Flying High

by arglefumph

Tricking the Trickster

Discord's takeover of Equestria was swift and brutal. The clouds turned into cotton candy and started raining chocolate milk, store mannequins started quoting Shakespeare, and the trains turned into giant caterpillars. Since the trains weren't working, Twilight Sparkle was forced to fly home, which meant she arrived at Ponyville much earlier than everypony else.

Twilight stopped at Sugarcube Corner because she heard a commotion inside, and it's a good thing she did, because the Cakes were having major problems. A group of sentient muffins, wielding knives, had the two bakers trapped in a corner. Hiding behind them were Spike and Scootaloo.

"Come on! Why can't you fly us to safety?" Spike asked, panicked. He was sitting on Scootaloo's back.

"I...urgh...it's because you weigh too much!" Scootaloo said, flapping as hard as she could, but not leaving the ground. "You're holding me down!"

"What's going on?" Twilight asked. The group of trapped ponies looked up.

"Thank goodness!" Mr. Cake said. "Somepony to help!"

"Find a way to stop these crazy muffins!" Mrs. Cake cried.

Some of the muffins turned and ran towards Twilight, waving their knives menacingly. She jumped into the air and hovered to get away from them. One muffin threw its knife at her leg, but fortunately, it was only a butter knife, so it didn't do much damage.

"Ow!" Twilight said. She looked around, thinking quickly. "Do you have a bag or something I can scoop them up in?"

"We keep our boxes in the back, but as you can see, we're a bit busy right now!" Mr. Cake said, stomping towards a muffin that was getting too close.

"Have you tried eating them?" Twilight asked.

"That's what started this mess in the first place!" Mrs. Cake said.

"Get my mom!" Scootaloo cried. "I bet she knows a 'Stop Evil Baking Goods' spell!"

"She's in—wait, Spike! Use your fire breath!"

Spike slapped his forehead. "Of course!" He jumped off of Scootaloo, took a deep breath, then blew out fire towards the muffins. Some of them were toasted, and the others ran away in fear.

Mrs. Cake ran into the back to get a container to trap the muffins, while Mr. Cake stepped forward. "Thanks a million, Twilight! For a second there, I thought we were well-done! I've never heard of food coming to life before!"

"Yes, well...I'm afraid it's because of Discord," Twilight said. Twilight explained the situation, while Mrs. Cake caught the errant muffins. When she was done, everypony was horrified.

"He's a monster made up of other monsters?"

"He can use magic to do whatever he wants?"

"Who's gonna stop him?"

"Yes, yes, and I don't know," Twilight said. "I was there, when he did a weird spell on the princesses. They tried undoing the spell, but something went wrong. Now Princess Celestia and Luna share the same body!"

"A two-headed princess?" Scootaloo asked. In a lower voice, she muttered, "Gee, maybe it's good that I was grounded."

"Discord has the Elements of Harmony, so he's probably going to be around for a while," Twilight said. "I'm not sure there's anything we can do about it."

"What are the Elements of Harmony?" Mrs. Cake asked.

"Um...it's a long story," Twilight said.

---

Twilight volunteered to watch Spike and Scootaloo, since their mother wasn't going to return to Ponyville anytime soon. Trixie's house was floating upside-down in midair, so the three of them spent the night at the library. Scootaloo insisted on sleeping in the same bed as Twilight, which the older pegasus found endearing.

While they were eating breakfast the next morning, there was a frantic pounding at the library door. Twilight answered it, and to her surprise, she found Mayor Mare on her doorstep, looking frazzled. "Thank Celestia!" the mayor said. "Twilight, I desperately need your help!"

"Hello, Mayor," Twilight said. "The library isn't open yet, but if you come back after 9:00, I can help you—"

"Ponyville is in utter chaos!" Mayor Mare said. "Houses are floating, animals are running wild, and a monster named Discord has destroyed City Hall!"

"Discord did what?"

"Completely destroyed! He peeled the walls apart like an onion and transformed my desk into a throne! You have to help stop him! If you don't, we'll be doomed!"

Twilight's eyes widened in surprise, as she realized the mayor wanted her to help save the town. "Wow, I'm honored, Mayor! I can't believe you came to me first! I'll do my best!"

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!" Mayor Mare said. "If Trixie doesn't get here soon, who knows what will happen?"

