Anon befriends the apple family while working on their farm. Applejack gets a little more than she bargained for.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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grown should be groan
Pretty strong opening. Hope this doesn't dissolve into sex too fast.
>still not Horsepitality
REEEEEE
So thanks for that.
That's gonna a very long & awkward presentation.
Hope he doesn't fall asleep halfway through.
11840820
Don't worry, I take my time with it.
11840851
Fixed. It's just the cover image anyway.
pre-read impression: good cover art and interesting description. will post a post-binge impression after i binge the two chapters out so far
11841199
post-binge impression: confuzed a little at the beginning as i feel there is other stories that take place before this one, but otherwise i quite enjoyed this fiction and it will be added to my follow list :D
Not sure I will read that, but still. Have an upvote for that amazing cover.
Yay! Another HiE story. Love 'em.
11840589
I've read the first two chapters and since you asked, here's my critique.
Anon's interactions with the Crusaders is adorable as hell. Love it.
The "togetherness" that the Apple family shows is on point.
Anon is using his hands in the best way possible on the farm. Is it cliché? Yes. Does it bother anyone? No.
What did bother me is...
In the first chapter, Anon is thinking to himself and is already using "anypony" instead of "anyone." And I found that to be weird.
At first, I thought Anon was an HiE with foreknowledge of Equestria. Why else would he think in that manner?
But he doesn't have foreknowledge... And I'm also confused at how easily he's ok with everything. I mean, colorful ponies, talking ponies, magic ponies, being ripped from your home, your reality. Never seeing a human again?
I understand that this is a HiE, so we skipped the "adjustment period." But without that being specifically stated in the story, I'm projecting my own head canon onto your story.
But that's about it.
Everything else is great. Big Mac is totally in character and bring portrayed perfectly. Applebloom, and Granny too.
Fucking, THANK YOU!! Good lord I hate how the vast majority of stories use heat as an excuse to make mares lust drunk and rapey.