Man in a Pony’s World

by Nugget27

Trials and Magical Cures

The trial for Bolt Strike was happening this morning. Bob was dressed up, as best as one can with a cast and bandages wrapped around his head. So Bob was wearing a fedora, that was just in the closet because this was typically the room the human was given whenever he was visiting Canterlot. The fedora was to cover his head, and he was given a trench coat that wasn’t too dissimilar to one a detective would wear. Surprisingly, everypony was dressed up for the trial.

Namely Zippy and the rest of her family. Seeing as the crimes committed were against them and Bob, everypony else would simply be serving as the jury, even if the jury really served no purpose in Equestrian court… when Princess Celestia or Princess Luna was involved. With both Princesses being fully trained judges, high judges at that, they could supersede anything that the jury says. The jury is mostly there to make sure neither Princess oversteps, no matter how unlikely that may be. Since it was during the morning, Luna would mainly serve as a witness to the most recent crime.

Though, with the entire jury knew about what the plantiff did to the defendant, they probably wouldn't care about what happened during the trial as long as Bolt Strike gets punished. The entire jury was the Element Bearers.

While domestic violence, and by extension, child abuse were hard to prove in a court of law with the lack of security cameras, assault against a minor was the only law that could could easily nail Bolt Strike in the dungeons… if he were going there at all. Though the accusations of more domestic crimes would pile onto the stallion, and he would be given the option to plea innocent of those crimes... while being watched under several lying spells and the living lie detector that is Apple Jack.

Chrysalis would be serving as a co-judge during the trial just to skip over the process of trialing somebody that she was just going to drag off and torture as soon as it was her turn to ‘trial’ the stallion.

“Come on Bob, you can ride on my back, I won’t mind,” Rainbow Dash said. “Sure, it would be a bit weird, but Princess Celestia and Luna carry you all the time!”

“But… they’re tall enough to not drag my feet on the ground.”

“And I want to carry you! You’re injured anyways, so as the mare of our relationship, I say you let me carry you!”

“Just do what she says,” Zippy said her dam helped make any final touches to her dress. “I would be carrying you as well if you wouldn’t accidentally ruin my dress. Even then, the only thing stopping me from carrying you is the fact that I'm too short.”

“...It won’t be weird to either of you two if you carry me in the future? I let Luna carry me because I can’t say no to her puppy eyes, which she will give me if I try to decline riding on her back. Celestia just radiates that ‘cool parent’, after we worked out the nothing between us. vibe so I let her carry me too... She also gets this sad look if I decline, which ends up with me climbing on her back anyways. You, Rainbow, are my equal if we’re going to be dating. Same with you Zippy. It'll just feel weird.”

“How about this,” Carte began. “You can easily carry Rainbow Dash or my daughter when you’re fully healed, correct?”

“I could easily carry your daughter, Rainbow would be a bit harder since most of her weight comes from her muscles, but I could carry her. She’s about as heavy as my dog woulda been if he ever fully grew; I can carry a big dog for some amount of time.”

“Why not take turns? A mare loves taking care of her stallion, and as her poor, injured stallion, you let Ms. Dash carry you?” Carte suggests. "You already pet them, and they don't mind. Let them spoil you too, dear."

“Yeah Bob! It’s my turn because you carried me to Twilight’s home on Hearts and Hooves Day!” Rainbow gently headbutted her coltfriend's shoulder.

Bob raised his good arm in a feeble attempt of defending himself from the vicious mare's attack. “I didn’t wanna leave you alone in a park while you were unconscious! I may not know how often it occurs in Equestria, but on Earth, if a girl is left unconscious at a park, you can assume she’s gonna get kidnapped. I woulda felt like an asshat if I left you hanging!”

“And that,” Rainbow Dash nuzzled Bob. “Is exactly why I like you.” The human titled his head, which reminded the pegasus of a confused dog for some reason. “Fluttershy always brought up how you drop everything when she stops by to hangout with you. Rarity too. You may not show it all the time, probably because we all don’t get to hang out with you as much as we should, but you do cherish me and the rest of my friends, dontcha?”