"Huh?" Twilight asked. "What does Trixie have to do with anything?"

The Mayor blinked. "Trixie is the only pony who can stop Discord," she said slowly. "That's why we need your help finding her. You two are friends, right?"

Twilight's jaw dropped. "Wait...all you want me to do is find Trixie? What makes you think I can't stop Discord?!"

"Well...I'm sure you could make a good try, but the Great and Powerful Trixie is more qualified to stop monsters. She's Princess Celestia's personal student after all."

"So am I!" Twilight found herself shouting at the mayor.

Like most politicians, Mayor Mare was good at pretending to sympathize with other ponies. "I'm sorry Twilight," she said. "But considering your...questionable past, asking Trixie is the better choice. Next year is an election year, and—"

Twilight slammed the door in the mayor's face. Mayor Mare frowned and ran a hoof through her hair. "Great. Just perfect! All of Trixie's other friends are out of town! Who's going to help me find her?"

---

Three hours later, Mayor Mare was forced to return to the library. She was greeted by an unhappy Twilight.

Mayor Mare tried to break the ice. "Hello, Twilight. How is your day going so far?"

"It's been relatively quiet, except for a chinchilla attack," Twilight said. "Have you come back to ask me to find Trixie again?"

"Oh, no, Derpy Hooves volunteered to help find her," Mayor Mayor smiled. "No, I'm here because of Princess Scootaloo."

"What about her?"

"I heard that she's staying with you," Mayor Mare said. "Is that true? I need to speak with her."

"Scootaloo, could you come here?" Twilight called. School had been cancelled that day due to lack of Cheerilee, so Scootaloo was still at Twilight's house. "What do you need to talk to her about?"

"We need to relocate her," the mayor said. "The library isn't safe enough."

"Safe enough? What do you mean?"

"For one thing, you always leave the windows open, which makes your vulnerable to an aerial attack. What if a pegasus flies in and tries to kidnap the princess?"

"That's ridiculous," Twilight said. "What if Earth ponies break in and try to kidnap Scootaloo? I can grab her and escape through the windows."

"I'm here!" Scootaloo said. "What's—oh, hi, Miss Mayor!"

Mayor Mare bowed. "Hello, your highness. I was just telling Twilight here that we need to move you someplace safer."

"Where?"

"The clock tower. We can post a guard at the door."

"I wanna stay with Twilight!" Scootaloo said.

"But it's not safe here in the library," Mayor Mare said.

"We're not safe anywhere," Twilight argued. "Discord can appear and disappear wherever he wants to!"

Discord popped out of Mayor Mare's collar. "She's right, you know! I'm sort of omnipotent!"

Mayor Mare screamed and ran away at top speed, trying to get away from the monster in her collar. Discord howled with laughter the entire time.

"Was that the Discord monster?" Scootaloo asked.

"Yes," Twilight said, shutting the door. "I have a feeling you'll see a lot more of him when your mother returns. Now come on, let's get back to studying."

Scootaloo stuck out her tongue. "I don't know why I have to study when there's no school!"

---

Due to Discord's interference, it ended up being four days before Trixie and the others returned to Ponyville by train. Needless to say, it had been a very trying four days, and Trixie was ecstatic to be back home.

"We're finally back!" Trixie said.

"Yeah, no thanks to your stupid face," Fluttershy said.

"Meh, at least it's not as stupid as the hat she always wears," Rainbow Dash said.

"Can you stop insulting me for five minutes?!" Trixie snapped.

"Trixie has a point, dears," Rarity said. "It's not her fault that she's A BIG FART FACE!"

"Says the coltfriend-stealing slimeball!" Applejack said.

"You want a piece of me, Apple Butt?!" Rarity asked.

Trixie rubbed her aching forehead. Sometimes it felt like she was the only sane pony in the group. Obviously, Discord had done something to the other ponies, but she didn't know what.

The only ponies more frustrated than Trixie were the two stallions: Shining Armor and Big Macintosh. Shining was understandably upset, given that his kind-of marefriend Rarity was switching erratically from a raving maniac to a disloyal mare who refused to even speak to any of her friends. On the other hoof, Big Macintosh was suffering from a very special malady, cooked up by Discord.

Big Macintosh first discovered his problem, during the confusion at the Grand Galloping Gala.

"Apple Bloom? Apple Bloom?" Big Macintosh cried, trying to make himself heard.

