ARTICLE 2

by Muppetz

ARTICLE 2 Part VII

ARTICLE 2

Part VII

By: Muppetz (!Gsih3Wfnlk)

~~~~~

Twilight had to crane her neck slightly to see through the tiny rectangular port hole on the large steel door. With one large violet eye, she peeked inside.

The human lay on his cot, but Twilight couldn't say for certain whether or not he was actually asleep. He was lying on his stomach. His pillow had been knocked to the floor, his back rose and fell rhythmically, but he otherwise displayed no signs of consciousness.

Luna pushed her face up next to Twilight to get a view for herself. “Is he asleep?” she whispered curiously.

“I think so, it’s hard to tell.” Twilight whispered back.

A few hours had passed since their last meeting with the human. After Luna shared some of the revelations she gleaned, Twilight scoured the libraries for any record of human kind. She combed the volumes, paging through everything from histories to mythologies, biographies to encyclopedias, yet she found no mention of the cryptic species.

This omission worried Twilight, especially since the Canterlot Royal Archives were among the most extensive in all of Equestria. If any record or allusion existed, it would be here. Despite her failures, Twilight clung to the possibility that somewhere some lore or legend would make mention of “humanity”.

“Well, there’s one way to find out,” Luna said, snapping Twilight back into the present.

Luna’s horn glowed as she unwound the enchantments that locked the door. The sonorous grinding that usually accompanied the deadbolts sliding out of place was noticeably absent; perhaps the princess was magically muffling the sound to avoid waking the human. Or perhaps she had merely neglected to bother using them the last time she sealed the door.

Twilight sincerely hoped it was the latter. For some reason sneaking up on this human while it slept seemed like a terrible idea.

The door sluggishly swung inward. Luna nudged it impatiently and slipped inside. Twilight followed close behind.

If the human was awake, his figure didn't betray it. His face was buried in the crook of his elbows, which were folded neatly under his head. The toes of his boots hung over the edge of his cot, which placed him over six feet tall. This, coupled with his almost two hundred pound frame and, admittedly, rather imposing presence in the room did nothing to instill confidence in their current reanimatory aspirations.

“Alright... how do we go about doing this?” Luna wondered in a hushed tone.

“Preferably... with a very long stick, and from a safe distance,” Twilight answered, perfectly serious.

“We don’t have one of those,” Luna replied. She stepped further into the room, bravely approaching the sleeping human. Twilight hesitated to get so close.

“Major?” Luna began rather quietly, he did not stir in the slightest. “Major,” Luna repeated a bit more loudly to no avail. She tentatively lifted a hoof and as gently as possible, nudged his shoulder. “Shane,” Luna repeated in a tone slightly louder than speaking. She nudged just enough to gently rock the human.

Quicker than Twilight could catch, his left arm swung out and slapped away Luna's hoof. He lazily swiveled his head to identify his antagonizer.

His head recoiled as if stung. He jerked around, eyes wide, and pressed against the far wall. He balled up his fists defensively.

Luna immediately held up a wing to shield the young purple mare at her side and slowly backed away submissively.

He pressed against the far wall blinking like an owl for several seconds before recognition entered his countenance. His fists fell limply to the cot as the memory rushed back to him. Several choice swear words wafted into the air, while he ran a hand though his cropped mane.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you alright?” Luna asked cautiously.

“No,” he replied brusquely.

“What’s wrong?” she probed further.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his face with the palms of his hands. His arms slumped down to either side. “I’m still here,” he explained distastefully while staring angrily at the ceiling.

“Ah, I’ll try not to take that personally,” Luna said amused.

“Don’t try too hard,” he retorted disdainfully.

Luna chuckled at his delightfully caustic mannerisms. Twilight on the other hoof found his casual cruelty all too fascinating. She figured that most obvious explanation was it was a defense mechanism of sorts, but she couldn’t say for certain. She secretly wished for another human to compare his behaviors against, but for the moment, she decided one was more than enough to handle.

“If you’re still feeling up to it, dinner is waiting.”

It took him a moment to recall his agreement to dine with the alicorns. He ran his hands through his cropped mane once more, then snaked an arm under the cot, producing his marpat blouse which was still tied in a neat bundle. He fingered loose the knotted sleeves, grabbed a fistful of the chains, and deposited them in the large pocket near his right knee.

He sat for a moment, pensively staring at the floor. His reverie did not last long however and soon he pursed his lips and pulled on the blouse, carefully sliding his bandaged arms through the sleeves, then stood and began buttoning the blouse.

He tried brushing a few wrinkles out with little success and eventually gave up. He eyed the ponies. “I’m assuming you two are my escorts then?”

Luna and Twilight nodded happily.

“So how does this work?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“Well, usually it entails you following us to a room other than a prison cell, where we proceed eat to food.”

“Hmm. What are the odds they’ll be serving steak?”

“Slim to none.”

“Figures.” He motioned toward the door. “Lead the way.”

Luna beamed a happy smile, and motioned to Twilight, who slipped back out the door and into the dark hallway. She nodded encouragingly at Shane who remained hesitantly in his cell.

His first few steps out were halting and uncertain. He rolled his shoulders and took a deep breath as he exited.

The guards eyed him suspiciously; he hadn’t exactly established a stellar reputation with them. Several armored stallions were prepared to shepherd them to the castle.

Their commander sternly approached Twilight and produced a set of gleaming silver shackles.

Shane looked down at the hoof cuffs and then back up at Aegis with an unseemly grin, “Presumptuous aren't we?”

Aegis was not as amused.

Luna trotted up, “Those won’t be necessary, Commander.”

Shane turned to Luna still smirking, “You’re supposed to buy me dinner before you bust out the hand-cuffs.”

“Very cute,” Luna chided sarcastically.

Twilight suppressed a grin.

“Highness?” Aegis questioned.

Luna looked over at the commander reassuringly, “Don’t worry, Commander. He isn’t going to cause any trouble. Are you?” she directed the last part toward Shane.

“Don’t give me a reason to,” he retorted.

Aegis did not appreciate the response. Twilight did her best to give him a confident smile, but that only served to deepen his frown.

“Let’s go, Celestia is waiting on us.” Luna prodded, taking the initiative to lead the group.

Shane took one last look at Aegis, sporting a strange grin. “Sorry, chief. If it makes you feel better I wouldn’t trust me either. Better luck next time.”

Aegis cocked an eyebrow at the human, clearly not a fan of the term ‘chief’.

The human turned and followed Luna down the hallway. Twilight had to trot for a few seconds to catch up to the pair. Several guards had already taken up their positions around the group. Luna leading the way Twilight found a spot walking next to the human.

He looked down to the smiling purple filly, seemingly puzzled by her proximity but he did not otherwise protest, choosing instead to absorb the details of his surroundings. He routinely glanced over his shoulder at the guards bringing up the rear. It struck Twilight as a tad paranoid, but she imagined that if she were in his position she might be a bit on edge as well.

One final turn led to a long hallway ending in a set of large ominous black doors. Luna’s horn flashed and the doors swung open, ushering in a torrent of dusky orange sunlight.

~~~~~

Everything was prepared. They appropriated one of the smaller dining rooms; the main banquet hall was far too large, had too many windows, and was much too conspicuous.

Celestia obviously could not have servants running to and fro during the meal, so she had prepared everything needed in advance. Every course was on the table. She made certain to have a wide variety of foods present, to allow the human to choose for himself what to eat. Upon Pinkie Pie’s encouragement, Celestia also arranged to present an impressive array of baked goods. That is... if Pinkie didn’t burn her way through them first.

Twilight and Luna left to fetch the human almost half an hour ago. Celestia was tempted to worry about the two, but she reminded herself that they could not risk an attempt to teleport the human. And the walk from the dungeons to the room would take time, especially if they detoured through side passages to avoid the general public. Most ponies would not likely be wandering the castle this time of day, it was late, and most had already gone home to be with their families. But some were sure to still be lingering about.

The other five ponies busily entertained themselves. Pinkie Pie was devouring any edible matter within arm’s reach. Fluttershy sat politely listening to Rarity gab about some noteworthy pony she had encountered. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were busy doing what they always did; arguing.

Celestia enjoyed watching the group; they never failed to make her smile. Ode to the antics of the young. Celestia’s horn began to glitter with a gold aura and a small porcelain kettle followed suit as it lifted into the air and tilted. A small stream of tea shot from the spout, collecting in a delicate teacup.

Celestia sipped at the concoction demurely, awaiting the return of her sister.

~~~~~

“This is the most architecturally irresponsible structure I have ever seen in my life,” Shane complained to Luna whist they made their way through the castle. “You walk like... twenty clicks in ANY direction, and you’ll hit perfectly flat stable ground, but noooo, you pick the side of a friggin’ cliff.” He cautiously peeked over the edge of a banister and looked down the long drop to the valley below.

“Shane... are you afraid of heights?” Twilight taunted playfully.

“No, I’m afraid of precariously perched castles crashing down around my head and burying me alive.”

Luna chuckled, “This castle has been here for well over a thousand years. It isn’t about to collapse, I promise.”

“Oh, great. So the castle is teetering on a cliff AND ancient. That’s terrific. I feel much better.” He laid the sarcasm so thick it could be cut with a butter knife.

“Come on, we need to get moving. We’re late enough already,” Luna urged.

With one last look off the edge of the balcony Shane and Twilight retook their places in the formation and continued to follow the midnight blue alicorn, deeper into the castle.

Twilight knew the passages and corridors could seem monotonous and confusing to some; she had spent a great deal of her younger years in the castle and even she still became confused at times.

She looked at the human. He did not seem overly concerned, but he continued ritually swiveling his head back and forth, occasionally craning his neck to check on the guards at his back.

It took him a while, but he finally seemed to accept Twilight’s company. He even sporadically leaned down to ask her something; mostly questions about the castle or some statue or piece of art adorning the halls. Twilight answered as best she could, but not every statue or figurine held some significance to pony culture. Twilight exlpained that most were merely decorative.

They walked down another abandoned corridor where sets of oak doors occasionally interrupted the monotonous polished marble.

As Luna passed another unassuming set of doors, their handles glowed a soft pink and opened from the other side through some incredible stroke of bad luck. The sheer improbability that the unseen spell-caster would come through those doors right at that moment boggled Twilight's mind.

The human stopped in his tracks. Guards already moved to subdue either the intruder or the human should it prove necessary. Luna spun around in shock, like a filly that had been caught pilfering cookies.

A smallish dark pink unicorn trotted casually out into the hallway, nose buried deep in a yellow folder full of legal documents. The mare was clearly oblivious to all the anxious eyes following her.

She collided face first into the humans side, knocking her back on her haunches, and sending papers scattering everywhere. She landed on her rump, dazed by the sudden impact. She fumbled to adjust the set of small framed glasses resting on her little pink nose, and began to stammer out an apology, before looking up at the bruised and bloody human, towering over her. She paled to a ghostly level, her irises shrinking to pinprick size.

Given his history, Shane took to the intrusion rather well. Twilight figured he didn’t consider the tiny mare a threat, or maybe he just wasn’t in attack mode at the moment.

He regarded the petrified mare at his feet for several seconds. Finally he knelt down and sat on his heels, balancing on his toes. “Boo.”

The poor pink filly’s face drained of any last vestiges of color, and without even a second thought she spun around and bolted away at a full gallop, leaving every wafting scrap of paper behind.

“Really?” Twilight panned, despite Shane’s obvious delight.

“Lighten up. I’m having fun,” he defended, still chuckling.

“You have a strange concept of fun,” Luna said in a chiding voice as she approached.

One of the guards stepped forward. “Should we go after her, ma’am?”

“No. I doubt one pony is capable of inciting mass panic. However, try and find out who she was and at least make sure she’s alright, and that she isn’t hiding in a closet suffering a heart attack.” She shot a disapproving glare at Shane.

“Don’t give me that look. It was funny and you know it. Thank me later.”

Luna found his justificatory logic unsatisfying. She shook her head, not willing to get into another argument about it. “Come on, we need to keep moving.” Luna turned and retook her place at the forefront of the procession. They approached a long flight of stairs followed by a few more hallways.

“How does she know where she’s going? Everything looks the same,” he said to Twilight in a hushed tone.

“It’s confusing at first. You get used to it.”

“Is that so?” he said in a flat voice.

“Mmm hmm. I grew up here, you know,” she offered, hoping maybe that if she offered some insight into her own life, he might open up as well.

“Lucky you,” he quipped distractedly, once again quashing Twilight’s hopes; apparently it would take more than idle banter to break him out of his cynical shell.

The hallway lead to a larger central passageway where all the corridors intersected. Luna held up a hoof, halting the group. She craned her head around the corner, looking both ways for any potential witnesses. She beckoned with another wave of the hoof and proceed to walk down the hallway, albeit at a brisker pace.

Twilight rounded the corner, stepping out onto vibrant red carpet, which accented white and gold marble. The hallway was vacant, save two ponies walking in the opposite direction. They were a fair clip away and didn’t bother turning around to identify the hoof falls of the group.

The procession walked down the exposed passageway for a few hundred feet before ducking into another, short hallway. This one leading to a set of doors marked with gold placards.

Before proceeding through the doors, Luna turned and addressed the guards. Four were to accompany them inside, the rest were to stand outside and try to look inconspicuous. How exactly eight armored guards were supposed to accomplish this, Twilight had no idea, but they sounded their compliance with zeal nonetheless.

Then Luna turned on Shane. “Do we remember the rules?” she asked patronizingly.

He gave Luna a flat, angry stare.

“Splendid,” she said beaming. “Let’s go then.” Luna closed the remaining gap between the doors. She placed one gilded hoof on the doors and gave a light push, and they glided open.

~~~~~

“Are you making this up?” Applejack inquired incredulously.

“No it’s totally true. Pegasi can be either left or right winged,” Dash explained again.

“That don’t make a lick a sense. If they’re always flappin in sync how can one be dominant? If ya favored one wing over tha other wouldn’t ya tend ta... tilt?”

“It’s not like the dominant wing is more powerful or something. It’s just kinda like... they’ll tend to use their right or left wing more, or they’ll bank left more than right. It’s a bit more subtle than being right or left hooved, but it’s still totally true.”

“Fluttershy, is she making this up?”

“Oh... um... well... no, she is right. We went over it in flight school. I never really favored one wing over the other, but I have heard that some pegasi do.”

Celestia polished off a second cup of tea. Luna would arrive any moment. Celestia sat demurely at the table, patiently waiting and watching. She defined composure. Still, she would be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit nervous. This was possibly their last chance to repair the damage done the past few days.

For countless sleepless nights Celestia and her sister had slaved to ensure the continued prosperity of the ponies they loved so much. So much work, so much care and so much love went into the vision that was Equestria. They had done well too; Equestria had flourished under their vigil. It was not perfect, nothing ever is, but it was likely as close to perfection as they could get.

But this human jeopardized everything. Granted it was through no fault of his own, but still, he threatened all they had worked for. Regardless of his intentions, his very presence could easily destabilize the entire nation.

The easy solution would have been to simply let him die so that this whole situation could be neatly swept under the rug. But she found such an avenue repugnant and rejected it entirely. No, their decision had already been made, and there was no going back on it now.

