Temple of the Stars

by OrphiusOlyandra

Chapter 12

I sat back, breathing a sigh of relief as a very long fucking day finally came to an end. My back was pressed against some nice black granite that was still warm from the sun even as the air got cold for the evening. No fire tonight. That had been a long discussion, and Trixie might have tried to pull her new ‘relationship’ strings on me, but in the end me and Luna won out.

“Are you sure Trixie can’t light a small fire?”

My eye twitched. I glared over at her, my head tilted to the side. “...”

Trixie just huffed and turned away.

I shook my head and faced the front. It was the end of our first day as a couple, or whatever the fuck we are, and I was still convinced this was a bad idea. My stomach churned whenever I thought about telling Trixie that, or what would happen when she learned I only agreed for her sake, and I was still trying to convince myself that maybe this would work out for the best. The problem with that though, was I knew that it would end badly, and I was just being a dumb-shit optimist by trying to think this wouldn’t end with her hurt. I needed to do more than just go along with her and hope for the best.

“Hope ain’t a plan.” I sighed to myself.

To be honest, this wasn’t the most practical campsite I could’ve chosen, but whatever. I kind of didn’t care anymore. Yeah we were exposed, but... I just couldn’t summon up the give-a-fuck to actually worry about us getting caught.

“Thou are usually more... attentive than this,” remarked Luna as she stood next to me. “This campsite is less than ideal. Something on thy mind? Thou hast been distracted all day.”

“Fuck off Luna.” I glanced over at her. “You didn’t have a problem when I said we could break camp here, why bitch now?”

“We are merely being concerned. Is that not the proper thing to do these days? To care about thy underlings?”

I snorted. “I’m not your fucking underling. Just the unlucky bitch you dragged into this mess.” I shook my head. “Yeah, that’s the right thing to do I guess. Take care of the people beneath you and all... just...” I shook my head. “Just cause I don’t act ‘pleasant’ when you do the right thing, doesn’t mean you did the wrong thing.”

“In the past We would merely drag the individual out onto the practice field and spar with them for an hour or two. Idle minds are fickle things, able to consume and undermine a pony’s confidence. Fighting is all about action and reaction, not time for other thoughts, and by the time we were done, the pony would be too tired to dwell any further.” A sad sigh. “Things have changed a lot in one thousand years, have they not?”

I chuckled. “I don’t imagine the Royal Guard would be too great for a spar these days. None of them have...” I clicked my fingers. “You know, that instinct. That... real idea of what it’s like in a fight. They can practice all they like, but until their life is actually on the line, they just can’t get that experience, you know?” I glanced over at the princess.

“Thou hast no idea. The closest We hath come to an actual fight was our small misunderstanding back in the basement,” replied Luna as she summoned her sword before her. “And even then We were too blinded by emotions to fight properly. We fear our skill hath slipped these past thousand years. There was a time We could distance ourselves from our emotions, and nothing could break that eternal calm. Celly still has it though. We see her use it often when talking to nobles.”

I shook my head. “Nah you got it wrong. Use your emotions while fighting. If you hate the guy, or are really pissed or just want to feel bones break, channel that. Direct it, you know?”

“Be consumed by it and blinded by it, thou means,” I replied. “Raw emotion is the greatest enemy on the field. Cold, calculated logic wins wars.”

Gilda shrugged. “I’m not talking about a game of chess dude. Yeah there’s strategy to just an out and out fight, but you’re not thinking really. Thoughts are too slow, reactions rely on instinct. You build the habits and strategies you use before you start the fight, and after that you just... lose yourself?” I shrugged. “Not the right words but whatever.”

“Instinct can be taken advantage of.” Luna looked far too smug as she said that. “An-”

“Are you two talking about fighting?” asked Trixie as she plopped down next to us. “As far as Trixie is concerned, you two rely on pure brute strength. A true fighter uses deception and cunning to trick their enemies into making a mistake that can be taken advantage of.”

I glanced at her, and in the corner of my eye, Luna did too, before we both looked away from her.

I shook my head. “Anyway, I’m not saying that there’s only one way to fight. I mean, Calisto used to kick my ass and he never fought like I did, but I know that someone who fights by thinking their way around every attack isn’t gonna be half as fast as a more reactionary fighter. I mean, I don’t need to think to notice a guy has a limp or they’re slightly slower on the right overhand or whatever. I just see that and exploit it. There’s no conscious idea between me spotting that, and me using that.”

Luna burst out laughing and she suddenly stood up. “Come then, let us put our respective styles to the test.” She readied her blade. “One on one, no magic, no powder. We use one sword, you may use whatever is on your person at the time.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Not much of a test. You’re a goddess, I’m a gryphon who had way too much to drink last night.” I drew my knife with a spin. “And all I’ve got on me is this.”

A second sword appeared in the ground before me. Then a spear. Then an axe. Then a mace, flail and bow. Luna looked at me expectantly before commenting, “We all had too much to drink last night.”

“Alright then.” I snatched up a short sword and sheathed my knife. The cloak I wore was shrugged off and I followed her to open patch of ground. “You’re still an alicorn though, it’s not exactly a fair fight.”

“We promise to fight as a normal pony would.” Luna lifted her sword into a defensive stance. “No tricks, no crazy tactics, nothing that thou would not normally face in a fight.”

Trixie looked at us then sighed. “Once you two are done bashing each other over the head, call Trixie. She shall be preparing dinner and setting up camp. You know, what you two should be doing. Don’t come crying to Trixie if you end up losing a limb!”

I rolled my eyes. “Relax Trix, this is just a spar between friends.... Well, not friends, but people who don’t want to kill each other.” I gave her a reassuring nod as I rested the short sword against my shoulder. “Try watching. It’s the best sport around.”

Trixie merely snorted in response and turned away. Before we broke eye contact though, I could see the fear in her eyes.

I sighed when I saw that. Fuck. Trix had no place being in a relationship with me. Maybe I could set her up with Grace or something. That’d be good for both of them.

I turned back to Luna. “Mares, huh?”

“We would not know what thou means by thy statement,” she replied while avoiding my gaze.

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”

I rose onto my hind legs, the sword Luna summoned in my claw before me in a rookie’s basic defense. Maybe Luna’s arrogance would have her try to capitalize on that or something. Instead she merely cocked an eyebrow at me and shifted into a stance I had never seen before. Alright, so that feint wasn’t gonna work. I lowered myself to three’s now, my sword to the front and slightly to the side in the actual pose I liked to use and Luna immediately followed suit, changing to a stance I had seen unicorn fencers use.

“So do we go on three or wh-”

She immediately attacked with a fencer’s lunge. I knocked her thrust aside pretty easily, and moved forward to get inside her guard where her telekinesis wouldn’t work as well. Instead she skipped back out of reach. I stepped back away from her too, my eyes on hers. That’s the thing about unicorns, because they don’t fight with their hooves, they were really freaking hard to predict. The best hint you had was their eyes, but even then, don’t bet on it.

We circled each other for a second, and I took note of where her hooves where. Not really set to a fencer’s stance, but not like a normal brawler’s either. I guess this was a warfighter’s hoofwork. I’ve never fought a real unicorn bladesmare before.

She stepped forward, feinting to the left then right, her blade flicking out at her max reach before she danced back once more. I slid under it and moved forward to try and get inside her guard again, but I knew she’d expect that so I kept my sword ready for a quick deflection rather than a real swipe at her. Instead, her hoof snapped out, aimed straight at my throat. Earthpony fighting tactics kicked in, and I moved to the right, catching it with my claw. I barely had time to block and switch back to unicorn fighting as her sword came around again.

That small stumble was all Luna needed. She stepped forward, her blade coming down on me again and again in rapid succession. Just as I found the tempo of her attacks, she began tossing in hoof strikes between the sword cuts. I was caught way off guard by fighting both an earth pony and a unicorn at once. I grit my beak and found myself caught between two warring sets of instincts, one begging me to get close and get inside the guard, and the other telling me to back off and use my reach and maneuverability. Fuck. So yeah, the bitch knew what she was doing.

I used my sword to try and pin hers away from me, ready for her hoof to lash out. I managed to actually catch it this time. With a heave I threw her over my shoulder and finally bought myself some space. Wings flaring open, the alicorn flipped herself in midair and came down as light as a feather. Didn’t matter, the idea was to get her to back off for a second, and it worked as we circled each other again.

The seconds ticked by as we did nothing. We simply circled each other, as a light smirk danced on her lips. Bitch was confident she knew how to fight gryphons. And she was right. Her style was basically some bastard hybrid of techniques built from the ground up to fuck with your expectations and make sure anyone who knew how to fight normally was caught off guard. So yeah, her style was awesome. Thing is though, the Great Scars had a long and proud history of getting deep into shit that was over their heads. Yeah, I was outclassed, but so were the first of the Wide Eyes as they ventured into the pony world and decided a war between the gods. In fact, we got so used to taking on shit we couldn’t handle that we actually learned a thing or two about handling it.

I rose up onto my hind legs and drew my knife, holding it under hand in the ‘wannabe badass’ way. I’d like to see that arrogant bitch deal with this. How do you like it when I use a style you’ve never seen before? Heh, heh. Fighting changes a lot over a thousand years. It was properly called ‘The Outsider’ but I like to call it the Batshit Loopy.

Luna merely cocked an eyebrow at me as a slow grin spread over her face. “Something new. How refreshing.”

She immediately began circling at a fast pace, darting in and out with complex hoof work forcing me to try to keep up with her mobility. I didn’t do that. I was on my hind legs, so trying to do that would be retarded. Instead I slowly moved one paw after the other, not keeping pace, but not quite falling behind either. It was up to her to make the first move.

