Returning the Human
Bob and Luna sat in the ruins of The Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters for a good ten minutes. The human leaned on the princess, idly scratching the alicorn. Bob quickly sat up. It was nearly night when he left, and it was still dark. “Shit,” the human got to his feet, as did Luna in a heartbeat. “Twilight is probably stressing out about where I am!” Bob sighed. “But I really don’t wanna go back to her place yet.”
“If thou would desire, thou remain hither with me; I am nocturnal so I can keep watch. And if it helps, most creatures ‘i the Everfree Forest are frighted of alicorns, if what mine sister told me is true. Personally I haven’t e’en seen a manitcore.” The alicorn got laid back down. “I forsooth wouldn’t be crossed to spending moe time with mine new friend!” Luna raised a hoof in the air before promptly wrapping both of her forelegs around the human. Nothing stopped her from the incoming cheek nuzzles from the happy.
“I wouldn’t either, maybe we can go home and ask Twilight if I can have a sleepover or something. Because it’s going to get cold tonight, and I don’t have fur to keep me warm-“ Luna draped a wing over the human after he sat next to her. “That helps, but there is only so much of me that your wings can cover up,” Bob hugged Luna’s neck. “We should just go back anyways; I don’t want anyone, who’ll care, to worry about me.”
“Then hop on mine back,” Luna got to her hooves, taking Bob up with her.
“Okay,” the human did as asked. The human had to admit, riding a horse bareback as she tried to find a spot to take off, wasn’t the most fun experience. Luckily, Luna was trying to be gentle, so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been for Bob. “Say… what if-HOLY FUCKING SHIT!”
“Fornicating feces sounds as a horrible imagining!” Luna laughed as the human screamed and clung onto her for dear life… until she leveled out and wasn’t flying so fast. “Well, thou are not screaming anymore… that is a good thing right?”
“Holy shit…”
“What-“
“It’s a figure of speech… Sorry about cutting you off.”
“Nein, Never worry. I won’t bite thou for truly cutting me off. For what hath thou use that phrase?” The alicorn asked.
“I just… I’m just amazed. The night sky… the wind in my hair, the view of everything down below. This is what flying is like?” Bob asked.
“It is, I still take flights on mine own when I get stressed out while ruling mine kingdom… thou enjoy the night welken?” Luna asked, a smile etching more and more onto her face.
“It’s beautiful. I never got to see it often back on Earth, but when I did, it was always just… Sometimes it’s fun to just look at the stars, even if I can’t make or name any constellations, the night sky sure is beautiful.” Bob sighed. “Humans used to study the night sky, with dedicated buildings just to build big telescopes to see out into the vast expanse of space. Just…. We’ve seen so many planets, stars, galaxies light years away from Earth… Just the idea of what is out there is really cool to me.” Luna simply nodded, silently rejoicing at, while not a pony, somebody enjoying her night.
When the two touched down in Ponyville, the streets were empty, as most of the town had retired to restaurants, or to their homes. Most of Bob’s classmates, and their parents, were still off celebrating and had likely finished while Bob was still brooding. A rainbow line in the night sky quickly came to a halt. “What is that? Doth rainbows simply appear at night now?” Luna tilted her head as the rainbow came right for them. Bob knew who it was, having seen the signature that he dubbed ‘Rainbow’s Tail’, a name that Rainbow Dash was all too happy to accept. To Luna, however, all she saw was a beam of something unknown, but rainbow colored flying towards them.
“GET DOWN, BOB! WE ARE BEING-” Luna pounced on her newly claimed human before quickly bringing up a shield spell… only for the Rainbow’s Tail to stop as soon as it reached the ground. The pegasus the trail was named after, expertly landed on her hooves and skidded to a stop just before Luna and Bob. “What the hay…? We wot our sister hath told us about the Wonderbolts, yet it still shocks us to find such a fast flier…” she whispered.
“Bob! What the buck were you thinking? You had us all worried sick! Twilight’s in her library, stressing out, thinking that you got killed in the… Everfree Forest.” Rainbow cocked her head. “Who the heck is this?” The pegasus asked, pointing a hoof at Luna.