“Rarity… was probably the first pony that I woulda been fine with calling a sister, Rainbow Dash. Made sure I had clothes on my back, was always super nice to me, almost too polite. And during Winter Wrap Up, I got on my nerves like any big sister probably would. Fluttershy’s the reason I didn’t starve to death, because she discerned my diet pretty quickly and told Twilight what I could eat, and what could help satiate my need for protein…” Carte eyed Bob for a moment. “Mrs. Carte, I’m an omnivore. I can eat meat, usually I would prefer it, but I don’t need it to survive. And no I won’t eat your daughter… unless she wants me to.” Carte giggled at that, understanding what he meant.

“Bob! Don’t joke about that in front of my dam!” Zippy headbutted the human’s chest, and the human visibly shuttered and cringed over while holding his gut. “Ah buck! I forgot! I didn’t break anything, did I?”

“No, you hit my stomach,” Bob groaned. “Fucking christ, you hit harder than Fluttershy does, and she knocked the wind out of me when she did that the first time.”

“Fluttershy, hitting anyone? That doesn’t sound right,” Zippy said. “She’s the quiet one of the Element Bearers, so everypony just assumes she wouldn’t hurt a fly… others just kinda forget she’s the Bearer of the Element of Kindness.”

Bob laughed. “HAH! No, she could kick my ass, and probably even kick Rainbow’s ass if you somehow convinced her that Rainbow needed an ass whoopin'. Didn’t she literally stare a dragon in the eye once and scared the shit out of it?” The human turned to the cyan pegasus.

“She did. It was so awesome!” Rainbow squealed. "I never seen Fluttershy get so angry!"

“...Sweet Celestia, that mare has guts,” Fritters said, her eyes widened. "I couldn't imagine facing down a dragon." Zippy's damn stepped back from her daughter, giving the filly a once-over, and looking herself over in a mirror to make sure nothing is wrong with their dresses. Meanwhile, Rainbow might, or might not have been taking glances at both of her special someponies while they were dressed up. While she wouldn't try anything with them until they were both comfortable, she wanted nothing more than to see what was under Bob's suit, and have Zippy join them in a very aggressive snuggle session.

Bob checked over his suit, before nodding. “Aight, I’m ready to go. How about you ladies?”

“I’m ready!” Zippy said, trotting and doing a little twirl in her dress. “How do I look?” The filly asks. Bob looked her up and down. Zippy was wearing a simple, white dress that worked really well with her coat and mane. While it wasn’t anything extravagant, it was just for court, not the Great Galloping Gala, but it was pretty. “Well?”

Bob knelt down and cusped the filly’s jaw in his hand. “Absolutely perfect, Zips. If we were going to the Gala, I’d have to probably give the stink eye to anybody that tried taking my filly away from me… And I’ll already have to chase stallions away from Rainbow if we ever go. I hope we don't; that sounds like it would be a really busy night if for me if we did."

“I wouldn’t want to go; the party’s too stuffy for my tastes,” Rainbow scoffs, before her facial expression lightens. “Though, I wouldn’t mind going with you and Zippy. I’ll have to chase stallions and mares from Zips if she dresses like that, though.” Now the filly was blushing and hiding her face under her mane.

“I’ll get us tickets; Luna might be willing to spot me three tickets, but if she isn’t, I’ll just buy a few.”

The trio went and met up with the rest of Zippy’s family, who all were dressed in similar dresses to Zippy, even if a nearly pure white dress didn’t fit everypony. That didn’t really matter to any of them though, so they all got escorted to the throne room. Everything within was rearranged to more fit a typical courtroom, which only ever happens if a case reaches the crown, instead of it being a petition from anypony attending day court. Princess Celestia and Queen Chrysalis were sitting side by side on the throne.

Bob had to stifle a giggle. Both ladies were huge, and could barely fit on the throne. Their haunches were touching, even if Celestia flinched just a little at the contact every time… It looked like they were about to accidentally push each other off the throne. WIth how they both looked, they already made up their minds on Bolt's fate, and weren't going to take the trial very seriously. While Celestia and Chrysalis have gotten more friendly as time has gone by, but they weren’t ‘best friends’, hence Celestia constantly flinching upon slight contact. Again, it’s hard to break the habits of an old dog. Surprisingly, Luna isn’t present at all. Bob hums… she must be sleeping. Sitting across the aisle from him, was Zippy’s Dad and another stallion that was probably his attorney.