And that’s when the bitch decided to go pegasus on me. Fast, quick hitting moves. Darting in and out, lots of feints, and lots of movement as she hit from the right, then the left, then the front, then the back. Light, shallow blows designed to whittle down an enemy. It was all about mobility and that was the one thing I lacked with this style. Throw in a unicorn’s reach and it was absolute Tartarus. Smart of her to immediately spot the weaknesses and exploit them.

“Instinct is reactive,” she said as she moved in for another blow.

I flapped my wings and gusted towards her, the first quick move I’d made and she didn’t have time to redirect as she found herself moving into my sword swipe. She blocked it like I expected, and my knife only touched her mane as she dodged that. She didn’t duck the wing that smacked into her face, or the paw that kicked her kidney. She might have spotted the weaknesses, but she didn’t spot the strengths. Before she could counter, I had already breezed past.

Chuckles filled the air as she turned around to face me. “A very curious stance indeed.”

I didn’t answer her.

“Let us try that again then,” she said as rushed me, using the pegasus style once again.

This time I didn’t even attempt to block her, another flap of my wings and I spun past her, my attacks raining down on her back. Or rather, they should have. She rolled over in midair, her back to the ground as she caught my blows. Skidding to a stop, I spun around just in time to catch her crashing into the ground as she failed to turn back over on time.

I pounced.

The sword took the lead and my knife played second fiddle. Two quick slices, parry, skip to the side, and dive right in again. Back and forth we went. We were done with the crazy stuff, the dumbass crap, the shit that should have never worked. We went back to basics. Two against one and still she managed to hold on, using her experience to help guide her.

Our blades glinted in the moonlight and firelight, clashing again and again withou-

Firelight?

“Damn it Trixie! I said no fires!” I yelled as I spun around.

It was only when a sword thrust narrowly missed my neck that I remembered we were in the middle of a sparring match with very sharp weapons. It was amazing Luna didn’t accidently turn me into another piece of meat on a skewer. Luna didn’t even really seem to notice that I’d stopped, and it was too late to get my defense back up. It was less than a second before she’d won, and her sword was pressed against my neck with a smile on her muzzle.

“We will admit, thou did admirably on thy first try. That style was one We had not seen before, but there was little doubt We would hath figured out a successful counter on the next pass.” She stepped back and lowered her sword. “Perhaps next time, thou shall not be distracted so untimely.”

I snorted. “Figure out the Batshit Loopy with one pass?” I shook my head. “I doubt it. Not in the middle of a fight.”

“We almost figured it out on that second pass if thou remembers. Our landing was... less than efficient though.” A frown creased her brows. “Perhaps we should have gone with an unarmed gryphon style instead. Seek to catch a blow then disarm, disable or throw. Could have worked.”

I shrugged. “I don’t really know the Loopy that well. I never exactly finished my training, and that was something I was taught towards the end. So honestly, it’s my weakest style.” I shook my head and turned away. “Damn it, Trix! You cost me the freaking fight! I said no fires!”

“Well Trixie is sorry, but fire is needed for cooking,” she yelled back as we began walking back to her.

“You don’t need to start a fucking fire for grass and hay!” Bloody mare, what the heck was she thinking? Did she want to die?

With a death glare, she tossed a bowl at me and stalked off into the forest.

“The fuck was that about?” I asked Luna, but she merely shrugged as she went to investigate what was for dinner. Looking down, I blinked in surprise. This was meat. Cooked meat. Eyes drifting up, I looked at the spot Trixie had vanished into. Had she cooked this for me?

“Ah... shit.” I put a palm to my face. “Nice one Gilda.” I muttered.

“This is...” I looked over at Luna, who was greedily eating her bowl of grass. “Better than eating grass...”

I picked up the bowl she’d left for me and tried to figure out what to do. This was why no one should be in a relationship with me. I fucking ruin everything.

“Luna... wait here. I need to go...” I sighed and walked after Trixie. “I dunno... convince Trix I’m not a total douche... or something.”

The alicorn looked up from her bowl, a leaf of lettuce on her nose and said, “Better thou than us,” before diving back in like a starving beggar.

It wasn’t hard to find Trixie. Even in the dark, her hoof prints were clear to me, and it wasn’t long before I found her lying on the ground and staring up at the stars through the forest canopy.

“I’m sorry, Trix,” I said as I padded up next to her. “I should have...” Geez, I don’t even know. Waited to see what she was cooking... or something? I eventually settled on, “I shouldn’t have yelled.”

“You better be sorry,” she muttered under her breath. “All Trixie wanted to do was give you a treat. Do you know how much she threw up cooking that for you? Not in the food of course, but... Trixie just wanted to do something nice,” she finished lamely.

I scrunched up my eyes in annoyance and lay down next to her. “I’m such an asshole.”

“Yes. Yes you are.” She suddenly rolled over and wrapped an arm around my chest, keeping me in place. “But you’re my asshole.”

I snickered. “Think about what you just said.” Then I noticed her hurt expression and I cleared my throat. “I mean... yeah, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more... sensitive or whatever.”

Her eyes softened. “Thanks...”

I put my arm around her shoulder, started to scoop food from her bowl into my beak. I resisted the urge to spit it out... Ponies have no fucking idea how to treat meat. I swallowed the fucking awful half burnt, half undercooked crap and resisted the urge to scrape the after taste off my tongue. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Trixie watching me eat.

“S-Sorry... Trixie has never cooked meat before...”

Oh shit. There I go being a jerk again. “No, no. It’s not bad for a first try.” It was fucking awful. “You’ll get it with a few more.”

“Perhaps you could teach Trixie then?” She looked away nervously. “She doesn’t want to handle meat often, but... it could be romantic. Right?”

Oh goddesses. At least there was no way it could be worse than this.

“Heh. A pony learning to cook meat.” I smiled. “Seems a bit unnatural, doesn’t it?”

A dangerous glint appeared in her eyes. “And Trixie fully expects you to learn how to prepare a vegetarian dish. Understood?”

I blinked in surprise. “Uh... sure?” I think that was the answer she wanted to hear. “I’ll learn how to cook... brocolli... prinachi... or whatever that was you asked me to get you back at the palace.”

“Good.” Despite the edge to her voice, she snuggled closer. “And Trixie never knew how warm gryphons were.”

I smiled. Yeah, being hugged was nice. What of it? I’m not some swooning affectionate, but I could enjoy this without being a total pussy.

“Yeah, most of the Gryphon Kingdom’s way colder than Equestria. Our magic’s pretty much the exact same as pegasus, so we’re good for all weather.”

“Good. Trixie has been meaning to get a new blanket for cold winter nights, but now that she has you, she can save some more bits.”

Internally I cringed. Okay, Trixie was starting to scare me with all this. She couldn’t be this attached to me already could she? Fuck. There’s no way she’ll get out of this without being hurt. Why did I ever say yes?

“Yeah well, there’s a few things that are best done under the sheets.” I smirked at her. “Don’t go throwing out the blankets just yet.”

“Hm... Trixie would disagree on that score,” she replied with a faint blush.

I blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

Instead of a reply, I got an unamused look. “If you expect Trixie to it say out loud, you are sorely mistaken.”

I stared at her and shook my head. “Sex under the sheets, sex on them or without them...” I shrugged. “What’s the difference? As long as no one’s watching.”

She merely chuckled in reply as she began running her hoof through the feathers on my chest.

I just shook my head. “Alright then. I guess you’ve had a long time to work your imagination. I don’t even want to know some of the messed up fantasies you got in that head of yours.”

That caused her to burst out into giggles. “Even if you might be into some of them?”

I smirked. “And what exactly would I be into, oh Great and Powerful one?”

“How is Trixie supposed to know?” she replied with a devious little smile.

I shrugged. “I know a way to find out.”

“And that would be...?”

I rolled my eyes. “Sex dude. We fuck each other. I try to be subtle with it and then you go and make me say it.”

She smacked me on the stomach. Not hard enough to actually hurt me, but it got her point across.

“Fine, fine.” I muttered. “Come on, we better get back to Luna before she starts to get suspicious or something.”

Trixie sighed sadly, but crawled onto her hooves. “Very well. Can we at least walk back slowly?”

Goddesses damnit. She really wants romance doesn’t she? She really wants a real damn relationship. Not just me going along with her, she wants me to actually contribute. Sweet fucking Celestia, why would anyone expect that from me?

A shiver ran through her and she pulled her tattered cloak closer to her body in an attempt to keep the heat in. Without really thinking about it, I opened a wing and wrapped it around her torso. The shivering immediately stopped and she snuggled close.

“Thanks. Can’t really afford to waste magic with a heating spell.”

“No worries.” I told her.

We slowly began to make our way back to the camp, and I kind of enjoyed just having her next to me. We didn’t talk, and it took us about five minutes to walk what should have taken just two. I was happy that Trixie was enjoying herself, and even though inside myself I was dying a bit from just how fucking badly I’d handled all this. I shut that part of me up for long to enjoy a walk from here to the camp with Trixie.

When we got into sight, I reluctantly took my wing off her, and she pouted as she stepped away from me. As we cleared the trees, Luna was in camp, her blade drawn once more as she practiced a series of cuts and thrusts.

“Hey Luna.” I said to her as we left the clearing. “Want to spar tomorrow night? That was pretty damn fun and I haven’t had anyone to practice with in ages, I’m getting kinda rusty.”

