I was in a suit... for the goddesses’ sake I was in a suit. Again. I fidgeted uncomfortably, one wing and one arm still in a cast. The cracked ribs were healed, but it was gonna be awhile before I’d fly again. About a month apparently, but at least the cast on my arm would be off this weekend.
Some of the ponies in the restaurant were giving me odd looks, but whatever. They could fuck themselves. Not my fault I got my bones broken saving a bloody nation. Trixie though, she looked completely fucking gorgeous in a sexy ass blue dress. I looked like a damn penguin. Seriously, I don’t care what Trixie thought, I looked retarded all dressed up like I was. I mean, a business suit and sunglasses? It was like I was trying to look like a Con Mane villain or some shit. Especially with all the broken bones I had.
But still... it was kinda hard to keep my eyes off Trixie. Something about a pony in clothes... No clue why, but everything just looked better when it was hidden away.
“So, what are you ordering?” I asked Trixie to get the conversation going. I’d gone through the menu, and the only meat they offered was fish... so that was what I was having.
“The orechiette with broccoli rabe and chickpeas,” she replied happily.
I glanced at the menu again before I tried to wave the waiter over again. “So, how are we paying for this anyway?” I glanced over at Trixie.
“Worry not, Trixie has a plan, feel free to order the most expensive dishes on the menu,” she whispered before turning to the waiter. “A bottle of your finest Canterlot Belair, and Trixie shall have the orechiette please.”
“Of course Madame, and for your...” he glanced at me before looking back to Trixie, “Bodyguard?”
“I’ll have the marinated salmon, dick cream.” I told him pleasantly. “And just water.”
He blinked and glanced at me, before he looked back at Trixie, as if for permission.
“The salmon and a bottle of your finest whiskey,” she said with a polite smile.
I held up my good hand. “No wait, just the...” But he was already gone. My shoulders slumped before I looked back at Trixie in annoyance. “I said water.”
“Sorry, I figured you’d prefer scotch, but didn’t want to annoy me. If you want, I can call him back and change the order...”
“I’ve been trying to quit drinking, remember?” I scratched the back of my head. “Remember, after that time I...” I trailed off. I wasn’t going to talk about the time I tried to slash my wrists with a broken wine bottle. “I mean... I know I haven’t made things easy on you since...” Crap. I couldn’t even say Grace’s name anymore. “Uh... sorry, don’t worry about it. I’ll just not drink anything.”
“No.” She forced me to look at her, and ignoring all the eyes on us, she leaned across and kissed me lovingly on the beak. “You stay right here and I will order some water for us. And you’re worth it, alright? So stop apologizing.”
With that she stood up and sauntered after the waiter. When I say sauntered, I mean walked like she wanted everyone to know she was the hottest damn thing in the room. I wasn’t the only one watching. A couple stallions were not-so-subtly drooling, a couple of others were watching more discreetly, and if any of them tried anything I’d break so many of their bones that the boners they have will be the only solid thing on them.
When Trixie came back I was still busy death staring every male in the room. And that one mare in the corner. I wasn’t sure she was a fillyfooler, but I wasn’t taking any chances with her butch mane cut. As Trixie sat down, she tossed me that smile of hers before making it very clear to everypony present that I was hers and hers alone with a passionate and lust-filled kiss.
When we separated, some ponies were gaping in horror, others were looking away in disgust. That mare in the corner just seemed too shocked for words.
I smirked back at my Trixie. “You’ve got no shame, do you?”
“What can I say? You corrupted me.” She leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Not to mention some of these ponies look as though they have a silver spoon permanently lodged in their plot.”
I glanced around the room again before I looked back at Trixie. “Some of them? They all look like pricks to me.”
“No, some of them look like they’ve got a firework up there, not a silver spoon.” Before I got the chance to reply, she licked my cheek and sat down.
The waiter came back over with our food and drinks, and we both began to eat. Even before we started, I knew it wasn’t as good as it looked.
“Ponies. Cannot. Cook. Meat,” I muttered as I forked in another mouthful. “Seriously. How much do you think this’ll cost?”
“Some ridiculous amount no doubt,” replied Trixie as she took a bite out of her own dish. “Look on the bright side, Trixie is improving at least.”
I nodded. “Well, how’s your... thing.” I still couldn’t even get that dish’s name right.
“It’s... passable...” A snort escaped as she looked around. “This place sucks.”
“I know!” I relaxed and shoved the plate away from me. “I could cook better than this.”
“Agreed. At least the wine is good.” A smirk appeared on her muzzle. “Time to blow this joint.”
I stared at her for a moment. “We’re not paying are we?”
“Of course!Especially not with such terrible food.” She took another bite out of the dish before corking the wine bottle. “You ready?”
I rolled my neck, and glanced at the waiters in the room, and bouncers by the door. “Please. With everything we’ve been through, do you even have to ask? I could be tied to the ground and this’d still be easy.”
“Smoke and mirrors,” said Trixie as her horn began glowing again. “Window to our right, try not to hurt yourself too much getting out.”
I rolled my eyes. “Even with my leg broken I can outpace you any day. Me, hurt myself? Please, not unless it’s deliberate.” I grimaced the moment I made that joke. Classy me. Really classy.
“But you won’t do that again, will you?” she asked pointedly.
I opened my beak to promise her not, but... just last night I made myself a noose from some bath towels. I didn’t use it, and I burned it before Trixie saw it, but I’d spent half an hour setting the damn thing up and just staring at it.
I had no answer for her, and painful silence was all I could give her. After a moment I shrugged.
“Oh Gilda...” Despite the table between us, she hugged me tight. “I’m here for you, you know that right?”
“I know... and if you weren’t...” I sighed. “Some mornings it’s just... All I can do is lie next to you and cry and pray that you don’t wake up. And...other times it’s so bad, when I look at you all I can think about is how I killed him to save you and...” I let out a deep breath of air. “And I’m still having those dreams, but they’re worse now. I... Goddesses, I’m a mess.”
Trixie cradled my head against her chest as she ran her magic through my crown feathers in the way that I liked. All the while, she hummed a soft song under her breath so that the only one who could hear was me.
“And... and... and... sometimes I see him. I don’t know why, but... I see him standing there and smiling and acting like we’re just cubs again... like nothing ever went wrong.”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I wish there was something I could do to help...”