"Eeenope! Eeenope!" the nearby ponies cried, running in all directions.

Big Macintosh ran through the crowd, until he found a mare who was standing still. "Excuse me, I'm looking for mah little sister," Big Macintosh said. "Have you seen her?"

"Eeeeyup. Eeeyup. Eeenope," the mare said.

"Excuse me?" Big Macintosh asked.

"Eeenope. Eeeyup. Eeeyup yup yup," the mare said.

Big Macintosh drew backwards, as he noticed the movement of her lips did not match the sounds coming out of her mouth. Suddenly, like a dam bursting, he took in the sounds from the nearby ponies.

"Eeenope."

"Eeeyup."

"Eeeyup! Eeenope! Eeeyup!!"

I can only hear two words! Big Macintosh realized.

"EEENOOOOOPE!" he cried, falling to his knees and holding his hooves to the sky.

It was four days later, and the spell on Big Macintosh still hadn't worn off. The spell on Pinkie Pie had worn off, in an odd fashion; she had turned from a human to a pink creature labeled "CASH COW". After a few hours, she morphed back into a pony, but her voice was still missing.

The ponies all went their separate ways, going to their respective homes, except Shining Armor, who went with Trixie. Shining had been ordered to serve as Princess Scootaloo's personal guard—again—and although he was glad for the excuse to visit Ponyville, he didn't relish the thought of going head-to-head with Discord.

Mayor Mare soon tracked down Trixie and begged her to help save the town. Trixie refused.

"It's impossible," she said. "Discord is too powerful."

"But you're the best magician in our town!" Mayor Mare said. "Surely, there must be something you can do!"

"Discord has unlimited magical powers," Trixie said. "Not to mention, he's already defeated myself and the princesses."

"So you're going to give up?"

"No, of course not. The Great and Powerful Trixie is going to wait for instructions from Princess Celestia, before she does anything. I might be good, but there's no way I can defeat Discord without a plan."

"But...but!" Mayor Mare said. "The town is in chaos! Ponies can't do their jobs, and the local economy is suffering from massive deflation! If this keeps up, everypony will move out of town!"

"I understand the problems that Discord poses, probably better than anypony," Trixie said. "But he can't be stopped by brute magical force. If you ask me, you'd be better off getting the help of the smartest pony in town. She can probably think of a clever way to stop Discord."

"She can? Who?" Mayor Mare asked.

"Twilight Sparkle, the librarian," Trixie said.

"Horsefeathers," Mayor Mare swore.

---

It took a little bit of hoof-kissing, but Twilight eventually accepted Mayor Mare's request to stop Discord. Twilight might not have agreed, but for a personal issue: Discord broke into the library and ripped out the final chapters to all the mystery books, just to mess with readers. Twilight was so furious about this that she banned him from the library for life.

Twilight had read a few books with characters like Discord, so she knew that outsmarting him was probably the only way to win. She had a few clever ideas on how to trick the trickster, and she worked them out with Trixie, the mayor and Scootaloo.

The following day, they put the Scootaloo plan into action. Twilight reasoned that Scootaloo was the least suspicious, therefore she was most likely to get away with tricking Discord. The first step of the plan was to summon Discord to the now-open Ponyville Elementary schoolhouse.

"Are you ready?" Shining Armor asked.

"You bet!" Scootaloo said. "I'm gonna get Discord for turning my scooter into a roller skate!"

"Okay, Spike, send the letter," Shining Armor ordered.

Spike nodded and used his fire breath to send the prepared letter. Not long afterwards, Discord appeared.

"Heeere's Discord!" Discord said, dancing his way around the schoolyard. "Got your fax, Scootaloo. You wanted to see me?"

Scootaloo nodded. "Yeah, everypony says I need to talk to you."

Shining Armor stepped forward. "Don't try any funny business! I'm her personal guard, and if you try to hurt her, I'll be forced to take drastic measures."

"That would be vaguely threatening, if you weren't the worst guard in all of Equestria," Discord said. "Go fly a kite or something, would you? The adults are talking."

Shining Armor growled. "I'm serious! You might have taken over Canterlot, but you won't be so lucky with Ponyville!"

"Um...hello? I've been in control of Ponyville for about a week now?" Discord said. He summoned a dunce cap, which appeared on Shining Armor's head.

