Chapter 23: The Solid Tornado
“Locating my sister should not be too difficult at this point,” Luna muttered to herself, not looking at anything in particular. The group had gathered around a campfire for the night. The king had stayed, offering his heat when needed. The desert was freezing at night; the burning sand had quickly cooled in the absence of the sun.
“Um, wouldn’t she need air if she’s in the ocean?” Shyfrost asked her.
She smirked. “Even without access to her magic, I’m sure my sister has figured something out. Not to mention the fact that killing is not Discord’s way. She will be found alive and well, I am sure of it.” She paused. “Well, alive at any rate,” she added quietly.
“What about Dee?” Twilight asked. “We don’t know anything about her.”
She sighed. “True, but I did not perish. I have faith Celestia will be fine.”
Shyfrost had his doubts--after all, ponies did not have gills--but he nodded in agreement as well. “So how do we find her?”
“I should be able to trace her magical signature, it is quite easy to do. I am quite exhausted so physically searching is, for now, out of the question. However, I still may be able to do something…” Her voice trailed off.
Twilight looked away from them, up towards what she knew was Canterlot Castle in the distance. The place was shrouded in storm clouds that occasionally lit up the place. Of course, being the desert, the castle was quite a ways away. “What do you think is happening in Canterlot?” she wondered out loud.
Luna snorted. “Chaos, no doubt. Buildings being torn from the ground and twisted upside down. Ponies being mentally transformed and good friends becoming bitter enemies…” She trailed off when she realized that the youngest members of their group looked more horrified than interested. “But, I have no doubt it is all reversible,” she finished hopefully.
“It was before,” Twilight concurred.
The rest of Twilight’s friends could sense her bitterness and felt it was best to remain silent for a while. With no new plans or nothing else to do for now, some of the other members started talking with each other.
Scootaloo took a seat next to Rainbow. She looked back and saw Sweetie and Apple Bloom talking with Spike, so she figured she was in the clear. Rainbow didn’t look at her immediately, so she scooted closer. “Hey,” she said.
“Hey, kid.”
“Hmm, you know I don’t have to stay at your place.” Rainbow tensed up, but said nothing. “It’s not that big of a deal, I already live on my own anyway, and...”
“Kid…” Rainbow interrupted, but then her voice trailed off as she thought of how best to phrase this. “Blaze, I’m not going to leave you on your own. But it’s not going to be how you think.” Blaze tilted her head. “I mean, I barely know you. Also, it’s not like I’d choose for you to stay at my place by choice…” As expected, the filly’s ears folded down in shame; however, she yelped when Dash took her hoof and brought her closer to her side. “That doesn’t mean we can't get to know each other, though, and that doesn’t mean I’m upset or mad at ya.” Blaze looked up curiously, and Rainbow grinned. “I just have to figure a few things out. It’s gonna be rough, but it doesn’t meant I don’t like you. I mean c’mon, a time traveling filly is pretty rad!”
“Dimensional… time… whatever it is, you’re right!”
Rainbow giggled. “Yeah, it is.”
Blaze hesitated but quickly nuzzled her face into Rainbow’s chest. Rainbow rolled her eyes and then ruffled the filly’s mane. This isn’t that bad… Rainbow thought.
“So, how does your magic work, Spike?”
Spike looked up from one of the scrolls he had been reading to face Sweetie. “It’s harder than I thought it would be, you have to memorize runes and sometimes prepare a ritual I think…or something.”
“What about you, Shyfrost? Can ya do magic?” Apple Bloom poked him on the back, his only response was to shake his head and shrug.
Boredom quickly set in. The two fillies sighed and tried to occupy themselves with some casual chat.
“Princess Luna? What are you doing?” Rarity had noticed the mare was casting some kind of spell.
“I am tracing magical particles in the air, trying to find my sister’s magical disturbance among them throughout Equestria’s current.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow at her choice of words. “Disturbance?”