“You’re doing everything you can.” I assured her. “Without you I wouldn’t have made it past the first week.” I swallowed. “I mean... you talked me out of that...” Goddesses I hate that there are so many fucking things I can’t say anymore. Just fucking say it and get it done. “That time I tried to drown myself!” I practically spat it out, like it was poison. Even though there was nothing there, I could still feel the stone I’d tied digging into my wrists.
A couple of ponies looked at us oddly, but one glare from Trixie shut them up. “Come on, we might as well get going.” The grin she gave me was infectious. “Time to blow this joint.”
I smiled back at her, till a thought crossed my mind and the smile dropped for a second as I remembered one detail about Trixie’s idea of fun, and one thing that did make her smile. “You mean we should bolt, right? Not blow this place up?”
“Please, the food here isn’t that bad.” If anything, her smile became wider. “Maybe I should take up the food critic job. If it’s perfect then Trixie pays, if it’s bad we bolt, and if it’s crap we blow the joint up!”
I blinked at her. “I’m not sure that’s something you could get paid for, just arrested.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, it was a great idea and you know it.” Grabbing her cape from off the back of the chair, she tied it around her neck. “Ready? I think we’re starting to attract attention.”
I nodded at her and stood up. “Let’s ditch this shit-hole.”
We both turned stepped away from the table towards the front door, just as the waiter came over and blocked our path.
“Madame, you’ve forgotten the cheque.” He bowed at Trixie while keeping an eye on us.
We exchanged a look before we both bolted for the door. The waiter shouted out in surprise, and the two bouncers stepped out to block us, only for their flying tackles to pass straight through Trixie’s illusions.
The real me, the one that was invisible, put a chair through a window and dove through. I heard Trixie laughing beside me as we ran, and I glanced over my shoulder at the two confused bouncers chasing after us. Damn, they were moving kinda fast. Or maybe I was just moving slow because I only had three legs to use. I snatched the shadows around their hooves, and they tripped onto their faces.
We rounded a corner, and I drew to a surprised halt. In front of us was a line of Royal Guards. I turned to run the other way, when a line of pegasi blocked that exit. Trixie immediately stepped forward and began bowing.
“Thank you! Thank you all! The Great and Powerful Trixie will be performing all week.”
Immediately, she was surrounded by the auras of several unicorns, and cut off from her magic. I didn’t bother putting up a fight as magical chains were slapped onto us, and bulky white earth ponies stepped in to stop us struggling.
“Really? Royal Guards for a dine and dash?” I glanced over at Trixie. “Seems like a whole lot of guards for just two petty criminals.”
“Obviously the skills Trixie demonstrated awed them into seeking her out to name her Court Magician.”
I just stared at her. “Really, Trix? Really?”
“What? It was worth a try.” She smiled sheepishly as she tilted her hat back. “Plus, it could happen.”
“No it couldn’t.” One of the unicorn guards stepped forwards, and snatched the sunglasses off my face. “Hey!” I glared at him, and he blinked in surprise at my eyes. “You want to get fucked up the ass by your own horn?!”
The unicorn glanced at my eyes before he turned around, and said to some officer I didn’t recognize, “It’s them.”
I scrunched up my eyes and wanted to facepalm. “Fuck... They’re here for us, Trix.” I wanted to punch someone right then.
She seemed to feel the same way as me for she lowered herself into an aggressive stance and a small growl came out of her mouth. “Touch her and Trixie will personally rip off your horn and fuck you with it.”
The unicorn glanced between the two of us before he turned around. “Definitely them.”
They started pushing us towards an armored sky wagon, and I winced in pain as something touched my bad wing. “Watch it asshole!” I snapped at the earth pony that was shoving me.
He didn’t answer us, and slammed shut the door, a heavy bolt locking it in place.
With a sigh, I sat down, and Trixie sat on the bench next to me. I leaned back against the wall, while she rested her head against my chest.
“Mother fucker,” I cursed to no one in particular.
Though the castle walls had been soundproofed, Celestia could still hear the sounds of argument just outside her chambers. It wasn’t a rare occurrence, so the alicorn merely turned a page with an idle hoof as she continued reading the fascinating psychological study on-
With an ear cocked, she glanced over at the door in surprise. Usually it took an hour before the noble could be convinced to leave. Perhaps the guards deserved a pay rise after all. With a shrug, she returned to the article only for the sound of metal clashing on metal to reach her ears. After a second, all was peaceful once more.
Celestia glanced over the clock and sighed. Really, was it so hard to keep appointments these days? She even left the window open and decreased the guard in order to help, but no. Somehow, just somehow, she managed to be late.
Of course, that’s exactly when the door decided to burst open, slamming into the wall with enough force to crack it. In flew one guard, quickly followed by the second and without even looking up from the page, Celestia teleported both back to their barracks and closed the door.
“Really Lulu, I left the window open for you.”
There was a moment of silence before the hood was lowered. “Really Celly, dost thou need to steal all our thunder? And thou could at least greet thy sister properly.”
Celestia lowered her book and looked up. “I thought you would appreciate the chance to talk about a few things in a more businesslike manner. I know you’re not fond of the more open affections my little ponies enjoy these days.”
“Things change sister, a fact thou have sought to remind us of at every opportunity.” Luna walked past and strolled out onto the balcony. “Things change. The Equestria of today is not the Equestria of a thousand years ago. Times change, and so do We.”
“Speaking of changes, I love your new mane style... or should I say, your old one?” Celestia gave a small smile. “In either case, did you enjoy your trip to the Kingdom?”
There was a moment of silence as Luna stared at her sister in complete shock before she burst out laughing. “Of course, it was rather foalish of us to try to hide our actions. Our trip was informative.”
“Oh, of that I have no doubt.” Celestia sighed. “It will take years to find suitable leadership for the gryphons again. The only other tribe with the power to really hold the clans together is the Great Scars, but they lack the...” She waved a hoof, “Ambition to take on the role of the Black Eyes.” After another moment, Celestia stood up from her throne and trotted to her sister. “So, where did you learn the ritual from?”
“Does it matter? The nightkin will return, and this time, they will be embraced by the populace.”
Celestia fought the urge to groan. “Luna... you remember the last nightkin, don’t you? I certainly do. Why would you want more of them? What possible place could they have in a modern Equestria?”