"GAH!" Shining Armor said. He tried to grab the hat, but it grew in size and covered his body. Shining ran around in circles, unable to see.

"Sorry about that," Discord said. "Shiney's a little upset because his marefriend refuses to see him anymore. Almost like somepony corrupted her..."

"So, um..." Scootaloo said. "The mayor wants me to defeat you..."

"Oh, yes, I know all about that!" Discord said. He rubbed his fingers together, and a princess robe appeared on Scootaloo's back. A golden scepter bearing Scootaloo's image appeared in her hoof. "Princess Scootaloo, the great and mighty conqueror! Kind of pathetic that the mayor needs a foal to do her dirty work."

"Well, you're being naughty and messing everything up!" Scootaloo said. "It doesn't really matter to me if you do that in Canterlot, but I won't let you do that here at my school!"

"Oh? And just how are you going to stop me, Princess Scootaloo? You want to have a wrestling match?"

"No, my big sister says 'violence isn't the answer to anypony's problems'."

"...Sounds like something Dull-light Boring-kle would say," Discord muttered.

"So instead, let's make a deal!" Scootaloo said. "You like chaos, right? Well, the Cutie Mark Crusaders go to school here, and Mom says they're the most chaotic ponies in the entire WORLD!"

"Hmmm..." Discord said, removing one arm and using it to rub his chin. "I have heard good things about your little club. Not much room for improvement with the chaos you produce."

"So that's my deal." Scootaloo paused for a moment, to make sure she had everything correct. Twilight said the proper wording was essential, or the trick wouldn't work. "In exchange for the help of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, you agree to leave my domain."

"You drive a hard bargain, Princessaloo," Discord said. He shook hooves with her. "But I accept the terms of your deal."

"It's official?" Scootaloo asked.

"It's official," Discord said.

"Ha!" Scootaloo said. "I tricked you!"

"Whaaaaat?" Discord asked, pretending to be shocked.

"I'm a Princess of Equestria, so that means you have to leave town forever!" Scootaloo said. "The entire country is in my domain!"

"But—but I thought the deal only referred to me leaving the playground!"

"That's the trick!" Scootaloo said, flapping her wings happily. "Twilight was right! It did work!"

"Oh no! Oh dear! Whatever shall I do?" Discord moaned. "Oh, wait. I know!"

Discord clapped his hands, then set a countdown timer on a screen. Four...three...two...one...

"MY CUTIE MARK!" shouted two voices from the building.

Scootaloo frowned. "What was that?"

"That would be Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle," Discord said. "I just gave them their cutie marks."

"You can do that?" Scootaloo asked.

"Duh," Discord said. "And now that there aren't any more Cutie Mark Crusaders, you can't hold up your end of the bargain, making our agreement null and void."

"But—but—"

A slinky cocktail dress appeared around Discord's body. "Oh, but we do have a lovely parting gift for you, Scootaloo! Say hello to your new teacher!"

Discord shot out a wave of blue magic. It flew across the yard and enveloped Diamond Tiara, who was talking to Cheerilee. Cheerilee started to shrink, and she became younger and younger until she was a school age filly. Diamond Tiara grew taller and older; a magnificent pair of wings sprouted from her back at the same time a majestic horn came from her forehead.

"What's happened?" Cheerilee gasped.

"I'm an alicorn?!" Diamond Tiara shouted.

"By the way, the next time Twilight tries to tangle with a god, tell her to bring her A-game," Discord said. "BYE!"

Discord waved and disappeared, as Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom ran out of the classroom. They proudly shoved their flanks in Scootaloo's face.

"Look, I got a cutie mark in 'Scootaloo Annoying'!" Sweetie Belle said.

"And I got a cutie mark in 'Bothering Scootaloo'!" Apple Bloom said.

"We're gonna work on our special talents all day long!" they both shouted.

"This is bad," Scootaloo said, as her two former friends started shouting in her ear and poking her in an irritating fashion.

---

The next day, Mayor Mare tried her plan. She visited Discord while he was on his throne, practicing his singing.

"Excuse me, Discord?"

"La laaaaaa—oh, bother!" Discord said. "Why'd you interrupt me? I was this close to finishing my speak-singing lesson!"

"I'm...sorry to interrupt your important business, but we have political matters to discuss."

"Oh, goody, you've finally decided to surrender!" Discord said. "You've accepted my terms?"

