Well, That Stinks.

by Nugget27

I Want a Pet Foal Now

So, after getting that piece of paper, telling me to go work in a daycare for a day, I walked right up to a building, which was apparently a daycare. How would you take care of the day? I don’t know. My escorts whispered behind me as I sat on my rump, wondering how I should greet the day carer. After a few moments of sitting there, I stood up, walked up to the door and started beating it with my head. After a couple of head bangs, the door clicked open, and an old mare stuck her head out of the door. “C-changeling-” I pulled up my work form that I didn’t fill out or make myself. Why did I even have this? One of my guards gave it to me and I simply didn’t question it, that’s why.

“I’m here to work here for a day, since your coworker took the day off.” I said calmly. “So what’s a daycare?”

“This… is a work form directly from Princess Celestia…” The mare looked it over, looked up at me, and looked at my guards. “Are you two here to make sure he doesn’t hurt anypony?”

“No, we’re here to make sure nopony hurts him. Surprisingly, this changeling is harmless,” oh, my guards were mares. I should’ve been able to smell that, but I chose not to pay attention to that. I cocked my head sideways, before spinning around to lick the guard that spoke, directly on the nose. My guard paused for a moment, before blushing slightly. “A-and really friendly,” my guard shook her head. “He won’t hurt anypony from what I can gather.” The guard got up close to me. “If you’re free later-”

“You can use me as a pillow,” I offered.

“That… will do.” Hopefully Luna won’t catch us; my guard looks fluffy. The mare, who I think owns the daycare, blinked a couple of times, before shrugging.

“Well, I could use the extra hooves anyways, so welcome to the team… for a day,” she looked down at the clipboard. “You will be working with our foals that are under eight years old, is that a problem, Mr… Stinky?” I nodded. “Well, right this way.”

---

You know, there is a position in the Hive that every drone takes turns doing, which is taking care of nymphs, or baby changelings. Nymphs are really cute, little spawns of Tirek that will bite your ankles, that every drone cannot help but love. Myself included, because once you tire out a nymph, they are super cuddly, and really friendly. Now, pony nymphs, or foals as you call them… are way easier to work with. You see, they’re energetic, but they won’t bite your ankles like a nymph would, instead, they cry and whine. Luckily, you holding them to your side and hugging them cheers them up.

I was currently holding a filly, a unicorn, who was now giggling and playing with my hoof, which I had turned into a set of keys. Don’t look at me; I asked the guards what would’ve kept this foal’s attention, and they said keys. When I asked them what the heck keys are, they showed me some; ponies and their dumb, stupid objects. Oh well, I get to hold a pony nymph now. “You are the cutest thing I have ever seen,” I chuckled as the filly eventually forgot my hoof and started hugging my nose. If it weren’t illegal, I would take this filly home with me; she is so darn sweet that it’s giving me a toothache.

“You’re the coolest pony I’ve ever seen, Mr. Stinky! I want to turn my hooves into other things like a bear paw!” You see, after playing with a whole room of foals by turning into a swing set, a slide, and various other things, I was assigned one specific filly. A filly that had a really bad ability to stay focused. Luckily, I also have that problem, so we mesh well together. Her name was Soft Breeze, which sounded oddly similar to Harmonic Breeze’s name, or my maid. They even look almost exactly the same, except Soft was a filly. Other than that, the same mane color, both were unicorns, and they have the same eye color. “Your eyes look a little funny.”

‘That’s because I used to eat colored pencils,” I said plainly. “Don’t be like me, don’t eat writing utensils.” Soft giggled some more, before she happily hopped off my nose, before running off.

Soft Breeze turned around and bowed. “C’mon! I bet you can’t catch me!” I was engulfed in green fire, and was suddenly the same size as the filly. We played until it was nap time. By the time she had fallen asleep in my forelegs, I was already coming up with plans to take the filly with me without anypony noticing… only to sigh; that would probably land me in a cell in the Everfree forest, with no food, while the cage that I would find myself in, would also be on fire.

I could go to an orphanage and borrow a filly or colt… permanently, without permission. I want a pet filly or colt. I’ll ask the Princesses if I can get a pet filly or colt.