“The last nightkin were ruled by Nightmare Moon. This new generation will have free will, independence, and us.” For a brief second, anger flashed in her eyes. “Thou will not deny us this.”
“Free will, independence,” Celestia summoned up a collection of files and displayed them before her sister, “And a criminal record. Honestly Lulu, surely you could have picked a better first nightkin than a murderous alcoholic with ties to foreign intelligence?”
“Thou make it sound as though We had a choice.” Luna examined her hoof in the moonlight. “And Gilda will make a fine nightkin, provided she gets over her... issues.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Provided she gets over her issues,of which she has many. That’s also assuming I don’t have her executed for twenty two counts of murder. I wasn’t even aware we had a multiple murderer living in Canterlot until I did some research into her. Not to question your judgment sister, but perhaps the new nightkin could start with a less... troubled, pony?”
“Of course, but Gilda will still make a fine nightkin. Almost as good as Slight in fact.”
Celestia winced. “And that might just be what I’m worried about sister. Slight was... far from a paragon. I’m not sure if you ever read Curse of the Everfree, but it is quite the disturbing little collection of stories. Though they are all exaggerated, there’s a reason she’s remembered as a demonic madmare.”
“Driven to insanity by loss and love,” replied Luna. “We imagine Rainbow Dash would be the same if pushed far enough and thy personal protégé would be more destructive if thou were exiled to the moon for a thousand years.”
“True...” Celestia conceded. “But Gilda is not a potentially dangerous individual, she is a dangerous individual.”
“And? She does not wish to cause harm except to those who endanger those she loves. She does not wish to overthrow us or attack us. As long as she is left alone, she will be fine, and even then We can take her down.”
“It’s not our safety I’m worried about, dear sister, but the safety of my little ponies. So pardon me for not being enthusiastic about more nightkin. Even if what you say is true, and the ritual did not turn them into deranged sociopaths, I’m unconvinced you even need to reforge the nightkin. Why not just select regular ponies and leave it at that? Do you truly need to grant them abilities beyond their natural gifts?”
“We could rework the ritual to take out the gifts if thou insists, but We wish to retain their... aesthetic appearances. We understand We no longer require the extra abilities to keep Equestria safe, so we shall concede that point.”
“It’s not the powers that concern us Luna, it’s the ritual in and of itself. Even its origins are bathed in blood, and speaking of blood, it requires blood magic to work. Something I went to great pains to outlaw. This research has yet to produce anything good. It transformed you into Nightmare Moon, it created a horde of monsters, it created the nightkin, a race of remorseless zealots and murderers, and it created Slight. I’m not sure how much you remember of her, but if you remember anything, you’ll remember just how much damage she did.”
“Celestia,” Luna spoke in an icy whisper, “Shut the fuck up.”
Celestia blinked in shock and stared at her sister. “Lulu?”
“The ritual did not create Nightmare Moon, the nightkin are not a race of remorseless zealots and murders, and Slight is a pony comparable to Rainbow Dash or Twilight Sparkle. So please, shut the fuck up.” There was a beat of silence before Luna began giggling. “Oh dear, ‘fuck’ is such a nice word isn’t it?”
There was another moment of silence, before Celestia shook her head and turned away. “I hope you don’t plan on using it in public. In any case, why do you need the nightkin in the first place?”
“They deserve a place in society as much as any other race. Plus, we are rather fond of them and their bat wings.” Luna leapt off the balcony, hovering in the air with the moon to frame her. “And excuse us while We go and rescue two certain beings from thy dungeon.”
“Actually, that was something I was meaning to discuss with you.” Celestia called out to her. “Just what to do with those two. Trixie seems harmless enough, but Gilda has committed numerous crimes, and on her own, presents a significant threat to the wellbeing of my little ponies. What would you have me do with her?”
“Thou shalt do nothing of course. In fact, thou shalt find they shall be released on the promise of seeking psychological help, funded by the treasury of course.” She smirked down at Celestia. “After all, who wants another crazy nightkin running around?”
“The easier solution would be to have her executed.” Celestia sighed. “She’s done more than enough to earn one.”
“We think thou shalt find executions are now illegal.” After a second she added, “And with thoughts like those, thou wouldst get along with Nightmare Moon splendidly.”
Celestia grit her jaw and gazed up at her sister. “I would prefer not to joke of that. I care for my little ponies more than anything, more than even you sister. Whether they be earth pony, pegasus, unicorn, or even gryphon, or minotaur, -”
“But not nightkin,” she snapped. “Thou love them as long as they love you. As long as they worship thee. We hath already given thou various concessions and reassurances and yet thou still fights us. Why?”
“Because I don’t want to lose you again!” Celestia hissed. “I don’t want to lose you to the whispers in your mind for the memory of a dead mare! Because anything to do with that wretched substance has only brought pain and misery! Because if it turns you back into Nightmare Moon I’ll have no choice but to banish you again! The stuff was what killed Aurora, Lulu. Don’t you remember her, and what it did to her? Why do you need to bring it back! You like their appearance? Then simply cast an illusion spell on some pegasi!”
All that could be heard in the heavy silence was the sound of metal hitting stone. Looking down, Celestia blinked in surprise at the engagement ring that landed at her hoof.
“Oh yes, We remember Aurora. She was such a feisty one, she treated us as though We were just another pony and not royalty.” Luna turned a tear stained and very angry gaze at Celestia. “Apparently thou felt keeping us safe justified thou keeping our memories from us. At any moment thou could hath told us about our past, but thou did not. Thou preferred to keep us in the dark to save us from ourselves.”
The dark alicorn spat on the ground.
“This is about love, something thou probably do not understand. Whether that is due to thy cold heart or the fact that thou hast the love of all our little ponies is another question. This is thy one and only warning, the nightkin shall return whether thou wish it or not. Welcome with open hooves or hostility, it matters not, but they will return.”
There were a few moments of silence. “Lulu... I’m sorry. I should not have mentioned Aurora, that was... tactless. But yes, I kept the memory from you. Because that was the memory that turned you into Nightmare Moon in the first place.That, and the chemicals that to this day you insist on flirting with. I would do anything to keep my little ponies safe. I would do almost anything to keep you safe. In this case, both those desires were one and the same.”
