Did you drink any alcohol last night?"

        "A little bit. Why?"

        "Well, it sounds like you have a hangover."

        "A what?"

        Trixie gave a double take. "Seriously?"

        "Not so loud..." Twilight groaned out. "Seriously what?"

        "No, nothing. I just keep forgetting how sheltered you are. A hangover is what you get when you drink too much."

        "Ohh... So then why does anypony drink?"

        "I think everyone asks themselves that question when they wake up hungover. The best thing for it is to just drink some water and try to sleep it off."

        "I'll do that." Twilight started trying to go back to sleep, but then she realized something. "What did you come in here to tell me?"

        "It's really nothing that important. Anyways, I wanted to tell Card it as well, but I can't find him."

        "Oh. He's over there." Twilight made a tiny magic arrow and pointed it at the sleeping lump on the other bed in the room.

        Trixie was confused. "Why is he in your room?"

        "Because when we got back, Pinkie was asleep in his bed and he didn't feel like waking her up, so he just slept in her bed. If you talk to him, could you please keep it quiet?"

        "Of course. Thank you," Trixie said. She walked over to the second bed and found that, sure enough, it was being occupied by the exact orange stallion she was looking for. Before she could try to wake him up, his eyes opened on their own.

        "Have a nice night?" he asked.

        Trixie just grinned in response.

        "Good for you," he said with a small smile on his face.

        "Really, thank you so much. For the room, and helping pick out which ones were worth going after. You didn't have to do that," Trixie said.

        "I don't do anything because I have to. I only do things because I want to. Besides, you deserved a chance to have a little fun."

        "Still, there had to be a less expensive way to do it, you could'v-"

        "Did you enjoy yourself?" Card asked.

        "Yes."

        "Then it was worth it."

        "Thank you." Trixie was truly touched. "If there's anything I can do for you, I'm there."

        "That won't be- Actually, there is one thing."

        "Name it."

        "When we go to the dinner, when you meet my family, the lords and ladies of Equestria..."

        "Yes?"

        "Don't think of yourself as being beneath them."

        "Okay." Trixie was confused. “I think I should go now."

        "See you tonight." And with that, Card rolled over and went back to sleep.

        Trixie exited out into the hallway. It's almost noon, I should probably figure out what I'm going to do for the rest of today.

        She went to her hotel room, and heard a voice inside.

        "Come on, you've got to come," Rainbow Dash said. "It's the Wonderbolts winter solstice light show!"

        "Ahm sorry Rainbow Dash, but Ah've got plans," Applejack said.

        "Ugh, what about you Flutters?"

        "I have plans too... I mean, I could cancel them... It wouldn't be a big deal..." Fluttershy said.

        "No, I couldn't ask you to do that." Rainbow Dash hung her head and sighed. "It'll just suck to let this ticket go to waste."

        "Can I come?" Trixie asked. Not like I have anything else to do.

        Rainbow Dash rushed to the door. "Yes!"

        "Great." Trixie suddenly remembered something. "Wait, weren't you complaining about the show being sold out? How did you get tickets?"

        "Oh, it was awesome!" Rainbow Dash said.




-----Flashback Time—---




        So, I was at the rock room section of the club last night, trying to enjoy some food, have a few drinks, you know, that sorta thing. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Soarin comes up and sits next to me! Naturally I played it cool.

        "OMC! You're the Wonderbolts' second in command! I'm a huge fan, massive!"

        He chuckled and thanked me for my support. "Always nice to meet a fan. So, are you coming the show tomorrow?"

        "Oh, I wish I could, but you were all sold out before I could get there!"

        He thought for a second, then reached into his wings and pulled out these!

        Rainbow Dash brandished a pair of V.I.P. Box seat tickets.

        He just gave them to me! I couldn't believe it! I asked him why he did that, I thought for sure I was hallucinating! Nope! He gestured at that black clip on bracelet the butler dude put on each of us, and said, "Don't sweat it, any friend of Shade's is a friend of mine."




-----Flashback End-----




        "It was sooooo AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash pressed both her forehooves against her cheeks and got stars in her eyes. She was all but swooning at the memory.

        "Sounds nice," Trixie said. "When is it?"

        "It starts in three hours and goes until seven! That gives me enough time to quickly go to the gym! We'll even be back in time to make it to the dinner!"

        Trixie ran it all through her head, "Okay. I'll meet you in the lobby at 1:30."

        "Great! See you then!" and with that, Rainbow Dash dashed out of the room.

        Trixie went to her bed, and turned on the TV, planning to kill some time until it was time to go.

> Whining and Dining
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “Twilight!” Pinkie yelled as she rushed into Twilight’s hotel room. She stopped in front of the unicorn and started bouncing from hoof to hoof.

        “Pinkie, what’s the matter?” Twilight asked. 

        “IReallyNeedToUseYourBathroom!”

        “Uh, yeah. Go ahead.” 

        Pinkie dashed into the lavatory.

        A couple of minutes later, she came out. “Phew, thank you so much!” she said.

        “Anytime. Uh, Pinkie, what was wrong with your- Uh, Card and Rarity’s bathroom?” Twilight asked. 

        “Rarity won’t get out and she’s been in there for two hours!” 

        “Really? Is she sick?”

        “No! She just said that she needed to make absolutely certain everything was perfect before the dinner!”

        Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well, at least she won’t be in there for much longer. We need to leave in twenty minutes.”

        “YAY! I can’t wait!” Pinkie started bouncing around the room. She stopped when she noticed a lump on one of the beds.

        “Is he still asleep? That’s amazing, the moon woke up before he did! Wait, why are the sheets all wet?”

        “That was me,” Twilight admitted. “I was trying to wake him up, and threw some water on him. It didn’t work.”

        Pinkie settled down next to the bed and stared directly at Card’s closed eyes, with a massive smile on her face.

        “...Pinkie, what are you doing?” Twilight asked.

        “I want to thank him for what he did last night the moment he wakes up!”

        Twilight shook her head, rolled her eyes, and decided to leave Pinkie to her own devices. She went off to go check if everypony was ready to go to the dinner.

        She popped into Applejack and Fluttershy’s room.

        “Are you two ready yet?”

        “Ah’m waiting on y’all,” Applejack said.

        “I’m ready, I think…,” Fluttershy said.

        “Okay good, go down to the lobby.” Twilight decided to check on Rarity.

        Rarity had gotten out of the bathroom and was fiddling with the violet dress she had decided to wear.

        “Oh, Twilight!” she said upon seeing her in the doorway. “Perfect timing! What do you think; should I have the sash over the right side or the left?”

        “Uhh…”

        “Yes, the right side, of course! Thank you darling.” Rarity used her magic to levitate a  thin, dark blue sash onto herself.

        “...So, are you ready?”

        “I am now.”

        “Good, head down to the lobby. That just leaves Rainbow Dash and Trixie.” 

        “Are they still not back yet?”

        “No, and we have to leave soon.” Twilight glanced at the clock on the hotel room’s wall, 8:20. 

        She went back to her bedroom, to try waking up Card again. She found that Pinkie Pie was apparently serious in her desire to thank Card the moment he woke up, as she was still sitting motionless on the floor, her eyes fixed directly on his eyelids. 

        Twilight decided that they did not have time for Card to wake up on his own. She attempted to levitate Card out of his bed, hoping that the feeling of quickly rising into air would startle him out of his dreams. But when her levitation spell, a spell she had been doing since her age was still in single digits, reached Card’s body, it fell apart. This was nothing new to Twilight in and of itself, after all, spells that she had yet to master or that were particularly strenuous to cast broke down often. But this was different, this wasn’t some brand new spell and it certainly didn’t require very much of her magical power. Even the way it fell apart was strange, usually a failed spell worked initially and she just couldn’t keep it up, and she was left feeling tired and dizzy. Not this time though, this time there was no initial success or aftereffects. The spell hit Card and the magic just vanished.

        Twilight was so bewildered by this, that she didn’t notice that Card was stirring from his sleep.

        His eyes opened up, and instantly he heard a loud,

        “Thank you!!!” from roughly the same direction, perhaps a little bit lower, as the pink pair of eyes that were six inches from his face.

        Card smacked his lips a few times.

        “Are you the raspberry fairy?” he asked.

        “Tee-hee~! No, silly! I’m Pinkie!” said the mare.

        “Damn.”

        Pinkie was taken aback by Card’s blunt dismissal. “Did I do something wrong?”

        Card sighed. “No, no it’s nothing.”

        “Oh good I thought for a second that my thank you had made you angry which seems to happen a lot for some reason but I don’t know why and anyways thank you!” Pinkie said, not once pausing for breath.

        “Mmm,” went Card, his eyes still half-lidded. He got up out of bed and walked over to Twilight, who was still standing deep in thought.

        “You okay?” he asked as he straightened his jacket.

        “Huh?” Twilight asked. “Oh no, I’m fine.” Twilight got a look at the clock. “We have to leave in five minutes! Where are Rainbow Dash and Trixie?!” she yelled.

        “We’re right here,” Trixie said, popping her head into the room. “We got back a couple minutes ago.”

        “Where were you two, I thought you were supposed to be done at 7!”

        “We were, then we got invited to the afterparty. I only barely pulled Rainbow Dash away in time for us to make it back here.”

        “Well where is she?!”

        “In our room, putting away this poster she got signed. You should’ve seen the way she was guarding it on the walk back, like she thought the street posts were going to try and steal her precious roll of paper.” 

        Twilight bolted out of the room, just barely avoiding Trixie’s head, probably to go yell at Rainbow Dash and drag her down to wait in the lobby.

        Card suddenly noticed Trixie standing there. 

        “Hey Card, how’re you?” she asked.

        “Good. Little hungry, little drowsy, but good.”

        “!” Pinkie rushed out of the room, saying, “I can fix that!” 

        She came back into the room two seconds later, holding a massive chocolate cupcake.

        “Here! Cupcakes always give me energy!” She brandished it in front of Card.

        Card apparently thought he couldn’t spare the second it would take to remove the cupcake from Pinkie’s hoof, because he just stuck it into his mouth, and ate the cupcake off of her.

        Pinkie took it surprisingly well. “Hehehe~, that tickles.”

        When he was done eating, Card’s eyes flew all the way open. He stood up on his hind legs and streeeeeeched his back and forelegs out.

        “Ah, that felt good, thank you very much Pie! Come on, let’s head down to lobby before Twilight panics herself into a hernia.” The two mares and him went down the lobby, making it just in time to keep Twilight from ripping out her hair. The lavender mare pushed all of her friends into the limousine and they were off to the castle!




-----At the Castle-----




        “Oh wow!” was the general consensus of the ponies as they got their first close-up look of the castle. 

        Twilight gave them a few minutes to stare at it. She could still remember the first time she had gotten this close to the castle, the long minutes of just staring in awe. Not just at the sight either, but what it had meant to her. When she had first seen the castle, in all of its glory, was the first time she really, truly, understood what it had meant that Celestia had chosen her as her apprentice.

        Twilight wondered what her friends were feeling as they looked at the castle. Still, eventually it was time to go in.

        “Come on,” she said, snapping her friends out of their reverie, “let’s go in.” She shepherded her friends into the entry hall.

        “This place is really confusing, and it’s really easy to get lost,” Twilight said as she lead her friends through the hall’s of the castle, “so make sure you don’t wander off.”

        “Too late!” Pinkie cheerful said.

        Twilight stopped dead in her tracks. “What do you mean, ‘Too late’?” she asked as she whirled around to face her friends

        “Card left a looo,” Pinkie stood up on her hind legs and made a wide arc in the air, “ooong time ago.”

        “What!” Twilight started to panic.

        “Calm down, Twilight,” Trixie said, “you saw how he was acting in the car. He probably just went off to go pee.”

        “But what if he’s late, or gets lost, and then the whole dinner is ruined, and the Princess will be mad and she-”

        “Doesn’t this castle have guards?” Rainbow Dash pointed out. “I’m sure he can just ask them for directions.”

        “Yeah. You’re right. It’ll all be fine,” Twilight said, trying to reel her mind back in. After a few calming breaths, she turned back around and continued leading her friends to the dinner room.

        When they went through the dining room’s ornately decorated, obscenely massive, double doors, the herd of mares saw that a few ponies were already in the room.

        There were naturally a few guards positioned around the perimeter of the room, but there was also a small group of four standing next to the table and talking to each other. Two pegasi, a white unicorn, and a pink alicorn.

        When the doors slammed closed, the group’s attention was drawn to the new arrivals.

        “Twilight!” said the pink alicorn as she walked over to the mares. “Hello.”

        “Hi Cadence.” Twilight gave her ex-babysitter a big hug. 

        When they finished their hug, Cadence asked, “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”

        “Oh! This is Trixie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said, pointing at each mare in turn. While Cadence shook each mare’s hoof, Twilight said, “This is Cadence, my old babysitter.”

        “It’s very nice to meet you all,” Cadence said. Her eyes lingered for a brief moment on Pinkie Pie.

        “What, no hug for me, sis?” Shining Armor asked.

        “Ah! Sorry.” Twilight hugged her brother, then prepared to introduce all of her friends again, “Shining this is-”

        “I heard the first time,” Shining Armor said. “I’m Twily’s big brother. Thanks for watching her for me. Name’s Shining Armor.”

        “Why, do my eyes deceive me, or are those the Elements of Harmony?!” said one of the pegasi, a dark yellow stallion, with a thick spanish accent. He and the other pegasus, a magenta mare, came over to speak with them.

        “Oh, it appears to be my turn for introductions,” Cadence said. “This is-”

        “I am Bolero di Amoré, and this is my wife,” Bolero said in a booming voice as he gestured to the other pegasus, “Sonata. Of course I know who you all are! It is a pleasure to meet the saviors of our Kingdom.” He gave a deep bow to each of the elements in turn.

        “Excuse me, I do not wish to appear rude, but is there something wrong with your ear?” he asked Pinkie.

        The focus of attention suddenly became Pinkie’s left ear, which had been flapping open and shut since she had entered the castle. Pinkie reached a hoof up to feel it.

        “Huh, that’s new!” she said, completely unperturbed by her ear’s autonomous action. “I wonder what that means?”

        Suddenly the doors burst open again.

        “Hello to all of you,” Celestia said as she walked through the doors. “Thank you for coming.”

        Every pony in the room knelt down at her presence.

        “Please rise, there’s no need for that,” Celestia said.

        After the ponies rose, Cadence asked, “Where is Princess Luna?”

        “She’ll be along shortly, I just wanted to make certain that everything was ready before we began,” Celesia said. “Speaking of which, we seem to be missing a few ponies.”

        “Are you really surprised?” Cadence grumbled, “When is he ever on time?”

        Shining Armor tossed a surprised look at his marefriend.

        “It’s not only him I speak of,” Celestia said, “Twi-”

        Suddenly, Pinkie screamed out, “Cover your eyes!”

        Those who were either too startled or too slow to react in time were blinded by a sudden piercing white light. When it faded, a large, white, unicorn stallion was standing in the middle of the dining room.

        “Still have all the subtlety of a peacock, I see,” Cadence said, glaring at the unicorn.

        “Yes, it’s very nice to see you again as well cousin. My day was fine, thanks for asking.”  the blonde, white, unicorn replied, his voice dripping in sarcasm.

        “You’re late,” Cadence said, her voice the closest to spiteful it had ever come.

        “Oh, I’m so very sorry, my dear cousin. You see, some of us are unfortunate enough to have actual duties and responsibilities attached to our titles, and I am afraid that mine kept me busy for quite some time.”

        He turned to Twilight and her group of friends, saying, “I am so very sorry, where are my manners? I am Prince Blueblood, Marquess of the province of Eligval.”

        “Hhhhh,” Rarity sighed as she fell back and fainted.

        Blueblood let out a small, muted groan and rolled his eyes, before his expression went back its usual boredom. He turned his attention back to his cousin.

        “Anyways, I am here now. Oh, who is this?” Blueblood’s attention shifted onto Shining Armor. “Your lover, I presume?”

        “Yes, actually. I am,” Shining replied tersely. Something about this stallion just rubbed him the wrong way.

        “Do you have a problem, cousin?” Cadence asked.

        “No, no problem,” Blueblood replied. “I was just wondering why you had bothered to come at all. Aren’t there some pre-schoolers somewhere whose love lives need meddling, or a teenager who needs your brand of passive-aggressive ‘help’?”