“That would be most desirable,” replied Luna as she leapt back while thrusting down. “Perhaps Trixie would desire some training? We hath not caught up on the advancements in magic, but We hath learned enough to be of assistance, We hope.”

Trixie blinked in surprise, but nodded slowly. “Trixie is not saying she does not already know everything about magic, but to be tutored by a goddess would definitely be a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

I laughed. “Hey Luna, that’s the closest you’re ever gonna get to Trix admitting you’re better than her at anything. Enjoy it while it lasts.”

A hoof slammed into the back of my head.

I rubbed a claw against it. It didn’t hurt too bad, but hooves are pretty solid. “Is this gonna be a thing with us?” I asked Trixie. “I might get brain damage or some shit.”

“Wait, you still have brain cells to kill? Trixie thought you had already lost them all.”

“Eh.” I shrugged. “There’s a few of the tougher ones still hanging on, but don’t worry. I’ll get those little bastards eventually.”

Trixie chuckled under her breath. “Trixie certainly hopes not, a couple of brain cells would be nice.”

I gave a light laugh. “Nah, don’t bet on it. Between head trauma and booze those bastards’ll be lucky to last the month.”

“No drinking.” She jabbed my chest. “Remember?”

Ah shit. I’d forgot about that. I sighed and turned away. “So they live to fight another day. It’s just a matter of time.”

“It’ll be worth it though,” she whispered in my ear before walking away, her hips swaying seductively as she went.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye, until I remembered we weren’t supposed to be a couple and yanked my eyes back to the embers of the fire. Shit. We’re really not doing a good job hiding this are we?

I sat down again and put my back to the rock. “So, Luna. Who taught you how to fight anyway? I’m guessing there was more than one guy, what with the way you balance earth pony, pegasus and unicorn.”

“Thou would be correct. In the beginning We relied entirely on our magic much like Celly, but then Discord came along.” A scowl appeared on her face. “At one point, We found ourselves devoid of our magic and We were forced to fight hoof to hoof. That was the most embarrassing and one sided battle We hath ever participated in. After that, We devoted our time to mastering the martial arts and We like to think We hath developed a degree of competence.”

I shrugged. “Well you’re better than most I know, but your fight isn’t exactly flawless either. You’re working on the assumption that you can basically overwhelm anyone just by fighting with all three styles. I mean, in a real fight, if you tried that shit where you landed on your back, it wouldn’t be pretty. It really feels to me like you just think you can shrug anything off.”

“If it were a real fight, We would not hath tried using the pegasus style a second time,” I replied. “It was a spar, therefore We felt safe trying out potential counters.”

“If you say so.” I sat there for a second. “Anything you noticed about the way I fight? I mean... I haven’t gotten the chance to really cover up my problems before. You know what you’re doing, so your opinion’ll mean something.”

“Hm...” Luna leaned back on the log she was sitting on. “Thy strikes with the backhand knife are a tad sloppy at times. You overstretch slightly. Stance is good, good footwork... Perhaps a bit more defense? Thou seemed to be uncomfortable playing defensively and that was when We felt We had the upper hoof.”

I nodded. “I guess that sounds right enough. I don’t usually fight with my knife playing second fiddle, and the defense thing was ‘cause I’m more used to putting them on the defense at the start, or countering them when they try to come after me.”

“Thou art also used to brawling correct? It has influenced thy style, making thy natural stance sloppy at times and open to attack,” Luna added with a frown. “Be careful not to use brawling tactics in a fight.”

“Yeah I know. My trainer used to hate it when I picked fights in the schoolyard, said it’d make me worse when it came to a real fight.” I shrugged. “Alright. I guess that’s just something I’ll have to patch up.” I glanced over at Trixie. She’d probably like it if I stopped brawling as well.

“Thou wilt if thou wish to live.”

I glanced back at her. “Or I could just go back to Equestria and never have to fight again? Fighting isn’t even really a survival skill anymore.”

“In the past, at least it was a sport,” Luna muttered under her breath.

“Boxing’s still around. I mean, it’s not the real thing but it still gives you that real visceral feel that makes fighting fun anyway.”

“Not the same. We wonder what the coliseum is now used for?” she mused.

“Coliseum? You mean the one in Cloudsdale?”

“There were also ones in Canterlot, outside Fillydelphia and Manehattan.”

“Not there anymore. There are hoof ball arenas in Manehattan and Fillydelphia, but no coliseums. Down in Dice they have this whole bare hoof underground fighting community, but it’s mostly just a pack of earth ponies with daddy issues. I got bored with it heaps quick, only a few of them were real fighters.”

“You did what!?” Both our heads snapped towards Trixie who was staring at me with a twitch in her eye.

“What?” I asked her. “I was in Dice for a while, got dragged to one of the rings by some guy whose nose I broke in a bar fight, had a fun night, realized that only like, three of the guys knew what they were doing, got bored and left.” I shrugged. “It really wasn’t a big deal.”

Trixie’s mouth open and closed multiple times before she flopped back onto the ground with her cloak wrapped tightly around her body.

I sighed. “Trix, I hadn’t even met you yet. I mean, I was fifteen. You can’t blame me now because of what I did when I wasn’t even allowed to sign own my own library card?”

“Of course Trixie can.”

I rolled my eyes. “Trix, you can’t get mad every time you learn something about me. I mean, you’ll spend more time pissed off at me for shit that’s not my fault than anything else.”

“Trixie isn’t mad. She’s not even a bit mad.” She turned so her back was to me. “She’s just not surprised.”

I looked at her for a while, trying to figure out what she was saying by not saying it at the same time. After a moment I gave up. I shook my head and looked away. Mares.

I turned my head to Luna. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask you. You saw my brain right?”

“Bit and pieces.”

“What did you see?” I asked her. “I mean, what was the impression you got? I got an idea of what Nightmare was like by seeing just pieces of her head. What was I like?”

“Competent, loyal, angry,” Luna replied with a shrug.

“That it?” I asked her. “Those are the three parts of me that represent me best? Competent, loyal, and pissed off?”

“Sounds right,” called Trixie from her makeshift bed.

I sat back and thought about that. Huh. Well I guess they’re not exactly bad attributes. I mean, it’s better than just ‘bitchy’ or something.

“Really? ‘angry’?” I glanced between the two of them. “I know I have a temper, but I’m not pissed off all day every day.”

“No, but you are pissed off often,” replied Trixie.

“Am I?” I leaned back and thought. “When was the last time I got really ticked off?”

“When you shoved a knife in Luna’s spine?” There was a pause. “Or so Trixie has been told.”

I thought about. “Nah, I wasn’t really angry when I did that. Just wanting air. I was more pissed off when she was trying to drag up sympathy like some retarded foal who wants to be part of the big kids club.”

Luna glared at, but didn’t say anything.

“Fine, violent then,” said Trixie.

I laughed. “Alright then.” I leaned back against a rock. Anger? Really? Was that really one of the three things that defined me? I shrugged. “Why not?”

We all lapsed into silence as the conversation died.

“Come, thou should sleep. We shall keep watch for thee.” Luna’s eyes darted over to Trixie’s shivering form. “Perhaps thou should sleep with Trixie tonight. Thy natural feathers should help keep both of you warm.”

I blinked at her. “Uh... that might be a bit awkward.”

“Waking up tomorrow morning with a travelling companion frozen to death would be more awkward and even more inconvenient,” snapped Luna. “Get over thy distaste for her. We will not allow either of you to die unnecessarily on this mission.”

“Trix?” I turned to ask her. “Luna’s decided she cares about us or something. Do you mind if I...” I trailed off. I knew what her answer would be, but I wanted to give her the choice. Plus, it was smart to keep up the act with Luna around.

“Seriously? You expect the Great and Powerful Trixie to sleep in close proximity with that meat eater?” She made a gagging noise. “Trixie shall just use a heating spell all night.”

Huh. Not the answer I was expecting. “Trix, you know that’s a bad idea. The constant burn on your horn all night will stop your natural power recharging.” I glanced up at the sky. “I think? It’s been a while since high school Health Ed. I’m right aren’t I?” I checked between her and Luna.

“Thou wouldst be correct.” Luna’s eyes narrowed as she focused on Trixie. “Thou will sleep with Gilda and if thou complain, We will tie thee up. There shall be no arguing over that.”

“Ha! I bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you, Gilda?” Though I couldn’t see her face, I just knew Trixie was smirking. “Fine. Whatever. You better not snore though.”

I glanced between her and Luna. “Uh...okay?” I scratched the back of my head. “I mean... why would I Iove you being tied up? I’m pretty sure that’s Luna’s shit. Did I ever tell you about the time she tied me up and locked me in her closet?”

“W-What?” spluttered Trixie. Was... was she blushing? I couldn’t see her face, but I think she was.

“Yeah, I bet Luna’s totally into bondage and straps and shit.” I smirked. “After she blackmailed me in the dungeon, she dragged me back to her room. When Celestia walked in, Luna threw me in her closet and then told her I was some mare she planned on ‘ravaging’.” I looked towards Luna. “I bet Nightmare’s not the only one that wants a piece of this action.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Stop flattering thyself, we prefer less muscular partners. Our tastes lie in more toned or curvy individuals. Nightmare just gets lustful over blood and thy skill in combat is something she likes.”

“Curvy eh? I take it you like the mares then?” Please, oh please merciful fucking Celestia. I pray to you in total fucking desperation; Nightmare better not want me just ‘cause I can cut others open. Oh goddesses, that would be so fucked up. “Trix, you better watch out. You’re exactly what Luna likes apparently. Curvy and toned and all that.”

“Trixie is toned and curvy?” She sounded surprised.

