Anon befriends the apple family while working on their farm. Applejack gets a little more than she bargained for.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Poor Anon….
Pony racism. ✔
I hope the racists ponies have their come-uppance.
Also, Petal Bow is a hero.
And damn. AJ has all sorts of emotions going on, and her cycle is probably making everything way more intense.
I'm surprised a slap to the face is all she's done.
I think the pony racism thing works well in the first or second season, but personally falls flat when Twilight is the full on Princess of Friendship. Feels like the town of ponyville would be more accepting of other races by this point, but hey, it's your story.
Other than that it's written well. Thanks for the update.
Why does almost everypony gotta be an asshole.
He's just trying to have a "normal" outing. Read every chapter and deeply enjoyed the progression.
I think you meant “The mare watches her go,”
But other than that really enjoyed the chapter can’t wait for more.
poor aj... just wanting to see the poor man happy
keep up the chapters!!!
I rarely comment on stories but yours definitely deserves one!
Not that I'm anybody special but I can humbly say that your story here is amazing! I have binged the chapters in the past two days and already it is among one of my favorite romance dramas I've read.
Firstly dialogue, the back and fourths between characters is easy to follow, fulfilling and most importantly organic. I can easily feel the emotion of the characters by just reading the lines, and it flows smoothly.
Secondly the description, it's usually hard for me personally to picture the environments while I'm reading but you have a very simple but detailed description of everything that it is very easy to picture the items, environments and actions without taking the reader out of the world with being too wordy or detailed.
Lastly Anon himself, now I'm he might be a self insert (which is perfectly fine) or meant to be the abused anon which I know is a cliche and a bit repetitive in HiE. Now I would be lying if I said that when anon started talking about his family earlier in the story with Mac I didn't roll my eyes. But you again did it perfectly, it is present but it doesn't dominate the story and doesn't feel really heavy handed! A lot of stories make the whole Anon character based around the trauma and it's always something ridiculous. But this Anons past is more realistic, something that unfortunately some people do go through, and it feels like he is trying to move on and leave it behind.
Ok I'm gonna stop here or I might rival you in word count, overall what I'm saying is you rock, keep going because this is a very promising story and I will be here for all updates.
P.S English is my second language so please excuse any Grammer issues
The problem with comparing a human to Tirek on principle is that between the cloven hooves, the horns, and the specific style of beard, Equestrian centaurs are based on satyrs. Even Tirek's lust for power isn't out of line for the idea of satyrs, since it is an insatiable lust that led him to his ruin at the end of the day. The point is, humans are decidedly not a physical match for Tirek's top half.
That's not even getting into the fact that with Tirek being the ponies' only known example of centaurs, even if humans were comparable enough to be mistaken for his ilk there would be no precedent on which to accuse a human of being capable of magically charming others. Tirek's only magical ability worthy of either note or caution was his ability to drain others. His own use of magic to attack was always that of a brute; sheer force. Even his magical hold could be seen as just a magical equivalent to him reaching out with a hand and grabbing you. He probably couldn't even magically grip anything capable of escaping his physical grip, shenanigans and ethereality notwithstanding. Never mind the fact that Ponyville's residents, except for the Mane 6, never saw Tirek.