Her League Limits
TIME: 1:30 PM CST
LOCATION: MUSEUM OF NATURAL ARCANA, FILLYDELPHIA
REASON FOR MATCH: INTEREST IN MAGICAL GEMS AND OTHER ARTIFACTS
The card that Twilight had summoned was a joke. It had to be. She glanced at the clock hanging on the library wall. One twenty six. She scanned the card again, then cursed. Her eyes flicked back to the timepeice. One twenty seven. Without thinking, she shouted one of the most profane oaths known to ponykind. Spike, who had been shelving books, stopped to clap slowly, nodding at the librarian with respect clear on his face. "Wow Twilight, I didn't think you had it in you," the dragonling gushed.
Twilight Sparkle was already rushing up the stairs. "Spike, if you ever think about using that word, you'll be eating nothing but coal, granite, and bran muffins for a month!" she called out over her shoulder.
"Bran muffins!?" The dragonling shouted up at her, "Do you want me to chip a tooth?"
The unicorn didn't bother to reply. Bursting through her bedroom door, she wrapped the brush on her dresser in a sheathe of magic and began furiously brushing her hair.
So what if U-harmony had only given her five minutes warning for her date? So what if she only had... Twilight glanced at the nearest clock... two minutes and fifteen seconds to get ready? That didn't mean the date was fated to be a disaster. The mare's eye twitched.
With a minute and thirty seconds left on the clock, Twilight felt the familiar pull of teleportation magic, and disappeared with a flash.
***
Twilight Sparkle reappeared fully aware, panic warding off any disorientation from the spell. She found herself in a quiet hall, surrounded by display cases filled with an array of glimmering stones; she could feel the latent magic resonating within the gems. A few ponies, mostly older couples and families, were making their slow way through the museum.
The librarian was startled by a flash from behind her, and found that she was still levitating her hairbrush. Without thought, she flung the implement as far as she could in a random direction. She winced at the echoing clatter of wood on tile, then spun to meet her date. She put on a smile that she hoped would appear relatively sane.
There behind the purple-maned unicorn, facing away, was a very familiar pony. White coat, purple tail, three gems on her flank; there was no mistaking it. Rarity was just recovering from being stunned by the sudden transport. Twilight's head tilted as she considered the implications. Her mouth opened, but no sound emerged.
The dressmaker took her time composing herself, then spun gracefully. Her eyes began to sweep the room, and settled almost immediately on her friend. The white-coated unicorn's face took on an expression disturbingly similar to the one Spike got whenever Twilight found him with his hand in the cookie jar.
"Oh, hello Twilight, fancy meeting you here. Coincidentally. What brings you to this museum?" Rarity asked, deliberately casual. Her eyes studied the ceiling intently.
"The same thing that brought you here, Rarity," The other mare deadpanned, "Why didn't you tell me what you were using U-harmony for?"
"Why, what ever do you mean, darling," the fashionista replied, "I'm merely here to look at the... um...," her eyes flicked to a display case, then lit up, "The gems! Ha! I love gems. It makes perfect sense for me to come here and look at these gems." She spared another glance at the glittering stones, then nodded, "So there."
Twilight put a hoof to her face, shaking her head, "Rarity, have you ever heard of trying too hard?"
Rarity preened her impeccably-styled mane with a recently-pedicured hoof. "No," she said simply.
"You do know that I can sense your link to the U-harmony teleportation spell, right?" The other unicorn asked.
The dressmaker chuckled nervously, "What a delightful bluff, dear."
Twilight sighed, and reached out with telekinesis to where she felt the U-harmony card tucked into the other mare's tail. She pulled it out with perhaps a bit more force than necessary, eliciting an indignant cry from the white-coated unicorn. The card floated to the librarian, and she inspected it. "Well, what a surprise. This matches mine. I guess I'm not the only one who checked 'mare for mare', am I?" The librarian asked dryly.
Rarity turned her nose up, "I'll have you know that you can check more than one box." She spun away, focusing intently on the nearest array of gemstones.
Twilight smiled as she shook her head. She walked to stand beside her friend. "Well. This is awkward."
"Yes. Very awkward indeed."
The librarian shifted her weight from side to side. She spoke hesitantly, "So? You're a fillyfooler too? I thought... you know... with that whole prince thing...."
"I've always appreciated all kinds of beauty," the other mare said. Her lips spread into a thin smile, "The... incident with Blueblood has caused me to reconsider my primary focus."
"Ah." Twilight looked away.
"Quite."
They were silent for a long time. Rarity finished scanning the display in front of them, and began to walk slowly from case to case, taking in each in turn. Twilight followed.
Eventually, the librarian found herself asking, "So we're going to...?"
Rarity paused, turning to smile at the other mare. "We're going to enjoy an afternoon out as friends. We might as well make the most of things, darling," she said with a decisive nod.