I glanced at her. “Uh... yeah? You knew that right? That’s why you have that cloak and all, sex appeal for your shows? When that thing billows it pulls all eyes to your flank.”

“Um- Well- That is...” She coughed. “When Trixie left home, she only had a cape and hat with her. Over the years she remade it again and again so it stayed in shape. Most of the stars cover tears and holes.”

Huh. Well there you go. “Alright.” I glanced between her and Luna. Yeah, the joke seemed dead. Don’t make that comment about how Luna was getting her rape face on. “So anyway, are you sure you’re okay with sleeping next to me? I won’t do it if you’re not cool with it.” I turned Luna. “No matter what Luna says.”

“Whatever,” shrugged Trixie. “Just no snoring.”

I walked over to her, and lay down next to her. I glanced back at Luna, who was watching us, before I draped a wing over the unicorn. I seriously hope Nightmare’s not the hyper jealous type, but really, if she’s as much like me as I think she is, then that’s not something I was betting on. After a second I looked forward and put my head down in my claws.

“Night, Trix,” I muttered.

“Whatever,” she snapped in reply before adding in a whisper, “Do you really think Trixie’s toned and curvy?”

I smiled. Good ol’ Trix the egotist. “Well you’ve been trotting from one end of Equestria to the other all those years. If you keep up a decent diet, then yeah. It shouldn’t surprise you when you turn out a total ten.”

I blinked in surprise as Trixie began purring, like, literally purring or something. It was weird hearing it come from a pony, but also kinda hot.

I couldn’t help myself. After a second I smirked and added, “Or you know, at least a six.”

The purring stopped and she glared up at me. “And here Trixie was thinking about giving you a treat.”

I glanced over at Luna, whose back was turned and her ears weren’t pointed our way. “I was just joking Trix. You make nine on a bad day. And, I’m not sure now’s the time for that.” I tilted my head towards the deity that seemed more intent on the night sky than us.

“Fine.” Trixie pouted playfully and I hate to admit it, but she could seriously pull that look off. Then she darted forward and kissed me lightly on the beak before blushing bright red and pulling back.

I blinked in surprise, and put a claw to where she touched me. I’m glad she was looking away and didn’t see me blush. Yeah, so sure, this was all a really bad idea. But we were definitely going to have fun while it lasted. Hope ain’t a plan and all, but the shit ideas can be the best ones. Who knows? Maybe me and Trix will still be friends by the end.

“Wait, so thou art telling us that exile is no longer a punishment? Nor is life time imprisonment or putting the criminal to death?” I shook my head in disbelief. “Equestria has changed more than I expected.”

Gilda called back from ahead. “Yeah well, there aren’t a lot of crimes that need the death sentence anymore. I’m probably the only multiple murderer living in Canterlot at the moment.”

“What?” Trixie was glaring at Gilda again. “Multiple murderer?”

“Yeah, that’s the technical term for someone that’s killed more than once. I looked it up.” She glanced over at Trixie. “I’ve told you I’ve killed before.”

“Multiple. Murderer. Trixie thought you killed because you had no other choice! That the others were bad or something!” I rolled my eyes as she went into full hysterics.

“They were.” Gilda answered her. “Doesn’t mean the terminology is any different. Murder is murder. Killing is killing.” She shrugged. “Do you want me to use a nicer word?”

“Yes. Yes she would. Something involving self-defense would be preferable.” Trixie turned to me. “That’s another lesson. Use ‘nice’ words to fudge the truth.”

Gilda just rolled her eyes. “Fine. What word would you like me to use? ‘Ended’ or ‘Iced’ or something?”

“Do not mock Trixie! It was self-defense. You acted in self-defense. That is final.”

I don’t believe Trixie heard it, but I overheard Gilda mutter, “Does it matter if it was self-defense?”

“Anyway, so as Trixie was saying.” She looked across at me again. “Most crime and punishment in Equestria revolves around minor crimes such as vandalism or public indecency.”

Gilda laughed. “Yeah those are fun. Break a window in Manehattan, and the guards’ll give you a place to sleep for the night, and a hot meal.”

“Gilda...” growled Trixie.

“What? I’m just telling her the truth.” She shrugged. “That’s how a lot of orphan kids look at it when they don’t want to spend another night in the homes.”

“And these... orphans... this is a problem in Equestria?” I asked.

Trixie stared at me with a concerned expression on her face. “Luna. Orphans are just foals who no longer have parents, not a social plague.”

“But... this is an issue right? There are a lot of these ‘orphans’? Are they being taken care of at all?” Surely Celly knew about this.

“Well yeah,” Gilda dropped back. “Orphanages are set up to take care of them, but when a foal loses their parents they get a nice big chip on their shoulder. You put them all in one place, and it’s freaking destiny that it’s not a nice place. Most of them go on to lead a lower end life style. I mean, I was in orphanage for a while, so what does that tell you?”

“Nothing good,” I whispered to myself. Once I got back to Canterlot, I would have to talk to Celly about this orphan situation. Perhaps there was something I could do to help alleviate the scenario somewhat.

“Yeah exactly. Most orphanages aren’t nice places to live, especially not when you have bullies like me who make shit miserable for everyone else.” She shook her head and turned ahead. “I’m so fucking glad I boarded for high school.”

A frown creased my brow. Surely Celly would not let such needy ones go untended. Whatever the case, that was an injustice I would not let continue.

“Hey Trix, you were in an orphanage for a while there right?”

“Nope. Trixie would rather be dead than caught in a place like that. She travelled the world instead.”

Gilda nodded. “Fair enough.Heh. Imagine how shit it was being the only gryphon in that place, then imagine an earth pony four years older than me who decided to make shit harder.” She shrugged. “I’m proud that I lasted a whole day before I put that prick in hospital. After that I was the one throwing my weight around. It was like a fucking food chain. You were either at the top, or getting dirt kicked in your face by whoever was.”

“So these orphanages are not places to raise children? Has Celly done nothing to remedy this?”

Gilda shrugged. “Probably, but if she’s anything like you, then there’s only so much she can do.”

“Celestia is nothing like us,” I snapped. “Do not even dare think she is.”

Gilda looked across at me with an eyebrow raised. “Uh... okay?”

“We are sorry for our outburst, but Celly is...” I winced and said the next few words as though they were venom, “Better than us in everything except warfare.”

Gilda snorted. “Well she must be pretty shit at war then, cause I’m yet to be impressed by any of your strategy.”

A chuckle escaped. “We used to tell her that if she was given an army of a thousand to fight a hundred blind, crippled warriors, she would find a way to lose.”

“Well, I don’t know about that, but honestly with the way Equestria’s set up, any real army would be obsolete and a waste of bits. Celestia’s negotiations and political work have pretty much made the idea of open war with Equestria just plain stupid.”

“It does not help she controls the sun, has enough power to level Equestria with a single thought and knows the most powerful war spells ever devised,” I replied with a shrug. “Her mastery of the magical arts is far beyond our own.”

“So then why did Nightmare think she could take her on? I mean, you’re powerful and all, but against that? Good luck.”

“Please, our power matches our sister’s. Furthermore, Nightmare was not restrained by thoughts of casualties whereas Celly is, and will always be,” I replied.

“Tell them about the time I almost managed to destroy the entire area from the Everfree Forest to Cloudsdale. The only thing that stopped me was Celestia’s damn shield, and once that was gone, she was too weak to do anything. I should have won the war right then and there, but she had to have those bloody Elements on her, tucked away as a final resort.” I could feel the annoyance oozing off her. “Actually, don’t tell them that.”

“The simple matter of the fact was, Nightmare deliberately picked crowded areas for straight on matches and Celly would always protect the citizens first, leaving her no room or magic to go on the offensive,” I said.

“Well, you might have once been as powerful as she was, but I know you’re not now. What happened? Did the Elements take your power or something?” She grinned. “Aww dude, imagine if Dash had the power of an alicorn. The world would be dead by the afternoon, but it’d be so fucking awesome while it lasted.”

“Are you an idiot? Magic doesn’t work that way,” sighed Trixie. “Trixie would explain, but she doubts your small brain would be able to understand such complicated information.”

Gilda shrugged. “Whatever dude. It was just an idea, and obviously it hasn’t happened. I mean, I used the word ‘imagine’ right? I doubt Dash is gonna end up with a horn any time soon.”

“Regardless, Trixie is curious as to why you are so weak. As far as she knows, magic regenerates and it has been months since your return,” commented Trixie.

I winced. Turns out their little argument had not distracted them from the original question.

“Well...” I drew circles in the air with my hoof. “It is far too complex for us to explain.”

“Oh give it up already, you might as well tell them already. They’re already in too deep to not know everything.”

“We liked it better when thou hated their guts.”

“I still hate the blue one.”

“Regardless, thine emotions are clouding thy judgment.”

“...”

“Give Trixie a shot. She is the Great and Powerful for a reason.”

Gilda looked at me, her head tilted to the side. “Nah, I’m betting she just doesn’t know why her powers are gone.” She looked back at Trixie. “She gets all ‘puny mortals, rargh-rargh bitch-bitch we’re a goddess,’ when she’s trying to act like she knows more than she does.”

I just stared at the gryphon as though she was insane before replying, “Art thou right in thy head?”

“Heh.Nah, not really. But that was just sarcasm, so no I’m not going retarded just yet. Anyway, am I right? Do you even know?”

“Yes. Thou art entirely correct,” I replied in a monotone. “After all, thou art a genius.”

Gilda just raised an eyebrow. “Alright then smartass, tell me why you’ve lost your power.”