“Yes. I am surprised my sister never taught you how we… work. Our connection to the moon and sun keeps our lifespan infinitely longer than most mortals.We are not immortal, but close enough. The magic in Equestria’s air does not affect us like it does most living animals; rather, we affect it. We disturb it, in a way. You could argue we add a touch of disharmony to it. We still call upon magic as any other unicorn, but even without utilizing magic we are constantly disturbing the magical current that is Equestria.”
Twilight soaked in all that information. That didn’t sound too unbelievable. “So you're simply looking for disturbances?”
“Correct, w- I am scanning for them as we speak, using my own moon as an instrument.”
“Because it orbits us… that’s brilliant!” Twilight gushed. “Think of the possibilities…”
Luna chuckled. Her sister’s explanation on her student seemed quite accurate; she loved new concepts and ideas. She could almost see the ideas and plans going through Twilight's mind regarding her moon.
Suddenly the alicorn’s horn pulsed, releasing a blinding force of magic and then died out. Luna’s eyes widened. “I found her… in Ponyville.”
The group stood on Ponyville lake. The water was too cloudy to see anything, though Luna insisted she could sense her sister down below. Applejack frowned at the dark blurry surface.
“Ah gotta say, that lake there is pretty deep. Does anypony have any magic spells that can help us get to her?”
“Now that you mention it, I had been meaning to research spells that let you breathe underwater; but I just never got around to it,” Twilight admitted sadly.
“While that is regrettable, there are other ways,” Luna said, then turned around to face Rainbow Dash.
“Uh, you could swim down there for her?” Rainbow guessed.
Luna immediately blushed and looked away. “That will not work. I do need to breathe, after all.”
Twilight looked to her and frowned. “How did you survive the moon for so long? Uh, not to bring up bad memories or anything.”
Luna smiled. “Believe it or not, our moon does have a atmosphere. My sister is different, though.”
Rainbow and Twilight looked at her, having their doubts on that. Then Twilight paused. Now that she thought about it, she had never seen Celestia pant before… She shuddered at the implications and set them aside. She cleared her throat. “Well, what can pegasi do that lets them collect a large amount of water?”
Rainbow’s eyes glazed over for just a moment. Luna almost lost her patience and was about to simply blurt it out, but Rainbow beat her to it. “We can make a tornado!”
“Ye- wait. What?” Spike scratched his head. How would that help?
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “We can use some pegasus ponies to build a tornado and siphon out the water in the lake.”
“With just you?” Twilight asked.
“Hay, no! It would take at least a dozen pegasus ponies, maybe more to do this lake…” Rainbow trailed off and sighed. “I don’t even think it would work. Even if we could, we wouldn’t be able to maintain it long enough to rescue her.”
The griffon of the group stepped up. “It has been a while since school, but I take it you pegasus ponies manipulate the water into a tornado that is meant to siphon it into the clouds?”
“Yeah…”
“And there would be a center, an opening in the middle like any tornado?” When Rainbow nodded, he continued. “Perhaps it could be frozen then.”
All eyes shot to Shyfrost, who was busy munching on some pearls. His eyes were closed and when he realized that they were talking about him, they snapped open and he nearly choked. “What?”
“Rainbow, where do we find more pegasus ponies? Ponyville isn’t exactly chock-full of them, and neither is Canterlot,” Twilight said, remembering the evacuation from before.
“Cloudsdale, of course! But it could take a few hours to get there.”
“Guys! Look!”
They all followed Spike’s claw and each creature had trouble understanding what they were looking at. Giant pink clouds, or pink fog to be more specific, had begun to loom over the town. Upon closer inspection, they started to not look like normal clouds, they had specific shapes. It was Cloudsdale.
“Uh, never mind on the hours there…” Rainbow murmured. She squinted her eyes and focused on a few sets of clouds. “Something’s off here.”
“You mean other than the fact that the clouds are pink?” Spike deadpanned.
“Yeah… They’re drifting like nopony is controlling the city.” She then jumped straight into the air and began to flap her wings.
“Rainbow! Where are you going?!” Twilight’s eyes bulged out in panic.
“Relax. I just want to check things out. I’ll be back before you know it!” She saluted and didn’t wait for any response; however, as she was ascending they heard her shout out. “Watch the kid!”
