“‘Reckon you and Fluttershy can start at the top of the wall, R.D?”
“Got it. Let’s go, Fluttershy. Grab the bucket, I get the brush!”
“Oh. Okay.” Fluttershy trotted over to grab the smallest of the buckets of paint arrayed by the barn’s southern wall. Out of the corner of her eye, Pinkie Pie saw Applejack nodding and rounding on the two remaining ponies. The only real reason she noticed was that she happened to be one of those ponies; she herself was rather preoccupied. The object of her attention was just too shiny to look away.
“The rest of us start from down here. Pinkie and I can begin at the bottom. Rarity, you do the detail-work if you fancy. I was gonna have Twi cover the bits too high for us to reach and get Fluttershy and Rainbow to start on the roof, but I don’t see her nowhere here.”
Rarity frowned and joined Applejack in looking to the horizon. The road was clear all the way to Ponyville, not that Pinkie was really looking. The earth mare kept on watching something completely different. It was funny, really. It rose to hang high in the sky every day, but still she felt she could stare for hours. It reminded her a little bit of the time she’d realized how fantastic punch ladles really were, even though she’d used them for hundreds of parties before that point.
“I've no idea what may be keeping her, sorry,” Rarity said, eyeing the paint and the tools critically. “Now, this will wash off, yes? I do so detest stains, but if this necessitates a bath, so be it.”
Applejack sighed. “Rarity? We’re painting a barn. It’s not exactly gonna be watercolors or foals’ paints now is it?”
“Oh. Ah. Well, I may have to head by to Boutique and change into something more, well. Protective.”
“Just stick to doing the corners and you’ll be fine, sugar. If you get it on ya, it’s ‘cause you spilt it yourself.” Applejack smirked. “‘Course, if you think you’ll be sloppy, you go get your painting galoshes.”
Rarity glowered. “If this ends with me in an emergency spa session, I’m sending you the bill.”
“You do that,” Applejack chuckled when Rarity finally broke into a smile. “Seriously, I’m mighty grateful y’all came to help me out. Let’s get to work, Pinkie. Uh. Pinkie Pie? Fancy painting a barn with me? Hello?”
Pinkie finally gave up her little staring contest and turned towards the voice. It didn’t help a whole lot. The world was still deliciously and painfully bright, and somepony had replaced Applejack with a bright glowing blob. As she focused, the blob slowly morphed and settled as a proper, Applejack-shaped—albeit frowning—pony.
“You alright there sugarcube? You’ve been starin’ up into the sky for minutes, now.”
“Sure! I was just looking at the sun. That’s where it lives during the day.”
“Couldn’t help but notice even if I tried. Starin’, just like parents tell their foals not to. What’s the matter?”
Pinkie Pie stuck her tongue out at an angle and chewed it while thinking. “I don’t think anything’s the matter, really. Everything’s a-okay and getting even better! Where’s Twilight?”
Applejack cast another glance at the raw and unpainted barn as if there were answers to be found in the woodwork itself. “I’ve been wondering the same myself. We best just get started.”
Pinkie Pie bounced over to grab herself a nice big brush, dipping it in an open bucket of deep red paint. Without hesitation, she slapped it onto the side of the barn and started spreading the colorful goo around. Rarity hummed to herself, and Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were talking about clouds or clowns somewhere above. Pinkie Pie was barely getting started on contemplating the virtues of a montage to pass the time when a sharp pop interrupted the five busy ponies, depositing a purple mare on the grass behind them.
“I’m here! Sorry I’m late,” Twilight called, rubbing her face and groaning. “I’m really sorry, I meant to be on time.”
Applejack raised a brow. “Sug’, we’ve barely just gotten started. Grab a brush. Think you can do the stuff in the middle? Saves me and Pinkie getting ladders and everything.”
“Ah. Sure. In a moment. I think I’ll just begin... here,” Twilight said, a smile slightly too wide adorning her face as she levitated over a brush. Taking a spot far away from the others—right next to Pinkie Pie—Twilight applied brush to wood without bothering with trivialities such as paint. Her eyes weren’t on the barn, but on Pinkie.
“Wow,” Pinkie said around the handle of her own brush. “Are you painting the barn barn-colored?”