        Before the sibling rivalry could escalate, Celestia interrupted, continuing her thought from before Blueblood’s arrival.

        “Twilight, I had assumed that Card was coming with you?”

        “Oh, uh, he did…” Twilight explained, “But then we got to castle and I kind of… lost him.”

        The assembled royals all reacted to this with some level of visible shock, but the worst by far was a certain pink alicorn.

        “WHAT?!” Cadence yelled, grabbing Twilight by the shoulders. “YOU LOST HIM! WILD IS WALKING AROUND SOMEWHERE, ALONE, WITH A FULL MOON UP!”

        “Wha- What’s wrong? What did I do?” Twilight was terrified.

        “Put her down!” Trixie said.

        Cadence seemed to realize what she was doing, and put her down.

        “Sorry about that,” she said. “It’s just that… last time Wild was completely alone with a full moon out, he… Well…”

        “What did he do?!” Rainbow Dash asked, intrigued by what could have possibly happened to make an alicorn this worried, along with most of the rest of the royal family. Even Princess Celestia seemed a little perturbed.

        “Well... He may have… Kinda…”

        “Oh for the love of,” Blueblood said, rolling his eyes, “He demolished downtown Las Pegasus.”

        “What!?” said everypony who didn’t already know.

        “Yeah,” Cadence said with a sigh. “Remember that tornado that tore through that city a few years ago? That was him. You see why I don’t want him walking around alone at night, that doesn’t need to happen again!”

        “Oh calm down cousin,” Blueblood said. “You give him far too little credit. It’s been four years. I’m sure that by now he would be able to wreck half of the city, at the very least.”

        “You are not helping!” Cadence said, backed up by the nods of everypony else.

        “I’m not trying to, it’s far too much fun to watch you- How does Wild say it? ‘Flip out.’”

        The rest of ponies looked to Celestia for guidance, and saw that she had taken a seat at the table and was watching the exchange. They followed her example, watching the proceedings like a tennis match.

        “Agh!! Who knows what he could be doing!?”

        “You know cousin, ponies are capable of making good decisions without you constantly there to hold their hooves.”

        “Oh, don’t you have a farmer somewhere to be evicting!”




-----As Much Fun As It Is To Watch This Little Bout Of Sibling Rivalry, Let’s Go Check Up On What Card Was Actually Doing-----




        Even with all the lights, the ponies still flee from the night. Why? I wish I could tell them. What is Tia thinking? Even if they are family, how many of them could possibly wish see me? At their ages, they hast doubtlessly grown up fearing me. And I cannot blame them. Luna was snapped out her pity party when she heard footsteps coming up the path. Quickly she donned her usual disguise. Well it’s not really a disguise, she just makes herself invisible.

        Who could still be wandering the gardens at this hour? she thought. She turned and saw a brown blob coming towards the statue she was standing in front of. Even with the full moon, it was difficult for her to make out any details until the figure drew nearer. When it had made its way up the path, it went straight for the statue, stopping directly in front of her. She was now able to make out that the figure was merely wearing a brown jacket, and was in fact, orange. It sat down on the ground in front of her, and looked up at the statue.

        “Would you mind?” the figure said, in a distinctly male voice. “You’re kinda blocking my view.”

        Luna was shocked. “THOUST CAN SEE US?” she asked in her traditional Canterlot voice.

        “Just for the record, I can hear you too,” the figure said as it massaged its ears.

        “OH! Ah, oh. My humblest apologies,” Luna said as her face flushed purple in embarrassment. Celestia kept telling her that she needed to break her habit of slipping in the traditional voice when she was startled. “How canst thou see us?”

        “You’re standing right in front of me. It’s not that dark. Speaking of seeing, you’re still blocking my view, so if you wouldn’t mind?” he said.

        Luna sheepishly took a couple of steps to the side. How couldst he see us? Have our skills lapsed so far in our exile? she thought.

        “Ugly thing, isn’t it?” the stranger said, referring to the statue.

        “He ist not ugly!” Luna said. “He ist most charming, and quite regal of bearing!”

        “Maybe, but his eyebrows are the size of small dogs,” he shot back.

        Luna was getting annoyed, “Well if thou finds his visage so unappealing, then why art thou even here?”

        “I can’t really explain it,” the stranger said, “It’s just… I don’t know, it calms me down to be near him. You wouldn’t understand.”

        Luna understood what he meant. She also went to this particular statue when she felt worried, but she doubted that the stranger shared her reason for finding it soothing. It then occurred to her how very odd the whole affair was.

        “Why do you not fear me?” she asked the stranger. Couldst it be that he knowest not whom I am?

        The stranger just turned and looked at her like she had just suggested that birds live underground.

        “Should I be?” he asked.

        Luna didn’t know the answer to that question.

        While she thought about it, he turned his attention back to the statue.

        A few minutes later, the stranger stood up and walked away, but not before smacking a hoof against the statue’s paw and talon.

        Luna remained at the statue for a little while longer, turning over the question in her head. Eventually she left to go to the dinner party.




-----Speaking of the Dinner Party-----




        Trixie was feeling a touch nervous. Ever since she had arrived she felt out of place. The guards eyes lingered on her longer than they did the others, and when Bolero was greeting the group he passed over her. Blueblood was also ignoring her, but she was less bothered by that because he was ignoring everyone. Her feelings weren’t helped by the fact that, between all of the noble ponies wearing such fancy clothes, even Shining Armor was in his captain of the guard apparel, and Celestia insisting that the other mares wore their elements, she felt, well, naked.

        What am I even doing here? she kept on asking herself. She wasn’t one of the royal family, and she wasn’t a savior of Equestria. She was only here because Twilight and Card wanted her to be. And Card wasn’t even here!

        At this point, Celestia had finally decided to intervene in Blueblood and Cadence’s squabble, pointing out that it was time to take their seats along the long dinner table. There were sixteen places put out. Seven of them were along one side of the table, with six across. There was a single plate at one of the heads of the table, presumably for Luna. Oddly enough, at the other head of the table, there were two dining places set up next to each other. 

        While everypony else seemed to know where to sit, Trixie was completely lost. 

        Suddenly, the massive double doors swung open again.

        “Hey everyone, sorry I’m late,” Card said.

        “How dare you lie to me,” Blueblood jokingly said.

        Cadence shot her cousin a glare. “Don’t worry, we were just taking our seats.”

        Card walked over to Trixie, “What’s up?” he asked.

        “I have no idea where to sit,” Trixie said.

        “No problem, just sit next to me.” Card walked over to the table and sat at one of the two places at the head of the table. He motioned that Trixie should sit down on his right, just around the corner from him.

        When she did, those who knew the significance of the gesture were appropriately shocked. Even the guards eyes widened slightly. Upon seeing the look in Card’s eyes, no one decided to speak up about it. 

        The rest of the ponies took their seats, Twilight fretting over her choice briefly before choosing to sit across from Trixie as opposed to sitting next to Celestia.

        Once everyone was settled in, Luna walked into the room, looking as shy and timid as a 6’5’’ dark blue alicorn could. Before she could even open her mouth to speak, a noisemaker went off.

        Pinkie Pie had stood up in her chair, and was shaking and blowing on as many noisemakers, kazoos, and vuvuzelas as she could hold in three hooves and one tail.

        “Hooray!” she said, “The birthday mare is here! Happy birthday!!!”

        Almost everypony looked mortified, including Luna herself. Rarity, who had ended up sitting next to Pinkie after finding she had been too slow to sit next to Blueblood, tried to make her friend come down.

        Suddenly, a chuckle rang out. Luna was covering her mouth with her wing, trying to smother the noises of mirth. When they subsided, all traces of her former nervousness were gone.

        “Thank you, youngling,” Luna said to Pinkie Pie with a smile on her face.

        After that, everypony sent Luna their “Happy birthday”’s and “Good evening”’s.

        Eventually, everything had subsided and Luna took her seat at the head of the table, across from Card, whom she didn’t recognize in the bright lights of the dining room.

        Celestia looked a little bothered, saying, “Well, I suppose we should begin. There’s no more point in waiting.”

        “Aww, come on Aurora. You wouldn’t really start without me, would you?”

        With everyone’s attention on Celestia, no one noticed the sudden appearance of a large, yellow, alicorn stallion. His hair was red, but became blonde near the tips.

        After everypony recovered from the shock, Celestia spoke up again.

        “Ah, yes. It occurs to me many of you don’t know who this is. This is Solaris, My and Luna’s elder brother.

        “The King of Equestria.”
> A Meal For Royalty
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Twilight and her friends were shocked into silence once more. This silence only lasted a few seconds before Card spoke up.

        “It’s about time you got here, old man.”

        “Sorry, fetus, work dragged on a little longer then it should have,” Solaris said as he walked over to take the seat next to Card. This presented his profile to the group at the table, revealing his cutie mark to be a black sun.

        Twilight and Trixie shifted in their seats, intimidated by the king’s large form sitting so close to them.

        Solaris grinned as he saw who he was sitting near. “You must be Twilight, and Trixie,” He pointed at each mare respectively. “My son has told me so much about you two!” he said as he ruffled Card’s hair. Card swatted at the hoof that was messing up his mane.

        Each of the mares reacted to this news with varying degrees of shock. Applejack merely widened her eyes, Fluttershy was so surprised she straightened up in her chair, Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed, Pinkie had no visible reaction, Trixie recoiled, and Twilight’s jaw dropped. However, no pony had a reaction as severe as Rarity.

        “What!” She sprang up so quickly she knocked over her chair. “Tha- Tha- That’s impossible! Princes are refined and elegant and chivalrous, like him!” Rarity pointed at Blueblood.

        “Thank you,” the prince replied on reflex.

        “Not that aloof, ignorant, crass, rude brute!” Rarity finished yelling, her face red as an apple.

        “Technically you’re right,” Solaris said. “Officially he’s the Crown Prince.”

         There was an audible crash as Rarity’s worldview shattered, followed closely by her fainting and hitting the floor.

        “Is she gonna be okay?” Solaris asked.

        “Yeah, she does this all the time,” Card said.

        Rarity woke up and took her seat again. Her face was a picture of denial.

        Then the food finally came.

        After the ponies all got their food, Solaris noticed that Rainbow Dash was glaring at him, not touching her meal.

        Solaris sighed, momentarily putting down his food. “You know, you might as well ask me any questions you have. If you don’t the food’s going to get cold.”

        “Where were you when Nightmare Moon attacked?” Rainbow Dash said with a glare. “Why did we have to be the ones to stop her? How did she even escape?!”

        The other ponies were all taken aback by how blunt she was in her attack, but Solaris just smiled.

        “I like her,” he said to Celestia with a pleasant laugh. He turned his attention to Rainbow Dash. “You’re Loyalty right? Good to know the Elements are as discerning as ever. Well, in answer to your question, I was busy and I was sure it would be handled, as it clearly was. As for how she escaped, she didn’t. Her sentence was up and I let her out.”

        “You let her out! How could you do that, do you have any idea what she did!?”

        As Rainbow Dash was yelling, Luna started looking more and more downcast.

        “Yes, I was there. And for her crimes she was sentenced to ten centuries of imprisonment.” Solaris noticed how sad Luna looked, and decided to cut off the line of questioning. “Any other questions?” he asked, leaving Rainbow Dash fuming.

        “Ah’ve got one,” Applejack said in between bites. “If yer the king, how come Celestia has to do all the work? What do y’all do all day?”

        “Good question. Aurora doesn’t do all of the work, she only handles the work that affects you all, which is probably why you haven’t heard of me. She makes sure everything in the kingdom is running smoothly,” Solaris said.

        “Well why does she have to do all that?” Applejack asked.

        “She’s better at it then I am,” Solaris admitted, “Aurora, for some unfathomable reason, actually enjoys the day to day tedium of internal affairs. Personally I can’t stand it. I’m much better suited to dealing with our neighbors.”

        While Solaris was fielding questions, there were small conversations going on around the table. Everypony was talking to someone except for Luna. The Princess of the Night was keeping her gaze down firmly at her plate, pushing her food around as she slumped in her chair. Celestia noticed her little sister’s isolation, and decided to attempt to bring her out of it.

        “Trixie,” the princess said, startling the young mare, “Twilight has told me that you are quite the illusionist, yes?” 

        “Huh? Oh, I mean… I’m okay. I guess,” Trixie said.

        “I was wondering if you could give us a little example of your skills?” Celestia said. Her eyes flickered briefly to Luna, noticing that at the mention of illusions her sister had perked up slightly. Unfortunately, she was so worried about how her sister felt, that she didn’t notice how nervous Trixie became as everypony at the table gave her their attention.

        “I… I don’t know, it’s really not all that impressive,” Trixie said, using one of her hoofs to fiddle with her hair.

        Applejack overheard the conversation. “Why nonsense, sugarcube! Don’t sell yerself short like that,” she said, turning her attention to the Princess, “Why y’all should have seen her when she first came inta town, Ah saw her do thangs that near blew mah hat off.”

        “Thank… Thank you Jackie, that’s… that’s really nice,” Trixie muttered out, by now so nervous that she had turned her face away from everypony else. She took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves.

        By now Luna was giving Trixie her fullest attention, and Celestia noticed. “Well, with a recommendation like that I must insist on a demonstration,” Celestia said, completely missing Trixie’s fidgeting.

        Trixie swallowed. There was no way she could refuse the Princess. “O-okay then,” she said. She grabbed a small loaf of bread and a knife. With trembling hooves she slowly started cutting a picture of a pony into the crust as her horn dimly glew. 

        When the picture was finished, the pony made of crust sprang off of the loaf. It galloped around the table, running around the various plates, jumping over obstacles, even climbing onto Celestia’s hoof so the Princess could take a better look at it. Then, it came back to where Trixie was sitting and seamlessly reattached itself to the loaf of bread.

        The ponies applauded.

        “Well done!” Celestia said, glancing at Luna who was applauding alongside everyone else with an impressed smile on her face.

        “Thank you.” Trixie turned to face her with a shaky smile as she continued to fidget with her hair. She quickly bowed before becoming very interested in her meal.

        “Really, that’s some very impressive work, especially for one so young! How old are you anyways?” Celestia asked.

        “I turn 21 in a couple of months…”

        Trixie grabbed hold of Card’s hoof, squeezing it while she tried to calm down.

        “Really? Wow! I have to know, where did you learn how-”

        “Aurora, I think you’ve badgered the poor mare enough. Give it a rest,” Solaris said, noticing how close Trixie was to hyper ventilating. “Let her go back to eating.”

        Trixie shot the King a grateful look.

        Twilight wasn’t blind to her friend’s predicament either, and she seized the opportunity to change the subject.

        “Why do you call Princess Celestia, ‘Aurora’?” she asked Solaris.

        “Because that’s her name,” he said. “Aurora Celestia.”

        “Oh. So then do you have a longer name?”

        “Yeah, all three of us do. I am Corona Solaris, and she’s-” he pointed across the table at Luna, “Luna Nocturne.”

        Twilight noticed the inconsistency and was about to point it out when Card spoke up.

        “Wait, you told me her name was Noc-Noc?”

        Luna let out a large groan and buried her face in her hooves, “Will We never escape the thrice-blasted nickname?” she muttered.

        “Not if I have anything to say about it, no,” Solaris said in a teasing voice.

        Celestia laughed at her siblings old routine, but then she noticed the clock on the wall.

        “I do believe it’s time for dessert!”

        “Oh?” Solaris said, his interest piqued. “What is it?”

        “Chocolate lava cake! I made it myself!” Celestia said.

        As soon as those words had left her lungs, Solaris started getting up from the table, “Oh wow, you know that sounds really good and all, but I ate so much I couldn’t possibly stom- eat any more,” he said hurriedly.

        “Yeah, and I ate a massive cupcake right before coming here, I am stuffed,” Card said. “Hey dad, what do you say to a quick game of chess up in the observatory?”

        “That sounds splendid, the party’s ending up there later anyways. Let’s go. Right now.”

        And with that, the King and Crown Prince of Equestria hastily fled the dining room. The question on everyone’s mind was, “What in the world are they running from?”

        That question was swiftly answered when the cake was brought in.

        Here’s a neat little question for all you, how do you tell the Princess of the Sun that her baking tastes like a burned rock? The answer: You don’t!

        Seriously, how the hell do you manage to burn frosting?
> Those Poor, Poor, Werewolves
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “Your move,” Card said, moving his knight to c5.

        “Are you sure?” Solaris asked.