The road ahead was foggy. Even she could not predict what the future held, but what was clear, is that none of the paths ahead would be easy. Although, she had to admit it was becoming increasingly difficult to previse a happy ending from this mess. If any such hope existed, it depended heavily on this human’s full cooperation. Which is partially why this dinner was so important. They needed him on their side.

Celestia's ears perked as she heard the inconspicuous sound armored hooves outside the door. Each of the girls also fell quiet as they glued their eyes to the door on the far end of the room.

“Remember girls,” Celestia began, “we need him to like us, so be polite.”

The door swung open, and from the dimly lit passage strode a very proud looking Luna. The two guards at her sides took up stations on either side of the door. Luna made her way into the room and Shane followed her inside hesitantly. He took the time to eye the door frame before stepping through and examining the room.

He scanned over the collection of ponies until he spied Fluttershy. He stared at the pegasus for a brief second, before turning around and walking back out the door.

“Hey!” Twilight shouted before clamping his shirt tail in her teeth. Her hooves found no grip on the smooth floor, and she was dragged out into the hallway. The door closed behind the two with a soft click.

“Okay, not the best start,” Celestia panned to herself.

Luna sat down at the table next to her sister before losing her smug smile and looking about curiously, “Where’d he go?”

Celestia nodded subtley toward Fluttershy, and comprehension filled Luna’s eyes. Celestia wondered if it were even possible for the yellow pegasus to sink into her own mane any further. The poor girl had clearly caught the message, and the look on her face made Celestia’s heart ache.

“Should... Should I leave?” Fluttershy squeaked out, clearly holding back tears.

“No, my dear,” Celestia replied as calmly and assuringly as she could, “I want you to stay here. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“She kinda di-”

Applejack stuffed a hoof in Rainbow Dash’s mouth.

“He’ll come around, I promise. It’s just going to take some time. I imagine he isn’t in a very happy place right now. We just need to be patient.”