Zippy and her family were all sitting behind Bob, because all their accusations were going to be piled upon their soon to be ex-father-husband. The Element Bearers were all sitting in the jury benches.

While Bob felt he wouldn’t need a lawyer, with Celestia probably saying Bolt Strike is guilty as soon as the trial properly starts. He was just waiting for the Princess, and then the Queen to actually start the trial. Though… something was wrong. Celestia had been eying the human the whole time, with a very slight hint of playfulness in there despite the hardened ‘judge’ face she was wearing. “Forgive me, everypony, for waiting on the trial. I am waiting for Bob’s attorney to show up-”

The throne room doors slammed open, and Princess Luna came trotting in while wearing a blue suit. The sleeves went all the way down to the mare’s foreleg ankles. There were slits for Luna’s wings, which were closed. The suit ended just before the alicorn’s hips… she was wearing socks on her rear-hindlegs that went up to the knees… Even if they were more like a pony’s ankles than a knee.

“Holy shit,” Bob had to resist the urge to immediately pull Luna into a hug and scratch her ears, because she looked adorable.

“Hello, Bob. As you are certain, you have the right to a lawyer, just as the plaintiff is. Unfortunately, nopony wanted to take this case due to how difficult it would be to win.” Luna said, seating herself so she was practically squished into Bob’s side, which he didn’t really even mind. “Is something wrong? You look about ready to cry.”

“No,” Bob whispered. “Ponies in suits; something I never thought I’d wanna see, but now I can’t not wanna see it. You look adorable.”

“...Bob, I will lick your eye.”

“Do it, no balls.”

“...You are lucky that I have to look serious.” Luna looked at Bolt Strike’s attorney. “Seriously, why did you even show up? Both I, and my sister are witnesses, and are better trained in law than you ever will be. One of us, no matter the time of day, would be the high-judge, and the other would be Bob’s lawyer. There is physically no way you would be able to win.”

“That’s because you two arrested me for stopping a monster!” Bolt Strike growled. The stallion, miraculously, was fully healed, despite him being a bloody pulp last night.

“...You beat the shit out of me because you’re racist, and you hate that I treat your daughter better than you could treat any woman.”

“You were treating her like an animal!”

“Order!” Chrysalis slammed her mallet down so hard that it broke. Her eyes buldged, while Celestia just blankly stared at the Queen. Chrysalis chuckled before hiding the mallet. “Bolt Strike, you’re guilty. Seriously, there’s no way out of this. Three royals saw you commit an unwarranted assault on a minor. You have a long list of hate crimes. You reportedly assaulted the same minor, that you're on trial for assaulting right now, two years ago, have a long record of being violent, racist and unbecoming of a Royal Guard. To top it off, you’ve been accused of domestic abuse, with one of your wives sporting a black eye from said domestic abuse. There was also a report of you finding one of my changelings, one of my children, and beating them within an inch of their life… they died in the hospital.” Bolt Strike’s eyes narrowed on the Queen.

"You can't prove anything! I didn't kill one of your stupid bugs!"

“I have changelings everywhere, you fool. You attacked that changeling while they were buying groceries for their mate, who happened to be a pony. One of the few ponies that actually accepted one of my own upon being forced to undisguise themselves. That pony is now a grieving, pregnant mother with that changeling’s foal. That drone's death was reported, and I have been sending the poor mare a stipend for the last few months. Do you even understand how much it is taking me to not cut your head off here and now? My child is dead, and my future grandfoal will never know one of his parents because of you.”

Bolt punched the table, damn near cracking it. “You were treating me poorly when you arrested me! You unlawfully handled a prisoner-”

“I was handling you as a prisoner of the Hive, not of Equestria. In my country, you would’ve had your limbs broken while my children skin you alive, pod you, or castrate you with a pair of garden shears… without the use of painkillers. What I did to you was mild by comparison. So, you are guilty.” The queen looked to the lawyer. “Thorax, you can quit pretending to be a lawyer. Step away from him as well; a being so full of hatred cannot be healthy for you to be sitting by. I commend you for managing so long.”