“Regardless, We hath said what We wished to say. How thou act is thy decision.”
Celestia sighed. “If thou are going to create the nightkin again, of course I will help. They can be outfitted from the Royal Guard’s forges and trained as you see fit, but if something goes wrong again, they are not returning. This is their last chance. And you better take a strong interest in their wellbeing, I will not tolerate it if you abuse your ‘pets’. And you will control their breeding. Call it a probationary existence if you like, but until they prove themselves, I will not have a fourth pony tribe.”
“We will not control their breeding.”
“Why not?” Celestia sighed.
“Do thou truly need to ask?”
“No, but I would still like to hear your reasoning.”
“Invasion of privacy, negative right to reproduction, the fact that no other species anywhere has ever been under the same restrictions, racial equality... Need We go on?”
Celestia rolled her eyes. “Well the nightkin surely count as an exception if no other race does. And they’re not a natural born species. Do they even have a right to exist?”
“Does a child born from magic for same sex couples have a right to exist?”
“Of course it does, but a child from a same sex couple is not a magically charged monster dredged from the nightmares of small foals.”
“So if said child looks ugly then it doesn’t have a right to exist?”
“Now you’re just being ridiculous. An ugly child is not a nightkin, Luna.”
“So... if Twilight Sparkle was born to a same sex couple via magic and she was ugly she doesn’t have a right to exist?” asked Luna with a confused expression on her face.
“There are no issues with the ugly child, or the same sex couple!” Celestia snapped. “The nightkin is the problem here!”
“Thou said they are not naturally born hence the magical child comparison. Thou said they are apparently the thing of nightmares hence the ugly comparison. Oh, and just for the record, We find them adorable.”
Celestia sighed. “Fine then. Of course, the nightkin were nocturnal, so a foal born to them will have trouble attending regular schools and acquiring a normal education. But fine. If you refuse to control their breeding until they prove themselves, I doubt I will be able to convince you otherwise. That still leaves the matter of just what to do with this gryphon.”
“Psychological help provided by the state.” Luna coughed into her hoof. “We might be responsible for some of the damage done...”
Celestia frowned. “What did you do?”
“Nightmare Moon might have lusted after Gilda, and she might have performed the ritual on her without consent, and it might have bound the gryphon to Nightmare Moon’s will, and we might have allowed it to happen so we could figure out the actual ritual before freeing her, and Trixie might have almost died trying to save Gilda.”
Celestia just stared at Luna before she put a hoof to her face. “I think she’ll need more than one psychologist.”
“Agreed.”
“Are there any more issues I should know about?” Celestia shook her head in annoyance. “She didn’t happen to get molested by a minotaur, or witness her family’s death, or anything as severe as that?”
“Hm... She might have killed her twin brother?” For once, Luna actually looked sheepish. “We are not clear on the details, but it might have happened?”
Celesta looked up at Luna. “Remind me again why we should be helping someone who would murder their own kin. And this was after she became a nightkin, or before?”
“After she became a nightkin, when the gryphon king decided to load up the weather factory above Aviana with the chemical, without the blood mind thee, to change the entire poulation into monsters to fight the equally monstrous changelings that they had been experimenting on.” Pause. “Yes, that sounds about right.”
Celestia sighed again. “For some reason, I doubt she will be accepting any help that you would offer.”
“Which is why thou shalt be offering it, and why thou shalt tell the showmare,” smirked Luna.
“In any case, it would be better than letting her go free.” Celestia muttered. “Very well then Luna. But I have to ask, are you helping her because you want her for your guard, or are you helping her because you actually feel responsible?”
“We help her because she deserves it.”
Celestia blinked in confusion. “Deserves it? As near as I can tell, her personal history has earned her a prison sentence.”
“She deserves it,” growled Luna.
“She’s a murderer, Luna. Once we started to look into her more closely, we discovered her involvement in a string of missing pony and unsolved murder cases. It’s possible she killed her first pony at age thirteen.” Celestia shook her head in irritation. “Why aren’t we convicting her?”
“Because We said so.”
“Can you provide any better reasoning that?” Celestia groaned. “Or is this really just a whim?”
“Our reasons are of no concern to thou.”
“Yes they are Luna.” Celestia growled. “Of course they concern me. I’m your sister and I’m worried for your wellbeing. Of course I’m worried when you want to pardon a murderer and not give me a reason why.”
“Underneath all that, she is a good gryphon. Perhaps if thou talked to her rather than just read some facts off a page, thou wouldst know that,” Luna snapped.
Celestia sighed. “Fine. We shall let justice go undone, but she is not leaving Canterlot, and she’s certainly not being permitted near Ponyville again.”
“They both hate Ponyville anyway.”
“Yes, the trained and experienced killer despises Ponyville and its residents. That does not comfort me.”
“Stop being so dramatic, they will be fine.”
“I certainly hope so. The wellbeing of the Elements weighs on my mind far more heavily than the wellbeing of some nightkin.” She sighed. “Truly, why her? Why on earth would Nightmare choose her to be a nightkin?”
“Because she loved the gryphon.”
Celestia blinked. “Truly? If it was love, then why would she steal her free will? Or transform her at all for that matter. It’s hardly a romantic gesture.”
“This is Nightmare Moon we’re talking about.”
“True.” Celestia sighed. “Very well, go do as you see fit. But you are going to have to explain to me just what happened on your trip in full detail. I am curious to know the full story.”
“Of course dear sister, as if We would do anything else.”
“Well given that you hid the existence of Nightmare Moon from me for so long, you can understand why I felt the need to say so.”
“Yes. Well. Er...”
“Just go. Do what needs to be done.” She sighed. “Despite all this, I am truly joyful to have you back. And I mean actually back, not as a petulant filly, but as you once were.”
Luna laughed at that and nodded. “So are We sister dearest. So are We.”
My second stay in a Canterlot dungeon was different from my first. This time, I was conscious when I got there and I wasn’t woken up by a scuffling rat and a pounding hangover. Also different? The eight Royal Guard unicorns watching my every move. It was really fucking creepy with the way they were standing there. I would’ve thrown something at them if I had the chance, but short of crapping in my hand I had nothing to work with.
Speaking of shit... “Hey, what if I need to go to the bathroom?” I asked, and a few of them blinked in surprise but didn’t answer. “I mean, are you going to take me to the toilet or just watch while I crap on the floor?”
