Temple of the Stars

by OrphiusOlyandra

Chapter 21

“Trixie! We have seen somegryph to the east!” I called down as I began angling to the right. “A large building, perhaps a warehouse of some sort.”

Down below me, Trixie kept running along, barely able to keep up with the speed I was moving at. I flared my wings and landed lightly on the ground before the building. With my magic I began probing the surrounding area, looking for any signs of life or movement, and almost immediately, I found something in the building before me just like I had expected.

“This better not be another false positive,” panted Trixie when she finally caught up.

“And if thou moved a bit faster we could have saved many more by now,” I said as I blasted the door down.

“Even Trixie has to admit that was a tad excessive. Have you ever heard of knocking?”

“Silence.” I began walking forward, tossing a glowing sphere of light into the building as I went. “Hello! We mean thou no harm!”

Still no response.

“If there was anyone in there, you’ve scared them,” sighed Trixie.

“Well what did you ex-” All the warning I got was movement from the corner of my eye before an arrow embedded itself in the doorframe next to me. “Thou missed.”

“That was a warning shot,” growled a voice from one of the dark corners of the room. “The next shot will not miss. Now leave, these gryphons are under my charge.”

“Thou dare threaten a goddess?” Just as I began reaching out with my magic, Trixie placed a hoof on my shoulder and I sighed. “Very well then, I won’t castrate him where he stands.”

“Luna...” warned Trixie and I rolled my eyes. “Remember what we said about things being done differently now?”

“We do not have time for being nice!” I said. “As soon as it starts raining, everything will go to Tartarus. The quickest and most efficient manner to do any of this is to just forcibly teleport them out of here.”

“Oh no you don’t, if I see either of your horns glow, I’m going to put an arrow through your eye.”

“Silence knave!” He suddenly found himself before me and a sword at his throat. “Thou was not spoke to, so do not speak! Now where were We? Ah yes.” I turned back to Trixie. “We do not have time to be nice. We need to act quickly and efficiently to save as many as possible.”

“Luna, behi-”

I caught the arrows without a second thought. “Really, We would never hath though manners could degenerate so quickly in a thousand years. Can none of thee see we are trying to have a civil conversation here?”

“Luna, drop the fo- cub! Trixie means cub. Drop the cub.”

“Does thou promise the behave?” The whelp nodded his head and I released him.

“Now the sword. This is a civil conversation after all.”

“The sword is for self-defense,” I replied.

“You don’t need a sword for self-defense, you’re a fucking alicorn!”

I eyed her critically. “Thou sound more like Gilda every day. Very well.” I dispelled the sword. “Now can you please tell those whelps to drop their toys?”

There was a moment of silence.

“Or do We need to disarm all of thou personally?” The sound of weapons hitting the floor was heard. “Now, was that so hard?”

“Oh Tartarus, once this is all over, Trixie needs a drink. How did she get saddled with you?”

“A drink! Oh yes, a drink would be absolutely superb.” I smiled happily, that seemed to only disturb the whelp. “And what art thou staring at?”

“You killed my father,” he said while glaring at me.

“Oh.” A shrug. “Join the line cub, We hath killed many. Perhaps once thou art older We shall give thou the privilege of fighting us in a duel. Regardless, today it is our duty to save all of thou from a fate worse than death.”

“I don’t believe you.”

A groan of frustration escaped. “We do not care. You are coming, and that is final.”

“No we’re not!” yelled a voice from behind me. “We’re not going with a monster like you! You killed daddy and mommy!”

“Yeah! We’d rather die than go with you!” yelled another.

Somewhere, another cub began sobbing, crying out for her parents and sisters.

“What did my brother ever do to you? He was just working for the king and doing ex-exper-”

“Experiments?” supplied Trixie.

“Yeah! That! He said it’d help everygryph, and how it’d improve our lives. I didn’t get it, but it sounded important,” said another.

“We took you into our castle,” whispered the one before me. “And in return you killed everygryph! You’re a monster!” With tears in his eyes, he lunged at me and I conjured my sword. At the very last second though, Trixie grabbed the cub and pulled him back just before he could impale himself. “You’re evil! I hate you!”

“Trixie frankly agrees. Luna is evil, there is a reason why she was banished to the moon for a thousand years.” The showmare glared at me, but I just rolled my eyes.

“Just leave!” A more mature sounding voice called out from the darkness. My eyes tracked a soldier emerging from the shadows, and though it was empty, he kept one claw at the sheath on his hip. “Whatever help you’re here to give us, we don’t want it.”

“And to think thou wouldst let the child speak for thee.”

The soldier shrugged. “He had something to say to you, I let him to say it.”

“You allowed a child talk to a mad, sociopathic filly.” Trixie sounded caught between anger, exasperation and disbelief. “Luna could have killed them all!”

“Don’t tempt us,” I muttered under my breath.

“I’m a soldier, not a parent.” It was at that time I noticed how young he looked. “If that mad bitch wants to kill us, then she’ll do it. What the fuck do you want me to do about it?”

“How about you follow us out of Aviana? We’re trying to locate survivors and take them out before things start getting really bad,” said Trixie. “Those clouds are being loaded up with poison, we’re trying to stop it, but better safe than sorry.”

He snorted. “Really bad? Lady, since this morning I’ve seen my regiment butchered, my C.O. torn in half by my dad turned into a monster, and found myself looking after...” He glanced over his shoulder. “Shit, I don’t know how many cubs.” He fixed his gaze on Luna. “Excuse me if I don’t exactly believe you when the insane god that attacked the palace shows up and offers to save us all while threatening to kill us if we don’t go with her.” At this distance I could smell alcohol on his breath. “Why should I trust either of you?”

“Do you have anything to lose?” countered Trixie before I could say anything.

He glanced around and shrugged. “Shelter?Pride? Any chance of survival I had?”

“And if changelings finds thou?” I asked. “Does thou think thou can hold them off? What if those monsters find thou? We are the best chance of survival thou has.”

He shrugged again. “So, we can hide in here and maybe not get spotted, or go out there with you and definitely get spotted. I doubt I’m the only one that doesn’t want to put their life in her hands.” He tilted his head at Luna. After a second he corrected himself. “Hooves, whatever.”

“Very well.” I turned around and began walking out the warehouse. “Their deaths shall be on thy head.”

“H-hold on!” He shouted out at me. “You say we should trust you, but then you just turn around and walk away? Give us a reason to trust you, damn it. Of course we want to fucking live.”