        “Yeah.”

        Solaris shrugged and took his newly unguarded rook.

        “Damnit,” Card said. “I didn’t see that.”

        “You seem distracted.”

        Card looked up from the board to raise an eyebrow at his father.

        “More distracted than usual,” Solaris said as he rolled his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

        “I don’t wanna go back to work,” Card said.

        Solaris harumphed. “That’s not it, what else?”

        Card sighed. “I have to tell them soon, don’t I?”

        “I’m afraid so. Don’t worry though, the rest will be there too.” 

        “?” Card grunted.

        “I took the liberty of inviting them to stay at the manor for a few days before and after New Years. Thought you might enjoy seeing them again.” 

        “What!? That’s only a week away, and you’re only telling me this now! Do you know how long it’ll take to prepare everything?” Card yelled.

        “It’ll take you an hour,” Solaris condescended at his son, “don’t exaggerate. All you have to do is lock about twenty rooms in place and seal up the rest. Now make your move.”

        Card did so, glare/pouting at his dad. “What day are they coming?”

        “The 28th. Speaking of, how are you feeling?” Solaris asked.

        “Better. You were right, the Elements definitely help.”

        “Good to hear. You know, I could always have them moved back if you want,” Solaris said, his voice tinged with concern.

        “No, no. I can handle it on my own. But… Being that close. Seeing it, it’s just so… Tempting.”

        “You’ve gone to look at it?” Solaris said sharply.

        “Don’t worry, I only do it when it’s calm, I’m not an idiot.”

        “I know, I know.”

        “Good evening!” Bolero said as he yanked open one of the observatory doors. He saw Card and Solaris at their chess table in the center of the massive circular room. “I do hope we are not interrupting anything.”

        “Hello Bolero. Don’t worry, we were just about done.” Solaris, still looking at the pegasus, moved his bishop. “Checkmate.”

        Card sighed. “Hello uncle,” he said, “and you too Blueblood.”

        Blueblood and Shining Armor had come up to the observatory with Bolero, under the pretense of going out for a smoke.

        “Blueblood,” Solaris said by way of greeting, “and you too… Bluenette Blueblood.” He said to Shining Armor.

        “What!?” Shining and Blueblood yelled.

        “Oh good, so it’s not just me,” Card said.

        Shining Armor was very cross. How dare someone compare him to the princely fop! Then he remember who it was who did that.

        “My King,” he said as he kneeled.

        “Oh get up, do you see a crown?” Solaris said as he pointed at his bare head.

        Shining Armor got up.

        “...,” he said.

        Bolero reached into his cloak and pulled out a carton of cigars. He offered one to each of them.

        Solaris and Blueblood accepted, Card and Shining did not.

        There was a brief silence as the three lit up.

        “So, when are you planning to propose?” Card asked Shining Armor.

        Shining Armor made a noise that sounded like a bird flew into his throat.

        “What?!” he said.

        “When are you planning to propose to my cousin.” Card elaborated, “I know you’ve been planning it.”

        “Wha- How-” 

        “Oh, magnifico!” Bolero said. “This is wonderous!”

        “I- Uh- Ah-” Shining Armor stared at Card, “How?” he finally managed to spit out.

        “You kept on looking at Serenade’s wedding ring, and glancing at where you would put Enza’s engagement ring. You’ve been trying to stay on Bolero’s good side, and have been looking at him every time you do something for Enza, like you’re trying to impress him,” Card said. “There were a bunch of smaller things too, but I don’t have time to go into them.”

        “Oh. Well…” Shining Armor looked embarrassed, “I guess now’s as good a time as any. Sir,” he said as he turned to face Bolero, “Would you give me permission to wed your daughter?”

        “What, a captain of the royal guard and direct blood relative to one of the Elements of Harmony?” Bolero said. “Of course you can! It is a most wondrous union!”

        “Really!” Shining Armor said with a massive grin on his face, “Oh thank you, sir!

        Blueblood scoffed, “I don’t see why you’ve waited so long, just ask her already. Get it over with.”

        “Oh like you’re one to talk,” Card said. “How are things with the good Lady Sinduro?”

        Blueblood stuck his nose up in the air, “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

        Card just chuckled.

        A little bit later, the mares came into the observatory.

        “Where’s the ceiling?” Applejack asked.

        “Whenever we want to use the observatory, we put it away,” Celestia explained. “Now then, we are all here brother. Why did you wish us all to come?”

        Solaris got up from his seat and went over to Luna. He kissed his sister on the cheek and then gestured to the sky.

        “There are now no longer any living creatures on that moon, and frankly, I don’t like the idea of my baby sister having a permanent reminder of her mistake. So, me and Wild figured out the perfect birthday present for her.” Solaris pointed a hoof straight at the moon.

        Suddenly, a speck of purple appeared on the moon’s surface. It got bigger and bigger, engulfing more and more of the moon until it consumed all of it.

        Twilight and her friends were so enthralled by the show that they didn’t notice the faint glow emitting from the Elements of Harmony.

        Once all of the moon was overtaken, something strange happened. It started getting smaller. It shrank and shrank until it disappeared. 

        All of the ponies were shocked, but none more so than Luna herself. She reached out across the whole night sky with her magic, searching, searching, but she couldn’t find even the smallest pebble. Tears filled her eyes.

        “Thank you,” she said as buried her head in her brother’s chest. “Thank you.”

        The reactions of the other ponies ranged from shocked to impressed to even slightly sad. But only one was annoyed.

        “Are you insane?” Celestia said to her brother, more exasperated than anything else, “How do you plan on dealing with all of the panic this will cause?”

        “Not my problem!” Solaris said.

        “What! No, no, I am not handling all of this on my own!”

        “Do you want to give the job back?” Solaris asked.

        Celestia sigh/growled. “You are infuriating, you know that?”

        “Yes. Don’t worry, I’ll replace it tomorrow.” Solaris turned his gaze down Luna, who was still hugging him. “I think it was worth it.”

        Celestia looked at the smile on her sister’s face, the part of it not obscured by Solaris’s body at least, and agreed.

        Twilight was staring at the sky. I wonder how the King did that? A nudge from Trixie roused her from her thoughts. 

        “Isn’t that sweet?” Trixie said, pointing to the King and Princesses

        “Yeah. What do you think Card?” Twilight asked.

        When a reply didn’t come, the mares looked around the room. 

        “Where’d he go?” Trixie asked.

        “I don’t know.”

        “I’m sure he’s fine,” Trixie assured her. “Now come on, we need to leave. We’ve gotta get up early tomorrow.”

        “Yeah you’re right. Still, I wonder what he’s doing.”




-----In the Statue Garden-----




        Card made his way through the field, his eyes shut tight and his ears plugged up. Naturally, this led to him crashing into almost every single statue in the garden. Some more than once. His brow dripped with sweat, his breath was haggard, and his face was expressionless. Slowly but surely he made his way to a dark purple orb.

        The orb grew slowly, destroying all the matter that it engulfed. Card walked straight towards it.

        As he drew near, the orb pulsed, shifting slightly in his direction. He grimaced. His breathing became more staggered, almost turning into moans. Then suddenly, the orb started to shrink, retreating from the matter around it, including the ground. 

        Card walked closer and closer to it and it became smaller and smaller, until it became a dark pink pebble with small streaks of yellow and white. It fell from the air.

        Card rushed over to retrieve it and promptly fell into the perfectly spherical crater the orb had formed as it destroyed the ground.

        Card swore and got up, removing the blindfold from his eyes and the plugs from his ears. He tossed them into his jacket. He got to the pebble and reached out his hoof. He hesitated briefly and then quickly picked it up. He held it in front of his face, waiting for something. 

        Nothing happened.

        Card heaved a loud sigh of relief and smiled. He tossed the pebble into his jacket and then sat down to relax a little bit.

        “All good?” Solaris asked as he soundlessly teleported next to Card.

        “Yeah. All good,” Card said as he lay back and looked at the starry sky. “I’m room 213.”

        “Wha-?” Solaris asked as he looked over to see Card fast asleep. He smiled and teleported his son into his hotel room. He then teleported off to go tell Celestia about the hole in the statue garden.

> A Chaotic Interlude
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “Wheee!~” Pinkie Pie cheered as she twirled on the ice. To Pinkie Pie winter meant three things: hot chocolate, New Year’s parties, and ice skating, and for the first time since she had gotten back to Ponyville from Canterlot, it was cold enough for the lakes in the Everfree forest to freeze over.

        She had had it all planned out since last night, when her Pinkie sense told her that there would be snow in the forest. She set her vibrating alarm for five a.m., so she could go out and play and still come back in time to start working, she had dug out her skates from the closet, and she had prepared a huge box of cookies for her to eat on her way to the forest.

        For the past hour, Pinkie Pie had been whirling and twirling along the ice, taking advantage of her solitude with loud cheers and yells. She was in the middle of spelling out her name backwards.

        “Pppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-” she said, drawing out the sound of each letter as she carved them. Suddenly she was interrupted by a faint voice coming out of the trees near the lake she was skating on. As it drew nearer she started to be able to make out what it was singing.

        “-uts, go nuts. Donuts, go nuts. Donuts, go nuts,” Card sang quietly as he emerged from the forest. He was carrying a flat box with the top open. 

        “Hhhhiiiiiiiiiii!” Pinkie yelled as she skated over to where Card was. She got up to the lakebed before she was hit by the smell of freshly cooked donuts.

        Card looked at her over his donut box. “Hey,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

        “I’m ice skating!” Pinkie said as she stepped onto the snow-covered ground.

        “Really? It looks like you’re just walking on the ground with skates on.”

        Pinkie giggled. “No silly, I was ice skating. I stopped to say hello!” She got right in front of Card, “Hello!” Her stomach then growled in response to its close proximity to sugary baked goods. “No!” Pinkie said to her stomach, “Those aren’t ours! Don’t be rude.”

        Card laughed as he took two donuts from his box. He put one of them in his mouth and bent down to offer the other one to Pinkie’s stomach.

        Pinkie’s stomach rumbled.

        “Is that a yes?” Card asked, straightening up to look Pinkie in the eye’s as he spoke.

        “Yep! Thank you!” Pinkie said. She bent down to Card’s hoof and ate the donut off of it. “Yum!” she said, “It’s been so long since I had one of these!”

        “I know right!” Card said, “That’s the one bad thing about living here, it’s so hard to get donuts!”

        “I know! I’ve been trying to get Mr. Cake to buy a donut machine, but he doesn’t like them very much. He says they remind him to much of olives!”

        “What? But donuts are nothing like olives! They’re both roundish and have a hole in them, but that’s it! What a silly reason not to sell donuts!”

        “I know!”

        “I know!” 

        “I know!”

        “I know!”

        “I know!”

        “Wait, what do we know again?”

        “...I don’t know!” Pinkie said, before she collapsed on the snow in giggles. Card didn’t join her on the ground, but only barely.

        As their laughter subsided, Card spoke again. “Why are you so happy?” he asked in between his dying chuckles.

        “What do you mean? I’m always this happy! Why are you so happy?” Pinkie asked.

        “I know why I’m happy, I want to know why you’re happy.”

        “Oh. Well why wouldn’t I be happy? I can skate, I have donuts, why would I be sad?” Pinkie explained.

        “Good point,” Card said.

        “Now, you have to tell me why you’re so happy!” Pinkie said in her best serious voice. An effect which was totally ruined by her still giggling.

        “My friends are coming over today,” Card said as he finished the last donut in the box and threw it into his jacket. He bent down to pick up a little bit of snow from the ground as he continued, “And besides, it’s winter! The best of all seasons. All the bugs are gone, you can see your breath, and snow makes everything pretty.” He took the small bit of snow he had and sprinkled it throughout Pinkie’s mane. “There! Now you are pretty!” 

        “Aww, you mean I wasn’t pretty before? You big meanie-face,” Pinkie teased as she stuck her tongue out at him, “You know what, I’ll make you pretty too!” Pinkie took off her skates and ran to the treeline. She picked up a small flower and stuck it into Card’s hair so that it looked like it was growing out his head.

        Card looked at their reflections in the ice and barked out a laugh. “Thank you for your kind aid to my ugliness Milady!” he said as he swept his legs around in an exaggerated bow, bringing his head so low that the flower nearly fell out of his hair.

        “Always happy to help!” Pinkie played along with Card and tried to curtsy in as flamboyant a manner as she could, but ended up tripping and falling onto her face.

        Card laughed again as he helped her up.

        “Tee-hee~, Thank you kind sir!” Pinkie said.

        “Always a pleasure o’ Pinkest of Pie’s!” Card said in his best Blueblood impression.

        Pinkie giggled some more. Suddenly the box she had carried her cookies in started ringing.

        “Oh, no,” Pinkie said as she pulled an alarm clock out of the box. “I have to go now. It’s almost time for me to start working.” She tied her skates together and hung them around her neck.

        “Mind if I walk you home?” Card asked, “I could use a distraction.”

        “From what?”

        “I still need to clean my house before my friends come, and I really don’t want to.” Card groaned.

        “Oh yeah! If your friends are coming I need to get together a party for them!” Pinkie said, her eyes widening as she started planning out what to do.

        “No, no, no. Please,” Card said as they started walking towards SugarCube Corner. “My friends make enough trouble when they’re calm, let alone when they party.”

        “Oh? What do you mean?” Pinkie asked, always intrigued by a story.

        “Well let me give you an example,” Card said. “This is something that happened just last year. My youngest friend had just turned eighteen and so when night came, he burst into the room where me and my other friends were relaxing and yelled, ‘The government thinks that I am now responsible enough to drink, who wants to go help me prove them wrong!’”

        “Haha, what?” Pinkie said.

        “Oh, and it gets better,” Card said. He continued telling the story to a rapt Pinkie Pie the whole time they were walking towards her house. Eventually they made it to their destination.

        “-So he goes up the fire hydrant and yanks it straight out the ground! Then he tucked it under his foreleg and said, ‘I need this,’ while he-”

        “We’re here!” Pinkie said, interrupting Card’s story.

        “Oh. Well would you look at that?” Card said as he looked at the bakery’s sign.

        “I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta go now,” Pinkie said regretfully. Before she could open the door Card spoke up.

        “Wait. I was planning on throwing a New Year’s party over at my house, but I’m not a great planner. I was wondering if you could maybe help me out?”

        “Oh! I would love to!!!” Pinkie said with one of her massive smiles.

        “Great! Thank you!” With that, Card leaned over to Pinkie and kissed her on the check. “Bye!” he said as he walked off.

        Pinkie was stunned for a few seconds, blushing while her brain processed what just happened. When it was done, smiled. Not one of her big, ear to ear, grins, that let everypony around know how happy she was either. This was a small, private smile. A smile for nobody but herself.




-----Meanwhile, Across Town at Sweet Apple Acres-----




        “Where is it, where is it, where is it?” Applejack muttered to herself as she tore apart her room.

        “Young lady, y’all better come down for breakfast right now!” Granny Smith called. “We’re all waitin’ on yah.”

        After a few glances from Applejack between her room and the door, she finally tore herself away from her search to come downstairs to eat.

        “Ah’m sorry y’all, I just can’t find Brick’s hat anywhere, and Ah dun know where it could be,” Applejack said as she came to the kitchen.

        “Did you check between your bed and the wall?”

        “A’course, that was the first place Ah-” Applejack stopped talking when she looked at who had just spoken.

        “Howdy A.J.,” the blood-red unicorn stallion said as he leaned back in his chair. He tipped back the brown stetson on his head that was just barely covering his white mane so he could get a better look the young mare. “How’s it going?”
> Power
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Applejack tackle-hugged Brick. Being that Brick hadn’t had enough time to put all four legs of his chair back onto the ground, this lead to both of them falling to the floor. Fortunately Applejack landed on top of Brick which, combined with her being blinded by her glee at seeing him again after seven years, meant she didn’t even notice the fall. Brick was less fortunate, and got a nice bump on his head. 

        “Yer back! Ah can’t hardly believe it!” Applejack said. She squeezed Brick even tighter, as though afraid that he would suddenly turn out to be a dream.

        “It’s good to see you too,” Brick said, patting Applejack on the head.

        Granny Smith cleared her throat, getting the two ponies attention. “Would y’all mind gettin’ up offa the floor so’s we kin eat like civilized folk? Honestly, y’all are actin’ like foals.”