“Because We gave it to the Element of Loyalty just as thou suggested.”

She rolled her eyes. “Just fucking tell us. I’m already sick of ‘everyone gang up on the gryphon who can’t do magic.’ I mean fuck, is it really my fault that I barely know shit about this?”

“Yes,” replied Trixie.

“We have to agree. If thou wish to survive a fight with a unicorn, thou must know how their strength functions,” I added.

Gilda snorted and glared at me. “My kill count would disagree. Not just some randoms either, but actual fighters too.”

“We doubt thou hast killed as many as us,” I replied.

“And Trixie’s... er... practical experience with disagreeable bar patrons would also disagree.” Gilda and I stared at the unicorn before turning away once more. “Hey! Why do you two always treat Trixie as though she knows nothing about fighting? Just because she hasn’t killed anypony doesn’t mean she is defenseless or an idiot.”

“Would thou like to explain, or shall We?” I asked Gilda.

“Just ignore her. She won’t get it till she bags her first. Mind you, I’m hoping that doesn’t happen anytime soon, if ever.” She looked back at me. “And you’re a goddess that’s been around since creation as far as I know.” Not strictly true, but she didn’t need to know that. “I mean, if half the shit you’ve told me about being a god of war is true, then your count’s gonna be way higher than mine ever will.”

“‘God of war’? Please, flattery will get you nowhere.” A stone bounced along the dirt road as I gave it a solid kick. “But yes, We were responsible for many kills, though We are certain Celly’s kill count is higher.”

“Really? Huh, who’d have thought it. Good ol’ Celly, more murderific than Nightmare Moon? They don’t teach that in the history books.” She glanced across at me. “Flattery?” She snorted. “I never flatter anyone. Ever. It’s kind of fucked up that you took that as a complement.”

“As thou hath commented in the past, We art ‘fucked up’ indeed.”

“Luna, please don’t use that. Ever,” said Trixie. “Especially not in public. It is indecent to the highest degree and only degenerate ponies use it at all.”

“Like me.” Gilda piped up with a smile. “It’s an awesome word though. It’s total goddess damn bullshit that it’s fucking social crime. Stupid upper-class cunts and bitchy Celestians.” She rolled her eyes. “Fuck is a word that needs more respect than it gets.”

“Ignore all that,” commented Trixie. “She is insane. Completely and utterly insane.”

“Yeah, Trix is probably right. You’re not gonna make any friends by speaking like I do. I mean, I start enough fights as it is.”

“Everything Gilda does, do the exact opposite,” added Trixie.

“Okay, there’s gotta be exceptions to that one.” Gilda shook her head. “I mean, there are times when I haven’t killed or haven’t acted out of line.” She looked up in thought. “I mean, I think there’ve been times.”

“Name one.” A smirk danced on Trixie’s lips as she stared at Gilda.

“Uh... did you have to be there?”

The unicorn nodded.

“Uh... how about that time when I was showing you around Port Town? Nothing really happened there.”

“Except for that small anecdote where you butchered a corpse and sold the meat to a butcher.One who Trixie might add, was a friend and didn’t know where the meat was from.”

“Really? Did thou poison the meat first? We did that once when fighting the dragons. Equestria was not known for having meat lying around so We were forced to use the meat from some ambushed dragons.” A small chuckle escaped. “We had to use illusion magic and bundle them up to look like cows and such, but it did the trick. We still are not sure how any non-blind creature could have mistaken those for anything other than a trap.”

“Ah yes, I remember that! That was a stroke of pure genius.”

There was a second of shocked silence, before Trixie shattered it by throwing up.

“Ah fuck,” Gilda danced away from the unicorn. “Trix! Come on! It’s just dead animal. No it’s not even dead animal, it’s the idea of dead animal. How the fuck did you even cook that food last night?” She started patting the unicorn on the back. “Come on, spit out the bile after taste. This is something you’re gonna have to get used to.”

“Trixie hopes not,” she replied in a raspy voice. “How can you two be so callous about all this? Dragons are sentient!”

“We were at war,” I replied with a shrug.

“There you go, waving that flag again.” Gilda turned to me. “So what if you were at war? Shit you did was wrong. Face it. You can justify everything all you want, but the fact is you did messed up things, and it was your fault.”

“All is fair in love and war,” I replied. “Until thou hast fought for the lives of thousands, thou cannot judge our acts. We are not saying We would repeat our actions in this day and age, but We do not regret our actions.”

Gilda grit her jaw. “Fuck.” She put a palm to her head. “You don’t get it? Stop justifying yourself damn it! If you’re the bad guy, you’re the fucking bad guy! Deal with your issues dude, don’t hide behind your fucking excuses.”

“So We should not hath done that and instead found some nice peaceful solution or have some drawn out, bloody war where thousands would die?” I cocked an eyebrow at them. “All the while, the dragons would be breeding ponies like cattle to feed their ever growing population. Of course, ho-”

“No!” Gilda looked frustrated. “You do what you have to do at the time you have to do it, but fucking Tartarus... You can’t be happy about it, and you need to stop justifying it. You did fucked up things, and you’re still refusing to admit it. It doesn’t matter why you did it, just own up to it without all this crap about why you had to. I’m a fucking murderer, not a ‘self-defense’ or whatever retarded spin you want to put on it. I’m never going to dress that up as anything else. I’ll hide that because I don’t want to go to jail, but when someone finds, out I make no bones about the fact that I’m a fucking killer.”

“Does it sound as though We were trying to justify our actions? We merely stated a fact. What others think is of no matter to us, for We did what was necessary to stop a war in its tracks.” I rubbed my temples. “Thou art starting to remind us of Celly.”

“You’re not getting it. Even if you don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks, you have to face up to yourself. You need to know what you did, live with it. Stop hiding behind your own excuses. If shit like that doesn’t eat you up, then you’re not dealing with it, damn it!”

“If We allowed things like that to eat us up, thou wouldst have two less rulers,” I snapped back. “We are immortal. We have committed crimes that none should have to even contemplate. Unlike thou, We cannot afford to regret what we have done, for such acts would drive us insane. If either of theebelieve Celly is less steeped in blood than us, thou art sorely mistaken.”

“Well maybe that’s what you both deserve.” Gilda poked a finger at us. “Forget everyone else, what about you?”

“Death,” I replied without missing a beat. “We deserved to die for everything We hath done. Death is what Celly should have delivered to us when she used the Elements on us.”

“...You still don’t get it.” She turned and started walking ahead of us again, her voice dripping with disgust. “Fuck it. Whatever. You still haven’t told us why you’ve lost your powers.”

I cursed under my breath. “And We are not going to tell thee.”

Her shoulders betrayed her anger, even if I could not see her expression. “Why not?” Her voice was taut with irritation too. “What bigger secret could you possibly have than you made Tartarus? I think after we’ve heard that, you haven’t got much else left that’s worth hiding.”

“Thou wouldst be surprised,” I replied darkly. “It is more to stop thee from fearing the worst than anything else.”

Gilda just snorted and kept walking.

After a second Trixie spoke up, “Well that answer does not satisfy Trixie. She already fears the worst, not that Trixie’s afraid of anything, but how much worse could it be?”

“Well...” I channeled a bit of Nightmare as I gave her my most frightening grin. “If thou really want to know, our power is split with Nightmare currently.”

“And here I expected you to outright lie rather than give a white lie.”

“The best lies are the ones that contain a grain of truth,” I replied easily.

“Bullshit.” Gilda looked back at us. “You were exhausted when Nightmare used magic, so you’re sharing the same source. Also, Nightmare’s power isn’t enough to level Equestria or even a part of it. Either you’re lying about Celestia’s power, or your own.”

Since when did she get so smart?

“You might as well tell them the truth. You’ve dug yourself a hole.”

“Silence! There is still-”

“There is no way out of this! Just tell them the truth already. If you don’t I will.”

“In order to access our magic, We need to... That is...” I looked away. “We need to give the other permission otherwise they cannot use the magic.”

They both stared at me, processing the statement. “So, basically, if you want your power back, you need to ask Nightmare nicely, and if she wants hers back, she needs you to give the go ahead?”

“They... They are idiots.”

“Agreed. Beneficial to us though.”

“Something like that, yes. It is far more complex than that though,” I replied.

Gilda’s eyes narrowed. “So then I was wrong? That’s not how it works? You were lying to us, again? You went all ‘it’s over your heads’ again, and that answer was way too vague.”

“We cannot give a straight answer, because We have never heard of something like this before!” I groaned in frustration. “We have no answer.”

“Wait.” All eyes focused on Trixie. “If you can’t cast magic without Nightmare’s permission, how can you cast magic at all?”

“Maybe she’s not a complete idiot after all,” chuckled Nightmare.

“We have a small pool in reserve that the other cannot touch,” I lied easily.

“Is that even possible?” Gilda eyed me up and down. “Nah, I think she’s lying again.” She turned to Trixie. “She’s full of shit, right? That’s not possible is it?”

“Trixie... Trixie doesn’t know. Such a thing is completely unheard of...” For once, the admission did not look as though it was forced out of her.

“Well, if it’s unheard of, doesn’t that make it less likely? In a thousand years of existence this can’t be a completely unique case, right?” Gilda reasoned it out. “If it hasn’t happened before, what are the chances of it happening now?” She glanced back at me. “Nah, I don’t buy it.” She stared me in the eyes. “You’re lying to us again. I know for a fact Nightmare’s power’s tied to yours... somehow. But it’s not what you’re saying it is.”

“Of course,” came the sarcastic reply from Trixie. “You just ‘know this’ with absolutely nothing to back it up. Name one other unicorn with not only split personality disorder, but it’s got a magical component to it all. One.”

