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Chapter 2: Rough Start1,578 words

Chapter 2: Rough Start

"Wrong Time, Wrong Place"
Chapter 2

By 2TailedDerpy

That comment she made to me had only made my sobs grow stronger. Goddamnit why was she so cute? It's like she knew how to kill me inside! That wall-eyed expression, those big, sparkly derped eyes, her adorable mane and tail. How could I let her see me like this if I was a complete mess? I couldn't help it, my dreams had come true, but at the worst possible time in my life! If anyone saw her here it could mean automatic dishonorable discharge and forfeiture of pay. I could not let that happen, and at the same time, I couldn't let her go if it meant she'd stay in this world. I was not about to let anything happen to her, not if I had anything to say about it.

My other question was, why me? Why of all the people in the world was it me she came to and not to someone whose life wasn't so complicated and could afford to keep a pony? It wasn't really the fact that she was a pony, but a PEGASUS pony. That wouldn't go over so well with Chief Master Sergeants or Commanders of the base, rank Lt. Colonel and higher!

Well no use pondering if I don't have any info on how the hell she got here in the first place. I sucked up my tears (for the most part) and attempted to ask her some questions.

"U... uhm... *ahem*" I shakily started. Damn it, you're a military man, ACT LIKE ONE. "S... so um, what happened to cause you to get to, what it looks like, my bathroom in the middle of the night Miss... uhm...?" I already knew who she was but there were already too many questions to be answered so I just left it at that (of how I don't know who she is to not complicate things further).

"Well uhm..." She started adorably nervous. "Uh my name is Ditzy Doo, but my friends call me Derpy Hooves. I guess people just call me that cuz I'm sort of a klutz since I work as a mail pony and sometimes I just sometimes crash into stuff but..."

"Focus Derpy, just tell me how you got here." Couldn't help but smile at her personality. She was so funny how she got sidetracked, and also every time she blinked her eyes were in a different position.

"Ok well, I was making a delivery to someone in The Everfree Forest by the name of... Zebracora I think? Anyways, I was checking the letter to see the address, and since it was just, you know, The Everfree Forest, I figure I just fly around to find her house (whatever it looked like). I took another look at the letter and I looked up again and ran into a tree. I lost control and was spinning all over the place. I hit my head (I think) and blacked out. Next thing I knew I was in your... toilet... ughhhh."

"I'm so sorry to hear that, uhm, I guess I could let you crash with me. I really don't think anyone else here would really react well to you."

"Why, don't you have talking ponies around here?"

"Not exactly, there aren't any ponies around here, and they certainly don't talk if there were any."

"That's terrible! We should teach them to talk Mister! Let's go right now! This is an emergency!"

"Wait what?" I wasn't about to let her get caught out there and let her get my ass arrested. "No no no, listen, the place you're at now is completely different from your home!"

She was trying to turn the knob on my door to get out in an adorable fashion. "BUT WE GOTTA TEACH THOSE PONIES TO TALK OR I WILL HAVE NO FRIENDS HERE!" She, all of sudden, stopped dead still. "Well, actually, I never really did have friends to begin with... I... always wanted friends. Nobody would talk to me because they said I was different. They said I looked goofy, and talked goofy, and acted goofy and I just wanted to talk to them and they... wouldn't... and..."

She started to silently sob to herself soon afterwards. That broke me up inside, because I wanted to cry so hard too; however, she was in desperate need of someone to talk to. Just as I thought, she was singled out as being too unique. I decided to comfort her as best I could in her new world that she was going to live in.

"Look, everything is going to okay alright?"

"EVERYTHING IS NOT GOING TO OKAY!! NOBODY'S GOING TO BE MY FRIEND NOW!!"

"Hey! Please quiet down okay? Look, trust me when I say that I promise I will be your friend, free of charge, no strings attached."

"YOU'RE LYING!!"

"No please I'm serious Derpy Hooves. To be honest, you're the one thing I wanted to see in this shithole of a life."

She paused for a moment. It looked like the tears stopped flowing. "R...Really? You're not just saying that?"

"No I Pinkie promise I'll be the best friend you ever had and I'll get you a really good muffin and-"

"OHMYCELESTIA, MUFFINS!" After bouncing for a few seconds up and down, she stopped, and started to think a little. "Wait, how did you know I liked muffins so much and about Pinkie promises?"

"Uhmma uhm" CHANGE THE DAMN SUBJECT "uh hey how 'bout I show you my Xbox and the rest of my room eh?

She was still raising an eyebrow, but after a second she gave an "Okie Dokie!" And I proceeded to show her the little amount of things to do in my room.

After playing some first person shooters and some fighting games, I decided it was a good idea to get a quick nap in. She kept getting startled by everything I was doing in the game. It was again, adorable, I couldn't help but d'awww and laugh at the same time. She clung to me hard at one point when I got shot and killed. I stopped dead still and blushed hard, I hoped to Celestia (LOL) she didn't see me because I think I was smiling uncontrollably. After all, I was being hugged by a fan favorite! I think she finally realized what she was doing and quickly let go, followed by a scowl. I couldn't help but giggle a little.

The next day was pretty normal. I decided to go out and get some food at the chow hall for the two of us. I told her, of the rare occasion that somebody DOES inspect the room, hide behind the bed. I got the food and came back, and I was surprised to see that everything was in order. The fact that she didn't knock over a single thing surprised the hell out of me considering her (supposed) record of crashing into stuff and breaking stuff as a mailpony. She saw my wide-eyed expression and responded with a worried one.

"What's the matter, did I do something wrong?" She asked.

"Actually, it's what you didn't do honestly. I thought something would've been knocked over or something." Then as soon as I said it, I regretted saying it at all.

"HEY!! Are you accusing me of being a natural klutz!? Now you're just being mean just because I have crossed eyes and happen to crash into stuff sometimes!"

Well shit, guess I can't really keep this charade going any longer. Do I tell her the truth?

"Alright Derpy, I guess there is something I should show you."

I opened my laptop, typed in "My Little Pony Season 1 Episode 1" into YouTube, and showed her the video.

"We humans have special agents that are able to record footage cross-dimensionally. And then they post the videos on YouTube and wherever you can watch videos on the internet. Usually it takes a long time for them to get juicy footage."

"Wow, you humans have the magic to do that?" She asked.

"Um, yea!" I responded just going with it.

You gotta better excuse if you ever meet an Equine in real life?

"There's even an episode where you were helping Rainbow Dash with the Town Hall."

"OH YEA, I remember that! I loved helping her with that even if she was a bit annoyed with me."

"Hah! Yea..." I laughed. We laughed together. We needed to have something to laugh about for the upcoming day tomorrow.

We laid in bed, after kind of a long, short day and talked a bit.

"So, we really are friends then?" Derpy asked me.

"Yes." I responded.

"Promise?"

"I Pinkie promise."

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