        “Sorry granny,” Applejack said as she reluctantly got up off of Brick, who went to help Granny Smith pass out the food, and took her seat at the table. She noticed Applebloom giggling at her behind her hoof. “And what’s so funny?”

        “Ah thank you turned inta Pinkie Pie for a moment there,” Applebloom said.

        Applejack blushed for a second, before turning her attention back to Brick. 

        “So, Ah guess yer a big ol’ fancy doctor now,” Applejack said.

        “Yep! Got my license and everything!” Brick said proudly as he placed a stack of pancakes in the center of the table. He picked his chair up off the floor and sat back down.

        “What’s it like in the big city?” Applebloom asked.

        Brick chuckled, “I wouldn’t call Creston a big city. It’s nice though. Lots of hills and parks. Always something new to do, a new club or an event or something like that.”

        “Sounds fun.”

        “It is. Now, on to a more important topic.” Brick looked directly at Applejack. “Mac’s told me about most of things I’ve missed, but he skipped over the most important part. Any coltfriends I should worry about?”

        “Wha? No! No, Ah’m way to busy on tha’ farm to date,” Applejack said.

        “Darn,” Brick said, “I was looking forward to teasing you about that.” Brick turned his attention over to Big Mac, “What about you? How are things going with you and Cheerilee?”

        Before Big Mac could answer, Applebloom yelled out, “What?! Big Mac used to go out with Ms. Cheerilee?”

        Brick turned to Applebloom with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “Nah, he never got up the nerve to actually ask her out, but let me tell you one thing. Your brother used to carry such a huge torch for her that every time she came over, I was sure he was gonna set the barn on fire. Again. Again.”

        Applebloom’s jaw hit the table. “Really?”

        “Really. But, given that you’ve never heard of this, I guess he still hasn’t gotten up the nerve to ask her.”

        “Busy,” Big Mac said defensively as he finished off the pancakes.

        “Oh, if working on the farm was an excuse than you and your sisters would never have been born.”

        “Speakin’ of workin’,” Granny Smith said, “It’s about time for us to start.”

        “Oh,” Applejack said. Usually she was the one who noticed when it was time for the work to start, but she was so distracted that she forgot.

        “What are you doing today Mac?” Brick asked.

        “Plowing.”

        “Great, I’ll go help you.” Brick stood up to leave with his friend, only to be grabbed by Granny Smith.

        “Nonsense, you’re a guest. Ah couldn’t ask you to help us with our chores,” the elderly mare said.

        “Not this again,” Brick said. “My answer is the same as it was when I was eighteen. I want to help, and you can’t stop me.”

        Applejack giggled at the memory of what happened last time Granny Smith tried to stop Brick from helping. The old mare had sat upon the plow and refused to get off as long as Brick was trying to harness himself to it, nagging at him the whole time. In response, Brick had simply plugged up his ears, harnessed himself up to it anyways and plowed the whole field, taking the still talking Granny Smith along for the ride.

        “What kinda farmers could we call ourselves if we needed help just to do a little winter clean up?” Granny Smith shot back.

        While those two were arguing, Applejack bent down to whisper in Applebloom’s ear.

        “This is gonna take a while, let’s go and get started.”

        Applebloom nodded her agreement and the Apple siblings quietly left the kitchen while Brick and Granny smith were arguing.

        As soon as they were out of the house, Applebloom looked up at her big brother and slightly-less-big sister and asked, “Who is he? Why don’t Ah know him?”

        “He’s an old friend of our’s,” Applejack explained. “He left to go to school back when yah were five or so. He used to help us out on the farm all the time.”

        “Really?”

        “Eeyup,” Big Mac said, “He used to help plow the fields while Applejack and Ah bucked the apples.”

        “Isn’t plowing the fields your job?”

        “Eeyup.”

        “Brick couldn’t applebuck, so instead he plowed the fields,” Applejack explained.

        “Wait, how could he be strong enough to plow the fields but not be able to applebuck? Ah kin do it, and Ah can’t even lift the plow,” Applebloom asked, greatly confused.

        “He ain’t too weak, he’s too strong is the problem.”

        “What do yah mean?”

        “Look, yah know how Big Mac has ta use one leg when he bucks tha apples because if he uses both the tree either breaks, or goes flyin’ off? Well guess what happened when Brick tried to do it.”

        “The tree broke?”

        “The tree didn’ snap in two, it didn’ go flyin’ off, it didn’ even move very far from where it was before. Brick hit that tree… And it just exploded into splinters. One moment there was an apple tree, and the next it was a pile of toothpicks covered in leaves and apples.” 

        Applebloom’s eyes widened at the thought. “Wooow. Wait, why didn’ he try doing with one hoof, like Big Mac?”

        “That was with one hoof,” Big Mac said. “Now get along. No more storytime, we’ve gotta get tah workin’.”

        With that, the Apple siblings went their separate ways, ready to start off the day’s work. 




-----Teaser For Next Time-----




        Trixie and Twilight had met up to drink coffee and for some early morning company, at their favorite cafe The Pony Espresso.

        “And after she uses this great mystical power once, she never uses it again!” Trixie said, talking about a character in a series Card had gotten her to read. “It’s so infuriating! What do you think?”

        Twilight opened her mouth to answer when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw… Him. 

        The stallion who had helped out Card through the magic mirror on the roof of her house all those weeks ago. His dark blue coat seemed to absorb her the longer she looked at, his hair stuck out at every angle possible, clearly this was not a stallion with much time to waste on frivolities. His glasses hid his eyes from view as he rotated his head, getting every single detail from every single thing he was looking at, lending him an air of mystery..

        “Twilight? Hey, are you still in there?” Trixie clopped her hooves in front of her friend’s face, but to no avail. Twilight was lost in her own thoughts as her heart raced.

        What is he doing here? Maybe he heard about me and wanted to see the Princess’s apprentice with his own eyes! No, no, Twilight don’t be silly, he’s Card’s friend I’m sure he’s just here to visit him. Celestia, he’s gorgeous. I hope he looks at me. No, don’t look at me! I wonder what he could possibly be thinking about?

        In Tron’s head: I am so fucking lost.

> Wisdom
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        *slap*

        “Oww!” Twilight said, cradling her stinging cheek. “What was that for?”

        “Sorry,” Trixie said. “You were pretty deep in la-la-land. I couldn’t think of any other way get you out.”

        “Why didn’t you just shake me?”

        “I tried. What were you looking at anyway?”

        “Him,” Twilight pointed at the dark blue pegasus who was standing at the intersection near them, waiting for the light to change.

        Trixie turned around in her chair to look. “Yeah, what about him?”

        “He’s a friend of Card. He’s the one who helped him solve our problem at my sleepover.”

        “What problem?” 

        “Oh yeah, you were cleaning up the library,” Twilight filled Trixie in on what she had missed at the sleepover.

        “So that’s what happened to the picnic table. I wondered. Either way, why are you looking at him like that?”

        “Why? Well just look at him! He’s so handsome and tall and smart and,”

        Well, I’ve had crushes for dumber reasons, Trixie thought while Twilight rambled on.

        “And he knew what to do just like that, and his- Where are you going?”

        Trixie stood up from the table and picked Twilight up with her. “Come on, we’re going to go say hello.”

        What is wrong with this stoplight? It’s been like five minutes, Tron thought. Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and saw Trixie standing there with Twilight trying to hide herself behind her.

        “Hello?” Tron asked.

        “Hi,” Trixie said. “I saw you walking around, you seemed a little lost. Can I help you?” Trixie tried to move out of the way so he could see the blushing Twilight. 

        “Oh, that would be awesome, thanks. I’m looking for Agate Drive and 52nd street. Do you know where that is?”

        “That’s not to far from where I live. Just go left here for ten blocks and then make a right and you’ll be at the intersection.”

        “Thank you,” Tron finally noticed Twilight standing there. “Oh hi there. Wait, have we met before?”

        “Oh, uhh, well,” Twilight stammered out, simultaneously trying to think and look into Tron’s dark amethyst eyes.

        “Yeah, you were with Card when that bast- when he called me up to fix an overcharged rod.”  Tron barked out a short laugh. “Man, I still can’t believe somepony was dumb enough to set up one of those things without grounding it first.”

        “Yeah, yeah that was pretty stupid.” Twilight laughed nervously.

        “What was your name again? I want to say it was Twinkle Star, but that can’t be right. Well, that or Lollipop Chainsaw, but I doubt that’s your name either.”

        “Why would you think her name’s Lollipop Chainsaw?” Trixie asked.

        “Because if I wish for it hard enough, one day I will meet somepony with name as cool as Lollipop Chainsaw!” Tron said this with such conviction that Twilight couldn’t help but laugh a little.

        “M-my name’s Twilight Sparkle,” she said, her blush now faded to a light pink. She extended a hoof.

        “And I’m Trixie. Also a friend of Card,” Trixie extended a hoof of her own.

        Tron shook each of their hooves in turn, saying, “Name’s Polar Neutron, you can call me Tron. Thanks for your help. I’ve gotta go, but I hope I’ll see you two again. Bye.” He turned to his right and started heading down his merry way but was stopped by Trixie calling him.

        “Uh, no. It’s left.”

        “Oh, my bad. I have a terrible sense of direction,” Tron rubbed the back of his head in shame. He turned around and headed off to his left.

        “Wrong way again,” Trixie said, a small bit of mirth creeping into her voice. “Actually,” she said as she turned to face Twilight, “You remember my directions right?”

        “Ten blocks then right,” Twilight said.

        “Bingo! So then,” Trixie whirled back around to look at Tron, “Since I have to rush off to work, Twilight will take you the rest of the way!”

        “What?” Twilight whispered into her friend’s ear.

        “Thank me later,” Trixie whispered back with a wink.

        “Could you?” Tron asked Twilight, “Because that would definitely be appreciated.”

        “Oh, uh, um, uh, ah,” Must. Stop. Blathering. “Sure,” Twilight finally managed to say.

        “Thank you,” Tron said as he smiled.

        Twilight suddenly found it very difficult to keep all four legs underneath her. “Uh… Let’s go,” she said as she quickly turned in the proper direction in order to keep her, now bright scarlet, blush from showing. “Bye Trixie, see you later.”

        “Bye,” Trixie said with a wave, before heading off to get the office ready for work.

        The walk from the cafe to the house Tron was trying to find was quite silent. Twilight found that her tongue felt quite dry, like her mouth was stuffed with cotton.

        Eventually, they got to a blue square house with a yellow roof.

        “Here it is!” Tron said. “Thank you so much for helping me out.”

        He went up to the house and rang the doorbell. Almost immediately the door opened and a gray pegasus mare with blonde hair poked her head out.

        “Hello Mrs. Whooves,” Tron said.

        “Tron!” she said as she gave him a hug. “You’re early.”

        “What? No I’m not, I said I would be here at 7. It’s 7:30.” 

        “Yes, but I always add on a couple hours. I know how hard it is for you to find your way around new places.”

        Tron made a face like he really wanted to protest, but knew she was right.

        “Okay, fair enough. Still this time I had some help,” Tron pointed at Twilight, who was awkwardly standing there. The gray mare turned her head in her direction, and Twilight was able to see that she had one lazy eye.

        “This is Twilight. She’s a friend of Card’s and helped me find my way.”

        “Oh!” Mrs. Whooves said, before rushing into her house. “Don’t move!” she called behind her. A few seconds later, she returned. She walked out of her house and held a muffin out in front of Twilight’s face.

        “Here! Take it as thanks for helping Tron find his way here.”

        “Umm… Thank you?” Twilight said as she gingerly took the muffin.

        “Come on in!” Mrs. Whooves turned to go back into her home, motioning with a wing for Tron to follow her. “Dinky’s missed you.”

        “Bye,” Tron said to Twilight as he went inside.

        “Oh, uh,” The door closed as Twilight stammered, “Bye.”

        Twilight turned around and quickly walked back to the library, munching on the muffin, where she spent the next half-hour replaying the events of the last twenty minutes in her head.




-----Next Time-----




        Rainbow Dash was exhausted. She had spent the last four hours, first giving Ponyville its first snowfall of the season, then making sure that all the climate conditions were right to keep the snow from melting.

        She was looking forward to a nice relaxing session of rigorous training, as she worked on some new moves at her favorite practice range.

        The only problem was that when she got there, some asshole had made a huge cloud in the middle of it!



        A/N: I justify Twilight’s crush on Tron because of the fact that's she's sheltered. Tron left a very powerful first impression on her, and immediately established himself as someone with a very high intellect, so he got her respect. Then her brain was left to fantasize about him for a couple of months, and she's never had a crush before so she doesn't know how to control it very well. At least, that's how I justify it to myself.

        Besides, how long did it take her to get a crush in the movie?

        Song of next time: Mack the Knife, by Bobby Darin.

> Pride
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Rainbow Dash was already tired, but now she was angry to boot. Every pegasus in town knew that this was her field. After all, she had earned it being the leader of the Ponyville weather patrol team, and the only one who really worked on her flying, not just doing it as exercise. She was the one who took care of it, filling in the holes she left after her practices and such. Normally she was fine letting others use it, even happy about it because it gave her someone to train with, but this bastard wasn’t using it as a training ground. He had made a cloud, and stuck it smack dab in the middle of the airspace.

        Still, Rainbow Dash was a grown-up, and had a modicum of self-control. Rather than rushing straight towards him and demanding he left, she decided to make an attempt at diplomacy. Ponyville was a very small town, and as such everypony knew everypony else, by sight if not by name. As she got closer to the cloud, Rainbow Dash could tell that the pegasus was not from around these parts. His coat was completely black, and his mane was brown and curly.

        When she got close enough to be sure that he could hear her, Rainbow Dash cleared her throat. “Excuse me,” she said. “Would you mind moving your cloud?”

        “Why?” the stallion asked, his eyes closed.

        “This is my training ground. You’re kinda in the middle of it, and taking up a lot of space.”

        “Your training ground?”

        “Yes.” Rainbow Dash was relieved that the pony understood.

        “Okay then, I’d be happy to leave. Once you show me proof of your ownership, of course.”

        “What?” 

        “Well, if this is your training ground, then you must have sort of land deed. Show me that, and I’ll leave. If this land is public property, then I’m not breaking any rules by putting a temporary cloud here.”

        “What?!” Rainbow Dash was really annoyed. What he was saying was bad enough, but the stuck up pegasus was saying it all in such a condescending manner, and with the most annoying smirk, that it just pissed her off all the more. It wasn’t helped by the fact the his eyes were still closed, like she wasn’t even worth looking at. The time for diplomacy had passed.

        “Listen you jerk, I don’t know who you think you are, but this is my training area! If you don’t fly off right now I’ll make you leave!” Rainbow Dash flew back a little bit and geared herself up to start breaking apart his cloud. Suddenly, the black pegasus chuckled.

        He sat up and opened his eyes, revealing dark brown irises with thick black rims.

        “Tell you what, let’s make this interesting,” he said as he flew over to where Rainbow Dash was. “I’ll race you, across the field and back, and if you win I’ll leave. But if I win, I ain’t going anywhere. Deal?” he extended a hoof to Rainbow Dash.

        “Deal.” Rainbow Dash shook his hoof. Oh, this is going to fun! I can’t wait to wipe that smirk off of his face! He has no idea what he’s getting into, she thought as she went to the side of the field.

        Once they got there, the pegasus spoke again. 

        “My name is Shade.”

        “Why do you think I care?”

        “I believe you should always give your name to those you triumph over. Why don’t you give the cadence?”

        Rainbow Dash growled out the “One, two, three, go!” and then rocketed off to the other side of the field. When she made it to the other side and started turning, she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her opponent she since had left the starting line. She was so ready to see his face when he finally made it back, seeing her victorious and relaxing in tree. Her head was so full of her these fantasies and the single idea of going as fast as she could back to the other side, that she almost fell out of the sky when she was halfway across the field and heard a,

        “Done.”

        “What!” Rainbow Dash whipped her head, left and right, left and right, she couldn’t see him anywhere. Then she looked down and there he was, standing on the ground at the edge of the field. She flew over to him, her face a mixture of disbelief and anger.

        “How did you do that?” she asked.

        “I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Shade said, his smirk now bigger than ever.

        “That’s impossible, you can’t have beaten me!”

        Shade disregarded her as he got ready to take off back to his cloud.

        “You must have cheated!”

        Shade stopped dead in his tracks. His smirk disappeared as his lips rearranged themselves into a thin line. “Cheated?” he said.

        “Well how else could you have beaten me?!”