“Well I don’t know any unicorns or magical history at all, but I was in Nightmare’s head for a bit there. I mean, it’s confusing, but I just... I don’t know what I know, but when I know it, I know that I know it. And I know that their power is tied to each other... somehow.”

“Cut the shit!” snarled Trixie. “You dislike Luna. Trixie gets it. Everypony gets it. But enough with the damn conspiracies. Just listen to yourself. You’re basing your theories off something you saw in a mad pony’s head! And don’t you dare say ‘I know it was the truth’ because she’s a fucking goddess! Limitless power and a biology that’s completely different to a pony’s. So just shut the fuck up and stop this unicorn hunt.”

Gilda just stared at her for a second. “‘Unicorn hunt’? What?”

“Dark period in Equestrian history before Celly and I came to power. Unicorns were hunted for practicing magic,” I replied automatically. “And for their horns.Said to contain unimaginable power.”

Gilda shook her head. “Uh, okay. Trix are you okay? I mean, why are you pissed off? I don’t trust Luna, yeah... but why do you care if I do or don’t?”

“Trixie doesn’t want to talk about it,” she snapped back.

Gilda sighed and looked up to the sky frustrated. “Mares.” After a moment she just rolled her eyes and looked straight at Trixie. “Whatever. Luna’s lying. Even if it’s paranoid, I know I’m right.”

“Of course you do.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Gilda asked Trixie with irritation in her voice.

“Absolutely nothing,” replied the unicorn.

Gilda rolled her eyes. “Ugh. Whatever.” She didn’t say anything and we walked in silence.

As annoying as their bickering could be, it did have its benefits. I sent a silent prayer to Harmony in thanks for giving Trixie such emotional issues and for making her so sensitive to them. Without her comments, there was little doubt that anything I said would have resulted in Gilda becoming even more suspicious. That was one of the few things I could not afford to happen.

“Goddesses damn it.” Gilda said to no one in particular. “Can we last a fucking day without someone having a big emotional thing? Stupid fucking feelings.” She muttered to herself.

Trixie burst out laughing. “Are there three more emotionally stunted individuals than us? Think about it. We’re probably the most insane group ever.”

Gilda cracked a grin. “Maybe most insane alive, but I’m not sure about ‘ever’. Heard any gryphon legends? I’m telling ya, those were some crazy bastards if half of what’s said is true.”

“Dragon legends are also rather amusing in that regard. Vaunted as heroes when they were in fact sociopaths,” I added.

Gilda shrugged. “Yeah well, sounds like history to me. Most of the big historical figures, like the first king of the Black Eyes or Commander Hurricane, were really fucked up. It’s just ‘cause they won and wrote the history books that we remember them as heroes.” She shrugged. “If Nightmare won the war, I’m betting Celestia would be a name as bad as Discord. The sun would just be a cub’s horror story, what with eternal night and all.”

“Well Trixie is sorry if she likes her heroes to be heroic and virtuous.”

“Heroes are just ponies. Or gryphons or whatever. Everyone has their vices and issues. I mean, the stories I used to love when I was a cub were about the gryphons that went to Equestria and fought in the war against Nightmare. That doesn’t change the fact that Anibal was only doing what he did to piss the Black Eyes off. Yeah, he changed the Kingdom forever and set the Great Scars up as what they are today, but all he really wanted to do was get at the tribe that forced his tribe into a war he couldn’t give a shit about.” She shook her head. “I don’t really think anyone that we call heroes were really all that great at the time.”

“Twilight Sparkle?” I asked out of curiosity.

“T-Twilight Sparkle!?” I recoiled at Trixie’s sudden outburst. “She’s a fake and fraud! Don’t you dare mention her name in the presence of the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

My eyes narrowed. “Thou shalt still thy tongue. Thou art speaking of the mare who set us free.”

Gilda glanced between the two of us. “Personally, I never really met her.”

“Well We have, and from what We have heard of thy encounter with her, We are willing to say thine opinion was formed from a bruised ego.” I flicked a lock of stray mane out of my eyes. “After all, thou bragged that thou defeated an ursa major, only for an ursa minor turn up and defeat thee. Then out came Twilight Sparkle, vanquishing the beast with nary a thought.”

“Like I said, wasn’t there, got no opinion.” Gilda turned to Trixie. “But, I really want to know Trix, why have you got such a grudge against her? Is it really just a ton of butt hurt?”

“Later,” she replied with a glance over at Luna.

“Really? Thou trust this gryphon more than thine own princess?”

“Hey, don’t feel too bad about it.” Gilda gave me a reassuring tone. “I mean, I trust you as far as I can piss, and I’m female, so I don’t blame Trix for not wanting you to know.” She gave me a smirk.

“What.” Trixie’s eye twitched. “You butchered that saying on purpose! Luna, never say that. It’s meant to be ‘as far as I can throw you,’ but Gilda here is just a foul mouthed braggart.”

“Hey!” Gilda turned to glare at Trixie. “I resent that. Braggart? Since when am I a braggart? I’ve got nothing on you when it comes to narcissism. Hell, I’m downright self-destructive.”

A frown appeared on Trixie’s face. “You... hate yourself...?”

Gilda paused. “Well... hate’s a strong word. I mean, I’m just honest with myself.” She shrugged. “I’m not the good guy, or really even half decent. I’ve never pretended to be anything other than me.”

“Do you hate yourself?” asked Trixie.

“Uh...” Gilda shrugged. “I don’t ‘love’ myself.” She stopped and smirked. “Except for those times I do love myself. If you know what I mean.”

“You-I-Trixie-” Though I did not understand what had made Trixie blush and stammer so, knowing Gilda, it was probably something lewd.

Gilda smirked at Trixie. “Hey Trix, you’ve gone purple. Need me to clear your throat?”

“S-Silence you ruffian!” Her blush did not fade one bit. “And you know what Trixie meant! Stop dodging the question.”

Gilda just drew her claws across her beak. “Sorry, but you told me to be silent, can’t do both.”

“Answer the question then!”

Gilda rolled her eyes. “What question?”

“Do you love yourself? Do you hate yourself? Answer me damn it!”

Gilda shifted uncomfortably. “I dunno. I guess?” She shrugged her shoulders. “But who doesn’t hate things about themself? I mean, everyone has things they wish they could change. Heck, sixteen year old fillies all despise themselves.”

“You know what Trixie is asking...” said Trixie.

Again the gryphon fidgeted. “Do you really have to ask? Does it matter if I do or not? I mean, what does it matter if I’m nothing but booze, swearing and violence? Who cares? It’s not like I matter anyway.”

Trixie opened mouth to say something, only to suddenly close it again.

“When you’ve never done anything but hurt and disappoint, or get abandoned or... shit I dunno.” Gilda shook her head and sighed. “I guess I do hate myself. How couldn’t I? There’s nothing good about me.” She snorted. “Fuck. No wonder Nightmare wants me so bad.”

“Gilda...” To my surprise, Trixie threw her arms around the gryphon and hugged her tight. After a brief second, I laid a gentle hoof on her shoulder for extra support.

“I am going to kill that bitch,” growled Nightmare before sighing, “Oh Aurora, I miss you so much. Come back to me, my love.”

“Love!?” But Nightmare was already lost in her own depression.

Gilda almost seemed to relax, for a split second she seemed close to settling into the hug, but after a moment her wings flared, and she pulled herself away from us.

“No. Fuck. Trix, I’m not trying to drag up sympathy or anything.”

A blue glow surrounded Gilda and she was forcibly dragged back into Trixie’s arms. “It’s not sympathy. You shouldn’t hate yourself, you know?”

She struggled in the glow. “Let go of me, Trix.” There was almost an edge to her voice. “I’m not fucking kidding, let me go.”

For a brief second, Trixie hesitated before she let the gryphon go and stepped back. “Sorry...”

Gilda glared at her. “No! You don’t need to be sorry.” Her expression softened and she put a palm to her face and sighed. “I mean... look, I’m sorry.”

“Trixie just doesn’t want you to hate yourself,” whispered the unicorn.

Gilda shrugged. “Give it time. In a few months you won’t care anymore, and you’ll hate me as much as anyone else.”

A death glare appeared on Trixie’s face, only for a sly smile to slowly replace it. Leaning forward, she whispered something in Gilda’s ear and the gryphoness immediately flinched away.

“No Trix, you don’t need to fix me or...” She sighed. “Look, don’t worry about it alright? I’ll be fine, and in the end you will too.” She shook her head. “Let’s just keep moving, okay? I’ve had enough emotional shit for one day.”

“Trixie isn’t trying to fix you! She just doesn’t want to see you destroy yourself like her mother did, alright? Trixie just wants to help. Somehow.” And then spoke in something akin to a whimper, “Please...”

Gilda stiffened, and she stared at Trixie with shock. She opened her beak to answer, only to close it after a moment. She stood in silence for a minute, before sighing and turning away. “You’ll be fine, Trix. Don’t worry about it.”

“Trixie wants you to be fine though.”

I blinked in surprise, eyes darting between the two as the pieces fell into place. As soon as they did, I turned my attention inwards and was relieved to find Nightmare still moping in the back of my mind. They may be annoying, but I would not wish Nightmare’s wrath on anypony.

Gilda sighed. “I’m not going to promise anything. Let’s just get you back to Equestria, then... we’ll see what happens.”

“At least promise to try.”

Gilda looked up at the sky. “Goddesses damnit Trix. I promise I’ll get you back to Equestria. I promise I won’t hurt you. I promise that I’m not gonna cut my wrists and drown myself in booze. That’s all I have to offer you right now.”