Twilight furrowed her brow and looked over towards Scootaloo. The filly gave her a nervous smile and started to back away towards her friends.
The unicorn shook her head and turned to Princess Luna. “What do you make of this?”
Princess Luna seemed to have the uncanny ability to remain stoic no matter what transpired. “We shall wait for her return. I am sure she is simply scouting ahead.”
They all nodded and soon ten minutes had passed. After twenty, it had started to get to the Crusaders, and finally after twenty five, one of them snapped. “She’s not coming back!” Scootaloo shouted and looked to be on the verge of tears, though she quickly shut her eyes tight. Her friends quickly joined her to try and calm her down some.
Garret had been watching the clouds for the past three minutes without blinking, Twilight watched and studied him. She had read before that they often hunted for fish and smaller animals, so it would make sense that he could spot things quite literally from a mile away.
“Do you see something?” Garret turned his gaze to meet Twilight and then firmly nodded.
“A… pony is stuck in the clouds, I think.”
“Stuck? Stuck how?”
“I haven’t a clue, but that’s what I see.” He shrugged.
Twilight squinted her eyes and then quickly nodded. “I think I see them. It’s a tiny speck sticking out of the clouds. Maybe I can grab it with my magic…” Figuring there was no point in not trying, she closed her eyes and concentrated. While it was generally speaking a bad idea to mix magic and clouds if you didn’t know what you were doing, Twilight felt confident that she did. At least she thought she did, until pretty soon she had to forcefully pull herself away from the spell. She cancelled out her magic with a huff and sighed. “That was weird… it was almost like the spell was getting stuck on the cloud, but that shouldn’t be possible.”
“I have no doubt this has to do with Discord. Many things become possible when he is involved. Negating logic, you could say, is his special talent.”
Twilight nodded at Luna. He often made no sense. That being said, she had noticed that his actions from earlier seemed quite more calculating. He didn’t want to lose this time around.
“Well, now what do we do? Are a bunch of ponies stuck up there?” Sweetie Belle asked, then she squinted her eyes too and began to sniff a bit. “Is that cotton candy?”
“Did somepony say candy?! Where?!” Pinkie had been busy helping Spike look through his new scrolls. The dragon had become quite obsessed with learning as much as possible about his kind. So of course she would help out! But upon hearing about sugary treats, her mind quickly shifted gears.
“Since Discord is probably involved, I’d wager it is. But I can’t seem to move it with my magic.”
“What?!” Pinkie seemed to be in a state of panic. “Then how am I gonna eat it?!”
Twilight’s brain had to shut down for a few moments while she considered what her friend had asked. While it was true you often did eat cotton candy, you normally did not think of food in an emergency like this. Especially one that involved one of their friends missing. “Pinkie… I…wait, maybe that can work.”
“What?”
“Garret, do you think you could carry Pinkie up there?”
The griffon shrugged and nodded then immediately regretted his choice when the pink pony hopped onto his back. “Hi-Yo, Garret! Away!”
“Um, okay…” Garret said out loud, yet everyone else was clearly thinking the same thing. He sped up after jumping high into the air. He couldn’t quite see Pinkie, but he did feel himself slow down while hearing some chewing noises. Garret looked over and spotted a pegasus they had never seen before. It was clearly a mare, though. “Uh, hello?”
“Nice day we’re having,” the mare quipped sarcastically.
“It’s nice and sunny…”
The mare grunted and waited. Pinkie suddenly burped and before she knew what was happening, the mare fell and then quickly flapped her wings. “Thanks.” The mare did a quick flip in the air and then darted away from them to land with the group.
Pinkie was panting over and over and rubbed her belly. “Oh… I don’t think I can eat all of Cloudsdale! How are we gonna get them all un stuck?”
Garret squinted his eyes downward, he noticed the floating city just happened to be directly above the lake. He looked back and found that the candy she had eaten had morphed back to its original form. “Pinkie? Do you think you could eat some more? So you could free more of them?”
Pinkie saluted and nodded. “I think so, let’s do this!”