        Shade glared at her, and looked about ready to attack her, before his eyes briefly unfocused. After they refocused he shook his head. “Look, believe whatever you like. The fact remains that I won, so I’m going back to my cloud.”

        “Oh no! We’re doing that again, and this time I’ll beat you!”

        Shade rolled his eyes, and flew back to his cloud. Rainbow Dash glared at him for a while, but she eventually realized that it wasn’t doing anything. So she resolved to ignore him.

        She used the rest of the field, practicing and practicing, paying special attention to how quickly she could lap the field. But it wasn’t easy, because every time she looked into the center of the field, she saw that cloud and was reminded of her humiliating loss. Eventually, it became too much for her, and her anger was making her sloppy. She was about to cut her session short, when she noticed that Shade was leaving. 

        She flew over to his cloud and planted herself firmly in front of him.

        “Oh, what now?” he asked.

        “My name is Rainbow Dash.  Remember that, because next time we meet, you’ll be the one begging for a rematch.”

        “Yeah, sure,” Shade said, rolling his eyes. “Now would you mind getting out of my way? I have things to do.”

        Rainbow Dash silently took off and headed home. In her mind, she was already making plans on how she could show up that bastard the next time she saw him.

        So not quite what you expected, huh boss?

        Shut up, Morrogar. Still, at least she gave me a pleasant view. Where did you say Silver and Guile were?

        Guile just went off somewhere, but Silver’s heading off to some fashion boutique.

        Really? Why?

        Him and Ami were so busy ‘saying goodbye’ that he forgot his winter clothes.

        Heh. And with that, Morragar flew over and landed flat on his master’s back. Shade picked up his black cloak, the exact same color as him, and covered both himself and his familiar. So, where is this boutique anyways? he thought as he took off, dispersing the cloud in his wake.




-----Next Time-----




        Applejack was busy bucking the apple trees, shaking free the last fruits of the year from their branches. Her body was on autopilot, buck, move over a little bit, buck again, move again, &c &c. Her thoughts, however were filled with thoughts of Brick. Now that the initial euphoria of seeing him again after all those years had passed had worn off, she started wondering why exactly he chose to come back now. 

        She was snapped out of her ruminations by a jingling noise that was slowly getting louder. Suddenly, it stopped right behind her. She got tapped on the shoulder and turned around.

        “Can Ah help ya?” she asked, seeing a forest green earth pony, about her height, standing there. There was a long gold chain wrapped around his front left hoof. She assumed that that was making the jingling noise she was hearing.

        The stallion was dumbstruck as he looked at Applejack. “Dear giants, you’re gorgeous,” he said, his eyes wide.

        Applejack was taken aback by the sudden compliment, but before she could respond, the stallion shook himself out of his stupor and spoke again.

        “My name is Audacity. I’m looking for a friend of mine who he said he’d be here. His name’s Brick Bones.”
> Courage
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Between the sudden compliment and the green pony’s knowledge that Brick was there, Applejack was thrown for a little bit.

        “Wha’ was that?” she asked.

        “Oh sorry, I think I mumbled,” the green pony said. “I said, ‘Dear giants you’re gorgeous,’ and, ‘Do you know where Brick Bones is?’ I also told you my name was Audacity, but you can call me Odd. Most ponies do.”

        “Oh. Uh, well, thank you.” Applejack was no stranger to compliments, after all she was a rather comely young mare with legs toned by a life of farm work, but something about that one just struck her strangely. She couldn’t quite pin it down. Then the rest of the sentence caught up with her. “Brick should be over by th’ fields.”

        “Thank you.” And with that, Odd walked off.

        Applejack shook the strange encounter off and got back to apple bucking. Just as she was about to turn around to hit the first tree, she got another tap on the shoulder. Odd had returned, this time with a quite sheepish expression.

        “I’m sorry, but could you please show me where the fields are?” Odd said as he rubbed the back of his head.

        “Sorry, but Ah’ve gotta get back to work. They’re just behin’ the barn.” 

        “Thank you. Oh wait, before I go. What’s your name?”

        “Applejack. Why’d ya wanna know?”

        “I make it a policy to learn the names of every pretty mare I meet. See you around.” Odd walked away.

        Now Applejack was free to buck in peace, and had something to think about beyond just Brick.

        Eventually she finished bucking and, after making sure that all of the apples were put away, went back to the house to have a little lunch. Went she got there, she was surprised to find that Odd was sitting at the table, talking with Applebloom and Brick. 

        “So, why do ya have that thang around yer hoof?” Applebloom asked.

        “What, you mean my chain?” Odd held up the chain in question. “Isn’t it obvious? I have it so that I can do this!” Odd quickly whipped a small part of his chain straight at Brick’s head. Instead of smashing into Brick’s face, the chain wrapped around his hat. With a quick flick of Odd’s wrist, the hat was now flying through the air, straight into his outstretched hoof.

        “How did ya do that?” Applebloom said in awe.

        “With a lot of practice.” Odd placed the trilby on his head.

        “Why did ya even learn how ta do that?”

        “To impress mares.”

        “Really?” Applejack said, using skepticism to mask the brief heart attack she had at seeing the chain flying straight for Brick’s head. “And ya expect that ta work?”

        “Are you impressed?” Odd asked.

        “mmm… A lil’ bit.”

        “Then it was all worth it.” Odd tipped the hat in Applejack’s direction.

        “A-hem,” Brick cleared his throat.

        Odd sighed and gave his hat back.

        Applejack went to the fridge and started putting together a sandwich. 

        “So, where are ya staying?” she asked, trying to make small talk.

        “We’re staying at a friend’s house,” Odd said. “Maybe you know him. Little taller then me, earth pony, big brown jacket,”

        “Are ya talking ‘bout Card?”

        “Yeah. We’re staying at his place. Actually,” Odd looked like an idea had just struck him, “he’s throwing a New Year’s party. Why don’t you guys come over?”

        “You guys?”

        “Yeah, the whole Apple family. I mean, it is the whole reason we came to this town. Might as well try to liven it up a little.”

        “Oh wow, a big party! Can we, A.J.?” Applebloom begged her sister. “Please?”

        “Ask Granny Smith about that.” Applejack was somewhat distracted. She put down her sandwich and got up from the table. “Ah’ve gotta go set up the stand.” 

        “Was it something I said?” Odd asked the room after Applejack had left.

        From when she got out the cart, to loading it up, to setting the stand up, Applejack had one sentence repeating throughout her head.

        ‘It is the whole reason we came to this town.’ So he didn’t come back for us. We were just on the way. Seven years and we’re just second priority. Applejack thought as she arranged her goods, putting them into place with more force than necessary. Apparently her anger and sorrow showed, because everypony passed by her stall once they got a look at her face. At one point she started crying. She didn’t even notice, she was too deep in her thoughts to care.

        Then, she heard a clanking coming up the street. The same one that she had heard when she was bucking apples.

        “Yo!” Odd said as he came up to the stall.

        “Why are you here?” Applejack asked, annoyed at being snapped out of her self-pity.

        “I’m here to help you out. Thought you might want a little company out here.”

        “Why do ya wanna help me?”

        “Because I find you immensely attractive.”

        Odd said this in such a matter-of-fact way that, even with her sorrow and her anger, Applejack couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. She then became aware of the tears on her face.

        “Ah’m afraid now might not be the best tah admire me. Ah must look a fright.”

        “So much the better! If I can see you at your worst, then your best can only impress me more.”

        Applejack laughed a little more, and her bad thoughts were slightly pushed away.

        “Oh great, now I have two goals to deal with!” Odd said in mock anger.

        “What do ya mean?”

        “I already had to focus on making you talk as much as possible, but your laugh is really cute too. So, now I’m torn between hearing your amazing voice, or listening to your adorable laugh. Truly, this is a hard decision to make!”

        After another small bout of giggling, Applejack decided to take him up on his offer to help. The rest of their day was dominated by Odd asking Applejack questions to hear her speak, and making a fool out of hisself to make her laugh, until all thoughts of being sad and angry left her mind completely. Eventually however, time came for Odd to leave.

        “I’ve gotta go, sorry.”

        “Ah well. See ya.”

        “Yeah, see ya. Actually, I never got an answer.”

        “To wha’?”

        “Are you going to come to the New Year’s party? I would really like it, and I know Bones would too.”

        Applejack mulled it over. On the one hand, it did still sting a little bit that Brick didn’t come back for her, but on the other, he still came back, and the first thing he did was come visit them.

        “Sure. Ah’d be happy to come.”

        “Great!” and with that, Odd walked off into the dusk.




-----Next Time-----





        Rarity was bored out of her mind. Being the first snow day, most ponies were out playing as opposed to buying clothes, and so she was left with nothing to do. She was considering just closing up shop for the day when the chimes over her door rang.

        She rushed to the greeting area, and saw a silver unicorn with white hair standing there. Not gray, but shiny, almost reflective, silver.

> Honor
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “Hello madame,” said the silver stallion. “I am looking for a nice, warm, scarf. Could you assist me?”

        “Oh certainly,” Rarity said as she motioned the stallion over to her rack of accessories. “Is there some sort of style in particular you’re looking for, Mr…?”

        “Silvertongue. There is no need for the mister, madame.”

        “Very well, Silvertongue. Now, about that style?”

        “All I require is that it be warm. As for the style, I think I had best leave that up to your superior expertise. Whatever you think will look best.”

        Rarity smiled at Silvertongue. It was always a nice experience trying to assemble outfits for others, even if it’s just a single piece of clothing. The brand new color scheme she had to work with for each pony presented a challenge that she always found rewarding. To make things better, today was a slow enough day that she could take her time with the matter.

        “Well then, I think we had best start with trying to match you with a color. You do have quite a unique set of colors, I must say I have never seen a pony with a coat quite as shiny as your’s.” Rarity started levitating scarves off of the rack and contrasting the colors of each one with Silvertongue’s pelt. “If you don’t mind, may I ask you how you manage it?”

        “I wish I could tell you. It is simply like this naturally.” Silvertongue looked genuinely a little upset that he couldn’t answer her question.

        “Is that so? Then I’m quite jealous of you.” Rarity settled on using a color along the darker sides of red and green. She gathered up a large variety of scarves that fit her choice and motioned Silvertongue over to her mirror.

        The ponies made small talk as Rarity put each scarf onto Silvertongue, one by one, arranging them in every possible way one can wear a scarf. Then, the chimes over the door rang again.

        “Oh, I’m so sorry, I must go deal with that,” Rarity said.

        “No worries,” Silvertongue said, as she moved back to the front area.

        Waiting in the front area was a rather handsome, pitch-black pegasus with curly brown hair. 

        “Hello sir, welcome to the Carousel Boutique. How may I help you?”

        “I’m looking for a friend of mine, about my height, silver, unicorn,” the pegasus said, “I think he’s in here somewhere.”

        “Hello Shade,” Silvertongue said as he emerged from the back, carrying the last two scarves Rarity was debating over.

        “Hi Silver,” Shade said. “Forgot your clothes again?”

        “Yes, well, I was quite busy.”

        “I bet you were,” Shade said, his voice laced with innuendo.

        Silver tried to change the topic. “Which one do you like?” he said, showing him the scarves.

        “For you? The wine.”

        “Really?” Rarity asked. “What makes you so sure?”

        “The red will stand out better against the snow.”

        “I hadn’t even considered that. Good point.”

        “Thank you.”

        “So, will you be purchasing that now?” Rarity asked Silvertongue.

        “Yes, however there seems to be quite a mess in the back now. Please, allow me to clean it up,” Silver said, already heading to the rear.

        “Oh, I couldn’t possibly ask you to do that.”

        “I insist. The mess was made on my account, the least I can do is clean it up.”

        “You might as well let him,” Shade said. “He’ll argue about it until closing time. He’s done it before.”

        “Well in that case, I thank you for your consideration,” Rarity said to Silvertongue.

        After Silvertongue was in the back room, Shade spoke up again.

        “Thank you, by the way.”

        “Whatever for?”

        “For keeping him out of trouble. My name is Shade,” he extended a hoof to Rarity.

        “Charmed. I’m Rarity,” Rarity took Shade’s hoof but, rather than shaking it, he bowed and kissed it.

        “Yes, you are,” he said went he went back up. “I wonder, are you doing anything for New Year’s eve?”

        “I don’t believe I am at the moment.”

        “In that case, would you care to accompany me to a party my friend is throwing?”

        Rarity thought about this for a moment. He was certainly regal, and seemed polite enough. Besides, it’s not like she had very much else to do. Oh, but there was one problem.

        “I would love to, but unfortunately I have to watch my little sister. Sorry.”

        “Oh, she’s welcome to come along. There will a few foals there, so she won’t lack company.”

        “Well then, I would be most delighted.”

        “Fantastic! I’ll pick you up at nine.”

        “I look forward to it.”

        Just then, Silver finally finished putting all the scarves away. He paid for his new scarf and the two stallions left.

        “So,” Shade said as they walked down the street, “Where’s Guile?”

        “Oh I set him off on his own. He is more than capable of handling himself, and he knows where we are to meet up,” Silver said. “Now come on, let us go spar.”

        “I know the perfect place. Big ol’ empty field.”




-----Next Time-----




        “What’s wrong?”

        I sighed. I tried to keep on moving, I really did, but... 

        “Nothing, it’s just…” I sighed again and pulled up my hood. “I really hate my brother.”

        I have no idea if Silver Spoon heard me or not, because I was already heading towards the bullies.

        “Excuse me, gents.”
> Guile
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        You know how annoying it is to fall asleep in a bed that isn’t yours? I don’t know about you but it bothers the crap out of me, I just notice every single difference between my bed and the other one. Like this one for example, my normal bed, which technically isn’t my bed it’s Ami’s guest bed, but I’m usually the one who sleeps in it and I’ve put the most work into decorating the bedroom and I’ve gone off on a tangent. Sorry, I do that sometimes when I’m tired. 

        Anyways, back to the bed. There are all these little things that annoy me, the pillow’s a little too soft, the mattress is a bit too hard, the blanket’s made of some weird material, but those aren’t the things that bother me the most. No, for some reason the thing that kept me from falling asleep for a really long time was that the bed was just in a really weird place. My bed is pressed up against the side of my room, but this one is right smack dab in the center. It feels so weird. And it’s only with beds that this problem comes up, I can fall asleep anywhere else no problem and usually quite comfortably too. In chairs, sofas, up against the wall, no problem. That is until someone tries to wake me up.

        See, I’m the type of person whose body takes a long time to acknowledge that I’m awake. A fact that Silver, my big brother, is well aware of. Silver can wake up all at once, his eyes open and he’s ready to go. I got my sleeping pattern from Shade, my other brother. Well technically he’s not my brother, but he might as well be- right, right, rambling, rambling. Where was I?

        Oh yeah, waking up. Well, it so happened that when Silver rushed me onto the boat we were taking out of Oka to this place, I wasn’t fully awake, and really how could he expect me to be it was only 10:30, so I quickly fell asleep in my seat. I slept for the entire time until we crossed over Equestria’s borders. The instant we were in Equestrian waters, Silver teleported us to this town. Now being a unicorn, teleporting usually doesn’t bother me very much, especially teleports as smooth as Silver’s, but being teleported when sleeping has roughly the same effect as getting shaken awake while simultaneously having a bucket of ice water tossed on your head.

        “Oh good, you are up,” Silver said nonchalantly as I jerked awake. “How are you feeling?”

        I glared at him. “You couldn’t have woken me up first?”

        “I could have.”

        For someone who’s job revolves around being polite my brother can be a real asshole. I glared at him for a little while longer, but it wasn’t bothering him so I gave it up. “Where are we?” I asked, noticing that we were on a path right next to a dense forest. “I thought we were supposed to be in a city?”

        “I decided that I should put away our luggage first, and I can not teleport any closer to the manor. If you want, you can go explore around town.”

        “Okay.” Wandering around towns while I waited for something to do was nothing new to me. 

        “Are you sure you will be warm enough in that?” he gestured at my black hoodie.

        I nodded yes, my hoodie has gotten me through much worse then a few centimeters of snow. Anyways he wasn’t one to talk, he wasn’t wearing anything. I turned to leave, but he stopped me.

        Here,” he tossed me a small bag that jingled when I caught it.

        “What’s in this?” I asked as I slipped it into my pocket.

        “Bits.” I had forgotten that I didn’t have any Equestrian money. “Town is that way. Go, have fun. Just meet me here at sundown.” 