“It appears that thou hath forgotten us. Thou, along with the rest of the Elements of Harmony saved us from the Nightmare’s call. Thou must be Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty, correct?”
“Uh… yeah. So you’re Celestia’s sister? You were a lot smaller when we last saw you.”
“We haven’t made a public appearance since thou hath last seen us. We were in our old castle when Bob stumbled upon us. He had told us his woes, and we holp to ale ‘em. I say we would do a good-”
“Hey Luna, I’m glad that you care enough about me to immediately try and protect me from a perceived threat…” Bob’s voice was muffled. “And I love cuddling with you, because you’re very soft and fluffy, but can you please remove my face from your chest? And get your butt off my stomach? You’re kinda sitting on something important; I personally enjoy having my stomach not be sat on by a horse that’s as tall as me,” Bob stuck his hand out. “Don’t make me tickle you in public; I’ve learnt where you ponies are usually ticklish from my time with Twilight.”
Luna quickly let out a princess-like ‘EEP!’ And quickly scrambled off of Bob… She didn’t notice that her hing legs had… been forcefully shoved into the human’s stomach until he groaned. Rainbow Dash looked ready to burst out laughing, while Bob laid on the ground, clutching his stomach and groaning.
“Fuck…” Bob wheezed. “You hit fucking hard!” He coughed. “Christ… Luna, if we’re gonna be friends and you wanna lay in my lap, cool, but please don’t kick me in the stomach again! I need that!” The human was clearly trying to make a joke despite his obviously being in pain. “Least you didn’t kick my balls, now that… would suck.” Bob slowly sat up, he rubbed his stomach again, before grabbing both of Luna’s cheeks while she was constantly apologizing and fearing that she just killed her human.
“I’m fine, Luna, really…” Bob slowly brought his hands around Luna’s neck, and then under her armpits, or the horse equivalent, before pulling her onto his lap. “It hurts, and I’m gonna be bruised for a while, but I’ll be fine. Don’t beat yourself up for that; my dog used to step on my balls all the time and I still loved my dog.” Bob slowly started rubbing Luna’s back while she was still saying sorry into his chest. “You’re adorable, you know that?” That broke Luna, as she pulled back slightly.
“I am a Princess, Bob! I do not look cute!”
“When your ears are flat against your head like they are right now, it is adorable. Ponies are cute, even if most of them are racist as fuck, and you are a pony.” Bob booped Luna on the nose and giggled when the Princess went cross eyed… Only to yelp when Luna licked his eyeball.
“That will teach you to call me cute…” She got close to his ear. “Thank you for calling me cute. I love you.” She nuzzled him before hopping out of his lap, and lifted Bob onto her back. “Join, I shall return thou to Twilight Sparkle. While I doth would to keep thou, I would wany thy permission first; thou are a smart, sentient being after all.” Luna happily pranced along, leaving a shocked Rainbow Dash.
Nopony in the history of Equestria would dare do such a thing to a Princess, which not only calls her cute, but boops her on the nose as well! To top it off, it was with Luna, who is way scarier than Celestia. Especially since nopony is fully sure if Luna is… Well, Luna, or still Nightmare Moon.
And Bob was being nice to a pony he had just met.
Once the human and royal pony duo had made it to Golden Oaks Library, the lights were still on… “Odd, ‘tis almost midnight, and yet Twilight Sparkle is still awake? I wot mine sister gushes over her student, yet that student’s sleeping habits leave a lot to be desired.” Luna shook her head as Bob slid off of his new friend’s back and had promptly knocked on the door.
“Twilight, are you home? It’s Bob-”
The door slammed back and there was a very… worn out Twilight. Her eyes were red, her mane was a mess, and it looked like she was having a panic attack. “Bob! Why did you bucking walk into the Everfree Forest!” She hadn’t even noticed Luna, who was now sitting on her haunches and was watching Twilight knock Bob onto his ass and hug him. She started crying into the human’s stomach as well.