---

As the sun set, ponies, mares and stallions alike, would stop by to pick up their pet foal up and go on their way home. I usually got a few glares, a slur or two, and a few stink eyes. I didn’t care, I had Soft sleeping on my back, waiting for her mother to come pick her up. I eagerly watched the door, hoping to finally get this filly to her proper owner; it’s only fair, after all. I’ll be a little sad, because I don’t think I will be allowed to take care of another filly for a while, or any pony nymphs for that matter, but sadness is a constant in the Hive.

And fear, mostly fear.

“You know,” the headmare, or the mare that gave me the job to begin with, sat beside me, nudging me with a wing. “You do a good job at taking care of foals,” she chuckled. “To think, a changeling of all creatures, is better at taking care of foals than some parents.” She sighed with a small smile. “If you are in the neighborhood,” she actually neighed for that by the way. “And you want to help watch foals again, I’ll let you. You were efficient at feeding time, spent more than plenty of time with the foals who demanded the extra attention. And…” She nodded to the filly sleeping on my back. “She likes you and even asked if you’d be coming back to play with her again.”

“I get to play with pony nymphs again- I mean foals?”

“Whenever you’d like! They all loved you!” The mare nuzzled me. “And I quite like you as well.”

---

Luna watched from her seat, staring at the crystal ball. “That mare best keeps her hooves to herself. Can Stinky stop accidentally obtaining the attraction of multiple mares? First one of his guards, and then the headmare of the daycare on Neigh Street?” She grumbled.

Princess Luna ‘neighed’ when saying ‘Neigh Street’.

“Sister, Stinky is a free changeling, you know.” Celestia snorted. “Besides, he likes watching your flanks. Just go ahead and tell him you want to be his mate; he probably smells it off of you, and probably can feel what you feel…” Celestia, Mare of the Morn, went on vacation, now it was just Celly, Lulu’s Older Sister on the job. “Why are you so enamoured by him anyways? His flanks? His muscles? He is quite fit, afterall. Perhaps it’s Stinky’s big, cute, expressive eyes?”

“...Remember when I had a hard time getting accepted by our subjects before the Nightmare?” Luna asked. Celestia nodded, taking on a more serious outlook on her little sister. “Well, when I first met Stinky, and I was about to cut his head off, he said something about being accepted. That… ‘hit close to home’, sister. On top of that, Stinky has an odd charm to him, add on all the things you mentioned… What is it like dating a changeling, you’ve dated one before, after all.”

“It was… magnificent, to say the least. While I was blissfully unaware of what he was, that drone was the sweetest thing, always making sure my happiness came first. One day I got sick, and tried to keep working anyway; I was then strapped to my bed while my changeling scolded me for trying to push myself. After I relented, it was a day of cuddling, and me getting three meals, that he cooked himself, in bed. It was… nice.” Celestia chuckled. “And judging from Mr. Stinky’s performance, if you two have foals, he will be excellent with them. I wonder how long it’ll take him to realize who Soft Breeze’s mother is.”

---

So, Soft’s mother never showed up, so I was told the address of where her mother lived. It happened to be on ‘Royal Road’ for some reason. I was given a map of the city, and something to help secure the sleeping filly on my back. I waved goodbye to the headmare, before going on my way. Occasionally, as in all the time, a pony would walk by and do a double take of me. What a sight I must make? A changeling, undisguised, being guarded by two Royal Guards, and with a filly on my back. I waved to a couple ponies on the way like nothing was wrong, because nothing was wrong.

After all, if something was wrong, I’d be in a dungeon by now.

At some point, Soft woke up, sleepily looking around. “Mr. Stinky…” She yawned. “Where’s Mommy? And why am I riding on your back?” She rested her head on the back of my neck.

“We got a message from your mother, according to the headmare, and that she was really busy with something at the moment. She did request that you be brought home, which is apparently a common occurrence…” Please don’t shoot me for relaying a message. “I’ll have you home soon!” Oh, a pony with a knife came out of the alleyway. It was a mare, who looked about ready to try and rob me, until she realized what the buck I was. “Oh,” I lifted Soft off of my back, and levitated her to a guard. “Please hold Soft Breeze for me; I don’t want to accidentally knock her off my back.” I turned to the mare before me. “Please go away.”

