The once formidable sirens, Aria Blaze, Sonata Dusk, and Adagio Dazzle, embark on a quest for redemption. Stripped of their powers and banished to the human world, they must navigate the complexities of everyday life while grappling with their own demons. As they venture forth to redeem themselves, they encounter unexpected challenges and forge unlikely friendships. Amidst the trials and tribulations, bonds are tested, secrets are revealed, and the true meaning of redemption is explored.
Chapters (2)
Good first chapter. It looks promising, even if very little seems to have happened in it.
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Thank you, I’m currently working on chapter 2 and I’ll try to make more stuff happen in that chapter
This is great! Really loving the setup. Looking forward to a lot more!
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Thank you so much! I have a lot of free time right now so I’ve been working a lot on chapter 2 and it should be out soon then.
Well then you've grabbed my interest instantly! You know me, I am a sucker for Dazzling's and I am glad to see them come to life in your writing style! This is brilliant! I can't wait to see more!
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I’m happy to hear that you like it so far!
Thank you!
How much violence and fighting is going to be in this story?
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I can’t guarantee exactly how much there will be, because I’m still just kind of like planning this out as I write it but I can guarantee there will be some fighting in the story. I hope this answers your question!
Constructive criticism:
As a narrator, you are allowed to refer to the protagonists of the movies in that way (even if it it sound jarring), but you need to tone down the use of this term. You use it too much. Worse
In this chapter you made the characters refer to them that way and that is a term that has never been used in canon.
Here are some suggestions to use in future chapters, and if you want to also change in this one:
The girls
Sunset and the rest of her friends (Here you can change Sunse's name when the focus belongs to someone else in the group)
Sunset and her group
The Rainbooms (this is their official name of as a band in canon)
Heck, I can see a scene where Aria calls them 'The Rainbooms' and Rainbow Dash, wanting to antagonize her by being pedantic, corrects her by telling her that their band's official name is 'The Sonic Rainbooms'.
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I also was thinking of referring to them as the Rainbooms but I also have Sci-fi Twilight in the story and she’s not apart of the Rainbooms so I was hesitant about calling them the Rainbooms in the story. Thank you for the other suggestions though of what else I could call them beside the Main 7, I will likely be using those in my future chapters! :)
Thank you for the suggestions! I see your point about the Main 7 thing, now that I realize it I did use it quite a lot
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I’ve also now fixed the problem in this chapter with the usage of calling them, the Main 7. If you have any other remarks about my writing I would actually appreciate hearing it so that I can improve my writing!
And possible romance 😏
Stuff like this is so simple, but really makes me happy.
Romance tag. Very interested.
Holy aggressive. Yep, I can see Dash acting like this.
You're not raising my hopes for nothing, are you?
Please! Please let this happen.
Turnabout is far play.
Adagio has always been my favorite Dazzling. You're making me like her even more.
Aj this not what one does for fun, lol.
Lmao, I don't know who's less personable, Aria or Dash.
Stuff like this is great because, yeah it sucks that she's so stubborn, but it also says a lot about how she feels about Adagio and Sonata. She must really like them if she considers them friends.
Really good chapter. I'm glad you decided to put some conflict as everything going great doesn't usually add up to an interesting story. Extremely excited for more.
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You bet 🤭
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Just you wait
Loved hearing what you thought about my story :) And don't worry, I'm not raising your hopes for nothing with the Adagio and Sunset stuff