There were a few coughs and shuffles, but no answer.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Fucking great...”
Awkward silence! Gotta love it.
“So, uh... why’d you guys arrest me anyway? If it’s for that dine and dash, we were totally going to pay that guy back.”
I knew that wasn’t why we were under arrest, but I was also really bored.
“I’m gonna jerk off right here, if any of you want to join me, just open the cage and hop right in.”
That got a few coughs and uncomfortable shuffles. One of them actually seemed kinda interested so I glared at him.
“Fuck, you thought I was for real? You’re either fucked up, or retardedly desperate.”
He glanced around, before he realized I was talking to him.
“Yeah, that’s right I’m talking to you shit brain. I saw you looking interested.”
“I wasn’t-” Another guard hit him over the back of the head.
“Shut up. No talking.” The second guard ordered both of us.
I rolled my eyes and sat back down.
Just then, the sound of door opening reached us and a moment later Trixie appeared, surrounded by some more Royal Guards.
I stood up and stepped up to the bars. “Trixie! They didn’t hurt you did they?” She didn’t look hurt. “What did they want? Do you know what’s happening?”
“We’re not being arrested and we’re free to stay in Equestria,” she replied as she smacked one of her guards with her tail. “Though there are some strings attached.”
“Bull shit!” I spat. “After the crap we’ve been through, how the fuck is that fair?”
“Well the conditions are actually reasonable, and Trixie may have already agreed to them.”
I blinked at her. “What? Why should we have to agree to anything?”
“Because part of the deal is you seeing a psychologist three times a week. A very famous, well respected psychologist.” Trixie began walking towards me, her eyes daring me to interrupt. “And it’s all for free as well. Paid out of the royal coffers.”
“I... what?” I blinked in confusion. “Why the heck would they want me to see a psychologist?” After a moment I added, “Or is that something you negotiated in?”
“It was something they offered. The deal was the psychologist and not being bothered, and in turn we have to live in Canterlot and stay outside of Ponyville for now, not tell anyone about what happened, keep your... unique situation on the low, and not stir up trouble.”
After a moment’s thought I frowned. “Why would they do that? They could just send us to jail, or slit our throats and dump us in a back alley. Seems easier to me than having to put up the cash for a decent shrink three times a week.”
“Because We convinced Celly to not execute thee.” The moment I heard that voice, I felt Hate and Anger rear in my mind. It was easy to slap them back down, but that reaction was still there.
I grit my beak and glanced over at... “Who are you?” I asked the big blue alicorn with the starry wavy mane and Luna’s cutie mark. “Luna?”
“Correct.” She turned to the guards. “Leave us.”
They hesitated. One of them spoke up. “Princess, we’ve been instructed by Celestia that this gryphon is to be watched at all times and-”
“Leave us,” she repeated, except this time, echoes of power bled into her words.
This time they didn’t hesitate, and left the room pretty damn quickly.
“Pussies,” I muttered.
“Agreed.” Luna looked back at me. “We came here to apologize for what happened. For now, this is all We can do, but We wish to let thee know that We are in thy debt and that thou can call on us if thou art ever in danger. Furthermore, We shall be providing thee with a monthly stipend and a place of residence of thy choosing. We know this will not make up for what happened, but We hope it is a start.” A pause and just as I was about to get over my shock, she added, “Thy marriage will also be paid in full and We shall preside over it if thou wishes.”
After a moment I said the first words to come to mind. “Fuck off.”
Luna merely burst laughing. “That can be easily arranged.” She tossed a bottle at my feet. “That’s dragonfire in there. Uncork it and let it burn any parchment and it shall be immediately transferred to us.”
I snatched up the bottle, and pitched my arm to throw it against a wall. “Fuck. Off.” I heaved it as hard as I could, but it just clunked into the wall and bounced to the ground.
“Very well.” With a simple nod to Trixie, she left the cell. “Thy first appointment with the psychologist is tomorrow. Do not be late please.”
“No, I mean let me the fuck go!” I shouted at her. “I don’t want you help, I don’t want anything to do with you! Let me and Trixie go, damn it! What more could you possibly want from me?”
“Nothing. Except our sister wishes to kill thee, and this was the only way to convince her otherwise.” Luna paused just outside the jail door. “But both of thou are indeed free. Though thou could try to run and hide, it is unwise, and Celly will kill thou without a second thought. We suggest staying and seeing this through.”
I seethed and grit my beak. I stepped into the shadows on the wall, and stepped out of them between Luna and the exit. “Why the fuck does Celestia want us dead?”
“Slight and Nightmare Moon.”
“What have they got to do with anything?”
“One’s a nightkin that she remembers as being evil and the other may have been from Us ingesting the chemicals.” A small chuckle echoed through the room. “Neither of which are true, but that’s Celly for thou.”
I took a step back. “And what if I’d rather die? What if I’d prefer to get my throat cut before I take handouts from you?”
Trixie cleared her throat very loudly.
Oh. Shit.
“I’ve got a point, don’t I?” I asked Trixie. “Neither of you even bothered to ask me about this before both of you decided I needed to see some stupid prick shrink.”
“Okay, so maybe I should have asked first, but seeing you like this hurts alright?” Trixie sighed and hugged me. “I just want you to get better.”
I hugged her back, and swallowed. “I know I need help, but do I really need a shrink? I don’t want to have to deal with some shit brained egghead trying to ask me about stupid shit like feelings and what a crap stain looks like.”
“Well it can’t hurt to try right?” Trixie glanced over at Luna. “And Trixie can go with her right?”
Luna merely nodded.
“Why’s Trixie a part of this deal?” I asked Luna suddenly. “Why can’t she go? She’s not a nightkin.”
“She can go, she just does not wish to,” replied Luna.
“Why are you even trying to help anyway?” I muttered at her, but didn’t really care about the answer. I hugged Trixie closer grateful for having her with me. “And why the fuck would we even invite you to a wedding, let alone have you preside over it?” If Trixie wanted me to see a psychiatrist, I was gonna see one. I was still gonna fight tooth and nail to get out of it. “Fuck, who even says we’re getting married?”
“Our reasons are our own,” she replied. “And it was merely an offer. Nothing more, nothing less. The decision lies with thou.”
