BluBerry Muffin is a Pegusus from a hidden land. Brindledale. Shoved behind Cloudsdale, Brindledale has gone into war. Sadly, the war has became even worse. BluBerry was sent out of her home to Ponyville. There she is told to make a freind. One she can trust. But she may have just passed the 'friend zone'.
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Other than that, I think this has some potential! I'll give it a read.
1836418
!]
Yeah. I decided to make-up a town in the sky, because if she came from Cloudsdale [comment has been removed. Reason` Spoilers
P.S. Clop is not used it a bad way in here. :3 i am not that kind of pony. ;)
New Clopsdale. I cannot take this story seriously after reading that.
1844882
To not take it seriously. 
Well. That's the point!
Anyways, I changed it to Brindledale. Better?
New Speaker, New Paragraph. Every time.
If you're doing a good job, your short stories are going to have dialogue, or characters talking to each other. Dialogue helps bring stories to life. Every time you switch speakers, you make a new paragraph. Sometimes this means that your paragraphs are really short, because all a character might say is, "Nope." If that's all he says, though, that is as long as the paragraph needs to be. Another thing to remember is that, if you put the "he said" phrase before the quote, or you character does some action before he speaks, you should make that part of the same paragraph as the quote.