“We hath wasted enough time here. There are others to save,” I snapped.

“Luna! Come on, we have to at least try,” said Trixie.

“Then thou can speak to them, but We are leaving,” I said.

“Five minutes. Just five minutes,” Trixie pressed on and I sighed, waving at her to get on with it.

The soldier stepped closer to Trixie, and stood there waiting for her to present her case.

“If you don’t come with us, I’ll have Luna bind you and drag you out with us against your will,” she said. “You will die in here, but if you come with us, Luna can at least protect you. Think about it, she fought her way out of the fucking palace. If she can do that, some monsters won’t pose a threat at all.”

“Lady, I don’t doubt she can fight, but what if she turns on us? What if things get hard and she decides to cut her losses? The entire Thirteenth Legion is going through the streets and killing or capturing everyone that’s not already a monster. Is she really gonna even bother trying to protect these cubs if that comes at her?”

“The entire Thirteenth did thou say?” A smirk crossed my lips. “That should be fun.”

“Agreed, but if it comes to that, you’ll need my help.”

“Perhaps, perhaps not. Every single time we have trusted thou in the past has led to thou taking control for longer than the appointed time.”

“Trixie is just glad Gilda’s not here,” she sighed. “Though Trixie would prefer to be with Gilda right now. As for your concern, you have no guarantee that she won’t do that, but neither does Trixie.”

He frowned. “Who’s Trixie, and what’s she got to do with this?”

“Enough! Trixie, we are leaving.” I turned and immediately stormed out the door.

“Alright, alright!” He shouted at me. “Fuck it. We’re dead anyway.” There was a pause before he added. “Fine, we’ll go with you.”

“What! But big bro-”

“Shhhhh, it’ll be fine little sis, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you. To any of you. I swear on my duty as a guard.”

“Finally,” I growled as I took to the air. “Trixie, stay with them and send up a flare if thou runs into trouble.”

“Running away?” asked Trixie. “Why is Trixie not surprised? You finally come face to face with the consequences of your actions and you run away like a scared little filly.”

“Do not test our patience,” I snarled. “Keep the children away from us or face the consequences.”

There was a pregnant pause before the guard said, “She’s a real bitch, isn’t she?”

“We heard that!” I called down from the sky as I slowly began circling. “Also, get the guard up here, as well as a child. Seeing them might draw more out of hiding.”

“You want to put a cub at risk?” The guard shouted up at me, before he drew level and began circling around. “You aren’t my C.O. No way I’m letting that happen without orders.”

“Save more or save less, the choice rests with thee.” I turned a critical eye to the clouds above us. “We also have to hurry, these clouds are beginning to reach critical mass.”

My back slammed into the wall, and a gryphon the size of a carriage roared at me. I barely rolled out of the way in time to avoid being made into pulp. The clouds may have been as soft as anything, but the brick of the weather station was as hard as, well, brick.

I scrambled to my feet and bolted up the stairs, that beast’s lumbering footsteps just a second behind me. What the fuck did it take to kill these things? I’d cut its throat, damn it! It was spurting from arteries and leaking at veins and it was still coming. All I can say is I’m glad the fuckers can’t fly, or I’d really be fucked.

Ahead I saw a supply door, and with a burst of speed I smashed through it and into the sunlight. I didn’t wait for my vision to clear, before I spread my wings and tried to fly out of its reach. Not fast enough, because a talon wrapped around my leg and I was slammed into the wall like a cub’s toy. It raised its arm to do that again, but even dazed, I snatched onto the railing and the sudden jerk yanked me out if its grip. Looking across from me, I saw a dead, brain-dead soldier, lying next to a changeling that had been torn in half. Reaching out desperately, I snatched up his longsword and turned around just in time as the beast reached for me again.

It jerked back with a scream of pain and rage as it’s hand went flying off, and rearing on its hind legs like that, it was easy to shove the blade through its throat and out the back of its neck, cutting its spine. I allowed myself a moment to relish victory, as the beast tottered unsteadily, but realized my mistake only after it started to fall towards me.

“Oh shit.” I gasped out as it collapsed on top of me. All the air was smacked out of my lungs, and I my eyes bugged as I was crushed beneath its weight.

With a grunt of exertion I started to push it off, but fuck me, that thing had to weigh a ton. I tried to wiggle out from under it, but I was bloody pinned. I shoved as hard as I could, but I wasn't able to do it. The thing was too fucking heavy. My arms gave out, and the little bit that I’d raised it was undone as it fell back on top of me.

I would have laughed at the situation, but I was having trouble breathing. Where’s a unicorn when you need one?

Suddenly the creature was rolled off me, and in surprise, I shielded my eyes from the sunlight as I caught sight of my savior’s silhouette.

My ‘savior’ roared at me in incoherent rage.

“Mother fucker!” I rolled backwards away from its lumbering first strike, and with the sword, I slashed its chest as it charged past me. The beast slammed into the railings, and they bent out of shape. I charged the creature, and my momentum was just enough to push it past the point of no return. It flailed its arms and grabbed mine, dragging me over the edge with it as we fell from the top floor of the weather station. With a soft whump, we landed on the clouds below and separated for a second as we were thrown apart. The wind being knocked out of us made us both slow to stand, and the sword I’d been using had fallen through the cloud cover.

“Oh, come on!” I shouted in exasperation as I realised I’d have to fight this thing with just my knives again.

With a roar it charged at me, and despite being smaller and faster, I still struggled to avoid it. When it overreached, I ducked inside its guard and tried to cut through its muscles to cripple it, but my knife just got caught in them. I had to let go as the beast swung at me again. The thing didn’t give me time to separate, and it charged straight at me again, though one of its arms was a bit jerky. I dropped low to avoid its attacks again, and tripped it over as best I could, but it felt like I’d been bucked by an earth pony.

Still, I was on my feet before it was and I noticed that we were nearing the edge of the cloud. Without the weather being properly managed, the cloud cover was a little patchy and incomplete at points, so a massive crack was forming near us. Without time to really think it through, I shoulder charged the beast and shoved it just enough to get one foot over the edge. Scrambling for grip, its weight proved too much for the cloud to hold, and it fell over the edge with a roar of rage and fear.

I was satisfied by the thought that about a minute from now, a thousand feet below, some gryphon would randomly see the beast splatter on the streets and wonder what the fuck was happening up here.