        He levitated our luggage off the ground and headed off into the forest. I saw that the sun was on its way down, so I figured that I only had a few hours of time to kill. While I was wondering exactly how I should commence the grisly murder of a few innocent hours, my stomach made itself known.

        *Growl* it said. Fortunately, the many languages I speak include Stomach, so I was able to translate that into, “I’m running on empty so if you wouldn’t mind moving in the general direction of food, I would be most grateful.”

        A very efficient language, Stomach is.

        Well, after an argument as persuasive as that I decided that maybe I should actually start heading towards the town while I thought. 

        Speaking of thoughts, the first that I had upon entering the city, actually thinking about it now I can’t really call it a city it’s barely big enough to qualify as a village but back to the point. The first thing I thought when I entered was how tall everything was. The last time I was in a purely Equestrian city was when I was eight and sure, thinking back everything was tall back then but I chalked that up to me being so small at the time. When I say tall, I mean the doors were a good two feet bigger than I was used to, and the windows were all a bit higher up as well.

        I guess it makes sense. I spend most my time in the Okan Empire, the kingdom of wolves, and as such I’m used to the way wolf houses are built. On average ponies are about a foot taller than wolves, so I guess everything was built to accommodate but it still threw me off.

        I wandered around the village, trying to go in a straight line and failing horribly, until suddenly I detected the scent of baked goods.

        My stomach made itself known again and repeated its request, this time emphasizing it with a small blast of mild discomfort that totally did not make me cringe. I heeded it once more, and went off in the direction of the smell. I eventually came across a building with a roof made to look like gingerbread, a violent contrast, though not an unwelcome one, to the brown-yellow thach of every other roof I had seen. 

        When I got closer I saw that it was a bakery and went inside. I placed my order, a lava fudge cake, and decided to take a seat at one of the small tables while I ate to avoid going back out into the snow. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who had that idea as most of the tables were full. I saw that there was one with an empty seat, but there was already someone sitting at it. A gray earth filly, with blue glasses, who looked to be around my age.

        Well I’m nothing if not sociable, so I walked up and asked if she would mind if I sat across from her.

        “Huh? Oh, sure.”

        She seemed a little preoccupied, and kept on spinning her spoon around in her hoof. My cake had yet to arrive, and I really hate awkward silences, so I decided to make an attempt at small talk.

        “My name’s Guile. What’s your’s?”

        She jerked a little, like she had forgotten that I was there. Still she managed to respond.

        “Silver Spoon.”

        Now it was my turn to be taken aback. “You’re kidding.”

        “Uhh… No?” She raised her eyebrow and gave me a funny look. “Is there something wrong with my name?”

        “Oh, no, not at all, it’s just that my brother’s name is Silver too.” Whenever I get flustered, I do this thing where I kinda wave my front hooves really quickly. I only bring it up because that’s what I did when I was saying that and she apparently found it funny, so now she was giggling at me. This did nothing to make me any less flustered.

        You know, I really hate the color I turn when I blush. It’s this really ugly, sick-looking, orangish-brownish thing that I have yet to see anywhere else but on my face.

        Anyways, I was saved from my embarrassment by the arrival of a waiter who put my cake in front of me and a slice of pie in front of Silver Spoon. I quickly dug in to distract myself. Looking back though, yeah, that was a mistake. It was a really good cake, I should have savored it.

        Eventually, I could feel that my blush had subsided enough that I could look up again and I decided to restart the conversation.

        “So, what is there to do around here?”

        “Honestly, not much. There’s a bowling alley, which I like but I pretty much have to because there is nothing else.” She sounded really exasperated.

        “Really?”

        “Yeah. Why did you even come to this nowhere town?”

        “My brother dragged me along. One of his friends is throwing this really big new year’s party and I had to come. Don’t see why, it’s not like there’ll be anyone my age there.”

        “At least you’re going to a party. My parents are going out of town to a party one of my dad’s co-workers is throwing, and they won’t bring me.”

        “That sucks. None of your friends are throwing parties?”

        “My best friend is off with her parents on a cruise. They won’t back until school starts.”

        “That really sucks.” 

        “No duh.” She sighed and her head fell. It was only for a fraction of a second though, before she decided it was her turn to ask a question.

        “So, if you’re not from Ponyville, where are you from?”

        “All over the place really. My brother moves around a lot for his job, so I have to go with him. But right now I spend most of my time in Terasubarre.”

        “Terrasu…, what? I’ve never heard of that place.”

        “Makes sense. It’s the capital of Oka, the Wolf Empire.”

        She looked taken aback. “Wow, really? You live with wolves? What’s that like?”

        I shrugged. “Normal, I guess. I don’t spend a lot of time in Equestria honestly. But you know, there is one big difference I noticed.”

        “What?”

        “The smell. Wolves can smell really well, so everything in their cities has to smell good. Not just that, but every shop and restaurant tries to smell distinct, so that people get curious enough to walk in.”

        “And what, Ponyville smells bad?” She looked like she trying to act insulted, but it was ruined by her small smirk. Still, I felt the need to alleviate her concerns nevertheless.

        “Not bad, it just doesn’t smell. It’s kinda weird honestly, in Oka you can navigate some of the busier districts by smell alone.”

        “Wow,” her eyes were wide, “I can’t even imagine what that’s like. I’ll have to visit someday.”

        “Just make sure you learn the language. Some of those wolves are really stuck up, and refuse to speak in any language other than Okan.”

        “I’ll be sure to do that.”

        By now we were both done eating and I got up to leave.

        “Leaving?” she asked, a little note of disappointment tainting her words.

        “Yeah. I was wondering if you could show me where that bowling alley is.”

        In the span of about a second she sat up in her chair, got a full smile on her face, teeth and everything, brightened considerably, became shocked and embarrassed, I assume due to the sudden realization of what she just did, and leaned back in her chair and tried to play it cool, inspecting her hoof as she told me that it’s not like she had anything else to do.

        In the face of such a display, I gathered up all of my strength, called upon the years of mental and physical training my brothers had put me through, summoned all my self control, and I managed not to laugh!

        What’s so funny?

        Oh, uh, sorry, don’t know how I got up on your table, uh.

        A-hem. Anyways.

        We left the bakery behind and we made some idle chit-chat while we walked. I learned that the reason she looked like she was my age was because she was my age. Also her parents were apparently well-off, but they decided that the one of the bigger cities was no place to raise a child so they moved to this village to give her a quieter upbringing, a fact about which she was greatly annoyed. Overall she struck me as one of those noble’s kids I always run into whenever my brother takes me to court, regardless of what country it is. Kinda stuck-up, a little egotistical, and convinced that things were better everywhere that she wasn’t. Still not really bad, just kinda self-important. I dunno, I liked her. No not like that.

        So naturally we made our way to the bowling alley without incident right? Just a simple trip across town? Ha. I’m never that lucky.

        We were walking along what I think was supposed to be the main street but it was still so small I couldn’t tell, when we walked in front of an alleyway where I could see what looked like the start of a mugging. I stopped in my tracks.

        “So the waterballoon- Huh? Why’d you stop?” Silver Spoon said. She looked down the alleyway and saw the action. She bit her lip briefly, then said, “Come on, let’s go,” in a really quiet voice.

        As I looked, I could make out that it was three ponies, two pegasi and an earth pony, who looked about sixteen or so picking on a little orange earth pony who looked about my age. It was so obviously unfair.

        “Guile? Come on,” she gently tugged my hoodie.

        To make matters worse the foal wasn’t just standing there mewling and whimpering, so I couldn’t just turn my nose up and walk away in disgust. She was actually fighting back, standing her ground and responding to their insults with a few of her own.

        This didn’t involve me. I had no reason to step in. It wasn’t my problem.

        “What’s wrong?” Silver Spoon asked, looking really nervous.

        I sighed. I tried to keep on moving, really I did, but…

        “Nothing, it’s just…,” I sighed again and pulled up my hood. “I really hate my brother.”

        She said something to that, but I couldn’t hear her because I was already heading towards the bullies.

        “Excuse me gents,” I said.

        One of the pegasi, he seemed to be the leader of the bunch turned to face me. “What do you want?”

        “I want to know what you’re doing.”

        “None of your beeswax. Scram,” he started to turn around to go back to harassing the filly.

        “I’m making it my business,” I let a little bit of edge into my voice, made easier by the fact that nothing bothers me more than those who try and swap words with other words that only sound similar so now I had a reason to hate him.

        He became defensive, motioning for his friends to come back him up. “What do you care? What are you, her colt friend?”

        I shot him Shade’s patented look number 3, I can’t do it anywhere near as well as he can, of course, but it got the job done, he and his friends looked unnerved. “As a matter of fact, yes. Yes I am,” I said. I radiated a small bit of bloodlust, and that did the trick.

        He and his friends immediately started apologizing and tripped over themselves as they tried not to run out of the alley. I glared at them until they were gone, and then I immediately turned around and started apologizing to the filly.

        “I’m really, really sorry that I called myself your colt friend, I know it was rude of me but I couldn’t think of anything else that would make them leave as quickly. Sorry,” I said with a bow.

        “I could have dealt with that all on my own!” she said as she marched up to and got in my face. Now that she was closer, I could see why the bullies were picking on her. She wasn’t an earth pony, she was a pegasus. Her wings were just so small, that I couldn’t see them. 

        “Sorry, sorry.” I kept on apologizing, but not bowing because if I had bowed I would’ve headbutted her, until Silver Spoon spoke up.

        “What are you apologizing for?” She walked into the alleyway, glaring at the filly before addressing her, “He just helped you out of a bad spot, you should be thanking him!”

        “I had it all under control!”

        “Yeah, clearly,” Silver Spoon rolled her eyes, “So, what part did you have under control? The part where they were all bigger than you, or the part where you couldn’t get away?”

        “I wasn’t trying to leave!” the filly- Okay look, later I learned her name was Scootaloo so I’m just going to call her that, it’s getting really annoying calling her ‘the filly’- so Scootaloo said that and moved to get all up in Silver Spoon’s face. “You ruined everything!”

        I put up my hoofs, trying to separate the two fillies. “Wait, wait. What did I ruin?”

        “They took my scooter!” she pointed up to a building, and I saw a small, wooden scooter on the roof. I guess one of the pegasi flew it up there. “I was trying to get it back! Now what am I going to do!?”

        Since it was technically my fault that she couldn’t get it down, don’t ask me how but I’m sure it was, I decided that I needed to be the one to bring it back to her and I told her so.

        “Oh, what are you gonna do? Levitate it down?” she said sarcastically, and I didn’t blame her. I wasn’t nearly old enough to have the type of magical power or training to lift something that big from that high up, and she knew that. Good thing I didn’t need it.

        It wasn’t a very wide alley, only around seven or eight feet, and the two buildings on either side were only about two stories high and pretty old. Lots of things jutting out from the side once you got high enough off of the ground.

        I ran up the wall of the house opposite the one with the scooter, and when I felt I couldn’t run up any farther, I jumped across and turned around to grab a part of the house on the other side of the alley. Once I had the hoofhold, It was easy as pie to climb up the roof and retrieve the scooter. I carefully lowered it down to ground, my magic is strong enough to do something like that once I touched the thing and held as far down off the roof as I could, and then jumped down after it, making sure to roll when I hit the ground. When I got up from my roll I noticed, after brushing some snow off my hoodie, two faces looking at me with a mixture of shock and awe. 

        “What?” I asked.

        “That was sooo cool!” Scootaloo said as she ran up in my face again, “How did you do that?!”

        The fact that she was literally about an inch from my face made me a little uncomfortable, so I was really relieved when Silver Spoon shook her shock off and pulled Scootaloo away.

        “There, he got you your dumb scooter back, now are you going to thank him or what?”

        “Thanks!” Scootaloo picked her scooter back up and started checking it over for damage.

        Silver Spoon looked like she wanted a little more, but I nudged her.

        “Come on, let’s get going,” I said.

        Silver Spoon sent a last glare at Scootaloo, now standing on her scooter and giving it a few test rolls, and then started leading the way to the bowling alley again.

        For a couple of minutes we walked in an awkward silence. I would’ve broken it, but I had no idea what to say. Fortunately, Silver Spoon did.

        “You shouldn’t have done that.” She had a weird look on her face.

        “Done what?”

        “You shouldn’t have helped Scootaloo.” This was when I learned her name by the way.

        “Why not?” Personally I could think of a few reasons, but I was curious which one she choose.

        “Because they’ll come back, again and again. You helped her once, but in the long run it makes no difference.”

        That… was actually a very good point. In fact, it was a good point that I had heard many, many times, every time my brothers argue. Which meant I knew exactly what to say in response.

        “It made a difference that time.”

        Silver Spoon mulled this over for about twenty steps or so. “Yeah. I guess you’re right,” she paused for a little bit, before looking at me out of the corner of her eye and saying, “You know,” her voice had changed to be this weird tone of playful, I don’t know what it’s called but mares and stallions seem to use it around Shade a lot. “You looked pretty cool saving her.”

        My blush was back, and I started stammering, “Oh, uh, you really think so?” Yeah, I don’t take compliments well.

        “Mm-hm,” she had this little smile and slowly nodded. “Especially when the big one tried to stare you down.”

        “R-really.”

        “And then those tricks you did to get up to the roof. How did you learn how to do that?” she moved a little bit closer to me, a fact I was very aware of.

        “Oh, uhm funny story actually. You see, one of the ways my brothers like to hide things from me is to put them up in really high places, and over the years I got really good at reaching those high places.” It wasn’t the whole story, but it was enough.

        “Interesting. We’re here.” She suddenly stopped and I noticed that were outside a building with a big sign that had bowling balls and pins on it. “Come on in.”

        Inside we rented our balls, got a lane and played a few rounds. She was really good at it too, almost every frame she had was either a strike or a spare. I fared much worse, bowling not being one of my strong suits. I’m good at throwing things, but I’m a lot worse rolling them. She tried to help me out, which helped a little bit but it was terrible for my self esteem. You see, every time she positioned a part of me, she would touch it for a little longer than I thought was necessary, and it me feel like she thought she needed to make extra sure I didn’t mess it up.

        Still, I had a lot of fun. Silver Spoon was very good company, and I didn’t notice the time passing at all until I looked out a window and saw that the sun was about to set.

        I told her I had to go, and she looked a little sad. I decided I wanted to see her again, so I invited her to the New Year’s party. She said yes, and we arranged that I would get her at nine o’clock on New Year’s eve at the bakery where I found her.

        With all of that settled, I made my way back to the edge of the forest. Silver was there waiting for me he led me into the forest and to the Manor. That’s all that happened until Dinner. Can I get back to my dream now?

> Dinner
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        “Okay, dude, seriously, do you mind?” Odd asked as he made dinner.

        Card tore his eyes away from his book long enough to roll them. He turned to face Odd and took a few over-exaggerated breaths. “That better?” he asked, turning back to his book.

        “It was, but now you’ve stopped again!”

        “Oh, give it a rest,” Tron said as he set the circular table, using his talents to make sure everypony got exactly 51.4 degrees of space. “How are you so bothered by the sound of someone not breathing, anyway?”

        “It’s just not right! Like, how would you feel if you pressed your hoof against something, and you couldn’t feel what it was?” Odd shot a miffed face at his friend before refocusing on the food.

        “Fairly normal, considering how often I wear gloves.”

        Brick Bones moved to stop the conversation before his best friends spent the whole evening sniping at each other. “Odd, are you done yet?”

        “Huh? Oh, yeah. Just send it over.”

        Brick summoned up his shield and levitated it over to Odd. Odd began setting the plates of food and glasses of drink down onto it, but found that he only had enough room to fit six.

        “Yo, Bones.” Odd gestured at the full shield.

        “Oh sorry.” Brick made it a little bigger and Odd was able to fit the last plate onto it.

        “That’s all of them.”

        Brick made a noise signaling that he had heard, and slowly levitated the fully laden shield over to the table. He began putting each item at the place of the pony who had requested it, until he reached a point where he couldn’t tell.

        “Hey Odd?” Brick asked.

        “Yeah?” Odd said as he washed his hooves.

        “Which meat is yours?”

        “The one that’s more red.”

        “Thanks.” He put the red meat at Odd’s place, just between himself and Silver, and placed the slightly charred one at Shade’s place, not quite directly across. “Is that everything?”

        “Yeah,” Tron said, “Call them in.”