Twilight glanced about and lowered her voice to a whisper. That, more than anything, drew everypony’s attention, but she didn’t seem to notice when the majority of the other brushes and rollers slowed down.
“I received another letter from Princess Celestia.”
Pinkie gasped. “Oh, is that why you’re late? What’s she saying? She was here only just a few days ago! Is she coming to visit again already?”
“No!” Twilight hissed. “She wrote to thank us for a wonderful time.”
Pinkie blinked as many times as her eyes would let her. “That’s a good thing. Isn’t that a good thing? You’re making it sound like the opposite of a good thing, unless the thing is upside-down.”
Twilight sighed, and Pinkie Pie peered past the unicorn to where Rarity and Rainbow Dash were slowly working their way closer, ears perked. Applejack merely rolled her eyes, and Fluttershy was powerless but to follow since she held Rainbow Dash’s paint bucket.
“It is a good thing,” Twilight said, puffing out her cheeks and exhaling. “It is, and it really is great to hear, but the reason I’m telling you this is because she also admitted she felt a little confused by your words.”
“That’s okay. My words are a little confusing to me, too.” Pinkie nodded with grave sympathy. “Yesterday I said ‘framdulendipitous’, and I don’t even know what that means except that it’s probably great.”
“No!” Twilight groaned. “Your comments about her. You’re sending some very, very weird signals.”
Pinkie Pie tilted her head. “No I’m not.”
Twilight let her brush drop and turned around to face Pinkie full-on. “Pinkie Pie? You’re making her think you’re, well, that you’re into her.”
Pinkie squinted, let the words bounce around her head a few times, then tilted her head the other way. When this yielded no results, she looked past Twilight to where Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy all crowded around Twilight.
“Y’all should be ashamed,” Applejack muttered from the other edge of the wall.
“What she’s saying,” Rarity said, making Twilight jump in surprise when she stepped up to her side. “Is that you may be giving Celestia an impression that isn’t altogether correct. I doubt she blames you, but it’s probably terribly confusing.”
Pinkie Pie sat down on the ground and twisted around to put her brush down on the paint bucket with the utmost care. So prepared, she turned to face her friends again; a rather massively uncomfortable Fluttershy, a smiling Rarity, a broadly grinning Rainbow Dash, and a Twilight who still looked back and forth between the first three with no small amount of indignation.
“Okay. Try again,” Pinkie said. She perked both her ears up for good measure and rolled her shoulders, preparing to be the best listener in all of Equestria for at least half a minute. Give or take twenty seconds.
When it became obvious none of the others intended to leap at the chance, Fluttershy took a single step forward, her eyes flitting about and ears pinned to the back of her head. “Well. Um. Do you remember last summer when Lyra kept visiting Bon-Bon’s candy stand just to talk to her, even though she rarely bought anything?”
“Uh-huh!”
Fluttershy nibbled her lip before she continued. She spoke very slowly, much like how Pinkie had seen her try to coax scared animals out of their dens. “Maybe you also remember how, in the end, Bon-Bon told her that she couldn’t loiter unless she really had something she wanted to buy. She was very nice about it, but—”
“And then Lyra asked her out!” Rarity clopped her hooves together. “Oh my word, it was terribly romantic. Love from a distance forced into bloom by a gentle misunderstanding, and then become a relationship full of passion. Oh, I can see it now.”
“You saw it then,” Applejack said, nudging Rarity on the rump so she could get working on the wall behind her. “Was me and you at market when it happened, and as I recall, it was pretty darn straightforward. Knew there was a reason I liked Lyra.”
“Yes, well. The memory is rather more elaborate in my head by now, and I think I prefer my version to Lyra’s awkward words of ‘Uh, yeah, wanna grab a snack? You’re cute.’” Rarity muttered to herself and crossed her forelegs in front of her chest.
Pinkie Pie poked Fluttershy’s snout with her own. “Of course I remember it. I staged a party for their half-year-getting-together anniversary! I really do love a good story, but what does this have to do with me?”
Rainbow Dash snickered. “Pinkie Pie, Princess Celestia thinks you want to smooch her.”
“Oh. Oh!” Pinkie Pie gasped, her mouth forming a perfect circle until it didn’t any more. She shrugged and bent one of her ears. “That’s not the same at all.”