“C-changelings? They… They’re still in Canterlot! AHHH!” The mare threw her knife to the side and started running while screaming bloody murder the whole way. Wow, she followed my request and did it so politely too!

“Hey!” I yelled back. “There’s only one changeling in Canterlot, and that’s me!” I turned around and plucked Soft off of my guard’s back, before placing her on mine again. “Off we go!”

---

Huh. Royal Road was the same road that had the entirety of Canterlot Castle on it. I walked right in, because I had a pardon or something that basically meant I had free roam of the castle. Apparently nopony officially gave it out, they just thought I was sleeping with Luna. Considering I do use her as a pillow quite often, and cuddle with her even more before I go to sleep, yeah, I do sleep with her. The receptionist looked up at me. “Here to drop off Soft Breeze?” The receptionist asked.

“Yeah-”

“Stinky, that's where you are? You go missing for bucking days! Where the-” Mrs. Breeze got right up in my face. Then she suddenly stopped on her little tirade of my existence, because changelings are stupid. Was now nose and nose with me, getting ready to keep yelling, before a certain unicorn woke up again and peeked around the back of my head. You know, they smell the same, almost like mother and daughter… Oh. “Why do you have my foal?” Breeze asked quietly.

“I was working at her daycare for the day. I got more stupid gold coins that I don’t need, and I got to play with a bunch of pony nymphs. Your foal included! It was a win-win, in my… What are those leathery things with pages in them? Anyways, I was told to bring her home, so I did. This is your daughter?” I did a complete 180 with my head, without breaking my neck, before grabbing Soft by the scruff of her neck. “Here you go, Mrs. Breeze. You have a wonderful daughter; she didn’t try to eat my legs, my heart, and my soul like nymphs do.” Breeze looked up at me. “What?”

Soft reached out to me with her forelegs, in a cute little manner, that would’ve burnt my heart to a crisp if that was still in my body. “Hey Mommy, if you work for this pony, can you let me play with him on occasion?” She sleepily asked.

---

So for the next week, Soft Breeze was left in my room. She played, slept, ate, and pretty much did everything in my room with my supervision. She was a sweet little thing, always asking me about something before doing it, or asking a question I couldn’t answer, but gave a dumb little answer. “So where do trains come from?” Soft asked, tilting her head. Now, I don’t know where trains come from, but I would hazard a guess.

“God.”

And that’s how my week was, I got a pet filly, and my maid was actually okay with me owning her filly. Okay, not really, I didn’t bring the topic up, but Mrs. Breeze was happily allowing me to play and take care of Soft if I had nothing to do, as I did it for free. And that meant all my maid had to do was bring food in for me and Soft, since I stopped asking her for things. Mostly because after the gumstick incident, it just seemed like a bad idea to ask her for things. Right now, it was Soft’s nap time, and she was laying under my wing, having turned into a pegasus at her request; her dad was a pegasus and would often do this little thing for her. As in allow his daughter to use his wing as a blanket.

Harmonic Breeze sat across from me, while still in uniform, on a cushion across from me. “You know,” she said, breaking the silence. “That is something I’m surprised about,” she gave me a warm smile. “She asked you of all ponies about-”

“I’m not a pony,” I said while cocking my head. “Or am I? I forget sometimes.”

“...It’s a force of habit, Stinky. It shows how well behaved and civil you are; I sometimes forget that I’m serving a changeling most of the time when I’m dealing with you…” She sighed. “I just haven’t seen anypony hold my daughter like that since my husband passed away.” Oh. “I sometimes ponder on what life would be like if he were still alive, but sometimes, I don’t regret what happened.”

“Your mate is… Dead?” Breeze nodded. “Oh dear Chrysalis…” I returned my head to its natural shape, and dragged my maid under my wing. “Noling and nopony should have to experience losing their mate as early as you have, Mrs. Breeze.” Now my maid was blushing under my wing. “Do you need to cry on my shoulder? I’m more than willing to do so-”

“N-no, this is more than enough, Stinky.”

“Take your clothes off?” I said.

“Oh? You wish to sleep with me as well? I thought you’d be satisfied with the Princesses!” I cocked my head.