        Brick picked up the whistle on the table and put it to his lips. He took in a deep breath and-

        “Wait, wait, wait wait wait!” Odd hastily wiped his hooves and dashed over to the table, picking up the earplugs he had placed on his chair. He put the earplugs in. “Okay, now go.”

        Brick blew the whistle, producing a very loud, high-pitched sound that swept through the open doorways of Everfree Manor, also known as the House of Card.

        “About time,” Shade said as he, Silver, and Guile all appeared in the doorway of the main kitchen, Morrogar gliding over their heads to perch on the back of Shade’s chair.

        There were a couple of minutes of silence, broken only by the sound of silverware scraping against plates, while the six stallions, and one colt, silenced their stomachs. Once their hunger was satisfied, and they were eating purely for pleasure, conversation was once more an option.

        “So Bones, how’s work been?” Tron asked. “Still working the night shift?” 

        “Yep. That’s where all the action is after all,” Brick said. “And it’s not like I have much to do for mosta the day. What about you? Still lecturing?”

        “Yeah. But Doc’s been trying to get me to accept a teaching position. Don’t know if I’ll take it, I really enjoy having so much free time,” Tron said with a smirk.

        “Yeah, I hear you. It’s nice, isn’t it?” 

        “Oh, screw both of you!” Odd said to his best friends, a baleful expression on his face, before turning his attention back to his rare steak.

        “Look on the bright side,” Brick said, “You’ve only got a year and a half left.”

        “Yeah.”

        “Of course, then you have to spend the summer studying for the bar,” Tron pointed out.

        Odd groaned and buried his face in his hooves. “What is wrong with you? What possesed to you put yourself through this hell twice?”

        “I thought we’ve established that I’m a huge masochist?” Tron said jokingly.

        “There’s masochistic and then there’s deranged!”

        “You’re yelling,” Card said quietly.

        “Seriously, did your teachers teach differently or something,” Odd’s voice was rising with each word as he got more excited, His mouth opening wider and wider, revealing his sharp fangs. “Were you getting b-”

        “Silver, if you would?”

        Silver grabbed Odd’s abandoned steak knife, the blade still glistening with the juices of the meat. With one swift motion he plunged it hilt-deep into Odd’s shoulder.

        “Hey!” Odd said in an annoyed tone of voice, cutting off his rant. He turned around to face Silver.

        “Thank you Silver.”

        “You are welcome, my lord,” Silver responded.

        Card looked like he was going to protest Silver calling him that, but decided that it would take more time than it was worth. He went back to his book.

        Odd groaned and looked at the blade in his shoulder. He grabbed the hilt and slowly took it out, blood vessels repairing themselves, cells reattaching as soon as the metal was out of their way. By the time the knife was pulled completely free, all that was left was a minute gash that quickly healed over. “I wasn’t done with this yet!” he said to Silver, gesturing at the half of his steak that remained, sadly, still in one piece. 

        Silver ignored him, returning his attention to his salad. 

        Odd sighed in defeat. “Hey Tron, would you mind?” He gestured with the bloody knife at the kitchen sink.

        Tron took the knife from his friend and, with a swift glance behind him to get the position of the sink, lobbed it in. 

        “Thanks. Steak knives are in the top left, right?” 

        Card nodded.

        Odd unraveled a small amount of his golden chain and cracked it twice, once to open the drawer, and once to take a knife out and pull it to his hoof. With that finished he went back to cutting up his meat.

        The whole time the group had been sitting and eating, Morrogar had been moving. He flew from Shade’s chair, to Silver’s, to Guile’s, to Shade’s, to Guile’s, and Odd finally took notice.

        “That thing is an ADHD,” he muttered.

        Most of the ponies ignored him, but Guile was young, and foolish. “What’s an-”

        Tron’s eyes widened and he began quickly motioning that the colt should shut up, but to no avail.

        “-ADHD?” he asked.

        Odd brightened considerably. “It’s an-”

        “Boooooo,” Tron said.

        “Oh come on, I haven’t even said it yet!”

        Tron sighed. “Fine, go ahead.”

        “It’s an Attention Deficit Hyperactive Dragon!” Odd said this with an unbelievably disproportionate amount of pride.

        Tron groaned and slapped his hoof against his face. “Boooooooooooooooooooooooo.”

        “Oh come on, that one wasn’t so bad,” Brick said.

        “There, you see! Bones thinks I’m funny!”

        Brick didn’t have the heart to correct his friend.

        “So Guile,” Shade said as he fed pieces of his steak to Morrogar with his wing, “Anything interesting happen?”

        “Uhm, actually, yes, uh, I’ve been meaning to tell you about that, actually.” Guile focused his gaze on his food, “You see, uh, when I got hungry, in town I mean, uhm, I found this little bakery and went inside. I met this filly named Silver Spoon and-”

        “Way to go!” Shade slapped Guile on the back, “Not even around mares for a full day and you’ve already got them taking you home!”

        “Wh- what?!” Guile nearly fell off of his chair in shock. “No, no, that’s not what happened at all. We went bowling and then I asked her to come to the New Year’s party, is all.”

        “Good for you,” Silver said to Guile before fixing his sight on Shade. “How could you think Guile would do that with a filly he just met? He respects them far too much to do something like that.”

        Guile decided against responding and just drank his soda.

        “What does respect have to do with it?” Shade asked. “I respect my one-night stands. After all, they were all impressive enough to be deemed worthy of me.” Shade pointed to his chest with his wing and put on a smile that managed to somehow be both arrogant and confused. “Give it a week and Guile’ll’ve had every mare at or around his age in the town.”

        Guile nearly spit out his drink, but caught himself and forced a swallow. “I'm thirteen!” he said to Shade.

        “And I was joking, and now that we're done stating the blindingly obvious you should probably ask Card if it's okay that you've invited another pony to his party.”

        “Yes, it was quite rude of you to not ask permission of the one whose party it is,” Silver said. 

        Guile groaned, knowing that he would be punished in some way for it later. “So, Dr. Card, do you mind?”

        Card made a noise in the negative.

        “Oh good, because I’m bringing along a couple of ponies too,” Shade said. “This mare, Rarity, and her little sister.”

        “And I invited that family Bones’s friends with,” Odd said. “Thought he would enjoy celebrating with them, considering how long it’s been.”

        “Well that was really good of you, Odd,” Brick said in his quiet way.

        Tron scoffed. “Yeah, sure. I can think of five other reasons. Green eyes, ponytail, nice legs, freckles, and even a cute little drawl.”

        “Hey,” Odd said in protest, “I would’ve done it even if Applejack wasn’t one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen.”

        “You know, she’s pretty much my little sister. Am I obligated to kill him now?” Brick mused.

        “Please!” Shade said, a little over-eagerly.

        Silver swatted at him. “No.”

        “Wait, when did you meet Applejack?” Odd asked Tron.

        “Card gave me a call a while back and she was there. Speaking of which, Doc isn’t going to be able to make it back for New Year’s, so I invited Mrs. Whooves and Dinky over.”

        Card gave an exasperated sigh, but still didn’t protest or take his eyes off the book.

        “Oh yeah, I forgot you went to go visit them. How was it?” Odd asked.

        “Pretty standard, you know the drill. Hugs, catching up, all that stuff. The oven was broken, and she let me fix it. It only took me half an hour.”

        Odd grinned cheekily. “At the end of which it could reach one thousand degrees, only used half of the energy it used too, and had an attached automatic shotgun, machine gun turret, and seven layers of heavy artillery, I’m sure.”

         Tron rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Oh please, I do have some restraint.”

        “So, what, you kept it to three layers?” 

        Tron paused for a moment and then furiously finished off his food, waiting for the blood to leave his cheeks. 

        “I really hope you fixed that,” Brick said.

        “Of course I did. It’s not like I put that all there intentionally.”

        “I would hate to see what you would make if you were trying to make a deadly washing machine,” Odd said.

        “Well I would probably attach a cannon, maybe install a…” Tron trailed off into mutters, his eyes focusing on a blank spot of the table as he slowly started to spin Odd’s steak knife around in his hoof.

        “Tron, if you start carving blueprints into my table, I will throw you in the dungeon,” Card said.
 
        Tron noticed what he was doing and put the knife down.

        “Okay, is everyone done?” Card asked.

        The rest all made noises of affirmation.

        “Okay, great. You,” he gestured at Guile, Shade, and Silver, “Clean up.”

        “Of course, my lord.” Silver got up and started moving dishes to the sink.

        “Wait, you were able to put my charm on everything else in this place, but you missed the dishes?” Shade asked, not moving from his seat.

        “Well, if I put it on the dishes, and they go back into the cupboard, what do you think happens to all of the food that’s on them,” Card condescended at Shade.

        Shade began putting all of the dishes away along with Silver.

        When that was finished, Card brought them all into the living room.

        “Now, did I tell you all the rules?” he asked.

        “Yes,” Silver answered. “Don’t go into any door that doesn’t open on the first try. Don’t tear up the tape connecting the rooms. If we get lost, it’s our faults and you’ll come get us when you feel like it. Our rooms have our marks on them.”

        “Very good, Silver.” Card nodded in approval. “However!” he suddenly burst out as he rushed behind the couch, the very same couch that held the convulsing Rainbow Dash. He stretched his forelegs out in front of him in a protective manner. “There is still one very important rule left! There is to be no sex, on this couch. I really like it, and I don’t want it messed up.” With that, Card leapt over the couch and walked off to his room.

        “...Well, I’m heading to bed,” Odd said.

        “Yeah, me too,” Brick said.

        “I think I’ll check out the lab he said was in my room,” Tron said.

        With that, the three of them left.

        Guile tried to speak, “You know what, I think I should-”

        “Training,” Silver and Shade said in unison, Silver pulling out a map and heading down the path to the training room with Shade close behind.

        Guile sighed and followed them, readying himself for whatever punishment his brother had planned on top of his usual ninety minute workout.

> Beginning of the End of the Beginning
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Celestia was bored. This on its own was not an unusual phenomenon. After all, Celestia had to spend most of her time listening to ponies complain, managing the domestic budget, and resolving quarrels, none of which were particularly exciting. Boring as those activities were however, it was still a form of boring she could deal with. At least they gave her something to do. That was not the case this time. No, this was a boredom sprung, not from tedium, but from inactivity.

        This inactivity was really not surprising given the circumstances. It was New Year’s Eve, and she had given all of the staff the night off to celebrate with their friends and loved ones. A kind gesture to be sure, and one she certainly did not regret, but it had left her with precious little to do. Celestia had never been very good at amusing herself, a weakness that she cursed frequently, especially with no one else in the castle to play with.

        Well, the castle was not completely deserted, Luna was still around. However, as much as Celestia adored her sister, the two of them had wildly differing opinions on what could be considered ‘fun’. Luna was perfectly happy to lay in her bed and think to herself, a prospect Celestia shuddered at.

        Such was how it came to pass that Celestia was wandering the halls of her own castle, trying to think of something to do. I could go through the statue garden. No, that would still just be me walking around alone, only colder. Celestia sighed. How did Twilight deal with this? she wondered, remembering all of the times she had found her apprentice wandering around alone with her nose in a book. Wait…, Celestia remembered that the last couple of letters Twilight had sent had mentioned that she was going to a New Year’s party. A party that was being hosted by her dear nephew, no less.

        Well, surely they won’t mind me popping in for a little bit. Celestia smiled, and with a bright flash of light, teleported to the outskirts of the Everfree forest.




-----Meanwhile, at the Party-----
-----(30 Minutes to Midnight)-----




        “See Twilight,” Trixie said as she gulped down the last of her hay fries. “Aren’t you glad that I convinced you to try one of those?”

        Twilight smiled a little bit and finished off the grilled vegetable skewer she was levitating, her fourth one of the night. “Yeah, you were right. These are really good. Thanks.”

        “No problem. Besides, what kind of friend would I be if I let you only eat those tiny little hay sandwiches all night while you neglected all of the rest of this?” Trixie swept her free hoof across the two tables that were placed against the wall, loaded with fried potatoes, fried carrots, puddings of all flavors, raw veggies, those delicious grilled skewers, and small bite-sized hay sandwiches.

        Twilight made a noise of agreement as she tossed the bare wooden skewer into the garbage. “Well, I’m stuffed. You?” she asked.

        “Yeah, same here.” Trixie threw her plate into the can as well. “You wanna play something?”

        “Maybe.” The two mares headed towards the part of the large room where a pool table and a ping-pong table were set up, right next to a large television that the teenagers were watching a movie on.

        “So, you up for ping-pong?” Trixie asked as she grabbed a paddle off of the table, along with the ball.

        “Sure.” Twilight picked up a paddle of her own. “One question though.”

        “Go ahead.”

        “What exactly is this game?” Twilight looked at her paddle quizzically. 

        “Oh, it’s really simple.” Trixie gave Twilight a quick run-down of the rules, and the two started playing.

        Twilight’s inexperience quickly made itself known, her wild swings either missing the ball completely or making the ball miss the table more often than hitting it. Still, she kept a fairly good humor about the whole thing, aided by the fact that Trixie wasn’t much better, laughing off each failed shot before using her magic to bring the ball back to her. Then she heard a squeaky little voice.

        “Come on Twon, show me the twick!” exclaimed Dinky as she walked over to the pool table, dragging Polar Neutron behind her. Well, attempting to drag; it’s rather hard to drag a pony that’s nearly four times your size and age.

        “No, no, Dinky, come on, I’m talking to your dad,” Tron said. He shot a pleading look at Dr. Whooves, who was watching the whole thing with an air of faint amusement next to his wife.

        “Oh no, don’t worry. I can wait for a little while. You go have fun!”

        Tron made a noise of annoyed desperation, before turning to face Dinky. “Fine,” he sighed, running his hooves through his hair. “But just one trick, okay?”

        “Okay!” said the overjoyed little unicorn. Tron shook his head and began setting up at the pool table.

        “Twilight? Twilight!” Trixie clapped her hooves in Twilight’s face.

        “Huh? Wha-?” Twilight said as she tore her gaze away from Tron.

        “Your serve,” Trixie said with an amused expression on face, knowing exactly what had captured the attention of her friend. “Or would you rather pause a little while to watch his trick?”

        Twilight blushed. “O- uh, n-” Fortunately she was saved from much embarrassment by a knock at the door.

        Silver opened the door, and in came Princess Celestia, completely bare of her royal regalia. Surprisingly, almost no one took notice of her. She walked over to Twilight.

        “Hello Twilight, Trixie. How are you this evening?” she asked.

        Twilight let out a small sigh of relief, “I’m fine thanks. Uh, Princess, what are you doing here?”

        “I decided to come and check up on my dear little student, see how she’s been doing.”

        “I think I’ll leave you two to catch up a little.” Trixie wandered off to go find Card.

        “I’ve been fine.” As she spoke, Twilight’s eyes kept on flickering towards Tron as he got ready to take his trick shot, his eyes locked and dead focused, an air of absolute confidence around him.

        Celestia noticed this, and turned to look at what was making her student fidget like that. When she saw that it was a stallion, she grinned. Then she noticed who the stallion was.

        Tron took his shot, bouncing the cue ball over the eight ball, making it hit the backside of the eight ball on the way down, sending it into the corner pocket.

        “There, now can I get back to talking?” Tron asked Dinky.

        “Again!”

        Doctor Whooves finally intervened, placing a hoof onto Dinky’s head. “Come on, sweetheart, he did what you asked. Now leave him be for a little while.”

        Dinky pouted. “Don’t wanna.”

        Celestia choose this moment to break into the conversation.

        “Hello, Dr. Whooves I must say I didn’t expect to see you here.”

        “Yeah, well, I came into some free time so I came home early and found out that Tron invited us here.”

        “Oh?”

        “I heard my name, what’s going on?” Tron came over to the conversation.

        “Oh, perfect, just the stallion I was hoping to speak with.” Celestia’s grin grew wider.

        “Oh no.”

        Celestia ignored him. “Twilight, would you mind coming here?”

        Twilight nodded and began walking, only to freeze when she saw that Celestia was standing next to Tron. She shakily began walking again. “Y-y-yes?” she asked quietly.

        “Dr. Whooves, if memory serves me correctly, you wished to find a teaching position for Tron, correct?”

        “Oh yes.”

        “Well, I would like to offer Tron a position as Twilight’s personal magic tutor.”

        “What?!” Tron and Twilight shouted.

        “Oh, that would work out brilliantly!” Dr. Whooves said.

