• Published 9th Sep 2011
  • 23,958 Views, 430 Comments

U-Harmony - Ebon Mane

Twilight's curiosity pushes her to go were no bookworm has gone before: On dates.

  • ...

Her League Limits


The card that Twilight had summoned was a joke. It had to be. She glanced at the clock hanging on the library wall. One twenty six. She scanned the card again, then cursed. Her eyes flicked back to the timepeice. One twenty seven. Without thinking, she shouted one of the most profane oaths known to ponykind. Spike, who had been shelving books, stopped to clap slowly, nodding at the librarian with respect clear on his face. "Wow Twilight, I didn't think you had it in you," the dragonling gushed.

Twilight Sparkle was already rushing up the stairs. "Spike, if you ever think about using that word, you'll be eating nothing but coal, granite, and bran muffins for a month!" she called out over her shoulder.

"Bran muffins!?" The dragonling shouted up at her, "Do you want me to chip a tooth?"

The unicorn didn't bother to reply. Bursting through her bedroom door, she wrapped the brush on her dresser in a sheathe of magic and began furiously brushing her hair.

So what if U-harmony had only given her five minutes warning for her date? So what if she only had... Twilight glanced at the nearest clock... two minutes and fifteen seconds to get ready? That didn't mean the date was fated to be a disaster. The mare's eye twitched.

With a minute and thirty seconds left on the clock, Twilight felt the familiar pull of teleportation magic, and disappeared with a flash.


Twilight Sparkle reappeared fully aware, panic warding off any disorientation from the spell. She found herself in a quiet hall, surrounded by display cases filled with an array of glimmering stones; she could feel the latent magic resonating within the gems. A few ponies, mostly older couples and families, were making their slow way through the museum.

The librarian was startled by a flash from behind her, and found that she was still levitating her hairbrush. Without thought, she flung the implement as far as she could in a random direction. She winced at the echoing clatter of wood on tile, then spun to meet her date. She put on a smile that she hoped would appear relatively sane.

There behind the purple-maned unicorn, facing away, was a very familiar pony. White coat, purple tail, three gems on her flank; there was no mistaking it. Rarity was just recovering from being stunned by the sudden transport. Twilight's head tilted as she considered the implications. Her mouth opened, but no sound emerged.

The dressmaker took her time composing herself, then spun gracefully. Her eyes began to sweep the room, and settled almost immediately on her friend. The white-coated unicorn's face took on an expression disturbingly similar to the one Spike got whenever Twilight found him with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Oh, hello Twilight, fancy meeting you here. Coincidentally. What brings you to this museum?" Rarity asked, deliberately casual. Her eyes studied the ceiling intently.

"The same thing that brought you here, Rarity," The other mare deadpanned, "Why didn't you tell me what you were using U-harmony for?"

"Why, what ever do you mean, darling," the fashionista replied, "I'm merely here to look at the... um...," her eyes flicked to a display case, then lit up, "The gems! Ha! I love gems. It makes perfect sense for me to come here and look at these gems." She spared another glance at the glittering stones, then nodded, "So there."

Twilight put a hoof to her face, shaking her head, "Rarity, have you ever heard of trying too hard?"

Rarity preened her impeccably-styled mane with a recently-pedicured hoof. "No," she said simply.

"You do know that I can sense your link to the U-harmony teleportation spell, right?" The other unicorn asked.

The dressmaker chuckled nervously, "What a delightful bluff, dear."

Twilight sighed, and reached out with telekinesis to where she felt the U-harmony card tucked into the other mare's tail. She pulled it out with perhaps a bit more force than necessary, eliciting an indignant cry from the white-coated unicorn. The card floated to the librarian, and she inspected it. "Well, what a surprise. This matches mine. I guess I'm not the only one who checked 'mare for mare', am I?" The librarian asked dryly.

Rarity turned her nose up, "I'll have you know that you can check more than one box." She spun away, focusing intently on the nearest array of gemstones.

Twilight smiled as she shook her head. She walked to stand beside her friend. "Well. This is awkward."

"Yes. Very awkward indeed."

The librarian shifted her weight from side to side. She spoke hesitantly, "So? You're a fillyfooler too? I thought... you know... with that whole prince thing...."

"I've always appreciated all kinds of beauty," the other mare said. Her lips spread into a thin smile, "The... incident with Blueblood has caused me to reconsider my primary focus."

"Ah." Twilight looked away.


They were silent for a long time. Rarity finished scanning the display in front of them, and began to walk slowly from case to case, taking in each in turn. Twilight followed.

Eventually, the librarian found herself asking, "So we're going to...?"

Rarity paused, turning to smile at the other mare. "We're going to enjoy an afternoon out as friends. We might as well make the most of things, darling," she said with a decisive nod.

"Okay. But, you know, I was thinking," Twilight looked at the ground. She kicked it with a hoof, then took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I mean, you have more experience in this whole romance thing. And related fields, I assume? I'm sure that there are things you could teach me...."

Rarity looked at the other mare with pity. "Friends, Twilight," she stated softly but insistently.

Twilight Sparkle's gaze returned to the dressmaker. "Why just friends?"

The white unicorn bit her lip, her eyes darting around evasively. "Oh don't make me say it, darling."

"Say what?" the other mare asked, staring blankly.

"Dear... I.... There's no easy way to tell you this," Rarity sighed, "So I just will. I'm out of your league. As in way, way out of your league."

Twilight's head drooped and her ears folded back. "Oh." She stated petulantly.

Rarity put a reassuring hoof on her friend's shoulder, "It's okay Twilight. You're still one of my best friends, and I know there are other mares out there that would be just perfect for you."

"Uglier mares?" Twilight grumbled.

"Nerdier mares." Rarity insisted.

The librarian felt a ghost of a smile upon her face, "...I can live with that."