“You remember what happened at the play?” Twilight nodded.
“Okay.. I know that you were mad, rightfully so, but that’s no reason for you to get yourself killed!”
“It’s… been a build up,” Bob admitted. “I’m a bit tired of… everything.”
“...What?” Twilight looked up at him through some tearful eyes. “You’re one of my best friends, Bob, you can tell me anything!”
“...Remember how you used to call me barbaric?” Twilight nodded. “I wasn’t very… appreciative of that.” The unicorn’s mouth opened wide. “Don’t worry about it though; I know out of everybody in Equestria, you’ve been treating me the best…” Bob pointed at Luna, who was now resting her head on his shoulder. “And then Princess Luna showed up and licked me in the eye because I think she’s cute.”
Only then did Twilight notice the lunar Princess. “Princess Luna! What are you doing in Ponyville? Nightmare Night isn’t until this Saturday!”
“We were at our corky home, Twilight Sparkle. We found Bob, he was enchafed, so we had him say to us what was troubling him so. Then he scratched our ears, so I declared him our meetest friend. Bob needs a friend as much as we doth, and we are glad to declare him as such. Truly, it troubles me that he hath a 'criminal record' for trying to keep himself alive. We shall remove it after yelling at our sister. Along with free Bob of thy punishment our sister put on him.”
“So… Bob won’t have to stay in Ponyville?” Twilight asked.
“If Bob doth not summon to remain ‘i Ponyville, then he leave he pleases.”
“I wouldn’t mind staying in Ponyville if I didn’t have to, but… let’s be real, Twilight, you, a kid from my class, and that kid’s mother are the only people in this town that don’t hate me. Your friends treat me well enough, but everyone else treats me like shit, or barely tolerates me. I’m scared of going anywhere else; I won’t be treated any better out in the world, so I might not have a choice to remain in Ponyville. Because if I go anywhere else, I’ll probably get chased out of town and I’ll go right back to where I was a year ago.” Bob lifted Twilight up. “So can we keep Luna here for the night? She did kinda… get me out of a funk.”
“A sleepover… with a Princess?” Twilight asked.
The Princess in question tilted her head. “What is a sleepover?”
“You sleep at my place, which happens to be Twilight’s home, but before we sleep we happily do a bunch of fun stuff together… Twilight, your face tells me you have a book for the ‘perfect’ sleepover, don’t you?”
“...No…” She nuzzled Bob’s cheek, and Luna’s wings ruffled at the sight. “Yeah, I do. Come on! Last time I used the book with Apple Jack and Rarity, it went well… until a tree crashed into my room.” Bob tilted his head, now knowing of a story he’s going to ask the unicorn about. The unicorn got out of his lap before prancing inside. “Come on! We’re already late, and the guide says we should’ve started two hours ago.” She stopped. “And Bob, there’s somepony inside that would like to speak with you.”
Bob and Luna looked each other in the eyes, before shrugging. “Well, let’s not keep Twilight waiting,” Bob hopped on his feet before, with a great deal of effort, lifted Luna up and held her like she was a big dog.
“What the buck, Bob!” Luna shouted, surprised at the human suddenly lifting her up. Granted, she made no attempt to get free. Instead, she wrapped her hooves and wings around the human to hold onto him better.
“Okay, I admit, this is a bad idea. I’m not very strong,” Bob grunted as he walked inside, Princess in tow. “I’m a thinker, not a bodybuilder, and while you’re not fat, you’re still a horse. Horses in my world are usually pretty heavy.” He grunted again. Once he was inside he got to his knees and let Luna go. The Princess gracefully got back on her hooves. The human stood up again and popped his knees, and rolled his shoulders for them to crack. “Ow… Maybe I should work out and hold you while doing squats?”
“I will lick you in the eye again,” Luna threatened. “Thou are thrifty that I liked being carried, as monetary as thou didst it.”