The stallion's lawyer let out a relieved sigh. “Thank the Queen... Thank you Mom,” the stallion sitting beside Bolt Strike bursted into green flames that shot towards Chrysalis. In a moment, there was a changeling snuggled into Chrysalis’s chest, facing the crowd. His head slotted right between his mother’s forelegs as she hugged him closer. Bob almost squealed in delight at the adorable sight. “That stallion smells rotten, your highness, and he is getting ready to lie to you as much as possible despite how futile those attempts may be.” Thorax said to Celestia. “We changelings can work as good lie detectors, even if the Bearer of Honesty is better at detecting lies than I am.”

Chrysalis couldn’t help but giggle when her child looked over Apple Jack, like he was trying to get a look at something… more on the mare.

Thorax did have an apparent crush on one of the Bearers; they were celebrities and Apple Jack, aside from Rainbow Dash, was the most physically fit of the six… It only made sense for her son to take interest in the farmer.

“Hold it!” Bolt Strike growled. “What about my right to a lawyer?”

“You lost that right when you struck at a foal, Mr. Strike. On the table in front of you, you will also see divorce papers. Do sign those; you’re not getting out of that either. That’s why your family is here, after all,” Celestia said with a small smile. “Hopefully you will choose a path… more harmonious once your sentence is up.” Bolt grumbled as he signed every single paper, including a termination slip from the guard. As soon as he was done, Thorax disappeared, and reappeared behind the stallion with a frying pan. One loud ‘clang’ later, and six more changelings picked the stallion off before dragging him away for his ‘trial’ in the Hive.

“So,” Bob said. “Why a trial if that was gonna happen?”

“As an Equestrian citizen, Bolt Strike is allowed a trial; not a fair trial, but he had to have a trial. We were going to have a ‘proper’ trial, but then you booped your lawyer on the nose, because you think she’s wearing a cute outfit,” Celestia said with a mischievous smile. “I told her to put the suit on, so that you’ll take her seriously… I can tell that you didn’t.”

“What? Luna looks adorable! How could I not hug her?” Bob asked, now hugging Luna with his good arm. “If I didn’t have a broken arm and a fucked up skull, I would probably carry her out and give her a belly rub in the hallway.”

“I thought the suit would make me look like a professional! That’s what Rarity told me when she made it!”

The two giggled before everyone relaxed. “So, Mrs. Pike,” Princess Celestia spoke up. “You are currently the new head of your family; do you still plan on moving to Ponyville?”

“The quieter town would be nicer. You said you would be sending some stallions to help the three of us move our stuff?”

“As the law states, newly divorced mares may receive aid from the Crown should they wish to relocate,” Chrysalis states. “That is what Equestria follows upon divorce,” she got out of her chair. “Well, I shall tend to Bolt Strike’s… imprisonment. Luna, I hope to see you for dinner?”

“If Bob doesn’t knock me out beforehoof,” the Princess nodded.

Several days had passed since the trial. Bob was still wearing his cast, but his head no longer needed bandages thanks to Twilight constantly casting healing spells on the human’s skull. Now, it was safe for the unicorn to safely cuddle with Bob and lay in his lap, without accidentally harming him. So long as she minds his healing arm, at the very least. It was nearing night time, but Twilight was wide awake; Princess Celestia sent Twilight a letter and a spell diagram.

“You know,” Bob started. “Perhaps you should wait before casting a random spell that Celestia sent.”

“Pfft, what’s the worst that can happen?” Twilight asked, while yawning. “Princess Celestia told me to finish this spell, the very one that Starswirl the Bearded wrote, but never finished!” She clapped her hooves. “Just imagine what it could do.” Spike was already fast asleep upstairs.

“Twi, casting spells while you’re tired, especially incomplete spells sounds like a disaster waiting to-”

Twilight’s horn lit up and performed the runes… Nothing happened.

“I swear, Twilight, if the library blows up and kills me in the morning before Zippy can finally say ‘hi’ after moving and settling it, I will haunt your ass.”

“Well, the spell didn’t do anything, so I don’t see why you would randomly die. Though if you do haunt me, I will find a way to bring you back to life.”