Fluttershy appeared unconvinced, but she had not yet broken into tears. Celestia took that as a good sign.

~~~

Twilight clamped the tails of his blouse tightly between her teeth, and she was not about to let him go. He had no trouble dragging her plot along. His rubber-soled boots gave him better traction on the polished marble.

He made it almost halfway down the hallway before the guards massed and blocked his path. Their expressions made it clear he would not leave so easily.

He stopped, trapped between the guards and double doors leading back to Fluttershy. Twilight released his shirt.

Once Twilight had caught her breath she began, “Alright look, we can’t do this every time you and Fluttershy are in the same room.”

“I agree. I propose we never be in the same room.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Twilight said annoyed. “Fluttershy is the kindest pony in Equestria! Why won’t you give her a chance?” Twilight pleaded.

He didn’t say anything, staring at the wall with his arms crossed, his bottom jaw jutting out like a pouting child.

“I mean she bandaged your arms for you didn’t she?”

“Oh yeah, ‘Here are some band-aids, hope this makes up for that mind rape from earlier,’” he mocked.

Twilight circled around to his front to force him to meet her gaze. Unfortunately he stood much taller than her. It was difficult to grab someone’s eyes when yours only reached their stomach. She looked up at the human, who was indignantly staring above the purple mare. “Shane,” Twilight tried. He still refused to look at her. “Shane!” Twilight said a little more forcefully.

His eyes flicked down to her.

She furrowed her brow and pointed a hoof down at the floor.

He looked down and cocked his head with a ‘you’ve got to be kidding’ look.

Twilight deepened her scowl and pointed aggressively at the floor.

He rolled his eyes and sighed, annoyed. He lowered himself to Twilight’s level, and sat on his heels.

Twilight's frustration relented and she spoke in a hushed tone, “Look, I don’t care whether you believe me or not, but that pony in there wants nothing more than to help you.”

“I’m not entirely sure how much more of your ‘help’ I can take.” He intuitively responded in a discrete tone.

“She did that to protect you, whether you want to believe it or not. If she hadn’t stopped you, the princess would have put you down, and even if she didn’t the guards would have. With the way you were acting, I say you got a very lucky draw.”

He chewed on the inside of his cheek, looking away. Twilight was right and he knew it.

Twilight was on a roll. “I understand your trepidation, I do. What she did was wrong. But at the time it was the lesser of two evils. She did what she thought was best at the time just as you would have. She isn’t going to use the stare again, I promise. She hated having to use it in the first place. Now I’m not asking you to kiss and make up, just... stop being so horrible to her. She already feels terrible and all she wants is your forgiveness. If you aren’t ready to give that yet, fine. But at least try.”

He fidgeted apprehensively. “Fine,” he eventually let out, sounding none too happy about it. “But I don’t want her looking at me,” he stipulated, “that’s how she gets you.”

Twilight smiled proudly, but he elected not to return the gesture. “Thank you, now come on.” Twilight led Shane back into the room. This time no one was dragged.

“Is everything alright?” Luna asked tentatively.

Twilight looked back to Shane.

“As alright as it going to get,” he sighed.

Luna beamed, once again mesmerized by Twilight’s lecturing power.

Celestia smiled as well. “Have a seat, Major.” She indicated the chair directly to her right.

Shane appeared apprehensive but walked over to the snow white alicorn. He sat down.

“Please, help yourself,” Celestia encouraged.

Twilight sat in the seat on his other side. She beheld the veritable feast the Princesses had arranged, and her stomach grumbled hungrily. However starved she felt, she was unsure if she should begin eating. She was wholly unfamiliar with human dining customs.

Everypony else shared her uncertainty, so the entire party stared at the human to see what he’d do. Unfortunately he seemed to be doing the same. Both sides waited for the other to make the first move in an awkward stalemate.

The human looked down at the selection of food. An ornate salad with a raspberry dressing was the foremost dish. There was an identical salad at every place at the table.

The human gingerly picked out a bright red cherry tomato. Everypony watched him intently, but instead of eating the tiny fruit, as they all expected, he carefully placed the tomato squarely on a nearby silver spoon. He finally looked around the room at all the curious mares.

He tried to seem as nonchalant as possible when he pounded a fist on the opposite side of the spoon, catapulting the small tomato in a high arc above the table.

Everypony’s eyes tracked the small fruit through the air. Shane quickly made use of the distraction to switch plates with the purple mare next to him.

“How sneaky,” Celestia thought, amused as she pretended not to notice.

The tomato collided with the wall with a pathetic little splat, and fell to the floor. Everyone turned back to the human who was grinning victoriously.

“Um... what was that for?” Dash dared to ask, confused.

He shrugged, still grinning. “Icebreaker?”

Celestia chuckled.

Shane inspected his tiny collection of silverware: all spoons. He picked one up and dipped it in his salad bowl. Lifting it, almost every piece of lettuce fell off and back into the bowl. “I think a fork might be slightly better suited for this particular meal.”

“I’m trying to avoid giving you pointy things,” Celestia teased.

He grinned devilishly, “Oh good. You’re learning.” He abandoned his spoon and picked up a leaf with his fingers and placed it in his mouth. He chewed it for a bit before swallowing, “Alright, that’s pretty good.”

The group breathed a collective sigh of relief as they too began helping themselves to their food.

“So Major,” Rarity finally spoke, “if I may ask; who designed your... uh... ensemble?” she spoke with a subtle overtone of disapproval.

The human snorted and looked down at himself. “I don’t know... the DoD?”

“Ah... I see.” She sounded disappointed.

He laughed again. “Aw, she doesn’t like my cammies.” he joked.

“No no no,” she rushed to amend, “they’re... lovely. It’s just they are a bit... unusual. Is that a common dress among humans?”

“Among my kinds of humans, yeah. It’s a military uniform.”

“Military huh?” Dash interjected. “You ever go to war?”

“Dash,” Twilight scolded.

“Twice,” the human responded casually.

“You ever kill anypony?”

“DASH!” Twilight sounded horrified.

The human still didn’t look offended; the question seemed to amuse him.

“I’m just making conversation,” Dash defended.

“We ran into a bit of a snag on the way up,” Luna started, eager to change the subject.

Celestia turned to her sister, alarmed. “How bad?”

“A young mare I didn’t recognize bumped into us. The Major was kind enough to send her running in terror before we could get a chance to talk to her.” She cast and angry glance at Shane. He was busy snickering through a mouthful of salad.

“It was pretty funny though,” he defended between bites.

“Is it going to be a problem?” Celestia asked, ignoring him.

“I don’t think so. The testimony of one pony is hardly enough to incite panic, but it’s something to keep an eye on just in case.”

“I feel obligated to point out that you wouldn’t have to keep your eyes on anything had you simply let my ass die,” Shane panned. He sniffed the clear liquid in the glass in front of him, took a tentative sip, and identified it as water. He took a few more sips.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” Celestia mock-apologized.

“Why did you do it?” he asked in a serious tone.

“Do what?”

“Save me.”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” she said teasingly while dipping a small biscuit in her tea.

“I just don’t see what you get out of this.”

“Answers, Major. We get answers, and a dead man gives us none. You are simply going to have to trust that we do not harbor any malicious intent.”

“What if I don’t?”

“Then we will sit here, at an impasse, until one of us turns to dust. Are all humans so incredulous?”

“It’s come to be my understanding, that if something sounds too good to be true, it is. I’m still trying to figure out why I’m not on a table being dissected.”

“You seem awfully keen about this dissection thing,” Luna noted.

“To be perfectly honest, had you landed on my planet, they would have chopped your ass up faster than you could say ‘Take me to your leader’.” Luna’s expression must have given him pause because he added, “... nothing personal, but when humans want answers, they tend to ask pretty hard.”

“Humans sound barbaric,” Rarity declared, as if one weren’t sitting across the table.

Shane smiled cheekily, “Oh I don’t know about that, barbaric is such an... opprobrious word. I prefer to think of it as... aggressive curiosity. Besides, barbarism is relative.”

“There is something I still don’t understand,” Twilight breached the growing silence. “How exactly did you come to learn Equestrian?”

The human finished chewing. “I didn’t. I’m speaking English. Apparently it’s the same, or at least similar enough, as whatever you’re speaking.”

“Does that not seem odd to you though?”

“Kid, I just crash landed in a parallel dimension of talking magic ponies. Nothing seems odd to me at this point.”

“It just doesn’t make sense,” she struggled.

He shrugged, “Get used to it. I have the distinct feeling that ‘sense’ is quickly becoming an infrequent occurrence. ”

The answer, or lack thereof, was highly unsatisfying.

Shane looked around the room. “So, I have a question.” Everypony looked up curiously. “What is the annual budget in Equestria for hair dye? It’s gotta be outrageous. Especially for Rainbow Sprinkles over there,” he pointed at Dash.

“It’s Dash! And I don’t dye my mane!” she defended, offended not only at the accusation but also that the human hadn’t remembered her name.

Applejack chuckled soundly.

“It actually grows in all... rainbow-ey?” He sounded skeptical.

“Yeah!” she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “You can’t fake awesomeness on this scale.” She brushed a hoof through her prismatic mane, and struck a pose. “I mean I AM the fastest, most talented, and all around awesome-est pony that ever existed. So naturally my mane would have to reflect that.”

Shane cocked an eyebrow.

Applejack chuckled louder, “Don’t ya’ll worry none. She get’s to be a might bit less irksome once ya get ta know her.”

Dash shot AJ a venomous look.

“... can’t wait,” Shane replied sarcastically. He popped the last bite of salad into his mouth. Something flicked across the corner of his eye and grabbed his attention: Celestia’s incorporeal mane. He watched Celestia’s wavy hair for several minutes. The ethereal mane blew towards him in some nonexistent breeze.

Without asking permission, he brazenly reached up and swished a hand through the vaporous coiffure. It reacted like a mane underwater. His hand did not pass through the gossamer threads, instead they flowed around it, apparently unlettered in the laws of gravity.

Celestia noticed the human. Twilight feared the princess would be angry with him for daring to touch the royal hairdo, but she wasn’t. In fact, it amused her greatly. She smiled like somepony watching a kitten play with a strand of yarn.

“Why does it do that?” he finally asked.

“The wavy thing?”

“Yeah.” By this point he had graduated from hand swooshing to full on arm flailing, attempting to impose some manner of reason upon the magical filaments.

“I like the wavy thing,” Celestia justified with a hint of witticism.

He finally managed to seize a lock of her billowing mane. He inspected the captured strands up close, seeing that her flowing locks indeed comprised of individual hairs. The slender and delicate gossamer strands blended when clumped together.

Celestia winced as he plucked out a strand of hair. Her guards immediately moved in to detain the human. They halted when Celestia held up a hoof and gestured them back to their posts.

Shane was oblivious, fascinated by the stolen strand. He held one end aloft to see if it would wave all on its own. He swished it a bit, attempting to jumpstart it to life. The stubborn strand, however, showed no sign of life. Highly dissatisfied, he discarded the long pink thread.

He leaned forward, turning toward Luna. “Why isn’t yours all wavy?”

Luna smiled and shook her silvery blue mane. The roots of the slender blue locks slowly changed, transforming before their eyes into the astral blue cloud that she often wore during special occasions. Soon her mane became a billowing, glittering representation of the night sky.

Shane’s jaw hung open. He even let out a soft “ooooh,” clearly amazed by the ethereal display. He wasn’t alone, the girls were also enraptured by the show; even Pinkie Pie had ceased devouring her hoard of various deserts.

Luna stuck her chin in the air haughtily, proud of the attention.

“Show-off,” Celestia teased under her breath.

“Green is an ugly color on you, dearest sister.” Shane found her response immensely entertaining.

Twilight hid a smile behind a purple hoof, unsure if she should openly show her mirth, after all, it was at the expense of a Princess.

Celestia however cracked a smile and laughed along, absolving the rest of the room to join in.

Luna stood, prompting the girls to do the same.

Shane continued to sit, looking around rapidly, realizing he had missed something.

Luna strode toward the door. She paused at the window for a moment, examining the sky as if searching for rainclouds. “If you will all excuse me for a brief moment. I must attend to my night.”

She finally exited through the door, leaving them behind. The girls retook their seats.

“... She’s attending who?” Shane asked, befuddled.

“OH yeah!” Pinkie Pie burst, before anypony could answer him. “I almost forgot to ask you. What does your cutie mark mean?”

The room turned to him, fascinated to hear how the human had earned his cutie mark, and also possibly learn his special talent.

“My what?”

“Your cutie mark!” Pinkie reasserted.

“What the hell is a cutie mark?” He was genuinely puzzled.

Now the girls were confused. Sure, there were species that did not share in the cutie mark heritage that ponies enjoyed. But he had a cutie mark. They had seen it. How could he not know of his own mark?

“You know... your cutie mark,” Rainbow tried to assist but she was struggling to find the right words to explain it.

“Duh, silly, your cutie mark! See?” Pinkie hopped her front hooves down onto the floor while leaving her rear hoofs up on the seat. The position left her rear sticking in the air. She pointed a hoof back to her flank at a trio of balloons. “This one is mine,” she stated obviously, before hopping back up onto her seat. “We saw yours while you were sleeping. It was totally in the wrong spot. It matches the picture on your shirt.” She gasped. “Is your talent bird watching?!”

He looked down at his blouse and the EGA stitched onto the left breast pocket. A glimmer of uncertain comprehension entered his eye. He pointed to his shoulder, directly in the center of the deltoid. “This?”

They nodded.

He chuckled, shrugging off the cammie blouse. His formerly clean bandages had several fresh crimson bloodstains, immediately setting off Fluttershy’s warning bells.

He gingerly peeled back the top layer of bandaging, revealing the dark blue mark. It was almost black. It depicted an eagle spreading its wings over a globe, superimposed over a slanted anchor. The eagle clutched a fluttering banner in its jaws. On it was written; SEMPER FIDELIS, in bold lettering. “That?” he pointed.

They nodded an affirmation.

He laughed at their ignorance. “It’s a tattoo.”

“Is that what humans call cutie marks?”

“Why do you keep saying that? No, taaatttooooo. The fuck is a cutie mark?”

“A cutie mark is the picture that appears on the flank of little fillies and colts when they discover their special talent,” Twilight tried to explain.

“They just appear?” he sounded skeptical.

“Mmm hmmm,” the group assured.

“How?”

“Magic,” Twilight disclosed simply.

He rolled his eyes. “Why do I get the feeling that is going to be the answer to anything you don’t feel like explaining?”

“So what does it meeeaaann?!” Pinkie Pie persisted.

He seemed confused by the question, “It’s just a tattoo, it the Eagle Globe and Anchor, it’s the Marine Corps symbol. It didn’t appear. I had to pay to get this done.”

“You... paid for your cutie mark?” Dash asked.

“It’s not a cutie mark! Stop calling it that! It’s a tattoo. I paid some guy to do this. They use a machine that shoots a needle into your skin and leaves a tiny bit of ink.”

The girls looked horrified; why anypony would willingly undergo such an awful sounding procedure was beyond them.

“That’s appalling! Why would you ever pay for such a beastly thing?!” Rarity demanded.

He snickered while struggling back into his blouse. His arms apparently giving him some trouble. “Because moto tattoos seem like such a great idea right after boot.”

The explanation did nothing to clarify the situation.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” Twilight asked.

“Pfff. If you’re a total pussy.”

Again Twilight was amazed by the archaic behaviors of this... advanced species. She silently wondered how they managed to advance so far if they were all busy mutilating themselves for show.

She shook her head, berating herself for allowing her thoughts to become so close minded. This one human was no more a representative of his species than she was of hers. Besides, who was she to question another culture? She of all ponies should know better. It was exactly that obstinate view that led to conflict in the first place. She was reminded, somewhat painfully of her first encounter with Zecora.

The sun finally sank behind the edge of the world, plunging the land into abject darkness. The brief moment where neither the sun nor the moon graced the sky. It was not to last, however. The soft silvery glow of the crescent moon peaked over the horizon, bathing the valley in its ghostly shine.

The rise of the moon seemed a bit more abrupt than Celestia recalled. She secretly wondered if Luna rushed the job. She made a note to confront the younger Princess about it later.

With the discussion of the human’s perverse cutie mark behind them the group delved into more tame conversations, mostly Dash questioning his diet.

“So none of you have ever had meat?” he queried.

They shook their heads, looking a bit ill at the prospect, namely Fluttershy.

“But... then, how can you have any pudding?!”

They all stared at him confused, while he grinned like an eel.

“... No? ... Nothing?” he folded his arms and slouched a bit, “... gay. None of you are going to understand my hilariously witty jokes and references.”

“Did ponies eat meat where you come from?” Twilight asked, getting back on track.

“No, well... not really. I mean, they aren’t supposed to.”

“So they aren’t suppose to... but they do anyway?”

“Not necessarily. As far as I know horses eat hay and oats, that’s it. But, I mean I’m sure it happens. Some horses are bred to be able to digest meat, like in high altitude places where grass is scarce. So yes and no. They naturally eat plants, but there are always exceptions. Like, this one time I saw a horse pick a bird off the ground and just ate it. Like... no shit. It just... ate the thing, alive. It was brutal.”

Fluttershy was about to be sick. She had absolutely nothing against carnivores. It was the natural order of the world that everything ate everything else. But this was wholly aberrant. She had to forcibly remind herself that the human ponies were not normal ponies. They couldn’t be held responsible for their actions. But ... still. The thought made her stomach twist.

Luna chose then to stride back into the room, laden with her saddlebags and a devilish look in her eye. Celestia could have sworn she heard the bags clinking slightly, warranting an explanation.

Luna strode up and took her place at the table next to her sister. Looking very proud of herself. She pulled forth two sleek, burgundy bottles.

Celestia identified them as fairly rare vintages of Equestrian icewine.

“Booze!” the human cried ecstatically, practically bouncing in his chair.

“Absolutely not!” Celestia insisted, maternally.

“Come on, Celestia,” Luna started to argue. “I’ve been saving it for a special occasion.”

“Even if I thought giving HIM alcohol was in ANY way a good idea, I would still say no.” By this point Shane looked somewhat heartbroken. “He JUST woke from a coma, and with all the blood he’s lost I must admit I’m surprised he’s walking at all. Another time perhaps, but not now.”

Luna was a bit disappointed, but she had to admit Celestia had a point. Although the more sinister part of her really wanted to see how it would behave with alcohol in its system.

“But I neeeed it!” he said attempting a swipe at the closest bottle.

Celestia managed to levitate it out of reach. “No you don’t.”

“Alcohol is good for humans!” he plied desperately, “It’s a vital part of the Marine Corps food pyramid.”

She wasn’t sure if he was teasing or not. “Your liver disagrees, Major.”

“How do you know what my liver likes? It’s MY liver.”

“I spent almost a week putting you back together. I know more about you than you do.” She fixed him with an authoritative stare. “No drinking.”

Shane slumped back down in his chair, looking thoroughly depressed. “Figures,” he deadpanned, “Right when I was considering starting to like you.”

Celestia ignored him. On the plus side, Luna had inadvertently stumbled upon yet another carrot that could be used on the human in lieu of the stick. Although ‘alcohol and sugar’ was hardly an arsenal of incentives, it was still more than the ‘nothing’ she had earlier this morning.

Pinkie trotted over with a large tray of cakes and pastries balanced inexplicably on her back. “Aw don’t be sad. Nopony is gonna be all grouch-erific while Pinkie Pie is around!” She twisted and arched her back, lifting to tray to offer the dessert.

He seemed to struggle for a moment. On one hoof, she knew the sugary treats were an veritable weak spot for him, but on the other, eating colorful pastries would directly conflict with the ‘angry human’ persona he had been so avidly clinging to. It is, in fact, rather difficult to look scary and mean whilst eating a cookie.

The battle was rather short lived, however. It was probably over before it began. He un-slouched a bit and selected a few baked goods for himself, doing his best not to smile while doing so. Although apparently that proved a bit too much as he cautiously took a bite of what looked like a brownie. His frown quickly melted away and sat chewing contentedly.

“Do you like it?” He nodded, making Pinkie beam enthusiastically

She began to bob up and down excitedly and began pushing ever increasing amounts of various desserts on the human. Of which he seemed all too accepting.

Twilight had to suppress the urge to tell Pinkie Pie to stop feeding the human junk food, hoping he possessed the capacity for self restraint before he made himself sick on the stuff.

“Poor thing, I can’t imagine living somewhere there’s no sugar!” Pinkie Pie pitied as she consumed several treats herself.

“We have sugar. It’s just expensive. I mean... why pay fifty times as much for real sugar when that synthetic kind ‘tastes the same’” he finished using air quotes which Twilight took to imply the synthetic sugar he spoke of did not, in fact, taste the same at all.

“Fake sugar?!” Pinkie questioned, horrified, “How do you fake sugar.”

He shrugged and did his best to describe the procedure required to chemically synthesize sugar. It was clear from the description he didn’t understand the process himself. A point which he made very clear by replacing many descriptive words with swears.

Luna was all too fascinated by the brief insight into human society. Whether he intended to or not, he had once again revealed quite a bit about his species and culture than was directly stated. His tiny story revealed they were apparently able to chemically ‘replicate’ various materials, including foods and possessed the technologies capable of creating and globally distributing them. He mentioned expenses and monetary value meaning they shared a similar understanding of economics. He implied that they had the option to choose which product to buy indicating the presence of free market.

As much as they were learning about the human, Celestia couldn’t help but notice he seemed rather uninterested in asking any serious questions about the universe in which he was now stranded. Celestia asked him about his apparent lack of curiosity.

He shrugged. “I picked up the important stuff.”

Celestia cocked an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve only been conscious for... what... a day and a half? And most of that has been spent in a cell. What could you have possibly learned of Equestria?”

“Quite a lot. You just have to pay attention.”

“Do share,” Celestia encouraged.

He inhaled deeply, ensuring he would have plenty of breath a long tirade. “Alright, I suppose this had to happen sooner or later.” He cleared his throat. “You... ponies ... for the most part are actually fairly similar to humans. You eat, sleep, talk, feel, etcetera. You are clearly capable of harnessing modern technologies like electronics and complex machines but you seem to... underutilize them for reasons I am still somewhat unclear on but which is probably attributed to ‘magic’,” he used his air quotes again, “An excellent example; you have relatively advanced electric power grids, and have a rather successful array of hydroelectric facilities and yet you-”

“Strange,” Luna interrupted, “I don’t recall mentioning our power grid.” Her tone slightly accusatory.

“We could see it from orbit. Scanners lit you up like a Christmas tree,” he panned, annoyed at having been interrupted, “Casual observation can speak volumes if you know how to look.”

“What exactly are you observing?” Luna prodded, somewhat patronizingly.

“Everything from the food on this table to color of the carpeting is telling me something about you. The cell itself, for example? The door was steel, not iron or bronze, steel. So let’s add metallurgy to your book of tricks. Consequently it’s safe to say you have some economic milieu in mining. The rivets that held it together looked like they were machined standard. Which tells me that you apparently have a factory somewhere that mass produces these rivets and therefore have the skilled laborers and machinery capable of doing so.

The equipment in the hospital room had several highly advanced electrical devices. Although since then I haven’t much in he ways of technology. But, again, I wasn’t accounting for... ‘magic’,” air quotes again, “so I’ll have to hammer that out later.

You left my sidearm in the room with me so you’re either overly trusting, to a dangerous degree, or you were merely ignorant of its purpose. Plus the fact that your boys are still rocking plate armor tells me you guys aren’t exactly leading the way in wartime technologies.”

As fascinating as this all was Luna found herself growing irritated by this human’s belittling critique.

“All leading me to the conclusion you all are apparently a rather... peaceful lot, possibly to a fault.”

“Peace a fault now?” Rarity challenged.

“In and of itself? No. But when it errs on the edge of stupidity, yes.” he countered with a notable amount of bite in his voice. “This whole situation is a testament to that. Your failure to do what was necessary could have cost you a lot of lives.”

“But it didn’t,” Luna said with a small smile.

“For all you knew I was going to wake up and go on a killing spree.”

“And you didn’t,” Luna pointed.

“That’s not the point,” he said irritated. “You couldn’t have known that. You had no idea what could have happened.”

He was beginning to sound irritatingly similar to Aegis.

“What woulda happened is you would’ve gotten your flank stomped into the ground,” Dash claimed hotly.

Luna interjected right as the human was about to make what was sure to be an equally heated offset. “It is usually at this point in the argument I would point out that we could spend an eternity fretting over what could have been. Dwelling in the past is a fruitless endeavor, Major. I would suggest you take leave of your own head for a moment, and instead try to focus your attention on what has happened. Relax knowing that we are all here, very much alive enough to have this lovely discussion. But if it puts your mind at ease then know this; we had no reason to suspect you would be hostile, nor did we wish to convey the wrong... diplomatic message by chaining you up like an animal.” He grumbled slightly but did not otherwise interrupt. “Our hopes rested mainly on the fact that a species possessing such advanced technologies would be intelligent enough to see the folly in attacking the ponies that saved his life.”

“... ‘saved’,” he repeated to himself bitterly.

“And in a sense we were right. Granted, you were a bit... stubborn in coming to terms with it.” Luna finished.

Celestia sat silently, deeply contemplative. It was several moments before she spoke again. “Major, I appreciate your concern for our safety but I assure you we are more capable then I think you give us credit for.”

He snorted, dismissively. Celestia couldn’t tell if it was out of irritation or amusement. He had an unusual habit of doing things without facially expressing the emotion that would normally accompany the action. It made deciphering his mood exceedingly difficult. “... try and stop me when I’m not playing nice and see what happens,” he groused to himself, defensively.

“... how was that ‘playing nice’?” Twilight questioned dubiously.

“You’re alive aren’t you?” he answered wryly.

“Point taken,” Twilight noted, eliciting a slightly proud grin from the human.

“You are a strange species,” Luna summed up.

“You know nothing of my species,” he pointed rather grimly.

“Well until you decide to start actually talking to us, you’ll have to excuse the sweeping generalizations.”

“Given my situation, I’d say I’ve been inordinately vocal.”

“You speak readily enough, yes, but you do not say anything,” Celestia curtailed.

He shook his head slightly as if the princess’ Delphic phrasing were a fly buzzing about his head. “What?”