The creatures on the ground watched in awe and even horror. Pinkie was relentless in her quest to end the pegasi’s suffering. By the end, she had freed well over one hundred of them, a fraction of the city at best estimate. They landed, with the pink pony feeling the worst tummy ache in Equestrian history.
“Where’s Rainbow?” Blaze looked around frantically but found no sight of the Rainbow maned daredevil.
“She must still be stuck up there. Oh… what do we do?!” Fluttershy looked to be on the brink of panic.
Garret walked up to her. “It’s simple isn't it? You and the other pegasus ponies can make a tornado to wash away the cotton candy up there.”
“Me? Oh no, no, no, no, no...no,” Fluttershy said, trailing off at the end.
Luna cleared her throat. “Young Fluttershy, we will need as many flying creatures as we can get. I will gather the others and instruct them. Be ready soon.”
Fluttershy shivered and watched the princess of the night fly over to the other pegasi. She noted only one of the Wonderbolts (Soarin, a well-known pegasus stallion) was a part of the group, meaning they would most likely need all of them to help out.
Fluttershy sighed. “I can’t do that, I could never do that in school.” She felt something tug on her tail and looked back. “What is it, sweetie?”
“You okay?”
“Oh, yes. I’d love to help free Luna’s sister and help Cloudsdale, but I’m afraid I’m too weak of a flyer to help with a tornado. I’m no Rainbow Dash.”
He thought about that and then smiled. “Sure you are! Rainbow was so nice to me, and you’re nice to me!”
She wanted to argue that wasn’t what she meant, but he did have a point. “Well, I suppose so. I do try to be nice and loyal to my friends. I kind of learned that from Rainbow.”
“See! You can do this!” Shyfrost cheered, imagining the mare making a tornado somehow. How did that even work?
“Oh… but I may get in the way…” Fluttershy looked uncertain again.
Shyfrost was quick to spring into action. “Uh, Spike!” The dragon looked up from his reading. “Don’t you think Fluttershy can make a tornado?”
“Uh, sure!” he called back.
“See?”
Despite not having evidence, it did make her feel better. “Oh, well, I suppose I could give it a try.”
“Yes!”
Fluttershy looked up at the other pegasus ponies practicing while Princess Luna barked out instructions. “Oh… maybe not.”
Shyfrost smacked his face with his claw. “Fluttershy, you can do this!”
She bit her lip and looked down at him, then smiled widely. “Okay, I can do this!”
“No, I can't do this, I can’t do this!” The mare dug her hooves into the ground, getting pushed by her four friends and two dragons.
After about a minute, she stopped just in front of Princess Luna. The mare looked her over for a moment and then nodded. “Fluttershy, stand over with the starting team, over there.” She pointed to the right. She looked over and found around thirty ponies standing in a circle, waiting just on the shore.
“Th- the starting team? Oh, no, no… Princess Luna if it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll just sit this one out, okay bye!” She tried to take off, her wings were already flapping when her body froze in mid air. She looked all around in panic and found that Princess Luna had her firmly held in her magical grasp.
“Fluttershy, we need as many ponies as possible if this is to work. What is wrong?”
Fluttershy bit her lip and sighed. “I’m a weak flyer…”
Princess Luna raised a brow to that. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
“I was last in my class for physical education and everypony there always laughed at me and I hate flying too fast and I’m not as strong as Rainbow Dash and--”
Princess Luna raised a hoof, silencing the mare instantly, not wishing to anger the princess. “Have you always thought of yourself as weak?”
“For- for flying, yes.”
Princess Luna chuckled and gently lowered the mare to the ground. “Then don’t.”
“Wha?”
“Don’t think of yourself as a weak flyer,” Luna said simply, and then started to walk away. “Just stay in your group and I’ll instruct you soon.”
Fluttershy could only nod and walk away, feeling a great weight lifted from her. I’m not a weak flyer? I… I kept putting myself down because of those mean ponies in class… She looked up, looking more resolute. Okay, no more!
Luna quickly found the only orange dragon in the group. “Shyfrost? I need you to be in the middle of the ponies.”