Putting my sunglasses back on and chuckling at the idea, and not at the near death, I flew back up to the top floor of the weather factory. I’d been slowly working my way through the building, trying to find Grace or some part of the cloud production that was vital enough that me breaking it would stop the rain. No luck, and I ran into those two things. The call of Hate and Anger was there, telling me to just let go and kill those things or die trying, but I was gonna make it back to Trixie one way or another. No way was I letting myself die in a berserk rage as I charged one of those with a tiny knife.

When I was back in the station, I starting searching around again, but this time I took it slow and cautious in case I ran into more of those. Thank fuck I didn’t. I went deeper and deeper in, knowing that the building was creating the cloud it was hanging on. All twenty floors of it. Eventually I found a map, and from there I made my way to the weather production chambers.

I had a close call with some brain-deads and a changeling, but a little detour later, I’d evaded them and was back on track to where I wanted to be. When I got there, I slowly pushed the door open and padded into the room. It was dark in here, but my eyes adjusted quickly thanks to Nightmare being a bitch.

“Grace?” I called out as I moved further in. “You in here?”

A head popped out from behind a machine, and I was so damn relieved that it was him.

“Gilda?” he asked in confusion and came towards me. His eyes were nightkin, and his coat had darkened to match mine. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t worry about that, I-”

“Your eyes.” He frowned as he checked me up and down. “She did change you.”

“Yeah, I know, and she did the same thing to you too, fucking bitch.”

“I volunteered for it, we needed the edge to make it through Ashguard.”

“Well the bitch still shouldn’t have done it!” I snapped. “Did it hurt for you as much as it did for me?”

He shuddered a little bit. “Yes, it was thoroughly unpleasant, but it lasted only a minute. She told me that Nightmare Moon forced the ritual onto you.”

“Yeah, she did, but I’m fine. Listen-”

“You shouldn’t be here, Gilda. Aviana's gone to Tartarus.”

“I know, but-”

“Just stick with me, I could use your help and together we can fix this. Maybe even earn you a pardon so you can live in Aviana again.”

“No, Grace, listen-”

“Come on, Gilda.”

He turned away and I shouted out at him, “The king is dead!”

He froze in his footsteps. Slowly he turned to look at me. “What?”

“He went insane and Luna had to kill him.” I continued, and the look of hurt on his face was enough to make me feel guilty for telling him like that.

“Then the divine whore has much to answer for!” He spat vehemently.

“Yeah, she does, but-”

“I must carry out the king’s last orders then.” He turned to walk away. “Come, you can help-”

“Grace!” I shouted over the top of him. “I’m trying to tell you not to mix that shit in with the rain.”

He paused again. “What?”

“That shit’ll destroy Aviana completely. You can’t mix it in or it’ll turn everyone into a monster.”

“Well I’m afraid that it’s a little late for that.” He tilted his head at a machine. “It’s already been done.”

“Fuck!” I swore. “Well then turn the damn thing off!”

Again he shook his head. “I’m afraid not Gilda.”

I blinked at him in surprise.

“Aviana’s gone, done for. Everyone in it is doomed already, but with this rain, we’ll be able to use their deaths for a greater cause. Against an army of monsters, the changelings will be crushed, and the ritual will allow us to control the beasts and stop this from ever happening again.”

I stared at him in complete shock, my mind unable to process what I was hearing my brother say.

“This is a national tragedy, and not the intended purpose of the research, but in the end, the legacy of the Temple of the Stars will be used to protect the Kingdom.”

Slowly I shook my head. “You can’t do that. There’s still survivors down there and...” My blood ran cold. “Trixie’s down there.”

He hesitated. “I’m sorry to hear that, but-”

“But what?!” I interrupted him with a shove. “Trixie is down there! Shut those fucking machines off right now!”

“Gilda, be rational,” he protested. “The good of the Kingdom comes before your-”

“Goddesses damn it, Grace!” I interrupted him again. “There won’t be a Kingdom left if you do that! We can’t use the ritual, we’re fucking gryphons.”

“Gryphons with magic, Gilda.” The shadows around him deepened, and he raised a talon as a thin webbing of solid shadow formed over it. “We can do the ritual.”

“No we can’t! We’re just using shadow magic! That’s just one school, never mind illusion or mind magic or all the different goddess damn fields!”

He just shook his head sadly, not believing me. “We can do this, Gilda. I can do this. When the new king is raised, he’ll have an army the size of Aviana’s entire populace at his beck and call. We’ll march on the Changeling Wastes themselves, burn the hives to the ground and claim more territory for our people than we’ve ever held before!”

I just swallowed. “Trixie’s down there Grace. That’s the end of it, you’re wrong, and you’re putting her at risk, so turn those fucking machines off, or I’ll do it myself!” I snarled and jabbed his chest with my claw.

He tilted his head at me for a moment before he sighed. “I’m sorry Gilda, but the Kingdom comes before your... partner.”

I looked at him for a moment, before I shoved past him. “Fucking fine then. I’ll just destroy the machines myself.”

I felt his claw on my shoulder, and the strength in his grip as he drew me to a halt. “I can’t let you do that.”

I looked over my shoulder at him. “Grace, this won’t save anyone. It’ll destroy the Kingdom and kill the best goddess damn pony I ever met!”

There was a pause, and I recognized reluctance in his eyes. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

My lack of answer was answer enough.

He sighed sadly. “For what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry. I would have loved to be the best man at the wedding, and I only respect anyone that could help you.” His grip on my shoulder tightened, and before I knew what happened I found myself being body slammed into the ground, his arms around my neck tightening and my vision fading. “But this is for the good of the Kingdom.”

My elbow slammed into his gut, and the momentary weakness allowed me to break free of his grip. I came to my feet, and found myself in a standoff with him. My brother between me and the weather machine that would kill Trixie.

“I’m sorry Gilda. I truly am.” The sound of a chime to his left made him turn his head, and I followed his gaze to a readout. “It’s raining already. You’re too late to stop it.”

I shook my head, and blinked away tears. “No! No I can still stop this!”

He gazed at me forlornly, before slowly he drew the long sword strapped across his back and smoothly drew up into a stance. “So be it.”

I grit my beak and blinked the tears from my eyes as I drew my knives. Without anything more to say, I charged at him.

“Hold that left line!” I yelled as I dropped down from above, crushing a bug beneath my hooves. “They are almost out, just another five minutes!”

I skipped to the side, my blade coming down even as another two protected my flank. Beside me, another guard went down, but before the changeling could break the line, another stepped in to fill the void. I released a shockwave, tossing the enemy back and liquefying their insides in the process.

