Thirty-Minute Pony Stories

by Silvernis

303 :Pretend

303: PRETEND

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I know everypony thinks I’m stupid. I know they don’t really like me. I know they want to be angry at me when I mix up the mail and drop things and break things. I know they only put up with me because they feel sorry about the accident. Poor thing, they say when they think I can’t hear them, or when they think I don’t understand what they’re saying. She’s such a mess, and she can’t help it.

It’s true. I’m a mess, and I can’t help it. The doctors say it’s brain damage from the crash. They say I’m lucky to be alive even if I can’t see right and I’m clumsy and forgetful and get confused a lot. They tell everypony to be nice to me even if I’m stupid when they think I can’t hear them.

I’m not stupid, though. I’m just slow. It just takes me longer to think about things. That doesn’t mean I’m stupid.

Rainbow Dash isn’t slow, but she can be pretty stupid sometimes.

I still love her.

I guess that’s pretty stupid, isn’t it? Rainbow Dash is fast and funny and strong and so, so beautiful, and I’m me. Why would she like me? Why would she want me the way I want her? Why would anypony want me? I wouldn’t want me. I’d laugh at me and say wow, what a stupid pony. Even if I was normal, I still wouldn’t want me. I’d look at me and see a boring grey pegasus with a boring cutie mark. Who wants a boring pony like that?

Nopony.

So I pretend. When I make breakfast in the morning, sometimes I pretend Rainbow Dash is sitting at the table with me. I put an extra bowl out for her and pour cereal and milk into it and try not to spill too much, and then I sit down across from her and smile at her and thank her for coming over and we eat breakfast together. She’s not really there, though, so I have to eat the extra cereal. It’s soggy and doesn’t taste very good. It makes me feel stupid, because I know she’s not really there and the cereal is soggy, but it makes me feel good, too, even if it’s just pretend, so I keep doing it.

Sometimes I pretend we do other things. Special, special things. Sometimes she runs into my room and says she’s scared of the storm, and can she sleep with me tonight, and of course she can, and then she gets into the bed and we get very warm. Sometimes she’s waiting for me when I come back from brushing my teeth, and she says she wants me and needs me and she can’t wait any more. I tell her that’s how I feel about her, and she cheers and we jump into the bed and get very warm. It makes me feel stupid and I have to do a lot of extra laundry, but it makes me feel good, too. Really, really good. So I keep doing it.

Sometimes I cry when I wake up and I’m all alone again, so I pretend nothing’s wrong. If I really was stupid, I think I’d believe me. But I’m not stupid. I’m just slow.

Author's Note:

Edit: Just doing a little housecleaning with the title. I doubt anyone noticed or cared, but this was originally labeled as 303a. 303b was a philosophical Trixie scene that has since evolved into a small one-shot that I'm currently working on.

Comments

[Rawtooth]

Derpy ... Derpy, no, stop hurting yourself ...

[Silvernis]

2366947
Derpy has always struck me as a character who's probably a lot smarter and deeper (and potentially tragic) than most people/ponies think. The typical fanon stance is that she's Dinky's mom, which is cute, but if she were on her own, I can't help but think that her personal life would be a bit darker.