Shyfrost turned around and twiddled his fingers nervously. “Um, I don’t think I have enough in me to freeze all of that water. The giant spider I did before wasn’t that big, and I only did part of it!”
“Fear not, I plan to use some magic of my own to amplify your breath. It should be enough to freeze the tornado in place, so long as we are able to create it.”
“Um, okay…” He nodded and joined the pegasus ponies, standing directly in the middle but still near Fluttershy.
Twilight ran up to Princess Luna, having heard the conversation, and then cleared her throat. “Princess Luna, are you sure that’s wise?”
“Not really, combining magic and dragon fire can lead to disastrous results in unskilled horns. Combining the same and… his magic, well, it is a gamble.”
“Just be careful, I’m sure it will be fine and it sounds like a solid plan.” Twilight kicked her hoof in the ground. “I just wish I had more time to study his magic to find out what he can do before we try this.”
Luna could simply shrug. She didn’t feel overly confident of her plan, but with so few pegasi at their disposal, it would have to do.
Fluttershy had never felt more anxious in all of her life. The tornado had already started and she would soon be next. Over and over she watched more ponies jump in the circles and effortlessly (for the most part) synchronize with the rest; the lake had begun to spin. At least the part with the pegasus ponies above it had started spinning impossibly fast, yet only a little bit of water was rising. It wasn't enough.
“Fluttershy!” The mare in question snapped to attention and turned around to face Luna. “Now is your time. Jump in!”
She gritted her teeth but nodded. As much as she didn’t want to, as much as she really wanted to leave or suggest they try something else, she jumped. It took her a full second to begin flapping her wings, mainly because she felt shock that she actually did jump without hesitation. The goggles she now donned helped slightly, but it was very difficult to see. She wasn’t even sure if she was flying correctly.
I’m not hitting anypony, but I feel water! While water was certainly a good sign, feeling it was not. It meant she was flying too closely to it. It took a few cycles, but eventually she flew away from it, flying faster and faster. She felt dizzy, but she kept flying. How do other ponies get used to this?! It was almost irritating. She kept flying though. She wasn't weak. The other ponies may have started it, but she was certainly the last one in and the one to spark the tornado in full. Rainbow would speed up… She gritted her teeth and did her best to keep the wind out of her face. So let’s speed up!
“Go Fluttershy!” Shyfrost cheered, not really sure if she could hear him or not. He felt something on his shoulder and looked up. It was Princess Luna.
“When I say so, please breathe on the ground as if to freeze it. I will handle the rest.”
“Okay…”
He didn’t expect her to say so ten seconds later, which is why he stumbled on the ground when she spoke. “NOW!”
He wanted desperately to say “could say please”, but instead he quickly complied. He started breathing ice out as quickly as he could. It was a lot more than any of the ponies or other had seen him attempt. The ground was freezing over as if winter had came early.
Luna’s horn flared brightly, engulfing the ice and the dragon in a purple glow. She had to strain to not only amplify his breath, but enlarge the ice and shroud the tornado with it, all while doing her best to avoid hitting any ponies. Her eyes quickly glazed over the same color of purple. She knew the risks when she started, though. Her spell could not be stopped until finished.
Fluttershy started to feel colder. Had she hit water again? It was a quick feeling that overcame her while she slowed down to a full stop. She hung in the air at an odd angle, one of her wings encased in something, but what? She then realized (much to her embarrassment) that her eyes had been closed the whole time. She cracked them open and relaxed her facial features. “Huh?” The sight that greeted her was very odd. The tornado that had once been moving and made of liquid was now solid and sparkling. Ponies in front of her were stuck in the ice at different heights, their wings (in some cases) fully encased or others at odd angles like her with only bits of their bodies or wings inside. “Oh dear…”
Back on the ground the others watched on in bewilderment. “Are they okay?!” Twilight’s voice echoed through the silence. Luna ignored her and flew up high above the frozen structure.
“Ponies! Stand still and do not attempt to break apart! I will be but a moment!”
“Hurry up!”
“This stings!”
“I’m quite comfortable…”
“Shut up!”
Luna rolled her eyes and flew straight into the middle, landing gracefully below. The other ponies waited awkwardly, wondering just what was happening.