"City Council didn't approve everything, but I think you'll be satisfied," Mayor Mare said, pulling a document of surrender out of her saddlebag. Discord took it from her hooves and started reading.

"Hmmm...ballerina slippers, chocolate-chip cookies, a statue of me standing on top of—hey, what gives? I asked for a statue of me standing on top of the princesses!"

"You're lucky to be getting a statue at all," Mayor Mare said. "They cost a lot of money."

"Pfft, fine," Discord said. He resumed reading. "Gumball trees, a three-record deal including a rap album, mandatory shipping of certain ponies, and a tiny glass of water. Well, everything seems to be in order here. I just sign on the dotted line?"

"Yes, and Ponyville is yours," Mayor Mare said.

"Oh, but what's this?" Discord asked. He grabbed his eyeball and stretched it to the size of a building. "Fine print?"

"No, there's no—"

"By signing this, Discord agrees to forfeit his chaotic magic, and—oh, nice try, mayor! This document is as phony as your hair dye!"

"Darn it!" Mayor Mare said. "I mean, I had no idea that was there!"

---

The next day, Trixie put her plan into action.

"Discord! Fear and tremble as the Great and Powerful Trixie approaches!" Trixie said.

Discord yawned and relaxed in a hammock, with a refreshing tropical drink in his hand.

"I have a treaty for you to—"

"It's another trick from Twilight, and it hinges upon the fact that the word 'Ponyville' is spelled incorrectly," Discord said, while yawning and stretching. "Seriously, is she even trying to fool me, anymore?"

Trixie frowned.

"Give up yet?" Discord asked.

"NEVER!" she cried.

Comments

[SageBrony07]

Oh great. I hope Twilight can think of something. That was funny with the mayor and twilight though. That was good.

[Seether00]

Darn you, fine print!

[Alanith]

Yeah I'm REALLY getting annoyed with this story. Which is a damn shame because it started off so great. I didn't start reading this because Twilight Sparkle was an ineffective background character like she's been ever since about the point where she was turned into an Alicorn by NMM. I started reading it because it was an interesting premise, having Twilight's origin story be significantly different, and having to rely on her wits more then her god-mode tier magical abilities. And then Trixie showed up and it became Trixie and Friends, while Twilight was relegated to the status of a unimportant background pony with no lines.

[Rathalos122]

"It's another trick from Twilight, and it hinges upon the fact that the word 'Ponyville' is spelled incorrectly,"

let me guess : Phonyville?^^
why do i get the feeling all this is just a distraction?

[TheGreatEater]

3931100

Because Twilight is pulling this with Discord.

[Jack Kellar]

3930952 I agree. Arglefumph tried way too hard to distance the world from unicorn Twilight's, and now the entire clusterfuck is losing all we came here to see.

I've been really apathetic about this ever since Twilight was purged, so much so that I've only opened the update notification email today, a long time after it arrived. And I saw it arrive. Trixie as Twilight Sparkle 2 and Scootaloo the Princess as main focuses I just can't bring myself to give much of a fuck about.

[arglefumph]

3930952 3940352 Yes, I'm starting to regret continuing this story, after ending it with the Nightmare Moon battle. Sure, "what happens with Discord?" is an okay sequel hook, but the problem is that Pegasus Twilight is stuck on the outside looking in. She's not an Element of Harmony, and that forces her into the background of a story in which Discord fights the Elements.

The other problem is that Twilight is perfectly happy, not being the Hero of Equestria. She is just fine with being a relatively unknown pony, whose life mostly revolves around running the library. Her job makes her happy, just as much as friendship makes her happy. Good for her, but "the adventures of an obscure librarian" doesn't make for interesting reading. I've drummed up a little conflict for her to go up against, but it's nothing as good as "stop Nightmare Moon".

I'm only one or two chapters away from an ending, though, so I'm going to charge ahead and wrap this thing up, rather than go back and do a massive rewrite of Part 2, to make it more Twilight-centric (which is a synonym for "better").

[HopeFox]

Well, I'm certainly enjoying this! Twilight has made some good attempts to fight Discord with what she's got - it's just a pity that Discord seems to be better at contracts than she is.

[Unknownlight]

3943391

to make it more Twilight-centric (which is a synonym for "better").

Truer words have never been spoken.

[PixelMoon]

A tiny glass of water? Really? XD