Bumbaclot's Adventure V - The Lost Chocolate Milk Bottle

by Feefle

Story

The adventures of Bumbaclot V - The Lost Chocolate Milk Bottle by Feefle

One day, Bumbaclot was sitting under a bench somehow. He glanced around like a
frightened animal in a slaughterhouse, looking at all the strange and wonderful
things. He noticed a little poner sipping from a cup of water.

"Hey poner, don't you wish you were drinking something better than water?" asked
Bumbaclot. "Why yes, I would rather be drinking chucolate milk." replied the tiny
poner. "Well then, let's go buy some chocorate milk!" yelled Bumbaclot, causing the
tiny poner to go flying off into the distance smacking into a tree face first.

Bumbaclot and the tiny poner began their journey towards the chololate milk store.
Bumbaclot thought to himself "I really hope this doesn't end up being a really big
adventure that ends up wasting the reader's time." The tiny poner stared at him with
glee. "Weeeeeee we gonna go to the koacolate milk store and geeeeet chucocolate
meeeeeeeellllllkkkkkkk!" screamed the tiny poner. "Tiny poner, be quiet" Bumbaclot
smacked her with an old potato chip bag. "Aaaaaah the scent of expired potato chips!"
she yelled.

Bumbaclot and the tiny poner approached the chacilate milk store. They entered the
establishment by breaking down the doors that clearly said "Pull". Bumbaclot tried to
push them open but got so angry that he performed the action that was just
mentioned at the start of this paragraph thing. They looked around and did not see
a single bottle with bogolate milk in it. Instead, all they could see was a bunch
of empty boxing gloves.

"Hey what's the deal? Where's my chocolaitte milk?" asked the tiny poner with
great disbelief and judgement clouding anger. Bumbaclot slapped himself in
the face with a brand new sugar cone he found in a box under his shirt.

The store clerk approached our characters until his head was pressing against
Bumbaclot's face. "We outta chickyloteh milk bro." said the clerk as he pushed
Bumbaclot onto the floor, eating his shirt like an unintelligent animal from the
prehistoric age.

"What happened to all the chalk late milk?" asked the tiny poner as she was signing
the declaration of independence day on a desk near five o'clock's dinner plate.
"The lost chumplet milk got lost again. We need that magical thing to make more
chocoloco milk." replied the clerk as he slurped up the last of Bumbaclot's shirt.

"How did it get lost again? From your incompetence or what?" asked Bumbaclot.
"Those chuckenlite milk activists sneaked in at night and took it. They believe that the
lost chokelopse milk should remain "lost" like nature intended." replied the clerk
farting out Bumbaclot's shirt.

"HEY EVERYBODY ISN'T THIS A SURPRISE? IT'S TRIXIE! WOW LOOK AT ME!"
Trixie came in shouting exactly what you just read now. Bumbaclot and the
other nameless characters stared at her with great discomfort and fear
in their eyes.

Trixie then licked the empty boxing gloves, thinking they were chinkloshe milk bottles. She
smacked her lips and said "Hmmmmmmmmmm, this does not taste like a bottle
containing chumppo milk. Not at all. Trixie is disappointed." She proceeded to kick
herself in the head over and over. She was wearing steel horseshoes by the way.

Bumbaclot kissed Trixie's hair that was filled with oregano pudding and ketchup
powder. "I see that this champ pot milk shortage is a global problem. Do you know
where we can find these activists?" asked Bumbaclot. "Well, they're pretty much right
next door to us." replied the clerk. "They keep partying all night listening to
themselves burp in each other's faces."

Bumbaclot, the tiny poner, and Trixie tossed each other outside and looked at the
activists' building. The building started talking to them. It said "I heard what you guys
were talking about next door. You want to know where the activists hid the lost
chimpanzoo milk bottle don't you?" "Why yes, can you tell us where it is?" asked the
tiny poner as she began digging her own grave. "Well, it wouldn't be called the "lost"
clormpoof milk bottle if it wasn't lost now would it, you silly corncob?" replied the
building in anguish.

"Just tell us where it is or we'll take your lunch money." yelled Bumbaclot.
"Okay it's over there." pointed the building. Bumbaclot and friends looked in the
direction of where the building was pointing. It was Pinkie Pie's mosquito house.
"Oh hishkabob it's Henry Hooper's crazy hoosenheimer house." muttered Trixie.

Bumbaclot grabbed the tiny poner's tail and threw her into Pinkie Pie's place, knocking
the door down that said "Throw pony to enter". Trixie soon followed. However,
Bumbaclot accidentally released her tail too early and she ended up crashing into a
brick wall. Everyone in the entire world burst out laughing. Bumbaclot just stood there
in silent bliss, smiling on the inside.

Bumbaclot entered the house and looked around. All he could see was a waist-deep
pool of vanilla milk on the floor. He was astounded that the milk didn't pour out
through the doorway when it was opened. He could tell it was vanilla milk simply by
the smell and the sounds the liquid made.

"Well, this sure ain't choaklate milk." cried the tiny poner. Trixie stumbled into Pinkie
Pie's house like a poor homeless child who drank too much 99 proof moonshine.
She crashed into Bumbaclot and that turned all the vanilla milk into cheeklot milk.
"Wow that did the trick. Now this place is tolerable to stay in. But where's the lost
chanklocke milk bottle?" asked Bumbaclot.

Pinkie Pie appeared from the pool of cow juice and shouted "RIGHT HEURRRE!"
This startled the tiny poner, it caused her to turn into a watermelon seed.
"Now look what you've done Pinkie Pie, you scared her into a fruit seed." yelled
Bumbaclot with the uttermost dishonest anger.

Suddenly, Trixie noticed the little watermelon seed was slurping up all the chuntlate
milk it was swimming in. "Abloo a blooo bloo blooo!" Trixie jumped violently in circles.
She jumped around for a while, then finally hit her head against the ceiling, knocking
her out cold in a very salty fashion.

Bumbaclot grabbed the lost bottle from Pinkie Pie's grasp, smacked her in the head
with it (Which made a satisfying "DIIIING" noise), tripped her and took the bottle back
to the chocolate milk store, dragging Trixie's unconscious body with him. The tiny
poner watermelon seed rolled after our hero.

Bumbaclot handed the bottle over to the chokeloate milk store clerk. "Here's your
bottle. Don't ever let those activists steal it again. Put a sign up or something."
The clerk put up a sign saying "Don't steal or we'll kill you". No one ever stole from
the store again.

The End

Comments

[Desrium]

What the rassclot bull-a shit nonsense was this? Bumbaclot!

That was a nice moment of mindless fun. What made you choose the name Bumbaclot though?

[Vetnern]

assets.diylol.com/hfs/89d/620/4f7/resized/grandma-finds-the-internet-meme-generator-ah-i-see-d0fd73.jpg

[OkropnyPisarz]

troll.me/images/obama-isnt-happy/not-this-shit-again.jpg

[ZXZXZXZXZXZX]

Best troll story ever. 10/10 would bang.

[Roudee]

And... one year later I showed up and read one of the finest stories ever to be submitted to a slightly-but-not-entirely-obscure website. In the words of the great and terrible Shogukenlee "There is nothing to berate the word."