“Cool. I could be a zombie. That sounds fun!” The human said sarcastically. “C’mon, I wanna get some sleep. Zippy’ll wanna stop by, and take me out for a walk around Ponyville to help her get acquainted with the area. Rainbow’s joining us, since our original plans are kinda on hold until this,” Bob pointed at his cast. “Heals up properly.”

“My little brother is going on a date! Oh! I bet you’ll want to wear a tuxedo-”

“It’s a walk around the park. Zippy’ll probably wear a simple dress again, or a bowtie after figuring out that I might’ve said that she’d look adorable if she wore one. Rainbow’s going completely nude, as per usual with you ponies. I can just go in my tank top and my shorts since it’s a nice, summer day.”

“Alright… We’ll go to sleep. Maybe tomorrow I can get started on figuring out what this spell actually does.” Bob stood up, Twiggles in one arm, with her draped over his shoulder. Twilight was using her magic to hold onto Bob better so he wouldn’t need his other hand at all. The human carried his adoptive sister up stairs before promptly crawling into bed with her. After making sure there was no conceivable way Twilight could roll onto the cast, they snuggled up closely, despite the warm weather, and went to sleep.

Truth be told, Twilight did want to be an older sister, and while she was that to Spike, he wasn’t that big on cuddling at all. Bob, however, was the perfect little brother in her mind; she could snuggle with the human all night long and he wouldn’t complain. And as the older sister, Twilight had no complaints with snuggling with either of her younger sisters should they want to, and right now, Bob clearly wanted to. So who was she to deny it?

She took one more, long, deep breath before releasing it. She laid her head in the nook of Bob’s neck, right at the collarbone, before drifting off to sleep with the aid of Bob idly stroking her ears.

The next day, Twilight woke up, had her breakfast, and bursted into song as soon as her plate was empty. Given that the mare had a pretty (un)healthy amount of cheese with her eggs, Bob was somewhat shocked to find that her voice wasn’t raspy in any way, shape, or form. Given that dairy products tend to screw with your throat and, by extension, your vocal chords and all that stuff. The tune itself sounded a bit like something out of a play that Bob’s heard of before. The door reopened and Zippy trotted in wearing a bowtie, along with a letter in her mouth.

“You look adorable, as I suspected,” Bob chuckled as Zippy spat the letter out on the table. “What’s this?”
“A letter from Rainbow Dash; it was for both of us. It basically just says she’s busy taking care of some animals.”

“Hold it,” Bob raised a hand. “Rainbow’s taking care of an animal that isn’t her tortoise?”

“Yeah? Why is that weird-“

“Jesus christ… Zippy, Fluttershy’s the animal caretaker of our group, not Rainbow. Lemme guess, she gave it to you before dashing off to her ‘cottage’?”

“Yeah… I thought she lived in a sky castle.”

“You didn’t notice anything wrong with her mark?”

“I did… It was actually Fluttershy’s cutie mark.”

“I think I know what that spell, that Princess Celestia sent…” The human cringed before slouching. “Well, we aren’t gonna do much while sitting around, doing nothing.” Bob got out of his chair. “So want that tour, or do you wanna help out our national heroes with whatever this week’s bullshit is turning out to be?”

“I think the tour can wait. If what is happening is affecting Rainbow Dash, then…”

“How are we actually even gonna do anything?” Bob asked, leading Zippy towards Fluttershy’s cottage. “I’m no mage, and I don’t think you know how to swap cutie marks around, do ya?”

“I… I don’t even think there’s a spell powerful enough to do that,” Zippy shrugged. “What spell did Princess Celestia send to Twilight?”

“A spell from some dead dude, Starswirl the Bearded.”

“Starwirls the Bearded?”

“Yeah, I know. Twi’s shocked that nopony knows Star Swirl the bearded…” The human sighed. “Let’s go make sure Rainbow doesn’t burn Fluttershy’s house down until Twilight can solve this… that’ll probably work out better than whatever the hell we can do.”