“Trixie! Hurry it up!” I bucked the guard beside me out of the way, just as an arrow narrowly missed his head. “And someone kill that sniper!”

Another guard went down and I swore. If guards kept getting slaughtered at this rate, we’d be overrun in a minute. I glanced up at the sky, a growl rumbling in the back of my throat. My spell was managing to keep out the rain, but if I used too much magic it would collapse.

“Come on, just let me out. We can clean this up together.”

“All thy words are lies.”

“Let me slaughter them all.”

“We do not require thee to win.”

“Fall back,” I said. “We shall hold them long enough without thou.”

The guard nodded and signaled the retreat while I tossed out an expanding barrier. It was nothing more than a wall, but it pushed the enemy back, crushing some against the buildings in the process. Gryphons all around me began scrambling back, more than half of our meager force requiring assistance to even walk. Before the first wave had dissipated, more monsters and changelings filled the void and were rushing towards us. I tossed down another barrier before tapping my earth pony magic and raising the ground around us to block off the streets. It’d buy us time, but in a minute or two they’d probably be able to climb over the barriers or bust their way through the buildings.

“We want those hurt on bows, those who can still move to scavenge as many arrows as possible, and those who are unhurt shall be on melee at choke points. Are there any demolition experts?” A couple of claws came up. “Seal off entrances, weaken the building. Trixie! How much longer!” I glanced over my shoulder at the walls I had made. “We do not have much time left!”

“One more minute!” came her yell.

“Thou has thirty seconds.” The first gryphon crawled over the top of the wall. “Make that ten seconds!”

I conjured up a bow and began laying down as much suppressing fire as possible, which didn’t amount to much considering the horde that was descending on us. All I could do was decrease the radius of my spell to let more rain in in order to get one last shockwave out. I still had some pegasus magic left, but against clouds that thick and an army this large? Useless.

Unless...

“Showmare!”

“Trixie has done! It’s done! The orphanage and hospital have been evacuated!”

I glanced back at the advancing army and realized the changelings had been using the gryphons shields. Clever tactics if I do say so myself, and something I would have done in their position. Sure, the constant loss of units was not ideal, but they could afford the losses, while we could not. If I was not around, it would have worked and been over in a minute.

Looks like I am a monster after all.

“Everyone, get underground now!” I leapt into the air and began reaching out with my pegasus magic. “Now!”

The ragtag group began dropping back into the building and through the hole that Trixie should have blasted in the floor. If she didn’t, this wasn’t going to work, but I had no reason to doubt her. With my magic, I called down a two tornados to wreak as much havoc as possible. A part of me mourned the fact that two was all I could manage, and that they’d last less than ten seconds, but it would be enough.

Once the tornados dispersed, I hit the ground with a dull thud as the last of my magic was used up. The weather shield collapsed and I felt the cool rain trickling through my fur. Eyes barely open, I watched as the mass advanced and some part of me noticed the building behind me collapsing.

Hopefully that’d buy them enough time to escape.

Maybe I was a monster, maybe I am evil, maybe...maybe the world would be better without me. Regardless, if I was going to go down, I was going to do down fighting.

“That’s my girl, I knew you’d come around eventually. Now just let me out and we can end this once and for all.”

“No. We do this together, or not at all.” Grim determination filled every word.

“What!? You foal! You’re going to get us both killed!”

I struggled back onto my hooves, before collapsing once more. “No, thou art about to get us both killed.”

“You’re wrong!” I could hear the fear in her voice.

“Thou hast said we art a monster.” The first arrow pierced my flesh and I felt pain course through my body. “We have denied it with all our might, but We were lying to ourselves. Gilda... Gilda called us a monster. Those gryphons viewed us as a monster. An ally, yes, but still a monster. Trixie thinks of us as a monster. We hath hidden and sought shelter with excuses of the past, but no longer.”

Another arrow and the first gryphon reached me, his sword going through my shoulder. The following kick cracked my ribs and tossed me across the ground. They weren’t planning on killing me, this was going to be torture. If I could have, I would have smiled.

“You’re wrong. You’re not a monster! Shut up! S-Shut up!”

“When thou said our denial made thou stronger, We wondered what our acceptance would do.” In the pool of blood beneath me, I saw Nightmare Moon staggering back, clutching her head. “We are a monster.

Four simple words. Four measly words that had so little meaning apart, yet so much when uttered together with conviction. Saying those four words was the single most difficult thing I have ever done. It meant nullifying every single accomplishment. It meant admitting I was weak, pathetic, useless. It meant so much. To think four words could have such impact.

“Thou art a shadow of the true self,” I whispered into the pouring rain as more blades impaled themselves in me.

“Thou art the anger, the sadness, the frustration, the jealously we sought to hide from.” Slowly, I forced myself onto my hooves, ignoring the pain of having a dozen blades in me. “Thou art us. The bloodlust, the need for love, the... the...”

I opened my eyes, flooding the square with bright white light.

“Thou art us.”

A wave of magic expanded outwards, throwing everything back.

“We are thou.”

A second wave, stronger than the first, causing the ground to crack.

“Thou came from the sea of our soul, and back to that sea thou shalt go.”

The air began cackling with raw power, the electricity danced across my every being. Pressure weighed down on me from all directions, squeezing me until I threatened to pop. But I did not stop. I kept drawing magic in, I kept pumping it out. I did not know where it came from, what crevice such raw power could have hidden in, but I didn’t care. Mad laughter erupted forth and I drank in the sight of all those enemies. All it took was the lightest touch and I could make one explode.

But redemption always starts somewhere.

They would die, they had to die, but they did not have to suffer. Yes, this is where my redemption would start. I was a monster, but that did not mean I had to remain one. This one act, this final act would be my redemption.

“We art Princess of the Night, the guardian of desires, the giver of dreams.” I condensed all that magic down into a single point, collapsing it in on itself again and again. “We are also thy darkest nightmares.”

The sheer weight of all that energy finally tore itself free from my grasp, setting off a chain reaction, and all I knew was pain.

Grace took to the air with a flap of his wings, and I barely dodged his downwards swipe. I pushed off the ground, and charged him, but he had the high ground and his longsword made it hard for me to do anything other than duck out of range when he used it.