Twilight leaned in, eyes trained straight on Pinkie Pie, though she smiled and her voice was calm and patient. “You’re confusing her by sending some mixed signals, that’s all.”
Pinkie thought about that, and the more she did, the sillier it sounded. She didn’t laugh or even smile, but the idea was stranger to her than a milkshake with salt. She began to nod. She had, after all, heard Twilight’s words, but it resolved itself as a shake of the head in the end.
She hadn’t been trying to fool anypony. That would be lying, and Pinkie Pie rarely lied unless there was a very specific and very good reason for it. Princess Celestia really was pretty, and she was far more fun than Pinkie had thought for the longest time. She was twice as important as even the cashier at the local joke shop, but she wasn’t half as snooty. Rather, the princess was as nice as the sun was bright. As her still-aching eyes confirmed, the sun was really bright.
Beyond that, much more important than everything else put together with a cherry on top, Pinkie knew there was even more to see if she could only get Celestia to smile. She wanted that more than anything, and not just for the joy it would bring herself. For the pretty princess, too. Kisses fit well into it, all things considered.
“I don’t think they’re mixed at all! I should probably try that. The smooching thing.” Pinkie said.
Her friends had been rather understanding of her silent little introspective lapse, all things considered, but those words got a reaction. Rather, a host of them. Twilight’s jaw dropped, Rarity’s eyes widened, Fluttershy squeaked, Dash laughed, and Applejack gave a single short guffaw before she picked her own brush up and nudged Dash aside, continuing her efforts to paint her barn.
Twilight ground a hoof against her forehead. “Pinkie, I know I’m saying this a lot, but that’s impossible.”
Dash frowned, taking to the air above Twilight. “Hey, Celestia asked you to butt out like, three times already.”
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Fluttershy said, shrinking back to hide behind Rarity with a muttered ‘sorry’ when Pinkie glanced her way.
Rarity herself raised a brow, lips pursed for a moment. “Well, it is terribly romantic, even if it’s implausible. I mean, if I were to play advocate for possibilities here.”
Twilight looked like she was about to say something very loud, but instead she closed her eyes for a second and sat. “Alright, fine. That is, ignoring that she’s a princess—”
Pinkie nodded along. “Yes sirree, ignoring!”
“—the ruler of the kingdom, and really busy!”
“Hey, Luna rules Equestria too.” Dash crossed her forelegs.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Yes. And you’re not looking to go and ask her out on a date, are you?”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth, and promptly shut it again, rubbing her jaw with a free hoof. A grin slowly spread across her face.
“Oh come on!” Twilight cried, triggering a burst of laughter from the colorful flier.
“Of course not! Jeez, calm down. She couldn’t keep up anyway.”
Applejack grunted as she pushed Pinkie Pie out of the way. “Comin’ through. Don’t mind me. Just painting my barn here.”
Twilight grabbed a hold of the farmpony. “Applejack. Please, please talk some sense into her.”
Applejack put her brush down, gave a rather demonstrative sigh, and turned to face the crowd. Pinkie beamed. Applejack always said really clever stuff when she paused before she spoke.
“Ooh, you look like you’ve got a speech! Want me to grab my port-a-podium?”
“Speech? Sorry to disappoint you there, Pinkie.” Applejack shrugged. “I just thought Rainbow already said what needs to be said at the start. The Princess can make her own decisions. She doesn’t need you actin’ as some kind of secretary, Twi’.”
Twilight swallowed and nodded, looking away for a moment. Pinkie stuck her tongue out and squinted, looking for an opportunity for a make-up hug, but Twilight looked like she was in a talky mood, not a huggy mood.
“It’s just that the princess said she’s not looked into anything like love or romance, that she’s not had any suitors for as long as she could remember. I still don’t understand, and I think you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.”
Fluttershy wrung her hooves. “That’s not really, um, well. Like Applejack says, it’s not really what you—I mean. Don’t you think you’re just being a little protective?”
Dash waved a leg in the air. “Hey, if it was important, then maybe we should remember I’m the one who said it?”
“And if that’s the case, that’s understandable,” Rarity added, neatly stepping in front of Rainbow Dash. “The princess has always meant a lot to you.”