"Okay. But, you know, I was thinking," Twilight looked at the ground. She kicked it with a hoof, then took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I mean, you have more experience in this whole romance thing. And related fields, I assume? I'm sure that there are things you could teach me...."
Rarity looked at the other mare with pity. "Friends, Twilight," she stated softly but insistently.
Twilight Sparkle's gaze returned to the dressmaker. "Why just friends?"
The white unicorn bit her lip, her eyes darting around evasively. "Oh don't make me say it, darling."
"Say what?" the other mare asked, staring blankly.
"Dear... I.... There's no easy way to tell you this," Rarity sighed, "So I just will. I'm out of your league. As in way, way out of your league."
Twilight's head drooped and her ears folded back. "Oh." She stated petulantly.
Rarity put a reassuring hoof on her friend's shoulder, "It's okay Twilight. You're still one of my best friends, and I know there are other mares out there that would be just perfect for you."
"Uglier mares?" Twilight grumbled.
"Nerdier mares." Rarity insisted.
The librarian felt a ghost of a smile upon her face, "...I can live with that."
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UPDATE GOD DAMMIT
Poor Twilight; I think Rarity deserves to be alone until she can get over herself.
Halfway through Chapter 1 I knew that Rarity and Twilight would get matched together. eventually Even still, this remains one of the most refreshingly original and fun fics I've read. Keep up the great work!
Ha, this may be my favorite chapter yet, even though it feels shorter than the others. I didn't look at the word count so maybe it is. And how is it that you made Twilight cursing sound so... sexy?
Keep up the good work!
4623 I think so too. Rarity's more glamorous, but Twilight's cuter.
4623 No you are not.
Twilight's adorkableness knows no bounds!!! 
For some reason I appreciate a serious part of this: just because two people - ponies - have compatible sexual orientations doesn't mean they will fall for each other. This is often neglected in shipfics and clopfics. Kudos!
Wow,
Raritys a d*ck >:|
Somehow I envision these two getting randomly matched a few more times before Rarity finally decides to just go for it.
And then they don't bother using the service anymore.
6210 That would be a welcome
5980 Nope, she's just being honest.
wait what word did twilight use to curse with
rarity is ether (im going to get alot of angry emails for this
) desprete or homosexule
( well in this fan fic
)
plese dont hurt me for the comment
i always though twilight was bi?
4623
We all know Twilight is by far the better looking, and she wouldn't mind getting covered in mud... 
I feel Rarity had to say that to Twilight so she could continue living in her little lie.
4608 I`m just going to reply with...
.... so yes she is a bit.... academically attractive.
457459
Adorkable. I think Adorkable is the word you're looking for.
Saw this one coming. As soon that Rarity said in the first chapter: "and the first m- er, pony they matched me with" I guessed that Rarity wanted to say mare. Truth to be told is that I expected this one later in the story...
Wow, that´s harsh, Rarity.^^;
Especially given how many RarityxTwi fics there are out there.
This story has made me laugh profusely several times now, but I think this is the only time it's made me feel bad...
Once again, this is why Rarity is my least favorite of the Mane 6. I don't dislike her, I just like her the least.
Eh, I disagree with Rarity's belief in "leagues" in general, and I hope Twilight doesn't take it to heart too much.
Guys, get over yourselves. Rarity is fine. We know full well it's just her persona. Twilight is an actual noblemare, Rarity is a country girl. Twilight acts like a country girl and Rarity acts like a noblemare. If they were both acting the way they should be Twi'd likely be turning Rarity down.
Rareity is so full of herself.
"Dear... I.... There's no easy way to tell you this," Rarity sighed, "So I just will. I'm out of your league. As in way, way out of your league."
Twilight's head drooped and her ears folded back. "Oh." She stated petulantly.
Rarity put a reassuring hoof on her friend's shoulder, "It's okay Twilight. You're still one of my best friend, and I know there are other mares out there that would be just perfect for you."
"Uglier mares?" Twilight grumbled.
"Nerdier mares." Rarity insisted.
The librarian felt a ghost of a smile upon her face, "...I can live with that."
I think what Rarity meant by league is their goals in life. For Rarity, it's fashion. For Twilight, it's academics. She didn't mean appearances in the slightest.
Dude. Rarity. Asshole.
Rarity has been a bit annoying in this story, but here she was a bitch, and Twilight should't have have forgiven her so easily. Rarity owes her a very sincere apology.
If I was Twilight I would have been you ain't even that cute. Take away your hair and you're just an albino average chick. Seriously though Rarity won't ever find love if she keeps putting herself on a pedestal. Other ponies are supposed to do that.
Bit of a thread necro three years later, but I had to re-read one of my favorites, Incomplete or not. Still wonderful, Ebon. Here's hoping for the impossible update!
friends
6378193
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for pointing out the typo.