Man in a Pony’s World

by Nugget27

A Message From Best Princess

Dear Bob,

I know that you are getting this a week after Hearts and Hooves day, but I figured this would be appropriate for you since I’ve not been able to sit down and write a letter for you the week before this. I would… I would like to thank you. The concert was an excellent idea for changing my image, as ponies no longer run away when I make a public appearance or tolerate me when Celestia is present. Now they ask for an autograph! While my sister and I are a special case for alicorns, with our life spans being tied to the Sun and Moon, I long for the day you are at least twenty years old.

While you have definitely seen more than any child your age should ever see, it would still be odd if I, at three thousand, two hundred, and eighty seven years, started dating somepony that is only just becoming seventeen, wouldn’t it? But once you are at least twenty, do consider sending me a letter; if you are already dating somepony, perhaps we can start a herd. Either myself and Tia can have up to sixteen consorts!

Sorry for getting off topic, I want to tell you what I did on Hearts and Hooves Day!

So, as you know, Chrysalis and I are… dating, I suppose. It is a bit scary, since Chrysalis is clearly a bit psychotic and threatened to drag me through town if I fell asleep while cuddling with her. I only hope that there is actually something redeemable about Chrysalis personality-wise. Clearly she does if you are apparently good friends with her, right?

Anyways, Chrysalis figured she would show up at my bedchambers in the middle of the day, when I am trying to sleep… just to cuddle with me. She laid her head on my neck, and that’s how I found her at nightfall. To say that Chrysalis doesn’t at least look adorable while snoozing away like that is… an understatement. In fact, she’s so bucking cute! She snores like a little puppy, which is absolutely adorable! When I commented on that, she snorted and growled at the notion, but didn’t argue with being called adorable, luckily.

However, if you call me cute, Bob, I will like your eye again.

The two of us mostly spent the night, while I did my duties, chatting away. On occasion, my… marefriend, I suppose, did actually lend a hoof and we got a significant amount of paperwork done. Since Celestia is getting back into trusting me with more and more of my old duties, I have been getting more paperwork, which does make it hard to find time to write to you. However, this is quite nice; as I said, I am a ruler first, a musician second after all. I quite enjoy the calm and quiet of just reading boring, absolutely dreadful bills with little to no sustenance.

It sounds like I am a psychopath, and I probably am, but I usually take care of my subjects’ nightmares. Sometimes I do peek in on what you’re dreaming about, by the way. You dream of sharks eating hayburgers for some reason. But nightmares… aren’t exactly a relaxing duty of mine, so if I can do some boring paperwork to calm myself down after doing nightmares, I will.

Chrysalis was incredibly insightful on bills, and while she couldn’t sign on anything, did provide good arguments for why something should be signed. A lot of which had to do with changelings, but given who I am dating, it does make sense.

Anywho, after the two of us got some paperwork done, I decided to take care of some nightmares, because I really do enjoy helping foals with their nightmares… Sadly, when I awoke from my slumber, Chrysalis was dragging me, with my head on the ground, through the palace and through Canterlot until we reached a field. It was quite an unpleasant experience and I almost shouted in my Royal Voice for it. Chrysalis… didn’t seem to care about the fact that she was dragging me through town. She could’ve properly laid me on her back, or carried me with her magic, but no, she had to drag me on my face on cobblestone roads!

She at least made up for it by making sure there was a picnic set up, for just the two of us… she got me night lilies, and I would’ve been ecstatic if I were a filly, with them being associated with the night… but I am allergic. What’s worse, is that Chrysalis doesn’t react, other than giving me a box of tissues. I swear this mare is going to ‘piss me off’. I believe I used your weird human phrase correctly there. Do correct me if I didn’t.

So that was how my Hearts and Hooves Day went. It was literally just my duties, a shitty little picnic, and me sneezing my lungs out because Chrysalis couldn’t be bothered to at least cast a spell to ale my allergies. I wish I just went to Ponyville and spent the day with you; you are my favorite human and you’d treat me right. Oh… a belly rub from you would be lovely right now because I am so bucking pissed. Chrysalis can sense emotions, and yet she just assumes my emotions are due to my nervousness of dating a ‘creature as fine as her’ or whatever.

I hope you’ve had better luck; I received word from my sister, who got word from her student that Rainbow Dash is developing some feelings for you.

I am not opposed to forming a herd with you two when you are of age, Bob.

I love you,

Love Luna.

P.S do not fall asleep around Chrysalis, you are far more fragile than I, and I believe she would end up accidentally peeling your face off while dragging you through town.

Comments

[FoxyLove]

Chryssy will always Chryssy. That is all!!!

[Theresa hall]

11797034
Yeah but at least love makes her a little nicer than she would be without it. Though I wonder how exactly after letting those ponies who attack Bob off the hook for so long is Celestia going to be able to punish them. Though I glad that she is finally planning to. Considering that is long overdue. It was wrong to punish him for trying to survive when they started every fight.

[6mike161]

11797034
Wait wait wait, Luna said their lifespans are tied to their celestial bodies and we know stars live for billions of years so is that when their lives will end?

[Cafffinator]

You dream of sharks eating hayburgers for some reason.

Do I detect an H20 Delirious fan?

[BottleH2O]

11797403
Lmao I caught that too. Absolute W if that's the reference being made

[Nugget27]

11797500
in news of a member from said group retiring, i felt a little nod was appropriate

[BottleH2O]

11797698
Nice nod to put in. Brock held his final livestream today too playing Mario Kart with Brian. Lmao hes gonna rage and want to leave more after Brian keeps throwing red shells at him

[GlitchyFox]

11797206
my guess is that its a thing where they can be killed but its difficalt and if luna and celestia do escape the soler system before the sun and moon die then then it will be a case of they will being ageing insted of being at their peak