Pinkie nodded and smiled. “It’s okay!” she said, though she’d quite frankly lost track of exactly what she was agreeing to or with, but everypony else seemed to be getting happier, and fast.
Twilight deflated visibly, her attention flitting between all her friends. “I—okay. Fine. It’s besides the point. It’s not my place. I know. I know.”
“If you know, then act like it. And it’d help if y’all could give me a hoof with my barn while you’re at it,” Applejack said, picking her brush up once more. “Paint’s gonna dry uneven if we wait much longer.”
Twilight looked up and locked eyes with Pinkie Pie, who smiled right back. “I’m sorry, Pinkie Pie, I really am. Just promise me one thing, okay? Think this through. Don’t do anything rash. You’re very important to me, and so is the princess. I mean it. Think for a bit. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
The look Twilight gave her was one of those that spoke of a moment of infinite gravity. Pinkie Pie paused the song in her head for a moment and forced herself to stop. To take a short few breaths and nod. Her eyes kept trying to dart up past Twilight and past the barn to steal a glance at the sun, but she kept her attention solely on Twilight. Without hesitation, her left hoof sketched a simple gesture across her chest.
“I promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly.”
Twilight’s sigh of relief was immense. “Okay. Thank you. Just, um, yeah. That. That would be great. Give it a little while, and a lot of thought. Thinking is great.”
Pinkie nodded once more, but the second she’d done so, her eyes widened with sudden realization.
“Wait. Does ‘suitor’ mean what I think it does? Does this mean Celestia hasn’t kissed anypony in a thousand years, or maybe even never before? Ohmygosh! Do you think she’ll need practice partners? Rainbow Dash, Equestria needs you!”
Applejack smacked her head against the barn.
Poor AJ.
Also, it's hard to tell if Twi is just getting caught up in her hero-worship of Tia, or if she's actually slightly infatuated herself, but suppressing it. Meh, we'll find out if she also has a crush later.
Another great chapter, your Pinkie is as in-character as always!
Keep up the good work, can't wait for the next chapter!
that is all
Yes Rainbow Dash, Equestria needs you! xD
GEORGE, GET THE CAMERA!!! EQUESTRIA MEDIA NEEDS IT!!!
*snkkt* Ha-HA! Brilliant ending!
Rainbow Dash: On-call for all Equestrian kissing emergencies!
Those last two paragraphs were priceless. Despite being in public, you managed to force a laugh or two out of me. Well done. This is actually one of a handful of stories I'm following really closely. I've read quite a bit of fiction on this site, but stories like this, stories that really stand out as unique, are, pun most certainly intended, a real rarity . If anypony has the ability to separate the princess from Celestia the pony, it's Pinkie Pie. I can't wait to see where you take this. I'm not sure if you plan to go that far, but I'd love to see what kind of relationship Pinkie Pie and the princess have once they get together. Can't wait for more.
Amazing in-character Pinkie writing. I feel like I'm reading a script for an episode.
2178481 You and me both, my friend xD
That... is singlehandedly the most hilarious line I've ever read from Pinkie's Pie's mouth
Sweet Celestia, that was priceless
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
From reading this chapter, I'm getting the idea that there's going to be a love triangle... hmmm
2173340 Naw, I get! It's part of the draw for me; trying to convince myself in the process of writing it. Making others feel it's not completely dumb, that's a bonus!
2176456 Thanks! I pray I don't stumble on the finish line in your eyes - though we've quite a bit to go yet.
2176898 I think I have a comment on exactly this planned in-fic, but in short, I think Celestia is quite pleased with the situation of not being able to predict Pinkie, too!
2178433 I would love to clear up this issue, mind you, but I never know where others place the bar with regards to spoilers. I'll just keep writing, for now!
2178442 Thanks!
2178446 In response: . I like to think she pretty much knew what'd happen when she invited all her friends to help out. If she wanted to get the barn actually painted, she'd just do it herself.
2178448 Even Pinkie Pie knows Dash is the most shipped character.
2178481 2178602 I hope you find it again! (Yay!)
2178491 If the Foal Free Press is still running, they'd see an increase in sales, I'm sure!
2178498 I'm glad, but we've so very, very many more chapter endings to go before we're done, promise!
2178515 Ended the chapter there because it'd be very unkind to Twilight to let Pinkie and Dash continue that line of thinking there. Poor Twi. :(
2178580 You're very kind to say so, and I'm glad! Making people have outbursts in public is a huge plus! As far as specifics here go, I of course shan't comment for fear of spoiling, but I'm very excited about sitting down and ironing out the last bits. Hope it's to your tastes!