“Oh for crying out loud!” Luna screamed out. “Hold still!”
“But, I need it!” Another voice screamed.
Twenty minutes later, Princess Luna and, to their relief, Celestia came soaring over the sky. Celestia’s mane looked as if it was drying from the lake and she simply seemed exhausted to them.
“We have returned, my sister is fine.”
“What was all that yelling for?” Twilight inquired, resisting the urge to run up to her mentor and tackle-hug her.
“I do not wish to talk about it…” Celestia muttered.
Luna smirked. “When I got down there a spell of Discord’s set off. It said to free her I had to eat a whole cake.”
“She made me watch…” Celestia shuddered.
“It said to make you watch or we would not be able to free you from your bonds!”
“I was starving! That bastard…”
“Princess…” Twilight got ready to scold, wanting to mention there were children around.
Celestia sighed. “Forgive me, Twilight. I am just on edge.” She blinked and looked over the group, surveying them in confusion. “Perhaps you should get me up to speed here…”
“Oh! Well--”
“Hey, get us down already!”
They all looked up to the frozen tower, then looked over to Spike. He blinked and blushed. “Uh, I probably could, but some of the ponies may get hurt if I do it too quickly.”
Celestia, still feeling exhausted, managed to smile. “That won't be necessary, Spike.”
It had taken a while, nearly all night, for Princess Celestia and Luna to free everypony and clean out Cloudsdale. Of course they weren’t working alone, they had to make several tornadoes throughout the night which only got easier as more pegasi were freed. Twilight watched the last tornado over the pink clouds, seeing the color drain from them and drench the lake below.
“Um, what about the fish in the lake, Twilight?” Rarity questioned, giving a nervous glance back to Fluttershy who only smiled.
“Rarity, this lake has no life in it. Nopony ever bothered to tend to it or add any. It should be fine.”
“Oh… I feel like that is something I should know about… hmm.”
As it turned out, the last pegasus to be free was none other than Rainbow Dash, stuck smack dab in the middle of the city where she had originally landed. When freed, it took her a few moments to realize (since she had been sleeping at the time), but a lifetime of similar situations had her quickly flapping her wings when she woke.
They all watched her fly back when Pinkie thought something out loud. “I’m surprised nopony got hurt. All the pegasus ponies flew down so easily. If I had been stuck in cotton candy for so long I’d have been caught off guard when I was just so easily freed… Hey! Candy!”
Fluttershy chuckled. “Most pegasus ponies can easily come back from something like that. Flight is our life… even if I don’t show it that much…”
Rainbow quickly landed near them. “Oh, man, that was crazy! I--” She was tackled to the ground by a mysterious orange colored blur that quickly turned out to be Scootaloo.
“You’re okay!” Scootaloo’s voice echoed through the valley. “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re--” She stopped herself and blushed when she noticed everypony was essentially staring at her and Rainbow Dash seemed to be in pain from the tackle to her chest. “Uh… sorry.”
“It’s okay…” Rainbow wheezed.
Around them, Princess Luna began to instruct Pegasus ponies to go and check their city for damages and report back. Princess Celestia landed after Rainbow. “Now then, can somepony get me up to speed? Perhaps Rainbow?”
“And that’s pretty much what’s happening, Princess.”
She nodded, looking away from Twilight and onto Canterlot. “I see. Where is Shyfrost?”
“Shyfrost? Uh, over there.” She pointed off in the distance where the dragon was chatting with Spike.
“Excuse me.” She stood up and walked over to the drake. His talking died down and he turned around.
“Oh, hey.”
“Hello. It would seem I owe you an apology regarding your amulet. Apparently it is very special, like you.”
He blushed a bit and nodded. “Uh, it's okay. Though it’s not like they work like the Elements of Harmony. I guess they’re not that special.”
“How about special enough?” She giggled and he laughed a bit. “That can be quite useful. In fact, we may need them now more than ever. Keep it close.” He nodded and she walked back to Twilight.
“Alright, now what, Princess?’