“No? We aren’t going to fall asleep together, not on this cushion, there isn’t enough room, and it’s not cramped enough. While you are serving me, don’t wear your uniform; you’re my friend, not my employee.”

“...yessir.” Breeze’s horn lit up, and her uniform disappeared. “Better, your highness?” I nodded. “Also, you do understand what sleeping with me means, right?”

“No, no I don’t. Everypony asks how Luna is in bed, and I just say she’s soft. They snicker and walk off shortly afterwards.”

“Do you know what intercourse is?” It is a good thing that your daughter is asleep, Breeze, that’s very inappropriate.

“I know what that is, why?”

“Everypony thinks you’ve already ‘mated’ with Luna, and are suspecting you’re mating with Celestia as well. Almost nopony truly has seen Celestia nuzzle another out in public, and she does it to you while you’re helping her in daycourt.”

“...Oh. I would like to have Luna or Celestia as a mate; they’re quite fun to be around. And after spending enough time with them… Yeah, they’re just mares, very friendly, fun mares to hangout with. I doubt they’d want to date something like me, though. So I’m just happily existing until either they get tired of me and throw me out, or until I find something I want to do in my free time. I may go visit Ponyville again and check in on Bob, maybe actually check in on my coworkers and my old boss while I’m at it. Then I can…” I hummed. “Why are you still blushing?”

“If a pegasus takes you under their wing, literally, like you are right now, it’s very intimate and usually means they want you as a mate. You don’t know, because you’re a changeling, but this is… You wouldn’t mind marrying me if I asked, would you?”

“No, you’re the second prettiest mare I know. Luna is first, and Celestia is third… Mostly because Queen Chrysalis the Friendly and Motherly, conditioned every changeling into thinking that Celestia will bring doom upon every changeling, so I’m still working over the fact that she isn’t scary if you don’t eat her cake.” I learnt that the hard way… I was tickled for an hour straight after I got into some cake I found in a minifridge hidden underneath the dining hall table. Also all six mares that are staying in the castle to plan a wedding out, all of them were really pretty, even if they were kinda weird, or scary in Twilight’s case.

“O-oh.” Breeze giggled. “Well, I won’t stand in the way of you attempting to court Luna, but if things do not work out, would you court me instead?”

“...I’ll give a relationship between us a shot. I think Soft would like it if we did date.”

“Mommy and Stinky sitting in a tree-” Speaking of a certain filly, who should be napping right now, we decided then and there to torture Soft with tickling her for ten minutes straight. It was glorious.

Comments

[RandomCommentor]

So wholesome that it has more holes than an unreformed changeling.

[TheVirtuousOne]

Stinky being his socially awkward and oblivious self is hilarious! I love the fact ponies have to tell him all the social nuances, so he understands what they're implying but not saying. I'd kill for the ability to know how your partner feels at any opportunity, it would make relationships a whole lot easier, having autism sucks cause interpreting emotions is hard....

[Theresa hall]

11701798
Tell try being under the autsic umbrella with pdd. And schools rarely want to make an effort in patience with kids with disabilities. Even if the worst they have to deal with is getting their feelings hurt. Schools are teaching people to be too sensitive. People are going hurt you sometimes and I always say cry your heart out then pull up your big boy pants and move on because sometimes there is nothing you can do Change anything and trying to force it only makes it worse.

[FoxyLove]

The Drama of being Stinky's mate intensifies!!!

Who will be Lead Mare?

[Moonlight_Mist]

11701797
That, good sir would be 'holesome', which isn't a word but if it was a word it would describe swiss cheese and probably an antonym of 'wholesome'.

[f0st3r21]

Aw~!!

Luna, better get the lead out and make a move.

[NexusZero66]

That was really sweet and cute at the end. I have nothing against Luna getting Stinky, but I kind of more rooting for Breeze especially now with the appearance of her adorable daughter

[ProtoFluff]

I could go to an orphanage and borrow a filly or colt… permanently, without permission. I want a pet filly or colt. I’ll ask the Princesses if I can get a pet filly or colt.

Oh boy! I love surprise adoption!

[1993 first gen astro]

Where do trains come from... GOD
I totally agree with this statement