“...Nevermind. No using the Princess as workout equipment.” Bob dusted himself off before looking up at the dinner table that was probably just set up. Sitting at the table was none other than his teacher, Ms. Cheerilee. She looked even worse than Twilight. “Why the actual fuck are you here?”
“I wanted to say sorry,” Bob’s teacher looked down at the desk. “I piled so much on you, singing, writing a song, singing another song that I gave you last minute, and having you play a bunch of sheet music you were also given last minute. What do I do, the very moment it came to listing off all of my students, who contributed and worked hard to make the play? I couldn’t even be bothered to say your name, because I thought you said you didn’t want anyone to know you were a part of the play!”
“I didn’t want to be on stage, but I would’ve liked to be acknowledged for working my ass off. How many instruments did I have to play?”
“Three.” Cheerilee said plainly. “And you played them all well enough, better than what I would’ve expected when you said you could play three instruments. Most foals, and ponies, if they pick up an instrument only play one instrument and master it throughout their life. If they pick an instrument up at all!”
“And that didn’t matter because I am human,” Bob crossed his arms. “Now, get to the point. Either say your half assed, half felt apology, or get the fuck out.” Luna sat silently, waiting to see if she would need to get involved.
“I wanted you to keep coming to school; I know you said you would drop out, but with somepony as smart as you, it would be a waste!”
“Ms. Cheerilee, buddy, let me let you in on a secret about humans…” Bob was now at the table, having wrapped an arm around the cherry colored earth pony. “Humans come from another world, we come in all shapes, sizes and have hundreds of different countries. I’m from a country that not only has free education, but has three stages of education with an optional fourth one. I was in my third stage of education, and your school is about the equivalent of the first layer. What you are teaching, I learnt in the second grade when I was seven. I’m sixteen now if my estimate of time without a calendar is accurate.
“Needless to say, I don’t need to go to your school, as it was mostly a chance to get me to be more social. And while kids don’t hate me, they also don’t love me either. I’ve got four friends, basically, and three of them I knew far, far before I enrolled in your school. And I can visit that fourth one outside of school. So… I’m not going to school, especially if I do not have to.”
“But… don’t you have to repay the food and the ponies you’ve hurt?”
“Food I wasn’t given because I’m a freak in ponies’ eyes, and the ponies I’ve hurt because they would hit me with magic, shoot at me with crossbows, or try to pummel me because I needed food they wouldn’t give me, so I had to steal it? I feel bad about hurting those ponies, but if they’re trying to get me killed, then I’m going to fight back.”
Luna coughed and made her presence known to the school teacher. “And, just to please our subjects, our sister had punished Bob with community office. If it were not for his age, he would’ve been executed. If Bob wasn’t so compliant, he would’ve been executed. Bob is a child, and our subjects denied him of food. ‘Tis a shame, our sister and I built this nation on love and equality, and e’ven fought for such. And now ponies are frighted of aught not a a pony and shun somepony who divers.” The Princess soon sat at the table and Bob was quick to move, just leaning onto her shoulder.
“We quite like Bob, and we shour doth our meetest to doff the punishment and criminal record that proceeds Bob’s name. E’en our sister receives that Bob doens’t need punishment, and I shall yell upon’r for punishing Bob to begin with. He was a child, struggling in the wild to live, yet still punished him to please our little ponies.” Luna nuzzled the human. “I will clear thy name when I return to Canterlot, Bob. You will be a free human when we are done. Tonight, however, allow us to have some fun.” Luna then turned to the teacher. “Leave us, thou are souring our human’s humour.”
With that, Twilight came down with a book titled Slumer 101: All You Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid to Ask.
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He just wanted food, and they're willing to frickin try to kill/murder him!?
It's official, they're all literal psychopaths and heartless monsters!!!!!! Bob shouldn't forgive, or call them all out on it.
They should be the ones to be f**cking arrested and be punished instead!!!!!!! Maybe even threaten them with life in prison, or the death sentence to have a taste of their own medicine.
I don't get on how stealing a couple of food ( Just to survive), or self-defending yourself from ponies being racist jerks that tried to kill/murder him, end up with the poor kid to ALMOST have the hanging noose!!??
