Two orphans, growing up in one of the worst societies. The difference between them and others were quite big.
That, however, all changes when these two leave their home.
Permanently.
Though, having a harsher personality than the average pony, could result in a few very minor crimes.
Very minor.
Thankfully, getting an alicorn or two to pardon their crimes for a while is easy.
Page generated in 0.102 seconds
Total duration
953 users online
133,118 hits today, 2,591,549 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'd recommend at least using spellcheck, even if you don't have a beta reader.
Beyond that, a lot of this seems edgy for the sake of being edgy- and more importantly, without considering the implications of what is being written. The biggest example is the decision to make Bliss a filly- and then not doing anything with that in the narrative, instead having her act like some cynical adult, with the only impact her age has seeming to be for the purpose of making the story... Well, making it more edgy. Compare that to Cozy Glow in canon. Not only does she purposefully play up her young age, but when her mask slips, you can still see her expected level of immaturity. If you had others commenting on how extremely unusual Bliss was for a foal her age, I might be willing to give this the benefit of the doubt- but as it is, I'm not seeing anything remotely resembling that.
There are other examples I could analyze, but I don't want what's meant to be a short comment to turn into a rant, so I'll end it here.