“Trixie just doesn’t want you to hate yourself. You don’t deserve to hate yourself. You are a good person, regardless of what other ponies may believe or say, it’s the truth. Alright?”

Gilda looked across at her. “I killed my first sentient when I was thirteen years old.” She stated flatly. “It wasn’t self-defense. It wasn’t an accident. I murdered them.” She swallowed and looked ahead. “I wasn’t sorry, and I’m still not. I’m not a good person.”

“I don’t care.” I blinked in surprise at Trixie’s use of first person. “I don’t care about that you silly gryphon. I just want you to be happy. Is that so hard to understand?”

Gilda smirked and nudged her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. In a month you’ll hate me, and then you won’t give a fuck anymore.”

“Not. Funny.” Trixie punched Gilda and for once, it looked as though it was meant to hurt the gryphon. “Don’t you dare say that again. I will not-” Her mouth slammed shut as her eyes darted over to me.

“Do not worry, Nightmare is currently busy up here.” I tapped my forehead. “We shall keep this from her for as long as we live.”

“Good.” Gilda turned around. “Cause if Nightmare touches her,” She jabbed a claw into my chest. “Then I’m gonna kill you both if you’re in there or not. And I don’t give a fuck if you’re a goddess, I’ll find a way.”

“Gilda!”

With a laugh, I waved Trixie off. “Thou may hate thyself, but there are far worse individuals out there. For all thy faults, thou art one of the best persons we have come across in a long time.” I turned my attention to Trixie. “Thou have made a good choice. Could do better considering the fowl language that comes from her mouth, but she is still a good choice. Do not let her get away.”

Gilda blinked and stepped back from me. “Luna, your opinion on what makes someone a good person means jackshit.” She glanced over at Trixie before turning back to me. “And I’m not fucking kidding. If you tell Nightmare, I swear to all the fucking elders, goddesses, and gryphon spirits that I will fucking end you.”

“Gilda...” Trixie laid a restraining hoof on her shoulder. “If you weren’t threatening a goddess, Trixie might actually have found this romantic.”

Gilda snorted. “It’s only funny until it happens. Everyone laughed about the Great Scars, saying they were barbarians and idiots, but in the end they were the ones who pulled the Kingdom up into the military power it is today. A mortal killing an immortal?” She shrugged. “Crazier things have happened.”

“May We suggest that thou behead us and then to lock the two in two separate boxes? We are unsure if this will actually kill an immortal, for We have never tried, but it is thy best chance.”

Gilda raised an eyebrow. “I was thinking I just skin you, and use your brains to tan that into leather. I disconnect all your muscle, and separate your bones. Basically just pull every last part of you apart and use it like I would for a normal kill. If that doesn’t kill someone, nothing I can do will.”

“Well We merely wished to tell thee the surefire way of doing it. Or thou could leave something buried in our heart or brain. It will degrade over time, but by then thou shalt be long dead.” I glanced over at Trixie who was staring at Gilda with a mixture of awe, lust, and fear. Weird filly.

“Well, I was planning on wearing your skin like a cloak.” Gilda shrugged.

“Gilda!” snapped Trixie.

“Right-right-right. If, Nightmare found out. I forgot the ‘if’.”

“Gilda... No skinning enemies and wearing them as a cloak. Got that?”

Gilda rolled her eyes and turned to her. “You’re taking the fun out of it. If I kill a goddess, there’s no way in Tartarus I’m not taking a trophy. If Calisto put manticore tails on his wall, I can wear a goddess cloak.” She paused and added. “If.”

“Trixie would rather you not die trying to get a goddess damn cloak.”

“Oh no. I won’t be trying to get the cloak. I’ll be trying to save your life or avenge your death. Whichever comes first. The cloak’s just a bonus.”

“So Trixie’s death is just a catalyst for you getting a cloak?” And there was the raised eyebrow. It had been far too long since I had seen that particular look given to a significant other. It always meant a show was about to start.

“What?” Gilda shook her head confused. “No. It’s not about the cloak, the cloak’s just an extra. It really is about either revenge or protecting you.”

“And yet you keep focusing on the cloak.”

“Pfft. What cloak?” She shrugged. “I’ve forgotten about it already?”

“You had better,” replied Trixie.

“Totally.” She smiled. “I’ve already forgotten what we’re even talking about.”

“So now Trixie’s death is that forgettable?”

Gilda claw impacted her face. “Goddesses damnit.” She shook her head and looked Trixie in the eye. “No. Your death is not forgettable.” She turned to me. “You better not tell Nightmare.” She pointed a thumb at herself. “And you better shut your beak before you get yourself in even more trouble.”

“Actually, how much can you keep from Nightmare anyways?” asked Trixie.

At her shoulder, Gilda silently mouthed at me, “I’m not kidding about the cloak. I will fucking wear you.”

“We can’t try to keep it away from her too actively or else she will sense We are hiding things and will try to break through. But We can misdirect her easily enough. We have managed to keep a lot hidden from her thus far, and there’s little reason to begin doubting otherwise,” I replied while ignoring Gilda.

The gryphon spoke up. “I just realized that if Luna figured it out, and she’s pretty freaking retarded, we’re gonna have to work way harder to hide it from Nightmare, who’s way less stupid.”

I bit my tongue at that comment.

“Does it matter? We just stop getting all emotional and play it cool.” Trixie turned to me. “Is Nightmare still preoccupied?”

“Yes. Why?” I asked as Gilda glanced over at Trixie.

With a sly grin Trixie suddenly whirled around, grabbed Gilda’s head and planted a kiss right on her beak. It looked awkward, sloppy and very messy, but when Trixie pulled back a second or two later, she was flushed red and very happy.

Gilda just stood there, looking as shocked as if she’d been struck with lightning. “Well,” she said after a second. “It looks like you just figured out beak to muzzle kissing.”

A smirk appeared on Trixie’s face. “Well I am the Great and Powerful for a reason. But, Trixie thinks she can still do with some practice.” Both hooves found themselves wrapped around Gilda’s neck as Trixie looked up with bedroom eyes. “Care to oblige?”

Gilda smirked. “Well, well, well. Trixie admitting there’s something she hasn’t mastered.” She tilted her head. “Who are you, and what did you do to Trix?”

“Does it matter?” Trixie leaned forward until her lips were brushing along Gilda’s beak. “And are you really complaining?”

After a second Gilda pulled away. “As awesome as it might be,” She jerked her head at me. “We have company, and in the back of that company’s head is a murderer who might become unbusy at any moment.” She looked down. “Later though.”

“We are willing to give thee some privacy at night if thou prefer. Perhaps separate rooms at an inn next time we are in a town,” I commented. “Or even to just sleep further away from thee.”

“Hey, woah.” Gilda glanced over at me. “We’ve only been going out for a day now, and that was our first kiss.” She paused. “Unless you count last night,” she shook her head. “Whatever, the point is we’re not fucking yet. We don’t exactly need a shit ton of privacy.”

“Wait, thou mean ponies kiss in public now?” My eyes widened in surprise. “Truly? Well, at any rate, with some privacy, you two will be able to snuggle and kiss without fear is what We meant.”

“Oh.” Gilda said flatly.

“And here Trixie thought you were the type to jump in bed for some early fun.” My eyes widened as I stared at them. Ponies actually talked about such things so openly now?

Gilda shifted uncomfortably. “Well, uh, I mean... it’s like, uh.... Ah fuck it.” She looked up at the sky. “I don’t want to have sex yet.”

“...You say that as though it’s a bad thing or admitting it will end the relationship,” chuckled Trixie.

Gilda shifted. “Uh... Trix. I’m not... fuck. There’s no way to put this really nicely, so I’m just going to say it. I only agreed to date you to be nice. I hadn’t even thought of you like that until last night. I mean, yeah I’m attracted, but... “ Again that uncomfortable shuffle. “I’m not sure I want to screw just yet, okay?”

“Are... are you... are you breaking up with me...?” Trixie looked on the verge of tears.

Gilda swallowed, and looked like she weighing up her options. “Well, no I wasn’t, but maybe that’s a good idea?” She squirmed again. “I mean, you’d be way better off without being attached to me.”

“Trixie... That is... I disagree...” replied Trixie as she tried to keep her tears in. “Trixie has never felt safer.”

Gilda immediately leaned across and put an arm around her shoulders. “No- shit- uh.... I mean...” she stumbled for words. “Damn it Trix. You’re just not getting how bad of news I am. Fuck, I just want you safe. More than anything else, and I can’t do that. Okay?”

“As far as Trixie is concerned, you are good news,” replied Trixie as she drew out of Gilda’s arms. “So are you breaking up with Trixie or not?”

“Uh... I guess?” she answered hesitantly. “I mean, it’s... uh...Shit. I don’t want to, I really fucking don’t, bu-”

Trixie leaned forward and forced another kiss on Gilda. This one lingered though, and it was clear that there was tongue involved this time. A lot of tongue. I looked up at the sky and rolled my eyes. To think such public displays were acceptable now!

“Then don’t,” whispered Trixie as I looked back at the two. The two stood there, foreheads touching. “Then don’t leave me. Please...”

Gilda sighed and furrowed her brow. “...I’m such a selfish bitch.” She pulled back. “This cannot end well. Fuck. Alright. We’ll stay together, but...” She trailed off. “Alright. We’ll see how far we can take this.”

“Good.” A tender nuzzle from Trixie. “Don’t scare me like that.”

“Yeah okay.” Gilda put a palm to her face, and sighed. “Come on, we better keep moving.”