“When you reply to our questions you are cryptic, vague, you dance around the point or make cynical elusory digressions.”

“You tend to ask for answers I can’t give,”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“... both.” He crossed his arms resolutely.

Celestia let out an exasperated sigh. “Major, we can not afford to continue playing this game. I take no joy in this, but sooner or later you will have to come to face the facts. You are alone now, Major. You are stranded here, whether you like it or not.”

“I like how she says it like I don’t already fucking know that,” he murmured angrily to nopony in particular.

“I know, you know it,” she established, “what I fail to understand is your lack of action on the matter. Your commitment to duty is impressive, commendable even. But you need to accept that things have changed. I’m sure you can appreciate that. This clearly isn’t something your government accounted for when giving you orders. You have to realize that continuing on with this stubborn selfish act does nothing but make our situation go from bad to worse!”

“What do you want me to do?!” he cried, slashing a hand through the air. “You want me to just... spill my guts and start rattling off government secrets? You want me to show you the mysteries of time and space? Well here’s a news-flash for you, princess; I DON’T KNOW THEM!”

Celestia hoped she hadn’t pushed too far. The human seemed dangerously close to losing control.

“I don’t know how I got here, and I don’t know how to get back! But let me tell you what I do know. You’re right, there is no... general order for this, but I have a pretty good idea what they’d tell me to do.” He let that hang ominously in the air for a moment.

“What, exactly would that be?” she eventually dared ask.

He stared at her coldly for a few seconds. “To put a bullet in my head and deprive the enemy of valuable intelligence,” he explained with frigid ease. “Despite my slightly differing agenda in doing so... we both know how it ended last time I tried that.” He cast a slightly angry glance at Luna.

“But we aren’t your enemy, Major,” Celestia assured sternly.

“You really think they give a fuck?!” he choked out with a humorless laugh.

“Every minute I’m alive is a liability. I know things, lady, scary things. Things that should not be made public, and as far as they’re concerned, I’m better off dead than risk being slowly tortured until I crack and start hemorrhaging information.”

Celestia mentally reeled, horrified that he thought she would ever consider doing anything so horrible. “We would never-”

“Save it. I don’t think you would. That’s not my biggest concern right now. The fact still remains that I have to fix this. I had my job and I failed. My new job is to set this right, and I. Will. Not. Fail. This one.”

“So let’s say you actually manage to do that. What then? What is your long term plan here, and where does it leave us?”

He took a shallow breath, “I don’t know yet. That depends a great deal on how cooperative you guys want to be. I still have a job to do and now it seems I am the only on left alive to do it. If you stay out of the way and let me finish what needs to be done then we will all get along just splendidly.”

“I get the irritating feeling that this plan may prove counter productive to our own interests,” Luna voiced her obvious concerns.

“Your interests are not my priority,” he came off somewhat irritated, “but provided no one does anything stupid, you have nothing to fear from me. I have no desire to see any innocent ... ponies harmed. I can appreciate that this is a delicate situation for you as well, and I am willing to... amend some protocols to account for that. But you have to understand that I have responsibility to my men and my Corps, and ultimately my allegiance lies with them. I just want our shit squared away so I can go.”

Celestia wasn’t entirely satisfied with the deal he was proposing. Ideally she would have liked to get his full cooperation. Although hoping he would immediately hop on board with her was a fool’s wish, and in truth she would have been slightly disappointed if he had.

“I can understand your concerns, Major. And I would never ask you to betray your kind. But if this is going to work, I’ll need your help. I may have to ask certain things of you, and I need you to trust me to make these calls. I am sure at times it will seem very strange to you, but you are in my world now. If you can agree to defer to my experience then we will be able to expedite this... exchange considerably.”

He stared at Celestia for a few moments, mentally examining the words for any potential traps. “I’ll do what I can. But I don’t answer to you. So long as your needs don’t conflict with my own then I am perfectly content with you taking the lead on this.”

Celestia smiled. It wasn’t much, but it was more than she had any right to hope for.

Luna piped up cheerily, “Marvelous! Now that we’re all such good friends, perhaps we could have desert?” she looked over at Shane’s monopoly of baked goods, “well... the rest of us at least.”

Pinkie Pie tittered, lightening the mood of the room considerably. It was a welcome change. Their conversations with the human usually fluctuated temperaments wildly, and it was good to be back on a semi civilized track.

The human sat back in his chair and idly ran his hands over the top of his cropped mane. He pressed a hand on his chin and twisted his neck over his shoulder producing a series of rapid pops as he cracked the vertebrae in his neck. The sound of cracking bones made Twilight’s spine shiver horridly. Her teeth seemed to itch, and the whole ordeal left her feeling sullied. She was barely aware of his hands trading places, apparently beginning to repeat the ritual in opposite.

“Please,” she started hoping to catch him. She did. And he shot her a curious glance. “Please don’t do that,” she begged, trying to remain sounding as pleasant as possible.

He cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Sorry. I just... hate that sound,” she explained hoping he would understand.

He shot a puff of amused air from his nostrils. He smirked slightly and held up his hands innocently and placed them gently on the table in front of him.

A streak of discolored skin on the back of his left hand caught Twilight’s attention. The scar was a sharp oval, perhaps an inch or so long. The healed tissue was depressed slightly. Several small dots lined the edges of the scar, where stitches had once held the incision closed. Twilight mentally weighed her options before venturing enough to ask what happened.

He looked down at the back of the hand Twilight indicated. He ran a finger over the scar. “Steak knife,” he breathed already clearly reminiscing on the incident.

Celestia was suddenly feeling very confident about her decision to remove the knives form the table preemptively.

“Knife would be the direct cause, but I was hoping for more of an explanation,” Twilight poked.

He smiled nostalgically. “Steak knife is all the explanation you’re going to get,” he asserted.

A bit disappointed Twilight was eager to pull him out a bit more. “What about those?” she indicated two smaller oval shaped scars on the knuckles of his first two fingers.

His smile widened, revealing a few of his carnivorous front teeth. “I got into a fistfight with a dumpster.”

The answer was so comically unexpected, Celestia couldn’t resist letting out a peal of laughter. He laugh was like the sound of soft morning bells. She wasn’t the only one either. Fluttershy and Rarity seemed to be the only ones able to contain their merriment behind a hoof.

“Are you being serious?” Luna was able to ask as soon as she had caught her breath. Infinitely amused by the though of the human exchanging blows with a treacherous waste receptacle.

“Unfortunately,” he said, smiling good naturedly.

“Well that there sounds like quite ah story,” Applejack encouraged, hoping for a few further details.

“Oh it is,” he assured the orange farm pony, “Unfortunately it’s not one I’ll be sharing any time soon.”

“Awww,” Pinkie deflated slightly.

Celestia was happy to see the group finally relaxing some, even though the topic of discussion was a bit macabre. He certainly had enough scars to keep the girls occupied for more than a few minutes.

“What’s that one from?” Dash asked eagerly from across the table.

“Which?”

Dash pointed to the same scar Twilight had noticed while he was unconscious in the hospital. A thin jagged line that ran parallel to the bottom of his right eyebrow.

He sighed deeply. “I tried to do a handstand on a grocery cart.”

“I take it you didn’t make it?” Twilight said slightly teasingly.

“No I made it. Perfect handstand... It was the dismount that got me.”

Twilight chuckled slightly. He wasn’t so bad when he wasn’t in that angry funk he had been dwelling in lately.

They asked about another on his ear, which he blamed on an accident involving something called a ‘car’.

“You got a lotta scars,” Pinkie summed up in between bites of cake.

He held his hand out in front of him and flexed his fingers, examining the appendages, “Dad would always say I came by em’ honestly,” he said wistfully.

Twilights ears perked immediately, seizing the piece of information with interest. ‘Did he just share something personal?’ she thought excitedly, holding as still as possible as if a sudden move would scare him away.

However he already seemed to be withdrawing into himself, as if self conscious of the little insight. Twilight even attempted to get him to expand on the subject, but it seemed he had revealed all he was willing to for the time being. She inwardly sighed, resigning herself to the long tedious road of relationship building.

The night progressed as normally as it could given the fact that they were dining with a trans-dimensional creature. They made idle conversation, mostly just the girls asking the human any series of small questions about his home and more notably the other species that inhabited it, and subsequently which of those species he considered food.

The human occasionally took a swipe at the bottles of wine, but other than that stayed relatively well in check. He answered the girl’s questions as they asked, so long as they kept the subject light. Anything too personal seemed to irritate him, so they were once again forced to abandon the line of interrogation. Dash very boldly prodded him with questions of his military exploits, to which he consistently responded with well rehearsed vague phrases to make it seem like he had given an answer when in fact he had merely entertained her with buzzwords. It was a tactic Celestia had resorted to several times when dealing with the multitude of ministers and advisors. It was a useful scheme, but all it ever seemed to do was buy some time, it never made the questions go away.

Celestia tuned back in to the conversation. Luna was busy trying to explain to the human why Equestria did not have any queen or king. Celestia was slightly bemused by the question. For all their similarities, it was the little cultural inconsistencies that fascinated Celestia.

The night wore on much more rapidly than Twilight usually remembered. She mentally berated herself for not bringing an ample supply of quills and scrolls. Twilight had learned enough about the human from the dinner to fill an encyclopedia. She took a moment to fantasize about the prospect. The more she thought the more certain she was that she planned to write a book about this human. It was the case study that every scientist, scholar, and philosopher would kill for. She began mentally arranging chapters by context, and relevance.

She snapped herself out of the daydream. He would most likely not even entertain the idea of letting her pump him for information so she could write a book. And the princess would almost certainly not allow her to publish it, secretive as this whole fiasco was... Still the idea was fun to imagine.

Twilight suppressed a yawn, realizing just how late it really was. The other girls looked tired as well, with the exception of Pinkie Pie. The pink mare appeared to have finally consumed her fill of sweets. Although she was still quite energetically participating in the conversation, wired as she was on all the sugar.

The human was apparently getting tired as well. If his expressions were anything to judge by, she sometimes had trouble identifying his mood. The differences in facial features weren’t even all that great, but the absence of normal pony ears and a tail made it surprisingly difficult. His usually stoic expression did nothing to help.

He shifted one of his arms on the table and something caught twilight’s eye. There was a small smear of crimson where his arm had been resting. She reached for one of his arms, aggravated he had not allowed any further medical attention to his arms despite the princess’ council.

He must have seen Twilight reaching towards him because he jerked away, shooting Twilight an alarmed/angry look. She mentally reminded herself she probably should have asked permission. She wasn’t used to dealing with such jumpy creatures.

“Let me see.” Twilight demanded, sounding slightly maternal.

The human looked down at the dark red stain on the white tablecloth. He reeled his arms close to him. “No,”

“You’re still bleeding!” she sounded irritated, as if she had caught him doing something wrong.

Fluttershy had begun moving as soon as the words left Twilight’s lips. She lifted herself into the air and began hovering over the table toward them to have a look for herself.

Shane caught the movement out of the corner of his eye. He beheld the yellow pegasus approaching and the colors drained from his face, his eyes paniced. He stood, knocking the chair to the ground, somehow snagging the tablecloth and sending a drinking glass shattering to the floor. He began backpedaling away from the table and the advancing pegasus.

Fluttershy stopped about halfway across the table upon seeing the reaction she stirred in the human. Her heart ached. Seeing the horror she induced in the creature made her feel like a monster.

“Whoa, easy,” Twilight approached very slowly, trying to quiet the panicking human, “Its okay. Calm down. She isn’t going to hurt you, remember?”

His eyes uncertainly flicked to Twilight before shooting back to the pegasus.

Celestia joined Twilight, offering soothing words. She waved Fluttershy back with a hoof, which seemed to calm the human down slightly. Although she doubted he would ever confess it, he was clearly terrified of the little pegasus.

Fluttershy backed away to a safer distance, tears already beginning to spill.

Shane was still watching her, stuck in a defensive stance. He didn’t seem to be responding to any of the counseling Celestia or Twilight offered. He continued to watch the winged yellow mare, strangely enough because he usually strove to avoid eye contact with Fluttershy at all costs.

“Major?” Celestia asked, cautiously placing a hoof on his shoulder.

He started, apparently surprised by the contact. He looked at Celestia blinking a few times apparently snapping out of his frightened little stupor. He shrugged off Celestia’s hoof, and she removed it without complaint. He looked over at Twilight who was eyeing him with concern.

He looked down at the small mess he had made escaping the approaching pegasus. Twilight could have sworn she saw guilt cross his face as he beheld the sight. As if he had been caught doing something embarrassing. Maybe he was self-conscious of his own overreaction. It seemed logical, given his obvious stern character; she doubted he would be easy for him to admit the timid yellow pegasus frightened him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was just... just...” Fluttershy was barely holding back a waterfall of tears. One of which spilled down her cheek preemptively. Rarity draped an arm over her shoulders dabbing a napkin at her cheek, doing her best to comfort the mare.

“It’s perfectly alright, darling. You haven’t done anything wrong,” she soothed,

“I’m sure you just startled him,” she made a note to shoot the human a slightly angry glare.

The corner of his lip curled back slightly, in apparent disgust of the tearful display of his nemesis.

“See? Just a misunderstanding,” Luna explained, hoping to diffuse the situation a little. “Please, come sit down like a civilized pony.”

He looked over at the moon princess and cocked an eyebrow at her.

“... human, whatever,” she corrected. “Stop being so paranoid, if we wished to harm you we would have done it already. We just want to take a look at your arms and see how the bandages are holding. Nothing more.”

He didn’t move, he just continued to stand there casting uncertain looks at the group.

Luna sighed, and levitated one of the bottles of wine. She gasped slightly, “Look what I’ve got!” The bottle bobbled suggestively in front of her. She noticed she suddenly had his full attention. She magically removed the cork with a resounding pop.

“Luna,” Celestia warned.

Luna ignored her. “You want it?” She sounded suspiciously like somepony trying to train a puppy. “You gotta come geeet iiiit.” She tempted in a melodic tune.

Shane’s eyes narrowed angrily.

Celestia closed her own eyes and rubbed a temple with a golden shod hoof. “Luna you can’t seriously expecting him to come running just because you dangled a treat in front of his face.” She turned back toward Shane, hoping to apologize for her sister’s rude behavior. “I mean he isn’t a d... ”

He was gone.

Celestia stared blankly at the empty space of floor that was previously occupied by the human. Celestia immediately swiveled her head back to Luna.

There he was, standing directly next to the beaming blue princess, his outer blouse lay discarded on the floor. The neck of the burgundy bottle of icewine was firmly clutched in his right fist, gulping the sweet alcohol. His left arm was stretched out in front of Luna, allowing her access to the limb as she began magically unwrap his bandages.

Celestia watched, too stunned to speak for a moment. A small part of her was wondering how he had managed to get out of his blouse and over there so quickly. “You’ve got to be kidding me...” was all she could think to say.

Shane looked at her out of the corner of his eye. He stopped drinking only long enough to say, “Don’t judge me,” before wrapping his lips back around the bottleneck, apparently doing his best to suck down the entire bottle in one go.

Celestia was trying desperately to suppress the headache that was growing behind her eyes.

“Wow... Look at him go,” Dash chuckled.

“Should we stop him?” Twilight whispered to Celestia.

Celestia knew they should but she found herself wholly unmotivated to do so. There was also that old dictum, something about taking away a dog’s bone and how it was usually a bad idea.

He finally stopped drinking; almost a fourth of the dessert wine was gone. He licked his teeth, looking highly content despite heavily watering eyes.

“Are you happy now?” Luna asked, with a soft smile.

“I’m more of a white wine kinda guy.” He shrugged and took another quick swig and clicked his tongue, “Not bad though.”

Luna finished unwrapping his arm, discarding the sullied bandaging. Several of the lacerations on his arms looked as though they had reopened multiple times. Fluttershy was right, they needed stitching. Since magical healing was too risky to attempt, they were most likely going to have to literally sew his skin back together. A slightly primitive procedure, but effective nonetheless. If they did nothing they would merely continue to tear open.

Luna tentatively pulled on the edge of a cut. A small trickle of blood began to fill the fleshy slash.

Luna removed the bandages on his other arm. His right arm wasn’t as bad as his left, but still required more than bandages to properly close the wounds.

Applejack whistled upon seeing the numerous gashes. “How in Equestria did ya manage ta do all that again?”

“I fell down,” he said simply.

“He jumped through a window,” Twilight explained, shooting him an annoyed look. To which he returned a toothy grin.

“That seems a tad... extreme, does it not?” Rarity chimed in.

“No. Go big or go home,” he offered as explanation.

“I thought’cha wanted ta git home.”

“It’s just an expressio- OW!” He jerked his arm away from Luna.

“Oh hush. I barely touched it,” She defended. He merely shook his head and took another healthy gulp of the bottle with his free arm. “These are going to need proper attention soon,” Luna continued, “I shall arrange one of our physicians to dress them tomorrow morning. They keep tearing open, and I won’t have you leaking all over my castle.”

“I hate doctors,” he sneered.

“Is there anything you don’t hate?”

“... no.”

Celestia was glad to see he was under control, but she couldn’t help but be slightly aggravated. Here she had been doing everything in her power to maintain as professionally political a relationship as possible with the human, which in turn achieved nothing. Then all Luna had to do was dangle a bottle of alcohol in front of him and she had him wrapped around her hoof. He was even willingly allowing Luna to touch him. If anypony else had tried that he would have most likely taken a swing at them. Some small part of her merely blamed the fact that Luna tended to grease the wheels of compliance with treats.

Celestia began to wonder if she had been taking the wrong approach all along. Perhaps Luna was right. Celestia had been treating him too much like a foreign dignitary. He was no diplomat, his lack of social graces made that painfully obvious. But Luna seemed to be treating him more like a pet. “No,” Celestia corrected herself, Luna was treating him as a familiar. She was not coddling him, as Celestia was. At first Celestia had pegged Luna’s behavior as belittling to the severity of the situation, which it may have been, but in doing so she was also calming the group down. She acted as though this were all a fun game. He was not a politician, he was a soldier, and probably more accustomed to the less formal avenues that Luna was succeeding with. Celestia made a note to rethink her strategies with him.

Luna was finishing up wrapping the human’s shredded arms when was a knock at the door, ceasing all conversation and jolting everypony’s attention. Celestia had been painfully clear she wasn’t to be disturbed. The shiny brass door knob slowly turned, as the intruder opened the door from the other side.

Celestia suppressed a sense of panic. She briefly considered stuffing Shane under the table, but she seriously doubted he would take that well.

The armored head of the guard commander poked through. Celestia let out the breath she had inadvertently been holding. She also gave the Commander a glare for scaring her in such a fashion.

“Highness, I... ” he paused and took a moment to look befuddled by what was surely a strange scene. Luna was bandaging a human who appeared to be doing his best to try and drown himself on land.

“Who’s that?” Shane leaned down and asked Luna in what must have been an attempt at a hushed tone.

“That’s Aegis. You’ve already met him several times.”

“Oh... they all look the same to me,” Shane, half saluted him with the bottle,

“Hey, buddy.”

Aegis was unamused, but otherwise did not respond, and instead continued, “... I apologize but I feel it’s my duty to inform you, that morning should be arriving shortly. If I may be as bold as to suggest that her majesties conclude any business with our guest. Some ponies may decide to return to the castle early, and it would behoove us to keep it away from any unwanted eyes.”

“Ha! ‘Behoove’... get it? ‘Be-Hoof”? It’s funny because you’re horses,” Shane chuckled as he sipped from the half-empty bottle.

“Ponies.” Luna corrected automatically.

“Whatever.”

Aegis was covering his amusement with a scowl of irritation, “Is he drunk?”

Shane snorted. “You’re adorable,” he laughed cynically, “bring me like... six more of these then we’ll talk.” he peered at the bottle a bit disappointedly.

Something Luna found incredibly interesting was his behavior around Aegis, or the guards. He never seemed particularly concerned around them. Short of Celestia or herself, they probably posed the biggest danger to him and yet he acted as if they were no threat at all. He was much more ill at ease in a room of young fillies than surrounded by an escort of hulking armored guards.

Luna wondered at the phenomenon. She supposed it made some sense. If he was a human warrior it seemed sensible that the guards would be the ones he identified most with. At least they were an enemy he could understand. He knew where he stood with them and he accepted it. There were no back alley politics or hidden agendas, amongst them. Or at least, not as far as he was concerned.

“Thank you, Commander. That will be all.” Celestia ordered.

Aegis bowed his head and retreated back through the door.

Celestia returned her attention to the group. “He’s right, girls. You should get some rest. Morning will be here soon and you need your sleep. Tomorrow you may do as you wish. Luna, the Major, and I have some business to attend after the sun sets.”

“Can we come?” Pinkie Pie asked excitedly. The group eagerly awaited her response.

Celestia was silent for a very brief moment. She glanced at the human who had lost any of his former happiness, “I’m not sure that would be wise, girls.”

“Pleeeeeeaaaaaassseee?”

Celestia sighed deeply. The girls did know what they were asking for. It was not going to be a fun errand, and the girls had been through enough lately. She supposed she could allow them to come, they'd certainly earned the right and she never intended to keep them in that dark about anything, but at the same time she couldn’t help but feel this was something that would be better handled in relative privacy. The human did not seem particularly emotional, but it was undoubtedly going to be difficult for him. She doubted a crowd would make it any easier. She looked over at him, hoping to gauge his reaction to the idea.

His face was just as expressionless as ever. His emotions hidden perfectly behind his mask of stern indifference. He offered no council other than to take another long drink from the bottle.

“Major?” she started after it became clear he was not going to answer her on his own.

He inclined his head slightly, “... It’s fine.” he answered, hardly above a whisper.

Celestia inspected him for a moment. She wondered if she had inadvertently maneuvered him into a corner.

“Yay!” Pinkie chirped, clopping her hooves together softly.

Celestia was not pleased with this turn of events. “Luna? Why don’t you take the Major for a quick tour before morning comes? I’ll join you after I see the girls off.”

Luna looked at Celestia suspiciously for a moment before picking up on what Celestia was playing at. She wanted to speak with the girls alone without implicating the human.

Luna nodded, “That seems a lovely idea. Come along, Major Doran. It would be an honor to show you my home.” Luna stood prompting Shane to do the same. He stopped and looked longingly at the bottle of wine he was leaving behind. He shot Luna a questioning look. “... you can bring the bottle,” she deadpanned, slightly amused.

He smiled and scooped up the half empty bottle of dessert wine. He made sure to follow Luna around the Fluttershy-less side of the table.

“Goodnight girls.” Luna chimed before two of the four guards opened the door for her.

The girls all stood for the departure of the Princess, and offered their farewells and goodnights to Luna and the departing human.

Luna returned them in kind and passed through the doorway.

Shane did not reply as formally, his only goodbye was, “Ladies.” and offering a backward wave as he followed Luna out the door, two guards following close behind.

Twilight scanned about the table at all her friends, each looking slightly more apprehensive than the last. They weren’t stupid, they knew something was amiss. Something was bothering Celestia and she wanted the human out of the way before she discussed it.

Rarity was the first to break the silence, “Princess, I do hope I am not overstepping my boundaries, but is there something you aren’t telling us?”

Celestia shifted to a slightly more comfortable position in her seat and refolded her wings before taking a deep breath and choosing her words. “It was never my intention to keep information from you. You seek answers and you are certainly within your rights to do so. I hesitate only because I am uncertain the answers are mine to give.”

“I apologize, your Highness, but I am afraid I don’t understand.”

Celestia sighed once more. She looked downward at the half finished dish in front of her before raising her head and speaking in a slightly dry tone. “With all the excitement it’s rather easy to forget, but Major Doran did not come here alone. Ten of his kind were killed in the crash, and he has requested to view them for himself. I assume he wishes to say his final goodbyes or gain some closure. We have offered to deal with the remains as he sees fit, but he has been rather insistent on personally attending the matter.”

Twilight felt a lead weight hit her stomach as she realized what they had invited themselves to. No wonder the Princess had been hesitant to allow them along.

“What should we do, Princess?” Twilight asked dreadfully.

“I am unfamiliar with human death rituals, if they even have any. I assumed he would have liked a measure of privacy, but I’m afraid you have already committed yourselves. He has said he would permit your attendance. For all we know he is honoring us by allowing us to take part, backing out now may offend him. My advice would be to attend, be respectful, and stay as quiet as possible unless he instructs you to do otherwise.”

The group contemplated their new predicament, but it seemed the princess was right, they couldn’t very well excuse themselves now.

Pinkie Pie took a more optimistic view on the situation. She was adamant that this was the best thing they could do. After all nopony should have to do something so sad all alone. “Friends shouldn’t let friends go through that without friends,” she had stated simply.

While her intentions were well placed, Twilight had the distinct feeling Shane was not the kind to appreciate any of the touchy feely ministrations the group may offer. And while they were not at present active enemies, she very much doubted he considered them his friends. One thing she knew for certain, they were in for another difficult day.