Good. I didn’t want to kill him anyway. I changed direction, and charged the big machine that was the weather production system. One of my knives returned to its sheath as I reached for the packets of powder, and I barely came to a halt as Grace materialised out of the shadows in front of the machine. His sword swipe was just fast enough to stop me and force me to draw my knife again, but slow enough to not actually hurt me. His free claw turned into a fist, and almost caught my face before I dodged at the last second and had to back away again to get both my knives out.

I stared at him for a second, and he stared at me. “You learned how to use shadow magic?” I asked in shock.

After a moment, he gave a small smirk. “No. I started reading some of the old myths and legends about the bat ponies and their properties. You know, the ones you loved about Slight.”

After a moment I growled, and threw myself at him. He wasn’t trying to kill me, and thank fuck for that. He was better than I was. Not by a lot, but he was. He fought like Luna did, thinking his way around the problem and past his enemy’s guard. I just relied on my speed and strength and instincts to land a quick cut that’d win me the fight after a while. Problem with that was that he was faster. I only ever knew one pony that was faster than me, and one gryphon, but I had a new name to add to that list. Even though I had knives and he had a heavier longsword, he was still keeping up with me, and I thought he was holding himself back a bit.

My suspicion was proven right when his fist met my face, and I slammed into the ground with a grunt. He took a step or two back from me, and gave me the space to climb to my paws again. Or not. With speed to match Dash, he blitzed towards me again, and I barely avoided his kick, and even then I was forced to dodge and parry for all I was worth as he threw me off balance and a step behind with a perfect series of slashes using his talons and blade.

My back hit a wall, and if he was trying to kill me, he would’ve done it right then. Instead his pommel cracked my beak, and his knee rammed into my gut. Ignoring the pain, I dropped low and charged him for a straight up tackle. We crashed into the floor, but he rolled with the momentum and kicked me off him with his hind legs.

I scrambled to my feet and snatched up my knives, just in time too. His technique was completely fucking perfect. Whoever taught him was a bloody master, and I was pretty sure Grace was too. I found myself tiring as the fight wore on. Even though I didn’t take any more blows after that, I was still bruised and aching, and my breath was starting to catch in my throat. Only my reliance on instinct allowed me to capitalize on it when he overextended slightly, and I slipped past his guard long enough scratch his underarm. Normally that would’ve ended the fight, with an artery bleeding they’d wear down and I’d finish them quick, but hesitation stopped me from cutting those vital blood points, and in the end, the most damage I did was a surface scratch, and smashing the hilt of my knife against his skull.

We separated again, and he blinked in surprise as he stared at me. After a moment though, he returned to cool calculation, and a he smirked slightly. “It’s easier to kill, than take down safely isn’t it?”

I didn’t answer him for a moment as we circled each other again. I resisted the urge to glance at the big weather pumps, because that’d give him an opening. I needed to destroy those, and quick. Trixie didn’t have a lot of time. But... I couldn’t kill Grace. One of us had to take down the other non-lethally... and at this rate he was gonna do that before I did.

“Grace, don’t do this. Don’t make me do this.” I swallowed as I realised, if I didn’t move soon the rain would reach Trixie outside the city. “Just stop and fucking think!” I shouted.

“Gilda... You don’t need to do this.” Grace reasoned carefully. “It’s already too late, and your lover is-”

“SHUT UP!” I shrieked and charged again.

Tears blurred my vision, and if I stopped to wipe them away Grace would have me. My knives clashed with his long sword or caught with air as he nimbly ducked out of the way or parried. Apparently I overextended, because I tripped over his paw with the aid of his claw on my back.

I scrambled up as fast as I could, but I was on the defensive and he had the edge as he pressed me. I kept losing ground, and almost as soon as it started, it stopped with me disarmed and Grace forcing me into a choke hold. My face was rammed into the weather readouts and as my vision started to dim, I read the valve as its precipitation dial turned higher and higher. What number was it that the chemicals would spread beyond the inner city? Start to cross into the poorer districts and criminal sectors where Trixie probably was. I didn’t know, but the thought was enough to push me that much harder.

Grace’s face smashed into the dial as I broke his hold, and as we separated again I gasped in deep lungfuls of air. Panic made thinking hard, because all my mind was screaming at me was that I needed to destroy that machine. I needed to save Trixie.

“Stop it Grace!” I shrieked at him, my voice cracking. “You’re killing everyone! You’re killing Trixie!”

He leveled his sword at me again. “They’re already dead. For the good of the Kingdom, I will make this tragedy into something other than the deaths of thousands for the sake of some alicorn whore.”

“It’s too fucking late for that!” I shouted at him. “You’re just gonna wipe out the entire fucking Kingdom!”

He just shook his head in denial. “The King’s last orders-”

“Fuck the king!” I shouted and charged again.

We danced across the room, neither of us gaining the edge over the other as our blades met again and again and again. Every second of it, I was aware that seconds were ticking by and if I wasn’t fast then Trixie could die. The Kingdom could die. Everyone could die, dammit!

In the back of my mind, I felt the tempting call of Hate and Anger. Offering me the speed and the ability to zone into the fucking deadly mindset that I might be able to beat Grace in. It was right there, a resource waiting to be used. It’d be alright, wouldn’t it? I was doing it so save Trixie and she’d never know...

With a snarl, I slammed that mental door shut and tapped into my magic. The energy from the shadows streamed into me, and I found myself less tired. As I did it, I noticed similar streams of energy sliding into Grace from all corners of the room. That’s why he wasn’t tiring out!

With a growl of frustration at my own stupidity, I tried using my own shadows to trip him up, but in the precious milliseconds it took me to focus the shadows, he was inside my guard and I barely managed to escape with only a new bruise. I found myself using shadow magic just to increase my endurance.

Oh goddesses, this was taking too long. Way too long.

“Stop this Grace!” I begged. “Fucking stop!”

He didn’t answer, just kept fighting in silence.

Oh... please... fucking please, I needed to end this. I really needed to end this.

Feeling like fucking traitor, I surrendered to the call of Hate and Anger. Grace blinked in surprise as my attacks changed tempo, and he found himself reeling in reaction to the kick I landed on his gut.

How. Fucking. Dare he? HOW DARE HE! He wanted to hurt my Trixie? MY TRIXIE! Anger coursed through me, and I felt indestructible. It felt like a wildfire in my blood, burning away all my chaff and leaving me focused and directed.