“What’s Nightmare think if this?” I asked. “This some other damned plan you’ve got cooked up to get more shit out from us?”
“Nightmare no longer exists.”
I blinked. “What?”
“Nightmare Moon no longer exists.”
“How?” I frowned. “What happened to her?”
“We became one, as was proper.”
After a moment of staring I snorted. “So I was right? You were Nightmare, Nightmare was you.”
“Yes. Yes thou were.” She almost looked annoyed at that.
I chuckled. “And I was honestly just trying to convince you to kill me.”
“Gilda...” warned Trixie.
I frowned at her. “I’m sick of dancing around this shit. From now on I’m just saying it. If I nearly fucking killed myself, I’m just gonna say it.”
There was a moment of silence as Trixie’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly before she sighed and her shoulders slumped. “Fine.”
We stood in awkward silence for a moment. “Speaking of which... I should probably tell you that last night I made a noose.”
“You what!?”
I stood my ground. “I ripped up some towels and made a noose while you were asleep. I burned it before you woke up.”
“I-You-Bu-Wha-” I suddenly found myself pinned to the ground as Trixie pounded my chest with a hoof. “You foal! Y-You worthless piece of scum! I can’t believe you. You-” Hot tears splashed down against my cheek.
My bad wing was killing me because I was lying on it, but I didn’t stop her from hitting me. “Sorry,” I mumbled, and shifted so most of my weight wasn’t on that limb. “It’s just... really hard some nights when I’m alone and you’re in bed.”
“I’m always there for you. Just wake me up or something you silly gryphon.”
I stood up, and put my arms over her shoulder. “And sometimes I think that if I wake you up you’ll just stop me, or you’ll just see it when I...” Trailing off, I jerked a thumb across my neck.
“Gilda...” If anything she began crying harder now. “This is why I agreed...”
I swallowed as I stared at her. “I might need help after all...”
“Yes, yes you do.”
I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “Alright Luna,” I looked over at her. “I’ll see the fucking shrink. But if that prick asks me about my childhood, I’m punching him in the face. Or about Grace, or about Calisto, or about Dash or that pink bitch, or about you, or... Shit. I should just write a list, shouldn’t I?”
“Yes.” She looked way too amused for my liking.
“Anyway, so... what next?” I looked at Luna. “That’s it? We’re free to go as long as we don’t break those rules, and I’ll never have to see you again?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not gonna show up on my door ever again, and I’ll never get roped into another fucked up mission, and you’re not gonna make me kill anymore of my family? I’m never, ever, going to see you again, unless you’re walking down the street or some shit, and even then you’re gonna turn around and walk the other way without saying a damn thing? I’m absolutely never going to have to see you again?”
“Yes,” she replied with a smirk on her face.
“Good.” I turned around. “Come on Trixie, let’s get the fuck out of here.”
“With pleasure.”
I glanced over my shoulder at Luna, and she was still smirking for some reason. Looking ahead I just shook my head and ignored that feeling in my gut. “Bloody goddesses.” Whatever, I was just being paranoid. Forget about it.
Was it pride I was feeling? Or perhaps it was love. Emotions had never been my strongest suit, but whatever it was, it bubbled away inside me as I looked down at the pony fondly. A part of me wanted to believe this was what mothers felt when they first gazed upon their foal for the first time, but I knew that was sheer stupidity. These weren’t my children, but at the same time I couldn’t help but gaze upon them fondly.
Sure, he was a quivering wreck, unable to even stand on his own four hooves, but still. There was something there, a yearning, a desire to reach out and hold him close. But that would be un-princessly and I still had an image to maintain. Perhaps at a later date, once I had caught up on what was permissible in this day and age.
So instead, I simply inclined my head to the doctors on standby and they immediately rushed to his side, bundling him up in a layer of blankets and giving him some sugary drink to get his energy up. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I thought I saw him mouth a ‘thank you’ to me. Though that might have been directed at the doctors. Still, he had volunteered and seemed rather eager in the interview, so perhaps...
Sighing, I shook my head.
“Princess Luna, that’s all the applicants,” said the guard beside me. A Celestial Guard. A Day Guard. Sometimes having an overprotective alicorn who rules a nation as a sister was seriously annoying.
“Three.” There was a faint hint of surprise in my voice. “Three more than We expected. Very well, leave us be.”
She hesitated for a brief second before bowing. With a gesture to all those in the room, they began filing out. There was little doubt in my mind that every single last one of them was a secret operative of the highest caliber sent to keep an eye on me and each of the new nightkin. A couple weeks ago I would have been angry, but now it was just tiresome. She meant well, even if it made me want to slam my head into a wall.
With a touch of magic, I locked down the entire room before teleporting back to my room. I reappeared on my balcony, overlooking the city below me. To think all those small moving dots were ponies out at night. And there, off in the distance, was a house lit up like the sun. From what Celly had said, a certain DJ Pon-3 worked there. I shall have to pay the establishment a royal visit sometime in the future just to see what it is ponies do at night.
A small giggle escaped at that thought. To think! Ponies actually enjoyed spending time out at night now.
A sad sigh escaped.
“We wish thou could be here to see this Love. They like the night now, they enjoy it, they do not fear us.” I held out the engagement ring before me. “Thou made this possible. It was thy intelligence, thy wit, thy brilliance. Thou were the mastermind behind the project, thou gave me that spark. Without thee, we would be nothing. Aurora, my love, We wish you could be here to see this all happen. The nightkin shall be our gift to the world. Something born from our love.Something that thou could be remembered by. Perhaps thou were right and We hath gone ‘sappy’ in our old age, but...”
I teleported a champagne glass before me. “A toast to our love and to a bright future for our children.” I raised the glass towards the stars that made up The Lady. “Wherever thou art, We hope thou art proud.”
Whelp, that was fun. It's over. Actually, it's been over for a long time, we finished writing this months ago, it's just now it's finished for you people. Big thanks to our pre reader, the ever so humorous DoomManta (who is definitely not DoomMantra), and all the people that read and commented.
Writing Gilda for this alongside Orphius's own characters has been some of the most fun I've had in a long time. In the end, I'm quite glad we did this. Yes, the pace was fucked, and yes, we very nearly murdered eachother at points, and yes, Orphius whined all the time about 'sleep' of all petty things, but in the end this was a ton of fun and I don't regret any of the time I've spent here. And that might be the real problem with this story. It was fun before it was good. We didn't pay as much attention to quality control as we should have, because we were both have such a gosh darned great time.