        “What? Why?” Twilight asked. Is Celestia sick of teaching me? Is she just giving me off to someone else? What’s happening? she thought.

        “It has recently come to my attention that I have taught you all that I could while still maintaining my other duties. As such, I believe that it would be best for you to have a proper teacher to help you where I can not.”

        “How?” Twilight made a confused gesture at Tron, specifically at his wings.

        “I assure you, Dr. Neutron is quite qualified to instruct you in magic, despite his lack of ability to channel it himself.”

        “What if I don’t want to?” Tron said.

        Twilight felt a soft pang in her chest. Why wouldn’t he want to?

        “I insist. I believe that you would be the best possible choice.” Celestia smiled at Tron in such a way as to make it clear that she wasn’t giving him a choice in the matter.

        Tron sighed in defeat.

        “Well that’s that settled then! We can work out the details later, right now I must go find my dear nephew. So long.” With that Celestia went looking for Card, leaving a stunned Twilight in her wake.

        “So, I guess you’re going to be my student. Twilight, right?” Tron asked.

        Twilight tried to respond, but in the face of looking directly into Tron’s, well, face, she found that her mind refused to work long enough to string together a response.

        Tron sighed. “Oh great, now I’m going to have to move again. I just finished unpacking.”

        “You’re taking this well,” Dr. Whooves said in surprise.

        “I’m tiiirrred,” Tron whined. “I’ll be more pissed off in the morning.”

        “Tron!” Ditzy said sharply, pointing at Dinky.

        “Sorry, sorry.”
> Middle of the End of the Beginning
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        I hate being the third wheel. It’s so awkward and it just makes me all kinds of jittery. So, when Celestia came in to the party and interrupted Twilight and I’s game, I quickly excused myself. It wasn’t until I was at the food table, looking over what was left of the snacks and trying to avoid eating out of boredom that I realized that I didn’t have anything to do. It was still a good fifteen minutes to midnight, and I was left with nobody to kill the time with.

        I scanned around the room, looking for something to entertain me. The foals were still watching their movie, but it was so close to the end that I didn’t feel like just jumping in. Applejack was talking with her brother about something, a green earth pony and a massive red unicorn had taken over the ping-pong table, and Rarity and her date had disappeared for reasons I don’t want to think too hard about. I tried to find Card, but he wasn’t anywhere in the room.

        Suddenly, I felt a poke on my leg. I looked down and I saw Ike, the adorable little fluff thing that Card kept around as a pet. 

        “Hello little guy. I don’t suppose you know where Card is?” I asked, bending down to make eye contact. 

        I wasn’t expecting a response, but he surprised me. Ike nodded furiously and started motioning for me to follow him. Given that my options were following or being a miserable little wallflower, I went after him. 

        He lead me down a hall and I could hear Card speaking.

        “Okay, what about this one?”

        “Hmm… Cherry, lemon, vanilla, and… strawberry?” I heard Pinkie Pie say, which really threw me for a loop, but I guess probably shouldn’t have. 

        I went further down the hall and came across an open doorway where I could see Card and Pinkie sitting at a table, along with numerous empty glasses.

        “Bingo,” Card said. “You’re really good at this.”

        “Thank you! These are really, really good! Can you please make me another one?” Pinkie said.

        “I wish I could, but I think Trixie wants to talk with me.” Card pointed at where I stood. I awkwardly waved. “I’ll see you at the fireworks show.”

        “Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie left. Card’s eyes lingered on the doorway, a slight smile on his face.

        I walked in and took the seat she had occupied.

        “What was that all about?” I asked.

        “Pie said that she could tell what was in a drink just by taste. So, I mixed a few up and tested that out.” 

        “Where did you learn how to mix drinks?”

        “When I was in college, I worked as a bartender at a nightclub.”

        “Wasn’t that terrible for your sleep schedule?”

        “College was terrible for my sleep schedule. Do you want one?” he gestured at the empty glasses.

        “Nah, I’m good.”

        He shrugged. “Suit yourself.” He gathered up all the glasses and took them over to the sink. That’s when I noticed.

        I guess that when he was mixing drinks, he rolled up his sleeves. He hadn’t rolled them down when I came in, and that let me get a clear look at his forelegs. Forelegs that were covered in bite marks. 

        I was so stunned by this that I didn’t even notice that he had sat down until he asked me what was wrong.

        “What are those?” I asked quietly.

        He looked down in surprise, his eyes widened as he realized what I saw. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, rolling down his sleeves.

        That’s what did it for me. I had had enough of him hiding things from me. I grabbed one of his forelegs before he could roll his sleeve all the way down. 

        “No. Look, you don’t want to tell me you’re royalty, fine. You don’t want to explain how you have a house with moving rooms in the middle of one of the most dangerous places in the kingdom, okay, I’ll respect that. But Card, I am your friend. I can’t see your legs covered with bite marks that could only have been self-inflicted and just not worry!” I yelled the last part. I looked him in the eyes. I expected to see anger, or regret, or something, not…

        Hhhhhhhhhh.

        There was a spark. In his eyes, I mean. A flicker of emotion while I was yelling, I know there was. But it was just there for an instant before it vanished. His face became a picture of emptiness, his every feature motionless. I dropped his hoof in surprise.

        Just as quickly as it appeared, it vanished. He blinked quickly and shook it off. Then he sighed, and looked at me. Now I could see a shade of emotion in his eyes, though I couldn’t quite place it.

        “You and Twinkly are my best friends. I wish I could tell both of you everything right now, really, but it’s too dangerous right now.” He sighed again. “Soon, I promise. Soon I’ll tell you both everything. But for now, please don’t worry about this,” he gestured at his foreleg. “I promise you it’s not for whatever reason you think it is.”

        I nodded. What else could I have done?

        Card smiled widely, instantly switching from the empty-eyed stallion back to the one I work with and play with. The switch was so fast that it almost bothered me as much as his bite marks.

        “Now come on,” he said with a point towards the clock reading 11:55. “Fireworks are starting soon, let’s go.”
> End o- Oh You Get The Point
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        The party had moved outside of the manor into a large clearing where there were no tree branches that could possibly get in the way of the view. Everypony had settled down in their groups, laying back to get the best possible view of the show. Everypony, that is, except for Card.

        Card was jittering about, pacing back and forth next to Trixie and Twilight, who had managed to ask Celestia to let her sit alone with her friends, a request the Princess was all to happy to grant.

        “I can’t believe you set up a fireworks show!” Twilight said. “How did you pull that off?”

        “I didn’t, Tron, Odd, and Brick did,” Card said, still pacing as he cast his gaze around.

        “What are you so nervous about?” Trixie asked.

        “Nothing.”

        “It’s not nothing, I’ve never seen you like this.”

        “C’mon Card, just settle down and watch the show,” Twilight said. “When did you say it would be starting?”

        “11:59,” Card said. He stopped moving and sat down next to his friends. However, even though he had stopped pacing, his limbs were still twitchy. Before either of his friends could question him, the show started, distracting them with the pretty lights and loud noises of the fireworks. They were so held by the display that they didn’t notice Card getting up.

        Card set his shoulders, and focused his eyes. He began to walk towards his destination when suddenly, everything stopped.

        The fireworks froze in place, the grass he was stepping on stopped bending beneath his hooves, the ponies who were in the clearing with him suddenly froze in all their activity. Even Card, though he was aware of the sudden freeze, found himself unable to move as the time-locked air refused to give way to his limbs.

        Despite this sudden, jarring stoppage, he did not panic. After all, there was only one being who was so busy that the only way he could find the time to wish his son a happy New Year’s was by making the whole thing stop.

        “Hello son!” Solaris said as he emerged from his teleport, a faint glow covering his body as the air molecules that were blocking his path were sent into subspace until they reappeared when he got out of the space they were trying to occupy.

        Card moved his eyes to look at him.

        “Oh right.” Solaris’s horn lit up briefly as he teleported all of the air molecules that were constraining Card away.

        “Could you have maybe chosen a better time?” Card asked, his gaze flitting over to his destination.

        “Sorry, you know how busy it gets at year’s end. Happy New Year’s!” said the King.

        Card let out a sigh, shaking his head as he walked over to embrace his father. “Happy New Year’s. Although, you’re off by about 40 seconds.”

        Solaris waved it off. “In some parts of this kingdom it’s been 2534 for a couple hours now,” he sat down on the unbending grass and faced the frozen fireworks, motioning for his son to take a seat next to him.

        “So, how you feeling?”

        Card thought this over for a little. “Right now? A little nervous honestly.”

        “Oh? Anything you feel like telling me about?”

        “Not really. Personal.”

        Solaris made a sound of acknowledgment. The pair gazed at the hanging lights as they contemplated what to say. 

        “Just think, it's only a few more hours before you’re going to have to start-”

        “Ahhdadadatatata,” Card covered his ears. “I don’t want to think about it.”

        Solaris chuckled. “You think you’ll be staying here?” he said with jerk in the direction of the manor.

        “Yeah,” Card looked at Twilight and Trixie, with their look of awe still frozen in place. “I like it here.”

        “Really?” Solaris’s voice took on a hint of concern. “You’re sure it’s not too much?”

        “Yes!” Card playfully glared at his dad. “It was a little rough for the first few weeks but I got used to it pretty quickly.”

        “Glad to hear you’ve been having fun,” Solaris cast his gaze over the group of ponies. “Wait, what’s Tia doing here?”

        “I think she just got bored at the castle or something.”

        “Yeah, that sounds like her alright.”

        “Has she always been that impulsive?”

        “Oh, you do not have the right to call people impulsive. Remind me again what happened at the museum?”

        “Point taken. Still though?”

        Solaris sighed wistfully as he gazed at the eldest of his younger siblings. “Worse actually. She used to be a real airhead.”

        “Really?”

        “Oh yes, completely. One time she was trying to change the color of a tree, but she was even worse at magic then than she is now if you can believe that, and she ended up turning it into stone.”

        “That’s not so bad.”

        “And then, because she was so convinced that her spell had worked because the tree was now gray, she went on trying it out on every tree on the palace grounds. When I found her she was close to tears in frustration because she couldn’t understand why her spell could only make the trees turn that one color, and she had petrified over three-quarters of the arboretum.”

        “Wow. How did you get her to stop?”

        “I got Noc-Noc to cast an illusion over the trees so that it looked like they were changing to the color she wanted, and eventually she got bored and left. I punished her later by making her do Noc-Noc’s chores for a year.”

        “You didn’t have her fix the trees?”

        Solaris shuddered. “Can you imagine what Celestia could have done to those trees if she tried to fix them? No, I got a friend of mine to take care of that.”

        Card chuckled. All of his nervousness had left his body by this point, a fact that his father took notice of.

        “Well, I’ve got to get back to work,” Solaris said as he started teleporting back in all of the air he had removed to allow Card to move around. “Enjoy the last few hours of your vacation,” Solaris hugged his son goodbye and teleported out, canceling the spell.

        The fireworks started crackling again, and the grass gave way. Card took a deep breath and remembered his objective. He headed over to the edge of the clearing, where Pinkie Pie was sitting alone watching the fireworks with a teeth-baring grin on her face. He sat down next to the pink mare with a mumble of greeting as the fireworks began counting down, a great booming voice accompanying the numbers that appeared in the sky.

        
Ten!


        Pinkie Pie looked over to Card, her grin softening into a more genuine smile as she lingered on him before her attention went back to the fireworks.

        
Nine!


        Card smiled back, his mind suddenly racing.

        
Eight!


        Should I? Shouldn’t I? You two shut up!

        
Seven!


        His gaze darted around the field, as he took another deep, unnecessary, breath to calm down.

        
Six!


        He started fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket.

        
Five!


        He reached in and took out a coin.


Four!


        Heads I do, Tails I don’t.


Three!


        He shut his sense off as best he could from those particular possibilities and tossed it up into the air.


Two!


        He was so focused on not focusing on the coin that he didn’t notice Pinkie Pie turning his way until she grabbed him by his lapel.


One!


        Pinkie pulled his head closer to her, pressing her lips firmly against his.


Happy New Years!


        Cherries. Interesting. Card then stopped thinking and focused on returning the kiss he was enjoying so much.

        Tails.
> Epilogue
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

        *Tick-Tock* *Tick-Tock*

        Card sat in his home office, glaring at the incessantly ticking clock with no small degree of trepidation. Awaiting the inevitable chime, the sound that would put an end to his relaxation. His legs were fidgeting, for the seventh time he picked up one of the many official pens on his desk only to put it back down again. 

        He was severely regretting letting all of his subordinates go off to escort their friends home after the party as it left him without any source of distraction from the inevitability of what was to come. He was regretting not accepting Pie’s offer of sticking around for a little while after he took her home even more, though that would have distracted him for much longer than he was willing to allow, wanting to be finished with the whole business as quickly as possible. 

        *Tick-Tock* *Tick-Tock*

        He briefly considered doing something about that ticking noise. Now, I would hate to leave the readers with any impression that just because Card is nervous means he suddenly becomes rational. His ideas were:

        -Turn the clock into a slice of watermelon

        -Cover the clock with a blanket

        -Turn the clock into a blanket

        -Turn his blanket into a watermelon

        -Turn his chair into a watermelon

        -Become a watermelon (This one he quickly discarded upon realizing that there would be no way to eat himself, and either way the process was bound to be unpleasant.)

        -Get some watermelon

        -Set the clock on fire

        -Cover the clock with a watermelon

        -Watermelon (Not the word mind you, just a picture of a watermelon)

        -Make the clock dispense a lop of soft-serve into his mouth with every tick and sprinkles with every tock

        -Forgo the sprinkles

        -Go to the kitchen and get some food

        -Make Ike go to the kitchen and get some food

        -Certain acts that I cannot repeat here without changing the stories rating

        -Purple

        He decided to enact the plan to go to the kitchen, ignoring the part of his brain that was against all forms of physical exertion. When he got to the kitchen, he discovered that Odd had made it home.

        For the sake of sparing your sanity, dear reader, I will not describe what an Audacity Midnight Binge, copyright 2532, looks like. However, the mere fact that Card was able to go into one, head first, and not only remained in possession of all his limbs, but follow through with his plan to eat in the midst of such… feasting, should give you some idea of his level of physical restraint.

        After he finished his nearly-hour-past-midnight snack, and made a note to take the cost of three plates, seven forks, five spoons, and a new end table out of Odd’s salary, he made his way back to his study.

        Upon re-entering however, he was treated to the realization that his plan had, in fact, done nothing to stop the clock’s ticking.

        He decided that there was only one rational thing to do. He would later decide that perhaps he should have done that instead as he tried to convince the blast marks to remove themselves from his wall. Also, if they could perhaps take the annoying ticking clock that was on the wall attached to theirs with them, then that would be lovely.

        As he was in the middle of arguing, very calmly mind you, with the inanimate streaks of dust, he came upon a revelation. He was so focused that he could no longer hear the ticking.

        This moment instantly turned bittersweet as his lapse in focus made him aware of the noise again, this time seemingly even louder, as though it was offended at being ignored. This is, of course, impossible as sound is a mindless movement of particles, and shame on you for forcing your views on how a substance should act based solely on your own personal feelings! Next you’ll be trying to force it to vote.

        I feel that I would be remiss in my duties if I did not inform you that while I was chewing you out, Card was still planning ways out of his predicament. He began to start his next plan, which I unfortunately can not relay to you in full, rest assured that it did involve a watermelon along with: an octopus, a nail gun, and a triangle, because he did not have time to enact it. One o’clock a.m. had come, the time that Card was so dreading.

        He braced himself and closed one eye, torn between not wishing to look upon it and knowing that he must eventually so he might as well get it over with. 

        The office filled with sounds akin to multiple bags of popcorn all going off at once as stacks upon stacks of paper appeared, teleported to him from all over the kingdom. Card flinched with each pop, for each one symbolized more time he would have to dedicate to work. Gradually the sounds stopped. Card went to his desk, grabbed the first sheet that was within reached and picked up his pen.

        As he looked over the request to redirect some of the incoming boats of an island that didn’t have enough ports for the massive amount of trade that took place on it, he was forced to admit to himself that his six-month long vacation was over. It was time for him to get back to being the Crown Prince.

        Faced with this, Card could only allow himself to utter one word before throwing himself into his work. But what a word. Contained within it was all of his rage, his sorrow, and his weary resignation to the role that he must play.

        “Fuck.”