He saw me coming at him, and the shock in his eyes was oh so fucking satisfying. He attempted to draw the shadows into him, to use his own body as a filter to direct and purify the energy into solid constructs that would halt or slow me, but my own grip on the shadows was stronger than his. The energy that was directed at him was drawn to me, and he only had a thin stream of left as I closed with him.

And the hate! Oh the fucking hate I felt as every part of me screamed in disgust and horror at myself for trying to kill my brother. I was trying to kill Grace. There was so much wrong with that, and that hate pressed me to hammer him relentlessly as I stared into his eyes and begged him to put me down. To hurt me and end me before I could end him.

My fist in his face shattered that hope, and tears of rage and sadness blurred my vision as I kicked the legs out from under him. He barely rolled away from my follow up, and only just made it up in time to block my next strike.

At that second, I knew the fight was over. In that split moment, I realized I had a choice. As he desperately drew the shadows in, planning to vanish into the dark and reappear away from me, I knew that this was it. The final step in this tango. Every millisecond was precious, every moment was enough to decide whether or not Trixie would live or die. There wasn’t any time left. I had to end it now, or risk losing Trixie. I could fumble it. Stop right here, and press on for the non-lethal takedown and lose Trixie. Or... I could end it now. This very second.

The shadows Grace was drawing in consumed him. His entire body faded to black and vanished, and I whirled around just as he reappeared. With one knife I knocked his sword away, and my other knife stabbed into his heart.

We stood like that for a second. Him staring at me in shock and betrayal, and I stared back at him with tears in mine. Hate and Anger roared, and the light faded from Grace’s eyes. The sword tumbled from his grip, and he fell.

I wish I could say I stopped then. That after killing my brother I gazed at myself in horror and disgust and pondered what the fuck I’d done.

But this wasn’t about me. This was about Trixie.

The zebra powders burned white hot, and nearly blinded me as the white hot fire burnt through the metal piping and raw weather magic was unleashed in the room. More pipes followed suit, and soon there wasn’t any tubing left without a gaping still-glowing hole in it. A glance at the read out told me that the pressure was gone from the system. The factory would produce no more weather, and the only rain would be the rain that had already fallen.

My talons started trembling as I flew out of the room. I couldn’t even see as I just flapped my wings, and left my brother’s corpse in my wake.

I needed to find Trixie. I needed to know she was fine and that I’d saved her. If not... if she was already dead and Grace had died for... no reason. None. If I’d killed Grace for... I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I didn’t know if I could live with myself now, but I knew if Trixie was dead, then I’d die. I’d take my life.

Trixie needed to be alive, and I prayed she could still love whatever was left of me. That when she saw the dead shell that I was, she wouldn’t know I was dead inside, with no chance for redemption or recovery and decide to take her own life.

I’d killed Grace. My brother. The best gryphon I knew.

He was dead. Because I killed him.

“May the goddesses damn me for eternity,” I choked out between gut wrenching sobs.

A second after that, they answered my prayers. A blinding white light flashed, and with sunspots in my eyes, I barely had time to see the billowing dusty shockwave that radiated from its source. Unable to see, I was tossed around like a ragdoll in a storm. More than once, a slab of something would slam into me from the side, sending pain through my body.

I was thrown I don’t know how far, but by the time I right myself in the air I was screaming in pain from a broken wing. Spiralling out of control, I flared my wings as far out as I could, and I slowed enough to slam into the ground hard enough to only break one of my arms and... I have no fucking clue how many ribs.

I lay there... sobbing from pain and sorrow for... I don’t know. What the fuck does time mean anyway? Eventually I opened my eyes and tried to stand up. Buildings were collapsed all around me and right beneath my battered body, the earth cracked open. I looked down, and realized I was standing at the edge of a massive crater. It was... huge. I felt dwarfed standing there. It was... goddesses damn me, it had to be as big as the upper-class end of Aviana.

Limping, I turned around, and behind me was destruction. Wave after wave of broken building and collapsed housing and buried corpses. A cub’s paw was sticking out of a pile of debris, and the only things left standing were the cloudhouses and weather factory of the sky district. Thousands of meters in the air above all the death down here.

Looking out across the wasteland though, all I could care about was one thing. Fuck the dead city, screw the dead cub, and I couldn’t give a shit about what had caused this.

“Trixie!” I shouted as loud as I could as I began to limp into the wasteland. “Trixie!” I called again, but my lungs were sore from all the dust I’d breathed in.

I was exhausted, bruised and battered and every part of me ached. I needed rest. I needed sleep and food and medicine. But fuck me. This isn’t about me.

I tried to ignore the pain, to shut it out and focus on the thing that mattered. But fuck me, I’m such a selfish bitch that I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t push it to some corner of my mind and spur myself on just that little bit faster.

“Trixie!” I shouted out again, looking for any sign of blue in this barren wasteland. Anything that proved she was still in this world.

I don’t know how long I walked for. I was in constant pain, exhausted to my core, and my muscles ached and screamed at me to stop. I ignored the whiney fuckers and kept going. It had to be weeks, no months, that I spent walking in pain and desperation, screaming for Trixie.

Some part of me complained that I was dying. That if I kept going I’d kill myself.

I shut that part of me up. A growing numbness spread from my insides to every part of me. It didn’t stop the pain. No the pain was still there. But every ounce of warmth I had was gone, and my body was collapsing on itself.

“Trixie...” I croaked desperately before my front leg gave way from under me. I hit the ground, and panted desperately. “Trixie...” I shouted one last time before I didn’t have the energy for that anymore. Not a muscle in my body was paying attention to me, and I could control anything as I did nothing but gasp in air. My body was shutting down as I slowly faded from consciousness. “Trixie...” I repeated as I stared at the soil.

A blue hoof touched the soil in front of my face, and I looked up again. It took me so much energy just to crane my neck and look up into the face of a blue pony... a unicorn...

“Trixie...” I repeated, before I gave out again and my head fell to the ground. “Trix...”

The world faded to black.

When I woke up, I was a little disappointed to learn I was waking up at all. Not just because of what I’d done, although that was the biggest part of it, but also because I was aching all over. Every part of me hurt, and my brain felt like it was caught under a wagon wheel. Every time I drew breath, there was a strained pain in my chest, and my muscles were all sore from fatigue and overwork.

“Uhhhuuuuur,” I groaned, any real words completely beyond me.

My eyes opened, and I realized I was indoors. I would’ve craned my neck, but I was too sore for even that. Just moving my eyes, I looked around and figured out I was in a bed, coated in bandages. Someone had found me apparently. Movement caught my attention, and I glanced across to see a gryphon soldier standing up from a table in the corner with a book on it.