So, yeah. That's it folks. The end. Unless there's a sequel. Or a spin off coming your way.
Seriously folks, if you haven't commented on this before, now's the perfect time to start. Write a review or something to let us now how you feel about this story now that it's done and dusted. Sure, most of the fun was had writing it, but we're fanfiction authors people. We crave feedback (or at least I do) the way an addict wants his next fix.
We hope you've enjoyed this story, and the pleasure of seeing two grown-ass men bicker like children.
So here it is, the epilogue. Such a crazy, weird and badly paced story in general, but so much fun to write. I think the greatest and weirdest thing about this entire journey is that both y1 and I are still alive. No, really, I'm not even joking about that. If you know how much we actually fight and snark at each other, you'd be surprised too. I'll fully admit that I may have a voodoo doll of him that I maybe stab
alwaysoccassionallyneverOh who am I kidding, I always stab it for fun.Aaaaaaaaaaanyways, this really rounds off the fic I feel. Luna's resolution was a tad fast, but we finally get to see her 'normal' or rather, as normal as she can be. We also (finally) get to see Celestia and their interactions with each other, which I fell adds an interesting dimension to both characters. At the same time, we see the antagonism between Luna and Gilda reach an all time high, not that I blame Gilda. At the same time, we try to see her try to adjust to normality, but I'll let y1 talk about that one.
I'll totally admit that before writing this fic, I did not like Trixie at all. She was annoying at best, but afterwards? Damn! She's super fun to write. Maybe it's due to her interactions with Gilda, but still, it's awesome. Um... yeah. I'm trying to keep her out of the stereotypical female love interest role in this scene, but I think Trixie's very nature demands she be the center of attention. So yeah.
Oh yeah, the sequel. That. Why? No, seriously, why? Why would I subject myself to more torture?
2295769 You laugh, but that's how everyone ends up misspelling it.
2295809 I can attest to that
2295818 Also, what ever happened to this?
I was kinda looking forward to that honestly...
2295853
Next time! Next time I will. Maybe. If I remember.
Well I must say that this fic kept me interested throughout the entire length of it. I think I stumbled upon this around chapter 13 or 15 or something like that while looking for Trixie ships *my personal favorite for some reason I can't completely explain*. A Gilda x Trixie one? I have seen a few attempts at it, but they all went unfinished or were one small chapter and done.
Yeah, Trixie was and wasn't a main character, as all viewpoints came from Luna/NNM and Gilda, but this fic really turned out well to me as you managed to keep all of the characters interesting. Trixie wasn't really prevalent or of much interest till later chapters, but hey she is only one of many characters involved in this and she turned out very well as the fic went on. The interactions between Gilda and Luna/NNM were at times hilarious and at others very grim *what was quite interesting was the fact that many of those grim moments came not from NNM, but Luna*.
Only real flaw I saw was that NNM/Luna kinda resolved their issue alot quicker than I expected. But I had the thought of Gilda and Trixie being in a sense Luna/NNM's advisors and reigning her in when she tried to take things too far with edicts/order *More often than not with alot of swearing at eachother and probably a few thrown punches* as she went to therapy or something to work out all the problems she had. It didn't go that way obviously but I still feel it was resolved fairly, if just a bit quickly and the story wasn't harmed much at all for it. It makes sense looking back, as Gilda clearly can't be far enough away from Luna.
I really liked this, Gilda and Luna/NNM's personality had alot of depth and thought put behind them, and the overarching story was interesting. Admittedly my interest was really more between the characters interactions than the horrible events going on around them with the changelings and mutated gryphons, but I would like to think that is a positive thing.
I could probably find more to say but this is long enough, this was a great fic with alot of wonderful elements wrapped into it that also sated my interest in a Trixie ship fic and added so much more than just that in ways I didn't expect it to *very little normal romance but it still worked out wonderfully, and so many extra plots and story twists added in*. Though from the sounds of it I doubt it, but I do wish for a sequel at some point, more so to see what happens to Trixie and Gilda at this point since living in Canterlot with their personalities may prove...'interesting'. Plus I can't help feeling that though Luna may be regretful for how she treated them *or may in some way consider them friends*, that she has an ulterior motive behind having them arrested and brought to Canterlot. It could be she simply wants to know them better and try to be on friendlier terms, but I wouldn't put it past her to have another plan in mind involving them and her working together again.
So yeah, I'll be looking forward to what you both do in the future, be it together or not.
2296143
It's really weird because NMM is just straight up evil in many ways, but Luna is creepier because she tries to justify herself and thinks of herself as justified. She thinks in an old fashioned manner and as how I imagine a physical god would think. That everything is her play thing and everything is there for her amusement. A lot of the fic is her coming to terms with the fact that, that actually isn't the case, but I agree with you. Luna's resolution was far too fast and that was my fault for not working it in properly throughout the fic.
I think we both agree with you in that the character interaction was the highlight of the story.
We have a sequel planned! Just so you know. We're writing it, working on it, having fun with it, killing each other with it, but it's being done so you do indeed have something to look forward to.
Thanks for the super long review by the way, you're awesome.
2296143
I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. Both Orphius and I put a lot of effort into our individual characters, and I think it shows.
Without a doubt, the characters interactions are the highlight of this story. They sort of stole it from us because they were just so fun to write, but I don't think that's the worst that could have happened because, as you've said, it was the interactions that really made this story work in the first place.
A sequel is in the works (four chapters are currently written and a fifth is in progress) and I hope in it we'll be able to fix a lot of issues this story had. That is, give Trixie a stronger character arc, fix up the awful pacing, and have a more consistent plot line with some actual twists and intrigue, rather than it just being the characters that make it worthwhile. That's my hope for the sequel at least.
On another note, perhaps you should consider following me if you're interested in this story. I'm currently in the progress of writing a... spin off? Hmm... No that's not the word for it. It's a stand alone fic that's not really a part of this one, but it exists in the same universe. I actually planned it long before me and Orphius ever had the idea for this one. It's due to be released roughly next month, and it deals with a whole lot of stuff that gets mentioned in passing in this fic. I plan on explaining the story a bit more in a blog sometime later tonight. If you're at all interested in that, consider watching me, and while you're at it, watch Orphius too.