I mean, a total unreformed villains like Tirek has done a WHOLE lot worse, but he is in imprison in Tartarus for thousands of years, and not executed!?
And don't get me started with the likes of the Real Grogar, Chrysalis, and Sombra.
Another thing that is more f**ked up, is that Celestia and the courts has the audacity to give the option of the execution/death sentence to poor Bob?
BUT Cozy Glow, despite being a pony "child; Is a total villainous brat that did a WHOLE LOT WORSE to Ponykind than what Bob ever did.
And she is the one that got imprisoned in Tartarus, and then got turn to stone?
Author, this makes no sense to make Celestia this monstrous OOC!!!?? Unless, she is Daybreaker in disguise?
P.S. Luna should do an extra mile and find all those racist ponies and have them all be arrested and tried for their sins against Bob!!!! That's TRUE Justice!
P.S.S. And Luna should also call out Celestia as being no better than the likes of the Real Gorgar, Chrysalis ( IF they know Changelings in the past ), Sombra, and Tirek combined!!!!
( Discord is excluded because I don't think he is willing to kill with his chaotic/reality breaking powers, and I personally think that even he will be disgusted with what Celestia was doing. )
P.S.S.S. I almost forgot that in last chapter, poor Bob was even thinking of suicide of all things because of his terrible mistreatment!?
Okay arthur, did you read the stories of "Jason Wright" or something!?
I almost thought that you're going to add suicide/self-harm tag in this messed up story?
Okay, maybe have Bob confessed to the mane six and those racist jerks that he almost intended to kill himself.
Let's see how they will all react to that information, that they're ALMOST responsible for having an innocent sentient person kill himself! I hope they have horrible Nightmares/PTSD learning this.
And he will also say that IF his own parents/family or even the law enforcement/military/government on Earth, somehow hears and learns about all this, the ponies are all frickin dead with a potential war of two worlds!!!!!
Luna got the right idea. Considering if ponies hadn't been trying to kill him for being different or because they listened to rumors he would have done his best to earn money and or food. Him being punished for defending himself is not fair and Celestia should have told the ponies the truth. Does she treat ambassadors like they are monsters?
11753334
IF that's the case. Then, Equestia wouldn't have allies with other kingdoms in the first place, or even be constantly at WARS, just because the ponies are racist/xenophobic pricks.
11753337
Well considering what Celestia is doing is pretty unfair so the only way they can stay on the good side of ambassadors would be to kiss up to them when they are around because plainly ponies don't often like non ponies.
11753341
Well, what happens if they find out the truth that the ponies were pretending to tolerate or like them, or learn the mistreatment of Bob the other worlder/human?
Sure, he isn't any of their species. But the fact that he's so mistreated cuz he is a Non-Pony, should show some very huge concern.
I actually hope this does happen, because I want this to have huge everlasting consequences once and for all.
11753372
Yeah and the fact that Celestia had punished him for defending himself doesn't make her look good. While her sister is enough of unknown that others are still trying to get an idea on what they think about. Politics are a chess game plus a nightmare combined. And miss cheerilee apology skills need work. What happened to I messed up. I did something wrong. Her apology sounded more like she was more interested in the fact as the brightest kid in class it makes her look good.
11753332
i have a short chapter coming out with the Sisters having a chat. some of celestia’s actions will be explained in it.
Honestly I would like to see a chapter from Lunas pov seeing her chew her sister out from Bobs treatment
Fuck yeah, finally give her hell Luna
11753332
Okay, you've said a lot there, bud. Don't get your hackles in a bunch, okay? It's just a story. But, to tell the truth here, what I have been reading regarding ponies reminds me of an old adage about Humans: "Shoot first, then ask questions". If some aliens descended on Earth, would we welcome them with open arms? Hm? More likely, we'd shoot them down first, then ask questions.
11756979
Agree with our whole heart there, bud.
:(
11803749
Nvm it ended up cute :3