2178594 The day the writers have to resort to writing about smoochies and all things related, we know that they've either gone crazy, or found a cache of very very illegal substances. Still, I'll take that as praise and thank you for it!
2178612 As I said in a comment right up there ---^ I could comment on that, but I'm very reluctant to spoil. I can't help but feel I may've been unclear and/or chosen some words poorly though. Dunno where people lie on the spoiler preference scale here - some don't mind discussing a story as it's going up, others plug their ears with their hooves and go all Rain Man the second someone opens their mouth. Gah.
This is perfect. I really love your Pinkie Pie
Rainbow Dash, Equestria needs you!
Commence read.
Twilight just can't comprehend it.
2178673
True, even at their most platonic, the thought of any of her friends kissing Celestia has to be like if one of them said, "Hey, Twilight, I think your mom is hot."
This is more kinds of brilliant than I have fingers to count.
Much laughter was had. Pinkie would be proud
2178827
Or even raunchier comments about one's mother.
What can I say?
- shipping of two my favourite ponies - check
- amazingly in-character Pinkie (better than in most of S3 if you ask me) - check
- barn is being painted in my favourite colour - check!
And yeah, that ending Indeed, Pinkie knows about all those ships with rainbow sails. SHE KNOWS
2178673
Alright, I just put a spoiler on my comment
2178676 Aw, I'm glad, thanks!
2178732 Rainbow Dash is not the hero Equestria needs, she's the hero Equestria- wait. I don't even.
2178827 2178990 This singular fact is - and will continue to be - a source of ridiculous amusement for me. You have it exactly.
2178949 Depending on your species and your finger count, that's either a glowing compliment or an empty statement, but thank you!
2179045 Of course, what you mean is "barn being not-painted in your favorite color". I swear I don't hate AJ, she's just so easy to abuse. :( Thank you for reading thus far, and I hope it's not-terrible going forward!
2179083 Eep! No--sorry, I think I made an ass out of myself here; I didn't at all mean to imply that you'd said or done anything objectionable. Rather, I was just saying I wasn't sure how much more to tell you because some people really dislike spoilers, and I didn't want to toss info on you unwanted, sorry for the confusion!
2179390
Well, I just so happen to be an 18-fingered mutant.
2179390
...meh, I don't mind. Don't trouble yourself
I doubt the love triangle theory. Twilight just seems like she has it in her head that she KNOWS, 100% for sure, that there's no chance of Pinkie making headway with her "smoochies with the Princess" plan, and she doesn't want to see an awkward situation that ends with Pinkie getting hurt.
Of course, she's wrong, and WE know that because of the meta of the story, but Twilight wouldn't. I mean... it's the Princess.
I will be severely disappointed if Rainbow Dash doesn't decide to make a pass at Luna after the inevitable Pielestia takes shape.
2179390
"And so we'll ship her. Because she can take it. Because she's not our waifu. She's a prismatic fillyfooler, a tomboyish showoff. The Rainbow Dash."
Oh, Rainbow, you dog!
Seriously though, Luna and Dash? I'd love to see that work.
Smoochies!
Another excellent chapter!
Pinky is so invincibly single-minded! And I like the thought that she hadn't really thought through any potential physical aspect to a relationship; it just shows you what her goal truly is (or at least was up to now).
Aww, Twilight. That's awfully sweet of you, but the princess is a big girl. She can look after her own heart, I'm sure.
Anyway, there's another parallel universe version of this fic that keeps poping up in my head with a slightly more laid back Twilight. She's sitting back expectantly with a notebook and quill, trying not to laugh.
"Well now, oh teacher, oh mentor of mine. She who insisted I learn all about friendship. I am looking forward to seeing how you handle your newfound friendship with Pinkie Pie. She can be quite a handful, but I'm confident that you know what you're doing. I'm sure I will learn lots, seeing a master at work."
Hahahahaha! I love this chapter! That punchline at the end of the chapter got my wife jealous of my Kindle…
The unpainted barn gag was cool and funny, but please don't turn AJ into the token prude. She's the most obnoxious token prude ever.