2296171
hmm..well I guess it's probably just how someone prefers a villain to be. NNM and Luna were both villains in this *in a sense*. NNM kind of owned it and didn't make excuses. She was evil, she knew it, and she took what she wanted without excuses. Luna would always rationalize that her actions were for the good of Equestria whether those actions involved her murdering a couple of innocents or not. The big thing about Luna was her lack of regret, if it was between letting a few die to save a few hundred others then it's an understandable action, but for Luna to not care at all or feel any guilt or remorse about what she did was what steps her more into the role of a villain for me, and made her and NNM so similar.
Again, her two personalities were awesome to read through and the interactions were splendid. I am happy to hear about a sequel and can't wait for its release.
2296273
Basically, yeah. I've always found those types of characters to be the scariest and interesting, I mean, Twilight from my Breaking Twilight fic was based entirely around this idea and I felt it worked very well. I decided to tone it down for this fic and I'm glad it worked so well.
2296235
I am following the two of you now, it was just Orphius at first as his name is on the top link but I have both of you now. I've taken alot of philosophical and psychology classes in college so the character interactions and going through why they are the way they are always interests me and this fic has some pretty unique ones.
Without reading through the entirety of the story again * which I probably will do some point soon to refresh it in my head*, I'd say the only thing that sticks in my mind on the plot and I felt odd was when NNM blasts the Aurora in the lab. I know later on NNM seems to cry and say her name while in Luna's head but I guess it just didn't seem as big of a deal as it felt like it should have been. I mean, she just killed all that was left of Aurora without barely a second thought on the action, and NNM seemed to know who Aurora was so I assume she knew who she was blasting. Did the memory only come back to NNM after she blasted Aurora and found the ring?
I'm not complaining, this story is really impressive to me, but I also can have a habit of over-analyzing things that I'm interested in and giving honest feedback that might sound like I'm complaining. ^^;;
Happy to hear about the sequel,and the spin-off, and I will be watching for both.
2296307
Philosophy! Another philosopher
I take you mean when it was under the temple? Near the very start of the fic? If so, Luna didn't recognise her at the time (and if I recall correctly, neither did NMM). The memory only returned later on in the story.
2296341
I thought that might be the case but thanks for confirming. Also if either of you ever need someone to bounce an idea of something off of let me know, I enjoy analyzing personalities and concepts and wouldn't mind at all giving my thoughts in regards to something. I've also been writing for years, but I don't really post any of it. You probably have others for those kinda of things already, but hey if I can help with something lemme know. : )
2296364
I'll keep it in mind thanks!
2296235
2296171
A sequel, with four chapters already written? I love you guys. I can only imagine what the sequel could be about, but I'm excited to see what you two do with it. You should add in that 'What our editor Doom' says to it too, that sounds like it'd be funny.
2297168
I will! Promise. It just slipped my mind this time because we were technically late on the update so I was rushing it out.
And so comes to end an awesome story
What an epic journey
There's a sequel planed? yay
also
you guys crack me up
2333417
So I actually get swearing right for once? That's nice to know because according to y1 I cannot swear at all and I should never, ever swear. Evar
To start, a fun bit of math. Out of 431 (once I post this comment) comments, 60 individual ones were posted by people not working on this story. That's 13.9 percent. Meaning 86.1 percent of these comments are you guys bickering hilariously amongst yourselves. And I loved reading every word of it.
But this story deserves WAY more comments on it. And thumbs, for that matter.
It's hard to define what exactly makes me love this story. As you said, it's oddly paced, and things often come right out of left field. But I can't bring myself to care. The personalities and general dysfunctionality of all these characters is wildly fascinating, and their interactions always come off as immensely intriguing, be they funny or emotional. Gilda, Luna, and Trixie are all so screwed up and usually bitchy, but you really end up really liking all of them, and are truly invested in them. (Especially the romance. SO adorable.) Not many works with bitchy protagonists can pull that off.
The plot itself is a lot more interesting than you give it credit for as well. It's easy to follow, but still has character arcs and elements that could easily turn confusing, but don't.
What I'm really trying to say is that over the last few days I've been reading this in my spare time, I've grown to really like this piece, and would even call it one of my favorite darker fics. I've started reading and tracked the sequel, too, and that looks to be just as good, if not better.
Splendid job, everyone. Just splendid.
Okay. That was enjoyable. Not magnificent, not great, but definitely thumb up.
Definitely original look at Luna, for the first time a story that can show Luna as a jerk. Pretty interesting storyline, that would make an awesome beat'em-up game with boss fights, stealth, magic, gaining power and so on. The mythology, the politics, advanced and smart, and Nightmare fucking it all up - what she did at Aviana at the first visit - that was... whoa. Totally awesome moment of character-building. First carefully establish diplomatic relationships and position, then BOOM! Blow it up without a second of hesitation. Shatters whatever image we could have been building and truly shows her real colors, which is quite refreshing - a barbaric, violent, destructive, arrogant, merciless murderer, that's original! Sappy Gilda-Trixie struggle was, well, sappy and quite typical for that kind of thing, enjoyable though at times slightly boring, but development of Luna's character really caught me and I loved every moment of it.
The biggest weakness: Locations, and their descriptions, or more so lack thereof. The characters exist in dark void with sketches of walls, doors or bushes popping out of them occasionally. My imagination really couldn't operate on brief mentions like "a mine" or "a fortress". These were less than minimal, and most definitely hurt the overall quality. All of Ashguard, which was an essential scene of impossible battle got less of fleshing out than the chamber they got at Aviana castle. Other than that, bad Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe quite jarring at times (and even Celestia getting infected... "Celestia sighed. “If thou are going to create the nightkin again...") and some (not too significant) grammar errors. Still, nothing to really spoil the enjoyment.
Now, marking the sequel as "Read Later" and awaiting completion...
That was fun. It was a refreshing take on the whole Nightmare Moon/Luna thing, unique but workable Luna characterization, good actions scenes, romance, and lots and lots of issues.
Now I'll read the sequel.
I liked that a lot even though you cast Luna as a mass-murdering psychopath. It's sad that this doesn't have more views.