Stormy was a pony down on his luck.He was homeless, hungry, and tired. All of that changed, however, when he made new friendships, and rediscovered old ones. (btw this is my first fic so constructive criticism is welcome, and if you like it I have more in store)
Nice story!
Im assuming that the mare of his dreams is one Twghit Skle, as she is listed in the character tags. Very good for a first timer!
The chapter is short, very short. A bad thing about uploading early as that it doesn't give the viewers enough time to get hooked. Perhaps consider removing the story and making the chapter much longer?
Satriark
157003 thanks, I knew someone would comment about the length but the first chapter was really ment to be a preview of what's to come, the other chapters will be longer, trust me.
157003 also are you excited for the ship? I just assumed because of all of thes
This story has so much potential. I can't wait for the next update!
211967 thanks btw the next update will probably be the last chapter
212548 What! But the story's so short! Well, alright...
214172
Don't worry the chapter will be long and I have three more stories in this series
Sweeet!!!!
Hey everybrony, I'm glad you are reading my story, and I hope you like it. Now I have a challenge for you. I need cover art for the next few fics in the series, and General Zoi's Pony Creator isn't going to cut it this time. If any of you reading this have any artistic talent whatsoever, PM (personal message) me and I will tell you more about what I need drawn. Thanks!
Brony I am, Brony I was, and Brony I will be,
Newbrony1011
Interesting idea, obvious level of effort put in, and an overall interesting concept.
The problem here is that this story is rushed like a motherbucker. You need to slow down.
I thought this fic was pretty good, it just has a few problems keeping it from being great.
_It's really short. I think another two chapters would have done this fic wonders.
_It's a little rushed. This means that character jump from one scene to the next.
_and your oc feels a little underdeveloped. He's almost a blank slate. it'd be nice to see motivation, hopes, dreams and defining characteristics.
_somethings should be shown and not told. It'd the better if the reader got to know these character more and understand the dept of their emotions as well as see some more character interaction.
Don not take anything too harshly. I still liked it. As a whole the writing is good, there aren't any huge spelling errors, the syntax and format is very well done and it is easy to read.
very good i like it so far
Good premise. Nice basic start to a character and a backstory, but its RUSHED AF. If you were to take this, add some more side stories, a little filler, a little fluff, pace it out over a dozen or so chapters instead of four, it would be great.