I didn’t get a chance to look at him, because a moment later he left the tent and I was alone with a body that was doing its best to make me want to kill myself. Not that I didn’t already want to do that.

Normally I’d have taken the time to think about the soldier, and if that meant I was captured or something, but even though a part of me screamed to try and think things through I didn’t give a shit.

For me there were two places in the world, places where Trixie was, and places where Trixie wasn’t. Apparently this was the latter.

I tried to sit up, but my muscles gave out before I even lifted myself a millimeter. All I could do was sit there and try not to think... Which wasn’t actually that hard when I just focused on the pain.

“Gilda!” The greatest voice in the world sounded outside the tent, and a moment later, in burst the one face I wanted to see. And then she decided to do a flying tackle hug of doom.

“Fuuhhuck.” I groaned in pain. “Trix, stop.”

She immediately let go and hopped back, a guilty look on her face. “Sorry...”

Slowly though, I got over myself and I remembered the one important part of all of this. “Oh, you’re alive. Thank fuck you’re alive.” I gave a silent prayer of thanks to Celestia as I stared up at the roof of the tent.

“Y-Yeah.” She scooted back, as though she was hiding something. “We lost some gryphons in that explosion, but most of us got through fine...”

I didn’t care. At all. As long as Trixie was okay. “What was with that explosion?” I asked, my mind finally stirring from it miasma of pain and emotional baggage.

“That wasn’t you?” asked Trixie. “Then it must have been Luna...”

I snorted, but the suddenness of the action made wince in pain. “I stopped the rain, Trix. I broke the machine with the powders.” After another moment's pause, I added. “It’s done. I’m done. There’s no more. There can’t be any more...”

“W-What are you talking about?” her panicked words made me wince.

“In the cloud factory... I went there and there were monsters... and I killed them...” That didn’t matter, I was just stalling. “And I found Grace. In there, I found him...” I choked out a sob and tears formed in my eyes. “I killed him... I fucking killed him!”

“Gilda...” A pair of hooves wrapped around my neck. “I’m sure you had no choice.”

I swallowed. “He was my brother... My fucking twin brother, and he didn’t even want to kill me... he was just trying to delay me, hold me off until the rain started, and I...” I couldn’t finish that sentence. I just couldn’t say it again. “And the look he gave me at the end... He didn’t say anything but... I betrayed him. I took it too far, he wasn’t trying to kill me and every second mattered and all I could fucking think about was you and how you’d get caught in the rain and...” I trailed off into painful sobs that racked my aching chest. “I killed him. I killed Grace, goddesses fucking damn me!”

“Shh...” I felt her hooves run through my crown feathers. “Just let it all out. You saved hundreds you know. Maybe even thousands.”

“I don’t care!” I shrieked and gripped her tighter. It hurt so fucking much, but I needed to hold her right then. “I don’t give a fuck about them, they can burn!” I let go of her, because my arms simply wouldn't stay around her any longer. “He was my brother and I killed him and... I don’t know if I can keep going anymore... at all...”

“You save so many though. You saved me. What he was doing was wrong... evil. Would you want anyone to go through what you had to?” A tender nuzzle from her. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel bad about it, but it had to be done.”

A chuckle made its way out of my beak. “You can justify anything. It doesn’t mean shit that I killed my fucking brother as long as I can balance that out somehow...” I couldn’t keep the bitterness and sarcasm out of my voice. “How many could actually do that? How many could ignore everything they know is right and what they feel, and just kill someone that means that goddess damn much to them?”

“I’m not saying that at all!” She repositioned us so that we were lying down with my head on her shoulder. “What I am saying is that you saved a lot of gryphons. Without you, we would have been in a lot of trouble. Or are you saying you should have let us all become monsters?”

“Of course not,” I mumbled. “I’d die, but that isn’t saying much, whatever... I’d fucking do anything to keep you safe. But that’s the worst fucking part... That I could do it. That in the end, I had it in me to kill my brother when he wasn’t even trying to hurt me. I could fucking murder anyone... I always thought I had a limit, that at some point there’d be something I couldn’t bring myself to do... but no... I’m a complete monster. Just a fucking killer.”

“No you’re not!” Her hoof slammed into my chest. “You were protecting me weren’t you?”

I didn’t answer her, because she already knew it. Of course I was protecting her.

“Gilda, I... That is...” A bright red blush appeared on her cheeks and she looked away. “I’d do anything to protect you. Alright? Absolutely anything.” Her gaze caught mine and there was an intensity there that I hadn’t seen before.

I paused. “Why... what have you done?” My mind immediately went to the darkest place it could. “Where are we?”

“We’re safe,” she replied as she kissed the corner of my beak. “We’re safe. And you’re not deflecting that easily.”

“Who’s deflecting now? Where the fuck are we? Where did all this medical shit come from?”

“We’re outside Aviana with those we saved,” she replied. “Now, back to what we were originally talking about.”

I leaned back, feeling a little more relaxed but I still had the feeling in my gut there was something she wasn’t telling me.

“Of course I did it to protect you,” I said after a moment. “All I could think about was you and how if I didn’t stop him you’d die and... It wasn’t about me then. It didn’t matter what happened to me as long as you were safe.”

“Did it feel wrong at the time? You were given two evil choices, do you feel as though you made the wrong one?” One hoof was placed over my heart and she gave me a smile. “What does your heart say?”

“It says you’re putting too much weight on it.” I winced. “I’m really fucking sore.”

Trixie rolled her eyes at me. “Answer the question, then hit on me.”

“I don’t know Trix...” I answered after a moment. “I don’t know anymore... I’ve always been an emotional mess and... I couldn’t fucking tell you if I made the right call or not. I know I’d do it again, but... I have no idea... all I know is I killed him. It was my call and I killed him.”

“It’s fine, give it time, you’re probably in shock.” Once more with those light kisses. “For what little it’s worth, I think you did the right thing. It was wrong, but considering the alternatives?”

“Shock?” I repeated. “I think I was in shock when I was walking through Aviana on three broken legs and screaming your name till I collapsed from exhaustion. Now I think I’m thinking clearly.”

“Still shock. The doctor said you’d still be in shock.” Trixie held me close. “At least wait another night before starting to think about all this.”

“Doctor?” I repeated. “Where would you find a doctor? You dodged the question, Trix. What are you hiding?”

“Trixie is not hiding anything!”