All right, typically good stuff thus far. I really like this take on Celestia; you don't see many stories where she's the one having trouble adjusting to Luna's return. It's believable, too. Doing two jobs for a thousand years probably would turn her into a workaholic with no ability to do anything else. And Pinkie wouldn't stand for that, of course, so this is a good way to bring them together. Pinkie's characterization is sheer brilliance as always, by the way.
Looking forward to more.
I just managed to run across this story, and I have to say: Pinkestia is a ship I've never even considered, considering how the two characters seem to be at such extreme emotional opposites it never even crossed my mind. And now that I'm reading a fic with it? I'm chomping at the bit, so to speak.
Well-written and good pacing, this story is going on my favorites right here and now. I "contentedly" await further chapters.
Ha! It was good, got better, and then the last line made me laugh (actually) out loud. Joyous.
2180085
I think it's more like she's the token "person who is actually on task" since they're all supposed to be painting her barn instead of standing around.
Excellent chapter title.
2179787
I wonder if Dash still has that Shadowbolts costume...
"Rainbow Dash, Equestria needs you!”
"Yes ma'am! I'm on my way!"
That line killed me.
Wonderful story, i could babble about the right pacing and whatnot, so i'll just say this Cloudy: It's all you and that's all i needed to start reading it.
Applejack, everyone has that friend that makes you want smash your face into the wall. I know I am that friend.
Lost it on the last line, I'm honestly hoping that Pinkie Pie takes this seriously for once, falling in love with an immortal is very tragic because it ALWAYS ends in heart break but it's still a very well thought of feat....damn, this is going to be a train wreck....bring me the popcorrn, chairs and a cigarette
2180085 Given her reactions to the whole thing, I don't think there's much danger of that. Closest she came to prudery was really more along the lines of:
Y'all remember there's a barn needs paintin', don'tcha?
I could hardly stop laughing.
Dash and Pinkie are just the best comic duo. Even when one of them is romancing someone else, you can feel the bromance. (I know that term isn't quite right, but I couldn't think of a better phrase to describe that connection)
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/25442__safe_animated_discord_fanfic_computer_now-kiss_discorderlyconduct_typing.gif?1342342548
Maybe?
I can't wait to see how Pinkie asks Celestia out on a date. This will be sweet and silly and hilarious all at the same time. I can't wait
Ciao darling
God the date is going to be nuts.
This story makes me follow a very simple formula:
Cat + Catnip = High Cat
Cat = Me
Catnip = Fic
High Cat = MORE CHAPTERS!
Poor AJ^^ She really has my sympathy here^^
2183369 I always wondered... who descided that Alicorns are immortal? True Celestia is over 1000 years old but so is the Doctor. It doesnt mean that he wont ever die. It just means he has a long lifespan. Same goes for Celestia/Luna.
Forget the story. Forget the shipping. Forget everything else! I have to know... DID THE BARN EVER GET PAINTED?!
2179434 This brings me immense joy! Well. Assuming the condition isn't a bother. :(
2179506 Given my, uh, predispositions, I won't lie and say I didn't ask myself "Can I slip LunaDash into this without making it stupid?" All my fics always risk going for all the ships. Fortunately (?) it usually works out in a sane manner. WTAJ is the exception, and I regret nothing.
As for further jokes on the subject, however, I shall say nothing.
2179620 Aw, thanks! You shall most certainly have many, many more - I discovered I need to do a little bit more editing on the next chapter before I release it, but I'll be sad if it's not out within a day or two. After that, I actually need to think a bit.
2179787 I, uh. Hm. Hm! I must admit the next-up fic featuring princesses was likely to be RariLuna, but I don't really understand how LunaDash would work.
See, I use the word "but" because not knowing is enticing.
2179855 Smoochies, kissies, lickses and extra-special-sugary-tongue-time!
2179861
>invincibly single-minded
This is an excellent set of words and you should be commended for it. In fact, I am commending you. Right now. This is my commendment face.
Also, I really like your perspective on Pinkie's little revelation. I'd lie if I didn't say I had hoped people would read it like that; sometimes, "spontaneity" is actually just the wrapping for something very sweet and responsible.