“After getting some food, I am unsure. While I am unlikely to fall for the same trick twice, this Dee is obviously quite powerful. My sister and I had enough trouble handling Discord before the Elements showed themselves to us. We are most likely very outmatched.”
“Princess… how come it was just you two fighting him in those old stories? How come other ponies couldn’t help you?”
“They were too busy fighting amongst themselves. Ponies in those times were not the most civil to each other.”
“They are now,” she pointed out.
“True; but in this day and age not too many are versed in combat or magic.”
“No, but Discord doesn’t seem like the kind to fight. Am I wrong?”
Celestia’s muzzle formed a face that Twilight couldn’t exactly figure out and she was silent for a while. “You are correct. Discord almost never fought us physically, and when he did it was often due to us provoking him out of necessity. He would almost always fight us with mental games, things I would rather not remember. It was very… chaotic.”
“Well, we have all of Cloudsdale and Ponyville on our side. Along with all of us and you and Princess Luna. That’s something.”
“Yes, it is something. We will need more though. With so few unicorns on our side we will need an advantage, something that not just ponies can provide.”
“You mean other races?”
“Correct. Let us hope Shyfrost’s amulet and his friends artifacts do what you describe they do. We will need these Unity artifacts now more than ever.”
“Yeah, alright. Should I go talk to him about it?”
“Yes, please do.”
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Seems like the story's starting to wind down towards a conclusion.
4416775 It would seem so, but I may just have a few tricks up my sleeve to extend that conclusion from a rushed one to a proper ending.
4416781
Oh, I expect that.
4416814 I would hope so... its hard to please people on endings.
more pweese?
4421744 More will come
Just ran out of chapters... Now what am I supposed to do with my life?!
4448411 Read more of my stories?
Woooow nice chap !!!! , but ..... I still wondering if Shyfrost is spike's brother :'D , plx write more !!
when was this posted?
4484955 Do you mean chapter 23? '19th May 2014'
4485896 ok then i was late...
4485997 huh?
4486003 i read it to-day
4509577 Thank you, oh and are you typing on a phone? Because something gave it away
4597227
"Just get out of the way!" A third griffon spoke out in pure anger, glaring daggers from a distance to the frost dragon.
"...No." The creature crossed his arms and sighed, he assessed each griffon before him and concluded that a battle could only end badly, for them. The lead griffon, or what the non bird creatures thought was the lead stepped forward.
"Just keep them out of town. Lets get going!" The other griffons gave a long sideways glance back at the changeling and dragons and obliged, flying away. The minotaur then turned around and walked closer to the three, but stopped when he noticed something in his saddlebag was stirring. Confused the three of them moved their heads forward to see what was up. Apparently, a lot was up, for the very second the creature took out the item in question, the artifacts held by two of the three members began to stir as well. Suddenly a flash blinded all three of them, for a moment there was an odd sense of acceptance among the group, like the blinding a pulsating light was meant to be there. Then, as quickly as the light came, it left; leaving behind two confused dragons, a changeling who was grinning from ear to ear, and a minotaur who seemed to accept whatever happened far too quickly.
Spike finally spoke, giving voice to the same thought running through everyone's mind.
"Whoa..."
Did you perhaps skim?
4602087 if anyone now anymore sand it my way
That's awesome, but what do you mean by this line?
4819527 Maybe you're reading too deeply into it?
An excellent story you have here. My only complaint is that it needs more description especially when it comes to their surroundings and the environment.
4824930 Yeah, I got real lazy in most of the chapters in this story. I focused just a bit too much on dialogue
4825530
You can fix it later I'm sure. In the next chapter, I beg you to put some life into the world.
4826062 I'll try, but I have to be honest. I have been putting more life into other worlds, into newer stories. I think it's important to remain consistent with how I wrote this thing through out. I do need practice in environmental description though.
4826062 Also, I had tried a new story that didn't work out, it didn't get much attention or comments at all. And I had written far more about the environment and actions in that one then ponies speaking. Maybe I am just not great at making stories seem interesting without excessive dialogue
4826336
You just gotta find the right balance between description and dialogue. I'm sure you can do it as it is not hard.