I stared at her, trying to fight through the pain and emotional edge and figure out what the problem was. “Please, Trix. Don’t lie to me... whatever it is, I’m beyond caring. I mean, I wouldn’t give a fuck unless you sold yourself into slavery or something.” I fixed her with the most tired and hurt look I could. “Just tell me.”

It seemed to work for she sighed and snuggled into me. “You were pretty damn banged up when we found you. You’ve been out for almost a week.”

“A week?” I repeated. “Then... why are we still at Aviana? Shouldn’t the survivors have moved on, or the government from one of the other cities stepped in by now?” After a moment I added. “Fuck, the ponies in Equestria would’ve been able to get here in time.”

“The capital was destroyed, the government was destroyed. This is an emergency shelter the military set up while they look through the rubble of Aviana and... well... all the changelings are dead, but we’re still finding monsters. You were too injured to move safely and... yeah...”

I snorted and leaned back. “Why would they help us? We’re like... wanted fugitives. Even if they don’t have the time to arrest us, why would the patch me up?”

“Well...” Trixie examined her hoof. “It may have gotten around that a certain unicorn rescued a sizable chunk of the survivors and said unicorn may just be a very good actor...”

I nodded leaned back into the bed. “So why did you bother hiding that from me?” There was a pause as I ticked it over. “Unless you’re still not telling me everything...”

“The worst damages were to your wing...” she whispered, looking away.

I stared at her. “How bad is it? I mean... will I ever fly again?” I resisted the urge to stretch my wings and check them myself. If it was really badly damaged, I’d just make things worse.

“You’ll be able to fly eventually,” replied Trixie. “Though there was a period of time when the doc thought of amputating it...” She kissed me, forestalling anything I could have said. “Apparently your unique... condition also gives you better and faster healing.’”

I nodded and felt exhaustion starting to creep back over me. “So... there’s nothing wrong then?” I settled back against the pillow again, and had to fight the need to close my eyes. “Other than killing Graciano, there’s nothing wrong?”

“Y-Yeah.”

My eyes had been fluttering closed, but her sudden stutter caught my attention. I opened my eyes and looked at her. “There’s something wrong...” I said as I stared at her. “There’s still some more bad news, isn’t there?” A small smirk touched my beak. “What is it? Am I carrying Luna’s baby or something?”

“No, you’re carrying mine,” she replied.

“What?!” I sat bolt upright and winced at the sudden pain. “I mean... what?!”

Trixie merely rolled her eyes. “You are too gullible. We haven’t even had sex yet.”

I blinked at her slowly. “Oh... right.” I fell back against the pillow again and closed my eyes. Before I remembered something and looked back at Trixie. “You still haven’t told me the more bad news.”

“Because there isn’t any.”

“But...” Goddesses it was getting hard to think. “But...” The detail I was searching for finally came to me. “You stuttered. When I said nothing was wrong you stuttered. And you only do that when...” I was losing consciousness. The world was fading again. “Something’s wrong...”

“Trixie’s just tired. Now sleep, you silly gryphon.” A light kiss was placed on my forehead.

“But... but...” My eyes closed, and I couldn’t open them again. “... wrong...”

“Nothing’s wrong. Sleep well Gilda.”

Comments

[OrphiusOlyandra]

So here it is, the second to last chapter, all that's left is the epilogue. Like I've said in the past, I so stuffed up on Luna's character arc since I didn't foreshadow it enough and bleah. So much I could have done better, and this is what happens when you don't figure out character developments in advance, the one mistake I've never made until now. That teaches me. Also, I'm certain at least one person picked up on the Persona 4 reference in there considering how blatant it was, but I just feel as though NMM being Luna's shadow fit so well together, I couldn't help but play it up.

Um... I think the rest is for y1 to talk about. I dunno, busy with writing my next fic so see you all next week. Unless you decide to comment or something in which case it'll probably be earlier so yeah. I'll stop rambling now. Also, one of these days I'm gonna start a "What our editor Doom says" section in the A/N where I copy + paste one of his hilariously snarky comments. With permission of course

[Y1]

The last real chapter this week, there's just the prologue left.

The pace of this story is awful. Seriously, it's all over the place. The finale isn't even half as long as the White Peak chapters.

Anyway, this is the chapter where (no spoilers) Gilda's second 'big moment'. That was hard to write, I don't know how much of it Orphius saw me working on, but I re wrote every single paragraph and sentence at least once. By the time I made it to the end the first time I was happy with it, but it was still heaps slow writing it just for the one through.

I don't know what to actually say about the emotional stuff in this chapter. It's all there and I think it more or less works, but... I dunno. I think I'll just let it speak for itself and not really comment on how you were supposed to feel about it.

Anyway, I hope you people enjoyed this story while it lasted. Let us know how you feel about the end.

Anyway, that's about it for me this week.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

2258920
Yeah, I saw you rewriting it again and again and again and again. Speaking as someone who generally only write things once, the slow pace that resulted was kinda frustrating for me. Don't get me wrong, it was worth it, but dood, seriously? So sloooooooooow =dies=

[OrphiusOlyandra]

2258901
I'd have to redownload them since I edit on the word doc and stuff. But I already know the quote I'm gonna pick for next week. The two quotes actually.

[Carnifaxy]

I get the feeling that there IS something wrong and we just won't know it until next week. Yeah, the pacing was kinda screwy especially near the end, I thought that it'd take a little bit longer to settle with, still pretty good though.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

2259220
What's wrong is that y1 and I haven't strangled each other to death yet, that's what's wrong.
Oh yes, the ending arc was so wtf and fast it wasn't even funny. But then again, the ending arc had some of the longest chapters ever. Both 18 and 19 could have been split into two chapters probably.

[Carnifaxy]

2259237
Hah. Still, another chapter or two may have helped things out, but I'm satisfied with how it all turned out.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

2259272
Personally, I think it's passable, but not that great. We had so many pacing issues throughout the story it just isn't even mildly amusing. Then again, I've always loved break neck pace speeds so I suppose this works fits right in with my style.

[CommanderBigMac]

And everything goes BOOOOOOOOOOM!

[Carnifaxy]

2259305
I find the pacing acceptable because they were working on a time limit, but a bit expansion here and there would've helped.

[OrphiusOlyandra]

2259330 This is an adventure fic, something has to explode. It's a rule.
2259340 True, true. Regardless, it's something I'm keeping a close eye on for all my fics from now on.