~~~~~

Celestia trotted briskly along the marbled hallway leading up to Luna’s tower-top suite. After seeing the girls to their rooms and bidding them goodnight she set off after Luna. It only took a second for Celestia to locate her sister with a quick magical ping.

It seemed the tour had concluded in Luna’s quarters. Celestia chuckled inwardly at the thought of little Luna eager to show her new friend her room. Celestia had to remind herself that Luna was older than almost every other pony currently living, but part of Celestia would always think of Luna as her baby sister.

The escort of royal guards stood outside Luna’s chamber door, mixed in with the usual cadre of night sentinels that traditionally protected the lunar princess. The groups had a somewhat... sordid past, and usually tended to avoid one another. Luckily they seemed to be blending fairly well. They were, after all, very well trained, and far too well disciplined to allow their differences to impede duty.

The armored stallions all parted, cleaving a clear path for the princess to the door. Celestia didn’t bother knocking. A small swish of he horn with a soft glow and the dark wood stained doors swung inward on heavy polished hinges, revealing the bedchambers of the night princess.

Celestia strode inside, glancing over the room and finding her sister sitting at a little table opposite the human. Luna was sitting proudly over the small table on which rested a crystal chess set; Luna had apparently somehow talked the human into playing.

The human himself sat on the other end he briefly flicked his attention to Celestia before returning his focus to the game. By the look on his face, he was taking his next move very seriously. He shifted around slightly, observing the board from different angles.

“Behold, dear sister. I have taught the human to play a civilized game.”

If Celestia could recall, the younger princess’ style of chess-play could be called anything but civil. ‘Vindictive’ would have been a slightly more appropriate description. As far as Celestia could recall, Luna had yet to lose a game.

Luna sighed impatiently. “Anytime now, Major.”

“Shut up, I’m thinking” he muttered without breaking concentration.

Celestia sympathized with the human. She had long since refused to ever play the wretched game with her sister again. Luna cheated, and Celestia knew so, even if she couldn’t prove it. She waited patiently to see if the human would fair any better against the board game depravities of her baby sister.

He rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands, forming a little pyramid with his fingers. He reached out and deftly scooted his only remaining bishop a few diagonal squares. He looked to Luna who was still wearing a hungry smile, as if the move was the very thing she needed to assure her victory.

Without skipping a beat Luna issued her counter move, and from the muttered swearing of the Major, Celestia gathered he wasn’t exactly in a commanding lead. Although, to his credit, he had managed to take far more of Luna’s pieces than Celestia normally did. That said, it was still a paltry sum in comparison to the number Luna had stacked up.

The human carefully placed another piece.

Luna inched a rook into place, “Checkmate!” she preened.

He pushed the board away distastefully, causing a few pieces to wobble and fall, while Luna merely beamed triumphantly.

“Do not feel too bad, Major,” she leaned down toward his head and said in a slightly hushed tone, “she cheats.”

“I figured that out about twenty moves ago.” he panned.

“Slander and lies.” Luna defended.

They spoke for a few moments about the plans for the next day. Due to obvious reasons, they decided that it would be wisest to plan most of their activities in the relative quiet of the night. Daytime was simply to risky due to the heightened levels of activity. Celestia understood the necessity but wished it could have been otherwise, for it meant she was only going to lose more of her precious allotted sleep time.

Luna tentatively re-approached the topic of his crew and what he wished done with them.

“I don’t know yet,” he admitted, “I don’t recall reading any excerpts on how to handle this particular scenario in the casualty procedure manual. Ideally speaking it would be my duty to get them all home, so we can lay them to rest on American soil. You know... No man left behind.” He became somewhat somber. “But then I wake up and remember... I’m probably never going to see my home again.”

“Do not abandon hope so readily. We will try, Major. We still might be able to get you back.” Celestia attempted to assure.

“Right, and I have the word ‘Naïve’ tattooed on my ass.”

“No you don’t,” Luna pointed out confused.

Shane rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger, “Wow, you should not know that.”

Celestia chuckled softly, “You found a way to get here, Major. We’ll find a way back. There has to be one.”

“I’ve been thinking about that, and there really doesn’t. Any of the physical laws we relied on, the laws we based our technology on, might not apply here. And let’s not forget that even if you could rebuild the fucked-to-death pile of burning scrap metal that used to be a ship, and get it working... I still wouldn’t know how to drive it home.” He sank into a contemplative silence.

Celestia considered him for a moment. He seemed to already be resigning himself to his fate. “You are simply going to quit then?” She challenged.

“No,” he rejected quietly, “never quit. But I also won’t waste my time fueling delusion.”

“I prefer to think of it as hope.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” he dismissed, “I have this mess to police up before I can even think about that. I’ll square away here, then leave... one way or another.”

She and Luna exchanged an uneasy looks. Disturbed by the finality with which he spoke.

He stood, taking them both by surprise. “If you don’t mind I would very much like to be returned to my cell,” he said coldly, bringing the conversation to an abrupt close. “Will one of you be escorting me? Or should I find my own way back?”