“Agreed,” I said. “And please refrain from such displays of affection. We are not used to such open shows. It is... disturbing.”

Gilda rolled her eyes. “Old ponies. Geez, were they ever young? Lame old farts have no idea how to have fun.”

Trixie chuckled as she leaned against Gilda. “Mmmmhm.”

We all turned and began to walk again, after a while Trixie stepped away from Gilda and I glanced up at the sky. We had lost too much time to all that emotional talk, but it had given me an insight into their life. Their relationship was something I had not considered at all, and that required a few adjustments, but overall, nothing too serious. Another check on Nightmare told me, she was still moping, and I frowned. This ‘Aurora’ was a starting to become a serious problem.

Regardless, a couple more days and then I shall finally get the answers I so desperately seek.

Comments

[OrphiusOlyandra]

This chapter was pretty damn fun to write. The whole Trixie-Gilda romance was super fun to play with and I probably threw more than one curveball at y1 in the process, but I'll leave the Gilda section for him to talk about.

Now, the Luna section. This kicks off her character development bits where she starts learning about modern Equestria and what is now acceptable as well as the previous war between NMM and Celestia. It is also another scene where Luna and Gilda butt heads very, very heavily. Probably because I subscribe more to a consequentialist viewpoint and I tried to bring that into the conversation. I'm not a complete consequentialist though so I don't really agree with everything being said. We also get a scene where we see Luna and NMM conversing without snapping at each other and so forth, which was an interesting change of pace.

And yes, 'fowl language' was a deliberate pun.

And yes, things can always get worse. Especially since it's y1 and me writing this thing.

Bleah, I lost my train of thought somewhere.

[Y1]

And this is the chapter where both me and Orphius finished it, took one look at it and realized, "holy shit that's big." This is mostly my fault, because I have a very drawn out writing style. I have a real tendency to drag out conversations and make them off topic and winding and really organic, but I also lose sight of why they were there in the first place. But I suppose if you've read this far into the story you don't really mind that too much.

And the Trixie Gilda continues! And it's as dysfunctional as hell. I guess that's what happens when you get two emotionally stunted jerks in a relationship. Seriously, writing Trixie and Gilda is endlessly entertaining, even if Orphius totally dumped it on me from out of left field.

Also mentionable is Gilda and Luna fighting. I'm fairly crap at action scenes, so Orphius kinda had to step in and make this one not shit. But, we also hadn't planned on having them spar in the first place, and it was Luna that suggested it. So, another thing Orphius dropped on me from no where.

Oh, and I think this might be a good time to mention that I've divided the gryphons up into a bunch of tribes. If you haven't figured it out already, the Great Scars are generally thought of as a military tribe, the Black Eyes are high class and form most of the governing body including the Royal family. There are other tribes, but they're not really relevant and this is all just background information that doesn't affect the story too much. Oh, and another thing is gryphons only have one name. They have two identifiers, their first name (Gilda, Graciano, Abilo, etc etc) and their tribe (Great Scars, Black Eyes, White Beaks etc etc).

Anyway, that's it for me. Oh! And in other news this story has been written to it's completion, so, short of the two of us dying (which is surprisingly likely given our chances of murdering each other), there's no chance of you not seeing the end of this story as long you keep reading.

[Y1]

1890408

It is also another scene where y1 and Gilda butt heads very, very heavily

What? I'm not sure it's possible to butt heads with your own character, (Unless that character is Fluttershy, because she sucks) so I'm not entirely certain what you're saying here? This the bit about Gilda's moral outlook?

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1890436
This. It's all his fault. More than once I've wanted to yell at him "Finish it there!"
Oh, dysfunctional refering to the characters, not the authors. Okay. 'cause we're pretty dysfunctional as well.
Yes, I love dropping things on you, it's part of my charm and why you love me so much.
Everyone, the person who did the world building. Give him a hand please.
Don't tempt me. I think we both came close to killing each other multiple times.

1890455
Typo. Fixed now

[Y1]

1890463

Oh, dysfunctional refering to the characters, not the authors. Okay. 'cause we're pretty dysfunctional as well.

Oh yes, definitely. One day one of us (probably me) will murder the other (probably you) and make it look like an accident. A stab wound can look like a paper cut, right?

Yes, I love dropping things on you, it's part of my charm and why you love me so much.

Love is a strong, and entirely incorrect, word. Perhaps tolerate, but that imply's too much patience on my part.

Everyone, the person who did the world building. Give him a hand please.

What? It's in the story, I just felt like mentioning it in my notes. It's not like that's new information.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1890482
That sounds about right. Either that or I'll drive you insane first.
Nah, I'm pretty certain it's love.
Fine, ignore the compliment then

[Y1]

1890573
It's most certainly not love.
And I thought that you were being sarcastic on that comment. My mistake.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1890591
Yes, your sarcasm detector sucks

[Y1]

1890609
Well stop using sarcasm then! It goes over my head, and you just end up having to explain the joke, and nobody wants that.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1890626
Maybe I want that? It's fine seeing you clueless

[Carnifaxy]

I just love seeing you guys work together on this, and the Trixie/Gilda stuff is just so damn adorable.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1893864
Thanks! Despite our bickering, it is pretty fun working together (to the point where writing our own stuff felt dull in comparison). I'm actually writing the dialogue to Luna in one of his other fics which serves as the prequel(?) to this one.
Yeah, I think we both unconsciously tried to make it adorable and I'm glad it comes across that way. They're screwed up, but they have each other at least.

[Carnifaxy]

1893876
I just kinda hope that they have a happy ending together. Might not happen, but they're too cute to split up!

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1893900
No spoilers here especially since we've actually already finished writing everything so I know exactly what happens (for once).

[Carnifaxy]

1893909
I can understand that, it'd suck to have the surprise ruined before the chapter's are even out.

[Y1]

1893876

which serves as the prequel(?)

It's not really a prequel. It's a completely stand alone story, it's just set in the same timeline as this one. It doesn't even share any characters other than Celestia and Luna. And Nightmare.
1893864
Thank you. Trixie and Gilda is adorable, that I must agree on. I'd spoil the ending, but I'm sure you wouldn't really appreciate that, and I'm pretty sure Orphius would yell at me.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1894080
Yeah, it's really weird. It's a stand alone story, that was sorta tacked on at the last minute to this one for world building purposes and nothing else. It's not really a prequel, it just is.

Yell? No. I'd just smack you with a frozen fish.

[Carnifaxy]

1894080
Could we expect a sequel somewhere in the future?

[Y1]

1894113
Well I wouldn't call it tacked on. I think it all fits together fairly seamlessly, and it does actually add to the story.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1894135 Unlikely. I think the ending wraps everything up nicely. Unless the sequel is refering to something else
1894142 Somehow. I still don't know how you managed to pull that one off truth be told.

[Y1]

1894135
Er... Probably not. A direct sequel to this story is... plausible, I guess. I mean, I can easily see a story there about... things that happen towards the end, but we have no plans for a sequel. And the other story I'm working on is not a sequel by any means, especially given that it's set a thousand years before this one. But a sequel to this? Uh...Not at the moment, and we have no plans, but there is the potential for one.

[Y1]

1894154

Somehow. I still don't know how you managed to pull that one off truth be told.

With skill. But seriously, it wasn't that hard to mix the existing backstory and mythology in with this story. It all fit together very nicely actually.

[Carnifaxy]

1894154
1894164
Perhaps not a direct sequel about events in this one, but seeing the group working together would be pretty neat for some future story down the line.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1894193 Surprisingly well.
1894197 Maybe. I know for a fact y1 has too much on his plate right now and I'm technically on a writing break (ha!)

[Y1]

1894197
At the very least, we're not going to seriously discuss a sequel to this story is finished and everyone has seen the ending.
1894227
Helluva break. But yeah, I'm way to busy to be with Penumbra, A Long Journey and my up and coming greatest fic of all time ever.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1894271
Oh shut up. I can't even go a day without writing so hush.

[Y1]

1894285
Then it's not really a break is it? More like some kind of self inflicted penance.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1894294 Oh hush you

[DoomManta]

1894271

and my up and coming greatest fic of all time ever.

Well someone's modest...

[Y1]

1895937
The intent was sarcasm, but... apparently I'm about as good at being sarcastic as I am at detecting it. Which is to say not very good at all.

[DoomManta]

1895978 I was being sarcastic as well. I assert that YOU SIR just can't spot it!

[OrphiusOlyandra]

1895992 He can't. Trust me.

[Y1]

1895992
Freaking damn it.

Why can't everyone else stop using sarcasm!

[Storm Cloak]

I loved the part when luna was so shocked about ponies talking about kissing and fucking in public.javascript:smilie(''); The way you wrote it i could see the look on Lunas face very clearly and it was priceless.javascript:smilie('');

[ForSpite]

It's hard to visualize the fight scene because you don't really describe how Luna is holding the sword when it starts.

It's not in her hooves and apparently she has limited reach so I'd assume she's using her mouth, but then Gilda talks about 'getting inside her guard where her telekinesis is less handy' which... is an odd statement. Telekinesis is easier to manuever around your body at close range than a limb and if she was telekinetically holding the sword, she wouldn't have to charge, she could just swing it at Gilda from a far enough distance that I don't see Gilda backing out of her max reach. Unicorns have used their telekinesis on objects easily dozens of feet away in the show, which would create a horrible death field you'd have to charge through if you were trying to attack her with a blade and you started outside her telekinetic reach. Reach matters. Spears usually beat swords because of reach. A difference that big would be horrendous to cope with.