By the end of the first hour, Rainbow Dash was tied up, Zippy was hanging from the ceiling, from a rope that was tied around all four of her legs. Bob tied up, and sat next to Rainbow Dash while Angel kept giving him the stink eye. “Mother fucker,” Bob sighed. He leaned back and nudged the pegasus. “How’re you holding up?”

“I… I don’t know. I don’t like this,” Rainbow moved her head, pointing all around with her muzzle. “But my cutie mark is telling me to do it, so I’m doing it.” Bob’s good arm could be at least close enough to rub the pegasus’s back. “I don’t get how anypony could get these animals to behave! I thought… I knew a pony that could, but I can’t remember her name…” She sighed. “At least I have you and Zippy with me; maybe we can bribe the animals into behaving.”

“With what? My blood?!” Zippy groaned. “Why did they even tie us up?”

“I don’t know,” Rainbow Dash sighed. “This sucks.”

“Tell me about it,” Bob leaned back. “Hopefully Twilight figures something out; she accidentally casted that spell, that I’m assuming did whatever it did to you… For now I’m gonna take a nap and hope nothing else goes wrong.” Bob leaned back into his marefriend, having slipped his good arm out without any of the animals noticing. He wrapped his arm around the pegasus and laid his eyes on Zippy before he drowsily went to sleep. With both mares knowing that they couldn’t really do much else, decided to take a nap as well.

“C’mon guys, check it out!” Bob said, coaxing his older siblings into the garage…

“What are you showing us this time?” the eldest of the three brothers, Sean, asked. Despite being one of the first people to be shown what was about to be shown, when Bob was first practicing it, he was still excited to see the final project.”

“Listen…” Bob walked over to the work machine in the corner of the garage. Next to it was an electric drum kit. The wall had a shelf where a violin case laid, along with an electric guitar. Next to the shelf, was a microhpone sitting over a piano to help record any of the present instruments. These were given to Bob over the years once he showed an interest in making music. The violin case shined pristinely as Bob hit play on the project.

It was his own rendition of I wanna be in the calvary. Being the good brothers they were, they listened first, and then teased Bob here and there while genuinely enjoying what the youngest of the four of them managed to put together. “You sure you don’t wanna post this anywhere?” Sean asked.

“People’ll make fun of me,” Bob said.

“Or they’ll love you.”

“But…”

“Richie, just you can’t just-”

“Bob, wake up!” Zippy put her front hooves on Bob, and was genuinely planning on kicking her coltfriend in the stomach to wake him up. “Twilight found a way to fix Rainbow Dash! C’mon, she’s fixing the rest of the Elements!”

“Oh shit…” Bob hopped on his feet, before chasing the excited teenager out of the cottage. They just caught Twilight running from a group hug between her, and her friends that were now back to normal and happy again. “God fucking dammit,” Bob groaned as he had to run after the group of ponies, being the slowest of the group, managed to just catch something inside the library blowing up… The door was wide open, Zippy, Spike and the Element Bearers were staring wide eyed, or crying for some reason. Bob ran in to see a black scorch mark next to a scroll with Star Swirl’s spell diagram on it.

“What… the… fuck… happened… to my sister.” Bob snarled.

Author's Note:

Luna in a suit

twilight is gonna grow wings.

Comments

[Codiert]

Luna in a suit

No wonder Bob could not help himself.

[Theresa hall]

Nobody thought when she started fixing the elements to wake him considering that fluttershy cottage was the first stop in fixing everyone.

[FoxyLove]

Luna in a suit is precious!!!! Also Yes Twilight is gonna get her wings. And there was no Red Bull used to make it happen.

[Dedalthoro]

I can't wait to get to the part where "The Fallen Human" appears and he reveals that he was the first human to be in the world and that he is ready to take revenge on the Princesses in general and causes Bob to enter a crisis of ideals because "The Fallen" is just someone broken by what they've been through and it's actually not that bad!

...

My bad, Wrong Story...

[6mike161]

I can’t believe Nugget added one of the worst episodes of the series to his story but I’m willing to look past that because the story is good.

[Solar_Wolf]

First part was grate wean twilight cast Star swirl the Bearded spell is ok part not my fave one following the story tipe I like wine things go different give Bob wings or magic 🪄 or have the elements go hover around Bob and zippy giving them sopling special