Celestia stood, “I suppose we’ll have to convince you to find real room soon.” The princess exited the room, Shane following without another word.

~~~~

Luna sat curled on the center of her lush bed, awaiting the return of her elder sister.

Celestia’s return was prompt to say the least. With her errand complete, the snow white alicorn slipped inside Luna’s chamber door. The second she was alone with her sister Celestia visibly deflated. Her shoulders sagged and she slumped down on a large sunken dais.

“You should sleep,” Luna noted quietly.

“There is too much to be done,” she mumbled. “I must raise the sun soon, and the courts will start to notice I keep disappearing without explanation.”

Luna watched her elder sister with concern, “You have remained awake for... what, three days? Go and raise your sun, but then come and rest, if only for a few hours. I shall and handle your nobles. They must learn that you are a princess, and not some terrier to be summoned at their whim.”

Celestia chuckled, “They mean well, Luna. They only wish to ensure that they each receive the attention they deserve. After all, a ruler who ignores the need of her subjects is not a ruler.”

“You give too much of yourself, sister,” Luna warned, “You only provide Equestria a disservice by running yourself ragged.”

“I know my limits,” Celestia defended.

“Do you?”

Celestia shot her sister an annoyed look, “You seem to forget, baby sister, that I ruled Equestria alone for the better part of one thousand years.”

Luna recoiled slightly, “Well you aren’t alone anymore. To continue to act as if you were is foolish. But you are not without your point. I will hold court in your stead, this morning, while you rest. I shall allow you to take over around noon. Then I might even sleep myself a bit, or perhaps I should take the human for a walk. I’m sure he’ll be cagey after spending the day in his cell,” Luna tapped her chin with a hoof, “we should really toss in something for him to play with. Or maybe put in some rocks for him to climb on.”

Celestia chuckled, fairly certain Luna was kidding, “You are certain you wouldn’t mind filling in for me a bit?” Celestia asked.

“Of course not,” Luna lifted her chin haughtily.

“Very well then. It seems the matter has already been decided. If you do let the human out of his cage, I would advise you to use caution should you decide to try and slip a leash on him.” She added teasingly.

Luna’s ears perked up slightly and her one eyebrow lifted toward Celestia at the thought.

“Luna, don’t you dare.” Celestia warned, recognizing the prankish look in Luna’s eyes. She was worried Luna might actually attempt to do it just to spite her.

“I was only joking,” Luna defended with a light laugh.

They shared a small laugh but the merriment was halfhearted and subdued.

Luna became somewhat serious. She mindlessly kneaded the sheets with shoeless blue hoof, “I am troubled, sister.”

It was slightly unlike Luna to be so forward with her emotions. Not that she was ever introverted, it was just unusual for her to be so direct.

“Wanna talk about it?” Celestia offered, casually.

Luna inhaled, “I fear we may have dug ourselves into a hole from which we can not climb out. I keep attempting to imagine a scenario in which this ends happily for everypony. But... try as I might, I can not.”

Celestia had shared similar thoughts.

Luna continued, “We barely contained the situation, Celestia, barely. Eventually we will have to go public. And when we do...?” Luna shook her head. “Do you realize what this could do to Equestria? To the world? Celestia... this could spark a war.”

“I know, Luna. I know. We will find a way to solve this. We are not without options.”

“The political backlash alone could be catastrophic,” Luna went on, “Ponies will start panicking.”

“They might not,” Celestia countered.

“Celestia, please. That you are not alone in this universe is hardly idle news. And to be honest, I do not believe it is something the average pony is ready to hear.”

“Luna, calm yourself. You worry about events that may never come to pass. We have a plan. Provided the human plays his part, we can still win this game. Do not give in to such dreadful thoughts.”

“Then I suppose the question becomes; will the beast cooperate?”

“It will take time, but he will eventually come around. He is merely being cautious of us. I would probably too, were I in his position. He doesn’t seem to know what to make of us, yet. One thing he does know, is that we are his best and only ticket home. And, for now, that has bought us his trust, fleeting as it is.”

“And what if we can’t send him home. He won’t stop, you know.” Celestia stopped and stared at Luna, “He’ll try again.”

Celestia sighed, deflating some, “I know.” The thought had been playing in the back of Celestia’s mind as well. She had been doing her best to avoid thinking about it.

“... well?” Luna prodded. “What are you going to do?”

“We will stop him, of course.” Celestia said immediately.

Luna was silent for a long painful moment, “Should we?”

Celestia froze, locking eyes with her midnight blue sibling, “Do you really think otherwise?”

“I don’t know,” Luna admitted, somewhat uncertainly, “is it really our choice to make, Celestia? The more I think about it the more I believe he is right; the odds of us being able to send him home are astronomic, to say the least. Can we really force him to stay? Can we force him to live?”

Celestia mulled over Luna’s argument, wondering at her slightly reversed position on this human’s life. Perhaps she had changed her views after seeing he was a being with a personality and emotions, blunt though they may be. She hated contemporary issues.

Luna continued, apparently anticipating Celestia’s train of thought, “Yes, I stopped him the first time, and justly so, he was not in his right mind, but if he makes a conscious informed decision... ” Luna trailed off.

For all her years, there were still some matters that never seemed to resolve themselves easily. Celestia did not have all the answers, and she would be the first to admit it.

“Even if we did make him stay, would you be able to live a life of abject solitude? How much loss can one take? He has already lost his friends, and for all we know he has left behind a family; a mother, a father, a mate, maybe even foals! Could you really live knowing you could never see them again? Would you want to?”

That gave Celestia some pause. She had never considered him to be the fatherly type, “I don’t know, Luna,” Celestia said, deflating. She was exhausted as it was and had little desire to reflect on such weighty issues. “Maybe you’re right, but none of this need be decided now. We still have time. Who knows, maybe we’ll find a way to send him back and everypony will be happy. Until then we have yet to get it straight from the human’s mouth. We don’t know for certain that he’s planning anything so drastic. He might just be venting. Either way he isn’t going to attempt anything soon. Of that I am certain. He might be brusque but he isn’t a fool. We have no choice but to wait and see.”

~~~~~

“Is toothpaste candy!?” the human demanded.

“You can’t keep using oral hygiene products as examples! Those are different! You don’t eat toothpaste!” Pinkie defended ferociously.

“You don’t eat bubblegum either, but that’s candy.”

“It’s different!!!”

Twilight plastered her ears against her head attempting to drown out the argument that had been growing steadily for the past ten minutes or so, and from the sound of it had been the subject of some controversy between the two for some time. When peppermint became such a hot button issue, Twilight had no idea, but the two seemed to never tire of debating its confectionary legitimacy.

The sun had just set, clearing the way for their little excursion. The remains of the other humans were sent to a private government research lab not terribly far from the castle. Unfortunately that still meant wandering into the open where any who cared to look out their window might catch a glimpse of the group. Still, not many went out after dark, a few with a penchant for the night, but they tended to stay on the more lively side of Canterlot where the younger ponies would frequent bars and nightclubs, the existence of which seemed to amuse the human to no end.

The path to the facility was a short one, however, and well out of the way of the night-life side of the city. The area was mostly offices and small businesses, all of which would be closed at this hour. If they moved briskly they would safe from any unwanted attention before anypony knew they were there.

“It’s common knowledge!”

“YOU’RE common knowledge!!!”

“OMYGOSH! Enough already!” Dash exclaimed, “You two have been arguing this stupid point for like... ever. Everypony knows peppermints aren’t candy.”

“HA!” Shane shouted victoriously at Pinkie Pie.

“What?” Applejack chimed in, suddenly interested. “A’ course peppermints r’ candy.”

“They are not!” Rainbow objected, vehemently. She landed in front of the farm pony in anoffensive stance, to which AJ responded in kind, matching her like an angry mirror.

“They are so! Why else would they sell em’ at candy stores.” Applejack pointed.

“Yeah!” Pinkie Pie agreed enthusiastically.

“I can’t believe you are all arguing like a bunch of ruffians over something so obviously unimportant,” Rarity chided, “Besides, a mint is obviously merely a means through which ponies cleanse the pallet, after dining,” she added with a slightly arrogant huff.

“... that counts toward my side,” Shane announced, pointing a finger at Rarity.

“I am not on anypony’s side,” Rarity rejected. “But if I were to take a stance on this pointless squabble, I would say that while peppermint may not be a candy per se. It is perfectly acceptable for it to be enjoyed as such. The sweet is in the eye of the beholder.”

“... still counts toward my side.”

“Technically ‘peppermint’ is just the hybrid byproduct of spearmint and water mint plants. Its naturally high levels of menthyl acetate, activates cold-sensitive receptors in the skin and mucosal tissues. Due to that high menthol content, it quickly came to be used from everything to culinary flavorings to soap to pesticides and even medicine.” Twilight reported, proudly flexing her pointless-knowledge-muscles.

The group ceased walking for a moment, all pausing to affix Twilight with a speechless stare.

“What,” Twilight asked lowering her ears at the sudden attention, “it was in the encyclopedia.”

“You read the encyclopedia?” the human asked in disbelief.

“Well not all at once, but I’ll occasionally pick it up if I want something light to pass the time.”

“... light?” he repeated again, still a slightly suspicious look in his eye. He turned to the rest of the group. Rainbow was facehoofing as if Twilight were embarrassing the whole group with her rampant nerdiness.

Applejack was chuckling softly. “You’ll get used to it, sugarcube. Books r’ kinda her thing.”

Shane shook his head, as if to shake off the whole scenario, “Alright then,” he sighed and continued walking, “... and don’t call me sugarcube.”

“Sure thing, honey-do,” Applejack teased.

“Sugarcube was fine,” he rectified, annoyed.

Celestia watched amusedly from a few feet behind the group. The darkened passages of the castle seemed a strange photo negative of their daytime counterparts. They were of course the same hallways and corridors, but in the cool veil of night they seemed to take on different personalities entirely. They were same, yet not. It was one of the brilliantly inexplicable truths of the divide, one of the beautiful mysteries of her art. She loved it. Day and night; balance in its most prominent form. She loved the emotion that eschewed linguistic precincts in favor of more primal sonorous chords that could never be truly understood.

She snapped back to reality, fearing she would lose herself in such cosmic thoughts. She mentally berated herself for allowing for such whimsicality when important matters demanded her full attention. Especially now.

Celestia had, by some miracle, managed to convince the bulk of their armored escorts to remain at the castle. She did not want a parade or soldiers marching through the city, even if the area would be mostly deserted. The less conspicuous their party, the better.

They decided to forgo front door, choosing instead to duck through the library to a much more subtle exit. They quickly reached the vast library, passing through aisles of shelving layered with row upon row of ancient tomes. The human stretched out an arm and brushed his fingers against the cool bindings of the books as they walked. Something about the action struck Celestia as slightly childlike giving the human a strange newfound sense of innocence. He promptly ruined the moment by making a few fairly derogatory remarks about ponies being able to read. It was probably his attempt at a joke, he did have a somewhat... depraved sense of humor after all, so Celestia let it slide without comment. Twilight didn’t seem to take the remark as well, shooting him an angry glare, which satirically seemed to do nothing but further amuse him.

They cautiously pushed through a set of unremarkable double doors, leading to the eastern courtyard. They dropped down a small flight of curved marble steps, which looked a pale blue in the shimmer of the moonlight.

The sudden change of atmosphere seemed to slap the casualness right out of the human, who suddenly became very tense, stepping out into the cool dark courtyard air. Celestia recalled that ever since his brief failed escape, it was the first time he had actually been outside in the open. His eyes immediately began eagerly scouring his surroundings.

They were led by the two sentinels down the short marbled stairway leading away from the library. A stone pathway cut across the courtyard. The courtyard was a large open expanse of grass, bisected with thin stone lanes leading various places.

The path they were on led them across the stretch of land and into the sprawling eastern gardens. Through which they could make their trek though Canterlot with much more subtlety.

The human was still scanning the horizon in little sectors, again and again. He even bothered to occasionally walk backwards, which was rather impressive given he only had two legs to balance himself on.

Rainbow Dash, apparently bored with walking, began to lazily flap her cyan wings. She slowly gained altitude as she circled the group occasionally executing a little flip or spin.

Celestia returned her attention to the earthbound group and noticed the human studiously tracking Rainbow Dash across the night sky with a small smile. Rainbow Dash certainly did not want for talent. She was indeed amusing to watch. Celestia had to imagine this would be doubly true for the human. If the ponies he was used to could neither talk nor fly, seeing them do both must prove a strange sight indeed.

Passing through the lavishly attended east garden took only a few short moments, as it was considerably smaller than its counterpart on the west side of the palace grounds, but the short walk seemed to wash away much of the sorrow that the little yellow pegasus had been visibly sulking in. She straightened up and hovered gently off the ground flitting from place to place, admiring nature in all its moonlight splendor. She occasionally would pass a little too close to the human who, without fail, would slowly inch away, shying to whichever side of the formation she was not currently occupying.

They finally reached the eastern gates. They were open, as they always were, so the ponies of Canterlot could have free access to the royal gardens. She knew many of the local business ponies enjoyed taking their lunch in the relative solitude the expanse of greenery offered from the hustle of the city.

They passed under the golden arch of the gateway. The shift from flowers and grass to stone and marble was a sudden one, and seemed to do nothing but further agitate the human, who now had a full circle of streets, alleys, windows, and rooftops, to worry about. What exactly he was expecting to happen, Celestia had no idea, but he seemed to be growing more apprehensive as the group progressed.

Fluttershy had rejoined the formation when they exited the gardens, prompting Shane to casually retreat behind Twilight and Applejack for the relative protection they might offer from the little pegasus.

Celestia moved closer, “Relax, Major. You seem tense.” It was a drastic understatement but she felt it better to downplay the situation.

His hand was resting on the side of his thigh as he walked, “I want my sidearm back,” he started simply, as his eyes continued to scan rooftops and alleyways.

Celestia repressed the urge to roll her eyes, “No,” she replied adamantly. “You running around with a weapon is the last thing we need.”

“Let me re-phrase,” he started with a warm smile, but suddenly became very serious when he continued, “Give me my gun back.” He stared directly into Celestia’s bright violaceous eyes, his own blue irises seeming dull and muted by comparison, but still filled with cold fire that served to accentuate the sincerity of his demand.

Celestia returned his stare without missing a step, “No,” she repeated softly, her tone indicating she had no intention of reversing her position. “I understand you are probably still a little wary of us but I can not afford to let you walk around with one of those things, blasting somepony every time you get excited.” He snorted distastefully, clearly not thinking much of Celestia at the moment. “You are just going to have to trust that you are in no danger, and even if you were, we are more than capable of protecting you.”

He laughed bitterly, “You think I’m fuckin’ retarded don’t you?”

It was a rhetorical question so Celestia didn’t even bother answering, worrying instead about the growing volume of his voice echoing off the buildings.

“You people are the biggest load of fucking hypocrites I have ever encountered in my life.”

“Lower your voice, Major,” Luna piped up as she trotted over to where he and her sister were walking, “Somepony might hear you and the last thing we need right now is more attention.”

“Oh I’m sorry. Am I placing you in a compromising position?” he answered with mock penitence, also not lowering his voice at all. “That must be very difficult for you. I mean, were I in your little horseshoes and I found myself responsible for some godless predator from another world, I can see how I wouldn’t want him making a big scene for all my innocent ponies to come see. It could make for a pretty nasty situation. After all, we couldn’t have him blowing the lid off this lovely little veil of ignorance I’ve woven for them.”

Celestia really didn’t like where he was taking this.

“I’m just sayin’ I can see how such a scenario would be uncomfortable for me, personally. Especially if he decided to go and start making demands in aforementioned precarious position. Denying him said demands in such a situation might not be the most prudent move.” He let his implied threat hang in the air for a few moments. He stopped walking, bringing the group to a halt. “I think if such a setting were to come to pass one might find it interesting how the balance of power... shifts.” He finished with an evil smile.

There were lead weights in her stomach. Celestia hated to admit but she should have seen this coming. She was supremely confident that, if he felt it necessary, he would have no trouble blowing the whistle on this whole operation, even if it meant dragging himself down with it. With the lessened number of guards and the sensitive environment, he was in the perfect position to start trouble. Ultimately she had little room to maneuver, he was giving them a pretty clear cut, ‘give me what I want or I bring this whole thing down around our heads’. At the same time she refused to return him his weapon. She was stuck.

There was a tacit thickness in the silence that carried the weight of his threats. He looked at Celestia and pursed his lips and rested his stretched his arms behind his back,

“... yup.” He nodded as if agreeing with himself, “Good thing that’s not happening, huh?” he grinned evilly, backing down.

Celestia let out her pent up breath, shooting him an extremely annoyed look even as a wave of relief washed over her. “Do you enjoy antagonizing me, Major?” Celestia rubbed the side of her temple with a hoof.

“Yes,” he admitted, “but I have my reasons. He leaned in closer so Celestia would have no trouble hearing him, “I’d like to point out that during my stay here I could have, at any point, really ruined your day had I chosen to. But I didn’t. You say I need to trust you? I’ve put up my end, Princess. Where is yours?” He let the question hang accusingly for a moment. “You demand my trust yet you offer none of your own. You say we’re on the same team yet I am routinely chained to the wall in a locked cell and placed under guard. You want me to trust you with my life when you won’t trust me with a fork? I’ve let you get away with shit other people would have died for. I have well exceeded the amount of trust any smart man would have placed in you.”

“What possible reason could you have to mistrust us?” Luna asked, slightly hurt, “We’ve done nothing but try to help you.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that. But that’s kinda my point. YOU told me that. Try to take a look from my position, if you can. Wake up after the fact and be told that everyone else is dead. Be told the ponies are your friends, and be told the only way your getting home is to cooperate. For all I really know; you fed them all the same bullshit story you're feeding me, about how they were the ‘only survivor’ and they should give up all their secrets with the very noble and promising dream of going home, then shot them in the back of the head and woke up the next guy.”

“Do you really think that?” Luna questioned, in a tone that Celestia had difficulty identifying.

He scrutinized the alicorn, as if reviewing all he knew of her and her species. Luna was probably the closest to him as far as size, but when she was on all fours, he still had to look down to make eye contact with her. “... No,” he admitted after a brief moment, “to be perfectly honest, I don’t think you guys have the balls to pull off something so devious.” Celestia was unsure if she should be complimented or not. “... but I’m keeping it within the realm of possibilities.”

Luna was disturbed that his mind had led him to such horrific scenarios, yet at the same time slightly amused by his imagination, grim though it may be. “So if you think we might be leading you to your death, why are you still here?” She chuckled humorlessly, “How do you know we aren’t leading you to the torture chamber?”

“I guess we’re gonna find out, aren’t we?” He returned her confused stare with a playful pat on the cheek, “S’go,” he turned and continued to walk, apparently eager to get to his possible demise.

The lunar princess was busy reeling at the gross amounts of his duplicity in the contact. But more concerned was she that he actually brought up a fairly good point. He was right; they had been unfairly leveling the playing field in their favor.

Luna trotted a bit faster, “We are not without reason, Major.” Luna attempted to mediate once she caught up with the human, “You are correct. We have been unfair to you thus far, and for that I apologize. You have to understand we acted only out of concern for the safety of our own subjects. You ask us to look at this from your perspective, I ask you to do the same. Whether it is intentional or not, you are a threat to us and our very way of life.”

“I understand,” he relented. “My treatment at your... hooves is not what irritates me.” Luna’s ears perked curiously, “What bothers me, is that you do so while preaching to me the importance of mutual trust, when you clearly have no intention of practicing it.” He continued walking as he spoke, fingers still drumming on the empty space on his thigh that was previously occupied by a holster. “Truthfully, you are being much more forgiving in this situation than I would.” Luna had assumed as much. “But let’s not pretend this is something it’s not. I know the score, princess. So spare me the campfire conviviality and save the PR for the crowd, I’m not buying it.”

“I am not trying to sell you anything, Major,” Luna said amusedly, “I am merely doing the best I can despite the circumstances.”

“That’s all anyone ever really can do,” he summed up neatly. “But I still want my gun back.”

“We’ll talk about that later.”

“That’s just politician speak for ‘fuck off’.” he complained.

“For what possible reason could you need a gun?” she asked. “I can’t have you going around killing ponies.”

“I don’t need the gun to kill you, you know,” he pointed out. “If anything you should want me to have the gun. At least that way you know you’d die relatively quick and painless.”

Luna sighed blew an azure lock of glittering mane away from her eye. “You are not strengthening my resolve to re-arm you, Major.”

“Just making sure you have an informed opinion.” He teased.

Celestia strode abreast of the two, “I feel it necessary to point out, Major, none of us are carrying weapons,” she noted, joining in on the conversation.

“You’re a seven foot tall magical pony and have a large spike growing the front of your face. Oh and also you can apparently fly. But I don’t want the gun because I plan on using it.” he retorted.

“Why want it then?” Celestia posed.

“It’s a comfort thing,” he relented, with a sigh. “How would you feel without your fancy hat or giant necklace?”

“Quite relieved, I should imagine.” Celestia chuckled, rolling her shoulders slightly, adjusting her royal regalia.

“Well I feel naked without it,” he paused and eyeballed the two princesses, “not that you people would understand the feeling.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Luna perked at the defamatory remark.

“Oh nothing,” he dismissed inconsequentially, “... I just guess modesty isn’t a trans-dimensional concept.”

“Ha! The human speaks of moralities as if he were some pillar of ethical righteousness. Hypocrisy indeed.” Luna retorted smartly.

“At least I’m wearing pants.”

Luna rolled her eyes and continued walking hoping to reach the building rather soon. The night was still young, but even so, Luna felt that the less time they spent in the open, the better.

“Are we there yet?” Dash complained circling lazily around the group.

“Close,” Celestia answered for her, “A few more blocks.” Celestia herself would admit she was eager to get off the streets. She couldn’t shake the eerie feeling of eyes upon them, despite the clearly vacant streets. Flashes of movement in darkened alleyways always seemed to her playing tricks on her, for when she turned to see they appeared quite empty. They could even hear the echoing of far off voices, bouncing through the streets. Most likely just a few ponies out on a stroll, enjoying each others company in the cool night air. Still the voices steeled her resolve to get out of the open as soon as possible.

The rows of office buildings and small businesses came to a rather sudden halt, revealing a large very plain looking building. If anypony had their guess it would have most likely resembled a large warehouse. It certainly looked nothing like a government facility. Apart from the lone guard standing watch outside the small metal door, one might not find anything unusual about the structure at all. It seemed more likely that it were full of plain shipping boxes than highly volatile government secrets. Then again that was kind of the idea. The best place to hide was often right in plain sight.

They crossed the small open lot to the front of the building. The two alicorns were impossible to misidentify, but still, the door remained firmly sealed until ponies on the other side were forewarned of their arrival.

As if by some unseen command, the guard bowed and removed himself from the princess’ path.

Celestia nodded her appreciation to the guard and strode up to the door, touching her glowing horn to cold steel. A sharp click could be heard as the door unlocked. The guard took the initiative of taking the knob in his teeth, and with some apparent strain pulled the door open for the princesses.

The now open passageway revealed merely a small, dimly lit stretch of hallway. It was an ominous scene. The hallway was dark, aside from a soft beam of light every dozen feet or so. The end of the hallway was a brightly lit white room.

Celestia looked back at the human to see if he was indeed still willing to follow through with the plan. “Major?” she asked, getting his attention.

“Ladies first,” Shane gestured at the door with spurious chivalry.

Celestia nodded, understanding his trepidation. She was the first to step inside, leaving the cool night behind.

~~~~~

Twilight didn’t like it in here. The air tasted wrong. It felt sterile, and dry. There was something horribly efficient about this place. Her hooves clicked softly upon the floor, but there was no audible echo that one might normally expect from a long hallway. It was as if any lingering sound were being absorbed into the walls themselves.

She quickened her pace, eager to free herself from the oppressive hallway. She found her place next to the human, who was just as eagerly following the princesses.

They emerged into what looked to be a small lobby. The walls were painted plain white. A few chairs were placed irregularly along the walls, giving it the feeling of a waiting room. There was a small desk, at which a receptionist would monitor the attendance of ponies that came and went. The desk was currently unattended, however, the receptionist had certainly gone home by now.

The princesses made their way through a second hallway, this one feeling much less oppressive. There were several doors lining the walls, most adorned with nothing more than a tiny gold circle inscribed with a number. They passed each one, paying them little mind. The rest of the building was just as immaculately clean as the front lobby. The walls all looked as if they had been painted just that morning.

The hallway led to a metal staircase, leading down several stories.

Shane stopped and peeked over the metal railing. Twilight appeared at his side to see for herself. The staircase reached down well into the bowels of the earth.

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” Shane mumbled to Twilight. She was unsure what to make of the quote, but apparently he did not expect a response, because he nudged her with an elbow before righting himself, “It’s not gettin’ any closer. Come on.”

Twilight’s mind began to wander during the descent down countless flights. The one thing she did notice is that the air seemed to be growing significantly colder, almost to an uncomfortable level. Soon Twilight thought she was able to see her own breath if she caught it in the right light.

They never reached the bottom. The princesses ushered them off the stairs through another set of doors. Twilight wondered how exactly the two alicorns knew where they were going, none of these floors or door were marked, or at least not in any way Twilight could recognize.

The doors led them into lab. White tile covered the floor, and the lower half of the ceiling. Several metal tables filled the room, all covered with an array of science-tastic appliances. It was freezing. Twilight found herself wishing she had brought a scarf.

The back wall of the room was adorned with a glass pane, through which could be seen several racks of white chemical filtration suits. The door leading to the room was painted up in vibrant black and yellow stripes.

A flash of movement in the window caught Twilight’s attention. One of the chemical suits was moving. It took her a split second to realize there was a pony inside. Twilight couldn’t get any decent look at her face. The suit covered her entire head, except for the clear visor across her eyes. She was a unicorn, Twilight could tell that much, and her eyes were a hard, crystalline purple.

Celestia moved to the window and tapped lightly on the glass.

That seemed to catch the pony’s attention. She turned and beheld the newly arrived group. She looked frantically at a clock that adorned the wall. Apparently she had lost track of the time. She moved quickly into a small chemical shower that sprayed the outside of her suit in smoky disinfectant gas.

Once the suit no longer harbored any unwanted germs, she made her way over to her side of the sealed, striped door.

A small hiss sounded as she opened the door to greet the princess and her guests.

The still fully suited pony stepped through the door, bowing to the Princesses. She righted herself, the headpiece of the suit glowed a shimmering purple, and lifting itself off the pony’s head.

She was a pale coated unicorn, with a long purple mane that flowed back around her head, streaks of soft grey shot through her locks. Twilight wondered at them, she still appeared quite young. Her horn appeared to have been filed to a point, a trend Twilight never fully understood.

“Hello, Ms. Haze.” Celestia offered warmly.

“Princess,” she bowed again, “I apologize. I misjudged the time. I did not expect you so soon.”

Celestia waved a hoof dismissively, “If anything I should be apologizing to you. Thank you again for staying so late. I’m sure you would rather be elsewhere.”

“Not at all, I would most likely be here anyway. This is quite exciting.” The young mare spoke with a slight accent. Twilight couldn’t place a hoof on it exactly, but she did not sound like she had been born in Equestria.

Celestia turned, “I’d like to introduce Ms. Amethyst Haze. She’s been spearheading our medical operations here for the past few weeks.”

Twilight’s ears perked at the name.

“Hi!” Pinkie Pie waved enthusiastically.

The pale pony nodded at the group, noticing the human for the first time. Her eyebrow cocked, “So it’s true then?” She moved toward the human, who eyed her cautiously, unsure what to make of this new pony, “You survived,” her voice was both amazed and detached. She took a step toward him in a slightly familiar way.

He took a step back, indicating that he was perfectly comfortable with their current distance.

She withdrew a bit, “Forgive me. The last time I saw you, you were... less whole,” she spoke with a hint of unpleasant nostalgia. “I am glad you survived. We haven’t received any updates down here for the past few days. I assumed you were dead.”

“I’m sorry for not sending word, but he has... kept us rather busy,” Celestia explained.

“I can imagine. It’s strange to see one up and moving,” she noted to Celestia absent mindedly, “I thought they would be slightly more awkward, having only the two legs, but they seem quite well balanced.”

“Ms. Haze, I do not mean to be rude, but we have a very limited amount of time. I believe you know why he is here.” Luna interjected.

She became slightly somber, looking at the human, who was busy displaying as little emotion as possible. He had his mask back on. “Yes,” she nodded sadly, “Of course. Please follow me.” Her words directed at Shane. She moved to the door she had come through, pushing it open with a bit of magic.

He followed at a few paces, Twilight went in directly behind him. Celestia and Luna were next, followed by the rest of the girls. The room was apparently just a staging area. There were several racks of chemical filtration suits, and two adjoining chemical showers.

On the last wall was a door, silver and decorated with countless flashy biohazard stickers and emergency procedure directions.

Amethyst Haze turned and began to speak, “They are in there. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to step under one of these nozzles. The spray should kill any germs you may have brought in with-”

*PPSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

The sound cut off Amethyst’s speech, drawing everypony’s attention. The human had completely ignored Amethyst and her spray, choosing instead to pop the hatch on the door himself.

“No!” she shouted, alarmed, “You can’t do that! Don’t go in there.” She was moving through the group very ready to detain the human herself before Luna held a wing to block her path, causing her to swear softly to herself. It was too late anyway. He was already moving through the door.

The rest of the girls seemed slightly stunned, unsure of what to do. Pinkie Pie had somehow managed to squeeze into a filtration suit when nopony was looking, pink tufts of mane poofed out from under the edges of the head cover.

Celestia moved inside after the human. She had little concern for germs, painfully immortal as she was, sickness often did nothing but prove to be horrible inconveniences.

The room was darker than the last and freezing cold, their breath producing swirling little clouds. The far wall as covered in what looked like several square refrigerator doors. This room was entirely white tile, even the ceiling, except for the occasional fluorescent light.

There was a single row of stainless steel tables. On each one was a long sheet of white plastic, covering something that greatly resembled the shape of motionless humans.

There were ten, each roughly similar in size. Celestia had seen them before, secretly hoping she wouldn’t have to again.

Shane was stopped dead in his tracks, a few paces into the room. His arms hung limply at his side, as he beheld the scene.

Celestia’s heart wrenched with shared sympathy.

He ran his hands through his cropped mane a few times before he laced his fingers behind his neck, apparently unsure what to do with them as he processed what his eyes were telling him.

“Jesus,” he breathed. He shook his head slowly, seeming suddenly annoyed. “You fuckin’ assholes,” he chastised the room of dead men.

Amethyst Haze finally came through the doors after them, followed closely by Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and the rest, all reeking of disinfectant.

They all stopped upon seeing the human, becoming very quiet and unassuming.

If he noticed the new arrivals, he showed no sign of it. He took a few halting steps toward the tables.

He came to the first. It was a fair bit larger than the others. With a deliberately slow movement he peeled back the white plastic covering the head. The dead human was the sickly grey pale color of death. The bulky dead man had jet black hair. Shane stared at him coldly for a few moments, before covering his face back up and moving to the next body. The next human was tall and had no hair on his head at all. He appeared much older than Shane, but Celestia could only speculate. Shane left this human’s head uncovered as he moved to the next, a man with a mane that was almost completely grey.

Shane moved down the line, taking less and less time identifying each one.

One in particular seemed to catch his attention though. It was a slightly more slender human. He was taller, sort of lanky. Shane swallowed hard and knelt down by the table. He looked over at the ponies all watching him carefully, before returning his attention to the corpse.

“I guess you win,” he said to the dead man. The words choked out barely above a whisper. Celestia had to strain to hear. Even as she did she felt slightly guilty. She felt like she was eavesdropping on private conversation. The human looked as if he suddenly remembered something important. He began frantically tapping all his pockets, searching for something. He stood, shuffling over to Celestia apprehensively.

His mouth looked like it was trying to form words, as if suddenly unsure how to communicate. He cleared his throat awkwardly, “... I need to borrow like fifty bucks,” he muttered, self-consciously.

Celestia took a moment to process the bizarre request, “What?”

He hung his head, embarrassed, “It’s from... before...” he attempted to explain clearly having a hard time of it, “I lost because he was right and... I never paid him. I can’t...”

“It’s alright, Major. I understand.” she lied, but she did not wish to see him suffer through the touchy explanation.

Rarity stepped forward, producing a shiny gold bit, “I’m afraid I’ve lost my human-equestrian exchange rate card.” she teased slightly.

The human gave her a sad half grin, as she levitated the bit into his hand. He turned the piece over on his palm, “Is this gold?” he asked flatly.

“Yes. Is it enough?”

He snorted as if the question were absurd. “... Yeah. It’s enough.” He stared at the gold coin intently, like it might vanish.

He turned and walked back to where his friend lay, exactly where he had left him.

Shane grabbed the man’s stiff arm, pressing the gold bit into his palm and closing the cold dead fingers around the yellow coin.

“There. Now you can rot in hell knowing I don’t owe you shit.”

Celestia decided that human friendship was a strange and complicated thing.

Shane placed a hand on the dead man’s forehead, and choked out a whisper, "Save me a seat, brother." He stood up and replaced the plastic covering over the body.

He continued down the line, identifying the remains of each of his fallen crewmates. Many were difficult to see, one in particular made Rarity step out of the room, he didn’t seem to care.

He reached the end of the row, stopping as if he had been stung. Celestia’s gut wrenched as she noticed what escaped her attention before.

There was an eleventh table. The stainless steel alter was barren. She felt like hiding. It was probably the worst possible way to add insult to injury, at the worst imaginable time. She prayed that he did not assume they had done it intentionally.

He took grave steps toward the table meant for him, placing a hand on the icy metal surface.

Celestia shot Amethyst Haze a pained questioning look.

Amethyst tucked her ears back, “We were told to expect eleven,” she offered quietly as explanation.

The human did not appear outwardly offended. He just seemed fascinated by the empty table. He turned and sat on it, swiveling on his rear until he lay lengthwise upon the cold steel rectangle. He checked on the corpse to his right, doing his best to imitate the same position the others were in, and stared at the ceiling.

He lay there for several moments, only the white cloud of icy vapor from his breath betraying life.

Celestia exchanged uneasy looks with her sister. The charade did not seem very healthy. Luna took the first few hesitant steps toward Shane who was too busy playing dead to really acknowledge her.

She came to his side, he continued to ignore her, apparently committed to the act. Luna nudged him on the shoulder with her muzzle. He swiveled his head to look at the alicorn. She offered him sad concerned smile.

He swallowed and nodded, “Yeah.” he said quietly without prompting. He sat up and turned, hopping off the table.

He took a deep breath and looked back at the man he left uncovered; the older bald human. He turned to the end of the room and made his way over to a countertop, which included several drawers. He popped open several, examining their contents as if searching for something.

“What are you doing?” Luna asked, carefully.

He stopped, and looked at the assembled ponies, before continuing to scour the contents of various drawers, “Everyone leave,” he ordered coldly.

“What?”

“Get out.” He answered, but not cruelly.

“Like... leave the room?” Twilight asked confused. “Why?”

He sighed, annoyed as he apparently found what he was looking for, “Stay if you want,” he offered as he pulled a silver scalpel from the drawer, “But it’s for your own sake that I strongly advise you to step out for this.” He walked over to the balding man that remained uncovered.

Celestia’s gut tightened and she turned and nodded to the group. Amethyst Haze began to usher the mares out of the room, looking none too happy about whatever Shane was planning.

Luna followed the group out as well.

Celestia stayed, earning a cocked eyebrow from Shane, “Your choice,” he muttered.

He placed the scalpel on the table next to the bald man. He hooked an arm under the corpse and flipped him over onto his stomach. He took a deep breath in through his nose and out his mouth.

He plucked the scalpel off the table and pressed the blade against the base of the bald man’s skull.

The polished silver razor cut through the dead man’s flesh with terrible ease. The corpse offered no sign of care.

Shane stopped cutting once he reached the back of the neck. The long score didn’t bleed. The corpse was too long dead.

Shane pulled on the edges of the incision before closing his eyes and taking another deep breath, mentally preparing himself. He stuck his thumb and index finger into the incision, probing for something Celestia did not know.

She was doing her best not to gag at the squelching sounds. In hindsight she was rather glad he told the girls to leave.

A muted snap came from the neck of the dead man, similar to that of a twig breaking, and Shane pulled out a small black square, no bigger than a shirt button, thickly covered in gore.

Celestia did not ask what the implanted square was. She was not entirely sure she wanted to know.

Shane dropped the scalpel, letting it fall to the steel table with a small clatter. He lifted the small black chip up to the light, holding as one might a robin’s egg; reverently, but firmly enough to ensure he would not drop it. He stared at it, uneasy determination in his eyes.

He walked quickly over to a small basin in the countertop. He turned a nozzle and water began to flow from the faucet. He rinsed the black square free of blood and tucked in his pocket, making sure to scrub his hands thoroughly, before flicking his wrists in an attempt to dry them. He eventually settled on wiping them on his trousers. He made sure to cover the man back up with his plastic sheet. Before making for the door next to which stood Celestia.

He paused by the white alicorn, took one brief look over his shoulder, then straightened himself, “Burn em.”

He pushed through the door and exited the room without a backward glance.

~~~~~

Author's Note:

I’d like to take a bit of this time to answer some of the most common emails I get.

~~~

~“How often do you post chapters? When will the next one be ready?”~

- I do not have a set schedule for the release of chapters. Sorry but my schedule is dictated to me. I have little say in it. I work on the chapters whenever I have some free time but that’s few and far between.

~“How far into the future is this set?”~

- I have yet to pick an actual date for my fic. It is set in the near future. No more than 50 years. No less than 20. But idk. This is just my headcanon for my own story. You can pretend it’s whatever you want.

~“Are you working with KKat on a side story?”~

- I hate to break it to you guys but I haven't heard anything from Kkat in a few months.
She mentioned maybe wanting to write a side story of A2.
Haven't really heard from her since.
I know (...she's?) super busy, She probably just lost interest. Which is cool.
I barely have time to handle my own stuff much less write with other authors.
Regardless there will always be a spot for her here if she ever has time, I'd love to get the chance to work with her.

Also I apologize to anyone who emailed me a question and did not receive and answer. That usually means that your question is something I am going to cover in later chapters.

...and to whoever keeps sending me emails in russian or whatever.....I STILL don’t speak Russian. Please stop emailing me in Russian.

Comments

[Lolzbolz]

sweet mother of celestia you took your time with this one. at least its long enough that it was worth the wait

[UseFistNotMouth]

Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee! UPDATE!

[Sahara]

UPDAAATE!!!!! YAY

[Meliron]

OH MAH GAWD UPDATE! AND IT'S 25K WORDS!

Been waiting for this for a long time...

[EXbronymaster]

five months no update? FINALY

this chapter was SO AWESOME

[CaptainSnowman]

So worth the wait!

[JarOfHearts]

YESSSS

[Heidao]

Yaay new chapter!!! *starts to read

[TheEnemyCube]

I see a Left 4 dead reference here! "I hate doctors!" "Is there anything you don't hate?" "...No." Go francis!

[Muppetz]

579853
well done

[501st Party Brigade]

Big chapter is BIG!!!!
And also Каждый пост в России

[Hivemind]

Glad to read the chapter over again! (Again)

[Jolting8]

Praise the lord!

3.bp.blogspot.com/_U8zcGkh5dHs/TDPPREu123I/AAAAAAAACL0/D2V7u09133U/s1600/P4030049.JPG

IT'S UPDATED!

[Poodicus]

“So none of you have ever had meat?” he queried.
They shook their heads, looking a bit ill at the prospect, namely Fluttershy.
“But... then, how can you have any pudding?!”

You sir, have made me die of laughter.

[The Specialist]

dear lord....it updated.

[gforce]

I discovered this fic of yours only recently, but am i greatly impressed and left wanting for more. I wish you luck and safety on your training marine, as i hope to be in that position myself sometime in the future.

[Deathpony]

good chapter really good

[RazgrizS57]

*looks at notifications*
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4592-1335646717814.png

*about ten minutes into this*
How long is this chapter?
*checks*
>mfw
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4670-Derpy_Hooves_-_super_adorable_cute_filly_animated.gif

NO REGRETS

[Faust]

:| well well well well well well well. What do we have here!

[Eultima]

HOLY BUCK. 24K+!?!?!?!?!?
~READING!!!!

[CommandoDude]

I guess if ARTICLE II can update with 5 month wait, than Equestria Total War can too.

I thought this was dead though.

[law abiding pony]

Ahhh, you missed a perfectly good L4D reverence.

"Is there anything you don't hate?"

"vests"

[TheScribbler]

My face when I saw an update: (That's right, I briefly transformed into Pinkie)
Fuckin' shit, bro, this is good stuff. I really wish you could update quicker, but military life and all that. Let us know how that goes.

[UseFistNotMouth]

Ffffffffffffffffff OMG this was so good, like so good you don't even know how good. That good. Like, Rainbow dash would do this if she read this:
3.bp.blogspot.com/-fVwHY5FBLQU/Ty6E7AeaojI/AAAAAAAAdxk/Bb_wtfeABZ0/s1600/125350+-+animated+bed+bedroom+books+duplicate+leg_wiggle+rainbow_dash+reading+Read_It_And_Weep.gif

There are a few unnecessarily bolded words here and there, probably artifacts from editing. Also:

“Well, usually it entails you following us to a room other than a prison cell, where we proceed eat food.”

should be a "to" after "proceed".

The hallway was vacant, save two ponies walking in the opposite direction.

I think that should be "walking in the same direction" or "walking away from them".

They decided to forgo front door,

missing a "the"

“... and don’t call me sugarcube.”
“Sure thing, honey-do,” Applejack teased.
“Sugarcube was fine,” he rectified, annoyed.

http://youtu.be/T7eZqotsYjI

[RandomPerson]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!

[The Gargoyle]

Holy Shit an update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait to read it

Edit: AND its really fuckin long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST DAY EVER!

[Wind Whistler is love]

HOLY HECK IT FINALLY UPDATED! I cannot contain my ! And oh, it's a long one! This is going to be so awesome!

[kingtiger666]

s16.postimage.org/4zrpi6503/1238048579531.jpg

[Zero Moment]

I really wasn't expecting for this to update so soon after I had finished it.

I am pleasantly surprised.

[Tundara]

This was worth the wait in every way.

The line about how it is hard to look tough while eating cookies made me think of Sten from Dragon Age.

[Happy Thoughts]

YaaaaaaaaY! An update! COOOOOOOOOL! Muppetz, come back soon with even more AWESOME ideas for Article 2! '

If you manage to write the next chapter before you leave, that would be fantastic. If not, that's OK too. All I kindly ask is: don't forget about us!

[User name]

This was so good! This is the best human in equestria fic.
Now, you're going to war? Don't you die !

[Dogman15]

"the main banquet hall was far too large, had too many windows, and was much too conspicuous." - I think you bolded the wrong words. Didn't you mean to bold "too" and "much"?

"The human gingerly picked out a bright red cherry tomato. Everypony watched him intently," That's an odd two letters to bold.

"“Um... what was that for?” Dash dared to ask, confused." More odd bolding.

“Poor thing, I can’t imagine living somewhere [where] there’s no sugar!” (A "[]" represents a missing word.)

“How do you fake sugar.” <- That needs to be italicized.

therefore have the skilled laborers and machinery capable of doing so.[paragraph break]
(There needs to be a beginning quote here.) "The equipment in the hospital room..." In fact, when one person is speaking in multiple paragraphs, every new paragraph starts with a quotation mark, but there are no closing quotation marks until the speaker is all finished.

"Although since then I haven’t [seen] much in [t]he ways of technology."

"...and now it seems I am the only on[e] left alive to do it."

A bit disappointed[,] Twilight was eager...

"He shifted one of his arms on the table and something caught twilight’s eye." Capitalize Twilight's name.

"paniced" is misspelled. It should be "panicked".

"Hey, buddy." Yeah, he's drunk now.

Oh my gosh. Shane vs. Luna in chess. This is awesome.

Every time I start a new section, I get really happy because it means the "chapter" isn't over yet. I guess this page is deceptive in length because when I loaded it, there weren't a lot of comments? I don't know, because I'm typing this review (in Notepad) as I read, and I don't even know how much of the chapter I've read yet.

"Rainbow Dash certainly did not want for talent." - that sentence doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I'm just being dense here. Did you mean "wait for talent"?

"Luna sighed [and] blew an azure lock of glittering mane away from her eye."

And wow! There were only two comments when I loaded this page earlier this evening! I wonder how many there are now.

[splinter17]

>this fic
>updating
IMPOSSIBRU!
Good to see you back man.

[DustTraveller]

Hey man, just thought I'd drop a line and let you know, this is friggin' awesome. Served in the US Navy for nine years, knew quite a few marines in my time, and I find it intensely amusing that I generally know how he's going to react in a given situation. At times I was concerned he was coming across as a little too smart for a jarhead, but then I remembered he was an Officer than thus doesn't have to work for a living. Heh.

Dialogue is snappy and spot on. Made me laugh quite a few times. The stuff with Fluttershy is heartbreaking but understandable, considering their history. In particular I liked the little details... like the idea that human facial expressions are difficult to read because their ears and such are less expressive. I'll admit I'm probably gonna steal that for my own stuff, since it is a neat little detail I really appreciated.

If anything, the impression that I get is that he basically likes Luna for her sense of humor, but has picked Celestia as the real power in the situation. He seems to be watching her reactions to things and tailoring his reactions specifically to antagonize her, which is really amusing, but also a good tactical move, since that sort of passive aggression is the only form of resistance that he really has. Resist in any way you can and all that.

The thing at the end of the chapter with the stuff he pulled out of his comrade... interesting. Figure it's just some sort of locator or something, but the importance he placed on it is almost suggestive of another science fiction writer. I'm curious if you're going the Richard K. Morgan Altered Carbon route with it... was it perhaps a cortical stack? Admittedly that's probably far in advance of the suggested timeline you were going for, but it was a neat detail nonetheless.

Thanks for writing. Stay safe.

[vulpixel]

Article 2 updated!
Its 24K words long

So glad to see an update. Good luck on your IRL stuff, make sure to comeback twice the badflank. I will be patiently awaiting more awesome that is your story.

[Gypsy]

Another few months til another update, riiiiiight

[Northwest Brony]

I like how there's about 50 words after 'that's all folks.'

[redskin122004]

For whatever reason, i enjoyed the scenes where fluttershy got treated like shit.
Don't look at me like that.
I said stop.
......
God damnit.....

[SirGoldfish]

thank you for this chapter, this story is getting even better now that stuff is starting to happen

[Squarepony]

Awesome! ARTICLE II updated!
Best HiE story of all time!(and there are ALOT of HiE stories out there)
More exclamation marks!

!

[Bloodpool]

Well, it took a while, but it finaly got updated!

[Tom2rules]

Awsome update!!!

This was just a fantastic update! I love how hilarious you'vs made this despite being in such a serious situation. Also, the interactions Shane has with Pinkie and Luna are just great.

I may be said that a three month gap in updates is coming, this was still fantasitc.

[StatusQo]

finally a update and a good one at that.

[billbob12345]

Well fuck me silly, it updated

[Ek Vitki]

Sweet mother of Odin it updated

[Crispy]

Yes! Awesome! Thank you!

[Hecatia]

Finally. Thank you and good luck on your duty!

[Menelaus Redz]

Hurray an update! Boo that it might be another 3 months before the next one. But hey, I felt it was worth the wait and I'm sure that if it does turn up to be more than 3 months until the next update, it will also be worth the wait.

Best of luck to you in the active duty training.

[Thaylien]

580265

Ah, sorry, that was me actually. Hi, I'm one of his emergency editors since one of the regulars wasn't available. The bolding was where I'd corrected something and he missed it when finalising the changes. I'm surprised that it isn't still blue too, because that's the other marker, bold and blue for corrections